Revelations
by Symphonic Silence
Summary: Lightning and Snow each have their own revelations about their slowly budding relationship.
1. The First Spark

**Si's Note: (Please note that I do not own FFXIII or its characters. If I did, I'd have a lot more money than I do. )**

**The first sixteen chapters of this story were my first attempt at fanfiction, and so hopefully I do a decent job representing the characters. This story will follow the storyline of FFXIII as closely as possible..but, obviously, it's going to stray slightly. I do hope you don't mind! Please feel free to review!**

**Added later: I've been told by a few people that the story "Good Ol' Days" could almost be a prequel to "Revelations". Just a thought!**

* * *

Her breath came in short, ragged gasps as she tore through side streets and narrow corridors, her forehead already gleaming with perspiration. She was tired, worn out, but she knew she couldn't stop. She had seen the explosion, as had the exotic tribal woman known as 'Fang', and she knew that Hope and Snow were probably not far from whatever had blown up. They had a knack for finding trouble and, as always, she was right.

The sudden, unexpected stop nearly caused Fang to crash into her, but she couldn't help it. Seeing Hope flat on his back, struggling to rise as a giant subjugator threatened to beat down upon him was more than she expected. She had seen enough to know that he had tried to take on the fiend alone: Snow had collapsed not far from Hope and, instead of struggling to rise, he seemed perfectly content remaining unconscious. Even from a distance, Lightning could see shining bruises beginning to well on the exposed skin of his arms and face.

Was the creature responsible, or had it been the sheer power of the explosion that caused such bruising? Was Snow okay? Did he—

"Time to party...Light, get over here!"

Lightning snapped back to the present situation, drawing her gunblade and charging the enemy simultaneously, the path of her sword driven by the image of the unmoving Snow behind her. Fang moved aside quickly: Lightning wouldn't have slowed for anything or anyone. She had every intention of making that monster pay for the damage it caused.

* * *

The strength of Lightning alone was enough to carry Snow's dead weight the remainder of the way to Hope's house. As soon as they arrived, Hope escorted the awkward duo, with a trailing Fang, into a guest room complete with a quaint bed that would be claimed by Snow. Fang immediately went to retrieve the necessary medical supplies from Hope's father, who they had passed in the hall and had looked utterly alarmed and confused, but had nonetheless complied with Hope's demand to use the extra bedroom.

Now Hope was standing besides Lightning, shifting his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other, peering over her arm to watch her study the extent of Snow's injuries. He watched on as Lightning removed Snow's overcoat and shirt with great efficiency, and Lightning noted the way his eyes flickered towards hers while she surveyed the damage done to Snow's body.

"It's all my fault," Hope croaked weakly, seeing the many bruises and lacerations that stretched across his torso. "I tried to…I almost went through with it, then the explosion hit and he...he saved me from the fall, and I…I…"

"Hope," Lightning stated, placing a firm, comforting hand on the boy's shoulder. "He chose to save you. It's not your fault."

"I would have killed him, Light! If that explosion wouldn't have come, I would have—"

"Hope." Her voice was lower, more forceful this time. "Pull yourself together. He isn't dead. He's here, now, with us. Don't worry about what may have happened. What's important is that it _didn't _happen."

Lightning's eyes hovered on the fair-haired boy before her, waiting to see some reaction other than the countenance of watery-eyed misery that he now wore. Her patience was rewarded when Hope finally nodded in understanding. The heavy burden on his shoulders lifted slightly by her words and, finally, Hope was able to give a small smile.

"Go help Fang." Hope nodded again before retreating. He reached the door and turned back, his face full of apprehension when he looked once more upon Snow. His anxiety lifted when Lightning leaned over Snow's body and carefully began to examine each one of his injuries, her brows knitted together as skilled hands went to work.

Snow was in good hands.

"What do you _mean _you don't have antibiotics?" Fang cried in the background. "Are you all barbarians? Who doesn't have antibiotics?"

"Best go, Hope," Lightning warned, never looking up from her careful efforts. Hope left without further delay. He didn't know much about this Fang, but from what he could tell, she wasn't one to cross.

Finally alone with Snow, Lightning was able to concentrate fully on the task ahead. She removed the satchel at her side and slung the holster for her gunblade over a chair in the room, which she had pulled near Snow's bed.

Her fingers swiftly went to work, massaging and manipulating each inch of Snow's upper body to find the hidden injuries that lay beneath the surface of unbroken skin. She methodically made her way from Snow's arms to his ribs, and once she reached the latter she felt his body involuntarily respond to her touch. Normally, most wouldn't have felt the reflexive response, but Lightning's trained hands were not only able to feel it, she was able to identify the source as a hairline fracture of the third rib. She committed the injury to memory as her fingers proceeded with their descent, finding two more similarly fractured ribs, along with several bruised muscles and bones.

After finishing with the front she needed to reach his back to repeat the process, but knew that moving him herself would be no small task. She called for Fang, who appeared moments later carrying a wide variety of ointments, salves, and six different rolls of gauze. Fang smiled sheepishly when Lightning arched a brow at the mass pile of goods. "I didn't know what you'd need, so I brought it all. Better safe than sorry, yeah?" She shrugged, setting the items down on the nightstand besides Lightning. "What did you call for?"

"I need you to pull him forward for me. I have to get behind him," Lightning responded, picking through the goods Fang had brought, hoping that the Estheim's at least had a basic disinfectant.

"Wouldn't it be easier to roll him over? He's a bit big to hold for a long period of time…"

Lightning quickly shook her head. "He's got a few fractured ribs. I don't want to put the extra stress on the ribs by laying him on his stomach. Just grab his shoulders and pull him forward."

"Oh, and that's not gonna add any extra stress?"

Fang dropped her point quickly when she found herself on the receiving end of Lightning's cold glare. Hopping on the bed without further protest, Fang grabbed hold of Snow's shoulders and heaved him forward. The groan that escaped from Snow was enough to make Lightning wince—she didn't need to imagine the pain he would be in when he woke if this wasn't treated properly.

Once he was sitting upright, Lightning settled in behind Snow, placing her knees on either side of his torso to help prop him up. Though the angle was awkward, she promptly went to work, continuing the process that she had completed on the opposite side minutes before. There were no broken bones, somehow. _It's probably because of all the muscles on his back, _she thought to herself. _They absorbed the brunt of the fall…that would explain the number of and severity of the __bruises, but lack of breaks... _

Lightning's fingers slowed as they reached his shoulder-blades, unable to pay attention while simultaneously marveling at the hard mass of muscle beneath her touch. Everything about him was an excess of strength, and every ounce of that strength was beautifully crafted and molded to form the slumbering giant before her. She immediately understood the attraction that Serah had for him, and also the attraction that she herself had towards Snow that she had denied for so long. She became lazier in her task as her memories drifted off to times long since passed, before Serah had even met Snow, when Lightning was a budding star within the Bodhum Guardian Corps., when…

"Are you done yet? He's no dainty daisy, you know," Fang panted, readjusting her slipping grip on Snow. Lightning nodded quickly, too quickly, and clumsily reached over to grab the gauze and ointments.

"Just another second," she mumbled, slathering the creams hurriedly on his wounds; too embarrassed about her lackadaisical performance moments before to apply it properly. Once finished she followed the cream trail with the gauze, wrapping a tight bandage around his midsection before tying it off over his shoulder. All in all, it was a pretty damn good field dressing.

"I've got a date with lunch." Fang released Snow as soon as she saw Lightning finish the bandaging process with a flourish. Snow's sudden weight pressed heavily against Lightning's knees. Lightning used the excuse to throw another scowl in Fang's direction. "See ya," Fang saluted, turning on her heel to leave, massaging her arm as she went.

"Big oaf," Lightning mumbled, nudging Snow with her legs. While she had been finished with the dressing of the wounds, she hadn't been entirely done with healing him yet. She still could have used Fang, but she wasn't about to ask for _that_ wench's help any time soon. Instead Lightning ensured that her legs were firmly planted on either side of Snow, using a large portion of her remaining stamina to do so. The other bit was used to conjure a hopefully potent cure spell.

She felt the warm, familiar tingling of magic deep within her core as she summoned her increasingly useful l'Cie powers. Mentally reaching within herself, she grabbed hold of the now-pulsating ball of heat and slowly withdrew it from her body, guiding it forward from her center of being to between her breasts, just beneath the surface of her skin, then slowly pushed the orb to her arms and down to her fingertips.

Gingerly placing her hands upon Snow's back, she allowed the magic to seep from her body into Snow's, noting how greedily he absorbed it. She continued pumping the spell out of her, imagining the bruised sinew and broken bones that were her target and directing the cure towards those same injuries. She made her way from Snow's back to his abdomen, never once allowing her concentration to slip. Her brows were furrowed, sweat was beading at her temples but, for Snow's sake when he woke, she could not allow herself to become distracted. It was hard, though, considering the pace with which his body was absorbing the magic.

Once reaching his lower torso, her fingers crawled upwards, seeking out the broken ribs. When she found them, the magic took its course towards those bones to help them mend. The careful process ended abruptly when her hands slid off the bandage and onto Snow's bare skin. Her concentration had been shattered. Why?

_As if I need to ask, _a small voice within her chided. She was still in her awkward sitting position behind Snow, her arms wrapped snugly around his waist while her hands were resting comfortably on his chest. Were she to drop her knees to the side, Snow would have fallen back to rest his head against her shoulders—_a nice thought_, she added absentmindedly while wondering what it would feel like to have his weight against her in such a manner.

She traced lazy patterns against his skin as she continued fancying the idea, a small smile threatening to play upon her lips. No, it was more than an idea—it was a craving deep within her, one that she had banished long ago when Serah had first started dating Snow.

_Serah._

Lightning jumped out of the bed without a second thought, the small smile that had been present moments before replaced with a horrible grimace. _This is Serah's fiancée. This is my future brother-in-law. This is _Snow! _What the hell am I doing?_

Thoroughly disgruntled now, she didn't even care that Snow had let out a low, pained moan when his head had nicked the headboard as he fell backward. She didn't care that his eyelids were fluttering slightly. No, she didn't care about him at all. The only thing on her mind was that she was losing control of herself, allowing the walls she had painstakingly built to come crashing down. She was being weak, and it needed to stop. Now.

Throwing herself against the wall next to the bedside table, Lightning removed the dagger Hope had returned and began to flip it open and shut with great speed, venting the frustration she held towards herself on the small metallic weapon. _Careless, Lightning. You're getting careless. What would Serah th__ink?_

Not wanting to be alone with her rapidly darkening thoughts, Lightning switched on the television and left it at the first station that came on: the news. She watched the camera pan over a large group of riotous people who claimed they came in contact with l'Cie—them. Rolling her eyes, Lightning resumed her position against the wall and toyed with the dagger.

She noted Snow shifting a few feet away, but didn't go to tend to him, not yet. The ungrounded fear that her countenance would hold something far greater than indifference was presently in her mind, and she didn't want that fear to become a reality. Instead, she flipped the TV off , using the brief distraction to collect herself. When she turned back, Snow was struggling to sit up.

"Lay down," she said quietly. Snow looked up, almost bewildered, and when his eyes fell on Lightning the bewilderment faded into something else, something softer. Lightning flipped the blade shut to sit near him at his bedside.

"All right," Snow sighed, falling back to the downy surface of the bed. His arm cradled his head, and—she may have imagined it—Snow glanced over far too quickly as Lightning crossed her legs. "I see you took the kid's toy away," he said casually, his eyes flicking from the dagger to somewhere lower before returning.

Lightning hesitated slightly. Had she truly just seen what she thought she saw? Her eyes were surely playing tricks on her.

_I'm acting like a school girl._ "He gave it back to me," she shrugged. "Said he didn't need it anymore."

"Go figure." Snow's face had fallen at her words, and Lightning felt a pang of guilt rush through her. It wasn't Hope's fault at all, what had happened to Snow…no, this was all her fault. Every bruise and broken rib was her fault, and she knew it. A long silence grew between them.

"It was too much," Lightning moved on, forcing herself to think of something else. Snow's gaze returned to her, urging her to elaborate. "What happened to Serah," she added, knowing that she had to think of Serah now, to remind herself why she couldn't have these feelings towards the brute before her. "All I could think about was 'what could I have done?' I hated myself for not trusting her. It…" she paused, took a breath. "…hurt too much. I couldn't face it."

She couldn't face it. She couldn't face that it was partially her fault Serah was gone. Couldn't face the fact that it was her fault Hope had readily attempted to kill Snow. She couldn't face these feelings that erupted within her like a volcano.

Snow, however, remained silent. His thoughts would be a mystery to her, even while she tried to express the tumultuous state of her heart. "Look, Snow," she demanded when he refused to face her. "I…"

'_I' what? _She thundered inwardly. _'I think I like you, Snow? Please forget about my sister and r__un off with me, so we can be crystals together?' Grow up. Snap out of it. This isn't you._

"I'm sorry," Lightning finished. "Forgive me."

That was the last thing Snow expected. He sat up, suddenly very alert, his face every bit as intense as Lightning's. "For what?" he whispered.

Unable to handle the fleeting emotion that she imagined within those crystalline eyes, she stood and turned away. "Everything."

That one small word spoke volumes more than she could ever convey.

_Everything. _

_Forgive me for treating __you so horribly when we first met. Forgive me for the jealousy that I've always harbored towards your relationship with my sister. Forgive me for never believing in you, for doubting your resolve. Forgive me for not being able to tell you the one thing tha__t's haunting me._

_Everything. Forgive me for everything._

She wished desperately that he would understand, but she knew that its meaning would go unnoticed.

"If you told me your real name, I suppose I could," Snow said, lifting the heavy air with his jovial response.

Her real name? Why, of all things, would he want that? Maybe…maybe he, too…?

_Pull yourself together!_

She laughed slightly at herself, though her mood was far from lighthearted. "Have Serah tell you—when she comes back," she said, the faintest note of bitterness lining her voice.

Snow turned away, his face saturated with something similar to disappointment. "Deal."

Her eyes lingered far too long on Snow but luckily Hope came in to save the day, breaking the tension that had momentarily settled between them. Hope mentioned something about his father wanting to talk with them.

Snow managed to stand besides Lightning, motioning for Hope to lead the way. Lightning helped Snow walk at first, her arm wrapped around his shoulder to ease him into his first steps, thinking the entire time: _this is how it should be._


	2. The Silent Guardian

**Si's Note: (I do not own FFXIII or its characters. If I did, I wouldn't be driving a car that literally falls apart on the highway.)**

**Please review to let me know your thoughts of the tale thus far!**

* * *

Snow leaned heavily against the guardrails of the Lindblum, his mind deep in thought. Something had been bothering him ever since he had regained consciousness at Hope's house. He wasn't quite sure how to put it into words to ask Lightning about it, but he knew it had something to do with her healing him. It was the only explanation.

Subconsciously, he placed a hand against his rapidly-healing ribcage. Oblivion hadn't completely overtaken him while Lightning had healed him: awareness claimed him from time to time. He recalled waking a couple times, never enough to open his eyes, but enough to know that something was going on.

The first time he woke, he felt two pairs of hands on him—one grabbing his shoulders, another tickling his back. Why the hell someone was tickling his back, he'd never know, but there it was.

The second occasion was bothering him currently. He remembered arms embracing him; thin, strong arms with a secure hold. Someone's hands were on his abdomen and a strange warmth was coming from them. A cure, no doubt, but it was unlike any cure he had received before: this one was lingering. He could still feel it, deep within him, within his very being. He could feel the traces of the magic running its course through his bloodstream, still healing the broken bones and repairing the damaged muscles. It was refusing to leave; it had ensnared itself within his body…and he found he rather enjoyed it.

The remnants within him were wisps of Lightning, an electrical shock that hummed through his veins and provided him with wonderous warmth and comfort in equal parts. Every last drop of her remaining stamina must have been put into that spell, and she must have concentrated far more than normal when it was applied. As the magic took its course, it left traces of her everywhere. He enjoyed how he had a bit of Lightning with him at all times-right now it was as close as he could possibly be to Serah.

To be honest, the thought of Lightning thrilled him just as much as it terrified him. Lightning was an imperfect physical reflection of Serah: the subtle differences of appearance were virtually diluted compared to their striking similarities. What reminded Snow most of Serah, however, was the stark contrast between their personalities. The impressions they had imparted upon Snow were as different as day and night. Serah's aura had been lighthearted, tender, and had always danced around Snow while enveloping him with love. Lightning's, however, was a resonation of power that invaded Snow to his core, unrelenting until it struck chords of awe and wonder within him. What Serah had lacked in strength of body she made up with strength of heart. Lightning compensated for her hardened heart with a shielded mind and a quick draw. Sometimes it amazed him that the two were even related but, when he truly allowed himself to consider their differences, Lightning's steeled walls made his heart ache for Serah's easy-going conversations and natural ability to love all the more.

He reached into his pocket as he turned to head back inside, aiming for the one thing he would never see of Lightning and his only reminder he carried of Serah: a tear.

As he walked back into the Lindblum, he gave a startled intake of breath—when he tried to picture Serah's face, it was Lightning's that had floated to the forefront of his mind. He hadn't even noticed he was reminiscing upon the wrong image until several seconds had passed.

"Snow! There you are!" Hope jogged over to catch Snow. "Lightning told me to tell you that we're about to board the _Palamecia_, and that we're all needed up on the bridge."

This was no time to be thinking about it. "All right! Let's go kick some Sanctum ass!" He managed to give Hope a reassuring grin, diminishing all traces of confusion and frustration that had been present seconds before.

The two walked together towards the bridge. Snow, sticking to his word, forced all traces of Serah, Lightning, and his jumbled thoughts into a lonely corner of his mind.

* * *

Lightning was weaving effortlessly through PSICOM soldiers while simultaneously tossing bolts with great accuracy over her shoulder. Muscles in her legs shuddered violently as she leaped high in the air, twisting sharply to face the Huntress that Snow had launched skyward. Lightning let out a menacing snarl as she released her pent-up fury on the woman, her unforgiving blade colliding with the unfortunate soldier's body. As gravity finally kicked in and began accelerating Lightning back towards the floor, she gave one final upwards thrust to the undercarriage of the Huntress, ending her life abruptly.

"Nice work!" Fang said approvingly, her staff held resolutely within her hands to shield her from the punishing blows of an Orion. Her distraction cost her, though: the Orion's arm swept past her staff and crashed into her exposed side, easily tossing Fang several feet. She landed in a small heap, crumpled and bleeding, seemingly defeated even as she struggled to stand with the assistance of her staff.

"Hope!" Snow thundered, jerking a free hand towards Fang. At Snow's prompt, Hope cut off the ice storm he had been conjuring and focused instead on sending a cure Fang's way. The healing magic immediately took effect and began pulling the skin taut right before their eyes. Fang gave Hope a grin as she regained her footing, but it quickly turned into a roar as she chased down the Orion, seeking revenge.

"Nice job, Hope," Lightning said, backing away from the remaining few soldiers to stand between Snow and Hope. Snow cast her a sideways glance. She always had time to compliment Hope, to lift his spirits, no matter the situation.

Hope never took his eyes off the circling soldiers before him, but Snow could see his glowing smile. "Lightning, Snow! Let's go!"

All three charged forward at Hope's signal. Hope stopped first, immediately throwing out every elemental spell that he could in as fast a procession as possible. Lightning rounded around the first soldier and took on the second, but not before kicking the first one into Snow's outstretched fist. Snow met the poor soul's face with a monstrous force guiding his swing, following up with a second to the man's stomach. A few more jabs later, the man was either unconscious or dead at Snow's feet—he didn't bother checking. Both Hope and Lightning were finished with their fight and Fang rejoined them minutes later.

"Thanks for the help!" she jeered, marching past them towards corridors beyond. "Now, stop wasting time. We have to find Vanille!"

Lightning didn't wait another moment. She joined Fang's side and the two quickened their speed, leaving Hope and Snow in the dust. "Come on, kid," Snow groaned, shuffling his own feet forward. "We're not done yet."

Hope nodded and picked up Snow's pace, moving in relative silence. "One day," Hope vowed suddenly after watching Lightning dispatch a rogue soldier ahead, "I'm going to be able to fight like Light. I'm going to be able to protect all the people around me…and I'll be able to watch out for her, too."

Snow heard the earnest admiration in his voice and saw how the determination brightly burned within his eyes. Snow couldn't help but allow his own gaze to settle where Hope's fiery gaze still lingered—on the slowly disappearing posterior of Lightning. Even from this distance it was hard to miss the prowess that emanated from their silent guardian.

"Yeah," Snow heard himself say. "She is something, all right."

Snow found his feet moving faster along with Hope's; noticed that he drew up besides Lightning without really knowing why; and, to add to his amazement, he cast a sidelong glance at his fiancée's sister to silently appraise the beauty behind the hard, power-ridden exterior.

Her pale rose hair was streaming behind her as she ran, but a few stubborn strands clung desperately to the glistening sweat collecting along her jaw line. Stormy eyes swept over the area ahead of her, constantly scanning from right to left in search of anyone who dared impede their progress (and Snow silently pitied the ones who did). Her arms pumped with each step and as they did so her muscles contracted and flexed until her arm was seemingly nothing other than lean muscle with skin pulled taut over top. It was the same story with the rest of her body: pearly skin was wrapped tightly over her frame, accentuating each curve of muscle…and things otherwise. He wondered how her skin would feel beneath the scrutiny of his touch—would her solid muscles prevail or the suppleness of her skin?

But of course Snow's inspection didn't stop there. Every once and again he dared make another attempt to assess Lightning, and after each attempt he noticed something new and different about her that he had somehow missed the first time. His second glance took in her profile, noting how deceiving her feminine features were. She was no delicate flower, but one look by a stranger would make them think otherwise.

His third glance focused on her lips: shapely, smooth, delicate, soft. They were tantalizingly moist, even after all the exertion and stress that they had undergone within the past hour. Snow's thoughts wandered to contemplating how her lips would taste—

_Shit. I hope this is just loneliness talking._

Deep inside, beyond the dark recesses of his mind in places he dared not tread, he knew it wasn't loneliness speaking. It was far from it, perhaps the exact opposite. Right now, however, he had more pressing matters to deal with, like his current life-threatening situation, and decided that this issue would be considered later, when his heroic rescue mission was done and over with.

Coincidentally, at that precise moment, Vanille and Sazh blew their way through the wall of the airship. Snow always appreciated a good sense of timing, and that was a damn fine example of one.  
Happy for the brief reprieve from his own traitorous thoughts, Snow only allowed one thought to permeate his mind from that point forward: survival.

* * *

So. Here they were, on the fal'Cie-forsaken Pulse. What a grand day it had turned out to be.

Not only did he have to fight his way through an entire airship and deal with traitors and traitorous thoughts alike, he also had been a mouse in a maze of monsters that he hoped he'd never have to see again; had a mini melodramatic meltdown in front of Lightning and the others; watched Fang go slightly ballistic (to the point where he actually thought he might die); got shot at in an airship and watched as Hope was almost splattered on the ground; jumped on a big-ass Eidolon to prevent said splattering; and, at the end of it all, they landed in the middle of some horrible grassland where giant two-headed birds, sadistic behemoths, and the ever-lovable munchkins all proved that they could, at any given time, molest and murder them.

Oh, did he forget to mention the giant dinosaurs that could probably kill them just by looking their way? Because Pulse had those, too. Yet, it has to be mentioned that those were definitely Snow's favorite. Sure, they could take a step a thousand feet away and cause a big enough earthquake to rend the earth in two to swallow them whole, but at least the dinosaurs were so horribly slow that they were able to be outrun before they could take that step. The same couldn't be said for the other little beasties of this world.

Needless to say, they were slightly on edge.

Snow threw himself against the log nearest Lightning, rubbing his sore biceps. "They even have killer flowers here!" he moaned, earning the tiniest smirk of amusement from her. "I leaned over to look at one _and it almost ate my face_." Snow sighed in disgust. "Fang, Vanille…I hate your planet."

Sazh gave a hearty laugh from his stump. "Welcome to Hell!" He boomed, throwing his arms wide.

"Watch what you say, funny man," Fang snapped, taking her own seat next to Vanille after giving Sazh a glare that dared him to continue. She then tossed them all some native fruits to eat. "Be careful with these: too much and you'll be behind the bushes for the rest of the night."

Lightning scrunched her face, repulsed, pulling the fruit that she had been dangerously close to taking a bite from away from her mouth. "Thanks for the warning," she grimaced, setting the fruit far to her side.

"So you aren't going to eat?" Snow asked incredulously. Lightning shook her head and said that she really didn't want to find out how much her body could handle of the fruit. Snow frowned at the response and dug through one of his many pockets, not relenting in his search until he found his prize: a small bag of chocolate snacks. He offered them to Lightning, who accepted them with a simple thank-you, but Snow couldn't help but notice how her eyes danced with delight when she popped the first mini-cake into her mouth.

"No fair!" Vanille whined, tossing the core of her fruit aside. "I didn't know you had chocolate!"

"I need the sugar more than you do, since I'm taking watch tonight," Lightning shrugged, taking a small bite out of the second cake.

Snow shook looked away and shook his head vigorously once he realized his arousal at the way she was nibbling the snack. Eating had never looked sexier, in his mind.

_I really hope this is the loneliness talking._

By the time they all finished with their meager meal it was well past dusk. Five of them created a make-shift bed out of the scant materials they could find. Vanille and Hope were on the eastern edge of camp, Fang not far from Vanille's reach. Sazh and Snow were lying on the other side, both using smooth rocks as pillows. Snow currently was utilizing his huge coat as a blanket. Sazh made some joke about cuddling for warmth, but added after a short pause that he didn't want to feel emasculated next to Snow. Snow gaze a short chuckle and responded with a "suit yourself!" before turning towards the fire to fall asleep.

But sleep wasn't going to come easily tonight.

When Snow rolled over it was more than just the fire before him. Lightning was sitting near its perimeter, dropping her sword into the blaze and pulling it out every now and again to examine the searing, serrated edge of the blade. When it ceased glowing she would poke its surface, testing for something—Snow wasn't really sure what, or even if she actually was testing it for anything. All he knew is that the process went on for quite some time, and as she carried on her face fell further and further until it was overcast by an all-consuming shadow.

The process became somewhat maddening to Snow as the minutes dragged into an hour; it was always: drop blade into the fire, wait until it's scorching hot, remove, let cool, poke, repeat…all the while her face darkened dangerously. Her eyebrows were furrowed so deeply that they threatened to join together in mortal combat, her frown was severe, her eyes narrowed to slits.

She was fighting some fiend worse than the killer flowers, two-headed birds, and earth-shattering dinosaurs: at least those fiends could be fought with weapons and dispatched with sheer physical power. This enemy was far different. It would never die, never need to catch its breath. Whatever lurked in her mind would not rest when she needed to, and it had no need to bandage its wounds. It would always be waiting for her, and the monstrosity would catch her at her best or worst times. It tore Snow apart knowing that this was no enemy he could aid her against. Lightning was going to battle it alone, and she would never allow another to step in to fight in her stead. He couldn't be the hero here.

Snow, unable to watch Lightning's internal struggle any longer, was about to get up and offer Lightning his coat as a blanket, and maybe someone to talk to just to ease her mind when the most curious thing of all happened. Hope, who had wiggled far away from Vanille during the course of the night until he was distant from the rest of the group, began to cry out softly in his sleep. From his position Snow couldn't hear a word, but at the sound of Hope's distress Lightning jerked her blade shut and hurried to kneel by the young boy's side. Her voice, strong and low, managed to carry through the still night air.

"It's all right, kid," she said softly, and Snow could tell she was brushing hair from his face in a motherly fashion. "I'm here. Be strong."

At this Snow marveled. Behaving in a maternal fashion was probably the last thing he ever expected to see from Lightning, aside from an emotional breakdown but, as sure as this planet was a living hell, she was sitting just a few yards off, comforting the young boy throughout his nightmares. The shadows were still present on her face but had lightened considerably. No, her countenance now resembled a mother fretting over the well-being of a son instead a woman struggling for control over her soul.

The image made Snow's heart ache in a way he couldn't understand. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to Lightning, maybe go embrace her and say the same things she now spoke to Hope: that everything was going to be okay. He did not, however, want to say them to act as her father-figure or even just to be a friend. Snow wanted Lightning to know that he was there, and because of that fact everything would be fine. He wanted to say that she could finally let go and allow him take her burdens and ease them away from her heart. She didn't have to carry them alone.

Thoughts of the big, happy family Snow always craved floated into his head just then, but instead of banishing them he played with the idea of what Lightning would be like as a mother. Before tonight, he would have said she'd probably sooner become a Cie'th than be a mom but this changed his perspective. Now he had little doubt she'd protect her family with a ferocity that would be unmatched…but she would be far more than just a protective entity that had done nothing more than offer an egg in her spawn's creation and kick anyone's ass who messed with said spawn. She had the capacity to be gentle, caring, and loving: things Snow never knew Lightning was capable of.  
Now, because of Hope, she had stepped into a maternal role and was doing an excellent job: the way Hope had grown into a man during their short time together was proof enough of Lightning's ability to nurture and tend to a wounded boy and ease his pain.

Snow's hand came to rest on his abdomen.

Thoughts drifted further still into wondering what Lightning would be like as a wife. _She's quick and agile_, he thought silkily, amusing himself greatly with that thought alone. _She's got a te__m__per, too. She'd probably be abusive._ At that he shuddered slightly. She already _was_ abusive. His jaw was proof of that.

_No. She's not the same Lightning that she was. She's a lot different now: she's changed, just like Hope has. Hope's gone from a boy to a man. Lightning's gone from a hardened soldier to a woman._

_Almost,_ he added, remembering their battles on board the _Palamecia_ earlier that day.

He propped up his head to give himself a better view of Lightning. By this time she had removed her cape and draped it over Hope, tucking in the edges to ensure maximum heat retention. It was a chilly night, after all. Once she finished she stood, looking out to the vast wilderness that extended out before her and heaved a great sigh that seemed to stem from the bowels of the earth itself.

And so she remained, ever still and silent, keeping watch over Hope and the others without complaint despite the quickly-dropping temperature and her lack of a proper meal. She was their own silent guardian, the glue that held them all together. She deserved some sort of thanks, but what could Snow do to show his appreciation?

When Lightning finally turned around to resume her seated position on the log near the fire, she noted something new draped lazily over the half-rotten wood: Snow's over-sized trench coat. She gave a confused and slightly suspicious glance in the direction of Snow, who was slumbering peacefully on his outstretched arm.

Lightning hesitated, but then noticed the raised bumps on her arms as the wind began to pick up. Without a second thought she quickly threw the coat over her shoulders and hugged it tightly against her body, thankful for the wonderful warmth and comfort it provided.

In the shadows a slightly shivering Snow, who was using the lingering remnants of the spell Lightning had cast on him to warm his body, couldn't help but smile. _Now we're even_.


	3. Mystery Meat

**Si's Note: **(I don't think I need to mention the fact that I don't own FFXIII or its characters or anything of that nature. But I just did.)  
Please feel free to review. I always appreciate the opinions of others!

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Snow was the first to wake between the five who were graced with the opportunity to rest. Muscles in his back protested loudly as Snow stretched his arms wide over his head, unwilling to forgive Snow for sleeping on the cold, hard, merciless ground. As he made one vain attempt after another to untie the knots in his back, he cast a glance around the camp absentmindedly, taking in how much warmer it already was compared to the night before.

Not that he could really complain about the temperature. Lightning's lingering cure had done wonders in warming him throughout his slumber.

During his assessment of the camp he had noticed his coat lying in nearly the same spot he had placed it many hours earlier. Lightning no longer occupied it. In fact, she was nowhere to be seen.

Snow shot up, alarmed, eyes quickly darting from one edge of the camp to the other. He was about to wake the entire party up to go on a mad hunt when Lightning jumped nimbly over some brush and emerged from a wooded area, looking thoroughly disgruntled.

His heart calmed at once. "Where were you?" he demanded, despite his subsiding concern. Lightning wasn't one to waltz off while on duty.

"Looking for breakfast," she replied slowly, using Snow's grumbling stomach as a cue. "You forgot your coat on the log last night," she added.

Snow was skeptical of her answer. "Where's breakfast, then?" He crossed his arms over his chest, looking downwards at the top of Lightning's head.

Not caring to grace him with an answer, Lightning circled around Snow to get to the satchel she usually carried on her. She dug through its contents and pulled out Serah's dagger and turned back towards the woods. "I'm getting it," she said, flashing the dagger in the misty sunlight.

She disappeared behind a thick set of trees and didn't return immediately. Snow, shaking his head in disbelief that she'd actually attempt hide that she made use of his trench, heaved the coat over his shoulders to warm his aching body. The jacket released a smooth, creamy aroma that slowly permeated Snow's senses: at least he knew that he hadn't hallucinated her using his jacket, not when her scent still clung to it.

He resumed the guard duty that Lightning had abandoned, taking a seat near the fire on the dew-drenched earth. It was early morning still and their surroundings were eerily stagnant, devoid of life and movement. If anything tried to attack the camp in its peaceful respite, Snow would be able to hear it coming from a distance.

The stillness around him quickly put Snow on edge. Having nothing to do and not a soul to speak to always made him uneasy. This prompted him to take advantage of the opportunity to speak to Serah. This was, after all, one of the rare moments he'd have alone with his fiancee. It took several attempts at various pockets to find his prize: Serah's tear. He held it skyward, centering the crystallized saltwater against one of the few remaining stars in the sky. "You out there, Serah?" He whispered, tilting the tear to the left and right as he did so. Of course there was no audible response, but he didn't need one. He knew Serah could hear him. That's all that really mattered.

"You should see this place, Serah! It's a living hell. I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've almost been killed since we arrived yesterday!" A stupid grin blossomed across his face. "It's not all bad, though. I never would have imagined a place like this could exist. It's so different from Cocoon…it's wild, untamed, and so real! It's beautiful, in its own way, I guess…" he chuckled throatily. "Listen to me, sounding like a sap…"

A few yards away Hope shifted in his sleep. Snow paused, waiting to see if the boy would wake, but the slack-jawed form his mouth had adopted and the snore that escaped from Hope told Snow he'd be out for awhile yet.

Snow frowned slightly and continued on inwardly. _You know, Serah,_ he thought, lifting his gaze upwards again and squinting against the lightening sky, _Sis acts really different around that kid, like a mom or something._

Flashes of Nora, Hope's true mother, raced through his mind. In retaliation Snow's eyes snapped shut, damming the tears that always threatened to well at the memory. _It's my fault that Sis has to be his mother. She's so stressed already and now she's got to constantly worry about keeping Hope safe._ A massive fist met the earth beneath Snow. _That's supposed to be _my_ job! Nora asked me to do protect Hope—but Lightning's doing it instead! I can't keep you safe, I can't keep my promise to Nora, and Lightning's suffering because of it._ A familiar weight began to settle in his chest, forming a hard, heavy lump that pressed against his heart. How could he even begin to ask for forgiveness for what he'd done?

A spark erupted within him, connecting his previous thoughts and memories of the night before. Maybe…could that be why she was so upset last night?

He ran over the scene from the night before in his head, continually replaying it to see if maybe, just maybe, there had been some clue to Lightning's opponent that he had overlooked. Finally, Snow shook his head in defeat.

_just don't know anything anymore, Serah. We've come all this way and have no idea what to do next. I may not even be able to figure out what our Focus is. I just don't know how we can make it._

Eyes still closed, he brought the tear to his lips and then back down to his heart, wrapping his fingers into a meaningful embrace. _Dammit, Serah! I can't do anything! Everything's gone right to Hell since you left. I wish…I wish you were still here. I need you, Serah. I…_

Lightning stumbled through the underbrush then, shattering Snow's thoughts to pieces as he hurriedly jammed the precious memento of Serah back into its hiding place. Before daring to speak to Lightning, he quickly wiped his forearm across his eyes to destroy the evidence that he had ever been remotely upset.

"Breakfast?" He managed to sound intrigued as Lightning approached. His face fell as she came nearer to view, her hands bloodied and carrying a gray hunk of something that looked strangely unappetizing.

"Yeah," she nodded, throwing the slab of grayish meat onto the make-shift stove that had gone unnoticed until now. "I 'm not touching the fruit here," she added after waking the fire from its slumber in the coals.

Snow grinned broadly at the comment. "Point taken. What is it, though?"

Lightning didn't respond right away. She worked the fire for a bit longer, readjusted where the oven sat over top, then looked at her hands. As she took in the blood and gore that remained, her eyebrows knit together in puzzlement. "I don't know."

Snow's eyes regarded the sizzling meat with a newfound distrust. For all he knew, that was dinosaur ass.

_If it weren't for the fact that those things look damn impossible to kill, I wouldn't put serving us dinosaur ass past the things Lightning was willing to do. Still, though…it could be munchkin._

Snow hesitated momentarily. It probably _was_ munchkin. He ripped his eyes away from the meat to ask Lightning just that but halted his question when he was met by Lightning's inquisitive gaze. Narrow eyes contrasted a rounded, open mouth: there was definitely something on her mind. Words were dancing on her tongue, tickling her lips and demanded to be spoken. Lightning's will would never succumb to such things, however, and Snow had been around her enough to know.

Still. It was worth a shot. "What?" He grinned lopsidedly.

Lightning's mouth snapped shut and was replaced with a resolute line. "You don't want to eat it, then don't."

"I just want to know what it is!" Snow shot back, his words chasing Lightning's form as she marched towards a tiny collection of water at the back of the camp. She scrubbed her hands for a good few minutes before returning to the fire to care for the sizzling meat.

"Mmm, something smells good!"

Hope had, apparently, woken up during Lightning's excessive hand washing session and was now mimicking Snow's stretching routine. He left his bed (which, Snow noticed, lacked Lightning's cape) and took a spot between Lightning and Snow, hugging closer to the former, and observed the meat that had been the topic of debate.

"Yes! No more Pulse fruit!" he cheered. "Did you catch it, Light?"

Lightning ruffled Hope's hair affectionately before casting Snow a why-can't-you-act-more-like-Hope expression. "Sure did," she nodded. As an afterthought, she told Hope he could have the first cut. Of course Hope readily accepted the offer.

Sazh had awoken by this point as well. He didn't bother with any hellos—he was everything but a morning person—and instead said he'd be hitting the showers. Hope jogged alongside Sazh to join him and Snow, after being on the receiving end of several irritated tuts, decided rather quickly that he, too, wanted to freshen up.

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The three men stood in the center of a wide and relatively shallow river. At its deepest, where they were currently, the pure water only managed to lap against Hope's shoulders.

The older two men were complaining about the hard rocks they had used as pillows the night before while Hope was completely preoccupied by something in the distance.

"Why do the girls get to use all the soft shit for a pillow?" Sazh demanded, striking the water for good measure. "I mean, we're a team, right? Shouldn't we be, I don't know, _sharing_?"

"Vanille and Fang use their fur as pillows," Hope offered, turning his attention back to the conversation.

"They wear enough of it to share between the six of us," Sazh huffed, dipping his head into the water, much to the dislike of the chocobo chick, who had fled to the safety of Snow's already-washed mop of hair. "I mean, my neck has about seventeen different knots in it thanks to these damn rocks, and they get their beauty sleep on nice, fluffy little pillows! Let's see how they like using a rock as a damn pillow for a change!"

Definitely not a morning person.

"I'm sure Lightning could make you one," Snow suggested, hardly paying attention to Sazh's rant as he gently shoved Hope backwards in the water, earning a grin from the youngster. "She'd gladly kill something and skin it for you."

_Like our breakfast._

Sazh laughed bitterly at this. "That soldier's more likely to shoot bolts up my ass," he grunted, watching Hope's vain attempts to make a connecting swing against Snow, who had done nothing more than lazily block the hits. "But you could have given me your damn coat last night to use as a pillow. Soldier Girl had the fire—she didn't need all that extra material! I was cold, too!"

Hope nearly toppled over face-first into the water. "You gave Light your coat?" he inquired.

"I guess I didn't realize it was a crime," Snow shrugged, offering his hand to the chick atop his head. The bird accepted the invitation and hopped down, nuzzling the wall of fingers that sheltered it from the water below. "Besides, she looked cold." He scratched his neck with a free hand. "You were awake, Sazh?"

"Damn pillow. Couldn't sleep."

Hope was watching Snow with great uncertainty. Snow returned the gaze with his own equally confused stare. "What's eating you, kid?"

Hope made no attempt to smile. "Nothing," he shrugged, taking another jab at Snow. This one truly caught him by surprise; hitting him squarely in the chest and sending a greatly-exaggerating giant staggering backwards towards the bank. It was a good thing he did, too—his new proximity to land made him acutely aware of the fiends inching close, and one of the killer flowers was in the lead.

Snow tossed the chocobo back towards Sazh. It immediately flew towards the unmistakable afro and buried itself deep within its depths. "Time to go!" Snow called, not daring to take his eyes off the nearing beasts. Those things were fast, and one slip-up could cost them dearly.

Sazh released the most artfully crafted string of curses Snow had ever been witness to. At the end of it all, he shouted, "It's gonna be a damn cold retreat. A cold, breezy, embarrassing retreat."

Hope practically ran to the shore and donned his clothing within a flash. "Let's fight! What are we waiting for?"

Snow nodded towards the still-naked Sazh in a foot of water, to Snow's own pile of clothes, and the ever nearing horde. "The girls would never let us live this one down," Snow said, in all seriousness. "And besides, we're no match against all those guys. We'll play hero another day."

Sazh barely had time to collect his pants before the three took off on a dead run back to camp, eagerly pursued by the largest motley crew of fiends Snow had yet seen on Pulse.

They arrived on the outskirts before Sazh and Snow were able to clothe themselves fully, having now escaped from their hunters. All three, with Snow leading the chorus, vowed that they'd blow the planet to hell just to kill the voyeuristic flower alone. Sazh grabbed Hope, who had begun to venture into camp, and hissed that if he dared tell a soul it would be him running naked from the fiends next time.

In front of Lightning and Vanille.

Sazh's somber attitude was the only indication of seriousness that Hope needed. He nodded quickly and said that he'd never mention a retreat to Lightning anyway, but he still couldn't escape Sazh's grasp until he swore an oath never to mention it again. Once Hope agreed to the terms and conditions he was released.

Snow chuckled at the younger boy's retreating form. "Awful harsh, man."

Sazh, however, had burst into fits of laughter. "Did you see the look on that boy's face? I scared the fire out of him!" his laugh boomed throughout the camp as they approached Lightning, who was still by the fire and had been joined already by Hope. "Could you imagine how mortified Hope would be if he was runnin' naked in front of Lightning?"

Snow's smile faltered slightly. Hope _was_ really attached to Lightning. Something as embarrassing as retreating in the nude would kill the kid.

Hope's attachment to Lightning was made even more evident as Snow and Sazh took positions on opposing sides of the two. Lightning was smiling, actually _smiling_, as Hope related something back to her. The wicked dance in her eyes as Snow watched on spoke volumes.

"What did I tell you, boy?" Sazh thundered as he chased Hope around camp. Hope cackled devilishly as he skillfully evaded each of Sazh's attempts to take Hope down. Both ran considerably faster as Lightning wondered aloud whether or not the flower was trying to pollinate with them. "Damn, lying fool!" Sazh bellowed, giving up on his chase to rest against a nearby tree. Hope, too, came to a stop a considerable distance from both Snow and Sazh.

"You'll pay for that, Hope!" Snow vowed with a grin, cracking his knuckles ominously. "Remember the Oath!" Snow felt a tinge of satisfaction flood through him when he noticed Hope's face pale.

By this point in time Vanille and Fang had both stirred from their slumber, not exactly thrilled that the rambunctious behavior of the men had caused their wakening.

"So much for chivalry!" Fang jeered, making a rather rude Pulsian gesture towards Snow before storming off to the spring. Vanille, after casting a curious, questioning glance towards the remaining four, took her cue and ran after Fang, asking what chivalry had to do with anything.

Lightning, shaking her head in amusement, bent down to check if the now-browned meat was near finished yet.

Snow left Hope and Sazh to their own battle, personally not really minding if the story was leaked. It was a damn funny one, but by the way Sazh was throwing vengeful glares in Hope's direction, Sazh thought anything but.

He kneeled by Lightning's side and observed the meat once again. "So…did you remember what it is yet?"

"Why do you care? Even Hope doesn't mind," she scowled. "Food is food."

Snow threw up his hands in exasperation. "Don't tell me you're offended because I questioned your cut of meat?" Snow paused. "Besides," he added, his smile falling slightly, "that kid would do anything to please you. He really admires you."

Lightning sighed, but otherwise wholly ignored Snow.

"I'm serious," Snow pushed on, knowing he would soon be treading on dangerous ground. Lightning didn't like to be reminded of her soft side; that was common knowledge. Lowering his voice, he proceeded to say, "Every chance he gets he's always standing by you, or as close to you as he can manage. On the _Palamecia_ the other day, he said he wanted to fight like you so he could protect you. We made him swear that he wouldn't tell you about that…that incident, but he forsake his oath just to get a laugh from you. The kid adores you, Sis." He saw Lightning visibly cringe at the use of her nickname, but the verbal onslaught that Snow had come to expect did not ensue. "And…and I think you adore him, too."

Cue the punch in the face…_now_.

Snow waited for her fist to connect, but there was no reason to. She merely sat there, an unreadable expression on her face as she stared blankly at the flames of the fire. What was she thinking?

"I saw you last night," Snow continued slowly, hardly believing his luck…or his own stupidity at daring to press on. "When Hope was having his nightmare. You ran over to him and—"

"I know, okay?" She snapped, pushing past him and the other two-who were now partakers in a ferocious battle where Sazh chased Hope while dodging a boomerang-to gather more firewood. Her voice was quiet, hardly audible, not wanting to invite any others into the conversation. "He reminds me of me when I was a kid. Exactly like me. I'm just trying to help him." She paused in both work and speech. "Scary thought," she said huskily before resuming her inspection of collectable wood.

"Why is that a scary thought?" Snow asked softly, kneeling down to gather an armful of heavier logs that she had set aside. He tried to catch a glimpse of Lightning's face, but her hair was an effective veil. It cascaded down from her crown in an iridescent waterfall, capturing the early morning rays of the sun and reflecting them back in all directions.

His frown deepened. "You did your best, Lightning."

"Sometimes, Snow, your best isn't good enough." At this she tucked champagne-tinted locks behind her ear and looked Snow evenly in the eyes. "Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you'll never be the hero." Her voice wasn't laced with tears. It wasn't reprimanding, bitter, angry—it wasn't really anything. It was matter-of-fact, nothing more…nothing less.

That bothered Snow more than anything. He would rather have had her scream, cry bitterly, or beat his face black and blue until unconsciousness overtook him. Anything would have been better than acting as if this absurd twisting of reality that stemmed from her own guilt was an undeniable truth.

"I'm not a mom, Snow. I'm a soldier. I was trained to kill, not nurture. I was forced to be Serah's mother, to protect her, and look where that effort got her." The tinder she had found thus far lay momentarily forgotten in her hands. "Now Hope is in the same boat we were: be the soldier or be…" Lightning fell back to sit on still-moist ground, carelessly tossing the components for the fire aside.

Snow paid heed to every word and action in his attempt to better understand the woman before him.

"I'm not a mom, Snow," she repeated. "I'm trying to teach Hope the lessons I learned the hard way, to steer him away from the path I had to take to survive…but the more I try to steer him away from my path, the more he follows it." A sigh escaped shapely lips, noiseless and buoyant in the crisp morning air. She wiped away invisible beads of sweat from her forehead, exasperated with herself. "I'm talking like an idiot," she muttered.

"He's becoming you because you're his hero," Snow said gently, daring to lay a comforting hand on her slight shoulder. _Her skin prevails_, he thought suddenly, but he didn't have time to reprimand himself just then. "And Serah…she…"

_Help me find the words, Serah._

Lightning stood before Serah could answer Snow's prayers. Immediately she placed a hand in the same location Snow had touched and winced, as if she had been burned. It was almost imperceptible, but Snow swore he heard Lightning whisper her sister's name, almost pleadingly. Lightning leaned down, still ignoring Snow, and gathered the sticks and logs she had placed aside earlier until she had collected a heaping armful. "None of this matters," she mumbled, almost to herself. A transformation reinstated the soldier that they all came to expect her to be as she stood erect and proud, her chin high. Only one thing betrayed her resolve: her eyes darted in every direction, carefully avoiding Snow's bewildered stare. "If we don't get moving ahead to find our focus, we'll be Cie'th. That's what we should be concentrating on. Not this."

Snow stood as well with his own armful of wood, his mouth resembling a fish's gaping maw as he tried to search for the words to say. He had been dismissed, but that didn't mean he was finished. The reappearance of Hope and Sazh nearby, both muddied, reemphasized the finality of their conversation. He felt the frustration welling within him as he fell into step behind Lightning, who had been joined by an eager-for-breakfast Hope. The two talked animatedly in front of him—or, rather, Hope was further explaining the spring ordeal in greater detail.

"…and then-get this, Light-the flower was chasing Sazh. He turned about four shades of red-four!- and started swearing…"

Snow watched as Lightning's face lifted into the tiniest of smiles as Hope went into retelling the tale with great enthusiasm and Sazh, from a distance behind them, began hollering at Hope for even bringing it up.

_She always acts so damn different around the kid!_

Despite Snow's attempts to make Lightning smile, the greatest he ever earned was the most insignificant of smirks or a roll of the eyes. Not once in his memory of knowing Lightning had she ever expressed happiness, no matter how minor its form, in the company of both Serah and Snow. Yet along comes Hope, Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows himself, and within a few short weeks he can crack the barrier that Snow had been trying to demolish for...how long now?

Or why could Hope get away with calling her 'Light'? Snow would say 'Hey, Sis!' and be beaten down by a barrage of words, and yet—

_That's not true,_ he thought abruptly, remembering their discussion earlier. _She didn't say a word when I called her 'Sis' earlier. She just…cringed._

"I can't wait for breakfast, Light. What did you catch?"

At that Lightning cast a dirty look over her shoulder towards Snow. "Wild dog."

Hope contemplated this for a moment. "I remember eating Cocoon's wild dog. It wasn't bad."

_Dammit! Even that makes her smile! How can he do that, just hop over after she has as close to a breakdown as Lightning will ever get and make all her troubles float away? I try to talk to her about it and she gets pissed off and clams up. Hope just tells a story and stormy skies fade back to blue._

...Why does this even matter?

"The mystery meat is a mystery no longer!" Snow teased, his grandiose entrance into the present earning a backwards glance from Lightning. She quirked a brow, probably wondering if the flower did more than just chase his naked-ass down during their misadventure. In fact, she even asked Hope that exact question.

_I hate always being right._

The chocobo chick flew over Snow's scalp and landed neatly on Hope's shoulder, chirping excitedly for no apparent reason. "Oh, he's probably hungry. Mind if I go get some fruit for it to eat, Light? I'll get some for the rest of us, too," he beamed brightly.

Lightning nodded as she removed the meat from the fire, giving him yet another small smile of her own.

Hope took his leave immediately after eating the surprisingly tasty meal, the chocobo chick following behind. He left a thoroughly agitated Snow in his wake.


	4. Lost Hope

**Si's Note: **As much as I'd love to own certain characters, I still don't own anything remotely related to FFXIII. Damnitall.  
As always, let me know where I should make improvements or just leave a review! I love hearing from those who read this story!

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Snow, Lightning, and Sazh were returning to camp after scouting the path that led south from their base. It had been a longer journey than they had intended, but neither Snow nor Lightning wanted to linger in camp without knowing what lay beyond their borders. So the three agreed to chart it out, and it had been a fiend-ridden experience.

Lightning was walking between the two men. Sazh was talking elatedly about the abandoned machinery they had found, describing the various effects each piece could have and how it could enhance their own equipment. Of course, for the first ten minutes Lightning listened with great interest, but once the sneaking suspicion that she had heard this lecture before was verified she quickly lost what enthusiasm she carried for the subject.

Sazh rattled on about ways to use a pipe to jimmy-rig a particle accelerator together, or how it could be melted to form a supporting beam for…_something_. Snow, having been conveniently incapacitated when the discussion occurred the first time, seemed entirely engrossed by the idea that a pipe could have such a wide variety of uses. To make matters worse, he continued to egg Sazh on to explain, to the very last detail, how a particle accelerator worked in the first place.

_Honestly, of all the men to be stuck with, it had to be him?_

Lightning cast Snow a sideways glance that, if he had seen it, would have screamed for him to stop speaking. But that would have been too easy.

No, instead he was fixated on Sazh, nodding his head now and again at various points of Sazh's explanation, and his complete inability to notice that _she_ was trying to catch _his_ attention irked Lightning beyond belief.

_Only because I'm used to being in charge in the Corps.,_ she reassured herself, turning her attention forward once more as the prickling of guilt began to seep in. _That's all._

They rounded a curve in the path to be met by Vanille and Fang, the former waving excitedly at their return. "You're back!" she squealed.

"Yeah, my feet are killing me…" Sazh began to complain, but only Vanille was paying attention.

"Any luck?" Fang queried from her perch on some abandoned machinery, hardly bothering to look back to the trio.

"No sign of anyone else," Lightning responded, hands on her hips and a slight frown on her face. "But we did find plenty of bloodthirsty wildlife and crumbling ruins."

Beside her Snow mumbled something about flowers and the corners of Lightning's mouth twitched upwards. She certainly didn't forget to bring _that_ up once or nine times during their trek.

"Long day?" Vanille placed a hand on Sazh's shoulder as he joined her on the metal ruins. He groaned slightly in affirmation.

Snow strode forward now, rubbing the back of his neck as he usually did when mentioning something he wasn't thrilled about. "Well guys, we've run out of places to search around here." He threw a few glances around the camp, one of which, Lightning noticed, settled on her for a fraction of a second before moving on. "Where's Hope?"

"He's off with the chocobo," Fang jerked a finger to her side, "getting supplies—hello!"

The chocobo darted past her, kwehing shrilly as it dashed between their heads. Sazh held out his hands as a landing pad and the chocobo chick readily settled into the familiar palms of its master. "You all by yourself?" Sazh cocked his head to his side, an action that the chocobo mimicked before releasing yet another high-pitched squeal. It took off again, hopped once on Vanille's head, then settled between the two Pulsian women, chirping madly all the while.

"Huh?" Vanille leaned closer to the bird and it noticed her sudden attention. It whirled around and charged into the outstretched palms of Vanille, who quickly held the bird at eyelevel to appraise it. Its incessant chirps began again.

Lightning firmly gripped her gunblade as soon as she saw Vanille's eyebrows dart up. "His brand!" The others gasped and flew out of their seats, clamoring to find their equipment.

"We've got to find him!" Snow turned and charged down the path with Lightning right at his side. The others, still trying to find their belongings, were left in the dust.

"Snow," Lightning called, trying to subdue the panic that was quickly rising within her. "The others…"

"I'm not waiting!" Snow shouted between massive gulps for air. Lightning was slightly taken aback.

"I'm not either, Snow," she responded, her long, lean legs pushing her slightly ahead of the surprisingly quick Snow. Silence settled between them as they sprinted down the narrow trail, her arms pumping viciously at her side. Neither she nor Snow had ever ran this quickly, but fear of what would await them once they found Hope spurred them on more than any native creature ever could.

Time began to blur as quickly as the surrounding landscape, and though she knew only a short distance had been traversed it had seemed as if an eternity had crept by. Apprehension twisted suddenly into aggression as a monster of a flan impeded their progress forward.

Snow flanked her right side, hugging tightly against her in the narrow passage. A horrible snarl billowed from the bowels of hell itself as Snow lunged towards the flan and drove both his fists inside its yellow depths. Its jelly-like body easily absorbed the hit and his fists—Snow should have known better, but worry had clouded his mind and judgment. Another roar, this time one of frustration, proceeded as he tried to yank his arms free from the gelatinous fiend. Lightning rolled beneath the sticky ooze that was fashioned into an arm and recovered quickly on her feet, lowering her head and running towards Snow. Catching him by the waist, she utilized her momentum to swing to the opposing side of Snow's body, throwing both away from the fiend and to the ground. They both crashed against the earth, Snow lying sideways across Lightning.

"Move!" Lightning commanded, shoving Snow off of her, forcing that despicable fluttering in her stomach away as quickly as it was brought on. Her hands, gripping the hilt of her blade firmly, glowed bright red as she used her l'Cie talents to call forth fire. The heat quickly spread down the conductive metal of her blade until flames erupted from the metal and licked the air. Lightning surged towards the monstrosity and swung the sword high above her, bringing it down with unparalleled force. The beast was cleaved in two, following the heated path the sword had carved through it. Both halves flopped helplessly towards their respective sides.

By this point Sazh, Vanille, and Fang had caught up but Lightning didn't care to share any words with them. She tapped Snow's shoulders once, pointed in the direction they needed to go and bolted off again.

Another excruciating sprint. As they rounded a bend in the path, Lightning caught a glimpse of Snow's face and noticed how closely it mirrored her own. Concern and a deep sense of self-loathing encompassed normally passive features, and she wondered if she were as readable as he.

She looked forward once again, pressed onward by her own jumbled thoughts. _I have to find Hope. I have to. He better be okay. I can't believe I let him wander on his own. What was I thinking? Snow's probably beating himself up. Hope, please be okay. We need you, Hope._

"He'll be okay," Snow reassured, speaking mostly for himself. "He's got to be."

Lightning disagreed but didn't dare voice her concerns. Hope didn't have to be okay at all. Who said he did? He could be dead, for all they knew. It's not like the Fal'Cie particularly cared about his fate. Nor did the Pulse wildlife, for that matter. Being off by himself when his brand decided to wreak havoc on his body was as good as a death warrant. The fiends would get to him in no time.

Time passed by slowly, and each step drew them further from the remainder of the group. "We're on our own from here out," Snow panted, casting a glance in Lightning's direction. Their roles had reversed now.

"Is that supposed to matter?" She hissed, resting one hand on her gunblade as her speed increased. Her stance on the matter was evident. She barely had time to take in Snow's sweat-graced, mildly surprised and horribly anxious countenance as she raced past.

She thought she was at least two dozen paces ahead of Snow when, to her astonishment, he bounded up beside her, legs moving furiously to keep up with her long gait. His teeth were clenched tightly, a muscle in his jaw was throbbing, sweat dripped from him…but he never took his eyes away from the path in front of him.

Another monster met them at the next corner. Snow happened upon the canine first, dropping to one knee as the wild dog pounced with its teeth bared. Snow ducked his head well below the oncoming animal, waiting until the rabid dog was safely past before spinning on the balls of his feet, still crouching, and grabbing the dog's hind legs. Lightning barely had time to take the scene in: when she happened upon the struggle the beast had already lunged forward, probably sensing her approach, and its teeth were mere inches from her throat. She was startled and stopped short when the dog snapped its jaws on thin air where her neck would have been had she continued moving forward. Snow yanked on its legs and pulled it to the ground where Lightning, now recovered from her momentary shock, withdrew her gun from its holster and finished the beast off in a single shot.

Snow darted to Lightning's side, his pupils barely larger than pinpoints. "You okay?" he asked, his voice slightly shaky as he tried to peer beneath Lightning's fringe to see her face, his hand gripping her arm. "I thought for a second…"

Lightning ripped her arm from Snow's grasp, irritated with him for sending those horrible shockwaves through her at a time like this. "It's not me you need to worry about," she snapped before resuming their grueling pace.

Several more similarly scripted battles followed but there was still no sign of Hope. Lightning was about to succumb to her despair and panic, but one glance towards the equally concerned Snow leveled her head to a point where she could concentrate once again. She could not, _would_ not, lose her head in front of anyone, especially Snow.

He would never let her forget it.

They suddenly burst forth from the confining passageway they had been traveling for what seemed like hours. Bright sunlight glared down upon them with a vengeance; Lightning had to shield her eyes before even attempting to take in her surroundings. Snow was rumbling next to her, and if they didn't find Hope soon she was sure he'd—

"Hope!" Snow cried, sprinting forward to a small stream.

Lightning followed Snow and happened upon Hope's prone body laying face-down on the rocks near the edge of the water. She kneeled down, turning him face-up on the river stones as a horrible sense of dread began to course through Lightning. Her eyes narrowed as she took in every detail of his body, searching for some clue about what had happened to Hope.

"Lightning? Is he…?"

Lightning didn't respond right away. She pulled down Hope's collar, reaching desperately to find his pulse. Her fingers settled over the tender skin of his neck and she had to take a few deep breaths to stop her fingers from shaking. Once she was calm enough she was able to feel a slow, steady heartbeat emanating from him.

She sighed, relaxing visibly as she nearly fell backwards into the cool creek bed. Rubbing the sudden rush of mental and physical exhaustion away from her face she nodded towards Snow. "He's okay, just unconscious." Why, though? No one else ever fell unconscious when their brands…

Snow's eyes met Lightning's and dared not look away, perhaps worried that she chose now to play her first horrible practical joke on him. She hadn't realized he had been holding his breath until he broke eye contact and felt Hope's pulse for himself, just to be sure. When he, too, felt the familiar thrumming of a heartbeat, he released the air he had retained within his lungs and slumped backwards.

"I thought we would lose him, Sis," Snow murmured, watching Lightning closely once she found enough energy to examine him again. She was on her knees, prodding different sections of Hope's body when the others finally caught up with them. Their worry over Hope's condition took away any chance Lightning had to respond to Snow's admission, though she had still visibly cringed when he used his favorite nickname of hers.

Vanille nearly burst into tears at the sight of Hope, while Sazh and Fang hovered overhead, each asking Lightning a thousand questions, half of which she didn't bother responding to (since she didn't know the answers, either).

Snow pushed through the small crowd and scooped Hope into burly, protective arms. He looked to Lightning, a dark storm cloud threatening his normal hazy blue eyes. "Lead the way."

All questions ceased as Lightning joined Snow's side once again, this time with Hope in tow, and lead the way back to camp.

_Please, Hope…be okay.  
_

* * *

Vanille had yet to leave Hope's side. Lightning had observed Vanille sit beside him for at least an hour, holding Hope's hand and gently brushing stray strands of fine, silken hair from his boyish face as she whispered reassuring words to him. Lightning had remained silent as she watched on—they all had been, for the most part, as they awaited Hope's revival. Yet hours had dragged by without Hope so much as stirring.

It was Fang's turn to shift now. Lightning traced the movements of the elder Pulse woman, watching as she lightly placed a comforting hand on Vanille's shoulder. She seemed unsure of her actions, perhaps not really knowing what to do to help her friend in her grief, but still trying nonetheless. The two females stood there and watched Hope's chest rise and fall gently, both perhaps praying for a miracle.

Now Sazh. He had been pacing back and forth, mumbling incoherently to his feathery pet, but now he threw himself against the half-rotten log near Hope's resting spot. Lightning's ears pricked at the sound of Sazh's voice, the first understandable words that anyone had spoken since their return to camp. "I just don't know, Chocobo…" he said before his words trailed off into nothingness and silence scurried to the fore once more.

Silence. Eerie, suffocating, empty silence. None needed to question its existence, since all understood why it was present to begin with. All worried that Hope would fade into lifelessness, since his reason for being unconscious was still unknown. They would be lost without him. Despite his hardships and shaky beginnings, they now came to rely upon his bright optimism to motivate the l'Cie into action. Without him, they would be lost. Without Hope, they would be Cie'th.

Lightning's eyes lingered on the pale, prostrate young man before her and felt the emotion that she had dammed ages ago to ensure her own survival threaten to surge over its barriers. Even now she continued to try and fend it off, despite the fact that she was slowly beginning to understand that love was a necessary factor to complete their make-shift Focus.

_In training we were always told that attachments like love were detrimental to the mission. Such entanglements wouldn't allow us to make the necessary and proper decisions, or it would add unneeded stress to the soldiers making choices for the betterment of society. It was a strong factor, a force to be reckoned with. It made the wisest of men into illogical fools. In battle, fools wound up dead. I had to live to protect Serah. I couldn't afford to make any mistakes._

Her gaze refused to budge from Hope. _I've come to rely on these people. We're…family, almost. The attachments I have for them are what keep me going. Without them, without Hope and Snow and the others…I would have been lost a long time ago._

But love? She took in the others at camp. Love had been present in her life before. It wasn't exactly something that could just disappear. Her parents had been loved by Lightning once, long ago, but they died when she was still at a tender age that it was getting more and more difficult to remember her parents' faces, much less how she felt towards them. She had loved Serah, but it was not a love most people would recognize. She did everything in her power to make sure Serah was always safe and comfortable, but very rarely did Lightning shower affection on the young girl. She wanted to make sure Serah could live the life Lightning never could, but now…but now Serah was a l'Cie. She, too, was ripped from Lightning. To replace her, Lightning was given Snow, Hope, Sazh, Fang, and Vanille.

Did she love them, too?

_They're useful_, she shrugged. _Fang is an amazing fighter. Sazh is great with machines. Vanille is the best healer I've ever seen. Hope…_

Her brows were knotted together, confused by the onslaught of words that followed the boy's name. _Quiet. Kind. Caring. Lovable. Aims to please. Bright. Deep. Mature._ She paused, hardly daring to even think it.

_Hope…my second chance to make things right._

She damned the heaviness in her chest, swearing that she'd never have another sentimental thought in her life as she pushed off of the ruins she had been leaning against. Lightning had grown tired of the quiet, of the reminiscing and the thinking. She needed to distract herself with something…anything, really.

Another sweep of the camp reminded her that Snow had not been present during her reflections. He had mentioned something much earlier about visiting the spring. Lightning decided to join him just then. Three sets of eyes watched her retreat into the heavy brush on the outskirts of the clearing.

She fought her way through the thick grasses, wondering how Snow and Sazh ever managed their naked retreat this morning. Various ideas of what their withdraw must have been like floated through her head until she finally emerged from the brush about twenty feet from the spring. A quick inspection of the area assisted her in finding her target, Snow, sitting in contemplation at the water's edge with his coat cast aside. He had yet to notice her presence.

Lightning, appreciative of the serene silence over the ominous one in camp, didn't bother to disturb the peace with the announcement of her arrival. Instead she positioned herself directly to Snow's left, by his branded arm. She ignored his questioning expression and instead looked out towards the gently rippled water, admiring the way the surface reflected the sky above.

Neither said anything, though Lightning remained quite aware of Snow's gaze upon her. Reeds swayed gently in the wind to either side of them, whispering quietly as it passed through the grasses and disturbed the spring before swirling back into the sky, which had become a hazy pink. Daylight had come and gone unnoticed.

In her peripheral vision, Lighting noticed Snow finally turn his gaze to take in the same beautiful scene that she had witnessed. His eyes closed and he slowly inhaled the scent of nature.

"You know, for how peaceful it is…you'd never guess this place was a deathtrap."

Lightning tugged at the shorter grasses beneath her. "Yeah," she nodded, yanking out a handful as her thoughts drifted back to Hope.

Snow ran a hand through his hair, which was without its typical cap. He sighed as golden strands fell unsystematically in every direction, some blocking the sight of his icy blues while others stubbornly reached skywards, reminding Lightning of the chocobos they had seen on Pulse when they first landed. His strong, chiseled features were furrowed in thoughtful melancholy.

Something was bothering him. He was horrible at hiding it.

Snow's head dropped between his knees. "I'm not doing very good, am I?" He asked hesitantly.

Despite having no idea what he referred to, Lightning shook her head. "Nope."

"Thanks for the honesty," he smiled haphazardly before heaving yet another sigh that tugged at the seams of his ever-tightening shirt.

_Love? Doubtful. Attraction, on the other hand…_

Lightning, startled by the sudden appearance of the treacherous thoughts, shook her head more vigorously this time.

"I get it, I get it," Snow mumbled, pulling out Serah's tear. Lightning refused the temptation to look away, forcing herself to catalogue the feelings of guilt and frustration within her so she wouldn't soon forget them.

"I'd promise Nora I'd keep Hope safe," Snow said softly, tossing the tear in the air before catching it and repeating. "I promised Serah I'd keep her safe—promised you I'd keep her safe. I swore I'd save Cocoon and complete our Focus. So far I'm zero: four."

"Five," Lightning corrected.

"Five," he repeated, an embarrassed smile forming. "Right."

The gentle lapping of water replaced their conversation for some time. "You haven't broken any promises, Snow. Not yet, anyway," Lightning said, drawing her knees closer to her chest as a stronger, chillier gust of wind tore through.

Snow was visibly surprised by her admission, and Lightning couldn't blame him. Normally she would never have missed an opportunity to blame Snow for all the things he screwed up on, but the events of today made Lightning realize that sometimes things happen that were beyond their control.

"Serah's a crystal; not exactly dead," she ticked this off on her finger. "Our focus…facts have changed since we first set out. We've had to make on-the-go decisions based on the information that we had at the time, and as we found out something new we had to adapt our way of thinking and how we approached our Focus…like changing our paradigms in battle," she added, knowing the relation to a fight would help him comprehend the concept. "And Hope…" she looked to the water again to ease the pang in her heart. "We still have Hope."

Snow nodded in understanding, pocketing the tear to turn his attention instead on Lightning. At first she refused to give in to the scrutiny of his gaze, but his persistence paid off. When she turned to face him she was met with that same soft look he had given her at Hope's house.

"How do you do it, Sis?" He said, finally breaking his stare by looking down. She winced at the name, but he didn't see it: he was staring at the ground, his cheeks slightly pink.

_Was he blushing? Why?_

…Oh, shut up already.

"Always have a target," she shrugged. Snow rolled his eyes. "No, listen to me, Snow. My parents died-" at this his attention snapped back to Lightning and the intense interest he now viewed her with was unsettling. "—and left me to care for Serah. I didn't know what I was doing. I was barely old enough to care for myself, and all of a sudden I have to watch over my sister?" She shook her head slightly. "The only thing that kept me going was knowing I had to protect her. That was my target, my mission. As long as I had that, as long as I had Serah to protect, I could push on."

Snow considered Lightning thoughtfully now. "What happens when your target is gone? Disappears? Turns to crystal? What then, Light?"

_'Light'? Since when did he refer to me as 'Light'?_

He realized his error seconds later. "Er, sorry…Lightning."

She waved him off. "Light, if you want. I don't mind."

_Anything's better than Sis._

But why do I hate 'Sis' so much? He is going to be my brother-in-law, after all…

Once again that aggravation welled within her, rearing its fiery head.

_This needs to stop. It's not practical. It's not right!_

"…Light? What happens afterwards?"

Lightning bowed her head, ashamed of herself and truly unsure of what her response would be. Snow must have sensed her darkening mood, as he laid a warm, friendly hand on her shoulder, much like he had in the morning. To make Lightning feel even worse, he smiled gently at her.

"It's okay. We don't need to know. Heroes barge headfirst into any situation, right? We don't need to think this through."

The terrible blaze of jealous frustration settled within her and was replaced by a new, creeping heat that originated where Snow's hand was now resting. She sensed this fresh, foreign delight within her, much as she had earlier, and bolted up without a second thought.

_Serah._

Heroes don't get excited at the innocent touch of her sister's fiancée, especially when there's a young kid who may never wake up just a few hundred feet away.

"Sometimes, Snow…"

_We can't always be the hero._

"Sometimes, Snow…we just have to take things one day at a time." She offered a helping hand up to Snow, who gratefully accepted the offer. "Come on. Hope will be waiting for his hero."

Snow grinned widely. "Then you best go run along. You'll be the first thing he pines for."

She didn't bother holding back. He deserved it.

Lightning returned to camp-to Hope-with stinging knuckles, feeling much better about her wandering thoughts earlier.

Her heart nearly somersaulted as she emerged from the cluster of grasses with Snow stumbling not far behind, rubbing his aching jaw.

Hope was stirring in his sleep.

Their Hope wouldn't fade after all.


	5. Change of Heart

**Si's Note: **No. I don't own it. Don't even ask.  
- I owe Sakura Moon a huge thanks for this chapter. You have been wonderful to talk to, and your ideas for the story are marvelous!  
Anyway. Please enjoy this chapter and feel free to leave a review! I love hearing from you!

* * *

They were all gathered in a misshapen circle around Hope who, besides from his stirring about thirty minutes prior, had yet to move.

Snow was rubbing his face in exasperation. His body still ached from their mad hunt for Hope and their earlier retreat from the motley band of fiends. His jaw throbbed where Lightning had struck him (though he had no one to blame but himself for that). Exhaustion even consumed his mind after having been through a barrage of draining experiences and emotions within the course of a single day. Snow struggled to maintain some semblance of a calm exterior and keep everything together.

But how could he when their future appeared so bleak?

They were lost. Not physically lost, oh no—they knew right where they were on this damnable world—but rather they didn't know where to turn next for their focus. Even if they did know, the group of them would be unable to travel there, not without Hope. Lightning would likely murder the first person to even so much as hint at it, not that any of them seriously considered the option, anyway. Even carrying the boy was out of the question: they needed all the hands they could get in a fight, and someone carrying Hope meant the party was down to four, and the person watching over their favorite teenage boy would be responsible for far more than their own life.

No, they were stuck here without a clue. Without Hope.

Snow pushed himself up off the ground and away from the fire; his body begged him to reconsider the motion. "So this is how it ends?" he growled, aiming the question mostly at Lightning. She returned his question with a hard glare.

Sazh, who had occupied the spot directly to Snow's left, shook his head. "Just wait. Now how long has it been since we left Cocoon? Hm?" At first his body language suggested irritation, but as he spoke his head slowly bowed and his shoulder slumped under an invisible weight. "Not a single soul for miles around. Not a single clue about this whole l'Cie mess! What I'm saying is we did well getting this far."

Snow _tsked_ audibly, rubbing a hand over his face yet again. _This isn't how this is supposed to end. Serah, you told us to protect Cocoon. Now would be a good time to give us some sort of a hint!_

As if answering Snow's private supplications to Serah, Vanille left Hope's side for the first time that night. She sounded uncertain as she began. "But…we could go a little further."

Sazh lifted a brow in anticipation. "Meaning…?"

"There's still one place…"

Vanille's cryptic speech was starting to get on Snow's nerves, but snapping at her wouldn't have done anyone any good. He took several deep breaths before deciding to question Vanille, but Fang jumped in the conversation first.

"Vanille…are you sure?" Fang's eyes were locked on her younger counterpart. Vanille nodded in assent.

Everyone, Snow still included, mulled over all plausible and extraneous meanings of Vanille and Fang's conversation as a silence followed their words. Snow absorbed the faces of all his non-Pulse teammates, his confidence slightly boosted when they all appeared to be just as confused as he.

All except for Lightning, that is. Her mind was always eleven paces ahead of the others. "You know," she said slowly, each word forming carefully on her lips, "if we don't find anything this time, we won't get another chance."

Snow became very aware of his brand then, perceiving the gleaming red eye in the center of his forearm with a newfound wariness. This was certainly no time for mistakes. But again, even if they knew where to go…

"Oerba." Snow jerked his head towards Hope at the sound of his voice, relief flooding over him in massive waves. "The place where it all began." Vanille was already clambering over to Hope's side.

"Hope!" Snow could hardly contain himself any longer. _Hope was okay. He's not lost to us forever. I can still be able to protect him, still keep my promise!_

Snow watched Hope reach towards the stars, concentration plastered on his face. "The place where the Pulse fal'Cie lay dreaming. Vanille and Fang's home." Snow's heart plummeted from its height as Hope turned his arm to view his own mark of damnation with an even visage. He was too young to be dealing with such a burden.

_He's just a kid. He shouldn't have to be worrying about the ticking bomb on his arm. Why does he have to be so aware of his own mortality? That's not right._ A burning sensation that originated behind his eyes was blinked away as Hope continued.

"Just maybe…it will be the place we find the answers we're looking for."

How very like Hope to suddenly act like Lightning. No matter how badly he was hurt, he still tried to keep his thoughts on the mission and what to do next.

Fang placed her hands on her hips, voicing the one thought that had plagued Snow's mind earlier. "Yeah, right. If we can get there."

Hope blinked furiously a few times, Snow noticed, and he refused to face the group. "Go ahead without me," said Hope, his voice thrown to the stars.

Vanille grabbed Hope's hand and pulled him into a sitting position, her own eyes very close to watering. "We can't just leave you!"

Hope stood unsteadily, a sickeningly false smile planted on his lips. "I'll be fine," he reassured Vanille before addressing the others. "You've all taught me so much. Showed me how to fight—"

He wavered slightly on his feet before stumbling forward. Snow reached out and easily caught him, pulling the young, discouraged boy into a tight embrace. "What did I tell you?" Snow reprimanded, but as he felt Hope's shoulders heave in a silent sob, his tone became as shaky as Hope's footing had been. "Leave the fighting to me." The corners of his eyes began to moisten more than he was comfortable with, so Snow lowered his head to avoid the stares of all the others.

"I'm scared," Hope choked, tearing Snow's heart apart a little more than it already had been.

If Snow were to be honest with Hope, he would have told the kid that he was terrified, too. He was fearful of their fates. What happens if they become Cie'th? Or crystals? Was it better to be a monster or a rock, neither or which quite human? One promised death while the other life at the fal'Cie's whim, like Cid had been. Was being a puppet any better of a fate?

But it was the thought of losing his new family, of losing Hope and Lightning and the rest, that truly frightened him the most.

_Is Hope thinking the same things? I can't even process these thoughts myself. How could he, only fourteen years old, possibly even begin to understand what he feels? Or maybe he felt weak and worried that he'd end up dying on the journey…?_

How can I let him know that everything would be okay?

Lightning chose to inform Hope instead. She strode forward, placing a firm, soothing hand on Hope's arm. That same concern that Snow had seen her carry the night before when Hope had his nightmares was once again present, but it was quickly replaced by a smile.

And oh, what a glorious smile it was!

Lightning's face glowed with a gentleness that Snow was not accustomed to seeing on her, and indeed he had never seen anyone wear that countenance quite like Lightning. It was almost natural for her to seem so truly soft and loving; for her eyes to be a little more round and a little less lethal; for her lips to be drawn into something other than a straight, thin line. This new Lightning caused Snow's heart to back flip and soar within him.

But it wasn't just the new side of Lightning that sent him aflutter. As he looked between Lightning, her countenance a bright spot in the darkening night; to Hope's downcast, tear-stricken face, still hugging close to Snow, he realized then that this, _this_, is what a family is. They were picking up the broken pieces that Hope had left behind and, between Snow and Lightning, they were trying with every morsel of their being to make things right again. The two heroes of the group had put aside their petty differences to lift Hope back onto his feet…or try to, anyway.

_This is it. My own big, happy family._

And so, with this thought in mind, Snow couldn't help but observe with some sense of pride as Lightning threw her hardened demeanor in the wind and lowered herself to Hope's level, that radiant glow still present. "You're not gonna go through this ordeal alone, you know," she said softly, but Hope hadn't looked up. He was missing this moment.

Then, suddenly, Snow's stomach jerked violently and a vein in his temple threatened to explode when Lightning placed a gentle hand on Hope's face, tracing his jaw until she grasped Hope's chin and forced him to look upon her.

_What the hell…_

Snow both marveled at Lightning's blatant display of what he hoped was maternal affection and secretly envied Hope for being the recipient of such an act. Snow would have killed for—

_For what?_ He thought harshly, quickly dissolving the path his mind was beginning to tread down.

Hope reacted in an opposite way from what Snow expected. He writhed away from Lightning's touch, pain and distress contorting his face into a grimace. "But that's what scares me! I don't...I don't want to see you get hurt because of me!" His eyes were burning into Lightning's, sending a message that Snow didn't particularly care for. Hope covered the silent communication quickly with his arm, shedding his tears into the folds of his elbow. "It would be better for everyone if I just stayed behind."

Snow took a step back as Hope's brand began to burn a bright blue. A monstrously huge eidolon, by far the largest of any among the sextet, burst forth from the emanating light, solidifying yards away from where everyone now gathered. Snow barely had time to see it unfold itself and tower above the trees before being thrown back by the shockwave of energy that resulted from its summoning. Air fled from his lungs faster than Snow could replace it after having landed wrong. Sazh and Vanille, having been thrown back as well, were in equally difficult situations.

"Mention ordeals and look what comes along!" Fang shouted, spinning her staff in an entrancing dance to draw the moving fortress' attention away from the others.

Lightning had already drawn her blade but her eyes had never left Hope. "This is not an ordeal! This is a gift. Hope!" At his name, the boy turned. "This is the kind of power you have inside. And it's telling you not to give up. Trust me!"

"Oh, I get it. It's here to show you the way. Show you that you've got what it takes to get back on your feet and do this thing!" Fang added, flourishing her staff yet again.

Hope gaped at the eidolon, who watched the proceedings with intelligent, knowing eyes. "You mean, that came from me?" Hope stared a moment longer, slowly drawing his gaze back down to his brand. He nodded once, affirming something with his own mind, then ran in front of Lightning and Fang, the former asking if Hope was ready but was cut off when a huge explosion, summoned from Hope, erupted at the base of the fortress.

Snow saw Lightning grin—actually grin—before charging into the fray.

Snow struggled to sit upright so he could see the battle unfold but fell victim to a familiar pang in his side, sending Snow clutching for his ribs. That beast was no pushover, not if merely summoning it re-fractured a few ribs. However, knowing the extent of the damage already, Snow knew he could still sit and not be injured further, and so, using his desire to witness the fates of the three fighting as a motive, he pushed himself up quickly. He inhaled sharply when the movement jarred his fragile bones and sent pain wracking through his body.

Vanille crawled over to Snow. "Are you hurt? Poor thing," she whimpered, her hands already glowing green. A slight disappointment settled in Snow, who had privately wished it would have been Lightning to cure him again.

_After all, she did wonders the first time…and it came in handy_, he recalled, still able to feel the faintest thrumming of her l'Cie powers within him.

Vanille's hands pressed against his tender ribcage as Hope's fight unfurled a few dozen yards away. Snow watched the young boy's movements, ready to pounce in to rescue him at any given moment. So tense was he that Vanille even suggested that he should try to relax, as the cure would work better that way. Completely uncaring about how potent the cure was at this point, Snow ignored her advice and tensed still further as one punishing blow fell dangerously close to Hope, but thankfully Lightning had pulled the boy aside just in time.

Hope edged closely around Lightning's body to get a better aim on the eidolon. Once he reached the opposite side he had started on, Lightning charged forward and Fang leaped before Hope to act as a shield, now that Lightning had gone. Fang held up her steel-lined staff as another strike rained down on them, shielding both she and Hope from a majority of the blow. Lightning had dodged the entire attack by leaping up to the midsection of the eidolon, hacking away at everything she could before withdrawing to catch a breath, drawing close to Hope's side yet again. Hope had been throwing spell after spell in the fortress' direction, never once relenting in his assault. Fang, realizing that her taunts were only putting Hope in danger, took several steps sideways to help minimize the chance of Hope being hit, but the constant barrage of strikes put her on the defensive for the remainder of the battle. She always remained prepared to leap back before Hope, though, in case any stray missiles threatened to harm him.

The familiar warmth of a cure began to spread through Snow as Lightning soon realized the futility of her physical attacks and opted instead to use her considerable magic skills alongside Hope. She and Hope synchronized their spells, sending blizzards or mini tsunamis out simultaneously with little more than a word between them. They worked together well. Very well.

Snow grew tired of watching and struggled to his feet, ready to join the foray and fight side-by-side with Lightning and Hope, but Vanille stopped him by grabbing the tails of his coat and yanking him back to the ground. "Oh no you don't!" she scolded. "They'll handle it!"

An irritated snort was all that Snow could muster—Lightning and Hope had both coordinated a desperate attempt to heal Fang, who was about ready to topple over from exhaustion. Snow noticed, too, that Hope had found the time to reach out with a shaking hand and lay it upon a nasty gash Lightning had on her arm.

_He's just a kid with a crush on Sis_, he reminded himself, though he wasn't entirely sure why he needed to do so. Lightning was his sister-in-law…or would be, anyway. _It's probably because she looks so much like Serah. Yeah. That's definitely it. I just think he's hitting on my girl. Yeah._

Snow, still under the watchful eye of Vanille, wished he could have joined the fight, even as both Lightning and Hope reverted back to their offensive magic and grew nearer to bringing the fortress to its end.

"Where's Sazh?" Vanille asked suddenly, noting his absence. Snow tore his eyes from the mad scramble to the finish line to see Sazh laying spread-eagle a few feet away. "Sazh!" cried Vanille, falling over herself to get to the older man's side. Sazh sat up and mumbled something about him just taking a little nap.

A low rumble erupted from the battle and when Snow turned, Hope had already absorbed the power of the eidolon. Lightning was saying something to him now, her hand resting easily on Hope's back while she kneeled to be level with him.

_Why is he the only one that can experience that side of Lightning?_ Snow thought furiously. _Serah, even you said that Lightning was nothing but a soldier when she was with you. What's different with this kid? Why does she treat him so different than her own sister? You and I would have done anything to be treated like that. Hell, all I want is something other than a damn fist in my face, for a change!_

Snow was up on his feet, with some help from Vanille, still ruminating over Lightning's split personality. His thoughts were rudely interrupted by a sharp pain in his side—Vanille hadn't done near as good of a job as Lightning had. Sazh appeared on Snow's open side and asked if he was all right. A nod from Snow meant they could regroup with the others, who were now offering each other celebratory high-fives.

"That's some beast you tamed," Sazh puffed, respect coating his voice. "I'll tell you that."

Hope grinned, almost bashfully. "Yeah," he said breathlessly, admiring the brand on his arm with a new light. "I always thought the eidolons appeared to set us free through death. But now…I think maybe they're here to snap us out of our slumps."

Snow stepped forward after successfully pushing his petty jealousy over nothing aside. "Oh, like the one you were just in?" he cackled.

Hope rubbed the back of his neck, mirroring the action Snow so often performed. "I'll ask for help earlier next time," he replied, another pink tinge coloring his cheeks. It became even more vibrant when Vanille ran to Hope, pulling him into a tight hug.

_Ladies' man_. Snow felt a smile forming.

"I told you. On Gran Pulse, we're family." Vanille pulled away from her embrace to consider Hope with a stern eye. "You can moan all you like, but you're stuck with us!"

Sazh wagged a finger in the air. "You're never alone in Hell!" he laughed. Fang rounded on him and chastised the poor man for his comment. When Fang was finished Lightning cast her eyes towards each member of the party, settling first on Vanille, then Fang, Sazh, and Hope before finally meeting with Snow.

Though she had asked everyone else if they were decided on what to do, she had paused…no, hesitated when she stopped at Snow. Though her countenance betrayed nothing of her inner thoughts, her eyes glittered with something that Snow couldn't quite place even though recognition danced in the corner of his mind.

He was entranced, completely unable to break free from whatever spell she had cast. He could have convinced himself later that he was only trying to understand that glimmer in her eye but right then understanding was the furthest thing from what he desired. At that point all he could do, all he could think of was how utterly amazing the woman standing before him was. So similar in beauty to Serah, but her strength and mystique added an entirely new element to the mixture. It was a deadly combination, though, as it was slowly luring Snow in, daring him to forsake any and all promises right then and there to take the bait.

But her eyes…!

_Damn it all, I know that look!_

Only a few seconds had passed but already Hope was watching Snow carefully, distaste and annoyance prevalent on his young face.

"So, you decided then?" Lightning said casually, extinguishing the fire that had sparked in her eyes. Snow, too, snapped back into reality and nodded his assent, trying with all his might to hide his embarrassment by punching the air with great enthusiasm and mentioning something about making Serah proud.

The others all began to chatter about setting out in the morning as they began their short trek back to camp with Snow and Hope trailing behind.

"Good job, Hope—"

"What was that all about?" Hope demanded, stopping in his tracks but refusing to so much as take a glimpse at Snow.

Snow didn't really know what to say, so he held up his hands in defense as he, too, refrained from traveling further. "Whoa, whoa. What?" Lightning had reached camp already but discovered their absence. Snow saw her glance between the two of them and shrug as she began to recreate her fire.

Hope's arms were now folded across his chest, glowering frightfully at Snow. "She's not Serah." He punctuated each word slowly, emphasizing his point. "You can't look at Lightning like that."

Snow was truly taken aback. "What?" he said dumbly.

"She's not Serah! She…she might look like her, but she's not! You can't treat Lightning as if she is!"

_Why the hell is he so upset?_

"Listen, kid…"

"I'm not a kid!" Hope snapped, his eyes burning with that same passion that Snow recalled far too well from their confrontation. Still, though, Snow had to give Hope that much—in the past few weeks Hope did seem to have grown. His face was leaner, harder. He stood taller, chin up, shoulders back…no. Hope wasn't a child any longer. "Lightning is Lightning. Not Serah. You can't treat her or…or look at her like she is Serah." Hope fumbled for his next words. "I think it bothers her," he finally managed, though his voice seemed saddened by the very thought of Lightning being remotely upset. "Nobody wants to live in anyone's shadow. Don't make Lightning live in Serah's, Snow."

Snow stood speechless as Hope marched into camp, entirely unsure of what had just transpired. _Did I just receive relationship advice from a fourteen-year-old?_

Does Hope think that me and Lightning…?

Wait, was Hope jealous?

Snow chuckled quietly as he pulled out Serah's tear, hardly able to contain himself from spilling the events then and there to his betrothed. The two men were jealous of each other, and it was, quite possibly, the most misunderstood jealously that ever existed between two males.

* * *

Once camp had been set up, Snow snuck away to spend time with his fiancée. "I know Light isn't you," Snow began, leaning against a tree not far from their site as he stared into the crystal. "I was just thrown off when she gave me that look that you used to—"

_Holy hell, that was it! That was it! The look Light gave me…it's the same one you'd always give me whenever I did something right. But what does that mean, coming from Lightning? What did I do right? Why did I get it?_

Snow soon left Serah out of the conversation entirely and instead opted to ask himself the questions. At first they simply revolved around Lightning's personality, but at some point in time they took a turn for the worse.

He slumped against the tree and slid downwards to the grass, pocketing Serah's tear without a second thought. _Why does seeing Hope with Lightning bother me so much?_ It wasn't as if Lightning resembled Serah so closely that he honestly mistook Lightning to be her. The memory of Lightning brushing her fingers against Hope's face sprung to his mind, sending a familiar fire through him that at any other time would have shamed him, but right now he needed to understand this jealousy.

_Dammit, why do I feel like this every time?_

Slowly, surely, each piece of the puzzle began to fit together. Memories of Hope's house, how he had paid far too much attention to the movements of Lightning's legs and his genuine regret that she had suggested Serah be the one to tell Lightning's name. Recollections of the thrill Lightning's cure, of how he at first believed it was because her presence was so close to that of Serah's. Thoughts of how he wanted to do nothing more than comfort Lightning in her troubles and let her cast all her cares upon him to carry. Of how he would do anything for one damn smile from her. How he would kill any beast to be in Hope's shoes, even for the briefest of moments.

Snow put his head in his hands. _No. No. This is not happening. I won't allow this. I can't, I won't. I'm engaged! I promised Serah! I'm…I'm in love with Serah!_ Fat tears threatened to fall from his eyes, but his hands were too shaken to wipe them away. _Shit, Serah, help me. I can't believe I'm even thinking these things. I'm so sorry Serah, please, please forgive me! Help me center myself again!_

Snow clawed desperately for his only remaining memento of his love again, regretting that he had ever pocketed it away. He held it up to the light of the distant campfire but his heart nearly burst when he did so.

Lightning's profile was defined in the firelight and her image was dancing in the hexagonal prisms at the center of the crystal he now held.

He couldn't contain himself any longer.

For the first time since he had lost Serah, Snow Villiers, the hero of NORA, was unable to dam back his tears.


	6. Of Cie'th and Hips

**Note: Sorry for the delay in getting this out! I've had a horrible week with the amount of work I've received and also a new computer was installed. Which means that all the work I put into this chapter previously was lost. Ack.  
**Anyway, once again a huge thank-you to Sakura Moon, whose patience and great ideas are always a wonderful help. Another thanks to all who have reviewed--your thoughts and honesty are always appreciated!  
**On that note, please feel free to review! Your comments are an encouragment!**

* * *

Several days had passed since Hope had been lost and subsequently found. Though they had every intention of traveling directly to Oerba, the group of them, as tended to be normal, got distracted. At least it was for a decent cause: they were attempting to placate the Cie'th stones and complete the stones' focus in their stead. They didn't realize at the time that each mission would be a horribly time-consuming task, but now they had invested so much of their energy into assisting the unmoving stones they didn't have the heart to back out.

Of course, it hadn't been this way to start, Snow recalled.

---

After having discovered the first stone and heard the woman describe how she needed to kill some sort of pudding so she could finally gain her well-earned rest, the majority of the party had been moved by pity. Most had wanted to act on this poor soul's behalf. Lightning, however, had just nodded, saying that if they found time they would. Then, despite the pond being only a few hundred feet away to the north, she turned east and hopped down about ten feet to the ground below.

"Whoa, whoa, where are you going?" Snow chased after her, landing quite inelegantly compared to Lightning. "We have to help these Cie'th! That could be us some day!"

Lightning didn't even bother turning around. Her hips swayed enticingly as she marched up a gentle hill. "It will be us one day if we don't hurry to Oerba," she retorted.

That had stopped Snow. _Touché_.

Hope carefully jumped down the same height that Lightning and Snow already covered. He landed, fell forwards, and flapped his arms in vain to regain his balance before he toppled down onto his knees. Profanities, most of them sounding very Sazh-like in nature, flowed from Hope's mouth as he pushed himself back on his feet and ran forward to block Lightning's path. She stopped, crossed her arms over her chest and awaited Hope's explanation for his behavior.

The boy gulped before he began. "B..but Light," he protested, "if we were Cie'th stones, wouldn't you want someone to help us?"

Lightning said nothing, other than arching a brow, which Snow knew to mean 'I don't give a damn about anything you just said, so you best back away before my hand twitches.'

Hope recognized this too, judging by the look of sheer terror that flitted across his face. Though everyone knew Lightning would never hurt Hope, the kid had still been there when she had punched Snow twice within a minute, causing the giant to stumble backwards and nearly lose his footing. Considering only a few fiends had ever managed the same, it wasn't something to discredit.

Oh yes, the memory was still fresh with Hope, but still the boy persisted. "Lightning, we have to help them! It's…it's the right thing to do! They'll just wither away to nothing if we don't help!"

"Yeah, what he said!" Snow tossed in, thumping Hope's back in agreement.

Lightning stared them both down for a considerable length of time but once she realized the two wouldn't give in to her threatening demeanor, she grunted. "If I turn into a Cie'th because of this," she began, spinning on her heel to head north, "you both will be the first things I kill."

Hope beamed at Lightning's back, watching her head towards the pond.

---

From there, though, it had gone downhill quickly. They had spent several days on less than a handful of little quests to help their unlucky fellows. The extra time they had taken from their schedule had put Lightning on edge, even more so than usual. Every time Snow or Hope drew up beside her while they walked she cast a sideways glance over towards the brand each man wore on his arm, and there her gaze would linger for some time before sliding forward once again, a certain uneasiness present that hadn't been as pronounced before.

Time was running short. At some point they had to stop playing hero for everyone else and focus on themselves and their own focus. It was hard to accept but, as Snow was now reminding himself, he wouldn't be much assistance to anyone if he were to become a Cie'th. They needed to move on, and soon. Snow would mention it to Lightning tonight at camp.

For now, though, they were marching two by two towards the Tsumitran Basin, seeking out their next mark. Fang and Vanille were bringing up the rear, Sazh and Snow in the middle with Hope and Lightning, as always, in the lead. They were all chatting amongst themselves, and occasional bursts of laughter would emanate from Vanille, or every once in awhile Hope would chuckle a little louder than normal. Sazh and Snow were in just as high of spirits.

During the course of the past few days, Snow and Sazh had become fast friends. It was mostly due to Snow trying his best to avoid Lightning and all the confusing emotions her presence drowned him with, but Snow also genuinely enjoyed Sazh's company. He had helped fill Snow's mind with mindless hilarities or sexual perversions that only the two older men could appreciate, and in return Snow had less time to think about his growing attachment towards Lightning. That also meant he had even less time to speak with Serah. When he wasn't laughing alongside Sazh, he was either making painful attempts to act as if Lightning hadn't been tearing his mind apart or he simply slept.

Now, however, he and Sazh were rather quiet. The older man was busy taking in the scenery, making it a point to be quite obvious in turning his head from side to side, observing the varied levels of the land. He mentioned how picturesque the steppes were. Occasionally he'd quote a poem about nature he had heard on Cocoon that reminded him strongly of the wild beauty surrounding them. Once in awhile he'd comment on how the water sparkled in the bright sunlight or, when he got really into it, he'd start describing how the shadow of the clouds resembled various shapes on the patchy grass…

Snow wasn't fooled. He had the old man pegged.

In between comments about the beauteous, complex ecosystem where they now traversed, Sazh's eyes would fall right back on the small hips that were directly before him, tilting his head with the sway of Lightning's backside as she walked. At one point Snow swore Sazh's tongue was sticking out to the side, like it had been when he was trying to think of a metaphor to describe the whiteness of the clouds against the blue of the sky. _Was he trying to think of a metaphor for Lightning's ass?_

Snow couldn't help himself now. He, too, permitted his gaze to wander to Lightning's behind which, he noted with some small sense of delight, was now _uphill_. Oh, yes, there would definitely be a metaphor suitable…

"Damn fine scenery," Sazh commented.

"Hm," Snow nodded intelligently. He may have been engaged but, damn it all, he was a man first and foremost. At least Sazh understood.

"What is?" Hope asked, leaving Lightning's side momentarily to join Sazh.

At first Sazh didn't say anything because Lightning was paying too close of attention. Once she relaxed and resumed her typical too-quick pace Sazh pointed his chin towards the _Pulse_ _scenery _he had been admiring. Hope cast a quizzical look forward, to Sazh, then back up—

"Oh!" Hope's eyes grew round with realization, his face burning bright red. Still, though, his gaze hadn't been averted. Try as he may to be the mature adult, Hope was still a teenage boy. His hormones would always get the best of him.

Though it aggravated him slightly to see _two _males now ogling the object of his own discontent, he couldn't help but find the situation to be more than a little entertaining. Hope bobbed alongside Sazh for a few minutes, once casting his gaze in Snow's direction to see if he, too, was watching with the same ardent interest. Snow turned his head aside quickly, whistling innocently until Hope allowed himself another peek at the show.

Hope finally ripped his eyes away from the entrancing sight and replaced it with that of his shoes. "It is pretty here, isn't it?" he mumbled before trotting back to Lightning. His face was still horribly red.

Snow couldn't hold in his amusement any longer. Both he and Sazh burst out laughing, much to Hope's embarrassment, and couldn't control themselves. Eventually Sazh had to lean against a boulder for support and Snow was doubled over, gasping for breath and gripping his still-sore side. The whole party had come to a halt.

"What's so funny?" Vanille asked, looking between the two guilty men. Neither one could respond, so she inquired the now-scarlet Hope. "What?"

Hope gave in intelligible mutter, something about immature idiots, before purposefully facing away from everyone. Lightning said nothing, but Snow could see her penetrating, accusing glare.

"Hurry up and finish. You're practically asking for us to be attacked," Lightning snapped as she gave the area around them a once-over for good measure. Snow finally was able to compose himself and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"You got it, boss. Lead the way!"

_Oh hell. Wrong thing to say._

Sazh and Snow both fell to pieces again, far worse than before. Even Hope gave a lopsided grin, one that he quickly tried to hide from Lightning.

Fang threw her arms in the air. "I'm missing out on something, apparently. Wanna clue us in?"

"No," Snow wheezed. "You…you wouldn't appreciate it."

"Hey Fang, you wanna lead the way, too? Snow and I can just follow, so you don't have to mind us," Sazh added, somehow able to maintain some semblance of self-control through the whole sentence, which was more than Snow could say for himself. He kept cracking up throughout.

"I'll join you guys," Hope added cheerfully. When Snow saw Hope's burning cheeks and the wicked dance in his eyes all hell broke loose.

The three men fell to the ground, laughing like idiots while the women stared at them, bewildered and more than slightly annoyed.

* * *

The rest of the day had been rather uneventful and, sadly, Sazh and Snow had been moved to the rearof their troop. They were extremely close to finding their next mark but it was still too far to go considering dusk had fallen upon them. Lightning had cast the sky a rather menacing scowl before turning to the group. "It's getting late. I noticed a cave a short ways back. I was hoping to find something better, but…" she looked up again, this time towards the clouds that were building up in the distance. "Rain," she said quietly.

"I know where you mean. C'mon, let's go." Fang corralled them into a small herd and pushed them back the same way they had arrived until they reached the small cave nestled in a long rock wall. In the far distance one of the lumbering dinosaurs was roaming and the earth gently thrummed with each of its steps, but that beastie was far too large to be of any bother to them while in a cave.

Sazh and Snow followed Fang in, and trailing behind were Hope and Vanille. Lightning was outside scouting to make sure no other fiends were skulking about.

"Me and Sazh are gonna go check out the cave. You're on babysitting duty," Fang winked.

Snow nodded and watched as Hope and Vanille playfully argued over who'd get the smoothest part of the cave floor for a bed as Sazh and Fang disappeared around a corner in the back end of their stone shelter.

"Snow," whined Vanille, "Where are you going to sleep? Wherever you sleep is where Hope has to sleep, right?"

"No! I choose where we sleep, and I say it's right here!"

"But that's not fair!"

Snow laughed at their antics. "It's up to him, I'm afraid. Light and I are taking watch tonight.

Hope and Vanille both paused mid-sentence.

"'Light'?"

"You're _both _taking watch?"

The last accusation was from Hope, whose face contained a mixture of surprise and budding irritation.

"Yes and yes…? Is that a problem?" Snow responded, unsure of who had seemed more accusatory.

"I didn't know you called her Light…"

"We're in a cave. Why do you both need to take watch?"

With a sigh Snow asked, "Why do you both have to talk at once?"

Vanille just chuckled and bounced away, using the distraction to claim her sleeping spot on the ground, exactly where she had wanted it. This caused the severity of Hope's frown to increase.

"You don't have to take watch tonight, Snow. I'll do it," Hope said. It sounded more like a demand than a suggestion.

_This again?_ His mind flashed back to Hope's little conversation with Snow nearly a week ago. Of course Hope wouldn't like the thought of Snow being alone with Lightning, even if it was just for guard duty. "Two people have to take watch here, Hope. It's been two people ever since we left that base camp of ours. Fang and Vanille went yesterday, Sazh and Lightning the day before…"

"Then that would mean it's my turn to stand watch with you."

Snow rubbed his neck, working out the knot that had been there since his rough landing on Pulse. Why was he arguing? If Hope wanted to take watch, he should let him. _I wouldn't have to be alone with her all night._ "Take it up with Light. She's the one who set this up."

"Light did…?"

_Oh, that caused him to pause all right._

At that moment Lightning returned to their camp saying that there was nothing in the area immediately around them. She seemed to sense the tension in the air (or it could have been Vanille's overtly obvious pointing from Snow to Hope and the fists she made) because she motioned for Snow to follow her outside.

Snow, of course, did as he was told and noticed the slits-for-eyes Hope he left behind.

"What is _with _you two?" Lightning whispered harshly as soon as they were out of earshot from the youngsters. She looked just as aggravated as Hope; her arms were crossed and her hip was cocked to the side.

_Hah. Hips._

He somehow managed to keep a straight face. "Nothing," he said innocently, even adding in a convincing shrug to achieve the desired amount of nonchalance.

"Don't give me that, Villiers. I'm not an idiot."

Snow winced. She was _not _in a friendly mood tonight. He dared take a peek at her face, frowning at the sight of _her _frown.

_Those lips shouldn't always look so sad._

Snow sighed and rubbed his neck for a second time. "It's complicated…"

Her fist twitched_. Shit._ "Okay, okay," he resigned. Fighting with Lightning was never, ever worth the broken jaw. Ever. "He's just a little on edge because I'm on watch with you tonight."

She shook her head. Obviously that was the last thing she expected. "Why does it matter?" Lightning asked, peering at Snow curiously. "It just means he gets to sleep."

_Oh hell. What do I say now? If I don't answer…well, I don't think my face can handle a fourth hit from her. But…_

Another twitch.

_Think fast, Villiers…think, think…_

"He thinks that we're not letting him take watch because of what happened." It had come out as one word, and despite how short the sentence had been he was quite out of breath.

He waited for an agonizingly long time as Lightning mulled over his response. Finally she seemed to accept his answer and she visibly relaxed. "He'll get over it," she shrugged as she excused herself from the conversation and returned to their shelter.

_I am brilliant._

Snow passed the threshold for camp and rejoined the other three, who were gathered around a small fire that Hope had built. Hope was smiling slightly, speaking with Vanille about what her life had been like on Pulse two hundred years ago. Snow's presence was ignored by him for the most part, but Lightning had been acknowledged many times over by now.

Snow rose from his seat when Sazh and Fang returned, the former smiling guiltily as he approached Snow. "She got the stuff," he whispered. Fang grinned at his side.

It took Snow a minute to remember their plan for exacting vengeance upon Hope that he and Sazh had brainstormed the day before. "Oh, right!" A quick glance towards Hope made Snow hesitate: would now really be the best time for revenge? They were in a cave, after all…"What was at the back of the cave?"

Sazh looked puzzle by his question. "Not much. Buncha rocks and stagnant water. Stalagmites or stalactites or…whatever the hell they are."

The grin on Snow's face matched Fang's. "Great. Make sure you let him know it's there. We wouldn't want him to run outside…"

Nodding with understanding, Sazh said, "Good thinkin', boss. Fang, wanna get dinner ready?" Sazh asked loudly. Fang made a show of cursing the old technician but she went outside to gather the bulging pack she had been carrying all day.

"Sorry guys, just fruit tonight." She sat down on a chair and began to pull out two pieces of fruit for each member. Snow, with no small sense of happiness, was immediately aware of the slightest difference of hue in the fruit Hope had been given.

"Back of the cave is our uh, rest stop for the night," Sazh grunted, taking a bite from his own fruit. "If you catch my meaning."

Lightning considered her meager meal. "Will this stuff make me need it?"

Vanille shook her head. "Nope! This is the good stuff!"

Lightning nodded once and took a bite. The others who had not done so already promptly followed her example. Snow ate the first of his fruit then handed his second to Hope, saying he didn't like the fruit enough to eat a second one. Hope readily accepted his offer.

About ten minutes had passed after everyone had eaten their dinner. Lightning was already outside and the others were preparing their camp. Snow was about to join Lightning, but Hope's loudly complaining stomach stopped Snow in his tracks.

"Fang, I thought you said that those weren't the bad fruit?" Hope groaned, clutching his stomach desperately.

"We lied," Sazh jumped in. "Just like you did when you took the Oath, you bastard!"

Hope was already halfway to their rest area by that point.

Laughing coldly, Sazh shouted after Hope's rapidly vanishing silhouette. "Be glad Snow talked me out of all the other ideas!" He turned back around to face Fang and Snow. "I can rest easy tonight knowing he got what he deserved."

Fang planted her fists on either side of her hips. "You're both going to burn in hell for this, you know."

As he made to leave the cave, Snow added, "Don't forget, Fang: you helped us, too. We'll see you there!"

Snow joined Lightning's side, still chortling softly to himself. Lightning didn't seem too pleased.

"That was childish," she scolded. "He needed sleep."

"Relax! He'll be fine in an hour or two, according to Fang. Besides, he deserved it…and it really is nothing compared to what we did have planned."

Lightning rolled her eyes and resumed her previous occupation of staring up towards the velvet night sky, which was now peppered with stars and, as always, the outline of Cocoon.

They stood silent for some length of time, noting how the camp settled down as everyone slowly fell asleep. Snow was quite aware of his proximity to Lightning, how his arm would barely brush against hers if he shifted slightly to the right. He didn't bother moving, though: both he and Lightning were flanked by large boulders. Besides, if she was uncomfortable, she had the option of moving herself. Snow was perfectly content.

The soft velvet morphed into inky black as more time passed and the rain clouds began to roll in. It became far chillier as the temperature rapidly dropped on the plains, and though Lightning would never admit it, the raised bumps on her skin gave away how cold she was. Snow wouldn't offer her his jacket: she'd only refuse.

Once more his eyes took in the beauty next to him, but only briefly. He quickly averted his gaze to the grass at his feet, kicking the thick growth with a booted foot. Surprise overtook the boredom that was beginning to set in when a light hand rested on his arm.

"Your brand…" Lightning breathed softly, lifting Snow's arm to eyelevel for her to examine.

"You've been staring at mine and Hope's all week," Snow said slowly, carefully ensuring his voice was more steady than he felt. His mind had gone something near insane when he comprehended that it was Lightning who graced him with her touch.

She dropped his arm almost as quickly as she had grasped it. "I've been worried." Lightning bit her lip and consequently made Snow swallow hard. "We're wasting time."

Snow nodded slightly. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I think we should move on now…"

"Oh?" Her hardened stare fell upon Snow. "You're the one who suggested we go on this mad hunt."

"Actually it was Hope. I just agreed with him."

Lightning scoffed. "So you're blaming the fourteen-year-old?"

"He's wilier than he looks!" Snow countered. _If only she knew what he was doing earlier…_"Besides, I didn't realize then that there were so many Cie'th that needed our help. We can't possibly help them all. If we tried, we'd turn into Cie'th ourselves…and that won't help anyone."

Lightning measured his words for a moment. "Always playing the hero," she finally said, her eyes downcast.

Why did she suddenly look so sad?

As if to answer his unasked question, Lightning began to speak. "We're running out of time. Look, the eye on your brand—" she picked up Snow's arm again and pointed to the red orb that had appeared rather recently. "It's the same as everyone else's. What if Oerba doesn't work out? We're already so short on time. There's no second chances."

She hadn't let go of Snow's arm. Instead she gripped it firmly while speaking to no one in particular. "I refuse to give up, but what do we do when we just don't have enough time? To go all this way and become Cie'th…that's just my kind of luck," Lightning spat bitterly.

"Hey, hey," Snow consoled, grabbing Lightning's shoulders without really thinking. "You're not that unlucky. I mean, you _did _get stuck on this hellhole with _me_. I couldn't think of a better example of good luck than that!"

Lightning rolled her eyes, but the smile that she had attempted to fight off managed to peek through.

_I made Lightning smile? _He double and triple checked to be sure his eyes weren't fooling him. _Holy hell, I did! Take _that, _Hope!_

Snow was warm all over at the sight of what he had accomplished. It was no small feat, to be sure. "Wait, wait…is that an expression of happiness I spy? No, it can't be. The mighty Lightning does not smile!"

Lightning punched Snow's chest lightly—for her—and tried to suppress her amusement yet again. The small struggle went on for awhile before the moment passed, but when it had they both became acutely aware that Snow still had his hands upon Lightning's shoulders. He didn't particularly care to remove them, either.

"Tell me something," Snow said, lowering his head to be even with Lightning's. Her gaze met his and they were transfixed with each other for some time.

Snow marveled at the swirling hues of Lightning's eyes. At first they would appear a stormy grey, like the clouds above. A transformation would overtake them and the greys parted, and in their stead flecks of blue would arise, sometimes frosty like the icy glaze upon the snow and other times softer like the pale skies of summer. Behind the colors lay an equally complex layer of emotions, one that, at first glance, spoke nothing more than indifference. This was the Lightning that Snow had come to accept and know, but now, peering at her from such a close distance and urged on by an intense desire to understand Lightning, he saw there was far more to the woman than what a single glance could translate. Beneath those lovely eyelashes lay all her emotions, rawly exposed and meshing together to form a mystifying and saddening tale that Snow vowed, then and there, to read further until every portion of her story was understood by him...and perhaps him alone.

Lightning tore her eyes from Snow's and instead opted for a quizzical expression while she shimmied out from his grip. "Tell you something? Like what?" she asked as Snow's arms fell to his sides, defeated.

"About you. I don't know anything about you," he replied honestly. What had transpired between them just then shattered a few more of the strings that had held up the former image of Lightning he carried.

"I kill things," she shrugged, picking at invisible threads on her shoulder.

"You're very good at it. Tell me something else." This wasn't curiosity any longer. He was being driven by desire now, one that had nothing to do with bodily lust.

"Why, Snow?"

"Do it."

She sighed, seemingly annoyed. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me your greatest fear," Snow suggested, eyeing her carefully for a response. If he truly wanted Lightning to come to depend on him, this was the best place to start.

Lightning sighed again, massaging the bridge of her nose as she thought. "I don't know…" she trailed off, her eyes became distant. "Does this matter?"

"I have all night, Light. I'll keep pestering you, and you know it."

Lightning guffawed quietly. "Because you're nothing more than a child," she taunted, but Snow didn't take the bait. If he would have, they'd be gone on some petty argument. Snow dropped her taunt and gave her more time to consider the question and the earnestness with which he asked it. Once again, as suddenly as before, she took Snow's brand in hand but, this time, she traced over it with a finger. "This."

Snow shivered when he was subjected to this new, unexpected touch from Lightning. It was not unpleasant in the least. The fire coursing through him could vouch for that. _Remember Serah. You can't forget her._

"That?" he breathed. At the moment his attempts to recall his fiancée was becoming a very difficult attempt. He was literally inches away from Lightning, and this was the first time she had ever laid a soft hand upon Snow, something that wasn't a fist or a firm grasp.

Lightning nodded, never taking her eyes away from the brand that stared back. "This," she repeated, jabbing the eye with her nail. "I'm afraid you'll—everyone—will turn into Cie'th. That it will be my fault."

Snow continued watching Lightning trace the arrows, too afraid to return the touch lest she pull away and disappear. He didn't want this moment to fade. "Why would it be your fault?"

She shook her head, etching the pattern with more force now. "I don't know," she admitted. "But I'm afraid that you and Hope and the others will turn into Cie'th. At least with a crystal you'll return at some point. I can't get you back when you turn into a monster."

"Light," Snow began, but didn't know how to complete what he wanted to say. Thoughts of what he wished he could have done flashed through his head, mixed with thoughts of Serah returning and of Lightning…

_Of Lighting_ _doing what? _He wondered to himself. It didn't take him long to realize that the statement simply was as it had been: Lightning. He simply thought of Lightning.

"I won't leave you, Light," Snow said tenderly, placing a hand over the now furiously-tracing one of Lightning's. "I'm not going anywhere, not even to be a Cie'th. I've been here since the start, through punches to the face and everything. That won't change."

Lightning seemed taken aback by Snow's words, or perhaps by how comfortably her hand now rested in his. She stared for a long while at the two hands joined together before shaking her head violently and pulling away, no doubt thinking of the one person Snow was both trying to shove from his mind and desperately bring back.

"Sorry about your face," Lightning mumbled after freeing herself from Snow's grasp yet again.

Snow managed a laugh, though he was genuinely hurt that Lightning had snatched herself away so quickly. "It's good practice. I can take hits from the fiends a lot better now than I could, you know."

A voice from the shadows interrupted them. "I hate you, Snow."

Both Snow and Lightning whirred around to the cave entrance, both wearing guilty expressions on their face as if they had been caught doing something far worse than standing awkwardly close to each other. Hope stood there, face pale and his body slightly shaky, watching the two with a suspicious gaze.

"What?" Snow said thickly.

Hope looked between the two, now uncertain about what he had walked in on. His eyes came to rest on Snow again, sending accusing glares in his direction. "The fruit," he said simply, though judging by his expression there was something else on his mind that had nothing to do with the simple act of revenge.

"Sazh's idea. Not mine." Snow grinned, taking half a step away from Lightning and slamming his back into the hard rock behind him.

"Uh huh. Sazh said the same about you, before I burned his pants." Now Hope looked over to Lightning, who did little more than stare at the ground with such ferocity that Snow secretly feared she'd set it on fire as well.

"You burned his pants?" Snow blinked.

"No. But I might."

Lightning seemed to recover herself and stood tall once again. "You should get to bed, Hope. You've already missed over an hour of rest, and you could use it now more than ever."

Hope leaned against the cave entrance, his eyes glued on Snow once again. "Oh, I'm not tired. Wide awake now. If you're tired, Light, then I'll take watch in your place."

Lightning shrugged and turned back towards the wilderness. "I'm fine. Snow, go to bed. That's an order."

Snow, knowing a dismissal when he heard it, tried to conceal the bubbling irritation fermenting within him. He nodded once to Lightning, bopped Hope lightly on the head and went in to set up a bed for himself.

The last thing that he saw before drifting off to sleep was Lightning placing a hand on Hope's shoulder and guiding him inside, sheltering both from the rain that had begun to fall. Hope offered Lightning his spare blanket, which she of course refused at first, but somehow Hope convinced her to take it.

Snow pulled his coat tighter to his body, damning himself for not offering it to her earlier.


	7. Heat Wave

**Note: Don'tkillmedon'tkillme.  
**Once again a big thanks to Sakura Moon...and all those who have reviewed the story thus far!  
**Please consider reviewing. Your comments are, as always, an encouragement!**

* * *

This would be their second night in Mah'habara. Granted, their surroundings had improved since their first night—at least now they were in a flower filled fissure, but all the other conditions remained the same. The fissure was still rather narrow, only now instead of having stone walls on either side of them the group remained exposed to a rather splatter-inspiring fall on their right side. Compared to the roughly hewn stone they had grown accustomed to during their first day, the grass and small flowers were a welcome sight. Still, they were unable to escape each other, nor were they able to outrun the heat.

Though Lightning blamed her decision to stop and rest for an hour on Vanille's battle with her Eidolon, the suffocating heat is what prompted her to decide that they'd remain here for the night. Here, in the fissure, they were able to receive fresh air that they appreciated far more than its stagnant counterpart inside the tunnels. Now their only real complaint, besides the temperature, was the low grinding sounds of metal against rock that emanated from the Pulse fal'Cie, Atomos, carving more tunnels in the distance. It was mildly aggravating, but tolerable nonetheless.

Vanille was supporting herself against a tree, Fang hugging her close and speaking to her in a low voice, probably comforting her after the battle that had taken place. Hope was inching himself towards the edge of the fissure, willing himself to peek over the edge of the cliff to the depths below. Sazh was laying face down on the grass, thanking it for not being stone while the chocobo chick twittered and flew in circles above his head.

Lightning stood in the background, near the exit from the cavern they had left before Vanille's battle and watched the others silently. Her eyes sidled between Hope and Vanille, for once paying equal attention to the younger girl. Perhaps she was worried she'd collapse from exhaustion or maybe she worried that she'd face another eidolon soon. A sharp intake of breath from Hope would send Lightning's attention flying back to Hope, who had crept a little too close to the edge and was shocked when loose stones detached from the rock face and fell to depths unknown.

"Sorry," Hope apologized sheepishly when he turned to see Lightning's worried countenance.

Snow settled into a sitting position besides the still-standing Lightning, his gaze taking in the same view as she. "Crazy day," he said, looking up slightly towards the woman above him. Lightning grunted in response, her eyes still locked on Hope. Biting back the crude comment that was bubbling within him about Lightning's concern for the boy, Snow wisely chose to remain quiet. His attention returned to Lightning rather abruptly when she began cursing the heat and flung some of her equipment off her.

"This is ridiculous," she hissed, unlatching her shoulder plate and tossing it to the ground with her gloves. "I can hardly breathe." Off came her cape, which lazily floated atop the Guardian Corp equipment.

Snow became far too intrigued in Lightning's actions once she got around to peeling off her sleeve, which was followed shortly thereafter by the two storage packs she carried. Hope even cast quick, successive glances over his shoulders: this was about as naked as he'd ever seen Lightning. Both men were enjoying the show.

She threw herself down at Snow's side, visibly less clothed than before, and it took all of Snow's self-control to stop himself from staring at Lightning's gloriously long legs that now seemed more exposed than ever before. _Hell. Yes._

Sazh quit worshipping the grass to join Snow, and the chocobo sought the shelter of a nearby tree. As the technician sat an uncomfortable jabbing met Snow's side. When he looked to investigate he saw Sazh's eyebrows flying upwards while he nodded towards Lightning. Snow rolled his eyes.

Fang sat across from Lightning and handed her a fruit before tossing one to Sazh as well. "Hotter than I remember," Fang commented, cutting her own fruit in half as Vanille joined their semi-circle. Vanille nodded in thanks as Fang continued. "I don't remember Mah'habara, though, so maybe it was always this hot, yeah?"

Vanille shook her head energetically and took a bite from the fleshy fruit. "I don't remember it being this hot, either, but I wish it weren't! We'll never sleep!"

Hope joined Vanille and was given his dinner by Sazh. "D'you think there's lava or something down there?" He pointed to the fissure in the earth. His voice was full of youthful enthusiasm, so much so that Vanille giggled and pushed him sideways.

"Don't be silly! It's just a big crack in the ground!"

Snow watched the two argue back and forth, a small smile on his lips. It was nice that Hope's mind was on someone other than Lightning.

Another sharp jab met Snow's ribs but this time it was from Lightning, who handed him more than half of the fruit she had been given. Snow tried to protest but Lightning thrust it into his hands. He mumbled his thanks and took a bite from the apple-sized morsel, noting how, as Lightning did the same, the juice from it dripped from her mouth down to her chin. Her lips had been dyed a lovely shade of red.

It was bad enough that she had partially stripped in front of Snow. Now she was being sexy without knowing it. It was driving Snow mad.

His attention was drawn back to the present by squeals from Vanille. She and Hope were now in a shoving match, quite far from the fissure, thankfully. Fang watched with amusement. "Over two hundred years old and she still acts like a kid," she mused, taking a bite off the core. "Some things never change with time." Her eyes wandered towards Snow, who had tossed both his overcoat and his over shirt into a pile atop Lightning's. He was down to a rather tight black tee.

"What?" Snow grinned. "You know you love it," he added, throwing his arms wide so Fang could get a better look.

"Put all your shit back on! You're emasculating me!" Sazh huffed.

The others chuckled and turned their heads once more to watch the antics of the younger members of the party. The fur sash around Vanille's waist had been abducted by Hope, who now ran four strides ahead of Vanille, daring her to try and get it. His eyes widened in fear when she picked up her Binding Rods and waved them menacingly.

They ran in circles for some time, but none of the adults grew bored of it. They smiled when Hope taunted Vanille, saying he'd give the fur to Sazh to use as a pillow. Snow laughed when Vanille tackled Hope to the ground and tickled him relentlessly. They gasped when Hope accidentally beat her over the head with his boomerang.

Fang, seeing that Vanille was getting ready to summon her newly found eidolon against Hope, shot up to stop her, cursing her heavily for even thinking about it. Lightning stood, stretched, and retreated to the far end of the fissure to try and find some shade, leaving Sazh and Snow alone once again.

"You're watching her awful close, you know," Sazh teased, using his hands as a pillow when he laid back to rest against the earth.

"I could say the same about you," Snow shot back, noting how even now Sazh stared luridly at Lightning while she picked up her gunblade to clean it of the blood that had been accrued throughout the day. "I know what you're thinking. That's wrong, man."

Sazh's booming laugh was magnified tenfold by the caverns and rocky cliffs surrounding them. "What can I say? It's been a long time," Sazh shrugged, focusing his attention back on Snow. Though the giant felt the older man's stare on his back, Snow still couldn't help but watch as Lightning removed her vest and revealed the rather short shirt she wore beneath.

Snow nearly choked when he also saw her navel piercing.

And consequently almost died when she unzipped her sweater until the first signs of cleavage appeared.

_Holy hell. Today is my lucky day._

He absorbed the sight of Lightning one final time, committing to memory the way her top hugged her curves and ended just below her rib cage. He stared lustily at her exposed midsection, how her skirt was tied quite loosely at the front, and how her piercing sparkled in the sunlight…

"By the way you're mouth is hanging open right now, I'd say it's been just as long for you."

Snow tore his sight away from his _sister-in-law_ and shifted uncomfortably, not answering right away. Sazh, of course, noticed.

"Boss's sister was a long time ago," Sazh scratched his chin. "But I've still got you beat."

"What? Serah? N-no!" Snow sputtered, horror overtaking his normally calm face. "No!"

"Never?" Sazh asked, wonder in his voice.

"No!" Snow repeated, nearly shouting. His raised voice earned one of Lightning's please-shut-up stares, which didn't help ease his nerves.

Sazh grinned stupidly, both at Snow's reaction and at Hope, who had left Vanille and Fang to…whatever it is that they do and clambered to Lightning's side. "We've corrupted him," Sazh motioned towards the boy, who was trying with all his might not to admire Lightning's legs, toned abdomen, or slightly exposed chest. Both men assumed, correctly, that his head was about to explode. "But why never you and Serah…? I mean, you're engaged…"

Snow rubbed his face roughly, hardly able to believe he was actually having this conversation. _Better Sazh than Lightning. _"It…we weren't like that," he groaned. Embarrassed he now kicked at the ground. "She was…Serah's younger than me by a few years. It was…" Snow watched Hope take advantage of Lightning's distraction to stare at her unzipped sweater. "It was innocent," Snow managed through clenched teeth. _Unlike that brat. _

Sazh nodded once. "I have a question, and you ain't gonna like me for it."

"I already don't," Snow muttered. Sazh heard this and grinned.

"Good, now I don't have to worry." Heaving a large breath he continued. "Why Serah? I mean, from what I know, you had a…a whirlwind relationship. She's a lot younger than you. And…" Sazh's eyes flitted towards Lightning. "You've been watching her awful close lately."

Snow considered the question for a long stretch of time. _Why Serah, indeed? _He pursed his lips in thought, grabbing the engagement necklace that hung from his thick neck. _Because I loved her. No. I _love _her. It's not past-tense._

His attentions wandered back to the woman that muddled his thoughts so much during the past few weeks, watching her teach Hope how to properly care for a gunblade. Watched as Hope eagerly took on the lesson, as Lightning guided his hands down the polished steel…

"Serah found the good in everything, in everyone. She was beautiful, intelligent, and so…easy to love. Everything was so simple for her. Everyone was her friend. She was charismatic. It was easy to fall for her. And…"

His throat caught, but not because of his reminiscent memories. He realized then how childish it all sounded, and that it had every reason to sound that way. Serah _was_ a child, despite the mature mindset she would often adopt, especially around Lightning. She was far younger than Snow, and her thoughts reflected that. The mere fact that she was so willing to abandon her chance at a college education to be with Snow spoke volumes, though Snow was wont to admit he was glad to hear of her decision at the time.

And Snow had been nothing more than a boy then, uncaring of the world and responsibilities. He knew nothing of what he was getting in to. Though he always wished to help the world around him, sometimes it was for all the wrong reasons. He wanted glory, he wanted to be the hero. The good guy. The one that would make women pine for him, make them weak-kneed and swoon…but at the end of the day he would always have his damsel to return home to.

He tugged his necklace nervously, carefully avoiding Sazh.

_I love Serah,_ he reminded himself. But why should he have to remind himself of that? If he loved her, it should be self-evident. It shouldn't need excuses or explanations. Why was he doing all the above?

"I made a promise." He didn't know why he said it. Didn't know how it slipped out.

Sazh pat Snow's shoulders a few times before heaving himself up off the ground, adding his own coat to the growing pile in the corner. "You gotta find your own happiness, Trench. No promise will help you there. If you ain't happy, you can't make anybody happy." With that he left to join Fang and Vanille.

Snow grumbled to himself, throwing his bandana into the collection. He ran a hand through his hair, stewing over the conversation that had just transpired. _Up and away he goes, as if he didn't just blow everything to damnation. _He noticed Lightning's lingering gaze as it settled upon his messy mop of hair.

"What?" he spat, immediately regretting his tone. Lightning's eyes narrowed and she chose then and there to start ignoring him. Hope cast Snow a dirty look, only provoking Snow further. Biting the inside of his cheek Snow stormed off into the narrow, stone corridors of Mah'habara that they had earlier escaped from.

He spun sharply around a corner, throwing himself against the nearest wall, inhaling deeply to calm himself. _Why am I so upset? _He wondered, once he had regained some of his senses. It had only been an honest question from Sazh: why Serah over Lightning? Any man would ask that. It was understandable. Why, then, was he livid about it?

Snow closed his eyes to help him think. He wasn't angry with Sazh, that much he knew. Though he had snapped at Lightning, she had been undeserving of the irritation. Hope deserved to be chewed out over anyone with the way he blatantly refused to allow Snow and Lightning to be alone together, but Snow had yet to lose his cool around him…

But that didn't explain the frustration and anger coursing through his body. It didn't tell him why he was shaking. He wanted answers.

And so he thought some more.

He recalled the first time he had met Lightning. She had come on Guardian Corps business, intent on investigating the actions of N.O.R.A. to determine whether or not they should be watched closely or shut down completely. Snow was enraptured by her presence and the boys all dared him to approach her and use his suave personality to woo her, as he had done with some of the other ladies. He learned quickly that she was not like other women: he was humiliated by her quick words of refusal and belittlement.

After some time had passed he met Serah, and with no small thrill discovered that not only did she resemble Lightning, but she was also Lightning's sister. With Lightning hating everything Snow stood for, and likewise hardly paying him any heed, Snow decided to take this opportunity by the horns.

So he started dating Serah.

He hadn't done it intentionally of course, but looking back on it now, well, it was easy to see. Serah was Snow's ace-in-the-hole to acquire Lightning's attention. It was a sure-fire shot at easing her hatred towards him. Maybe make her jealous.

It didn't work.

Instead she despised Snow even further, growing far more hostile than any had ever seen her. Lightning demanded Snow call things off with Serah but Snow refused to do so. He recalled his own delight in seeing his girlfriend's sister teeming with rage at his disregard for her request, but why he had been so delighted had eluded him until now: he desired Lightning to notice him. Wanted it so badly that he even accepted her anger as positive attention. Was he so pathetic that he'd stoop to such a level—using Serah—to gain a place in Lightning's eyes, no matter how low the standing was that he received?

Snow groaned. He was no hero. He was an ass.

_But it didn't stay that way, _he thought desperately. _I fell in love with Serah and—_

Did he really, though? _How do I know I loved her? Maybe I just pretended I did so I wouldn't feel so badly about what I was doing…_

_No. _That wasn't true. He loved Serah, and he promised to care for her until the end of his days. He promised _Lightning _he would—

--why did his promise to Lightning mean more?

Snow clawed desperately for Serah's tear, needing a reminder of her to keep him leveled. His hands fell to his sides when he realized her crystal remained in his trench coat, above Lightning's discarded clothing, utterly forgotten.

Guilt and yet more anger washed over him in waves. Knowing nothing better to do with himself, he opted to vent all his pent-up emotions against the cold, unmoving stone of the cave, repeatedly punching it despite its unwillingness to give.

He ignored the burning sensation as the flesh of his knuckles began to tear and separate. He deserved it for what he did to Serah.

Pain wracked through his hand as he felt his middle knuckle break, but still he continued. He deserved it for lusting after his sister-in-law.

Blood seeped from his knuckles, trailing down his forearm and dripping to the floor. It didn't matter. He deserved far worse for allowing Serah to vanish from his thoughts these past few days.

It was a small price to pay for his betrayal.

Two strong hands gripped his shoulders then, seizing him from behind and spinning Snow sharply around.

"Leave me the hell alone!" Snow cried and, in a blind fury, sent both his fists flying outwards, grimacing as pain rippled through his hands when they connected.

Lightning had caught his right hand easily, but the left struck her squarely in the chest and sent her flying backwards in the narrow passageway. Her back met the hard stone behind her and the force with which she hit bounced her forward again.

She doubled over, gasping for breath as Snow kneeled down, anguish distorting his features.

"Oh hell no. No, no, no…Lightning? Lightning, are you okay? Talk to me, Light," he whimpered, separating the wall of hair that had spilled between them to examine her face. Her eyes were shut tightly, her mouth a severe frown. "Light…Light, I'm so sorry, I—"

"Shut up, Snow," she wheezed. "I'm fine."

Snow wanted to argue, ask how she could be fine when, even now, he could see a purple outline of a bruise forming above her zipper; while she was doubled over and unable to catch her breath.

She righted herself slowly, only once touching the spot where Snow had struck her and even then it was only fleeting. He saw her set her jaw, though whether from pain or annoyance was anyone's guess.

They stood there awkwardly, only inches apart. Snow, though largely aware of Lightning's lack of clothing, didn't even bother to appreciate her form. His eyes alternated from the purpling bruise to Lightning's pained expression, one that she was quickly trying to hide. He wanted to embrace her, apologize profusely and beg for her forgiveness. He wanted to turn around and beat the wall some more. He deserved to jump off the cliff.

Instead he remained where he stood, motionless and unblinking.

Silence settled between them as she took his left hand in hers, the same hand that had so violently lashed out against her attempt to save Snow from damaging himself further. Lightning examined it closely, using her fingers to test various parts of the delicate bones and tissues. Once she was satisfied with the extent of her search her fingers began to glow that too-familiar green.

Lightning was healing him.

The magic was pouring from her in vast quantities, but not enough to match the way his body greedily lapped up her energy. He filled his own magical reserves, unwillingly, before his body decided it high time to heal the damage he had inflicted upon himself. His skin pulled together, mending itself until nothing remained of his wounds other than thin, pink lines where open gashes had been.

Snow closed his eyes, holding back guilt-ridden tears that threatened to spill over. He had raised his hand against Lightning and instead of screaming at him, cursing him, beating him…she was repairing him.

"Light," he whispered thickly, feeling her grab the other hand to repeat the process. The magic, _her_ magic, flowing within him was so warm, so comforting. Almost forgiving.

All his memories of Serah had flown away as quickly as Lightning had come.

He felt his knuckle be set back into place, but that was by Lightning's own skilled hands and not her l'Cie abilities.

Snow wondered then if she remembered healing him at Hope's house, so long ago.

"I'm sorry," he echoed, her words still ringing in his ears as if it had been yesterday. "Forgive me."

"For what?" She asked lightly, her eyes flickering to Snow before resuming the final length of healing. When she was finished she withdrew her hands from him completely.

Snow, at the absence of her touch, opened his eyes and drew his scant knowledge of medical abilities to the forefront of his mind, struggling to summon his own cure. His fingers, aided in no small part by Lightning's stockpile of energy he had hoarded within him, began to glow as well. He placed his palm on the flat of Lightning's chest, barely above her breasts and brand, where the bruise was beginning to well.

The warmth of her skin made Snow forget his troubles from earlier. With much courage and little hesitation, Snow slid his entire hand beneath the sweater Lightning wore until her bruise was no longer covered by cloth, just Snow's skin.

Her heartbeat nearly doubled, but Snow blamed that on his magic now invading _her _body. He was no healer, not by a long shot, but he hoped she understood that he was trying to make things right.

When the bruise vanished entirely, Snow took another step in towards Lightning, pressing his forehead against her own while tenderly laying a hand on her shoulder, his other remaining directly over her heart.

"For everything," he whispered, closing his eyes yet again and inhaling that creamy scent that was Lightning's.

Lightning was stiff beneath him, but she had the option of retreat if she chose. She did not do so, and this instilled no small amount of confidence within Snow.

They stood there for an unknown length of time, neither daring to move. Snow, at one point, peeked through narrow slits to observe the woman that had become his salvation and damnation. Her eyes were closed as well, but her brows were deeply furrowed and her lips downturned.

_Those lips shouldn't always look so sad,_ Snow thought. A fleeting idea to rectify the situation entered his mind, but was quickly interrupted.

"Snow? Lightning? Where are you guys?"

_Fang. Damn it all._

Lightning flew wildly back from Snow, her eyes wide in shock and horror. Snow watched her reaction with a sinking heart.

Fang strolled around the corner and paused at the scene. "Uh, sorry…you guys were gone for awhile and…uh, should I leave?" She asked hesitantly, noting Snow's disheveled hair and Lightning's mostly-absent clothing.

"Why should you leave?" Lightning asked coldly, striding past Snow to join Fang's side. "We were just talking about Snow's engagement." She glanced quickly towards Snow. "We were just about to come back out."

"Really now," Fang wondered, observing the crestfallen Snow. "Well, Hope's been going crazy at camp. I wouldn't be surprised if he comes charging in here soon. He practically forced me in here to find you." She looked between Snow and Lightning several times, a small smile on her lips.

_Hope. Hope again._

Lightning tried to smirk but it appeared to be more of a grimace. "I'll go back now," she said quickly, pushing past Fang before breaking into a jog towards their base for the night.

Fang lingered behind. "Wanna tell me what's going on?"

Snow rubbed his knuckles, hardly daring to trust his voice. What the hell was he doing? What the hell did he just do_? Why the hell did Hope have to send Fang in here?_

"I wouldn't know where to start," he smiled weakly, running his fingers absently through his hair. It was near enough to the truth.

Fang crossed her arms over her chest. "You can start with what happened just now. I saw enough to know that you weren't talking about any engagement."

Snow threw his hands in the air. "I might as well start thinking about it now, shouldn't I?" he hissed, storming directly past Fang, fists clenched, and followed Lightning's footsteps back to camp. His fury had returned, but this time it was aimed at Hope.

He was sick of his shit. The kid was going to pay.


	8. Burning Ire

Heavy footfalls thundered throughout the narrow corridors as Snow broke into a flat run, making for their campsite. Sweat was beginning to pool at his temples and brows, dripping into his eyes and slipping towards his mouth, the salty taste of sweat prevalent on his tongue. Instead of pausing to wipe the glistening moisture from his face, he increased his speed until he was sprinting madly for the exit.

In his earlier retreat to the cavern he hadn't realized how deeply he had traversed into Mah'habara. It wasn't until his desire to _repay_ Hope did he realize how far he had gone into the cavern. The length of time it took him to retrace his footsteps back, instead of cooling his nerves, only increased his want to cause an equal amount of suffering upon Hope that he had caused Snow. His thoughts drifted and scattered until he began fueling the burning flame of anger within him. He recalled all the times where Hope received the attention Snow rightfully deserved. The attention he should have gotten until Hope intervened.

_Lightning giving Hope her cape, whispering all those comforting things in his ear while I froze on the sidelines._

_Lightning ruffling Hope's hair and smiling so easily around him when I have to fight tooth and nail for something other than her fist._

_Lightning pulling herself away from my touch when she so willingly hugs Hope._

_Hope forcing Fang into the caves, interrupting the first damn moment where Lightning actually allowed me within an inch of her._

_Hope sending Fang in to check on the adults and scaring Lightning away…_

Lightning wouldn't come back to him. Lightning wasn't like that. Snow knew her well enough: that moment with her, that wonderful, blissful moment where everything was left behind in the dust, forgotten, and it was just the two of them standing there…that wouldn't happen again. Lightning would make sure of that. She had been scared away too soon, interrupted before she could get used to the situation. It was all because of him.

_Hope._

His conscience bit at him, reminding him that this was only a young boy with a crush acting stupidly, but his anger retorted hotly that Hope's stupidity had caused him to lose the one person he wanted more than anything else.

"Hope!" Snow bellowed, only a few hundred feet from his goal now. He saw the opening at the end of the tunnel, the proverbial white light. Hands curled into tight fists, his arms pumping insanely at his sides. The actions he would take when he confronted Hope were unknown. Pure emotion was driving him now on his rampage. The only thing he knew he wanted was to make Hope pay for the irreparable damage he'd inflicted upon his relationship with Lightning.

Hope had destroyed every moment, every treasured second, Snow had with Lightning. Now, when Snow had been slowly discovering where his emotions lay and was beginning to confront them head-on…now, when Snow was able to touch Lightning intimately for the first time ever…

_He destroyed it. _Snow wouldn't get that moment back. He wouldn't get Lightning back. And how the hell could he turn back to Serah after all these revelations he'd had of their relationship?

Lightning would never seek him out again.

_This is all Hope's fault._

"No you don't, big guy!"

Two horrendously strong arms wrapped around Snow's waist, a body slammed into him moments after. Fang's momentum rocketed them forward, sending them crashing magnificently into the stone floor and walls.

A small, deep gash blossomed above his eye and blood poured profusely forth from it, blinding him with a waterfall of scarlet. Fang groaned about a foot away, but Snow didn't give a damn about her. She deserved whatever pain she was in.

Struggling to his feet, Snow felt his anger beginning to bubble over, crossing the line into an emotionally-sparked insanity. "I'll beat your ass, Fang!" he growled. "Get the hell out of my way, now. I have a score to settle!" He took a step towards the end of the tunnel and fell forward again thanks to Fang's hand wrapped tightly around his ankle.

"Think about what you're doing!" she shouted, using her free hand to grab the back of his knee. Flipping him easily onto his back, she crawled up to his torso and, taking advantage of his pain and confusion, sat on his chest, pinning his wrists to the floor. "Is this really the best way to fix this? To go after Hope? He's fourteen, and you're a damn giant! You made a promise to his mother, remember?"

"I don't care!" Snow yelled, rearing up in an attempt to throw Fang off. "The little shit knows exactly what he's doing, even if he is fourteen!"

"What are you _talking _about? He hasn't done anything!" Fang said, pinning his arms with her knees.

Snow roared in frustration, but Fang wasn't about to be shaken off any time soon. She kneeled over him, pinning him down and prepared to knock him unconscious if need be. Snow continued to struggle for a few more minutes but he finally grew weary of it. The better half of his mind had also taken over by then, calming him down to a point where he could think logically again.

"He flies into jealous fits every time I'm with Lightning," Snow said, resting his head against the cool stone floor and gazing at the ceiling. "Every time I'm with her, he finds a reason to interrupt. _Every time, _Fang. This time…I don't know. Lightning won't come back after this."

Fang, sensing Snow's lessened desire to fight, released his arms but retained her perch on his chest. She ripped a small, loose piece of cloth from her sari and used it to help clot the blood that still seeped from above his eye. "He's just a kid, Snow. He doesn't know what he's doing, or what's happening because of it. You give him too much credit," she chuckled.

Shaking his head, Snow responded with, "No, I don't think you give him enough. He's a smart kid."

"Probably smarter than you, I'd reckon," Fang grinned, dabbing gently at Snow's wound.

With a weak laugh that was followed by a sigh, Snow said, "You're probably right."

The quiet pattering of light footsteps was heard by Snow, coming from nearby. When he glanced over his shoulder, he spied the very person they had been conversing about. Hope's countenance was dark, shadowed and burdened, and his eyes glowed with an angry light. "What are you _doing_?"

"Chatting," Fang said with a shrug. She and Snow met gazes, with the former arching a brow to the latter, who gave a shrug. "What's up, kid?"

"'Chatting'? Doesn't look like chatting to me," Hope said, his voice light, betraying the angry glare of his eyes. "First it's Serah that you cheat on, and now Lightning? Huh. Some hero."

Snow pushed himself up off the ground, sending Fang sliding down his chest. Suddenly Snow understood how it all must have looked. "It's nothing like that, Hope –"

"That's a new line," Hope said, rolling his eyes. "So original." He took several paces forward, his hands emanating extreme heat. "You're just going to keep screwing with everybody, aren't you? You're only looking out for yourself and what you want!"

"Hope, hey, come on, you're being dramatic—"

"Be quiet, Fang! What do you know? You haven't seen everything that's gone on with him and Lightning! You just condone the fact that he's cheating on his fiancée! You're…you're pushing him into it!"

"Hope, stop—"

"I came in here to see why Lightning looked so upset when she came out, and I guess I have the answer! I _told _you to leave her alone!"

"That's not why she's upset, Hope," Snow said hotly, getting to his feet. In the process Fang fell to the ground on her rear and she let out a grunt of annoyance but still stood up to join Snow's side.

"And, believe me, me and this big guy have other things to do than hook up."

Hope took another step forward, the spark in his eye gleaming in the dull glow of the heat that surrounded his hand. "Then why were you on top of him, Fang?"

"Because she was stopping me from getting to you," Snow replied, the familiar anger starting to return to him. "You did nothing but get in the way of me and Light, and now it's done more damage than you –"

"I did it because you shouldn't be with her!" Hope fumed. "You're engaged! To her _sister_, remember? Or did you forget about Serah when you were staring up Lightning's skirt?"

"Did _you _forget that you're only fourteen? You have no business sticking your noise into this! If you're jealous, then just remember that you don't have a chance with Light anyway!"

"Low blow," Fang coughed to the side. Snow ignored her wholly.

Hope, however, had all his attention focused on Snow and had heard, and understood, every word and the implication of them. His hand glowed with the pent-up energy of an unreleased spell, and Snow, sensing danger if something wasn't done immediately, dragged himself into action, grabbed Hope by his collar, and proceeded to try and shake _some _sense into him, but Hope took it as a threat and released the flame. Snow, unprepared for the blast and too slow to react, received the full brunt of the spell on his forearm. The skin blistered almost immediately and Snow, bellowing in pain and anger, pushed Hope against the wall, pinning him in the spot by his collarbone with his good arm.

Hope eyed Snow's arm with some fear, and Fang spied it with concern, but Snow barely paid any heed to the burning in his flesh. He forced it the thought of it out as he tried to take calming breaths so that he wouldn't retaliate against the young boy; so that he wouldn't break any promises that he made despite how much he wanted to beat some sense into this foolish little child.

"You shouldn't be with her," Hope said quietly, still eyeing the arm. He was probably trying to make things right in his head, to justify his reason for blowing up as he had.

"What the hell do you know, Hope? You don't know a damn thing about what's going on. The only thing you're riding on is your obsession with Lightning, not fact!"

"Not fact?" Hope mocked, his eyes darting from Snow's skin to level with his eyes. "'Not fact'? I was right next to you when you and Sazh were staring at Lightning's ass! I was there when you put the moves on Lightning when you were taking guard! I saw how you looked at her after I got my eidolon! What isn't _factual _about it?" Snow's mouth opened wide to speak, but Hope dared to cut him off. "Lightning's not Serah, Snow," he choked, and despite the discomfort that was occurring due to Snow's grip being tighter than he thought, Hope's eyes were still glued on his captor. "You can't treat her like some…some piece of meat, either - I see the way you look at her! I'm not going to let you hurt her any more!"

He felt Hope's sneakered feet kicking against his shins but it hardly phased him. Instead Snow kneeled down, lowering his arm from Hope's collar to his arm, gripping it tightly. The boy had begun gathering energy for another blast, and Snow didn't know if he could handle another attack of that nature—the pain coursing through his body was already nauseating, weakening him by the second and draining him of the will to carry on with this nonsense. Pure adrenaline, and his own pride, was the only thing keeping him standing now, but he wasn't fool enough to press the boy beyond the bounds of reason. Despite his small size, Hope was a powerful spell-caster, and Snow didn't need a second dose of that fireball. "You honestly think that Lightning's…that Lightning's nothing more than a piece of ass to me?" he said, his voice a quiet growl.

Fang, always the voice of reason, decided to step in once Snow's face turned an unhealthy shade of albino-white. "That's enough." She grabbed Snow's arm and gently tugged on it, signaling for him to leave. "I think you've said your piece, big guy. We've got to get this fixed up –"

"How can Light be anything else to you, Snow?" Hope's voice cracked: he was getting a bit emotional. "You already have _this_," he gingerly reached out and wrapped thin fingers around Snow's engagement necklace. "You already have everything you need. Don't mess with Light's feelings. Leave Lightning out of it."

"Can this wait? Snow, you've—"

A raised, blistering hand silenced Fang. "Despite what you think, I'm not pathetic enough to use Lightning like that. I wouldn't do that to her."

"You already did it to Serah, your _damsel. _You've already cheated on her." Hope said in a strong, low voice. "That's not very heroic, is it?"

Snow's burned hand balled into a fist, the sickening, gelatinous form his skin had adopted made his stomach churn - that weakness couldn't be shown. He drew his arm back, driving it forward with a strength he didn't know he possessed. Hope's eyes grew wide as saucers and gasped audibly from surprise before jamming his eyelids shut, right before Snow's knuckles connected—

-to the stone directly next to Hope's ear. Hope, realizing he was okay and in one piece, released a small, quiet sob of thanks and relief.

"'Not very heroic', huh?" Snow repeated through labored breaths. Black specks were beginning to float in his line of sight. _Cheating on Serah? "_Maybe you're right, Hope. Maybe you're right about all of this. Maybe I should just ignore Lightning for the rest of this damn trip, not look her way or anything and just let you drool all over her like you've been?" He chuckled weakly, mirthlessly. "You say I've been staring at her like a piece of meat? What about you? You did the same things I did!" Hope paused in his actions, looking startled. "You think I didn't notice? You were all for the adventure when you were walking with Sazh and I. You thought Light's chest was the most _fascinating _thing in the world earlier. At least I don't try to purposefully distract Lightning to get a good look down her shirt!"

Fang, after chucking at the thought of Hope admiring Lightning in such a fashion, rested a hand on Snow's back and Snow only faintly registered her persistent demands to 'stop this shit'. He was silently thankful she wasn't physically getting between them — that would only raise the tension and put Snow even further on edge. This needed to be settled, here and now.

Hope's eyes were brimming with tears, though why they were there was unknown to Snow. Perhaps he was becoming aware of how wrong he had been, about how much damage he had caused. Still, though, he fought to prove he was correct. "I'm not the one who's engaged to Lightning's sister! I'm not the one who promised Lightning I'd always be there for Serah!"

_Hope's right. _Snow couldn't keep his promise to Serah, not when…

He glanced over his shoulder at the sound of some sort of scuffle and saw Fang restraining Lightning, who seemed intent on forcing her way to Snow and Hope, probably to yell at Snow for starting the fight or something. He was confused by the angered expression that quickly clouded to worry when she laid her eyes to rest on Snow's injured arm, whose knuckles were still grinding against the stone.

Snow totally released Hope and watched him fall into a heap at his feet. Snow stumbled backwards, falling onto his behind, and looked questioningly at his arm, wondering how the pain became so intense so quickly. Skin was oozing at parts, literally dripping to the floor from his hand. Elsewhere, mainly from his wrist upwards, blisters had erupted, their trail only disappearing at Snow's shoulder to hide beneath the black cloth that clung uncomfortably close to him. Excruciating pain was threatening to drag him into the realm of unconsciousness.

One final glance at Hope, who had thrown his macho façade into the wind, was all Snow could take. The boy looked horrified by the sight of the damage he caused, or it could have been that Lightning was shouting at him, yelling at him for one thing or another.

Lightning then swirled into Snow's line of vision, but he didn't understand that it was because she was kneeling before him, trying desperately to get him to respond after he fell back against the stone floor. All he knew was that the world was quickly dissolving to black, and the feeling of guilt wasn't relenting any because, after all, Hope had been right. Snow couldn't keep his promise to Serah. Snow _was _cheating.

Hope had good reason to be revolted.

"Tell Hope's he's right," Snow said thickly, right before succumbing to the sweet, guilt-and-pain-free release of oblivion.

* * *

Snow tumbled back and forth, into and out of reality. He heard voices now and again, but their speech was muffled and made little sense.

He was still for some time, trying to recall what had happened. He remembered the caverns of Mah'habara, Lightning, running through the caves, away from him; his mad dash for the exit, Fang bursting into the scene...then Hope.

He shifted somewhat, as much as he could manage. What had he done? He had acted on rage at first, nothing more, and if he had succeeded with his initial intentions he would have harmed the boy he had sworn to protect. No, it was more than harm...at one point, Snow wanted Hope _dead. _Snow would have acted on his urge were it not for Fang's intervention, and he was extremely grateful, for once, for her meddlesome ways.

At one point he regained control of both his mind and body and willed himself back into consciousness. He took a mental inventory of the state of his body and was pleasantly delighted when he felt no pain, not even from his arm. He also couldn't open his eyes. Voices, this time much clearer than they had been, were the only thing his body could register.

"—ning's pissed. She hollered at me for not running off to get her, as if that would have helped," Fang snorted. "I had to stay and make sure you boys behaved. Which you didn't."

"I'm sorry, Fang. It's all my fault." Hope sounded miserable.

"Damn right it is! Next time try _talking _before attempting to protect Lightning's honor!"

Snow sniffled a little. His chest was cold. Where was his shirt?

Hope seemed exasperated. "I know, you said that four times—"

"I'll say it a fifth, then!'

Snow struggled to sit. He wanted to add to the conversation, but all that bubbled out from his mouth was a very distinct "aghfuck."

Almost immediately two sets of hands found his shoulders and forced him down again. "And so the Hero makes his dramatic entrance." Snow heard the sarcastic smirk through Fang's words and wanted nothing more than to push her off her seat and embarrass the hell out of her.

"Why do I feel like a dinosaur sat on my head?" Snow moaned. Now that he was beginning to wake the pain had begun to seep its way back into his body, gathering largely behind his eyes. He placed both his palms against his temples and pressed hard, hoping it would quell the thrumming between his ears. There was a lot of pain there to account for.

Hope stuttered nearby. "P-probably because of all the magic we had to use. I-it's too much, more than your body should have taken in one night, b-but…" he swallowed nervously. "Between Vanille, Lightning and I, we, uh, we managed to make your arm as good as new."

Snow flexed his fingers and was thankful they weren't crunching or oozing. "Thanks."

A loud thump prompted Hope into speaking again. "I-I'm sorry, Snow. I was…" a small sob resounded. "I wasn't thinking. I just saw Light all upset and you and Fang…and…"

Snow heaved himself up, trying his best to ignore his screaming muscles and pounding headache. Fang protested against his actions but he shook his head quickly and regretted the motion just as fast. He reached blindly for Hope, as he still couldn't muster enough strength to open his eyes, but when his hands continually fell on empty air he decided enough was enough.

His eyes fluttered open and immediately winced at the brightness of the moon. Night had fallen, obviously. The others, or the lumps of things in the distance that he assumed were the others, appeared to be sleeping. Fang, Hope, and Snow sat far from them, near the mouth of the cavern they were to travel in the morning.

Snow saw Hope's fuzzy outline in the moonlight and grabbed the confused boy by the arm, dragging him over to where Snow was sitting. "It's okay, kid," Snow mumbled, wrapping his not-so-tender arm around Hope's shoulders. Those same shoulders heaved silently; no doubt encouraged by emotions Snow had felt several times over these past few days. Snow closed his eyes, blocking out the horrid light, and Hope began to try and explain himself again. The noise hurt Snow's brain even more so he quickly silenced him. "You were watching out for Light, kid," Snow responded lightly, ignoring the growing migraine. "I can't be mad about that. In fact, you keep an eye out…watch over her for me when I'm not there." Though he tried to emphasize the last few words, it came out as a weak sigh.

Hope nodded once, but still he quaked under Snow's arms. Snow brought him into a tighter bear hug. "I'll leave you two alone, then," Hope said sleepily after some time, when his body ceased seizing from his tears. The words that followed were nonsensical and ended with a small snore.

Snow couldn't even think about the weight of what Hope said. He couldn't think right now at all, in fact.

"He's had a rough time," Fang said, smiling at the sleeping form of the boy who had tried to kill Snow just a few hours earlier. Snow jumped slightly-he had forgotten she was there-and the motion made him feel dizzy and nauseated all over again. He wanted to sleep, to rest, but his wishes conflicted with his unwillingness to wake Hope, who didn't seem quite so lethal when he slept.

"That makes two of us," Snow mumbled into Hope's mussed mane.

"We talked awhile. He gets it now." Her voice was low, for some reason. Though Snow couldn't see it, she held a cup and was staring into its contents. "Sometimes I forget he's just a kid, you know? He was just trying to protect her."

Snow grimaced. "I know." _And yet I flew off the handle because of it…_

"Don't be upset with yourself. For the most part, you did pretty good. Didn't kill anybody. I'd say that's a good day," Fang pat him on the shoulder once. Snow was about to ask what words had passed between Fang and Hope but then Lightning approached. He didn't know she was kneeling by his side, but her distinct scent of soft, delicious spices gave her away. His eyes flew open.

Snow's breath caught abruptly in his chest when she asked how he was feeling. "Never better," he said with a winning grin that he was able to summon entirely because it was _her. _

She touched his arm momentarily, and when she retracted her fingers a burning sensation, this one pleasant and not at all disfiguring, was left in her wake. "Get some rest. You'll need it." Without another word she snaked one arm beneath Hope's knees and the other supported his head. She lifted him easily, turning silently to walk over to where Sazh and Vanille slumbered, laying him down to rest on the soft grass. She followed suit soon after.

"At least she's talking to you. Good sign, right?" Fang offered her fur sash to Snow.

Snow grunted in reply, burying his head into the softest pillow he had in weeks. Fang, however, wasn't quite finished. "Don't blame yourself for falling for her, Snow."

_Why is this suddenly everyone's business? _"I thought you said you didn't see anything," he groaned again.

"No, I said I saw enough to know you weren't talking about an engagement," she corrected, taking a seat next to him. "Which means I saw everything. I just walked away and pretended to come back when I interrupted. I'm no dummy, you know."

_One day I _will _get my revenge on you. Just not today. I just…want you to shut up now._

"It doesn't matter. I know Lightning. She won't come seeking me out any time soon, if ever." His voice was stifled by the fur beneath his lips.

"At least you're not denying that something's there…"

_Awh, damn it. I'm too tired to think straight. I hurt too much. Leave me alone._

"Go to hell, Fang."

"Already there, remember?" Fang jabbed his shoulder carefully. "Good night to you, too."


	9. Faltering Will

**Note: I am so, so, so sorry for the incredible delay in getting this out. As some may have noticed, there were issues going on that prevented me from writing. I tried to write a bit more as an apology...take note, though, that this chapter revolves around Lightning and her thoughts. If you don't care about any of that, then just...sorry!  
**There's a oneshot that I'm trying to write that will explain a few things. Hopefully it will be out soon. Also, a big thanks to Sakura Moon yet again for her wonderful critiques and ideas! You're a marvel, really!  
**Another thanks to all who choose to review! Your words inspire me to continue writing. On that note, please feel free to leave a comment or review for this chapter!**

* * *

Lightning clutched her scarlet cape-turned-blanket tightly against her shoulders, bracing herself against the chilly gusts of wind that would blow sporadically through the fissure. Somehow the temperature decided to spite them and make an already miserable night even worse. She had believed she hated the heat of the tunnels, but the cold that had settled in was far more intolerable. At least if it was hot, clothing could be removed to remedy the situation, or one could go for, say, a swim. In the cold you only had what was on your back and the warmth of those around you. All things considered, Lightning had very few options to warm up, and she'd be damned if she'd snuggle up against Snow for additional heat.

_Snow. _Though she lay on a rather unruly and protruding root in the ground, Lightning refused to move. This was the furthest she could distance herself from the unconscious giant without rousing any undue suspicion. Her back was to him now, as it had been since she had removed herself from his side after healing his arm. She was exhausted from the exertion of the day and the amount of energy she had placed into curing Snow had drained her, but she couldn't fall asleep. Her mind made sure of that.

She was entirely incapable of understanding the events that had occurred that night, nor was she certain of which course she wished the events had taken. She had been continually berating herself for various things since first abandoning Snow in the tunnels; for not pulling away from Snow sooner, for not hugging in closer, for not punching him back when she had a proper reason, for not arriving at Snow and Hope's scuffle sooner than she did, for not allowing Hope to burn Snow to a crisp, for not letting Snow beat some sense into Hope…the list went on. Her mind ran in endless circles, wishing for one thing and countering her wish with a valid point on the next turn. The battle of scenarios and desires raged on, with no one side emerging as the victor. The mental exercise left Lightning feeling as exhausted mentally as she did physically.

But sleep still refused to claim her.

She flipped onto her back, her fingers delicately stroking the top of the soft grasses that surrounded her. Champagne hair spilled around her head in a shimmering halo, the moonlight reflecting off thin strands and splaying in all directions. A soft sigh escaped her, one that she didn't expect, and she was startled by its coming. Her mind blanked as she wondered about the origins of such a miniscule, breathy act of discontent but her thoughts were disrupted by a loud, strangled snore from Sazh. An angry chirp from the chocobo woke the nearby Vanille, who threw a slight tantrum that resulted in her chucking her Binding Rods at Sazh. When it fell short by many feet, she insulted the group's technician a bit more before rolling over and settling back into her slumber.

_Vanille's been acting so strange around me. _It was a sudden thought, as unexpected as her sigh earlier, but its stealthy entrance did not lessen its credibility. It was quite true. The two women hardly ever spoke unless the situation necessitated a conversation. Ever since Lightning had returned from Mah'habara's depths carrying an unconscious Snow over her shoulders and had healed him, Vanille had been acting…off. The younger female danced on her tiptoes whenever Lightning drew within three feet of her, a question dancing on her tongue, begging to be asked. Yet, instead of asking, Vanille's eyes followed Lightning _everywhere, _for reasons totally unknown to the Cocoon woman. They were glued on her, watching for something, and Lightning could even hear Vanille whispering intelligible words to Fang or Sazh—whoever would be nearest—when her back was turned. It was quite disconcerting. One time Lightning whipped around to catch the young girl in the act, but was rewarded only with a loud squeal from Vanille, followed by her toppling off the small stone she sat upon. Though entirely humorous, it did nothing to quell the whispers or the staring.

So aggravating.

A low, rumbling voice floated over to Lightning, originating where Fang and Hope stood on watch—Snow had woken, apparently.

_Snow._

The name sent fire through her veins and draped ice over her heart. It made her feel dazzlingly alive and so horribly empty at the same time. Everything about him, surrounding him, concerning him confused her. He was no longer the man she assumed he had been. That, in itself, was the root of her frustration. If only he could have continued to be that bumbling idiot and lackadaisical, irresponsible moron! Instead, he had rescued Lightning and the others from harrowing, sometimes life-threatening situations. He had proved himself to be a strong, capable fighter, a trusted friend to all, and a genuinely good man.

_Serah was right about him all along._

…_Serah…_

Snow being all these things--being so much more of a man than Lightning ever gave him credit for being--aroused emotions within her that had long been suppressed. He woke within her feelings she believed she had locked away long ago, never to return again; silly, romantic ideals like love, longing, and desire. Her heart ached to hold that which she could not have, that which she had to refuse for Serah's sake. Lightning would give up anything and everything to ensure Serah's happiness, even if it meant giving away the key to _feeling_ again. She couldn't betray Serah.

_And yet…and yet I almost did_. Earlier, when Snow's hand rested so easily upon her heart, she would have succumbed to any further actions on his part without much hesitation. She would have given in to her weak will, to her wants and needs. She would have swooped in to greet his oncoming lips with passion.

Those sturdy walls she had shed so much blood and so many tears to build nearly collapsed at the tender touch of Snow's hand against her skin. The gentleness of his fingers against her chest affected her in a way that no other man had, and she blamed her own weakness for Snow being able to have such a hold over her now.

She recalled with horror that moment of clarity when she understood Snow's intentions to kiss her and realized she would have willingly remained rooted in her spot. She had done nothing about it. She had not withdrawn from him. Choosing instead to remain in her position, she waited—eagerly—for their lips to crash together in a passionate display of her long-oppressed affection towards the man. Only by the grace of Fang interrupting had she understood, at the last moment, what she had been about to do and leapt backwards, safely out of harm's way, where she would be unable to betray her sister any more than she already had.

Snow's countenance as she marched from the cavern had very nearly broken what little dignity and will she had managed to scrounge up. She was furious with Fang for interrupting them, furious with Snow for putting her into such a position and it had manifested itself in her behavior and speech. She was cold and callous and the crestfallen expression Snow had worn on his face when she retreated spoke volumes. She had wounded him, deeply, perhaps, but it was for the best.

_…But Snow_! He should have known better in the first place! He should have behaved differently! Serah was _his _fiancée, the love of _his _life! Though their relationship had been short and Lightning had questioned it several times, he had still chosen to promise himself to Serah, and she'd be damned if she allowed him to forget _which _sister he was engaged to. Snow's top priority should be Serah. What the hell had he been thinking? _Me and Snow…that…it was almost some sort of affair. _It was unthinkable!

Lightning heard Hope sob quietly in the distance and her mood softened quickly. She wanted to rush over and make sure everything was still well, but Snow and Fang were there and her anger had yet to fully subside towards them…especially Fang. _Stupid idiot. It's her fault things got as far out-of-hand as they did. She should have gotten me sooner…_

Her thoughts slid back into mulling over Snow and his actions towards Lightning during the past few days. _Maybe Snow is like Hope was and he's just lost. Maybe he's just confused. Maybe he thinks I'm Serah and…no, wait, would he really think I'm her?_

Oh, did that ever put a sour taste in her mouth. The thought certainly made sense—it would explain all of Snow's attitudes and actions lately. Lightning as Serah's substitute? Made all the sense in the world. Why the hell else would he willingly want to spend so much time around Lightning? Why he always seemed to want to be near her or within an arm's reach? Why he tried so damn hard to make her smile? Lightning would be the first to admit the uncanny resemblance she had to her sister. Why wouldn't Snow try putting the moves on her? If he pretended hard enough, Lightning could easily pass as Serah…

The grass that she had tickled with her fingertips earlier was now clenched tightly in her fist and soon was tugged from the ground. Did he really think that she was Serah? Was it so hard to think of Lightning in a romantic light? Would she always be a lesser version of her sister? Would everyone always be unable to recognize that she was her own person with her own dreams, fears, and aspirations?

How much longer would she have to fight the bad guys for Serah to ensure Serah's happiness while completely overlooking her own?

She sat up and ran a green-stained hand through her tangled locks, feeling utterly exasperated. Once Snow married Serah, well, he would be responsible for fighting the bad guys. Maybe Lightning could run off and have her own damn life, for a change, and let Serah live her own happily-ever-after with the man of both the Farron girls' dreams.

_Ugh._

_This is all so stupid. _She was pining for a taken man; one that was engaged to her _sister_, no less. She was complaining about her lot in life. She wanted all that she could not have. She was acting like a spoiled child. It was time for Lightning Farron to finally grow up and accept fate and reality. Life was a bitch. She'd have to live with it because there was nothing else to be done. It had been her choice to be Serah's guardian, and she did not regret it. She would give anything to ensure Serah's happiness.

She stood and straightened her skirt for a moment before moving on to flatten the creases in her vest, noting all the while the silence that had fallen between the three who were still awake. She clenched her fists, trying to install the newfound resolve, which included ignoring Snow, into her brain as she tiptoed over to the small guard post in the center of the fissure. Her reasoning was simple: make sure the guards were still on duty. That was all. It had nothing to do with Snow being present, or to check on his condition. Nothing.

Fang glanced up at Lightning as she neared, but the Pulse woman quickly busied herself with pouring something into a cup. Lightning was satisfied by knowing the meddlesome woman hadn't forgotten the verbal onslaught she had been victim to earlier. Fang had deserved it, anyway.

Lightning kneeled next to Snow to check his arm and was slightly surprised to see Snow's failed assassin clinging tightly to his broad chest. The failure of a murderer was sleeping soundly within strong, warm arms, seemingly without a care in the world.

She later remembered saying something, probably something incredibly stupid. She neither knew her words nor particularly cared as the entire time she was trying to reinforce the newly erected barriers with an extra layer of ice and steel. She only spoke to distract Snow from staring at her as he had been.

Memories of occasions when Snow's muscled arms had saved her or held her dangerously close flashed to the forefront of her brain, threatening to send those walls crumbling again. Her attempts at constructing the barrier between them were almost shattered when she laid a gentle hand upon his arm without so much as a second thought.

_No._

In a fluid motion she rectified the mistake. It hadn't been her intent, but she needed to do _something _with her hand rather than hastily withdraw it and thus make her weakness all the more obvious. She quickly swept her hand away from his forearm and gathered Hope within her own thin limbs, drawing him close to her chest as she stood and walked quickly away. She had to retreat, lest she change her mind and reclaim the kiss that should have been hers earlier.

_No, Snow just thought I was Serah. That kiss was for her._

She placed Hope on a soft patch of grass beneath a scraggly tree, brushing silken hair from his youthful face as he nestled into a more comfortable position on the turf.

Hope would be the only one to receive her affection, albeit motherly in nature, she vowed to herself.

It would be a long, difficult road to ensure that she no longer succumbed to the traitorous desires of her heart, but it was a trail she had to embark on, alone, for her sister's sake. She was determined to succeed.

* * *

The following morning passed with little excitement. Hope stuck close to Lightning, hanging his head in a rather defeated manner. Lightning didn't question why: his battle with Snow the day previous had shaken him quite badly. He had confided in her that he was deeply regretful of his actions and that he wished he could take everything back but, of course, the past couldn't be changed. It was there, permanently, like a glaring flaw that could never be erased.

Lightning knew this far too well.

To be honest, everyone was rather silent. Fang or Vanille would toss in random comments about the passageways of Mah'habara, but never anything particularly insightful or useful. Vanille was still giggling madly every time Lightning drew within three feet of her, as she had been the night before, and the young girl's eyes were always mindful of Lightning's whereabouts. Whatever the hell her problem was, Lightning grew tired of it.

Sazh hummed tunelessly directly behind her. This had been his usual position for a few days now and his proximity was somewhat unsettling. She was annoyed enough as it was, and to have Sazh bump into her whenever she stopped was not easing her nerves. Finally she had to adopt the habit of sidestepping a bit before pausing in her tracks just to avoid a collision.

Snow was the worst of them all. The others would at least offer some semblance of a conversation throughout the day, but he refused. The most he had managed was a grunt for "okay" when Lightning decided to wake them all up rather early to head out. Fang had tried to argue that Snow needed his rest and that they should consider taking a day off, which resulted in Lightning impatiently, though gently, kicking Snow's hips and demanding for him to wake. One final, cold glare at Fang told the woman to shut up and do as Lightning commanded which Fang, with little more argument, did.

Though the silence was awkward and contrasted greatly against the normal behavior of the group, Lightning didn't complain much. She had been busy plotting her next words to Snow and the silence was a welcome opportunity for her to think in peace. She had never been good with such conversations, giving her all the more reason to require time alone, and eventually she came to the opinion that her words mattered little. The more cold and distant she sounded the better off everyone would be, in the end. She only needed an opportunity to speak to Snow, alone, without the prying ears of Fang or, more likely, Vanille.

At one point Snow stopped dead in his tracks to pull out Serah's tear, a sight that Lightning hadn't seen in some time. This made the rancid taste in her mouth from the night before return and she promptly jogged past Snow and Vanille, both of which had begun to speak of Serah.

_Figures that the first time he speaks all day has to be about Serah._

It shouldn't have bothered her. It shouldn't even have entered her mind. She should have been happy that Snow was remembering his fiancée and forgetting Lightning. This is what she wanted, after all.

But, damn it, did it have to be so easy for him to do so?

She waited, several dozen paces ahead, with Fang at her side. Fang kept tossing her questioning glances, always on the verge of speaking.

"What, Fang?" She snapped, eyes boring into Fang's skull.

"You're awfully edgy today," Fang retorted, folding her arms neatly over her chest.

Lightning rolled her eyes. This was not the day to be bothering her. In fact, no day was ever a good day to bother her. "Is there a point to this, or…?"

Fang peered at her curiously through her fringe. "You were awfully worried yesterday when you were healing Snow, you know."

Another eye roll. "Sorry if I didn't want Snow's arm to be completely useless. He needs it."

Fang clucked knowingly and didn't say much else until the conversation between Snow and Vanille ended and the two drew nearer. Without warning she shot a "You should let him know how you feel," in Lightning's direction, much to Lightning's fury, before joining Vanille's side once more. The group went into motion again with a fuming Lightning in the lead.

Let him know how she felt? Fine! She'd tell him exactly how she felt!

She'd tell him how his complete inability to understand anything beyond his own fists was infuriating.

She'd mention that his little tiff with Hope the day before was disgraceful and it had shamed her to see him behave in such a manner over such a trivial issue.

She'd remind him of how he had struck and even _bruised _her because he was too much of a fool to think before he acted.

His display in Mah'habara yesterday was totally unwelcome and misplaced. And who the hell told him he could lay his hand on her in the first place? He may have placed the bruise there to begin with, may have knocked the wind out of her and possibly broken her sternum, but still…that gave him no right!

Or who told him he could _keep _his hand on her chest when he finished healing her? Who said he could remain so close to her during that time? Who told him he could attempt to _kiss _Lightning?

She stormed ahead of Hope a few feet, much to the boy's distress. _Oh, I'll tell him how I feel, all right, Fang. _Lightning would tell Snow everything! She'd tell him that he has a _fiancée, _that he better keep his hands to himself or she'd chop them off. She'd tell him exactly what she thought about his mistaking her for Serah, about how confused she had been because of it, by how she actually may have fallen for the dumb bastard. She'd tell him everything.

And then, once she told him everything, she'd tell him to get the hell out of her life. Marry Serah and move to a city so far away that she'd never have to see him again.

She stopped short when she saw sparkling water stretched around her on all sides. It was some sort of spring or…something. It didn't matter. Barely taking time to admire the new change of scenery, she drew her sword and vented some of her anger and grief on the nearest monsters she could reach. Each slice of her blade was relentless and brutal in the assault—even Hope kept a safe distance, which was unusual for him, and Fang barely had a chance to join in the charge before the first grouping of beasts was finished off. Fang opened her mouth but was silenced by yet another hard glare from Lightning.

A second grouping of the same scaled beasts, which Vanille claimed were called Ceratosaurs, were unlucky enough be fed the full force of Lightning's wrath. Lightning stood between three of them and called a storm of bolts down around her, shocking the three creatures into a sort of paralysis, of which she took advantage. With her sword drawn and firmly within her grasp, she leapt high and dug her heel into the back of the nearest beast, thrusting the blade—now in its gun form--into its spine and pulling the trigger. The kickback propelled her upwards yet again, and from this height she called upon a devastating storm to drive her enemies into submission. The ceratosaur she had attacked quickly fell, and the other two were weakened while four others crawled onto the scene from the pools of water below. She bellowed a ferocious battle cry, flicking the gun back to the typical blade and allowing gravity to take over. She smirked in satisfaction as one of the idiotic creatures haplessly stumbled beneath her projected path and, with no small amount of pleasure, Lightning felt her blade slip easily past its scales and through the beast's heart.

By this point the others had joined in. Vanille and Sazh stood back-to-back, summoning spells simultaneously and sending them hurling at the nearest beast to reduce the cooldown time between their attacks. Fang was trying to distract the enemies by shouting and cursing vehemently, stomping her feet at times if all else failed. Her antics worked, and four of the remaining five began crawling her way.

Lightning charged at the straggling ceratosaur, who was making its way towards Hope, but stopped short when Snow burst into the scene, his fists burying themselves into the monster's body. Its scales were broken-- shattered, really, and a weak point was created within its scaled armor.

"Hope, here!" Snow shouted, pointing directly to the hole he shaped while advancing on the group that was beginning to surround Fang. Hope got the general idea and joined Sazh and Vanille, all three concentrating their efforts on the gap in the armor.

Another down. Two others, one being weakened from Lightning's first assault, fell until only two remained. Vanille and Sazh were on the sidelines now with Hope hovering over them, applying cures where needed. Fang, though still technically in the fight, was doing relatively little other than dancing on the outskirts of the field of battle, trying to hurriedly apply salves to her wounds. Snow and Lightning were the only two still truly fighting.

Lightning grabbed one ceratosaur by the tail and flung it towards Snow. "Here!" she snarled, bringing her blade up at the last moment to cut a long gash in the belly of the beast. It wasn't fatal to it, of course, but the blood spattered across Snow's handsome features. Snow sputtered, his jaw dropping in surprise as he tried to wipe the gore from his eyes.

"I guess I deserved that," Snow scowled once his face was cleaned, drawing his fists back to deliver a punishing blow to the reptile's head.

Lightning grunted in reply as she worked on finishing the one that hadn't been preoccupied with surviving Snow's fists of fury. To say he deserved it was only a slight understatement.

They finished the fight, each having battled their own monster in silence, and turned away from each other. Lightning cast Vanille, Sazh, and Hope a quick glance, asking if they were ready to move on. Vanille groaned, but the men, after seeing that the boss was in no mood for games, quickly agreed that they were prepared. Not bothering to check on the other two, Lightning set forward once again.

Another winding cave followed after they hopped over several rocky platforms floating in the water. The change of scenery may have been nice to the others, and the battles had certainly been an improvement over fighting rusted pieces of metal, but nothing had changed in Lightning's mind. She still bubbled over in anger and she still had every intention of cornering Snow when the opportunity arose. She was bound determined to shatter whatever illusion Snow had placed himself in. She'd prove that she wasn't Serah, once for all. She'd tell him everything, all right.

How much time had passed, she wasn't sure. When they emerged from the tunnel, though, Lightning noticed the position of the sun in the sky with some distaste. "It'll start getting dark soon," she said through gritted teeth. "Let's set up camp."

She whirled around to find Snow so she could pull him aside and vent her thoughts properly, but instead found him absent from the group. Puzzled, she cast quick, successive glances all about her, finally finding the man a good distance away from the others. She trudged over to Snow, who was standing stoically on a grassy field near the edge of a cliff, crystal dust floating lazily around him. In his hands, much to Lightning's dismay, was Serah's crystal yet again.

This stopped her in her tracks. How could she tell him to go back to worshipping Serah when he was already doing just that?

_This is all a mistake. I shouldn't talk to him now. I should just…_ she turned to return to camp but, when she looked up, she saw Vanille and Fang standing a few hundred feet away, their eyes locked on Lightning. Fang held up her index finger and shook it side to side.

_Dumb bitch. _She couldn't leave now. Fang wouldn't let her live it down. Lightning would prove that she was no coward. She would do this. She would confront Snow.

Lightning faced Snow again, collecting her thoughts. _Tell him everything. Tell him everything. Don't let him leave unscathed. Let him hurt like you do. Start strong so he gets the message._

And of course, she always did as her mind told her to do.

"How's Serah?" she asked nonchalantly, gazing distractedly at the sun. Even she was asking herself: _What the hell? _

This was not going according to plan.

Damn it all.

"Same as we left her," Snow replied, dropping Serah's crystal to his side as Lightning walked past.

She held her hand up and captured a floating seed within her palm, staring numbly into its depths. How could she tell him everything? She'd embarrass herself. She wasn't good with this sort of thing. She couldn't do it. He should just forget about her. Talking about the situation would only bring it back up. Besides, he had gotten the point during their battle earlier…

The seed imploded in the wind, its remnants scattered to the four corners of the earth. Snow strode forward a few steps, his head bowed in thought. "Feels…so far away now. Heh." He forced Serah's crystal into Lightning's palm, the same one that had held the seed. "Serah says she wants to talk." Snow sounded so forceful, almost…angry when he said it. Spiteful, perhaps. His hand lingered over Lightning's for a few brief seconds before moving closer to the cliff edge. Lightning held the crystal up, marveling slightly at the clear image of Cocoon reflected in its center. "She'd probably prefer it if you skipped the lectures."

He grabbed a large seed floating past and held it between both palms before glancing up at Lightning, a strange, foreign emotion brimming his eyes. Unlike the emotion he tried to convey, the meanings of his words were not lost to her. Immediately Lightning's anger returned tenfold and she drew her sword. In one fell swoop she cut the floating seed in half and, in his shock, Snow stumbled backwards and fell on his rear. "Hey!" he cried.

This was it. Now or never. She had to ask him. She had to know. "Once we're home, what's your plan?" Her sword was held steady at her side, a constant reminder of the damage she could inflict if prompted. The damage she _would_ inflict if Snow gave the wrong answer. "You're getting married, _right_?"

Snow pushed himself into a seated position. "What's that?" Confusion clouded his eyes and, much to Lightning's relief, blocked out the disturbing, alien sentiments that had been there before.

With a flick of her wrist her sword retracted back into a firearm. "Serah wants to know," she said lightly, betraying the surging emotions within her. Did he feel something for her, or was it all for Serah? Would he marry Serah, despite what had transpired between them? Would he postpone everything to think it through? Or was she just deluding herself?

Could she handle the truth?

Snow laughed, slightly uneasily. "Don't scare me like that!" Was he biding for time, thinking up an answer?

Lightning turned back to face Snow, crystal still in hand. She stared deeply into its depths, trying to sort out what answer she desired before asking the question. "You are getting married…" she quirked a brow towards Snow, "…aren't you?" There was no response from Snow, not immediately, and she began to worry. She didn't know what reply she wanted, but she knew she had to keep Serah happy. Serah _had _to be happy. Lightning couldn't be pining for Snow like this. She had to take matters into her own hands.

But the words she had rehearsed in her head wouldn't come. She didn't hate Snow. She couldn't act like she did, not now. She had to choose a different route to get her point across. "Don't you let her down, you hear me?" That sentence was the only one she could muster. With a careless toss she returned the tear to its rightful owner. Sadness, the depths of which had been previously unknown to Lightning, was threatening to overtake her. She didn't trust herself to speak.

Snow stood in one graceful movement and caught the tear easily. "Don't worry. This tear will be her last. I'll make sure of that."

Those words…those words would never be uttered for her, to her. Those words weren't meant for her. At the end of the day, no one was there to ensure _her _happiness, but Lightning and Snow were there to ensure Serah's. This is how it had to be. "That's all I need to know."

Now unable to even trust herself to look at Snow, she stepped beyond him, ever closer to the edge. She didn't see Snow's face fall, would never know that his tongue fought with his mind to speak words that were best left unsaid. His mind prevailed and once more his face was downcast, defeated. "We will see her, right?"

Lightning acted without thinking. Her fist found the small of Snow's back easily. She couldn't have thoughts of Serah not returning enter her mind. It..confused her to think of it. Of course, she would be saddened to lose her sister. Her despair would know no bounds. But, at the same time, it would allow Lightning access to Snow when they both sought the consoling embrace of the other…

"Don't go there," she spoke her thoughts aloud. She shook her head slightly and pushed forward on Snow. "No room for doubt."

She couldn't wonder about the what-ifs. This is how it had to be. Snow was for Serah. Lightning was Serah's guardian. She couldn't be the one to hurt her sister…especially not when Snow had every intention of marrying her. There was no room for Lightning. There could never be room for Lightning.

"You're right." Snow's words rang in her ears, confirming her silent thoughts.

"We'll see her again, and soon."

_You two can live happily ever after. You don't need me here to mess everything up. _"You convinced me of that, so stay strong." _You convinced me that there's no room in your life for me. Only Serah. You need her and she needs you. You need to be strong for her. Once you're married, I'm gone._

A tear, a damn tear, fell from her eyes as Snow spoke. "Don't worry." Snow glanced back and saw Lightning's head bowed under the invisible weight that she struggled with, that weight of guilt and fear. "We'll finish this and go see her…together."

Lightning looked up at Snow's back, marveling at his audacity to even speak of them being together when Serah returned. The thought sounded so nice, so warm…

…but she couldn't succumb to that. She had to be strong. She was being weak, she was crying. This wasn't Lightning.

_Pull yourself together…but not yet._

No. She would allow herself one last moment of weakness before becoming the hardened woman everyone expected her to be. In their last moment together at the cliff's edge, Lightning drew herself tight against Snow's back and allowed the tears to fall silently, watering the blades of grass at her feet. She took some small semblance of comfort in knowing that Snow didn't pull away in disgust by her failing walls. She was calmed by his scent, so earthy and masculine in nature. Mostly she thanked him for the quiet strength that radiated from him, comforting her and enveloping her in his warmth even though Snow remained with his back to her.

But that was how it had to be.

She pulled away after a few minutes, wiping the tears from her eyes before returning to camp with nary a backwards glance towards Snow.

_To ensure Serah's happiness…yes, this is how it has to be. _


	10. Cold Baths and Broken Promises

**Note: Once again, I am so, so sorry for the delay. I was plagued with issues that prevented me from posting sooner. At first it was this, then that, then no computer, then...yeah. Anyway, I'm sorry!  
**I hope you enjoy this chapter, really...I do!  
**Anyway, if anybody is still reading this after my complete inability to put this out on time, then I hope you can still review or leave a comment! Thank you and...sorry!**

* * *

Snow stood at the cliff side for well over an hour, remaining in much the same position that Lightning had left him in. He was facing perpendicularly to the camp, still clutching Serah's tear in his oversized fist. His mind raced at unimaginable speeds, drawing conclusions where there were none to be made, ignoring the obvious, and clutching at what he perceived to be straws of hope. He didn't know what he hoped for—maybe that everything wouldn't fall apart around him, or maybe that Lightning didn't mean what she had implied, maybe…

_Too many 'maybe's'. _His fingers clenched reflexively around the crystal in his palm. _I'm not sure about anything now…_

Thoughts gathered together for a fraction of a second, reminding him of what—or, rather, who—awaited him back at camp.

_I should have told her._

He had wanted to confess his doubts, to tell Lightning why he didn't believe he could remain committed to his promise to Serah. The words had fallen on his tongue more than once but had never stumbled past his lips. Always did they remain stuck in his throat, choking him until he swallowed each syllable down again, never to be uttered. His heart wanted those words to be spoken, but his mind-his instinct to survive-knew better. Though he hadn't recognized the fear and loneliness swirling in Lightning's eyes, there was no mistaking the intent behind her drawn sword, nor the resolve in her words.

_But still…I should have told her._

There was one moment where her resolve had crumbled. He had known she was crying, though he hadn't been entirely sure why. With one touch, a few simple words, he could have calmed her, possibly reclaiming the kiss that should have been theirs to share in the cavern of Mah'habara; he could have told her the dark secret lying within him. It would have been so easy to take advantage of her shattered walls for his own purposes, but that was a line Snow refused to tread past.

But it didn't _have _to go that far. He would have been satisfied by admitting everything and maybe, just maybe, she would have divulged that she, too—

_This is Lightning, _he reminded himself firmly. _Not some desperate woman from Bodhum._

He sighed in disgust at himself, rubbing his face roughly to help clear his muddled thoughts. The action was the first time he moved in ages. _What are you thinking about all this, Serah? _He wondered, holding the crystal up to the moonlight with his other hand. _You probably hate me by now, huh? _Self-pity began to creep in despite his attempts to banish it. _I tried, Serah, I did. I tried so hard to ignore it, but it was always there for her, for Lightning. Her hating me in Bodhum made things so easy, but now…now everything's different. I've seen Lightning, the real Lightning-the one that nobody ever saw before. I've seen a part to her that makes her human, a woman, and…_

White seeds erupted around him after he fell haphazardly to the ground. _I can't ignore it anymore, Serah. Please, forgive me. I hope you can understand._

"Me and Vanille were supposed to take watch tonight." Snow jumped back on his feet, startled up by Sazh's voice. "Calm down, kid," Sazh added when Snow brought his fists up, taking on an aggressive stance.

"I scare easy," an embarrassed, half-hearted smile was the only apology Snow could offer.

"I can tell," Sazh nodded, taking a step back despite Snow's already lowered weapons. "But uh, like I was saying. I sent Vanille to bed. She was about to pass out and it didn't seem as if you were going to sleep any time soon. Needless to say, I appointed you to take her place."

"Thanks."

Sazh crossed his arms over his chest, puffing out his cheeks and releasing a slow stream of air from between his lips. Snow felt Sazh's eyes on him as Snow turned his back to the technician.

"It's understandable, you know," Sazh began. "She's got nice legs."

Snow whirled back around quickly, surprised and dumbfounded by Sazh's topic of conversation. "What?"

"Nice legs," Sazh enunciated carefully, motioning to his own to make the point obvious. To clarify, he nodded in the direction of the slumbering Lightning. "Tight ass." Again, he motioned to his own, much to Snow's displeasure. "Toned stomach, fiery temper, independent, sharp as a damn whip…you'd be blind, stupid, or both to not fall for a woman like that. She's a rare find."

"Please," Snow begged, exasperation evident in his tone, "please tell me you haven't been talking to Fang."

A shrug rolled off Sazh's shoulders. "She spoke to me, actually, when you and Lightning were having your 'moment'. I try to not get involved in these little love games."

"You've done one hell of a job," Snow grunted, discretely pocketing Serah's tear. "You guys got nothing better to do than to gossip about things that aren't happening between me and Light?"

Sazh chuckled darkly at this. "I wish Fang and I could find something better to do, but for now all we got is to talk girl-talk about our fearless leaders." Another chuckle. "And don't deny that there's something there."

"Mind your own damn business." Snow retorted hotly. "There's nothing to talk about in the first place. Serah and I are getting married, _remember? _Or did you and Fang forget that?" Of course, Snow had no room to talk, but he was growing tired of everyone's meddlesome ways. As long as he could get them to shut up about the whole situation, even if only for a moment, he'd be happy.

He stormed past Sazh, back to camp. "Anyway, we're on watch. Let's go." As Snow drew closer to the fire pit he spied Vanille in the bright light emitted by the blaze. She was nodding off and waking with a start right afterwards, and he could have sworn there were traces of drool on her chin. He took a seat next to the young girl and nudged her gently with his forearm, telling her it was okay for her to go to bed now.

"I thought I'd stay up 'til Sazh got back," she yawned, her arms stretching high above her head. "You know, keep watch." Her eyes widened and suddenly she became much more alert. "Did your talk with Lightning go well? It didn't look like it at first, but—"

"Go to bed, Vanille." _Dammit, was everyone watching?_

She nodded uncertainly before yawning again. Sazh approached the two and Vanille offered her seat to him, curtseying cutely as she did so. As Sazh settled into position, Vanille bobbed over to the great divide between Fang and Lightning, laying down to rest directly between the two.

From there Snow's eyes slid over to where Lightning slept, admiring how wonderfully serenity claimed her in her slumber. Her mouth was a plump line rather than a thin scowl. The creases of worry that her forehead typically adopted were smoothed away; her jaw was a little less tense, which elongated her face and gave her, somehow, a more exotic appearance. Her hair was a tangled mess, and her arm was twisted oddly around her torso to cradle her head while her legs were drawn into her chest to keep her warm.

_How the hell can she do this to me? _Agitation ensued when he felt his growing discomfort.

Sazh noticed it, too.

"I am not sitting next to you," he said flatly, scooting his rock-turned-chair away. "We only need two people up and alert. We don't need a third member here."

Snow flushed a deep crimson, shifting uncomfortably in an attempt to hide. "Shut up, Sazh," he mumbled, thankful for the darkening sky so at least the extent of his embarrassment couldn't be seen.

"This wouldn't happen if you'd stop staring at her ass," continued Sazh, still fumbling with the rock. "So stop staring up her skirt, you perverted bastard."

"She wears _shorts _under her skirt, and I was not—"

"Then I sure as hell hope it wasn't _me _that caused _that."_

"W..what?" Snow spluttered, aghast.

Sazh waved it off. "Nothing, just…" A wary glance was cast towards Snow. "For the love of everything that I once considered sacred, go take a cold shower," he pleaded. "I beg you, go. Now." He pointed off towards the lake which, as luck would have it, was directly past Lightning. Sazh, being Sazh, let his finger fall in the general direction of the woman. The technician watched the annoyance budding on Snow's features with glee; which, as it always did with Sazh, ended up turning into a fit of silent laughter.

Icy eyes snapped back to Sazh. "You can burn in hell with Fang," Snow muttered, striding towards the lake quickly. Of course, his eyes still found time to wander over the sleeping figure that caused his forced march to begin with. As he passed, his eyes caught a glimpse of her exposed abdomen.

_Cold shower definitely sounds good right now._

When he returned from his freezing bath with his embarrassment noticeably lessened, Snow was greeted by a very relieved Sazh. "Thank the fal'Cie," Sazh breathed. "I was afraid you'd be staring at me all night with those hungry eyes—"

"Mention this to anyone," poison filled Snow's words, "and I swear I will tell Fang everything you have ever said about her." His voice dropped low. "I mean it. _Everything._"

Sazh's smile disappeared in a flash. "I'll kill you, boy."

"Not before Fang kills _you_."

The two glared at each other for an unknown length of time before Sazh lowered his eyes in submission. "You get off just by looking at Soldier Girl. Not my business," he mumbled. "But I do think it's more of a reason for you two to admit th—"

A large hand waved the thought off before it was finished. "She doesn't want that, okay?" Lightning made her point earlier: it was Serah or nothing. That's how it had to be, despite the alarm bells sounding in Snow's skull.

Sazh blinked. "Why the hell do you think that?"

Snow leaned back against the rock wall, debating on whether he should share today's, and yesterday's, events with Sazh. It could have been his weariness that damaged his judgment, but in the end Snow decided that Sazh knowing wouldn't hurt. Besides, Sazh understood women a lot better than Snow did. Maybe he could impart some of that Sazh-wisdom, if such a thing existed, on to Snow.

…_or something like that._

Snow retold the tale quickly, but left out no details. Every moment, from his thoughts in Mah'habara, to him striking Lightning, and then their conversation by the cliff was recounted. It took everything Snow had to banish the moisture that threatened to gather in his eyes, to exile the desire to bury his head in shame. He knew Sazh wouldn't judge him, but…still. _What if Serah can hear me?_

Of course, Snow had already admitted everything to her already, so it was a moot point. Regret and shame, however, have an odd side-effect known as _amnesia_.

The tale was spun, leaving Snow even more exhausted than he had believed himself to be previously. Somehow, though, during the retelling he had managed to find enough energy to withhold any passion from his voice. It had been a flat, monotonous story, one that belied the tumultuous state of his heart.  
His exhaustion also caused his arm to thrum in pain, but the ache was quickly mended by the surplus of Lightning's magic within him. _Even when you're sleeping and have no idea, you're still there helping me…_

"Sounds to me like you already know what you gotta do, Snow," Sazh said, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back against the air. "Why not do it?"

"Because it's Lightning." It was a simple response to a stupid question.

Sazh chuckled softly, muttering something to himself. The chocobo chick rose from the depths of curls it resided in, ruffled its feathers, and flew to Sazh's shoulders to hear whatever he said. "In all this time together, Snow, I've come to respect you both as a man and as a soldier," Sazh started, his intonation reflective. "But now all that's going out the window, just for these few moments. I'm going to talk to you like I would Dajh, like a son, 'cause you're still young. You don't know shit compared to me. I pray you never have to find out some of the things I know, either," he added ominously, shaking his head sadly. He ground his knuckles into his palm to recover himself.

"You, my friend, are confused. You don't understand what's going on and, damn it, neither do I. You thought you had all these feelings for Serah, now you find out they're for Lightning, but you're engaged and, well, I don't know what happened from there. What I do know, though, is that both you and Lightning are stupid." Snow began to protest, but Sazh bulldozed over him. "I'm not done. I understand your hesitation; I get why you're not jumping headfirst into this. That's good. You shouldn't. You have to remember Serah. But," he warned, "you're both trying to pretend nothing's there. That's wrong, and it can be dangerous. If your determination to ignore Lightning fails, then all hell will break loose and you'll end up feeling guilty about a lot more than just having _feelings _and needing to take cold showers."

Sazh paused and Snow waited in expectant silence. Sazh scratched the chin of the chocobo thoughtfully. "There's something there between you two. I ain't no old fool, not yet. I know," he accentuated this with a tap to his temple. "I know what you _should _do, but what _will _you do? Ignore each other and then, when you and Serah get married, pretend nothing ever happened between you and Lightning and just…ignore the tension? The bubbling romance? I mean, hell, you've known Lightning longer than Serah—"

"I know," Snow whispered, burying his hands in his face. "I know. But what am I supposed to do, Sazh? If I go for Serah, then both Light and I will be awkward around each other or I'll never see her again; in fact, I know for certain that I won't." Snow recalled her implied words from earlier with a twinge of dread. He definitely didn't want that to happen.

"If I don't marry Serah, then Serah will hate me, Lightning will kill me, and I end up despised and dead. Or, hell, let's be optimistic about this shit! Lightning just might decide to stay with me and, as a result, we never see Serah again because I broke her heart and Lightning ran off and stole her fiancée!"

Several deep breaths had to be taken on Snow's part to calm down. "Do you know how badly that would tear Light up?" He said quietly, head now bowed in thought. "Her knowing what she did to Serah? She wouldn't be able to live with herself, not when she consciously betrayed her sister. I told you what she said today. Lightning meant every damn word of it! What am I supposed to do, Sazh? What?" The last word was quiet, almost a whisper. Pleading.

"You're damned if you do and damned if you don't," Sazh quoted sagely, quickly checking over his shoulder to see if the others were still asleep after Snow's outburst. "But what would you regret less in the long run? Taking the chance or choosing the easier course?"

Snow stared into the flickering remnants of their fire, hands clasped, searching himself for the answer. If he were to leave this thing with Light behind him…would he always wonder?

_That's not even a question. I'll always wonder. _

He knew he would. Instead of seeing Serah in Lightning, he'd forever see his soldier girl in Serah. He wouldn't be able to love Serah for being herself—no, if he felt love towards Serah, it would be because Serah was his last reminder of Lightning. He wouldn't have a tear as a reminder, just a young woman. Just Serah. Maybe that feeling would fade with time, but Hope's advice rang true with either sister. Not matter for how long, nobody deserves to live in anyone's shadow.

Yet, if he went for Lightning, he had no guarantee of anything working out in his favor. In fact, he knew she'd refuse him and walk away forever; then he'd be without either Farron girl. Or, if Lightning did have something inside of her that pined for Snow, then…well, no. She would never hurt Serah. She would never do what Snow was considering.

"I've said it before, but I think you could use a reminder: if you aren't happy, Trench, you can't make anybody happy. Going back to Serah is just settling for her. You know that as well as I do."

Snow drummed his fingers against his knees nervously. He couldn't take it far, but…he could try.

But if he tried, he could never go back.

He touched his arm absently, feeling the warmth radiate from it as the pain was numbed by Lightning's skill. He _had _to try. There was no question about it, not anymore.

Snow spied Sazh out of the corner of his eye. "We're shit at standing guard," Snow mumbled. Much to his relief, Sazh laughed.

* * *

Morning came and found Lightning storming the mostly empty campsite, her eyes narrow, dangerous slits. "Who the hell stole my towel?" She cried, emptying out everyone's bags to find the evidence and, thus, find the culprit. Snow and Hope hid in a corner far from the scene, despite their innocence. They were well aware of the fact that they'd seem the most likely.

When no response reached her ears, Lightning whirled around and stomped over to where the two males, and only current residents of the camp, cowered. "Where is it, Villiers?" She hissed, pointing a thin finger in his direction.

Snow, on any other day, would have been able to respond with a quick and witty remark. Today, however, all he could do was make strangled noises while opening and shutting his mouth, words completely escaping him.

Lightning stood before them sopping wet. Her hair hung limply at her shoulder, dripping water onto her turtleneck (her vest was missing, presumably because she didn't want to drown that, either). A fresh droplet, stemming somewhere from the crown of her head, slowly seeped down her brow to the tip of her nose, pooling with other similarly located drops until, with their combined weight, it fell from a perilous height to crash against the hard ground below.

The drama of the droplet would have amused Snow greatly, were it not for the look of death that he was currently on the receiving end of. However, that being said, at least Snow was smart enough to keep his eyes on Lightning's face—Hope hadn't achieved that higher level of understanding yet. He stared hopelessly at her skirt, which clung tightly to her thighs and buttocks.

Of course Lightning completely missed this. Hope would forever be that innocent little boy in her eyes, despite his previous attempted murder only two days before.

And his constant staring up Lightning's skirt some time ago.

And his staring down Lightning's shirt a couple days ago.

No, Hope's wandering eyes went unnoticed by the fire-breathing Lightning.

'_Innocent little boy' my ass._

"Villiers. My towel. Where is it?"

Somehow Snow rediscovered words again, probably driven on by the irritation of watching Hope stare at Lightning's thigh with evident yearning. "I don't know!" An unnaturally high pitched voice escaped Snow, making him cringe. Even Hope was dragged from his lust-driven stupor to cast Snow a _what-the-hell-was-that_ glance.

_He's really good at that, _Snow thought suddenly, and then shook his head. "Ask Sazh! I didn't do it! Why are you blaming me?"

Now it was Lightning's turn to give Snow one of her _why-the-hell-do-you-think-I'm-blaming-you_ eye-rolls.

It was going to be one of those days.

"Light, I didn't steal your damn towel," Snow responded, exasperated. "It's just a towel! Go ask Fang or Vanille for theirs."

Her eyes narrowed even more until they were deadly slits. She took a step inward, causing Hope to gasp sharply in excitement as even more leg was revealed. "If you didn't do it, then who did? Hm?"

Though he could think of a thousand reasons why every member of their group would steal Lightning's towel, Snow didn't dare mention it. They'd make him pay later, as they were all somehow becoming masters of practical jokes and revenge. So, instead of answering honestly, he gave her a pleading look and said, "I don't know."

Hope, still enraptured and with limited blood flow to his brain, responded with "Sazh."

Lightning rounded on him now, kneeling down to Hope's level. Normally this would be a less-threatening posture, but Hope saw it as anything but. He gulped visibly and raised his eyes to Lightning's face, which was a smart move on his part.

"Sazh?" She repeated, hate in her voice. "Why would Sazh…?" she paused in her speech, her mind already at work. A light went on somewhere and she stood rapidly again, now glaring at Snow.

_How does he get off so easy? _He thought bitterly, but then stifled a laugh. If it really was Sazh, then Hope would definitely pay. "What now?" Snow drawled.

"You had something to do with this." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A false one, but a statement nonetheless. He didn't even have time to defend himself as Lightning spun on her heel and retreated to where Sazh was last seen.

Both Snow and Hope breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought we were goners," Hope said, wiping invisible beads of sweat from his brow. Snow conferred upon him a scathing look.

"You?" He said incredulously. "You get away with murder when it comes to Lightning. I didn't even _do _anything and she wants to kill me…and I wasn't the one staring at her legs with my tongue hanging out."

Hope was quiet for a few moments. "Do you think she noticed?" He said finally, his eyes carefully avoiding Snow's.

Thoughts of getting even with Hope entered his head. _Oh, I could scare the shit out of him right about now, _he thought vengefully, but, as it always did, his conscience got the better of him. "I doubt it," he admitted, disappointed at his inability to go through with his cunning scheme. "Sazh's gonna kill you, though. I hope you know that."

Hope's face paled when he heard a pained yelp in the distance. "I never thought of that," he said weakly. "I don't want to die."

Snow smiled and shouldered his pack, which had been forgotten at his side. "Don't worry, I'll watch your back. You know," he tossed in, "to show you that I forgive you and everything."

Hope gave an uncertain smile that turned into a lopsided grin. "Thanks, Snow."

They both turned quickly to see Sazh emerge from the brush to their right. "Well, isn't this a damn fine moment. So warm and cuddly. Would you like me to give you two a moment alone, before I exact my revenge? Or would you rather I do it now and get it out of the way?"

It was now Hope's turn to be terrified into silence. He slinked away behind Snow, whose only protection against the mad-eyed Sazh was a little stick that lay pathetically far away. "What are you talking about?" Snow said, attempting his best befuddled expression that instead appeared to be slightly frantic.

Sazh began rolling up his sleeves. "'What are you talking about?'" He thundered. "'What are you tal'—do you know what that madwoman just did to me? " he bellowed, scaring the chocobo chick from its nest. "She set my damn pants on fire _while I was wearing them!" _Sure enough, a thin trail of smoke lazily wafted up from Sazh's groin. "I won't ever be abl—what the hell is so funny about that?"

Snow was unable to breathe. He had fallen to the ground at some point, but didn't really remember it happening, and was currently gasping for a breath of air. "Hope," he wheezed, pushing himself up with great effort. "Hope, she stole your idea…"

Understanding dawned on Hope's face, along with misplaced pride. "She did!" he squealed. "_I _was going to set your pants on fire! I told Lightning one night that I was gonna do that, and then she went and stole my idea and did it herself!" He clutched his side as he cackled devilishly, much to Sazh's agitation.

Sazh lowered his head, ready to charge and tackle Hope to the ground when Lightning emerged from the tall grass behind Sazh and grabbed his shoulder, throwing Sazh back onto the ground. "Where the hell is it, Sazh?"

Sazh groaned and rolled on the ground in pain. Snow ceased laughing—Lightning was taking this far too seriously. "Light, calm down—"

She rounded on Snow, drawing her fist back. "I didn't ask you!" Her fist flew through the air, but Snow was, by now, a master of being decked. Through practice he also figured out how to _not _be hit. He raised his hand and caught the dangerous weapon in the nick of time, holding her tiny fist firmly within his larger one. "I just want my damn towel back! That's all! Just give it to me—"

"What is _wrong _with you?" Snow demanded, shaking Lightning gently and, for his own safety, he pinned her arms to her side as an afterthought. "It's just a piece of cloth! You're fine!"

"Can't I have anything of my own around here? Why the hell does everyone have to take my stuff?"

Something clicked in Snow's brain, connecting her current outrage over a missing towel to a former conversation. "Hope, Sazh, leave. Now." Hope was hesitant at first but seemed to think better of it after a few seconds. He helped Sazh to his feet and together they left through the same patch of grass that Lightning had come through.

"Now," Snow said, rounding on the still-squirming Lightning. "This isn't about a towel. What's wrong, Light?"

She kicked violently at his shin. It hurt like hell, but he'd be damned if he'd let her go. "Nothing's wrong with me, Villiers. You know what I want. Give it back."

"I don't have a clue what you want, Light. It's more than a towel, though. I got that much." His eyes burned into hers, his icy blues cast ablaze.

"What do I want? I want to be dry and warm. I don't want to be sopping wet so you idiots can sit there and stare at me like a piece of meat. I just want a towel, not to be degraded!"

"You were pissed before that even happened! Don't lie to me, Lightning!" _I know she's lying. She can't be telling the truth. I don't know how I know, but…I do. I know._

Lightning's struggle continued noiselessly for a minute before ceasing, her eyes growing dark in contemplation. "It doesn't matter," she sighed finally, the tension in her body lessening. "It doesn't matter anymore. Let me go, Snow. Just…let me go."

"No."

Curious, pale orbs lifted and met Snow's. All that anger from earlier melted away and, for the briefest of moments, Snow witnessed something incredible: hurt, pain, and fear swirled around and radiated from Lightning. Her walls crumbled then, just for a moment, and she was no longer the half-mad soldier from a few minutes ago; no, now she was a frightened woman, scared of something that Snow was not privy to. Her world was crumbling away from her, drifting endlessly, and her towel-an everyday thing in her life-going missing was just the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

"I'm not letting go, Light," Snow breathed quietly, daring to pull her in a little closer. Lightning didn't fight the movement, though her body stiffened.

"You need to let go, Villiers," Lightning warned, but it was a weak caution at best. Her weary voice and skittish demeanor proved that. He took advantage of her apathy and drew her flush against him, hugging her tightly to his body, his chin coming to rest against the soaked mop of hair atop her head. He felt the cool lake water soak through his clothes, seeping onto his skin and sending chills through his body, and yet he didn't mind much—he'd seize his opportunities with Lightning when he could, no matter the condition either of them were in.

"I won't, Light. I'm too stubborn to die, and I'm too stubborn to let go."

An orchestrated silence fell between them, neither one knowing what to say next. They knew they shouldn't be this close, knew they were on dangerous ground. Snow knew that he was one slip-of-the-tongue away from admitting everything. He knew that she was one mistake away from leaving him.

He didn't want her to leave.

"I'm not Serah, Snow."

Snow wasn't sure how to take this, and he wasn't happy that she had to bring it up just then. He sighed and held her tight against his chest, despite her squirming. "I know you're not Serah, Light. Believe me. I know."

"Then why the hell are you doing _this_?" Her protests became much more aggressive in her effort to escape his clutches. Snow relished her warmth one final time before releasing her.

"Because," he said simply, shrugging once, "you're Lightning. That's enough for me."

Snow began to walk away to allow her to mull over what he had just admitted, however vague the admission may have been. He was stopped when slender fingers wrapped around his wrist, around his brand.

"You promised. You promised Serah." She was accusing Snow.

_She's always accusing me of something._

"I promised to make her happy by marrying her," he said slowly, still facing forward. "I have reasons to believe I can't do that. If Serah's not happy, then…well, she deserves better."

Her grip tightened until it became painful. "Don't you break her heart, Snow. Don't break your promise to my sister."

At this he turned slowly around, his countenance thoughtfully curious. "What's worse, Lightning? Keeping my promise when I know I won't be able to be a proper husband, or breaking it and letting her find her happiness somewhere else?"

Lightning didn't respond and so Snow took his cue. Following Lightning's example from the day before, Snow left to rejoin the others without a backwards glance.


	11. Almost Right

**Note: Agh, man. I know. I suck at updates. I'll try and get better! At least now school is out and finals are done, so...yeah. I is sorry. -hangs head-  
** Is anybody still out there, though, I wonder? I am sorry, my dearest readers!  
**If you would like to, I'd love to know if you're out there! Your reviews are what keep me going with this story...they are quite inspirational. Thank you for being such wonderful readers!**

* * *

Lightning remained rooted in her spot, blinking repeatedly at the gently swaying brush before her—the only sign that Snow had been present just moments before. She had watched him leave; watched as his broad shoulders slipped between golden grass, never once glancing back to capture Lightning's expression or to see her reaction to his admission. Even if he had he would have been met with an impassive face; one that, as always, masked any inkling of emotion that tumbled through her. Her face was as stone, her feet rooted firmly in the soil below, but her mind was far from being quite as stable as she managed to appear.

He had pulled away from her, admitted that perhaps he wasn't the right man for Serah after all. Under any other circumstances—or, hell, before this l'Cie charade—Lightning would have been thrilled to hear this new revelation. She had known all along that the brute wasn't proper husband material for Serah. He was a good man, that could no longer be denied, but he and Serah were too different in too many ways. Serah was an intellectual, whereas Snow was a brawler. Serah typically would use fair judgment to solve a situation and Snow would run in, fists ready, and be guided only by his passions. Snow wasn't ready to settle down, not yet, and Serah was all-too-willing to give up her chance at a future to be with him. She was young, he was foolish. It never would have worked. Lightning knew this since the beginning of their fast-track romance.

Now, though, the situation was backwards. Snow wasn't the man for Serah because, of all things, he thought Lightning was the right sister for him. _Where the hell did this come from? _A day before—a single day—Lightning had been convinced that Snow thought her to be Serah, that the mistaken identity would be the only explanation for his behavior. Now, less than twenty-four hours later, he had the balls to say that he has 'reasons to believe' he's not the proper man for the other Farron girl because..because Lightning was enough for him? After the anguish he put Lightning through the day before, he thought he could just waltz up to her and say that?

But of course, after Lightning reminded him of his promise to Serah and after his response, she had been tongue-tied. She couldn't say a damn thing because her mind blanked entirely at the disguised meaning of his words. She knew what he was getting at and yet she couldn't wrap her brain around it. Snow would give up Serah, for her? _Serah? _The little princess whom everyone adored? That everyone loved? That every boy pined for? He'd give all that up…for Lightning?

The girlish, fuzzy feeling that the thought gave her was short-lived, however. As soon as that understanding reached her brain, a newer, darker one emerged as well. _He was abandoning Serah_. Leaving her for the next best thing, which just-so-happened to be Lightning. He was making a mistake, a huge one…one that could cause Serah a lifetime of pain and bitterness. Nobody handled abandonment well, especially not an orphaned eighteen-year-old.

Not only that, but doubt was beginning to creep into Lightning's psyche. During her training she had heard of trauma-induced bonds. When two people undergo the same stressful, life-threatening situation a very unique link forms between them, one that cannot be shared with anyone else outside of that experience. These bonds were exceptionally strong. The shared event forces a person to completely and totally trust those that are suffering alongside them, believing that those individuals were the only ones capable of understanding the pain that was felt by them. Perhaps Snow was misunderstanding this emotion and turning it into something else entirely? Maybe he couldn't see it for what it was?

_But…he knew I wasn't Serah all along. _

What little space in her mind that she initially allowed that mindless thought to enter slowly began to expand. The idea that Snow's recent actions towards Lightning were purpose-driven, that they weren't blinded by false illusions slowly eased her doubts into the most girlish, mind-numbingly pointless notion of all. Somehow, all the facts and possibilities of the situation were drowned out for a few blessed, brief moments and all she could think upon was that Snow had intentionally acted romantically towards Lightning.

She never thought she'd see the damn day when that happened.

Lightning closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, banishing the inane thoughts instantly. _This is stupid. _It was imbecilic, really. Illogical. She had to get back to the real issues at hand. She couldn't stand here and clap her hands wildly because a boy liked her. That was childish. That wasn't her.

Footsteps appeared in the soft dirt beneath her small feet as she began pacing to and fro, her shoulders bent beneath an invisible burden and her eyes cast downward. She clasped her hands behind her back and appeared as an embodiment of a general, hard at work devising the best tactical maneuver to achieve victory.

Snow was trying to place the choice on her, perhaps to shift the blame slightly into her lap if something did come out of this. _Not that it would. _But, more than that, he had, if she understood Snow correctly, doubts about marrying Serah all along. If that was the case, then why would he promise that Serah's crystallized tear would be her last? Obviously it wouldn't be, if he went through with his half-assed scheme. More than that, why would he promise to see Serah _together _afterwards? Wouldn't that almost be like rubbing salt in her open wound?

She paused briefly in her pacing and clenched her jaw, throwing a fist through the air at top speed. Most importantly, if he had doubts, then why was the conversation at the cliff side even necessary? Had it all been one giant lie, everything that he said? She had placed so much of…_her _into that conversation. She had poured out her soul, even offered her own tears…and Snow was lying to her? Why didn't he just _say _he wasn't sure if he could go through with the marriage?

The thought that she had threatened Snow with a drawn sword never entered her mind as she contemplated.

As she paced and pondered, a new voice began to wake within her; one that, at first, was little more than a whisper acting as an undercurrent to the outrage she currently felt. As she released some steam by stomping about, the voice became more prominent until, finally, she recognized it as the tiny voice of wisdom that she had come to rely on of late. One that was always appropriate for the situation. One that had yet to fail her.

_What the fuck is going on?_

Lightning sank to her knees, but not in despair. She was overwhelmed by bewilderment and exhaustion, and slight embarrassment. One moment she had been a raging lunatic hell-bent on finding the person that stole her towel to deliver them personally to a hungry behemoth, the next she was commenting to herself on how wonderfully she fit into Snow's arms, and then she was all by her lonesome and trying to figure out what the hell Snow was doing to her.

She was a walking time-bomb of emotions and…and hormones. She was psychotic , to a degree. Her emotions were all out of whack—one moment she was giddy at the possibility of being with Snow; furious over a missing towel and because Snow was going to abandon her sister; proud that she knew Snow wasn't meant for Serah all along; and, above all, so damn confused that she couldn't figure out which way to go to find camp.

"This is pointless," she mumbled aloud to nothing in particular, sliding her hands through the dirt. She shifted her weight into her arms and stood quickly, wincing when her head pounded against her skull when all the blood rushed to her lower limbs.

She had to clear her mind of this, of Snow. A distraction was called for; a distraction of epic proportions. One quick glance downwards, towards her still-soggy clothes reminded her that she was still minus one fluffy, warm towel.

_That damn piece of cloth started this in the first place. Whoever took it is going to burn in hell._

The thought of apologizing to Sazh for setting his pants on fire never entered her mind. Lightning didn't particularly care if he was innocent or not—he had annoyed her with his lewd stares. That was cause enough to set anyone's crotch ablaze.

_Who has it, though? _Sazh had pleaded innocence, even while he repeatedly bashed his own groin to set out the flame. Though she would love to interrogate him again, just to see the fear in his eyes once more, she knew it would be a waste of time—and time was one thing that was against them. Hope would never steal anything of Lightning's, she knew that much. Snow…

She shook her head quickly. _Fang and Vanille._

Lucky for her, she knew exactly where to find them.

Lightning retraced her steps back to the lake with relative ease. Despite the length of time that had passed, Fang and Vanille were still enjoying the brisk temperature of the lake as they paddled across its glassy surface lazily, acting as if their brands weren't sprouting new arrows by the day.

Then again, Fang's brand was, in her own words, "FUBAR" anyway, so maybe it wasn't as big of a concern to the elder tribeswoman.

Lightning cleared her throat as she came to a stop at the water's edge. Vanille paused in her swimming to wave enthusiastically at Lightning. Fang stood shamelessly tall in water that barely covered her navel just to offer a salute, and an appraising eye that absorbed the sight of the still-sopping Lightning and the clothes that clung to her every curve.

"I bet Snow was happy to see you."

_Of all things to mention first…_

She gritted her teeth to keep the barrage of insults at bay. "Sazh and them didn't seem to have any idea where my towel is," she said evenly, examining her nails individually. "I even set Sazh's pants on fire. He still claimed he had no clue."

Vanille clapped a hand over her mouth, though more in an attempt to stifle her giggles than to hide her shock. "Did he think you were serious, Fang?"

"Who said I wasn't?" Fang winked at Vanille from across the width of the lake and then slowly began paddling back towards the shore where Lightning stood. "He saw me dig through your pack earlier," Fang explained easily, entirely unaware that the missing towel shenanigan had just sent Lightning over the deep end. "I told him that if he kept his mouth shut, I'd let him take a ride on good ol' Ragnarok here next time we take watch."

Lightning tried her best to not appear as revolted as she felt. _Never put Fang and Sazh on guard together. Ever again_. The thought of waking up to nature's call and finding those two tangled in lust-driven combat sent shivers down her spine. "With…Sazh? For my towel?"

Fang's grin was blinding as she set foot onto the sandy shore, exposing all her tanned glory for the world to see. Behind her, still bathing, Vanille shook her head. "You have no idea how far she'll go to get her way." The younger Pulsian laughed suddenly. "One time she was getting horrible grades in school—"

"Lightning doesn't need to know about my private tutoring sessions." The tone in Fang's voice was severe, but it was belied by the grin she still wore. Fang produced two towels from her pack, offering one with a flourish to Lightning. "No hard feelings?"

Lightning accepted the outstretched towel and began ruffling her hair gently to soak up the excess moisture. "So, not only are you a thief, you're also a whore?"

"And Ragnarok. Quite a resume, yeah? Anyway," Fang began the process of dressing, which took a surprisingly long time considering what little she wore. "Too bad it wasn't Snow that saw me. I wouldn't mind asking him, but you Farron girls both have your claws in that one…"

Neutrality was becoming a hard expression for Lightning to don. "He's marrying my sister," Lightning replied coolly, the towel lying momentarily forgotten in her hands as she glared at Fang. Vanille, sensing trouble, quickly began the ordeal of returning to the shore.

Fang's gaze leveled with Lightning's for many long seconds before she shrugged and carried on lacing her sandals. "I bet Snow was happy to see you," she repeated.

Once more Lightning winced. She had come here to _escape _any reminder of Snow, not to have the man constantly shoved in her face. Typically, the comment probably would have been enough for Lightning to cause some damage to the nearest face, but she wasn't entirely in her right mind…and the image of Fang and Sazh copulating in the bushes was still burning brightly at the forefront of her mind.

Cherry-blonde pigtails appeared at Lightning's side. "Snow wasn't very happy last night. At all. We stole your towel because we wanted to cheer him up, 'cause we figured he'd be the first one you'd accuse—"

"How do you know Snow wasn't happy?" Lightning demanded, her eyes narrowing on the tiny, half-dressed figure beside her. "You went to bed early."

Vanille bit her lip hesitantly. "I wasn't really tired," she responded quickly, her eyes darting away. Suddenly her countenance brightened and she met Lightning's stare full-on. "But I did hear what Snow talked about. He's got it pretty bad for you, you know!"

She felt it coming, but could do nothing to stop it. Lightning blinked stupidly. "What?"

Fang stood after having finished clothing herself. "How can you possibly be our leader if you're so damn blind?" She rolled her eyes. "I mean, come on, even _Hope _can see it, which is saying something. Snow's by your side every chance he can get, always trying to be near you, around you, get you alone…it's sickening, really."

"I suggest you stop talking. Now." The fact that everyone seemed so very aware of the situation slightly unnerved Lightning, who was barely grasping it herself. Her not-so-close bond with Vanille and Fang only compounded this issue.

"Tough pill to swallow, or is it just easier to ignore?" A brow arched high towards the sky as Fang's mouth rolled into a smirk.

"It would be hard," Vanille sighed, abandoning Lightning's side to get dressed herself. A few grunts were heard behind a bush as Vanille struggled to pull her shirt over her head. "I mean, think about it. You probably feel like you're—" grunt "—betraying Serah, or that you're doing the wrong thing, or that Snow's making a mistake, or—" another grunt "something, right, Lightning?"

Lightning didn't grace her with a response.

"True enough," Fang shrugged, kneeling down to readjust the contents of her pack. "I never met Serah, so it's easy for me to forget."

Her insides began to burn at the callous mention of Serah. Lightning knew where they were going with this conversation, and she was entirely sure that she was going to hate it. Sure, some would think it nice to have a cheering squad, but Lightning didn't want anyone in her business. Besides, they weren't in Lightning's shoes. They wouldn't have to live with the consequences.

Fang continued with her train of thought as she slowly began removing the items in her bag. Ironically enough, most of the stored items seemed to be strings of animal fangs collected throughout their journey. "Snow's a big oaf, but he's not as dumb as he seems. He's a good man. I think he knows what he's doing here…and Serah seems like a good girl. I think she'd understand."

Arms crossed tightly over Lightning's chest as she bit the inside of her cheek, attempting to keep her temper in check. "Two things," she stated crossly. "First: you don't even know Serah, so don't claim to know how she'll act. Secondly: stop talking. Really. And hurry up and finish changing, Vanille. We need to get going."

"That was three things, O Wise Leader."

Lightning saluted Fang with two fists, one finger raised proudly in the air on each hand.

"Cute, cute," Fang said, yawning and slowly stuffing her hand-made necklaces back inside her pack. "Did Snow teach you that fingering?" The nonchalance with which she spoke, and the innocent fluttering of Fang's eyelashes, nearly caused Lightning to lose all restraint and beat the living shit out of Fang. Somehow, someway, she refrained. But only just.

The tinkling of beads replaced Vanille's grunts. "Oh, hush, Fang. You're not helping."

Lightning mumbled incoherently as she resumed drying herself off once again. "There's nothing between me and Snow," she said dully, cursing how rehearsed it sounded. "He's my brother-in-law." A pause. "Almost."

"Almost," Vanille repeated sadly, appearing from behind the bushes fully clothed to lay a caring hand on Lightning's elbow. "Right."

A rude noise emanated somewhere from where Fang stood. "I saw you two in Mah'habara. If I hadn't walked in, there would have been steam billowing out of the place. Well, before Hope blew Snow's arm to hell, anyway," she added thoughtfully. She shook her head. "But I digress. Don't deny that there's something there. We're not idiots, and you're horrible at hiding it. You can't even stand by him without getting this look of aggravation on your face—"

"Snow annoys me."

"Right," Vanille grinned.

The invasion of personal space on Vanille's part, and Fang's amazing capacity to annoy the hell out of Lightning was beginning to _really_ rub Lightning the wrong way. "I don't want to talk about this," Lightning announced. She turned sharply on her heel and made to leave the waterfront, but two hands grabbed her arms and yanked Lightning backed with tremendous strength.

Lightning wasn't the least bit surprised to see that it had been Fang that had restrained her. Only she and Snow were physically capable of possessing enough strength to hold Lightning back.

"You're going to hear us out. We've bit our tongues long enough. Almost, what…three days, Vanille?" Vanille nodded. "Way too long. Time to listen, Light."

"I have no reason to listen to you." She had gone beyond simple refusal. She was acting like a child, and she didn't give a damn.

"You do too!" Vanille reprimanded lightly, her eyes bright. "We're a team! And I…I know we've never really talked before, but it's just 'cause we were so…we _are _so different." She bit her lip again and looked down. "I didn't know what to talk about, but now I do! So you've _gotta_ listen!"

"Fantastic." To be honest, the lack of communication between Lightning and the other two females never particularly bothered Lightning. She didn't require a close bond with people of the same gender: especially not like the one Snow had with Sazh. She still had no desire to speak with Vanille and Fang, not when this was the topic of conversation.

"Don't give us that!" warned Fang, yanking Lightning down to a seated position on the ground where she was joined on either side by the two women. "We've saved your ass plenty of times. More than I can count, which is saying something. I can count pretty high."

"And if you try to move, I'll use one of my spells to make sure you stay put," Vanille chimed in, somehow managing to twist her bright voice into an ominous one. Vanille could, and would, stoop to such a level to get her way. Lightning had no choice but to comply. That did not, however, mean she had to make it easy for them.

She stared directly forward, her eyes fixated on the gentle lapping of foaming waves on the beach opposite of them. Fang began to speak, but Lightning, trained in the arts of completely ignoring others, focused instead on the gentle whistling of the wind between the reeds a good ten yards from them. Her concentration shifted yet again to the waters, and this time, as Vanille's voice picked up where Fang's left off, Lightning imagined how much simpler this entire process would have been had she merely sent a bolt into the pure water as soon as she entered the area. Seeing the electricity course through the two women would have meant that they'd either be incapacitated or dead—it didn't particularly matter which at that point—and it would have spared Lightning this entire conversation. If she were to throw Snow into the water, then all her problems would be erased…

A sharp jab met Lightning's upper arm. "Stop daydreaming!"

Giggling erupted to Lightning's side. Vanille made no attempt to hide her amusement. "Her eyes were glazed over. Looked like a good dream."

_If only you knew._

"See? You're daydreaming about him now, too!"

"What?"

Fang shook her head, raising her hands in the air in mock surrender. "She just may be hopeless, Vanille." She cocked her head to the side, considering Lightning with sparkling eyes. "Too bad it wasn't Hope that you fell for, then, eh?"

"…what?" Lightning repeated, her nails beginning to dig a new set of holes into her palm.

A sympathetic pat was the only answer Lightning received. "It's okay," Fang consoled. "Some of us aren't very good at the whole 'girl talk' thing."

"So what if I'm not?" Lightning huffed, jabbing the ground with her knuckles in lieu of Fang's face. "I had better things to do in my life than sit around and gossip with people like you. I had a sister to feed, a job to keep, and a house to maintain by the time I was a teenager while the other girls were out having lives."

"And that's half the problem!" Fang said triumphantly, accentuating her point with an exaggerated sigh. "You're so used to having to give up every aspect of your life for Serah that you can't see a good thing when it's right in front of you! You just assume that it's yet another thing that you have to pass off to her!"

"You're wrong."

"Lightning," Vanille said carefully. "Are we really wrong? Can you honestly say that we are?"

Lightning struggled to say the words, to utter the lie, but the words failed to come.

"Let me have a turn, Fang." A deep breath was taken by Vanille, perhaps to ward off her fear. "Listen, Lightning. I've heard a lot of Snow's conversations with Sazh. I walk behind those two when we travel, and I'm usually awake when they talk at night. Most of what they talk about is…incredibly dumb, but not all of it. Last night I went to bed early because I knew they'd talk about something important, for a change, and I was right. Snow talked a lot about you."

Silence fell for a brief moment between them before Vanille carried on. "Snow told Sazh everything last night: everything that he'd been thinking, saying, doing…everything. He's miserable. He feels really, really guilty. But he's not running away from it. He's trying to do what's right, what's best, and—"

"How does he know what's best?" Lightning interrupted quietly, though her voice was strained. "He's got two choices in this whole stupid mess. Either he marries Serah and gets on with his life, or he chases after me like some lovesick puppy and he breaks off his promise to my sister. What, to you, seems like the logical choice, Vanille? You're the one that seems to know so much. Tell me!" Her voice slowly escalated until it was just shy of shouting at the young girl who sat only a few inches away.

Vanille flinched but didn't rise to take the bait. "Would you rather he marry Serah and secretly be pining for you the whole time?"

Jaw tight, Lightning responded, "I'd rather he stop thinking about me entirely."

Vanille was quiet now, perhaps thinking about the best response. Fang picked up the conversation, though she was much more placid the second time around. "Listen, Light. We heard your conversation with Snow yesterday. You can't push the man to marry Serah, not when his heart isn't in it. You're dooming their marriage by doing that. How would you feel if the man you married secretly desired some other woman? Don't you think that'd cause a lot of problems?"

Still Lightning refused to answer the obvious. The idea that Snow perhaps didn't care as much about Serah as he ought disturbed Lightning. She was still outraged that Snow would propose to her sister when there were doubts on his part, but it also made her feel a little less guilty on the inside. A little less worried that she would hurt her sister in the long run. A little more confident that maybe, just maybe, Snow marrying Serah wasn't how it had to be after all.

"Light, you've given up everything for your sister, from what I've heard—your education, your friends, your happiness, your life. Now Snow comes along, and he just-so-happens to be the one person that's able to see past your hard-ass exterior to see something in you that drives him crazy. He puts up with your crazy mood swings and fist swings and everything. Yet, with you, old habits die hard. You don't get that forcing him and Serah's marriage is the easy path, yeah, but not the right thing to do." Fang nudged Lightning gently with her elbow. "What you're doing is noble, sure, but…you can't give up your entire life to protect your sister. She has to live her own life at some point. She has to experience the world in full. What you think is 'betrayal'…it's not. It just feels like it is because, for the first time in a long time, there's something that you want for yourself that Serah won't be able to have. Serah will understand why things happened how they did, I think."

Lightning mulled over the idea in her head for a good span of time, not entirely convinced. She did not, however, want to carry on this conversation any longer. Too much time had passed, and she could almost feel the newest arrow being etched into her chest. "You can almost make sense sometimes…when you're not being a bitch."

Fang laughed easily and Vanille joined in, her laughter sounding like bells against Fang's booming guffaws. All three females made to stand, and just as they did the three men all appeared on the scene, approaching cautiously and conspicuously to ensure their presence was known.

Sazh clung to Hope's shoulders, ducking behind him once they came in view of Lightning. Hope seemed slightly irritated by the situation, but was too busy chomping away at a fruit clutched in his hands to really bother dispatching Sazh. Sazh continued pushing Hope forward, peeking occasionally from behind the far-shorter boy's shoulders to catch a glimpse of Lightning.

Snow trailed far behind, his boots kicking at stray sticks that impeded his path. Lightning's eyes immediately fell on him, and more than once she caught his sheepish gaze falling on her. His eyes would dally, taking in the still-damp figure of Lightning before straying away again to rest on the sandy shores of the lake.

"I bring an offering to the angry storm goddess," Sazh pushed Hope towards Lightning. "Does this please you?"

Hope rolled his eyes as he stumbled to a stop a few feet in front of the girls. He took another bite from the fruit and waved absentmindedly at Lightning while he finished chewing. "Just set his pants on fire again," Hope suggested before taking a third bite. "I missed it last time."

Lightning, happy for a chance to break away from the tiny space between Fang and Vanille, strode forward a few steps. She brushed the sand from her legs and attempted to do the same with the tiny grains that were embedded into her clothing. "You did miss it, didn't you?" Lightning wondered, tousling the platinum locks upon Hope's head. Hope's eyes narrowed in delight as he finished off the fruit, turning his attention back to Sazh. He was hoping for a show.

Sazh's eyes flew wide and he instinctively moved to protect himself. "Wa—wait! I got one better!"

The four of them watched as Sazh fumbled over towards Snow, who had been watching a songbird in the distance the entire time. Sazh grabbed hold of Snow's muscular upper arm and began to drag him in the direction of Lightning. Snow, not entirely sure what was going on, shoved Sazh easily backwards and told him to knock it off. Patience growing thin, Sazh whipped out one of his pistols and aimed it at Snow's prized possessions, saying something about 'no more cold baths'. Muttering darkly, Snow readjusted his bandana and took a step towards Sazh. The elder man quickly grabbed Snow's arm and, keeping his gun aimed low, directed Snow towards Lightning.

"I offer you Hope," Sazh said, breathless, "and, well, this guy. He's a great cuddler, I can tell you that."

Snow's jaw clenched where he stood, but that was before Sazh propelled him forcefully towards Lightning. Snow stumbled forwards, tripping over Fang's forgotten pack. His momentum was entirely lost by that point, and he was launched towards Lightning, only barely managing to remain on his feet by using Lightning as a force to stop himself with. He reached out and took hold of her shoulders, ramming into her wholly before regaining his feet and stepping back. He quickly righted himself but instead of backing away, he chose to remain within inches of his highly favored femme fatale.

He rubbed his neck awkwardly while the others snickered behind him. "Hey."

"Hey," she responded, looking upwards at his face through long lashes. His cheeks were brightly tinged.

"Does this satisfy the angry storm goddess? She won't…she ain't gonna burn my pants no more?"

Lightning considered Snow for some time as she deliberated over her answer. For whatever reason, something Snow had said ages ago popped into her head just then, and the memory made her smile in the same manner as it had when he first said the words: _"__You're not that unlucky. I mean, you __did __get stuck on this hellhole with __me__. I couldn't think of a better example of good luck than that_!"

_Maybe you're right, Snow._

Lightning would be the first to admit that she wasn't entirely sure how to handle the situation. She didn't know what course of action was right or wrong. She didn't know where to go from here.

What she did know, though, was that this was no longer a fantasy created for an alternate reality. This was occurring here, now, whether she was prepared for it or not. Lying to herself about how she felt towards Snow, towards the man that should have been her brother-in-law, would only intensify that problems surrounding the situation. This was a challenge; one that was just as wondrous, new, and exciting as it was horrifying and confusing.

And Lightning wasn't one to run away from a challenging.

So for now, for this moment, she could play along with them while she gathered her wits about her and prepared for the hardest struggle she had yet to face.

"For now, Sazh," Lightning said, that same small smile still stretched thinly across her lips. "For now…this offering is satisfactory."

The brilliant grin Snow offered her in return almost erased her doubts and worries over Serah and the future.

Almost.


	12. Death of Me

**Note: ...I know. -sighs-. I really did try to get it out on time. You can see how well that turned out. Anyway, I tried to make it longer as an "I'm so sorry! Please don't eat my nonexistent firstborn!"  
As always, thank you for reading. Please feel free to review-yours words are an encouragement to me!**

* * *

Taejin's Tower loomed before them, an ominous reminder of the trials they had yet to face before reaching Oerba…before their journey could come to an end. They intended on taking on the tower in less than a day—their pace was urged on by the unblinking eye looking hungrily upon them from their brands.

Time was their only enemy now. The monsters and Cie'th in the area were, like Snow, rather stubborn and unwilling to die; however, with the combined strength of the party, there were no fiends the six of them could not defeat. Unlike the beasts, the metaphysical aspect of time was unfazed by weapons or magic—this new enemy would always be present, ticking away each precious second until doom claimed them. In one way or another all tried to disregard it, whether it be blatantly ignoring their brand, as Lightning had been doing; or by acting like ignorant children and doing little else other than wreaking havoc—a method Snow and Sazh had adopted quite well. Even then, despite their best efforts, the reminders of their impending transformation were always there. Each sunset was one closer to their last, each step taken was one nearer to their fate…no. No matter how hard they tried, they could not escape this foe. Death was the only way to avoid time's claim.

This knowledge encouraged their pace. After the morning's delay Lightning decided that they needed to make up for lost time, and she stuck to her word. Their journey towards the tower was anything but a relaxing stroll. Despite the grueling dash towards the menacing structure, Lightning had only allowed two stops, both less than fifteen minutes in length. No person was spared from salty, dripping sweat rolling off their bodies or ragged gasps for breath. All suffered under the penetrating heat of the glaring sun, and it was made far worse by their aching muscles. Five of the six struggled to remain on their feet, ardently attempting to avoid the embarrassment of being the first to collapse out of exhaustion.

The sun was still high in the sky when Sazh, double the physical age of any other in the group, stumbled wearily in his tracks. He threw his arms before him, bracing himself for the coming fall. Luckily for him, his hand caught a solid stone, and the old pilot used the steadfast nature of the rock to break his fall.

"Wait!" Sazh gasped, leaning against the stone for support as the others sprinted onwards in their arduous trek. "I can't…I'm old…dammit…"

Snow was the first to stop—or perhaps the only one listening. He had been tied with Lightning at the forefront of the group, but at the sound of Sazh's voice he halted, and the sudden ceasing of movement nearly caused him to stumble forward. He hadn't realized his legs were that exhausted until they stopped moving.

A quick motion, a flash of a hand, and Snow caught Lightning's elbow in his outstretched fingers. "Hey," he croaked, his throat sorely parched. "Light."

She was startled into alert mode, spinning sharply around, drawing her sword in an explosion of movement and holding it up in a guard position. Her eyes gleamed with the challenge of a fight, but upon seeing the wide-eyed Snow, she gave a short sigh and sheathed her blade just as quickly as it had been drawn. "What is it, Snow?"

Her gaze followed Snow's back to where Sazh, now doubled over and panting for breath, had stopped. She rolled her eyes and unclasped the pack on her leg, letting it drop to show her frustration. "Twenty minutes. That's all."

Everyone mumbled their thanks, and several other packs hit the ground in unison shortly after, summoning a cloud of dust and dirt into the air. A couple canteens were passed around and only a few swallows of the precious water could be had by each member, lest they run out of purified liquid. Soon aching bodies followed the example the packs had set, and all were sitting or laying flat on the ground. All, that is, except for Lightning. Despite her slightly labored breathing and sweat-glistened body, she remained standing and alert, ever seeking a quietly-approaching foe that would endanger the lives of those resting.

Snow sat nearby, his head between his legs and arms draped over his knees. "You'll be the death of me," he muttered. Already he felt his calves begin to spasm.

Judging by the delighted sparkle in her eyes, Lightning had heard Snow. "I have to keep you in shape somehow," she responded lightly, her eyes raking over the landscape a final time before changing her position to stand near Hope. "How are you holding up?"

Even though Snow had distinctly heard Fang say earlier that Hope had thrown up along the way, and despite currently appearing as if he were about to collapse, Hope gave a weak smile and a thumbs up. He'd be damned if he acted weak around Lightning.

Lightning, thankfully, seemed to understand Hope's façade for what it was. She gave his shoulder a tight squeeze, offering a look that may have resembled sympathy before she stood erect once more, shielding her eyes against the angry rays of the midday sun. "We're almost to the tower," she announced to the group. Snow could see her performing some mental calculations, judging by the way she was biting her bottom lip. "We'll slow up a little. We made good time so far." She considered the tower yet again before turning back to the group. "I want to try and make it through the tower in one day—get out before nightfall. We can afford to stay a night if we have to, but, depending on how Oerba is from here we may have to run just as hard tomorrow."

"Please tell me Oerba's just around the corner," Sazh yawned. "I swear I'll shoot myself in the head if it's not. I swear to everything holy…"

"Calm down, old man," Fang teased, stretching an arm out from where she lay to poke Sazh's forearm. "Oerba's only about an hour past the tower." She and Vanille cast each other meaningful glances. "We're almost home."

Vanille nodded slightly before returning to lying prostrate on the ground. "Wonder how much it's changed?"

The two tribeswomen began speaking quietly to each other, excluding the others from their conversation. Sazh was too busy falling asleep to care, and Hope was quickly following Sazh's lead.

"How much longer do we have?" Snow queried, massaging his calves to lessen the pain.

"Fourteen minutes," she responded quickly, her eyes roving across the eastern edge of the horizon.

Her exact response made Snow chuckle. He eyed his fellow companions, noting that both Sazh and Hope had succumbed to the sweet calling of slumber. Fang and Vanille were still whispering amongst themselves. "Light," Snow said suddenly. "About earlier…"

"Nothing to talk about from earlier," she shrugged; her eyes far off in the distance as she watched a golem messily devour a chocobo.

_How typical._

Snow pressed forward with the topic. "There is," he said, beginning the massaging process on the second calf. "Where are we now, Light?"

Stillness possessed her. "Almost to Taejin's Tower," she shrugged, turning her back to Snow. The sight nearly cleaved his heart in two.

"You know what I mean," he said quietly, his lips hardly parting to speak. "Us. You and me. Where are we?"

She shifted uncomfortably, her eyes unfocused. "Hell if I know."

Fang and Vanille's eyes were boring holes into the back of Snow's head, but he somehow ignored it. "You're impossible," he sighed, throwing himself backwards to lie upon on the soft earth.

Lightning sighed in return and ran her hand through her sweat-glazed mane. "Impossible? Maybe. Conflicted? Yeah." She turned her head slightly to the side, glaring at the two Pulsians from the corner of her eye. "And if you two don't mind your own business, I'll shoot lightning bolts through your eyeballs."

Snow heard Vanille giggle before shuffling away.

"If Serah were anyone else, I wouldn't give a damn. I wouldn't be as worried. But she's not someone else—she's Serah. My sister. The only family I have left. Now…I'm considering…this?" She motioned off-handedly towards Snow, who felt a nervous flutter in his stomach. She was admitting a shitload more than he originally dared to hope for with his question.

"I hated you, Snow. I hated what you were, the man I thought you to be, what you stood for…and, most of all, I hated you for taking Serah from me." A sad, reminiscent aura crept over her. "Now I'm considering taking you from Serah. Not only am I a bitch, but I'm also a hypocrite." A pause. "A betrayer."

Snow struggled to his feet, and the motion was damn near impossible when his feet and legs felt like a flan. "I can't say I know exactly how you feel," he said in a hushed tone, stumbling towards Lightning so only they were privy to their conversation. "I never hated you. Quite the opposite, really. I've always admired you, in one way or another." Lightning cast him a quizzical stare, her brows knit together in puzzlement. "Long story," Snow added. "But…I do kinda know how you feel about Serah, in a way. I think she'd understand…it might take her awhile, but eventually…eventually she'd understand." He awaited a change in her expression, but her face was as indifferent and unreadable as ever. "And…you wouldn't be alone. You wouldn't be completely without a family."

Lightning never moved. She continued to stare ahead, the golem clearly reflected in her eyes. Snow waited for her response with baited breath.

"Time's up!" She called, whirling around on her heel. Disappointment settled within Snow, along with some relief. _At least she didn't hurt me._

But did it have to be so hard for her to answer? All he wanted was to know where she believed them to be. She had admitted to _considering _Snow, but…that was all? She couldn't move beyond that?

He would be lying if he said he his heart wasn't heavy. Earlier, he had believed she had meant she would take Snow, for the time being. That she would try things out. Now it seemed as if they'd be stuck in the same awkward positions they'd been in…

_Maybe I shouldn't get too worked up about it. I mean, it's only been a few hours since this morning…_

Another quick, unnoticeable glance was thrown towards his brand. It may have only been a few hours, but how much longer did they have left?

"Snow." The way Lightning said his name sent chills up his spine, all too pleasurable. "Wake up Sazh. I don't think he—"

"I got him," Fang said, rolling on her side to close the distance between her and Sazh.

"No, you don't," Lightning snarled, disgust the main component in her voice. "Snow, go wake him up."

Fang received a confused, raised brow from Snow while he nudged Sazh's arm with a booted foot to wake him. "What was that about?"

"Nothing," Lightning said, interrupting Fang, who was just about to explain. Lightning lowered herself to Hope's side and gently touched his shoulder, slowly rousing the boy back to the waking world. "Time to get up, kid," Snow heard her murmur. Hope smiled blearily and rubbed his eyes.

Sazh was still fast asleep, despite Snow's third attempt to wake him. Just as Snow brought his leg back to _really_ jar him to full consciousness, Vanille tumbled in from nowhere, rushing past Snow to jump on Sazh.

"Wakey, wakey!" She cooed, tickling Sazh's sides after plopping down on his chest to sit. Sazh woke with a start, looked down his nose at his chest, then burst into a string of curses before rolling to his side and, thus, he effectively removed Vanille from her perch.

"Never wake a man up like that. Ever." Though flat on his belly, he made no move to stand. It took Snow a minute to figure out why.

Vanille looked slightly offended as she sulked away, her eyes narrowed rather dangerously.

"What's wrong, Sazh?" Snow asked innocently, thriving on the humor that understanding provided him. "It's time to go!"

"I hope you get eaten by one of those flowers, boy." This, of course, only egged Snow on.

"I can go find some cold water, if you need it…"

"What's the hold-up?" Lightning cut in, irritated. "We need to go, so stop being stupid. We need to make it to the tower."

Distinct curses could be heard, though the volume was lessened from the grass at Sazh's lips. Hope joined Snow's side, a triumphant smirk on his mouth. "Need a leg up?"

Clarity on the situation, sidled with disgust, dawned on Lightning's features. "By the Sanctum, you're like a damn teenager. Control your hormones!"

"If I could," Sazh enunciated carefully, "then maybe I wouldn't be lyin' face down in the damn dirt, girl!" He shot back, lifting his head to meet Lightning's glare from five feet below her…or maybe to catch a glimpse up Lightning's skirt to see if she really _did _wear shorts beneath them.

Snow, still grinning, moved to pick up everyone's pack and then distributed them to their proper owners. "Come on, man. Tuck it in. We've gotta go."

Vanille, who had hidden behind Fang—perhaps out of embarrassment—poked her head out from behind Fang's arm and asked, "'Tuck it in'…?"

Hope blushed furiously when Snow didn't answer, as Vanille's eyes soon fell to the youngest male present. Fang laughed and walked past, ruffling Hope's feathery hair as she joined Snow's side to grab her and Vanille's storage cases. "Guy thing," Hope explained quickly. "You don't wanna know."

Sazh began the long process of adjusting himself while remaining face-down, attempting to retain some sense of decency. "I'm surprised you even know what it means, Hope," Sazh grunted. "Then again, you probably have had a lot of chances to practice lately, am I right?"

Hope snatched his pack from Snow and marched past Sazh towards the distant Lightning. "I hate you, Sazh."

Vanille followed after Hope, edging past Sazh as she went. Clearly she wasn't too crazy about the situation, either.

Fang still remained behind, an ever-present smirk playing her mouth. "Save it for later," she suggested, adding in a flirty wink once Sazh lifted his head to stare. She turned and followed the others, leaving the two men behind.

"Damn it, woman! You're not helping!"

Snow helped Sazh to his feet, keeping a good distance from Sazh as he did so. Even if the old geezer could barely stand on his own, Snow wasn't about to get close to _that. _"Sazh, man," Snow started, shaking his head. "I wouldn't normally suggest this, but…you really gotta get laid."

* * *

Snow traveled around the outdated piece of technology before him. "Didn't we already take this elevator?" He asked, scratching his head absentmindedly as he examined the etchings on the back side of the stone.

Lightning was already inside, her hand hovering over the 'descend' button. "No, we didn't."

"How do you know?" Vanille's turn this time. She cast a quick glance around the room. "Looks pretty familiar in here…"

An impatient _tut _rolled off Lightning's tongue. "It looks like every other room with an elevator. Get over it."

As he walked up to the side of the lift, Sazh said, "Exactly. Plus, we've been running up ramps and running in circles for the past two hours, and we must have gone up elevators a dozen times already. Now this one wants to go down…that's odd, don't you think?" No answer was received, so he spoke again. "How do you know this is the right one?"

Lightning glared at them all contemptuously before slamming her fist onto the button. Everyone's eyes were glued on the lift as they watched Lightning descend, alone.

"Shit."

"She'll be back," Fang shrugged while she leaned back against the far wall. "We've already been on this one, anyway. I marked the wall on the side of it, like I've been doing with all the others." She motioned with her forefinger towards a spot about five feet up on the wall nearest Sazh. "It should look like a little black scratch."

Sazh glanced at the side, muttering his approval before sinking to the floor. "Damn, I'm tired. Too much exercise for these old bones."

Everyone hunkered down, awaiting Lightning's imminent return. They thought it would be a short trip—maybe just descend, take a peek around and then return, shame-faced. No one thought much beyond that. Seats were taken in opposing corners; or some, like Sazh and Hope, chose to sprawl out on the middle of the floor.

The minutes slowly ticked away into an hour, and there was still no sign of Lightning. Hope was going mad. Snow was, too…he was just better at hiding it.

"We need to get her!" Hope repeated for the hundredth time, abandoning his comfortable position on the stone floor to pace to and fro along the edge of the room. "She could be hurt or dead or—"

Sazh pushed himself up and grabbed Hope's arm, yanking him back down into a sitting position. "Relax and shut up. This is Soldier Girl. If it was too much trouble, she'd have come back by now." Though he didn't seem to entirely believe his own words, there wasn't much else he could do. They were minus one lift, which meant they couldn't descend. The elevator a few rooms back only dropped down one floor, and they knew that Lightning was at least two levels down.

"I hate puzzles," Vanille reflected bitterly, earning stares from everyone in the group. She cocked her head in confusion. "What?" she demanded. Everyone shook their heads and went back to ruminating over their situation.

Snow stood and brushed his hands across his pants in an attempt to remove the tiny granules of dirt that clung to his palms. He made his way to the massive hole in the floor, where the lift had been, peering over the edge to assess the distance down. It was a long way—Lightning had gone down at least _three _floors, possibly four. He wasn't sure. "Got any rope?" He looked over his shoulder at the remaining four and was greeted with four sets of groans.

"Who the hell brings _rope_?" Sarcasm dripped from Sazh's voice. "I mean, how useless is _that_? It only would have saved our asses a few dozen times. Not enough to warrant the extra weight in our packs."

"Point taken." Snow continued scheming in his head, thinking of other possible ways to find out where the hell Lightning was. _I just have to get down there first…_

Quite unexpectedly, the ground beneath their feet began to shake. It scared the hell out of everyone. Snow had never seen Sazh jump to his feet quite so fast.

"Son-of-a-bitch!" Fang spat, already racing towards the door. "Damn it—she…she must have touched something! Everybody out-now!"

Nobody bothered asking why—the urgency in Fang's voice was cause enough to race like madmen to the exit. They all sprinted for the door, ducking through the low clearance to reach the walkway outside. It was a good thing they abandoned their post when they did: almost as soon as Sazh stumbled clumsily through the access point, the tower began to shift clockwise, covering what was formerly the exit with a wall of solid stone.

They stood in silence, gawking at their dangerously close call. Snow made a mental note to thank Fang for the advice. Sazh gave a low whistle of appreciation.

"You're welco—"

Fang was cut off when the ground beneath them began to vibrate every-so-slightly. Five bodies immediately began to panic; their heads darting left and right to find the next trap that could be the death of them.

Music began to play to their left, softly at first, and then it began to grow in volume. It was a charming tune, it couldn't be denied, but Snow half-wondered if that was intended irony. With the luck they'd been having, he wouldn't be surprised if a child's lullaby started playing before being mauled by that damn fal'Cie that was stalking them.

Vanille drew her Binding Rods and inched to Fang's side. Snow and Hope took several steps to the fore of the group, each wielding their respective weapons. Sazh was somewhere between the two sets, fumbling with loading ammo into his pistols. "We're all gonna die in this tower," he whimpered, dropping at least two bullets.

The music grew louder, and Snow's nerves were reaching its limits. Was that the song of some new fiend? Was it making its way up to them, to challenge them? Had it attacked Lightning earlier?

_Lightning…where are you?_

As if in response to his internal thoughts, a lift came to a complete stop only a few yards away. Relief washed over Snow in waves. He dropped his hands and, together with Hope, they both jogged forward to greet their battle-weary goddess.

"Don't ever do that again!" Hope scolded, throwing his arms around Lightning's middle and hugging her with bestial strength. Lightning gave a sheepish smile and pat Hope's head, turning her own towards Snow, nodding slightly in his direction.

Faint bruises and lacerations were scattered across Lightning's face. He took a step nearer and examined her further, noting that on every piece of exposed skin there was an injury of some type. Anger surged within him at the sight: anger, that he hadn't been there to help Lightning; fury at those that dared lay a claw on her pearly skin; rage, that she had to suffer alone because they were too big of idiots to believe her in the first place.

"I'm not helpless. I can take care of myself." She was matter-of-fact, as if this were the most obvious truth in the world.

_Well…it _is_ pretty obvious._

"I know," Snow said quietly, managing a fairly pathetic smile. "I'd heal you, but I don't think I'd be able to concentrate well enough to do a decent job. Hope, can you…?"

Hope must have been practicing his telepathy, since Snow didn't even need to finish his request before Hope began the process of healing Lightning's wounds. He was quick and efficient and, much to Snow's displeasure, very gentle. While he knew that the kid was leaving him and Lightning alone, it didn't mean the torch he carried for Lightning had diminished any…"Light, can you kneel for a second? Thanks." Once Lightning was at his height, Hope laid careful, delicate fingers on her marred face and slowly traced her injuries with a steady hand. His face flushed slightly, but it was difficult to see in the dark, dank tower.

Snow saw Hope's burning cheeks and the deliberate fingers, how they just nipped over her lips and brushed across her eyelashes. No, Snow didn't miss a damn movement.

Burning jealousy reared its ugly head within him once more. _Figures that the only time I get jealous is when a fourteen-year-old is making moves on Lightning. _The situation was so ridiculous that he could hardly allow himself to dwell on the subject. He forced himself to remember Mah'habara, to recall their pathetic duel in the narrow corridors, and with that memory in tow he quickly regained control over his emotions. Instead of seeking a fight, Snow walked away.

Hope dropped his hands hesitantly, his face now a bright red. "Done," he announced, nodding once towards Lightning. She returned the gesture, added in a thank-you, and then rose to her feet.

"This way." Lightning led the way back, through the new elevator and out the opposing side. "Don't question me this time."

Fang threw her head back and sighed loudly. "I'm never gonna hear the end of this," she mumbled. Snow caught her words and chuckled low, still keeping a careful eye on Hope. "I knew you were right all along, Light," Fang added, her voice bright and cheerful and very loud.

Lightning snorted derisively. "I bet." She led the group a few steps further, all of them shuffling their feet forward. "And, no, you're never going to hear the end of it, Fang."

The tribeswoman grinned and said nothing further.

Everyone fell into a line as they ascended the narrow, circular pathway along the inside wall of the tower. They took another lift up, got sidetracked by a hole in the wall, fought a few fiends, and then looked for an exit that wouldn't involve backtracking through the bat-infested room they had just abandoned.

Yet another hole had been blasted into the wall in the room they were currently in. Lightning stuck her head out of the opening and examined the surroundings before pulling herself back in. "The floor…"

Snow pushed his way to Lightning's side, shoving Hope carefully aside so he could examine their situation alongside their fearless leader. She held her arm out to impede his progress, and at first Snow was bewildered by the movement. That is, until Lightning kneeled down and tapped the walkway with a knuckle.

"See all the cracks?" She said, sweeping a finger over the path ahead. Snow shook his head 'no'; Lightning sighed and unsheathed her gunblade. She shot a single round into the floor directly in front of them, on the exact spot Lightning had rapped her knuckles. The cracks that had been invisible to Snow's eyes before suddenly increased in length and width, spreading like spider-webs across the solid mass of stone that created the outer walkway. Snow's jaw fell with the flooring as it broke off in large chunks and crumbled into dust before falling several stories downward.

Lightning then tested the integrity of the remaining three-inch ledge. "This should hold us," she said, cautiously planting one foot on the tiny edge. She gradually applied more weight to the stone until she pushed off with her other foot and balanced herself totally on the horribly small shelf. "Yeah. It's fine. Careful, though. Once you get up ahead where it looks like the pathway is still intact, don't put your weight on it. I'm betting it's just as structurally unsound as this bit was. I'll tell you when we get to safe ground." She inched ahead a ways on the small ledge, expecting them to follow.

Nobody did.

"How…how far do we gotta go, Light?" Hope asked, his head peeking out from under Snow's elbow.

Lightning paused in her journey, contemplating the question. She clucked her tongue once and turned back, her steps more sure now that she knew the path was safe to traverse. With a quick hop she landed back inside the room where the other five had remained, totally unwilling to follow.

She withdrew her gunblade yet again, repeating the process she did earlier, only this time adding several more rounds of bullets into the mix. More portions began to crumble and fall, and all watched in horror as the few-feet gap that had originally existed quickly extended into one that was well over ten feet. But she wasn't done yet.

The gunshots echoed throughout the stone chambers, assailing their eardrums without mercy. Whenever a piece of the walkway held after one shot, she'd toss another round in its direction to test it. If it held after the second, she'd drain a third. This process continued for what seemed like half an eternity before holstering her gun, satisfied with her results. "About fifteen yards," she replied mostly to herself before jumping back on the ledge and restarting her crossing.

"Well, I'm certainly happy you look so damn pleased with yourself," Sazh huffed, poking his head over Fang's shoulder to see the damage. "But, please tell me how you plan to get an aging old man and a giant down this pathetic excuse of a path?"

Lightning didn't miss a beat. "Balance. And pray."

"Fantastic." Sazh was nearing hysteria. "Fantastic! Pray! That's all you have to say? Pray? Pray to who? Huh? You ever think of that? And how the hell am I supposed to cross this shitty thing?"

Fang lay a consoling hand on Sazh's ass. "Calm down. I'll help you through it."

"Don't touch me, devil-woman!" Sazh thundered, backing away several feet, his hands raised defensively. "I'm not going near that ledge! I'll find another way—I'm not going! Do you hear me, Lightning? I'm staying put, dammit!"

Nobody was really sure what to do. Everyone had broken down at some point—or almost everyone—but none had blatantly refused to continue on. Fang and Vanille exchanged shrugs while Hope and Snow stared, dumbfounded, at their older counterpart.

Then Lightning appeared with thunder cackling behind her.

She was pissed off.

Lightning stormed up to Sazh, who was too busy having an utter meltdown to really notice. Snow didn't even see her wind-up, but the resounding _smack! t_hat reverberated off the walls spoke volumes.

So did the red welt that already blossomed across Sazh's cheek.

Lightning wavered, her hand drawn back for a second strike if needed. Her nose hovered inches from Sazh's own, and she carefully awaited his reaction. Slowly, very slowly, his body lessened in rigidity and his shoulders slumped, his head bowed and the hairs of his afro tickled Lightning's face.

"I deserved that," he mumbled, reaching up to touch the angry welt on his cheek. He winced when his fingers grazed over it. "I don't like heights," he admitted. "Especially when there's a chance that I'll fall to my death. A very likely chance."

Lightning lowered her hand. "You're a pilot."

"I never said it made a lick of sense, girl," Sazh muttered, his fingers still gently brushing against the reddening lump. "You didn't have to hit me so hard, you know. This hurts like hell…"

"Well, at least now you can be part of the club," Fang grinned, laying a firm hand on Sazh's shoulder, leading him back to the ledge. "Me and Snow are already lifetime members. All it takes is one strike from the menacing Lightning to join!"

Snow snorted. "I guess I'm good for a few lifetimes, then."

Hope and Snow watched as Lightning moved quickly back to the front of the group, the sensual swaying of her hips hardly going unnoticed. "I can add another lifetime membership for you, if you'd like," she threatened, glaring back at Snow before disappearing around the corner and, presumably, mounting the ledge once again. Snow couldn't help but give a low whistle, shaking his head at her disappearing backside.

The eldest of the group was being led by Fang and Vanille now, both encouraging him greatly to attempt the crossing, reassuring him that everything would be just fine. After some convincing, he finally consented and, with Fang's hand guiding him, he took a careful step atop the ledge and began his slow trek across the gaping chasm.

Hope's fair head was peering carefully down to the depths of the tower, tentative about the idea of crossing. An uncertain gaze passed between him and Snow, but it was broken by the appearance of Vanille's strawberry-blonde curls bobbing between the two. "Come on!" She grabbed Hope's arm and gently pulled for him to follow. "Follow me! We'll get across in no time!"

Hope took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, nodding once. "Okay," he sighed, eyeing the distant floor with apprehension. "See you on the other side." He saluted Snow once and carefully stepped onto the precarious path immediately behind Vanille.

"Hero's gotta take up the rear," Snow said to no one in particular. He scratched his neck, watching the five ahead of him progress across the gap. Lightning was very nearly to the other side, her long, lean legs making easy work of the tiny platform she had to work with. Sazh was a good ways behind, inching carefully across, and every once in awhile he'd bury his head into the stone wall, shouting about how much he hated Lightning and that this scheme was her idea of a way to kill him. Fang, inches behind Sazh, would coo at him, telling him that everything would be fine and that she'd reward him if he shut up and made it across without event. Vanille and Hope were quickly gaining on the slow-moving Fang and Sazh, but Hope would stop every now and again to peer down or backwards to see his progress, and so he started to fall behind.

"Guess it's my time to go," Snow sighed, standing tall and stretching his muscles before starting. He was nervous, he had to admit—compared to the others, he was at a serious disadvantage. After all, he was Mister Thirty-Three Centimeters himself. Big feet and tiny paths over a gaping drop of doom just didn't seem to mix well.

The three-to-six-inch boundary of stone that was their only method of crossing proved to be incredibly difficult to traverse. All too quickly he became overly familiar with the feel of rough stone scratching against his jaw as he hugged tightly to the wall in an attempt to lessen the space he consumed, hoping, in vain, that the effort would lessen the work involved in the crossing. He even tried sucking in some air and holding his breath.

Overall, he looked utterly idiotic.

Lightning must have reached the far edge, because he heard her call out, "Maybe if your feet weren't the size of a chocobo's head, you wouldn't have to look like such a moron."

_I can see her damn smirk, too. _It wasn't hard to visualize—he had become overly acquainted with that expression as well.

"Maybe," he huffed, nearly having a heart attack when his foot slipped and dangled over the black abyss below. "But you know what they say about guys with big feet…" Perhaps he could have afforded a chuckle, were he not so concerned with the precarious situation he now found his life in.

"It's not true," Lightning finished, offering her hand to Sazh once he neared the end of the rather nonexistent path. Fang hopped easily off the dangerous rim, and though Snow couldn't see it, he knew she was comforting Sazh in some odd, Fang-like way.

Ahead of Snow, Hope cackled. "Ouch! Betcha can't beat that one, Snow!" He turned his head quickly, offering Snow a wide grin, but the movement was far too sudden. His balance was lost and, as he tumbled back, his fingers grabbed madly at the wall before him. No holdings could be found, and Snow watched Hope fall backwards, almost in slow motion. Hope's eyes went wide in fear, his arms circled in windmills fruitlessly to try and regain his balance. There was no use to any of his movements.

Without even thinking, Snow's arm shot out in a desperate attempt to grab hold of Hope's rapidly falling body. All he wanted was for his fingers to connect with Hope's wrist, jacket, hair—anything.

He felt the collar of Hope's jacket firmly in the grip of his hand, and Snow was momentarily filled with relief.

It was incredibly short-lived. Relief quickly morphed into terror once Hope's excess dead weight dragged Snow downwards as well. He saw his life flash quickly before his eyes, noticed that many of the images contained Lightning, and a sense of dismay overtook him when he realized he'd never even gotten the chance to kiss her yet before his death.

That simply wouldn't do. He reached out, up, as his body disappeared beneath the ledge and he felt his fingers grab hold of something. A quick glance up confirmed what it was that had saved his life.

Snow clung on to the three-inch wide, jagged edge of the damn pathway that had got him into this situation to begin with. Of course he'd have to catch the most pathetic piece of pathway possible—that was his luck. The shoulder currently responsible for Hope's life was already burning from the odd angle with which he was holding Hope—slightly behind him, with his arm rotated severely to the right. The three fingers that were responsible for the lives of _both _men were cramping horribly. They were too tense and clinging to too small a space to hold out for long.

The deep rumble that was Snow's voice echoed loudly off the surrounding stone. "Lightning!" he bellowed. He called out again, but his voice was drowned out by Vanille's scream. She had, apparently, reached the other side and was now witnessing the events unfold before her eyes.

Her scream was quickly muffled, and Snow heard Lightning hiss at Vanille to shut up, the worry in her tone was prevalent. Scuffling of feet was heard, and, when Snow dared to peek up once, he saw that four team members had gathered at the edge of the path, Sazh standing furthest back, eyes fearful and flitting downward, nervously mentioning something about a rope.

Lightning was already down on one knee, quickly assessing the situation presented to her. Snow could feel the intensity in her eyes; could nearly feel them sweeping over him, wondering how good of a grip Snow had on the ledge…and on Hope. "Fang, let me see your lance." As Lightning spoke, she never removed her eyes from Snow's sweat-drenched body and Hope's trembling, mute form beneath. When Snow glanced helplessly in her direction, he saw her give him an imperceptible nod.

Fang didn't seem to grasp Lightning's request—she was too busy trying to calm a quietly sobbing Vanille. "Now!" Lightning roared, Sergeant Farron quickly returning to the fore. Fang quickly figured out what was being requested of her and produced the lance with little more hesitation, which was a good thing for Snow, or so he thought.

A long string of vulgarities reverberated throughout the tower. "Barbed wire. Damn it all, Fang!"

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting this sort of situation to arise!" Fang cried, her voice slightly higher than normal. Lightning ignored Fang as she considered Snow sharply again.

"How good of a hold do you have, Snow?"

"If you don't help me soon, we're both going down," Snow replied through gritted teeth. He knew the situation wasn't good—the fear in Lightning's eyes spoke volumes. The tiny footing above simply wouldn't suffice to hold someone as they leaned down to pull Snow and Hope up. In addition, the distance between where Lightning currently kneeled and the location of Snow and Hope's dangling bodies was too great of a span to bridge with an offered hand.

_Crossing this was a damn fine idea._

Lightning roughly pinched the bridge of her nose in thought. "Snow," she said, her head snapping back to him. "Do exactly as I say. Do not question me. Understand?"

"I feel better about your damn idea already!" Snow shouted. He looked down when he felt Hope writing beneath him and saw the reason almost immediately—the collar of Hope's jacket had shifted and was now strangling him. Hope had his fingers tucked beneath the collar, his hands fighting desperately for space so he could continue to breathe. Panic quickly began to settle in, along with a newfound sense of urgency.

"Hope, Snow, listen to me." The same sight must have caught Lightning's attention as well. Her voice caught in her throat as she spoke to both males. "You both are going to be fine. Snow, swing Hope up to me. Hope, when he does that, I need you to grab my hand. Okay?"

Hope gave a strangled plea for them to hurry as a response.

"Snow, once Hope has my hand, you're going to take his arm and let go of the edge. Do you understand?"

"No, I don't!" Snow snapped, blinking sweat furiously from his eyes. "First off, I can't possibly pick up enough speed with what I'm holding on to in order to throw Hope up there. Two: even if I did, my weight would snap his arm!"

"Snow?"

"What?" Hysteria was threatening to overtake his normally cool demeanor.

"Do you trust me?"

Snow's head bowed for a moment, eyes closed. He perceived Hope's struggles just a few feet below, feeling him twist and jerk awkwardly beneath his fingers. Lightning's eyes were glued on him—he could _feel _those sparkling eyes searching him, impatiently awaiting his response. He opened his eyes, set his jaw, and nodded towards Lightning. Her face softened in return.

"On the count of three," she began, but was interrupted by Snow.

"My count." Quickly he prepared himself for the task ahead, ever mindful of the situation Hope was in below him. "Get ready, Hope." _You're about to hurt like hell. _"One, two…three!"

Every ounce of muscle in Snow's body coordinated their efforts, lending Snow enough strength to bring Hope's body far back behind him, feeling the jacket catch and constrict even more severely around Hope's throat. Out of the corner of his eyes, Snow saw Hope's hands still scrambling at the collar, at his neck, panicking about his suddenly limited ability to breathe.

"Get ready, Hope!" Snow cried. Hope _had _to be ready. If he wasn't, if Hope missed Lightning's now-outstretched hand, Snow doubted he'd be able to manage a second attempt.

As Hope rounded past Snow's back in a wide arc, Snow heaved upwards, literally dragging Hope to Lightning. Lightning reached out quickly, grabbing at Hope's already falling hand.

_Why was Hope falling?_

Snow couldn't piece it together at first. And then, in one horrifying moment, he understood: Hope was falling because _Snow _was falling.

Snow had lost his grip.

The four gathered around the edge again, all inhaling sharply. Lightning recovered quickly, lunging down to wrap strong fingers around Hope's wrist. The other three, finally coming to their senses, dashed forward and grabbed hold of her body, ensuring Lightning didn't tumble over the edge with her two favorite boys.

Hope let out a roar of pain, proceeded shortly thereafter by a loud _pop_. His shoulder, under Snow's weight, had popped out of its socket, and was now supporting Snow from a completely inhuman angle.

And yet…and yet _they were alive_.

Lightning hung over the edge of solid walkway, her torso only being held up by the strength of her own core. Fang, Sazh, and Vanille all gripped her waist or legs, digging in with the heels of their feet to prevent any untimely deaths from occurring.

Hope clung to Lightning's forearm, tears streaming freely from his eyes due to the pain. No whimpers escaped through his lips, though; other than the salty liquid flowing from his eyes, he made no indication he was in pain, despite the current condition of his shoulder. It was contorted at an odd angle, loose and limp, unable to work properly, but still…he held on to Snow.

Or, rather, Snow held on to Hope for dear life.

"Snow, climb up!" If Lightning was feeling any pain or strain, she wasn't about to show it. She stared down, past Hope to Snow, wearing a calm expression, as if this were an everyday occurrence.

That same feeling of tranquility was not shared by Snow, who didn't even have the slightest idea on how to go about using a teenage boy and a lean woman as his ladder to safety.

"How?" Groans from above followed Snow's query.

"Grab Hope's waist, first."

Snow did as was instructed, feeling particularly guilty when Hope released a small sob when Snow's weight shifted from Hope's arm to his middle.

"Up to Hope's shoulders."

"But—"

"Do it, Snow." Hope, his face tight in determination, though paled with pain, spoke this time. "I'll live."

Snow didn't respond. Instead he carefully climbed up Hope's middle, wrapping a giant hand around Hope's chest and heaving himself up to the boy's shoulders, attempting, for Hope's sake, to place most of the weight on Hope's good side. Hope refrained from crying out this time, though he bit his lip so fiercely that it was bleeding freely.

"Now, grab my arms and work your way up. Fang or Sazh, one of you needs to help him up."

_How the hell can she be so calm?_

Snow began to climb upwards again, only pausing in his ascent when his fingers – sore and stiff – wrapped around Lightning's tiny arms. He felt the solid mass of muscle beneath the soft pads of his fingers and silently thanked Lightning for being the woman she was, thorns and all. If she wasn't, they'd all be dead four times over.

His gaze followed Lightning's trunk to solid ground, which was only inches away and about a foot above him, where Fang was waiting with outstretched arms. "Come on," she urged, wiggling her fingers impatiently. "Come to momma."

Snow reached out and felt Fang's horribly strong grip cut off the circulation in his hands. Fang began scooting backwards, slowly dragging Snow to his salvation on the safe path above. Once he tumbled onto solid ground, he almost cried in thanks. Sazh and Vanille both flew over to his side and wrapped their arms around him. "Never do that again!" Sazh demanded, very close to tears, pushing himself away from Snow. Vanille still clung to him.

But he couldn't get carried away with celebrating. Not yet.

He got back to his feet, gently pushing Vanille away and cautiously returning to the edge. He saw Fang standing over Lightning, trying to determine the best way to go about business. Snow motioned Fang away and warned Lightning to hang on.

Though his body was exhausted and felt like mush, Snow still lowered himself into a squat. Almost immediately he could feel his leg muscles begin to burn, but he pushed beyond the pain, concentrating fully on the task before him. Slowly, carefully, he inched forward until he hovered over Lightning's middle, where he then proceeded to wrap one arm easily around the underside of her waist, and the other snaked around the broadest part of her chest which, at any other time, would have prompted _some _sort of comment from Sazh.

The close proximity to Lightning, being able to _feel _her breathing beneath him, renewed Snow and gave him newfound strength. His muscles contracted easily, lifting the light weight of Lightning and the lesser weight of the nearly-unconscious Hope. Ever so slowly, he reeled Lightning in, and as she neared the ledge, Fang and Sazh approached, ready to grab Hope, and Vanille was dancing on her tiptoes nearby. As soon as they hauled the young boy to safety, Snow gave one final, great tug and pulled Lightning up as well.

Lightning's legs cleared the precarious edge, and, once they did, exhaustion overtook Snow once more. He released a breath he hadn't known he was holding and stumbled back and sideways to the wall, Lightning still in tow. His back struck unforgiving stone, but he didn't care—it was a wonderful reminder that they were safe.

All of them. They were all safe.

He scooted an extra few feet away from the ledge, still clinging to Lightning dearly, fearful to release her lest she somehow be placed into another precarious situation. He sank into a sitting position, plopping Lightning between his legs.

Lightning, of course, wouldn't stay. She wrangled herself from Snow's weakened grasp and rose back to her feet, curtly stomping towards the somehow-still-conscious Hope. Everyone, sensing the wrath of the l'Cie in her, scattered at her approach.

She was seething. Anger was bubbling from her eyeballs, and poor Hope was on the receiving end. Hope began to apologize, his drooping eyes becoming quite alert. His tongue was moving as quickly as possible, trying to get his words straight, but all speech was stopped when Lightning raised her hand.

Hope nearly choked. "W-w-what are you going—"

A shrill cry echoed through the tower when Lightning roughly swung her hand down to grab Hope's shoulder. The second hand followed quickly thereafter. She had a firm grip; her knuckles were white from the strain.

From Snow's location, he could see Lightning imbue Hope with a withering glare. Hope began to apologize again, even as a slight tinge of green began to overtake the paleness of his face, but once more his words were cut short by Lightning jerking his shoulder back into place with a loud _pop._

"Next time, pay attention to what you're doing. We can't afford to make mistakes." Lightning's voice was barely above a whisper, but it achieved the desired effect. Hope was quaking, and not just from the pain or the sudden onslaught of nausea. "Vanille, heal him. Fang, Sazh: go clear out the room right ahead. Wait until Vanille is done. Take Hope with you."

Fang and Sazh nodded silently, both casting Hope a sympathetic glance. Vanille was already hard at work; in fact, she had begun healing Hope before the words even escaped Lightning's mouth. Snow, on the other hand, remained forgotten on the sidelines. He found himself not giving a damn.

Vanille, having successfully completed her given task, rose to her feet and helped Hope up as well. He gave her a warm, sleepy smile, thanking her for her work. Vanille nodded once and slid her hand into Hope's, coaxing him to follow. He did, but not right away. He broke from Vanille's grip and made his way to Snow. He tentatively held out his hand, withdrew it, and dropped to his knees to envelop Snow in a tight hug, even though he still sat against the wall. "Thank you," Hope mumbled, sincerity flowing from his words. Snow returned the embrace, too tired to think of a proper response. Hope withdrew his arms quickly, wiping conspicuously at his eyes before retreating with Vanille and the others.

Lightning watched the backs of the four of them disappear around a corner. Once they were completely out of sight, her posture slumped. She slowly, heavily walked over to Snow then, and, just as slowly, she sank to the empty space to Snow's right.

"You'll all be the death of me," she mused, running her fingers through wild locks. Snow broke into a soft smile.

"Hope alone will be the death of me," he responded, lifting a heavy hand to help tame Lightning's mussed hair. "That was quick thinking on your part," he added after a moment.

Lightning shrugged. "I should have had Fang summon her eidolon." A small smile played on her lips, sending a jolt through Snow's core.

"Why didn't you?" He asked lightly, carefully avoiding Lightning's eyes lest she discover the sudden spark of lust that lay within Snow's own gaze.

At that she smiled sheepishly, her hands falling to her sides after fighting her tresses in vain. "She never would have let us hear the end of it." She donned an impressive imitation of Fang. "'Remember that time I saved Hope and Snow? I was fantastic, yeah?'"

Snow's smile broke into a grin. _That was too good to be improvised. I bet she's been practicing Fang's accent…_ "She would have, too. Good thinking."

Another lapse of silence fell between them, but the sounds of a fight could be heard from the next room. Lightning's eyes wandered first towards the sounds of battle, then back to the nefarious ledge. Shadows fell over her face, aging her several years. It pained Snow to see it.

"I thought you guys were…" words failed her, and soon the conversation fell into nothingness. Her hands reached up, gripping the cuff of his coat's sleeve tightly. Snow watched a muscle in Lightning's jaw throb as she fought for control over herself, over her emotions.

Snow tucked a few stray strands of champagne hair behind round ears. "I'm still here, Light," he whispered. "We both are. Me and Hope." Though still slumped against the wall, he reached over to Lightning, winding a hand behind her shoulders. His hand found the opposite shoulder and, with a quick jerk, he pulled her body over, dragging her with ease over his legs and hugging her tight to his chest, allowing her head to rest easily in the crook of his neck.

Lightning curled herself into a ball as Snow's arms wrapped around her. He didn't need to say anything—his actions spoke for him well enough.

He was there for her, even when she didn't ask for him to be. He would always be there, rain or shine, and he wasn't about to leave her side. He'd be her shoulder to cry on. If possible, he'd try to be everything for her. All she had to do was allow him to be close.

Her body quivered beneath him, and he felt her muscles tense and relax as she allowed some of her fears to be vented and released, but he still allowed the silence to continue on. She didn't need his words – just him. Snow knew that and, so, his arms only tightened around her.

No further thoughts entered his mind. His desire for her only increased as time went on, but he made no move to take her in this state. That's not how he wanted it to be. Not at all. Instead he enjoyed the moment, because it signified something of great importance to him: Lightning Farron had come to depend on Snow.

A small smile returned to his lips as he buried his face in Lightning's tangled mane.

* * *

Fang came around the corner to announce that the room had been cleared and camp prepared. She stopped short in her tracks, the strangest sight greeting her eyes.

Lightning was curled into Snow's chest, hardly visible beneath Snow's massive arms. Her legs trailed behind her, one wrapped lightly around Snow's.

Snow's face was buried in Lightning's hair, his arms encircling her body protectively.

Both were fast asleep.

Fang chuckled to herself, then poked her head into the room to call Sazh outside. He promptly followed, perhaps hoping for his promised tumble with Ragnarok.

He, too, saw the same sight as Fang, and his reaction was similar. He stopped dead in his tracks as he considered the strange sight before him. It took a moment for everything to sink in, but once it did he gave Fang a broad, proud, knowing grin and tapped the side of his nose.

"About damn time."


	13. Getting to Know You

**Note: Woo! I shaved the time down to two weeks, at least! I'm hoping to continue shaving it down and getting it back to weekly updates!  
**I wanted to take a moment to thank those that have helped me get this far. Firstly, to Sakura Moon who gave expert advice on plot locations and entertaining situations to place our heroes into. Secondly I'd like to thank Te-GR, who not only found the time to contact me with suggestions and ideas about the story, but also created some amazing fanart relating to chapter 6 (you can find the link on my profile). Thirdly, to Muffled Snickers, who always leaves AMAZING reviews! I love reading them! Fourth, I'd like to thank Hee7 for her advice when I first started this story. She's the reason I have so much interaction between the entire group, which is an idea I've grown to love. I'm so happy it's not solely about Snow and Lightning...and Hee's the one to thank for that! Also, I wish I had the room to thank all those that have consistently reviewed. The fact that you take the time to review so often is truly an honor, and I always enjoy seeing what you have to say.  
**Thank you all so much! I hope to see those who read my story review my page...I like to hear your comments about the story thus far. It is, as always, very inspirational to hear from the readers. I know it sounds cliche, but it _is _true!**

* * *

Typically when Lightning thought of a town, the first location that would pop into her head was Bodhum. In that city there were always people out and about; either at Lebreau's, on the beach, or plowing through each of the shops in the market district. In a city people should be talking, laughing, gossiping, running errands, _moving. _There should be _noise._ People. _Life. _

Not this. Never this.

Oerba was still, silent. Anything beyond the gentle embrace of the wind remained lifeless and stale. The only sign of activity was the independently swirling crystalline shards floating lazily through the air, a testament to the events that had occurred there, however long ago.

Lightning took a step forward, kicking a small pebble as she moved. The rock grating against the stone pathway sent harsh echoes reverberating off the walls and buildings, somehow creating a more desolate environment than before. A shudder threatened to overtake her body; an action she hadn't performed in quite some time. She fought to retain it and very nearly lost the battle. Her saving grace was Snow quietly walking up behind her and laying his hands, strong and comforting, on her shoulders.

All eyes pivoted to Fang and Vanille as they began their approach to their homeland. Pain and overwhelming sadness dared to overcome Vanille as her gaze slowly swept across the desolate town before her—it was uncharacteristic of Vanille to appear as she did now. The image of the normally peppy girl now appearing so haunted disturbed Lightning yet again. She was forced to avert her gaze, to find something else to dwell on, before the atmosphere began to affect her as it did Vanille.

She found Fang just a few feet ahead of Vanille and, thankfully, the elder tribeswoman didn't appear anywhere near as troubled by their now-abandoned home as her younger counterpart seemed. Her eyes, still sad, did not carry the same heavy weight as Vanille's: the ghosts of the past didn't seem to be haunting her. She considered the pathetic sight before her- the dilapidated and rusted-over buildings-with a downturned mouth. "Not how I remember it…" Fang gave Vanille a weak smile and received a haunted replica in return. Fang saw this almost immediately, and her smile faltered and failed. She paused, lost in thought, for a stretch of time before donning an even more impressive façade. "That battle against that damn fal'Cie really burned me out. Let's go back to our little house and see if our beds are still there. I'm bushed."

As they watched the only remaining Pulsians venture forth to their two-story home, Lightning was struck by the thought that they simply did not belong here. This wasn't _their_ home: this was the home of their _enemy. _This was the home of the people that Lightning, Sazh, Snow, and Hope were raised to hate and despise. The four from Cocoon were far from welcome here, even if they had befriended the last two inhabitants of this planet and were made Pulse l'Cie. It didn't change the fact that Cocoon still hated Pulse and everything about it.

The thought made Lightning uneasy. It made her feel unwelcome. She was trespassing and she needed to leave as soon as possible.

Hope inhaled deeply somewhere behind Lightning, disrupting the quiet that had settled once Fang and Vanille had vanished. "Why?" he asked, his voice hardly above a whisper. "Why did this happen? Is this because of Cocoon…?"

Snow spoke; his voice crackled right next to Lighting's ear. "I don't know." His proximity to Lightning had gone previously unnoticed, and the sudden realization that his chest was brushing against her back sent a jolt through her core.

"Why did we hate them?" Hope continued. "Why were we at war?"

"Fear." Lighting banished the crystalline dust gathering in front of her face with a wave of her hand. "Manipulation. We were told to hate them, told that Pulse wanted us dead because they were jealous of what we had, even though we were the ones stealing _their _artifacts," Lightning laughed mirthlessly at the irony. "And all the while we were told to hate them and fear them…we were never once told that everyone here was dead. That would ruin the effect. We would no longer be so easily manipulated if we had no one to be terrified of."

"But why were we told that Pulse was so evil?" Hope pressed. "It's all lies!"

"The world doesn't follow the virtues it teaches, kid," Snow answered, squeezing Lightning's shoulders reassuringly before releasing and walking to the fore. "We're told to be honest citizens by the very government that uses all these lies to start up a _war." _Snow's grip tightened_. _"The war, in and of itself, is a lie, too. You can't have a war when there's nobody to fight against." He grunted and kicked a stone to the side. "The Sanctum used the war as a means of scaring the shit out of us in order to keep us in line. It made things like The Purge excusable, tolerable, because the Sanctum told us it was to keep the evil influences of Pulse away." Another grunt, this one of disgust, was given. "Bastards."

"Maybe, once, there was a reason for it – the fighting and the hatred. Now, though…" Lightning nodded towards the lifeless town. "Now the reason is lost. Now it's all just a means of control." She scowled terribly at the dust in the air. "Do you think this is all Barthandelus' doing?"

"It's the whole damn Sanctum!" Snow's fist swung to the side and hit a low cement wall to his left. Hope nodded slowly, starting to understand; Sazh remained utterly silent. "That's why we created NORA. We knew something was up, and we didn't want something as corrupt as the Sanctum-"

"You created NORA based on a hunch," Lightning corrected softly, shifting her weight to the opposite leg. "You had no proof of anything that the Sanctum was doing. You acted irresponsibly for no reason besides your _hunch_. The world can't run like that. We need evidence to support our actions, and we have to have a cause greater than ourselves to fight for. Not a hunch."

"But my hunch was right," Snow mumbled. Lightning ignored him.

"What's our cause then, Light? To…save Cocoon?" Hope frowned at this. "But they hate us. They want us dead…"

"It doesn't matter," she interrupted. "It's still our home. Our goal is to save Cocoon, to find out the truth, and settle this once and for all."

"We haven't heard the truth once yet," Snow said quietly.

"We're forgetting something very important here," Sazh said slowly. All three were startled by his entrance into the conversation—they'd nearly forgotten about him. "Dajh. Dajh and Serah. Everything started because of them. That's why we're here. This wasn't some glory mission to save Cocoon; it wasn't to find out the _truth. _It was to save the ones we love." A hateful glare was sent skyward, towards the sphere of their home in the sky. "We'd by lying to ourselves if we said otherwise. We didn't start out as heroes. We had selfish motivations. We're no better than anybody else in this whole damn mess."

"Sazh…?" Snow strode back to Sazh, brushing past Lightning as he did so. None of them had seen the old man so serious in a long while. For a moment, Lightning realized that maybe, just maybe, he had been hiding this sadness behind his twisted jokes. _Maybe there's something to that old fool after all._

Snow gave an uncertain glance towards Lightning, raising his eyebrows in question. She gave a small shake of her head, 'no', but Snow returned the gesture. She didn't understand until he began to speak that the returned shake meant _I'm not going to listen to you._

"Sazh, man…what's up?"

"I can't help but wonder:" he responded slowly, reaching out a palm to the air so that the crystal dust would settle into the flat of his hand, "is this Dajh's future? What if he never wakes up? What if this is all in vain? What if…" his words fell into a dreary void as a heavy weight dragged his shoulders into a slump. Only seconds passed, but Lightning swore that Sazh seemed to age years before her very eyes as he stood there, bleak and despondent, worried over the future of the only family he had left. Eventually he passed a hand over his face, banishing the ghosts that haunted him. "I'm gonna go find Fang and Vanille," he announced, already striding forward towards the stairs the two Pulsians had ascended. He left as a far older man than Lightning remembered.

His words did not go unnoticed, and, indeed, as Lightning considered them she began to feel his spoken words tearing at her heart. She remained motionless for an unknown span of time, staring blankly at a large particle floating directly before her eyes, taunting her with questions that had no answers. What if Serah never did wake up? What would happen if she _did? _How would they move forward, either way?

Hope called her name and tugged on her cape, but her concentration remained unbroken. Would a life of ignorant bliss, floating around as a speck of dust, be preferable to the harsh reality that would await Serah's return? Why would it be worth returning in the first place? Serah's fiancée would have left her for Lightning. Serah had no other family, no college. Her home wouldn't be the same home that she remembered it, and her welcome would be more than hostile, considering her status as a Pulse l'Cie. What good would it do to come back at all?

She didn't see Snow nudge Hope towards the dwelling, but she returned to reality with a start when she felt two small, warm hands encircle her own. "It's okay, Light," Hope said as brightly as he could muster. "We'll get through this—all of us!"

Lightning managed a grunt of approval and ushered him towards the stairs, Snow trailing far behind. She waited at the bottom landing for Snow while Hope begrudgingly entered the second story by himself. Snow moseyed over, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "So," he said slowly, his eyes glaring at Hope's retreating form, "like Hope said: it's won't happen. Sazh is an eternal pessimist. They'll come back."

She remained still, her eyes downcast. "And then what?"

Snow didn't have an answer. Not then. He sighed loudly and braced himself against the railing opposite Lightning. "Hell if I know," he muttered darkly. He removed his bandana and tousled his hair roughly, obviously frustrated. After a minute, he replaced his headgear, swearing quietly. "Come on," he said gruffly. "Let's head upstairs."

Lightning unsheathed her Blaze Edge absentmindedly, admiring the newest alterations Sazh had volunteered to add. "We need to clear the area first. Come on, let's go." She turned to leave, to head back to the center of town to check inside the buildings on the outskirts, but stopped after a few steps when she realized Snow, for once, wasn't following. Snow seemed torn. Glances were cast between Lightning and the stairs Sazh and Hope had climbed minutes before.

"What?" she inquired. "We need to hurry, before dark. That Dahaka fal'Cie slowed us down a lot," she added, irritated, as she took note of the low position of the sun in the sky. She made a move to leave, but still Snow wouldn't budge. She was about to give up, to go on her own, when she heard Snow take several long, heavy strides forward.

His fingers wrapped around Lightning's upper arm without trouble. "I can't," he sighed, turning Lightning and gripping both her shoulders. His eyes were clenched tightly shut and a muscle was throbbing in his jaw. He curved downwards and pressed his forehead against hers.

Lightning cursed that damn fluttering in her chest, wishing that it were physically possible to punch it out of her. "Why not?" She asked lightly, watching tightly closed eyes for a clue to his inner thoughts.

He didn't answer right away. Instead, Lightning watched his brow furrow deeper, sending a shockwave of premature creases across his forehead. His breathing became quicker, shallower; his face slightly flushed. More than anything else, though, she became quite aware of how very near her mouth was to his. She could feel his warm breath tickling her lips and, more than anything, she was largely concerned by the sudden, overwhelming desire to have her lips meet his. She wondered at the intensity of the feeling—it was horrible, as if it had been burning within her for ages and was trying to finally claw its way out. It took every morsel of her being to control herself.

_Did Snow feel the same way?_

Snow inhaled deeply and held the air in his lungs, a slight frown appearing. "I need to go help Sazh. He's having a rough time." Still, though, he refrained from moving.

A simple "Oh," was all Lightning could manage. She felt foolish, exposed, and far too weak. Her disappointment at his refusal to travel with her was stupid, childish, and yet she still felt it writhing within her like a snake.

Snow had begun fiddle with strands of Lightning's hair, gently brushing the tips of his fingers across her neck as he did so. She somehow retained a second shudder: she'd be damned if she let Snow know he had this sort of effect on her. She had a sneaking suspicion that this was all part of some plan of his.

If it was, then he'd have to be disappointed with the results.

"You need to go help Sazh," Lightning said with some difficulty. She'd be lying if she said she wanted him to go and, ironically enough, that was part of the reason she wanted him to leave—she didn't enjoy the idea of thriving on his presence like that. "Send Hope back out. He can come with me."

Snow's hand, still tangled in Lightning's locks, curled into a fist and a scowl took control of his features. "Damn it." With that he backed away from Lighting, eyes still adamantly closed, spun on his heels and retraced Sazh's footsteps, leaving Lightning utterly alone.

"Damn it," Lightning echoed, her back pressing hard against a nearby street sign. Why did he have to make her feel like that _every time_? Why did she get so much pleasure out of his mere presence? He wasn't _that _good of company…

They'd been through a lot together, though, and that had forged some sort of bond between them…but not enough to warrant _this. _No. _This _was entirely because of _him_, not their current life-or-death situation. _Snow _had this effect on her. _Snow _made her forget her walls and personal boundaries. He had been the shoulder she had shed her tears on yesterday. He was the only one willing to stand by her, through thick and thin; punches to the jaw and sharp retorts. He was the only one willing to put up with her shit and try to get to know her. It was all _him._

_Him. _Snow. It was that simple.

But this feeling of depending on someone else…she wasn't used to it. She had counted on herself for everything up until this point, and now she had to rely on Snow to get this…euphoric feeling of sappy, shitty, girl-bliss? She had to pass off that control of herself to him? The thought was troubling to Lightning, who was so used to being the one in charge of herself and everything around her. The situation was always hers to control.

This time around, everything had fallen in around her without her say-so.

Her eyes fell on another crystal particle, reminding her of what she had lost in order to gain Snow. If it wasn't for Serah turning into the crystal that Snow still carried in his pocket, if it wasn't for their lives going to hell in a hand basket, then she never would have experienced this…_feeling._ She never would have known the joy that Snow brought her. And yet…

_Serah._

"Miss me?"

Lightning spun to see Hope smiling cheerfully up at her, silvery strands of hair falling stubbornly into pale eyes. Without thinking she brushed the fine strands from his face, earning a slightly embarrassed blush from Hope. "You wish," she said, patting his cheek once before dropping her hand.

_He always had a perfect sense of timing…_

Hope rubbed his shoulder self-consciously. "Uh, Snow said you needed me…?"

_Oh yeah. _"He said right. I figured you'd be a good man for the job," she said with a small smile. Hope seemed pleased by her words. "I need to clear out the area. Want to help?"

Another grin blossomed across his youthful face. "Sure!"

The two began their rounds of the town, carefully checking each building for any sign of monsters. When Lightning and the others had first arrived in the town, it had seemed as if all was quiet within Oerba's limits. She soon discovered that she was quite mistaken. There were several little fiends—and much larger ones-hiding behind corners and walls, all eager for a fight and ready to pounce upon them as soon as they arrived near their resting places. None ever proved to be more than they could handle, but many served to be a surprise to the unprepared Lightning and easily spooked Hope.

About halfway through cleaning the main plaza, Hope and Lightning—well, mostly Hope—were deeply involved in a conversations involving things that had passed and things they wished had never been. "I was made fun of in school a lot," Hope recalled, twirling his boomerang absently in nervous hands. "I was the scrawny nerd that looked like a girl, so all the guys thought it would be a great idea to constantly make me look bad. I was never any good at sports, which didn't help. I also didn't really like being around people, so I had a lot of problems making any sort of friends there."

Lightning acknowledged Hope's words with a slight nod while her eyes busily scanned the area surrounding them. She knew what it was like to be the shy girl in school. Sure, the guys liked her well enough, but she had to turn them down quite often due to her inability to balance a boyfriend between all her other responsibilities. Amongst the males she soon got a bad reputation for being the 'Queen Bitch'…and, of course, since the guys had looked twice at Lightning, the girls automatically hated her and considered her a whore. "What'd you do about it?"

Hope shrugged, his eyes downcast. "I tried to ignore it. The one time I tried to fight back I got stuffed in a trash bin."

Automatically Lightning's eyes narrowed, none too pleased to hear this news. The very thought of someone daring to embarrass Hope in such a manner sent nearly uncontrollable anger coursing through her at record speed. "At least next time you see everyone, you'll be a hero…and a hell of a lot tougher than all of them combined," she said proudly, tapping him affectionately on the jaw with her knuckles.

"Yeah," Hope said, a smile creeping across his lips as he nimbly hopped over a fence. "All because I had a good teacher. The best teacher, I'd say."

She didn't reveal how touched that simple comment made her feel. Instead she grunted in reply, concealing a smile of her own.

"You know," Hope started after a pause, poking his head around the corner of the warehouse wall, diagonal from the dwelling, "I think that we—HOLYSHITFIRE!" He jumped back as a Vampire lunged towards them, jumping out from behind a large piece of machinery it had been residing behind in the warehouse. Lightning was even startled by its coming, but not nearly so much as Hope, who had started running in the opposite direction.

Lightning just shook her head and drew her blade, calming her nerves as she darted up to the lumbering beast to put it to an end. She knew Hope would soon realize his error and return, shamefaced, within a few moments. She ran her fingers down her blade, deciding then to experiment with an iced edge on her blade, when Hope appeared by her side once more, red-cheeked and boomerang at the ready.

She said nothing about his embarrassing retreat. "Slash and Burn it, Hope," she ordered. Hope had foreseen this command; already his hands were glowing brightly and a few moments later he sent a wicked storm the enemy's way.

"So," she called after a particularly ruthless onslaught on her part. She drew back and shook her arms out. "'holy shit-fire', huh? That one of Sazh's?" She watched Hope juggle a monstrously huge ball of flame between his hands, preparing to hurl it at the foe before him.

"That obvious, huh?"

"He's the only one who makes his cursing that…original."

Hope cackled, his face brightly illuminated by the explosion at the Vampire's feet. He was good with magic—very good. Better than anyone else on their team. It was so natural to him…

The beast was felled quickly after Hope's spell. He dusted his hands off on his shirt, satisfied with his work, acting as if he had never abandoned the battle to begin with. "Don't mess with us!" He jeered, shaking a fist at the ashes of their fallen enemy, "'cause me and Light are the best!"

Grinning, Lightning led Hope out of the warehouse and back onto the street.

They walked in silence for awhile, their senses becoming far more alert as the dusk settled in around them. Hope never strayed far from Lightning's side—if she'd shift, even slightly, to the right, she could feel her arm brush against his jaw. She understood his apprehension, but still…did he _have _to be that close?

She, however, was the only one that seemed to mind.

Soon their rounds of the village ended, with all of the enemies in the area immediately surrounding the dwelling effectively dead. They began to pick up their pace until they drew close to the stairs, which was when Hope began to fall behind, his expression clouded and troubled. His hand touched the railing of the staircase and he sighed heavily. Lightning, by this point, was already halfway to the second story. Upon hearing his nonverbal cue of displeasure, Lightning's feet slowed, then stopped. "What?" she queried, peering over the railing at Hope below.

He ran his fingers through matted hair, heaving yet another sigh. "Do we have to go up?"

Lightning glanced towards the door. She could hear Snow and Fang's laughter from where she stood. A gentle glow emanated from within, along with the smell of roasted fruits: it all seemed incredibly inviting, especially after not having a proper roof to stay under for quite some time. She longed to go inside and discover just what it was that caused Snow to laugh so much—and she wanted to hear that sound again.

But Snow had left her to ease Sazh's burden. She could sacrifice a few moments of comfort to help Hope.

"We don't have to," she stated. "Though it is getting dark."

"I know, but…do we have to go now?"

Her ears pricked again when Snow's voice rumbled through the air. She wanted to be there, more badly than she would ever wish to confess…but she had to forgo that, for now. "What's eating you?" She turned away from the door and descended down to where Hope now sat on the last stair. She joined his side, stretching her legs out after she sat. For a moment she thought she saw Hope's eyes lingering on her thighs, but upon a second examination she discovered that she was quite mistaken—his eyes were clearly and obviously aimed forwards.

He sighed again, throwing his head back to gaze at the bright orb of Cocoon. "We've come a long way," he said, his eyes reflecting his home. Lightning nodded her assent, silent, not entirely sure why he had dallied and requested she do so as well. "I've come a long way too. An average, nerdy kid-turned-l'Cie, off on some big adventure…how cool is that?" A brief grin flashed across his features before it melted away. "But I didn't do it alone. I didn't change on my own. You helped me with that, Light."

She still remained silent. What was the point of this? Hope knew she wasn't sentimental or—

"We're a good team." He said forcefully, resolutely, reaffirming this thought in his mind. "Do you think so, too?" His head cocked to the side, watching her carefully, nervously awaiting an answer.

"The best," she responded with the smile she reserved only for Hope. "Fiends don't stand a chance against you and me."

He grinned brilliantly again but it faded away just as fast. Soon he began plucking at the hem of his shorts, his eyes diverted away from Lightning. "What about you and Snow?" He asked quietly. "Do you think you guys make a good team, too?"

Her body went rigid. "What do you mean? What is this about?"

Hope scrubbed his face fiercely with one hand before turning his attention back to the velvet blanket of sky above him. Lightning waited as he took in the sight of the numerous stars, of Cocoon, and it seemed to ease his frustration some.

"I mean…why Snow? You hated him when we started out. You two were horrible with the way you fought. You couldn't stand him. But…"

"Things change, Hope. Like you said: you've changed since you started this adventure. So have I. So has Snow." She tugged on her cape out of nervous habit. "People change the way they think. That changes their behavior and the way that they view the world. That's what happened with me—us."

"But has Snow really changed?" Hope swiveled around to sit on his knees, now watching Lightning intensely. "Or is it just you? Maybe you're…you're rushing into things, or making a mistake, or—"

"Hope," she said, her voice a low warning. Hope froze, his mouth still hanging open from the unspoken last half of the sentence. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep her anger in check. He had hit a nerve, striking a topic she had wondered and pushed from her thoughts far too often. Hope knew her far too well, it would seem.

Hope waited in terrified silence as Lightning regained her composure. "What is this about, Hope? Why bring this up now? You've been leaving Snow alone about all this, but now…"

He was hesitant to answer. He shifted, rubbing his palms together nervously. "It's just…" Head hung, embarrassed, he continued. "When I told Snow I was gonna leave him alone, I figured you'd never actually _do _anything. I thought for sure that everything would be done and over with that night. When I saw things kept going with you two, I was…really…unsure about things. I didn't wanna bother you guys, though, because Snow and I finally let everything go and I didn't want to be the one to stir things up again. So…that's that. But I'm worried now…"

A thick, strained, "Oh?" bubbled from Lightning. Hope missed the anger and agitation behind it.

"I promised to protect you, and this—you and Snow being together or…or whatever—is something I can't protect you from. You're going in alone, and I'm just…" he groaned. "I don't want you to get hurt, Light. I don't see how you'll get out of this without hurting in some way. I don't…that's…the last thing I want. I don't want to see you hurt at all." He laughed darkly. "And besides, I'd kill Snow if _he _was the one that hurt you."

_I believe him._

"I know I can't protect you from everything. I probably can't protect you from _anything, _really..." He blinked, hard. "It's your life, and it's none of my business, and whatever else you want to put in there is fine, too. I know. It's just that…" He heaved another sigh, scrubbed his face again.

"When I first met you, you were so intense, so focused. You made me forget about my mom and instead you made me think only about surviving. You taught me everything I know now. You showed me how to act when life got me down, and through it all you were always there to help me up when I fell down…or you got in the way when some fiend was trying to eat me." He chuckled weakly at that. "But at some point I thought that I was too weak to carry on. I couldn't protect myself or anybody else. I thought I was useless. But then, my eidolon…"

Hope's words faded into silence, but Lightning didn't need him to continue. She already knew what he was trying to say. Hope had nothing to keep him motivated, and so he lost his faith and his will to fight. He fell apart and decided it would be best to remain behind, to give up and accept the inevitable. When that happened, he had gotten his prized summon and found the strength to carry on.

"I realized somewhere around that time that you were the only one that had been there consistently, constantly helping me to get through everything. You taught me to fight, to stay positive about a situation, and to never give up. You're…you were my friend and my mentor. You were all that I had, really. You gave me my dad back, and…"

He was having a difficult time now. He was pausing often to bury his head in the crook of his elbow and taking deep breaths. "I would do anything to protect you, Light. After everything you've done for me; after everything we've been through together and all the stuff you've dragged me through…I owe you that much." He stood and offered a shaking hand to Lightning. Even standing, he was only a head taller than the soldier beside him. "What I'm trying to say, Light, is that you're the only reason I'm still here. I owe you…everything. If you want to…to go on with this…Snow-and-Lightning plan, then…okay. But if something ever happens and you get hurt some way, then I'll still be here, Light." His eyes were fixed on hers, palm still outstretched. "You've done too much for me. I won't abandon you, not ever."

Lightning was completely thrown. This was the highest praise anybody had ever offered her, and by far the kindest thing anyone had ever said…yet it was coming from a boy, a teenager. Then again, Hope was beyond his years, and she knew all he had said was sincere. That was all that mattered.

She accepted Hope's hand and allowed him to assist her in standing, though she needed no help with the task. Her anger had melted away quickly—Hope hadn't given her reasons why she and Snow shouldn't try things out. Instead, in her mind, Hope had told her that, rain or shine, Lightning would always have a friend in him. It never occurred to her that Hope had meant something else entirely—the very thought was unthinkable. It had, after all, taken her ages to accept Snow's affections towards her. Accepting Hope's would have made her brain explode in the process.

"You did good work today, kid," Lightning said, still clasping Hope's hand in hers as she led them up the stairs. "You deserve some rest."

Hope's smile had faltered at the word 'kid', but he reinforced it soon after. "Yeah," he agreed with a casual shrug. "I'm pretty tired. I think I'll go right to bed."

They heard the four above them burst into laughter again. "You sure? Sounds like a good time up there…"

"I'm sure," he responded flatly, his eyes skittish. He seemed suddenly desperate to get away. Once they reached the top of the stairs, he slid his hand quickly out of Lightning's and tore inside, ignoring everyone else. He ripped off his coat and scarf and climbed into the bed furthest from where Lightning now stood. Everyone paused in their conversation to watch.

Snow and Vanille were the first to their feet. Vanille ran over to Hope while Snow went directly to Lightning. As Snow approached, Lightning could hear Vanille quietly asking Hope what had happened, and she even watched Hope bury his head into the disintegrating mattress beneath him.

Snow's arm automatically reached out for Lightning's elbow. "Glad to see you're back!" he said, grinning widely, turning to look at Hope when a loud groan escaped him. "What's eating him?"

Lightning merely shook her head, unsure herself. "Let Vanille figure it out," she mumbled, already unfastening her satchel and cape. As always, Snow tried his best to avert his attention, but, as always, she found his eyes wandering back to her. He'd watch with great interest for several seconds before catching himself and turning away again. She rolled her eyes and removed her vest before stretching out her arms.

"Sorry I didn't help out there," Snow said, picking up Lightning's things and folding them absently, tossing each folded object onto the end of one of the beds. He got to the satchel, examined the scratched exterior with a frown, and then added it to Lightning's heap. "Sazh was pretty down and out," he said quietly. "About Dajh."

Lightning nodded once, curtly, deciding it wasn't really any of her business. "Well, he seems fine now."

Snow nodded. "That's Sazh for you. He'll be on the brink of depression one moment, and the next he'll pick himself back up in time for a sex joke."

She snorted and watched Snow remove his trench coat and the coat beneath that, placing those on the bed directly next to Lightning's. He tugged on the scarf tucked into his belt a few times before it came loose. "He always perks up in time for a sex joke," he mused.

"I prefer him when he's brooding," Lightning said, her eyes grateful for Snow's distracting muscles. "Less annoying that way."

Snow, more observant than Lightning gave him credit for being, held his arms wide. "You know you love it," he said, sweeping his hands over his body. Lightning rolled her eyes again and tossed her sheathed Blaze Edge at Snow's head. He caught it with ease and placed it atop Lightning's cape.

"Hey lovebirds," Sazh cooed, earning a laugh from Fang. Once again Hope moaned, and Vanille fussed over him even more, patting his back and muttering something inaudible. Lightning ignored the younger members and instead focused her intense hatred on Sazh. "Come on back here and join us!"

"No."

Snow placed a hand in the small of her back and gently pushed her forwards. "Relax and socialize, for a change!"

Lightning rubbed the bridge of her nose. "With them? Do I have to?"

"Yes. Yes, you do." Snow's hand slid a little lower, still pressing her forwards. "Besides, we may not get many more chances like this. Who's to say how much longer we have left? This could even be the last time—"

"It won't be."

"Who's to say it isn't?"

That made Lightning pause. In all honesty, she couldn't be sure…not about anything, especially the time they had left together. Lightning recalled the day before the fireworks at Bodhum, how she had decided that, after the fireworks, she'd take Serah on a vacation so they could spend some much-needed time together and catch-up with each other. Soon after Serah had announced that not only was she a l'Cie, but she was also engaged to Snow. Then Serah disappeared and Lightning's journey began…and all this took place within the course of a few days.

"When," Lightning said, rounding on Snow and grabbing his wrist, "did you suddenly become Mister Pessimistic? You're supposed to be the team's cheerleader."

"I am what I need to be in order to get the job done," Snow said with a straight face. He took a step nearer to her, his face breaking its indifference and slipping into a daring, coy smile. "But if you'd rather we be alone, then I can show you where I'm sleeping tonight…"

Lightning had been watching Fang and Sazh whispering quietly to each other, prodding each other flirtatiously. Snow's comment wrenched her from her observations rather quickly. She shook her head, recovering quickly. With a repressed smile she said, "I thought you'd be too tired out after your 'counseling session' with Sazh …?"

The surprise on Snow's face was exactly what she had sought. Satisfied by his gaping, Lightning strode over to where Fang and Sazh sat and joined them on the floor on the far side. She noted the strange robot that rested at Fang's side that seemed inoperable. She was about to ask when Snow sat beside her, his face contorted into amused irritation. It was an odd combination.

"That," he said quietly, "was low. Even for you."

"Soldier Girl," Sazh corrected, obviously overhearing Snow's words, "ain't beneath anything." He ignored Lightning's glares and continued with, "But I'm interested in hearing what just occurred to make you say that."

"I second that notion," Fang said, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees.

"Not going to happen," Snow said, leaning back and placing his weight on his arms. "Anyway, now that Light's here and Vanille's with Hope, I guess we can have us some adult conversation."

"Then I guess you'll have to leave the circle, big guy," Fang said, prodding Snow's boot with her own foot.

"Just because you're a 500-year-old harpy doesn't mean—"

"You wanna call me that one more time?" Fang's eyes flashed dangerously. "Go ahead. I dare ya."

Snow grinned. "What…a '500-year-old harpy'? It's the tru-" he was interrupted when Fang punched his jaw, not bothering with holding back any of her strength. "What the hell?" Snow yelped, cupping his already bruising jaw in his hand. "That was uncalled for! Why the hell am I always the one who gets punched in the damn face?" He poked his jaw and cringed. "Shit, this hurts like hell!"

"Maybe," Lightning said, the familiar green glow already working at her fingertips, "your jaw wouldn't be smashed so much if you stopped talking." She held her hand out to Snow's face, and Snow dropped his own hand rather quickly. He closed his eyes when Lightning graced him with her cure, and she was suddenly reminded of their first time alone in Hope's house, where this whole damn mess had come to a head. She put more energy into the spell, forcing the memories away as she concentrated…but she still noticed the odd expression of bliss that Snow donned as she worked her magic on him: his eyes were half-closed, the corners of his mouth upturned into a soft smile. He was enjoying this. That much was obvious.

Lightning was frightened by that. She quickly finished her task and withdrew her hand, folding it neatly inside the other and tucking it into her lap, furrowing her brows and staring at her knees, which were tucked neatly to the side. Why did he enjoy a simple cure?

Snow scooted over until his shoulder was pressed against Lightning's. He gave her another warm smile in thanks.

Lightning allowed the butterflies to wreak havoc in her stomach for a few seconds before effectively killing them. "What's that?" She nodded towards the robot next to Fang.

"Huh?" Sazh craned his neck around Fang to see what Lightning referred to. "Oh, that's just some broken piece of shit—"

"Hey!" Fang punched Sazh's shoulder lightly. "Not funny!"

Clearing his throat and rubbing his arm, Sazh corrected himself. "Some _robot, _which is also, I might add, a _broken _hunk of metal-ow! Woman! Stop!"

Fang's glower spoke volumes.

"Fine!" Sazh said, dejected. "We found this—_this—_and it's just waiting to be fixed. I guess it was Vanille's or something, I don't know."

"While you're fixing that, do you think you can do something about Snow? Something's not right about that one…"

"Hey!" Snow flung his bandana at Lightning's face. "Last I checked, I was more normal than all of you combined!"

Lightning caught Snow's bandana with a deft hand and began winding it up, preparing to strike. Snow lost his bravado rather quickly. "Touch me with that, and I swear I'll call my eidolon to whip your ass."

Lightning had to admit that she was glad Snow wasn't fawning over her like some pathetic, love-sick puppy. Instead of doing everything in his power to win Lightning's affections and acting hurt by her teasing, he would shoot a retort back at her, challenging her in one way or another. Nobody else would have tolerated her antics, but Snow reacted to them…perfectly.

Lightning shook her head, returning the headgear to its proper owner. "Your eidolon? Against me? Please. I'd eat your eidolon for lunch."

Snow was oddly quiet at that. Lightning watched his eyes glaze over in thought while he replaced the black material onto his scalp, deeply entranced and pleased by whatever ideas ran through his mind. What was it that she had said?

"I know what you're thinking, big boy," Fang was grinning stupidly again. "And I'm pretty sure Lightning wouldn't appreciate you picturing her with the Shiva Sisters…"

"I can't even begin to describe how interested I am in your mental images right now," Sazh said earnestly. "All I heard was 'sisters', 'Lightning', and 'eating'. I have no idea what the conversation might have been about, but—"

"Wait." Lightning's voice cut through the clamor, and she now turned to face the scarlet Snow. "Sisters? Your eidolon…it's…two sisters that turn into a motorcycle…that you can then ride?"

"I didn't _choose _them," Snow said sheepishly. "They came to me…and it sounds a hell of a lot worse than it is."

"…summon them, damn it!" Sazh persisted, hitting the floor with the flat of his fist. "I want one for myself!"

"Sazh, they're not even human—"

"I don't care!"

Lightning groaned inwardly. "I'm surrounded by idiots," she muttered.

"—don't understand why you _always _get the sisters!" Sazh was clearly annoyed. "I mean, come on! Why can't I catch a break? My eidolon—well, let's just say that I thought it was a man until Vanille informed me otherwise…and I'm still not entirely sure if she's right. But, I mean, _sisters—"_

"Sazh." Snow held a hand up. "Shut it. I'm serious." Silence fell between them for a few moments before Snow decided to break the tension he had created. "This old man here had a question for you, Light."

"What?" Sazh spluttered, aghast, snapping out of the stupor Snow's eidolon had placed him into. "N-no! No I didn't! Don't listen to the bastard! I didn't have any sort of question for you!"

"What's wrong, Sazh? Scared?" Fang teased, prodding his forearm with a long finger. "You were so interested earlier…"

"I didn't have to fear for my damn life at that point in time!" Sazh looked at Lightning. "Don't listen to these guys—I don't have any questions for you. None!"

"Obviously not." Lightning turned to Snow and felt her insides squirm at the sight of his grin. _When the hell did I become such a damn girl? _"What's all this about?"

"Well…" Snow's face dropped. "Um…ah…"

"So articulate." Fang shook her head before adjusting her position. She swung her legs behind her and rolled onto her stomach, supporting her head on her palms. "Sazh—and Snow, for that matter—are both rather interested in hearing about your…_romantic _life."

Lightning's countenance turned stony. "What?"

"You know. Boyfriends and sex and playthings—that sort of thing. He wanted to know." She pointed to Sazh. "Also him." Her finger moved to Snow. "And her." Then Vanille. "And me."

"No."

Fang sighed. "Is that your response to everything?"

Lightning said nothing: she spied the trouble with answering that question.

"Come on," Fang pushed. "We'll tell you ours if you tell us yours."

"Fang, you're a whore. You and Vanille already told me about your 'private tutoring sessions'…"

Snow and Sazh both choked. "Wait, what?" Snow said, his gaze alternating between Lightning and Fang. "Private tutoring….my interest is doubly peaked." He paused for a second and laughed to himself.

"Apparently Fang was getting bad grades in school—"

"You have schools on Pulse?" Snow asked, genuinely surprised.

"Surprisingly enough, we weren't uneducated idiots. This may surprise you, considering your superior intelligence and all." Fang flipped her hair over her shoulder and began examining it. "And you definitely misunderstood, Light."

"I called you a 'whore' then and there. You didn't—"

"It wasn't the time to discuss it," Fang said, waving it off. "My 'private sessions' were that I demanded this one guy in my class teach me some subject that I don't remember. In return, I wouldn't burn down his house."

Sazh scratched his chin. "You're one psychotic woman. I like that." He and Fang exchanged wicked smiles and turned to Lightning.

"Your turn," Fang said simply.

"No."

"Fine. Snow's turn."

"What?" Snow spluttered. "No. Nono. I don't think—"

Sazh sat upright quite suddenly. "Okay, even I have to know now. How many, Trench?"

Snow groaned and shifted away from Lightning. "I am not having this conversation with you."

"How many?" Sazh persisted, oblivious to the anger rising within Lightning.

_'How many'? What, do guys keep tallies or something? Is that all a girl is to them—another number for their headboard? _Her frown deepened. Had Serah been one of the numbers on Snow's list? Was that all he was after with Lightning…?

"Yeah, Snow," Lightning said casually, studying her nails. "Tell us."

Snow was quietly watching Lightning, who was still picking at her fingers. "You're pissed," he said quietly. "And I didn't even say anything."

_How can he tell? _"No, I'm not," she said with some effort. "I want to know."

"You want to know now, sure, but you'll get all pissy—"

"Was Serah one of them?" She exploded suddenly, aiming her wrath at the unsuspecting Snow. She hated herself for asking, but the question would have burned at her otherwise. Snow gaped openly at the inquiry, too shocked at the sudden flare of anger to respond properly. Sazh and Fang both seemed uncomfortable.

"Hey now," Fang said, trying to soothe the rising tension, "no need for this. It was all in good fun…"

"Was she?"

Sazh began to speak for Snow, but Snow cut him off. "No, Sazh." His eyes, now a fiery blue, swiveled to Lightning and rooted her to her spot. "You must think I'm some bastard, huh? Asking me something like that? What would you do if I said she was? Hit me? Never speak to me again? Kill me? What?"

"Was she?" Lightning said. Her voice was quiet, hardly audible. Snow took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Finally he exhaled slowly, ripping his bandana from his head and chucking it to the far end of the room.

"No," he said, finally. "She wasn't."

The relief flooding through Lightning was indescribable. The bond she had with Serah was sometimes more motherly than sisterly, and so she wouldn't have tolerated hearing that little Serah was busy sleeping around with other guys…especially a guy that Lightning was so fond of.

There was also something beyond that simple explanation as to why she felt so relieved by the answer. It was something sinister; not at all good. Something that shouldn't have been there…and yet, it was. She couldn't quite place it; couldn't put her finger on it…but she could definitely tell something was amiss. She put it aside for now, but promised herself she'd come back to it later.

"I should tell you, though," Snow began again, staring hard at the bandana in the distance. "I've had four or five girls…" he shrugged, rubbed his neck. "Think whatever you want of me for that."

Lightning shrugged, too. "Whatever."

He was startled by this. Snow glanced over, wide-eyed, and considered Lightning for a few moments before smiling with embarrassment and uncertainty. "Okay then."

Fang released a breath she had been holding for some time. "That," she said simply, "was nerve-wracking. I wasn't about to see this relationship that I put so much time and effort into creating go crumbling to the ground." Sazh snorted in laughter beside her. "As for me, well…my number is around two-and-a-half. Not a lot. But it's not quantity…it's quality, right?" Fang winked at Sazh. "This guy'd know."

Lightning buried her head in her hands. "Oh, please, by the Sanctum…don't. I don't even want to know."

Fang laughed, then prodded Sazh with her elbow. "How 'bout you, old man? Let's hear it!"

Sazh's face fell as he tapped the wooden floor beneath his fingers, reminiscing on times long passed. He shook his head imperceptibly before returning to his normal, cheerful self. "Unlike you hormone-driven kids, I was a bit more…_honorable. _I was only ever with…with my wife."

"What?" Snow nearly shouted. "I don't believe you! You're lying!"

Sazh got slightly upset by that. "Why the hell would I lie about that? I'm telling the truth!"

"But…but you…!" Snow spluttered, too shocked to form a coherent sentence.

"It's been three damn years, boy!" Sazh said defensively. "Leave me the hell alone!"

Lightning chuckled as Snow and Sazh continued arguing back and forth. She had to admit: she was surprised by everyone's responses. She thought that Fang's would be triple what she admitted to, and Sazh's…well, she didn't know in their right mind would ever willingly sleep with Sazh, but she figured he may have paid for quite a few companions…

Fang rounded on Lightning now, determination burning brightly in her eyes. "You know ours. Now spill."

Lightning's face remained impassive. "No."

"Yeah, come on," Snow pressed, nudging her with his shoulder. "I'm up for some juicy gossip. Let's hear it!"

"No."

"Don't you think I deserve to know?"

"Maybe you do," Lightning said. "But they don't." Truth be told, she felt slightly embarrassed…and, quite frankly, Sazh and Fang _didn't _need to know at all. It was none of their business. Besides, Hope was only a few feet away…

Her eyes slid over to Hope and Vanille. She noticed that Vanille had fallen asleep at Hope's bedside, her head resting at Hope's shoulder while her body was propped up in a chair. Hope remained still, unmoving—he had seemed to have fallen asleep as well.

"I bet hers is around ten," Fang said silkily, her eyes gleaming. "At least. She seems like the type to vent some steam with anything—"

"Hey!" Snow said sharply. "Watch it!"

Sazh laughed at Snow's words. "Careful, Fang, or you'll anger the bear. Don't diss his woman, or you'll be dead!"

Fang nodded her head, conspiring. "I know," she muttered. "Light," she said, this time more loudly. "If you don't tell us, then I'll be sure to tell Snow all about that one time we were taking a bath and you totally—"

"Don't you even dare think about it," Lightning hissed. "I'll kill you without a second thought."

Fang's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, really? Well, I think that if I told Snow, it'd be worth it…or, you could always just tell us and I'll forget about the story…"

"You…wouldn't dare."

Fang grinned in her smart-ass way and proceeded to speak. "One day Light, Vanille and I were taking a bath—"

"None!" Lightning blurted, not wanting Fang to proceed any further with the horrifying tale. She blinked, realizing her error: she should have just shut Fang up with a swift jab to the nose. Instead she had panicked and the word slipped from her mouth before she could stop it. With a groan, Lightning closed her eyes and began cursing vehemently beneath her breath. "I swear to the fal'Cie, Fang: one day, I will kill you when you least expect it."

Everyone was oddly quiet, making Lightning even more uncomfortable. She felt like dying—her insides were twisting. Everybody here was judging her, she was sure. She was certain that they were finding reasons for her to be so…_virginal. _'Maybe', they'd think, 'she's too stuck-up to consider being with anyone. Maybe she thinks nobody is good enough. Maybe'…

The silence continued to stretch on and on—it seemed to last forever. Lightning could hardly stand it anymore, so she stood quickly and took a step towards the door. Snow's hand shot up and grabbed her wrist, but Lightning jerked it away quickly and continued on her march.

She got outside and braced herself against the railing, berating herself for rising to Fang's bait. She'd kill the wench. She really would. She'd throttle her, beat her over the head with the blunt end of her blade, maim her, and then she'd kill her.

No, no. That wouldn't be bad enough. She'd have to starve her first, then beat her—

"It's not a bad thing, you know," Snow said breathlessly, standing in the open doorway behind her. "In fact, I'd say it's a damn good thing."

"Shut the hell up," Lightning grumbled, clenching her fist. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Too bad," Snow said, taking a few daring steps forward. "I'm tired of only talking on your terms. We're going to have this conversation now. I deserve that much."

"Oh really?" Lightning whirled around. "Says who?"

Snow didn't reply. Instead his eyes met Lightning's and stared her down. Irritated, Lightning turned away. She knew it would be considered a sign of her defeat, but she didn't care. She didn't want t deal with this, not now. She was too annoyed with herself. She was letting herself down.

"So…never, huh?" Snow began, taking a place at Lightning's side, closing the door behind him.

"Shut up, Snow."

"Did you ever date?"

"Snow. I'm warning you."

"Why the hell can't I know?"

The urge to hit something overcame her. As always, the first thought that came to mind was to aim for the skull, for Snow. Her fist clenched even tighter and she grew angrier, but instead of striking out she gripped the railing and squeezed it with all her might. "Snow, you've slept with four or five women. You can't even _remember _how many you've been with. I, on the other hand, haven't even had a…a boyfriend. I never had the time to have one—I mean, I didn't even have time for _school, _let alone a _guy _in my life. I was too busy with other things. And now I find out that you sleep around with all these girls and—"

"Lightning—"

"I mean, how the hell am I supposed to feel? The most I've ever done was make-out with Gadot when I was really drunk and I find out you've—"

"Wait, what?"

"…four or five women and I—"

"Gadot?"

"And then I blurted it out in front of Fang, that stupid bitch! I'll kill her!"

"You and Gadot…why the hell didn't I know about this?"

Lightning blinked stupidly a few times before she realized what she must have admitted. "No. I never said that." She stood erect, her expression fierce. "If you ever dare tell anyone I said that, _ever_, I will—"

"You made out with Gadot? And I never knew? He's my best friend! He never told me! Damn it, when did this happen?"

Lightning groaned again, rubbing her forearm viciously. How could she be so stupid? So hormonal? Why the hell did she just go off on some tantrum? What was wrong with her today? If she wasn't pining after Snow then she was being a moron and telling all this shit that was best left unsaid!

But…if anybody did have a right to know…then it'd be the man standing before her, intensely interested in whatever response she was willing to part with. Lightning groaned for a third time and turned around. She reached up and grabbed the edge of the roof and, with ease, pulled herself up onto it. Snow followed shortly after.

She took a seat on the peak of the shingled building, staring at the bright planet that was her home. She recalled the event that Snow now questioned her on and felt a twinge of sadness in her. It reminded her of Bodhum, of home, and Lightning missed Bodhum terribly.

"Two years ago," Lightning said quietly. Snow inched closer to her, determined to catch every word. "I was scheduled to work that day, but we were overstaffed. I got the day off. Serah wasn't home. I think she was still at school or something. It was the anniversary of my mom's death."

Lightning brushed her hair to the side of her head and began inspecting it, much like Fang had done earlier to her own locks. "I was…down and out, I guess. I went to LeBreau's. I was there all day and for a big portion of the night. I was already drunk when Gadot got there." She drew her knees tight into her chest, bracing herself against the chill of the wind. It was a cold night.

"Believe me, I'm not attracted to that lumbering oaf. At first, when he got there, I insulted him. He got a few in him and began insulting me. We almost got into a bar fight. Some other guys came in and insulted me, so Gadot went after them. It was a short fight. After that, there were arm-wrestling matches against Gadot, followed by some gambling, a few rounds, some more insults. Next thing I know there's another bar fight, and somehow—I don't know how—Gadot and I ended up outside on the beach acting like hormonal teenagers. I didn't really know what I was doing…." She looked back to Cocoon and wondered where Bodhum was located on that bright sphere, wishing she could go there once again.

"I woke up the next morning really hung-over, but my thoughts were still pretty lucid. I remembered everything that happened and I felt like an idiot. I found Gadot a few hours later, told him that if he told anybody about what happened, then I'd cut off his left testicle and shove it up his nostril."

Snow burst into laughter at that. "That would explain why he never told me…and why you scared the hell out of him."

Lightning smiled despite herself. "Needless to say, I never drank again after that."

"Damn," Snow said, punching his other palm. "Ruins my grand scheme…"

"What, get me drunk and make me your fifth or sixth tally for the headboard?"

Snow looked at her quizzically. "No…to find out all the rest of your dirty little secrets," he said, grinning goofily. Lightning rolled her eyes and laid back against the gently sloping roof, resting her hands behind her head. Snow remained sitting, placing his weight on one arm, nearest Lightning. His eyes never left her. "The other girls were…a long time ago. A long time ago," he repeated. "You'd…never be 'just a tally' to me. I hope you know that."

Somehow, she did know. She just refused to verbally acknowledge it.

"You know," Snow said, shifting slightly so that he was nearer to Lightning, "I have to say that I'm pretty pissed at Gadot…" he trailed off but Lightning was intrigued.

"For not telling you?"

Snow shook his head. "No, not that…" He grinned rather bashfully. "I'm pissed that he beat me to the punch."

Lightning was at a loss. What do you _say _to something like that? She decided that silence was better than sounding stupid, so she turned her head slightly away from Snow and watched Cocoon for awhile longer, noting the awkward tension that was settling between them. She was thinking about this, considering the possible reasons why things suddenly got _weird, _when something blocked her view of Cocoon.

Or, rather, someone.

Snow hovered above her, inches from her face. His arms and knees were to either side of Lightning, supporting his weight without adding any pressure to Lightning's body. Without his bandana, which still lay against the far wall indoors, Snow's hair fell into his eyes and some strands tickled Lightning's nose, but she didn't dare move. She wasn't entirely sure what Snow's intentions were, but she knew her heart had suddenly begun to race within her chest.

"I could fix that, you know," he whispered, lowering himself down to rest on his forearms. He was now barely an inch above Lightning—she could feel his warm breath on her cheek. When she inhaled, her chest pressed against his. If she were to shift at all, her body could upset his balance and cause him to come crashing down…

"Fix what?" she said lightly, hardly daring to breathe. Her eyes met his, trying their best to hide the excitement within her. She wouldn't let him win this.

"I could make myself even with Gadot," Snow said lightly, his eyes taking in the sight of her eyes and lips. "It's not like I don't want to…hell, I've thought about it since we were on watch together in the cave. It's been on my mind for ages."

"Really now…" She still didn't know what to say, and she didn't trust herself to speak. She'd sound like a fool, some love-sick fool. She didn't want that.

"Yeah…" The distance between them closed until there was barely a hair's breadth separating them. Snow's lips met her jaw once, twice, leaving a burning trail to the sensitive skin near round ears. He hesitated there, his lips hovering over her earlobe, and his breath sent a shudder down her spine that she couldn't contain. The movement affected Snow somehow, as he suddenly had to bite his lip and raise himself up and away from Lightning about an inch. He closed his eyes and his lips were moving, but no audible words reached Lightning. He shook his head slightly, mouthed something, lowered himself, and pressed his lips yet again against Lightning's skin, this time on her neck. While one arm supported him fully, the other was traveling slowly up the opposite side of her body, memorizing the curves of her waist as it went. It traveled on up, across the side of her ribcage, over her shoulder, caressing her neck and cupping her cheek as he busied himself with her collarbone.

"Snow…"

Once again he had to pull himself away, this time shaking his head more violently. "I could make myself even, right now, with Gadot," Snow said quietly, eyes closed yet again. He removed his hand from Lightning's face and, now with both hands on the ground on either side of her, he pushed himself further away yet. "I could have made myself even with him a lot of times before, too, when you weren't…entirely _normal. _I could have had you. I could have. Hell, you don't even know how badly I wanted to. But it wasn't right. I couldn't do that to you. I would never do that to you."

He pressed himself up entirely, his elbows locked at his sides. He buried his head in his shoulder, rubbing his face against the sleeve of his shirt. Finally he opened brilliant blue eyes and gazed upon Lightning's shocked face affectionately.

"You confuse the hell out of me, Light," he said, his face soft. "I don't know what to think. Part of me is telling me that the timing is right, to go for it and hope for the best. The other half is saying that you're not ready for me yet, that you still aren't sure whether or not to pursue this. I have to say, I hate that half…but…I can't help but think it's the side with all the sense. You're _not_ ready for me yet. You're still trying to figure out how Serah will work into this."

"But…I will tell you this much: I'm determined to make this work, hell or high water. I'm just…waiting for you to get to that point, too." He lowered himself down again and kissed the corner of her lips, dallying there for a few seconds longer than he had anywhere else.

The urge within Lightning to tilt her head to the side, to have Snow's lips meet hers, flared to new heights. She was tired of waiting; tired of the delays. Tired of thinking and reasoning and feeling guilty. She wanted her happiness, her joy, without any negative feelings jumping to the fore. She wanted that so badly, and yet it seemed as if she was doomed to forever feel…guilty about everything. Something as simple as a kiss was becoming a battle between good and evil within her. All the arguments were the same as before. Nothing was new, and no side was going to be the clear victor.

She was so tired of waiting for one side to defeat the other, though. So tired…

Snow pulled himself away, rolling off to the side and sitting up, facing away from Lightning, who hadn't moved throughout Snow's entire display. He hung his head, cursing beneath his breath. After a moment he composed himself enough to speak.

"Let me know when you're ready to move on, Light," he said, holding his hand out for Lightning to take. She took it uncertainly, her breath still held within her lungs. What had was almost like a dream to her, and she could barely believe it had truly happened. Snow led her to the edge of the roof but stopped her from jumping, just for a moment. "When you're ready to move past Serah and see the bigger picture. I'll…" he turned slightly and brushed the hair from her face before urging her to jump down, which she promptly did. "I'll be waiting."

She took a few steps into the dwelling and moved to hold the door open for Snow, assuming he had followed. When she turned around, he was nowhere in sight.

* * *

She lay awake for a good portion of the night, her mind far from easy. She continued to replay the events on the roof over and over again in her head, wishing she would have had the courage to make a move, to return Snow's gestures…and yet, her conscious had forbidden her from doing so. Each kiss Snow laid upon her sent Serah flying to the forefront of her thoughts. At first her thoughts had been too jumbled to create a coherent train of thought, but now that she had settled in she had plenty of time to consider the events of the night.

Snow was ready to move on. He was done dwelling on Serah, done with the guilt. That was something Lightning still struggled with. How had he done it? How had he moved on? How could it have been so simple for him?

_He never loved Serah_. That explained a lot, sure, but it raised just as many questions as it had answered. He may not have loved Serah, but did Serah love him? Why had he pursued their relationship? Why had he proposed?

Lightning rolled onto her side and let her eyes fall on Snow's empty bed for the umpteenth time that night. Fang and Sazh had said Snow agreed to take watch that night, but when Lightning had walked outside to find him, to talk with him some more, she still couldn't find him. Where had he gone?

Another sigh escaped her. What would she have said even if she _had _found Snow? There really wasn't anything more to say. He knew her thoughts about their situation, for the most part. He was convinced he was in the right. Lightning was still unsure. There was nothing more to be said until Lightning made up her mind. Her mind, however, was refusing to be made. No matter which stance she tried to take, her mind would rebel against her and give her hundreds of reasons why she was wrong. She'd never be able to make up her mind this way. Not ever. Not alone.

"Fang?" Lightning stood and stretched her legs and arms out a bit before prodding the woman on the bunk above her. "Fang, wake up." If she couldn't make up her mind, then she'd get somebody else to make it for her.

"No," Fang groaned, curling the blanket up to her chin. "Five more minutes?"

"Wake up. I need to talk to you." Why the hell was she talking to Fang about this? She'd probably have better luck with Hope or something…

"It's in the middle of the damn night," Fang whined, peeking at Lightning through half-open eyes. "I don't want to talk to you."

Lightning growled and sent a small spark from her fingers into Fang's scalp. Fang woke with a yelp and frizzed hair. "You damn wench!" Fang croaked, her hand flying up to try and pat her hair down. "What was that for?"

"Next time, listen."

"When the hell do you ever want to talk to me? Go talk to Hope or something! Why wake me up?"

"Fang." Lightning turned her back to Fang, staring resolutely at the bed Hope and Vanille claimed. "Please."

Not at all happy with the situation, Fang clambered down from the top bunk and, still attempting to flatten her hair, she made her way to the far end of the room, near a desk where they had formed their circle earlier. "I'm only doing this because you said 'please'," Fang muttered, dragging the chair out and sitting in it. She crossed her legs and waited for Lightning to initiate the conversation. "I really would like some sleep tonight, though, if you don't mind," she added after a minute of silence.

Lightning considered her words carefully. She picked up the robot that had remained forgotten on the floor and dusted it off some, staring it at far more forcefully than she needed to. "If you went off on some vacation when you were engaged and came back to see that Vanille had stolen your fiancée…how would you react?"

Fang rolled her eyes and leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "This, again?" She groaned. "I thought you were done with this!"

"Shut up and answer the question."

"I can't really do both of those at once, now, can I?"

Lightning glared at Fang, who succumbed with a shrug. "Fine." Fang spun around in her chair and grabbed something off the desk, looking at it for a good stretch of time. "I'd be mad as hell," Fang admitted, still examining whatever she held in her hands. "Of course I would be. I would be confused and I'd feel pretty damn betrayed. Anybody would." She paused and held out her hand. "Here, I want you to look at this."

Lightning extended her hand and took the item Fang offered. She brought it before her eyes and was surprised to see it was a picture of Fang and Vanille together, right outside the very dwelling they now rested in. "You and Vanille," Lightning remarked, handing the photo back to Fang, who was nodding.

"Yeah. Me and Vanille." She glanced at the picture again. "Vanille and I were always close growing up, like sisters. I know that she'd never hurt me without a damn good reason. Yeah, I'd be angry as all get-out if that happened, but eventually I'd calm down. I think it'd be pretty stupid of me to lose my fiancée and my sister all in one blow because I wasn't mature enough to talk it out with Vanille."

"But you'd still be mad," Lightning said lightly, her heart sinking.

"You can't expect Serah to not be mad, Light." Fang rubbed her eyes and yawned. "That's being naïve. You've got to accept that it's inevitable that she's gonna be pissed. You can't do a damn thing about that. But in the end, you two will be okay. You're sisters. Family. Family sticks together, no matter what."

"Even if I steal my sister's fiancée?"

Fang sighed and banged her head against the chair. "You're so dumb…no wonder you and Snow get along," she muttered. She lifted her head and considered Lightning again. "We've already been through this. You know the reasons why that statement is stupid. You know why you're not willing to accept what's going on. You know it all. You know as well as I do that, in the end, you have no reason to _not_ go after Snow other than your own cowardice. So, what'll it be? You gonna take your happiness and let Snow have his, and let Serah find her own later…or are you gonna let everyone be miserable in the long run because you're too stupid to take a chance?"

Lightning paused and tapped her foot, contemplating. She knew Fang was right. She was making stupid excuses and repeating the same things to herself in order to refrain from feeling guilty; to refrain from having to make a hard decision. She couldn't keep passing the buck—eventually she'd have to go for it or withdraw completely. She couldn't hang in this limbo anymore.

She nodded, reaffirming the decision she had come to. She knew what had to be done. She wouldn't allow the indecision to paralyze her anymore.

"You're not half-bad when it's a one-on-one conversation," Lightning said, fiddling with the robot's arms before setting him down.

"You're not as hard-assed as you pretend to be," Fang yawned as she stood to push her chair in.

Lightning snorted and turned for the door. "Maybe," she said, pushing the door open and bracing herself against the cold breeze outside.

"Where are you going?"

Lightning paused, a small, glowing smile on her lips. "I think I'm ready."

Fang chuckled quietly and crawled back into her bunk. "Go get 'im, tiger."


	14. Greetings and Goodbyes

**Author's Note: Te-Gr not only critiques kindly and writes wonderfully, but she also draws beautifully! Check out my profile to see the links to some of her work that's based off of this tale!  
**Also, thank you to those-namely Sakura Moon and Te-Gr-that have checked to see if I'm still alive and kicking. I am, somehow! I apologize for the continual delay. I hope this hasn't put any of you off to the story, though it's understandable it if has.  
**I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please rate and review-I would love to hear from you!**

* * *

A sharp _snap _in the distance indicated a door shutting, and the sound carried easily through the crisp night air. It was undoubtedly Sazh again, as he had already woken from his uneasy slumber throughout the night several times to check on Snow's whereabouts. The older gentleman was, despite his earlier façade, not at all happy with their current location. In private he had told Snow that the environment summoned forth too many bad memories—too many thoughts that were better left forgotten. Sazh had crumbled beneath the weight of his burdens and his guilt, and his false countenance of ignorant happiness had crumbled away to reveal the broken father beneath.

Sazh had been near to tears then, a sight that was most unnatural for Snow to witness. Disturbing, really. The Sazh that Snow knew, who had been Snow's co-conspirator and confidant through thick and thin, had disintegrated and revealed a man far more fragile than Snow knew how to handle. This must have been obvious to Sazh, because as quickly as he had fallen apart he had pulled himself together again and reinstated the perverted old man that they had grown to love….or, in Lightning's case, barely tolerate.

But still…Snow had barely been able to help Sazh through his troubles. All he offered was a pair of ears to listen with, but he hadn't uttered any helpful advice, no sound bits of wisdom…nothing that Sazh typically offered Snow. Was Snow really that useless with such things? Was he only good at getting aroused and beating the shit out of monsters?

Snow sighed and rubbed his arms absently, trying to warm himself. He had left a large portion of his belongings inside, but he didn't want to retrieve them. He wasn't sure if Lightning was still awake, and he didn't particularly want to go see her; not when he wasn't even remotely close to knowing her thoughts on his sudden display of…of whatever the hell that had been. He knew it wasn't planned—one moment he was in one spot, and the next he was hovering a few inches above Lightning wondering how the hell he got there. He did some fast talking, which was something he was pretty good at, said he needed to wait until she was ready…and then left. Why did he leave? Why did he go so suddenly?

Why the hell was he making those kinds of moves on her?

He rubbed his neck again, thoroughly exasperated with himself. He had seen Lightning's despair at Sazh's words when they first entered the city. He had seen the doubts return yet again; once he saw her eyes flicker towards him and saw the wondering dismay that they contained. He knew she was doubting whether or not they should try _this _out, wondering how Serah would come into play.

After that, it was almost as if…as if he had to _prove_ himself, show to her that it wasn't a question of Serah anymore. It was about _them. _Had he tried to prove too much, too soon?

Snow grunted in a half-mocking chortle. Judging by the rigidness of her body every time he drew near to her, he probably had been. Yet, with that thought came a faint trace of hope: she never pulled away from him. Not once. Surely that meant _something? _Maybe that he was making some progress?

_She let Gadot get pretty damn close to her. Why not me?_

Gadot. His best friend. _Gadot. _The damn name sent a jealous rage coursing through him every time he thought it. Hearing what Gadot had done, from Lightning's lips…that was positively infuriating. Gadot, his lumbering idiot of a best friend that _knew _Snow had a thing for Lightning for quite some time…he went off and got her drunk at some bar and ended up doing what? Groping and grabbing Lightning on a beach, probably slobbering all over her and rubbing his—

_Enough. _He breathed deeply through his nose, calming himself slightly. It had been a long time ago, he thought. Or had it? Lightning had mentioned something about when it occured, but it totally escaped him now. It had to have been a few years. Hopefully.

_If it was only a couple months ago, I'll beat the bastard—_

_But wasn't I with Serah a couple months ago?_

Snow thought about it a moment, nodded resolutely, and decided that it didn't matter. If it really had been only a couple months ago, he swore he'd break Gadot's nose next time he saw the bastard. Or, better still, he'd make good on Lightning's word and shove Gadot's left testicle up his nostril. He deserved more than that for stealing Lightning's first kiss in some drunken display of machismo—

_But my first time having sex involved alcohol…_

He thought about it again, shook his head, and concluded that it was irrelevant.

A crack sounded somewhere off to his left, shaking Snow from whatever furious thought-process he had buried himself in. Was Sazh coming to check on him or something? Or maybe he needed someone to talk to again?

He began pacing, his soft footsteps barely rattling the metallic rooftop. If Sazh needed someone to talk to again, Snow wasn't so sure he would be able to assist him. He was bad enough when he was still somewhat awake—Sazh speaking to him about personal issues when Snow was starting to get drowsy could end badly.

His pacing became furious and far less quite as his mind spiraled out of control from there. How did he ever expect to be an emotional rock for Serah if he couldn't even form a coherent sentence of comfort when speaking to Sazh? Could he be that rock for Lighting?

He stopped. Did Lightning even need an emotional rock? Would a soldier that hardened _need _such a thing?

Fingers itched towards his bandana, to distract himself, only to find sweat-dampened locks in its stead. _Of course. _His bandana was still inside. He had thrown it in his anger and never picked it up. It was only a few feet from Lightning's bed, and she was probably fast asleep by now…

A bitter wind bit at his exposed digits. Gritting his teeth, Snow buried his hands in his pockets and took a seat on the edge of the rooftop, facing the dwelling that he had been diligently guarding, watching over it silently for any sign of trouble. There were no nasty beasties in sight, and if any dared to get near Lightning's resting spot, there'd be hell to pay.

Absolute hell.

His eyes roamed upwards, to the opposing roof-the roof of Fang and Vanille's old home. He wouldn't soon forget the events that had taken place there; where testosterone, lust, and growing attachment nearly got the best of him. He'd nearly gone over the edge, nearly got lost in a sea of want and desire. He had been phenomenally aroused then, perhaps by the sight of her lean legs and exposed midsection, or maybe the sound of her voice, or perhaps the way the wind whipped the hair across her face...

He wasn't entirely sure, and for all he knew it could have just been her mere presence. Whatever it had been had made him lose track of himself. He had been having an inward battle on whether or not he should make short work of what little clothing she wore, speaking nonsense about making himself even with Gadot. He had gone on some stupid speech, making himself seem so honorable after very nearly ripping her shirt off and doing what he had fantasized about for so long.

He was a liar; he felt dirty and rotten.

But even if his intentions and words had been less-than-honorable, their shared experience had been pretty damn amazing, and recalling the memory made him grin. Kissing her skin, tasting the saltiness of the sweat that had gathered throughout the course of the day, smelling the mixture of earth and sweetness that clung to her…it had been ecstasy. Serah's kisses—probably far more experienced than Lightning's would be-had nothing on the way that Lightning made him feel. Serah's lips meeting his was an action so simple, sweet, and so damn innocent that it barely lit a fire within his belly. Lightning hadn't even responded to Snow's actions, and yet Snow was forced to pull himself away, to distance himself from Lightning before he did something she may later regret.

_Serah_…

He knew now that he had just wanted to be Serah's hero, in a way. Yeah, he had used her to get to Lightning, but Snow had still wanted her to look up to him, to respect him, and maybe make him feel a little less guilty about what he was doing. He wanted to protect her; in fact, he felt obligated to do so. When Serah announced that she was a l'Cie, he felt as if he _had _to find a way to save her. Not that he wanted to, exactly. Just that he had to.

With Lightning he was free of that obligation. She protected him, and he protected her. In a fight, the responsibility was shared. Outside of the battlefield, when Lightning's walls crumbled and she let him in—she didn't expect him to be there, to heal her, and that's precisely why he wanted to. She didn't expect him to solve everything, and so he tried his damndest to do exactly that. The expectation wasn't there, and so he was able to freely love—

_Wait. 'Love'? Where the hell did that come from? No. It's too early for that. Way too early. I already made the mistake of telling that to one Farron girl. I'm not about to screw up with this one._ That was a mistake he didn't intend on making twice.

He shook his head, mumbling something to himself. Eyes glanced up, scanning the area around him, half expecting some big-ass dinosaur to have come sneaking in like a ninja while he had been devoted to his own thoughts.

_One day I'll take those things on…maybe that will shut Light up about the damn flower._

Snow snorted quietly. Lightning had yet to forget about the infamous 'flower incident'. Whenever Snow performed less-than-exemplary in a battle—or, hell, anything, really-she'd bring it up, always with that smartass smirk that he found irresistibly annoying, the one that always made him grin despite himself…

He buried his head in his hands, groaning in frustration. Everything always seemed to go back to her. He suspected that it always would. In a way, everything had been about Lightning since he first met her.

With a heavy sigh he reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a long-forgotten item: Serah's tear. He held it aloft, peering at the outline of Cocoon in the center of its depths and wondered at what the creator of the crystal shard could have been thinking, even as he replaced the crystal back to its hiding spot. Would she hate him? Would she hate Lightning? Disown her? Abandon her?

He frowned, set his jaw. Snow may have been new to the whole getting-to-know Lightning business, but, from what he did understand, Serah leaving Lightning would cause Light an unending amount of pain and guilt. She could never move forward.

A door creaked right below him. He leaned over the side of the building, his head peeking out over the edge of the roof, trying to find the source of the noise, though it was undoubtedly just the wind. The motion upset the necklaces hanging from his neck, and they all wound together, tinkling loudly in the otherwise still night. Upon spying nothing, he leaned back and made a move to unwind his necklaces when, upon the sight of the jewels hanging from his neck, he froze.

His engagement necklace.

He plucked at the chain around his neck, his frown deepening. How could he expect Lightning to move forward when he still couldn't remove a simple piece of jewelry? How _could _she when, every time she looked at him, she could be reminded of who they had to leave behind?

His hand reached for the jewel and tightened around its circumference, as if strangling it, and his mind began to race. He couldn't move into anything resembling a relationship with Lightning and cling to this relic of his past with Serah. Lightning deserved more than that. She shouldn't have to feel like she was betraying someone every time she gazed upon Snow.

_Maybe…yeah._ It was time. It was time to let go of the past, once and for all.

It was time to say good-bye.

He reached behind his neck and unclasped the necklace that came to resemble so much. Because of this necklace, he had been a part of the adventure of a lifetime. Because of this necklace, he had found the woman of his dreams, though it wasn't the one who held the matching jewel. Because of this necklace and the journey that started because of what it signified, he had become a hero. He had become a man. It was far more than an engagement necklace—it resembled the small steps he had taken in his brisk walk through life that had gotten him to this point.

But it also represented Serah, and so he couldn't cling to it without clinging to a woman that was not Lightning, however closely they may have resembled one another.

A grim line replaced the frown he had worn throughout the night. "I was wrong," he whispered. "I'm not the right man for you. You'll find a better hero to take care of you, I'm sure of it." Gingerly he wrapped the necklace around Serah's tear. "Don't blame Lightning. Don't be mad at her. This…is my fault. Not hers. Be mad at me."

Once again he aimed the heart of the crystal at the sky, at Cocoon. "Good-bye, Serah." He tucked the crystal and the necklace back into his pocket, promising to himself, and to Lightning, that it wouldn't be removed any time soon. "I'm sorry for—"

"Snow?"

Snow whirled around, both shocked and relieved to find Lightning striding towards him, curiosity etched into her features as she drew near. "Light?" She was one rooftop over, hovering on the edge of the building, preparing to leap to the roof Snow currently claimed. She was a good fifteen feet above him. "How did you get up there?"

"Beats the hell out of me," she shrugged once. "I saw you up there, took the door beneath you and ended up here." She snapped her fingers once and jumped down, the AMP technology cradling her fall. "What did you have in your hand?"

Snow smiled uncertainly before it blossomed into a grin. "Just some rock I was carrying." Long strides carried him over to her, and once again he felt his blood warm at her presence. "Why are you here?"

"Couldn't sleep. Why are you taking watch way out here?"

"Couldn't sit still." He tugged at the hem of his shirt, suddenly remembering why he hadn't seen her for so many hours. "So, ah…"

She took a few bold steps forward. "Why didn't you come inside? Sazh was worried…"

They were a yard apart.

"I wanted time to myself, I guess," he said, averting his gaze, becoming quite aware that she had still forgotten to replace her vest. His cheeks burned.

"You never came back. That's a lot of time that you needed to think. What was so important that you had to run without saying a word to anyone?"

Was this going to be one of her interrogations?

His arousal morphed into annoyance. "Stuff." He scratched his head, examined his surroundings. Did she _always _have to question him about _everything_?

"'Stuff'?" Lightning took a step forward, an angry glower in her eyes. "'Stuff'? I had to go through hell by myself in there—Fang kept offering 'pointers' about…about _positions _and Sazh wouldn't shut up about your damn eidolons—and you sat out here thinking about 'stuff'? That's not going to cut it, Villiers." She took a long stride forward, her finger poking his chest. The bridge between them had been crossed. "You owe me."

Snow pursed his lips in thought, debating on where to even begin. He had thought about a lot of 'stuff'…"Last night, in the tower. You messed with my head. I woke up and…and saw you first thing. It was…"

"Weird?" Lightning offered lightly, her expression carefully indifferent. Snow nodded uncertainly.

"Not a bad 'weird', just…different. And today I just wanted to...be close and—"

"I noticed."

"I'm talking now, I believe." Despite himself, Snow grinned. "As I was saying. I wanted to be near you, and you didn't pull away, either. But I can't help but wonder if you're ready to-"

"Can I speak for myself yet, or are you going to start one of your speeches again?" Lightning huffed, shifting her weight impatiently. "You talked enough on the roof over there. I didn't say a word. I was too...confused. Now, here we are, hours later, and you're _still _talking."

"Last I checked," Snow countered, "you were the queen of one-liners and awkward silences." He glanced down. "And death threats. You don't do conversations."

Lightning glared for about a minute. "I fail to see your point."

Snow's eyes shot up in time to see Lightning tuck away a self-satisfied smirk. "You do it on purpose!"

"Of course." Another half-step nearer caused a change in her demeanor. She became skittish, nervous, and her cheeks were tinged a bit more brightly than normal. She opened her mouth to speak, but a creaking door in the distance silenced the thought that was in her head.

"Just Sazh, probably," Snow said, wondering at the change between the confident Lightning and this new, coy woman before him.

"Oh." She paused. "Okay." Another silence stretched before them, long and thin, seemingly lasting forever. "What I was about to say is that…this will be hard to get used to, and it will be...odd, but…" she glanced back up at him, and Snow swore her eyes raked over his neck. "I'm ready."

He blinked, slowly. "For…what?" He had to admit, he wasn't entirely sure—

She released baited breath in a long stream of curses. "Damn it, Snow! You're the biggest idiot I've ever—"

"What did I do?"

Lightning stormed to the far end of the rooftop before returning, her swearing not alleviating any as she vented. Her eyes were bright; her mouth was still spewing obscenities about both Snow and Snow's mother; and, much to Snow's astonishment, he felt that tiny, angry fist grab a handful of his shirt. With a great tug, she yanked him down to her level.

Confusion melted into surprise as Lightning's lips clumsily met his jaw. "Damn it," she mumbled, her lips moving against his stubbly jaw line. Next she greeted his chin, the corner of his mouth, and then an explosion of sensations welcomed him when her plush lips met Snow's for the first time.

He tasted something wonderfully sweet, something distantly familiar, something—

_Wait, why is she pulling away?_

Confused eyes met Lightning's, who was watching him warily. She seemed embarrassed, but she would be loathe to admit it. Maybe she was humiliated that she had missed? He had found it rather cute…

Maybe she was afraid she was too sudden?

_I've been waiting for that for ages, though._

Maybe she thought…

_What the hell am I doing?_

He smiled slightly to himself, which caused Lightning's brows to furrow. "What?" she demanded, obviously unhappy. "If you have something to say—"

"I do." He waited a moment, still smiling softly. He cupped her chin, angling her head up slightly and bent down to meet her mouth for a second time. He hesitated slightly when he felt her warm breath tickle his lips. "Stop talking."

His lips pressed gently against her top lip, committing to memory the way that patch of velvety skin felt before he moved he dared move on. He didn't know how long this would last, but he wanted to ensure the memory of her, of _this, _would always be with him.

He moved on to her bottom lip, touching it once, briefly, with his own before enveloping it completely. A short, warm breath escaped Lightning; it may have been a sigh of contentment or surprise, but, either way, it urged Snow on.

It was amazing how that soft, dewy, lovely mouth could drive a man wild. How often had he dreamed of kissing Lightning? Fantasized about it? It had consumed hours of his life, possibly days if those hours were combined. Yet, all that fantasizing was in vain—no, this kiss wasn't exactly what he had planned, what he had dreamed of…

That sweet taste filled his mouth again, and this time he could place its origins: the succulent Oerban fruit that Snow had grown to love throughout this journey.

No, this wasn't what he had dreamed of. This was a vast improvement.

She was clumsy, unsure of what to do, but it was…beautiful, simply put. Snow's hands found Lightning's neck and it explored its contours as the other played with silken locks of hair. They kissed tenderly, exploring the other with great precision, using their hands as a mean of communication.

Snow showed no rush to grab and grope her—with great discipline he kept his hands in zones he knew he would be safe in. Eventually his hand would leave her hair and instead trace her spine, her shoulder, and the muscles in her upper arm; all the while he memorized every shape, every detail that he could. He dedicated the taste of the Oerban fruit mixed with sweaty saltiness to his memory, along with the feel of her skin beneath his fingertips and the way her breath came in short, shallow, quiet gasps.

Her hands, too, took their part in expressing themselves. At first she had been hesitant, unsure of what to really _do _with those extra limbs when she wasn't gripping his shirt with deathly strength. Eventually she, too, began her explorations and soon she found Snow's biceps, which she took no small amount of time to discover and learn about. From there her hands traveled down to his abdomen, treading dangerous ground. Perhaps she realized what she was doing because, mid-kiss, her hands shot up to Snow's chest and there they remained.

Snow had been with other women throughout his life, but none had the same effect that Lightning had on him. His body was reacting strongly to her, unimaginably so, and it took all that he had to retain control of himself. Every inch of him burned for her, craving her in a way he never knew possible. Though unexperienced, her fingers, strong and thin, left a trail of fire wherever they touched. The only way he could satisfy the burning hunger of his body was that which caused the fire to begin with.

He parted for a moment, pressing his jaw against her temple. "Lightning…" he mumbled, his hands totally preoccupied in the details of her body. Whatever thought was supposed to come after that was forgotten once he kissed her temple. That single kiss trailed back down to her mouth again, and this time the tenderness gave way to a passion that had long been contained on both parts.

They became lost in each other, in the moment. Their surroundings were forgotten as lips met yet again, sensuously and, this time, far less cautiously. What started out as something simple and romantic began to give way to emotions far more heated and carnal.

Snow's heart beat faster as Lightning's body crashed against his. One set of fingers were lost somewhere between her hair and her tailbone while the other set was gripping the hem of her shirt tightly. A voice within him cried out for him to cease, to stop, but he had wanted this for so damn long that it was hard to heed it.

Pounding lust and a tidal wave of other, lesser emotions hit him like a tidal wave. He wanted her, but he knew he shouldn't take her. He needed to be with her, to join with her, but he knew he couldn't. He craved her body, to feel her and explore her, but she couldn't, he wouldn't. Not yet.

But he wasn't so sure he could stop himself.

His eyes squeezed shut and he pressed his hands firmly into Lightning's skin. He soon found one at the small of Lightning's back, and the other had tucked itself inside Lightning's shirt, counting her ribs.

The kiss slowed again, back to its original pace, gentle and sweet once more. Snow nipped once at her bottom lip, earning a small smirk from Lightning and a grin for himself. He felt her smile and pressed his mouth against her upper lip once more. Their lips lingered, barely a hair's breadth apart, before Snow rose back to his full height, pulling Lightning in close to him.

She obviously wasn't used to such affection. Her body, as it always was in such moments, was as stiff as a board, but it eventually relaxed. When it did, Snow enveloped her in his embrace more fully this time, resting his chin upon the crown of her head.

"This…is nice," she said, her voice muffled by Snow's shirt. A grin couldn't help but flash across Snow's face at the words.

"It is." He tried to focus on the image of Lightning's eyes, the memories of how her body felt, or even how fantastic it was to finally be able to hold her like this without her constantly withdrawing. Instead his mind wandered to the growing problem between his legs and the realization of just how short Lightning's skirt actually was.

His vision was blurring slightly, and thoughts that he knew Lightning would kill him for entered his head. None were helping his situation, and all made his blood rush even faster to his groin.

_Please don't let her feel anything…She'd kill me. Pleaseohplease…_

Before he could even stop himself, he repeated, "It's nice. Not what I'd _like _to be doing with you right now…but still nice." Upon understanding what he had just admitted to, he froze and felt the fear flood him. Still, though, his arousal failed to disappear.

Lightning was quiet for some time before she separated from him a couple inches. "And what is it that you'd like to be doing?"

He managed his most charming smile. "I can go take a ride on the Shiva Sisters if you'd like—" A strong jab to his shoulder silenced the thought quickly. "Fine, fine…what I'd _love _to do is something that my grandmother, whoever she is, would frown upon. Sazh, however, would be both thrilled and jealous."

Lightning frowned. "We're adults. You can talk about sex without alluding to it."

A loud laugh escaped him. "Fine. Yes. Sex. It's on every man's mind. Don't blame me if I find you terribly…sexifying."

"That's not a word, Villiers."

"Well, it should be."

She was quiet again, and still she kept the distance between them. Perhaps she had caught on to his problem, after all? "I thought you'd try to go for it."

"You'd kill me if I did."

"Damn right."

Another grin. "You're more than a number to me, Light. I'm trying to show you that." He pulled her close yet again to hide a snicker. "Besides, I'd like to keep my left testicle out of my nostril, thanks."

They stood there for some time in a silence that was neither awkward nor strained. They merely enjoyed the company of one another and, for once, they felt no need to share any words. The moment spoke enough for both of them.

The wind blew around them, encircling them with the fine crystalline dust that glittered with the moonlight as it sped past. In the distance the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and lapping gently against the sides of the building lulled them both into a state of relaxation that they had not experienced since the start of their journey.

Snow's thoughts wandered to various places as they stood there, entwined in each others' arms. He wondered what would become of them, of their future. He tried to picture what their kids would look like, if they ever had any, and he hoped that they would have Lightning's eyes. He thought about the journey before them and how it would probably become more difficult. How they would have to decide how to conduct themselves in front of the others. What they had to eat for tomorrow. Where they would go tomorrow. If Lightning would even acknowledge him, or their kiss, by the time the sun rose…

"What do we do, Snow?" Lightning asked, turning her head so her ear was pressed against the left side of his chest.

He looked down and brushed her hair out of her face. "Take it one step at a time. Get out of this l'Cie mess. Go back home." His arms wrapped around her shoulders again. "I'll take you out to dinner, somewhere nice. Maybe that place by Lebreau's. You can wear some hot dress with a lot cleavage—" he felt the angry glare that she wore, even if he couldn't see it. "Or even a little cleavage…anything other than that damn turtleneck—Hey! What the hell?" He glanced down after he felt that tiny fist of fury strike his stomach.

"I'm serious, Snow," she said flatly, blinking up at him, her hair once again spilling into her eyes. She wasn't going to be eased with foolish words aimed to distract. He was insulting her by trying such a thing. That's not how he wanted it to go.

"One day at a time, Light," he said, smiling softly down at her. Her mouth was still a thin line. "Right now we have to be heroes. Later we can be…_us." _He paused thoughtfully_. "_We can be _us _in our downtime, too. Who knows…maybe one day, instead of being _us, _we can be Mister and Missus Villiers." He grinned wickedly. "Lightning Villiers. It has a nice ring..." She stiffened considerably at the comment, obviously not ready for such talk.

In fact, why was he even mentioning it?

"Or, instead of 'Lightning'…maybe I can call you by your real name, if you'll tell me?"

_Yeah, way to distract her!_

She grunted, still displeased. "Ask tomorrow."

The comfortable silence from before became strained, unpleasant. It was all his fault, too…

He turned his head, examined the opposite side of Oerba. "I'm thinking we should head for that bridge tomorrow," he stated, nodding towards the landmark of which he spoke. Lightning, too, turned to face it. "The other side of town is crawling with some nasty sons-of-bitches, though. We might be awhile in getting to the bridge…but I'm anxious to see the other side of it." They watched the monsters crawling near the beach, never traversing past the staircase that Hope and Lightning had cleared earlier. "Ever wonder why they never go past certain points unless they know you're there?"

Lightning, too, examined their foes by the beachside. "I always assumed they were just stupid." She chuckled quietly at her own idea of a joke before considering the mass amount of fiends to their side. "That'll take some time to get through, though…unless we have Hope blow them to Cocoon."

Snow scowled. "I'm sure we can handle it."

"You don't like Hope, do you?"

Snow grabbed her hands and held them tightly within his own, leveling his eyes with hers. "That's not true."

"Please. Every time I turn around, you two are glaring at each other…"

Snow was quiet for a moment before responding. "He's got it bad for you, Light."

Lightning chuckled. "I doubt it. He's just a kid that lost his mom. I'm the oldest here—well, I act more mature then Fang, anyway-and so, naturally, he gravitated to me."

Thinking the matter through, Snow decided it was best not to press the subject further. So long as Lightning maintained that belief, there was nothing to worry about. Besides, hadn't they just kissed? He was one up on the kid now…

"He's a good kid. You should try harder to get along with him."

"Got it, boss."

Lightning glanced down to her hands, still clasped tightly in Snow's. "I should…probably get back to bed," she muttered. As she did so, a look of annoyance spread over her, as if bed was a place she really didn't wish to be. Or maybe it was because Snow had reeled her back into another embrace?

"Goodnight, Light," Snow mumbled into her hair.

"'night."

They pulled away awkwardly; Lightning far too quickly. She turned on her heels and headed for the edge of the roof, then froze at the sound of boos emanating from where the dwelling was.

"What the hell are you doing?" Fang cried, and even in the dark of night Snow could see her waving her arms like a madman. "You didn't even give her a goodnight kiss! I didn't come out here to see shit like this!"

"I wanna see some action!" Sazh pumped his fist in the air. "Let's get it on!"

Snow heard Vanille squealing. "Come on, Lightning! Grab 'im like you did before!"

_At least Hope isn't out here…_

"Fang." Venom dripped from Lightning's voice as she spoke her name. "I hate her. I hate them. I hate all of them." She began searching her body. "Where's my damn gunblade? I'll shoot their heads off now and then I'll be rid of their idiotic—"

"Kiss him again!" Vanille was nearly beside herself with excitement.

"Don't disappoint me now! This is more action then I've had in years!"

Snow had to choke down his laughter at that one.

"Shut UP!" The last one was from Hope, inside the building still. Loud clanging could be heard, and Snow assumed Hope was throwing things at the ceiling.

Lightning fumed from the rooftop she and Snow shared. "They have ten seconds to run before I kill them."

Snow walked over to Lightning, one arm draped lazily over her shoulder. He raised a hand in the air, offering a single-fingered greeting to the three in the distance. As he did so, he leaned over and kissed Lightning's temple briefly.

"That was shit!" Fang stomped her foot. "You can do better than that—I _saw _you! I know you can!"

Snow grinned crookedly. "Make 'em bleed."

Lightning snorted derisively. "As if I'd aim for anything less." She curled her hands into fists at her side, pausing briefly to consider Snow thoughtfully. "I'll…see you tomorrow, Snow. And…thanks."

She gave him an odd smile that turned into a snarl as she jumped off the roof and raced towards the opposing building, bloodlust consuming her. She sprinted towards Sazh at full speed.

"Shitshitshit! Run! We gon' die!"

Snow couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled from within him. Lightning may be a soldier that didn't take shit from anyone, but she was, somehow, his…just as he was hers, wholly. He had given up a lot for Lightning, and Lightning was, potentially, giving up much more for him. They were an odd pair, but somehow they'd find a way to make it work.

Tomorrow they'd go to the bridge and press on to the lands beyond until the sun set…but once the moon rose and the velvet night sky replaced the bright blue of the day's, well…that's when he could have her again, all to himself. He could hold her without interruption, and maybe he could start peeling back the layers and discover parts of Lightning's personality that few, if anyone, had yet to discover.

Once more the wind blew and chilled him, but even as it did he couldn't help but think: his past was behind him. He had only the future, perhaps _their _future, to look forward to. No matter what happened between them, or how Serah would react to the news, one thing was certain: he was a hell of a lot warmer whenever Lightning was around.

He grinned as Sazh began to scream in the background. _Yeah, everything's gonna be okay._


	15. Deeper Understandings

The bright light of the early Oerban sun shone in through the slits of the doorway, falling directly onto Lightning's eyes. She mumbled and cursed vehemently at the glowing pink light, damning its existence and wishing it could refrain from ever rising but, despite her protests, it continued to climb ever higher. As if that wasn't enough, in response to her protests it blinded her even further. Angered beyond reason by this point, she bolted upright into a sitting position and glowered angrily at the doorway, a slight pout prevalent on shapely lips.

She had slept like hell last night. Once she had dealt the appropriate amount of damage to Sazh and Fang (Vanille had escaped before Lightning could find her), Lightning had crawled back into bed and collapsed. Despite the exhaustion her body seemed to feel, her mind was far from succumbing to sleep. It continued to mull over the events of the day and night until mere hours before sunrise, which was when she finally dozed off into a fitful slumber. Now the sun was rising and she was waking well before she was ready…

_I've lived with worse. Deal with it. _

With a groan she began the process of waking, rubbing relentlessly at her eyes in a valiant effort to rid herself of the sleep that still called to her. Her efforts would prove to be of little help, but she made herself believe it made a small semblance of a difference. Her fingers interlaced and stretched high above her head, behind her back, and in front of her chest before she stood and began another stretching routine that took several minutes to complete, all to get her blood flowing and to make her feel like moving beyond the dwelling's door.

As she pulled her knee in towards her chest, she glanced around the room and noted that everyone was still asleep, save for Snow, who had agreed to stay on guard throughout the night. Lightning toyed with the idea of walking around aimlessly, trying to find Snow so that they could talk or…or _something, _but quickly shook it from her mind. She wasn't a hormone-driven teenage girl that would intentional stalk the man of her desires, nor would she pine for Snow. That wasn't her style, at all, and she wasn't about to stoop to such levels just to satisfy her pathetic inner lusts.

In fact, she wouldn't even allow him to grace her thoughts this morning. She'd purposefully keep him out of her mind.

But weren't they a couple or something? What was the point of refusing to think about him this morning? It was rather stupid.

_It'd make me feel better about this, though._

She didn't want to be the one to always chase him down, like she had been last night. Lightning was the one that had to find him. She was the one that initiated their first kiss. Then she had left and Snow hadn't even tried to stop her. No, she wasn't going to always be the chaser. She wanted to be chased, too.

Lightning snapped on her vest, pulled on her boots, and secured her satchel around her thigh before grabbing her gunblade and walking out into the surprisingly warm morning air. She stopped and bathed in the warmth of the morning, breathing deeply of the scent of dewy flowers; although there were no flowers, to her knowledge, anywhere near the proximity of Oerba that she had seen.

She walked down the abandoned streets, her weapon donning the guise of a gun as she sought out a prime location to exercise. The village was tiny compared to the natural features they had seen and traveled through on Gran Pulse and especially small when compared to a city like Bodhum. There was barely any room to wander aimlessly and even less space to extend her blade and go through her daily practice maneuvers. How in the world could a populace live here? There couldn't have been many people in such a limited space, that much was certain…

Lightning turned a sharp corner around a building she and Hope had cleared the previous night and walked down a narrow path that had short, metal fences on either side of her. A few yards down the path opened into a large clearing with construction materials dispersed on the outside edge and she noticed the concrete and building supplies all had a thick layer of moss growing over them. How long had this place been abandoned?

So many questions that couldn't be answered.

A single flick of her wrist extended her gunblade to its fullest extent. She eyed her Blaze Edge with a great sense of satisfaction: though she had found weapons with superior edges or firing power, she could never will herself to dismantle one of her most prized possessions to gain some much-needed materials for Sazh to utilize. This blade meant far too much to her.

At the same time she was no fool. She would always use the superior blades in battle, and she would always note the ways in which she could improve the Blaze Edge. But always, _always_, she used this blade for anything and everything outside of the battling grounds.

She stretched her blade arm out before her; the sword became an extension of her hand. A deep breath was taken again and she closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the air envelop her, embracing her. Her nose twitched at the delightfully fresh scent in the air and her ears pricked at the deafening silence throughout the village. She wondered if, were she to try hard enough, she could hear Snow stomping around in the distance…

_No._

She jerked her muscled arm quickly downward, sending the edge of her blade flying to the ground before another jerk willed the sword to a stop right before contact with the cement beneath her feet.

_I'm not going to think about him._

Her elbow bent slightly, drawing the weapon around the outside of her ankle. Once the tip passed her heel in its circular path, she twisted her arm violently and pulled upwards, sending the blade soaring behind her back. Without blinking, or even looking, her opposing hand reached high above her head and grabbed the hilt without a second's delay, then brought it back to a rest at her side before repeating the motion in the opposite direction.

_Think about Cocoon.  
_  
She did as she commanded of herself, even as she began twirling her blade in a tight circle in front of her using her left hand. The circles became tighter and more precise as the seconds passed, stretching her muscles and making them burn despite the early hour.

Thoughts of Lebreau passed through her mind as she wondered how her business was doing. She wondered how the Commander was taking news of Sergeant Farron's supposed betrayal of Cocoon. Would they believe that she was really trying to save them? She shook her head at the thought, slicing the sword through the air in a wide arc. Why should they believe that? The media on Cocoon wasn't about to show the planet's populace that the leaders of Cocoon were actually manipulative beasts, after all.

She dropped to one leg while the other lengthened before her, pulling her hamstring taut. The sword exercises continued with periodic jabs and thrusts while she pulsated rhythmically up and down on the ball of her foot. _Cocoon. _Why was it worth saving? What purpose did anybody have on that planet? They went to work every day, performed their menial tasks, went home, ate dinner, slept, and then repeated the process…and to what end? Just so the fal'Cie could be amused by their little pets?

On Cocoon, they had fought to get away. They didn't understand what was going on. They didn't want truth or justice or anything…just to get away from those pursing them. Here, though, they fought hard to survive, and in so doing it had brought them all closer together. There was a sense of community, of camaraderie, that hadn't existed on Cocoon. Here, they lived to protect themselves and others.

She had to admit, she did prefer Gran Pulse over Cocoon. If it weren't for their mission, for their ever-ticking brands, Lightning wouldn't have minded staying here permanently. Maybe once it was all over with, she could return to this world and live happily here, hunting and surviving. Maybe the others would join her. Perhaps even Snow…

_No._

The satisfying burn of her biceps greeted her, and she readied herself for the next set of exercises. Snow was far from her mind now—she focused only on perfection, on landing every hit, on guiding the blade precisely where it needed to go. Practiced muscles knew the drill and needed little direction on how to execute the maneuvers.

In her mind's eye she could see a flurry of attacks from a long pole arm—Fang's—that were aimed directly at Lightning's chest. She could see, as she had seen so many times before, the ripple of Fang's muscles as she thrust forward, her brows knit together in concentration even as she released a roar that sent shockwaves through anyone surrounding her. Knowing that a direct hit from that weapon would prove exceptionally fatal, Lightning ducked back until her behind was nearly level with her knees and, after projecting the trajectory of Fang's chosen weapon, Lightning believed she had only narrowly missed the initial attack. She jerked her abdomen inward, her legs automatically pulling up and over as she placed a guiding hand on the ground. A neat landing followed the flip, where she flashed her blade in the sunlight, a move that would only momentarily blind the attacker, but one that gave Lightning enough time to sidestep to her right and bring an elbow into her opponent's neck. This diversion, too, would give her ample time to—

"Nice work there, Soldier Girl."

Lightning, still unconsciously piloting herself through the exercises, spun sharply, sending her cape flying in a picturesque halo above her. As she spun, she brought her leg up, pulled out Serah's dagger from her boot, and held the gift blade at Sazh's throat.

"Easy! You already gave me bad enough nightmares last night!"

"You deserve worse," she huffed, angling the blade a little closer to his skin. _Who the hell interrupts someone when they're practicing with a sword?_

"I don't disagree with you there," Sazh grinned, unphased by the instrument of death at his jugular. He carefully scanned the area surrounding them before asking if he could join Lightning which, of course, she refused to allow. "Come on! You might like my company!" At Lightning's deadpan stare, he swore. "Give me a chance!"

"Why?" she asked, withdrawing the dagger. She sheathed it and placed it back into its hiding spot before arching a sculpted brow at Sazh.

Sazh seemed confused. "'Why' what?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously, already tiring of the conversation. "Why do you want to be here? With me? Can't you find Snow?"

A stupefied blink was followed by another before Sazh scrutinized Lightning carefully. Shifting uncomfortably under his stare, Lightning began to tap her foot against the hard ground impatiently, but she never lowered her burning gaze from his. Finally Sazh sighed and his shoulders slumped. "If you can believe it, I really was just hopin' you and me could talk." The baby chocobo popped out of Sazh's afro, offering a sleepy chirp before flying down to Sazh's shoulder and nestling into his neck.

Lightning recalled Snow mentioning that Sazh being a bit down and out the other night…could his sudden interest in speaking to her be related to that? She crossed her arms over her chest and figured it was worth a shot. Blue orbs peered at the man that had been with Lightning since the violence began. "Dajh?" she said lightly, her face a trained, expressionless mask. Sazh's head jerked up at his son's name.

His jaw set; the corners of his mouth fell. "That obvious?" he said, offering a weak grin before backing away and sitting on the fence in the narrow corridor a few feet behind him.

She didn't want to tell him that it had been an educated guess. Instead, she shrugged casually while fretting inwardly. Why was he talking to her about it? Why not Snow or Fang? She wasn't good with this…communication concept. She wouldn't be able to help. He was just going to waste his breath on her.

"This place…" Sazh said quietly, his fingers outstretched to allow the crystal particles to dance between his fingers, "…creepy as hell."

Lightning snorted. She had thought the same when they had first arrived. Now, though, it didn't seem so bad...

"What do you think happened here?"

He was buying time. Composing himself. _Barthandelus' balls…if he gets emotional on me… _"Dunno," she shrugged, striding forward until she was directly opposite of Sazh. She kneeled and took a seat. "Maybe it has something to do with Ragnarok." She paused. "Fang." Another glance was cast around the area surrounding them and Lightning's eyes grew dark. "Maybe it has to do with the fal'Cie and all the Cie'th. I don't really know."

Sazh's face soured. "Cie'th. Fal'Cie. L'Cie. Ragnarok. Barthandelus. Purges. The Sanctum." He buried his hands in his hair, upsetting the chocobo chick, who flew over to rest on the finger Lightning outstretched as a perch. "It's just too much. Why us? Of all the people on the whole damn planet…why us?"

Lightning tutted impatiently. As terrible as she was with carrying on conversations, or with people in general, she still had to admit that she was pretty damn exceptional at finding the soul intent behind any conversation- the undercurrents. "This isn't about us, Sazh. Never was. We chose this path; the fighting and violence, to save the ones we love. Isn't that what you said yesterday, to some degree?" Her eyes met Sazh's again, passing a deeper meaning between their gazes. "You don't want to know 'why us'. You want to know 'why Dajh'. Why you lost him."

"He's just a kid. He was used, like a…a…"

"Tool," Lightning finished, the image of Jihl coming to mind.

"Just a boy," Sazh mumbled, his eyes moistening. Lightning saw the familiar image of a broken soul in Sazh's eyes then, and she immediately turned to look upon the chocobo instead, scratching the underside of its chin with great interest.

She wanted to scream; to slap Sazh; to demand the return of the old, annoying pervert that she had grown accustomed to. This Sazh hurt too much. This Sazh struck too close to home. He reminded her of all the times she saw those same hollow, empty orbs whenever she looked into her own reflection.

She knew why Sazh came to her; why he had sought her out specifically. They two knew a pain that exceeded the pain of mere loss or hurt. They knew what it was like to feel helpless – to lose the one you cared most about and not even know if you'd truly ever find them again. Both of their worlds had been turned upside down.

They understood each other.

Lightning didn't know how to do it, but she had to find a way to help Sazh-to help herself. "We'll find them," she offered solemnly, but was surprised when Sazh angrily shook his head.

"Don't give me that shit, Lightning. We don't know a damn thing about crystals and l'Cie's, and all the other shit this concerns. We don't know a damn thing. For you to say they'll come back, sounding so sure of yourself –you're clinging to false hope. Not the truth. Not the cold, hard facts. That's not you." His mouth tightened. "I thought you was all about them hard facts?"

Lightning opened her mouth to protest, to say that it couldn't be false hope if it they didn't know exactly how it worked, but an angry hand held in the air silenced her. "Don't even say it. False hope ain't better than no hope at all. In the end, it just hurts a hell of a lot worse."

It took several moments for her to quell her anger. After all, she wasn't used to people telling her off in such a manner. Normally she would have responded with harsh words or, more likely, a harsher hand; but, as she sat there and contemplated the matter, she realized that a raised hand wasn't the answer. Not here, anyway.

Was she going soft?

"What do you want me to say, Sazh?" She asked quietly. Sazh looked towards her, not entirely meeting her eyes before standing and turning , bracing himself against the low fence. He breathed deeply, and she saw his back rise and fall several more times before he spoke.

"I want to know what you really think. Don't give me that peppy bullshit that everyone's using to keep themselves going. I want to know your thoughts."

"Why?"

"Because. You know what it's like." His head turned and he rested his chin against his shoulder. "They don't."

"Snow does, too," Lightning said stiffly. A cold laugh met her ears.

"No. He doesn't. He didn't love Serah, especially not like you did. She was your family; your _only _family. Your world." He sighed and murmured Dajh's name to himself, wiping hopelessly at his eyes. "I'm tired of pretending it's okay, Lightning. Tired of all the jokes and false hope. I feel…so old now. I never felt this old." He shook his head, wiped again at his eyes. "I just want to know what you really think, Lightning. Nothin' more, nothin' less."

She bit her tongue. What could she say? She honestly didn't know the answer herself as to what she thought would really happen to Dajh and Serah. All she knew was that this man was obviously distressed, so maybe she could comfort him with—

_No. No lies. We've come too far, been through too much, to lie to each other._

The hilt of her gunblade was being absently examined by the thumb of her free hand, and the familiar contours of the metal somehow soothed her scrambled mind and allowed Lightning to compose herself. If she wasn't going to speak any lies, then the truth was, obviously, the only option. "I don't know, Sazh," she whispered, her eyes flickering down to the fluffy chocobo on her finger, who was now grooming its wing. "I don't know if Serah will ever come back. I don't even know if she _should _come back." Sazh seemed taken aback enough to turn and face her entirely. "Think about it. We're Pulse l'Cie. Branded by the enemy. Who would want to return to a world that hates and despises them? Where their family betrays them?" She shook her head angrily, though whether she was angry with herself or their circumstances was another matter entirely. "I don't know how well Coocoon's going to receive us, once this is over. Somehow, I don't think we'll be heroes. Is it selfish of us to want to bring Serah and Dajh back into the world that tried to Purge us? To bring them back just so we can be with them again?" Her hand gripped the railing of the fence. "I don't know, Sazh. I just…I don't."

Shadows claimed Sazh's face as he stood, impassive. "So why fight?"

"I'm not about to give up." She took a step forward, placing a fist against Sazh's shoulder and pushed him gently. "You're not going to, either. There's more to this than just Serah and Dajh now." She glanced over her shoulder, towards Cocoon. Sazh turned, his gaze following the path Lightning's laid before. "We've got a whole world depending on us now…and a new family to watch over."

Both were silent as they considered Cocoon, and all the possible scenarios their return could bring, for many minutes. They were standing close, she noted, and at any other point she would have been annoyed and stepped away. Now, though, she was happy for the company of a man that understood her on a level that none of the others could even begin to fathom.

She also felt a twinge of guilt as she recalled all the times she hated Sazh and wished him dead…all the times where he had masked his fear for Dajh with a misplaced joke. He had done so much for them as a whole – from upgrading weaponry to sewing patches on their clothes to flying planes. Snow, even, had been able to conquer his fears and seek out Lightning's affection because of Sazh…and yet, she had treated the older man rather harshly in their time together…

"Sorry about last night," Lightning mumbled, avoiding his gaze as it fell on her.

"My ass will heal," he shrugged, but then his eyes crinkled as a smile replaced the earlier frown. "You know, you ain't half bad."

She rolled her eyes and started to walk away, the chocobo chick flying from her finger, but Sazh called her name once and she stopped. Turning back, she found him walking towards her, his open palm held out parallel to his shoulder with his elbow bent. Lightning recognized the gesture from her earlier days in the GC.

Without thinking, her hand clapped inside his palm and they pressed their elbows against each other, one soldier recognizing another.

"When this is done, don't forget about this family, Lightning."

The corner of her mouth rolled into a smirk. "Fang and Hope would never let me," she chuckled.

"And you and Snow better invite me over…or offer free babysitting for when I go on a hot date."

"I don't do drool and shitty diapers."

Sazh raised his eyebrows, truly baffled. "Then why the hell are you with Snow?"

* * *

Their trek through Oerba was, as Snow had promised the night before, long and arduous.

The six of them had stood at the top of the ramp that morning and peered down towards the monsters at the beach side, all complaining heavily about how many hours that it was going to take them to clear through the mass of monsters below. Snow joined the chorus for a portion of the complaints, then shook his head and said they might as well get started right away. He cracked his knuckles and rolled his head from side to side before jogging down to the beach, where the first beast lay in waiting. With a grunt he leaped easily from the lumbering monster's grasp and rammed a fist into the Vampire's skull.

Lightning jumped down from where she stood and pulled out her gunblade, firing off a round for good measure. Hope hurled a fireball at the Vampire before running down to join Lightning's side. The other three agreed to start on the fiend further ahead, as all were well versed with how to handle the beings in the area surrounding them.

But that didn't make it any easier.

After the first few hours, the six of them were splattered in blood that wasn't entirely the fiends'. Snow was sporting a few bite marks on his collarbone; Hope had a nasty gash on his arm that, thanks to his spells, had already scabbed over; Vanille had donned a nasty purple bruise on her forehead for quite some time before Hope finally mentioned it to her; one pair of Sazh's pants had been shredded beyond repair; and Lightning had more than her fair share of shallow lacerations along her legs that she refused to have healed.

"A reminder of what not to do next time," she had growled when Hope approached her with glowing hands. After taking that hint, and a few others, Hope had skulked away.

Now they were about halfway through the town, next to yet another rusty old building that no soul lived in. They were all pretty exhausted and wanting a short reprieve before moving on. Even Vanille was dragging her feet towards the door of the building, her head hanging.

Lightning put her shoulder against the door and pushed against it, but the years of rust refused to allow it to move inward. She bit her lip in frustration, dug her heels in, and attempted yet again but received the same result. Hope suggested trying the next building, but Lightning would have none of it: the damn door was going to open for her, no matter how long it took. She stepped back and prepared to ram herself into it when Snow sidestepped into her path, grabbed the handle, and shoved his shoulder into the door with all his weight behind it. Needless to say, it opened without a hitch.

Lightning stepped in behind Snow, throwing her eyes all around the cold metal room, searching for some sign of yet another fight. All that met her eyes, though, were maps of areas long since forgotten, a globe of Pulse and a smaller one of Cocoon, posters, a chocobo figurine, and a list of, presumably, the fal'Cie of Pulse.

"Huh. I guess Fang wasn't lying about going to school…" Snow flashed a roguish grin at Lightning as he slowly wandered around the room.

"O, ye of little faith…" Fang elbowed her way past Vanille and Hope towards Lightning and stood with her hands on hips, viewing the room with a distant smile on her face. "Makes me feel old, standing here again…"

"Well, you are older than shi—"

"Shut it, Farron," Fang growled.

Lightning smiled at the annoyance blossoming over Fang's features, quite pleased that she had finally found the proverbial button to press. She committed this to memory as she stepped to the side, the other two already piling into the doorway behind her. Vanille squealed once inside and ran to the seat in the front left, throwing herself into the chair and humming happily.

Hope stepped forward tentatively, looking around slowly, closely examining the charts and diagrams plastered on the walls of the schoolhouse. He picked up the chocobo model and turned it upside down, blushing slightly as he righted it again. Curious, Snow joined him, taking the model from Hope into his own hands and repeating the process. Instead of blushing, Snow blinked a few times, smirked, and held up the undercarriage of a very male chocobo for Lightning to see.

"They, uh…really take an in-depth look at Chocobos," Snow said, his hair doing little to hide the mischievous glint in his eye.

Lightning, too, went over and grabbed the chocobo, eyeing it with a bemused expression. "He's well endowed. Don't feel too jealous," she said, patting Snow roughly on the cheek.

In a flash he grabbed Lgihtning's wrist and, with that same devilish grin, he leaned in and whispered, "Don't judge me yet…"

Cheeks hot with embarrassment, Lightning yanked her hand away and stalked to the far corner of the room, whipping around to glare at Snow, who was trying desperately to stifle a laugh.

_How can he joke about that? We just kissed! The bastard!_

Her glower didn't relent until Snow held his hands up in defeat and turned back to talk to Hope, who was examining some giant chart on the wall. She saw Snow's face fall quickly into a frown as he observed the large poster. Lightning debated on seeing the chart for herself, but decided against doing so. Enough depressing things haunted her this day without adding to the mix.

_Speaking of which…_

Not a peep had been heard yet from Sazh, and after a moment of searching, she understood why.

He was nowhere to be seen.

Another evaluation of the room affirmed her suspicions that he was indeed absent from the mix – Hope and Snow still hovered by the chart, Fang was toying with the chocobo with a cheeky grin plastered on her face, and Vanille had reclined back in her chair, yawning widely. The latter caught Lightning's worried eyes and mouthed '_what's wrong?_'

Lightning gestured around her head, forming an invisible afro – the universal sign for their technician. Vanille searched for him as well and, upon finding nothing, she shot up from her chair, eyes wide. Once again, Lightning gestured in the air, patting it, motioning for Vanille to relax, which, of course, she didn't do. _This isn't a situation for everyone to get all riled up over, _she thought irritably. Instead of speaking aloud and causing everyone else to be alerted, she briskly walked to Vanille's side and whispered that she'd handle it.

"Sazh's been acting weird all day…"

"I know," Lightning said shortly. _Sazh is missing. This isn't the time for a conversation. _'Wait here. I'll be back."

"Let me—"

Lightning shook her head sharply, silencing Vanille. Without another word Lightning turned and slid around the outside edges of the room, her quiet footsteps barely making any noise. She tried the door on the far end and, upon finding that it was still creak-free, she easily slipped out of the classroom.

Once outside she barely had to look for Sazh—he was about ten yards in front of her, perched on a small piece of rubble and scratching the chocobo's chin as he had earlier in the morning.

"Why aren't you inside?" Lightning was angry, she had to admit. Who just slips away in a fiend-infested, abandoned town without telling anyone? _Only stupid morons, that's who._

"I prefer fresh air," Sazh flashed a grin towards Lightning. "It was too cramped in there. Guys get a little ripe smellin' in close quarters."

Hip cocked to the side and her arms folded across her chest, Lightning frowned and said, "Don't pull that with me."

The chocobo continued to receive Sazh's affection, even as he looked up curiously at Lightning. "Nothin' gets past you, huh? I guess that's why you're a sergeant…"

"No small talk," she interrupted, her hand slashing violently through the air to cut him off. "Why aren't you inside?"

"I already told you why," he said slowly, carefully keeping his anger in check. Chocolate eyes flashed dangerously towards her before snapping back to the bird in his hands.

Sighing heavily, Lightning leaned back against the far wall to Sazh's side, noting the pink tousle of hair that popped out from behind the classroom door. "You're a pathetic liar."

"I'd think that was a good thing," he grumbled: his eyes, too, were locked on the young Oerban now bobbing towards them. "What's she doing out here?"

"She's worried, I'd imagine."

As if in response to Lightning's guess, Vanille's slow steps broke into a quick trot that ended when she wrapped her arms tightly around Sazh's shoulders in a bear of a hug.

"Don't be afraid," she cooed quietly, her embrace tightening. Pink curls were lost in a sea of ebony, and Vanille's eyes were brimmed with tears.

"What?" Sazh was wriggling his hands out from where Vanille had them pinned so that he could release his pet. Vanille separated from Sazh but still held his shoulders at an arm's length, her gaze turning on him affectionately.

"You're afraid, aren't you?" Her head cocked to the side, curls bouncing. "Of your memories?"

Silence followed before Sazh, unblinkingly, began to speak. "How did—"

That small, knowing smile appeared again on Vanille's lips: the same one that had appeared so often before when all others seemed to be lost in their confusion. It was as if she was aware of something; as if she knew something that no others had yet comprehended. "I can tell," she said simply, her eyes bright, and Lightning held back a shudder—Vanille always had been overly perceptive with things, be it the situation of the group or the conflicting struggles within a person's mind. "But you shouldn't be afraid. You're memories are good memories. They remind you of why you're fighting." She paused and bit her lip, her stance fidgety. "Come inside with us, just to take a look before we leave. Okay?"

"I can't, Vanille," Sazh sighed, his voice hollow. "It…hurts. Dajh, he…he may not come back. I just—" he broke off, closing his eyes tightly while the chocobo chick fluttered near Sazh's cheek, obviously concerned.

_What happened to our Sazh?_

Lightning's eyes spotted Snow's lumbering form approaching them, looking from Lightning to Sazh, concern etched across his features. His silent entrance allowed him to remain unnoticed by the others.

"It hurts us, too, Sazh," Vanille reprimanded softly. "The memories of what Oerba was like. The memories of our family. We…we lost ours, too, you know? There's no chance we can get them back. We don't have that hope, not like you do for Dajh." She became quiet, her eyes downcast. "We don't even know what happened to our home…"

Her sad smile turned into a genuine grin, a transformation that only she was able to pull off, and the brightness returned to her voice. "And while the memories might make us hurt, we'd rather remember than forget. We don't want to hide from our pain and lose what we have left of our family." Tiny hands firmly clasped over much larger ones. "You shouldn't let your pain make you forget, or miss out."

Snow arrived at Lightning's side and nodded once, solemnly, at her before addressing Sazh, who jumped when Snow spoke. "Yeah," Snow said, "and didn't Dajh wish for you to be happy?" Sazh turned and blinked at Snow, his expression unreadable. Silent understanding passed between the two for a moment before Snow continued. "It's time you kept your promise, don't you think?"

Vanille only grinned more widely up at Snow as she withdrew her arms from Sazh's shoulders and held out a small palm for Sazh to take. "What's it going to be?"

Sazh was quiet as he studied his hands, folding them and pulling nervously at his fingers. "You're right," he admitted quietly. "You're right. It's time to stop feelin' sorry for myself." He stood, brushed his hands off on his pants without making eye contact. "Thanks", he mumbled, taking Vanille's hand and patting it once, twice before letting it go. She just laughed and bounded away happily towards the classroom door, where Hope and Fang now waited expectantly.

Turning to Lightning and Snow, Sazh rubbed the back of his neck, shrugged, and offered a man-hug to Snow, who grunted and embraced Sazh more fully, knocking the breath from the older man. He staggered slightly when Snow released him and patted Sazh on the back before walking away.

"They're a piece of work," Lightning said, scrambling to find something to say. It had been an awkward few minutes, but she had somehow stuck it out.

"I could say the same for you." Upon receiving a quizzical stare, Sazh continued with, "I mean, when I first met you on the Purge train, I thought you was some crazy woman with a knack for violence." He paused thoughtfully. "Can't say my opinion's changed much, but now, at least, I know you ain't so hard assed as you pretend to be."

With an exaggerated sigh and roll of her eyes, Lightning replied, "Don't tell Fang." She turned, making ready to return to the schoolhouse. She motioned for Sazh to follow and, after a moment's delay, he did.

"But I tell Fang everything. She rewards me well."

"Don't. Just don't. If you do, I'll—"

"Don't ruin the nice, fuzzy image I have of you right now!" Sazh said. "Let me revel in your kindness for a minute before you start sendin' death threats this way." A wicked grin spread. "While we're bein' friendly, how was your_ alone time _with—"

Lightning growled, grabbed Sazh's shoulder, and thrusted him towards the door of the schoolhouse.

"I ain't allowed to finish that question, am I?"

She hid her smirk as she jostled Sazh forward once more without another word.

Upon reaching the door, where the rest of the gang now gathered and offered their silent support, Sazh hesitated yet again, but this time the hesitation was far briefer. He nodded once to Vanille, to Fang, and then to Lightning and muttered something about him having to go in.

Hope, with a soft, concerned expression, said, "We don't need to go back in. We can keep going, if you want. It was just cool to look around…"

Sazh shook his head almost immediately. "This is probably the only time I'll get to see Oerba. I gotta take in all the sights!" With a smile he pushed in past Hope into the schoolhouse and, as he entered, the four remaining offered him congratulatory cheers while Lightning silently trailed Sazh. She watched him close his eyes after entering and he inhaled deeply, slowly. She was considering asking him if he was okay but, after realizing how stupid the question was, she instead clapped Sazh's shoulder.

Snow sidled over to where Lightning stood and raised an eyebrow at the fact that Lightning was even willing to _touch _Sazh. "Something I should be concerned about?" he motioned towards Lightning's hand, still on Sazh's shoulder, with a playful smile on his face. Lightning gave him a scathing glare while Sazh perked up to his normal self.

"Hell yes you should be!" he boomed, drawing a chuckle from Vanille, who had entered moments earlier. "Women can't resist my…" he ran his hands down his body sensually while he adopted a sleazy drawl, "…finer charms." A wink of an eye and he continued. "I had to pry her off me out there. She practically threw herself on me…took all I had to say 'no', but, it was hard…I mean, she was like an animal!"

"I can imagine," Snow said earnestly. "I'm surprised you escaped with your innocence intact."

"I am too. And a little disappointed," Sazh grunted.

The two men broke into a giggle-fit when Lightning's glare increased in intensity. "You sound like little girls," she added snidely.

Sazh grunted in disagreement. "We're too manly to be little girls. I mean, testosterone drips off us in mass amounts."

"That's disgusting, Sazh."

Snow donned a lopsided grin when Sazh, while carefully picking up the chocobo figurine in the corner to examine it, said, "Would you rather hear about what else drips—"

"Gods! Sazh! Shut the hell up!" Lightning's face contorted in repulsion as she marched away while Sazh and Snow, along with the eavesdropping Fang, burst into laughter behind her.

_Is this what I'm going to put up with? Snow's never quite like that alone…it's probably worse when Gadot's around…_ At that she groaned inwardly. What if Snow, Sazh, and Gadot were together in one room? _Then I'd be wanted for murder._

She soon found that her feet had carried her to the chart that Snow and Hope had examined earlier and, to her surprise, Hope had returned to continue his inspection. Her elbow brushed against his arm and, once alerted to her presence, he shifted sideways to offer her some room. Hope sighed quietly and rolled his eyes when Sazh and Fang began laughing obnoxiously together. "Don't they ever shut up?"

"If only we were that lucky," Lightning muttered, tousling Hope's hair before focusing her attention on the chart before her. Immediately after reading the title her face fell into a frown as her features darkened terribly: it was a chart about the War of Transgression against Cocoon, and the events that took place during the war.

The chart itself was very large; maybe twelve feet by five, with tiny, cramped writing describing the different occurrences throughout the war—from the initial attack that Pulse led against Cocoon to the appearance of Ragnarok. The timeline presented was filled with many tragedies, including the destruction of several villages on Pulse. A side note mentioned the approximate number of casualties from each attack.

The numbers were staggering. So many had died. Hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands…

"It's terrible, isn't it?" Hope said quietly. Lightning, however, ignored Hope; ignored the jokes passed between Sazh, Fang, and Snow in the background and their laughter. Instead she leaned forward, consumed by the information before her, and as she began to realize the magnitude of Pulse's loss, her frown became more severe.

Of course, Pulse wasn't entirely innocent in the war: the timeline listed a handful of initiatives led by Pulse on Cocoon and, as was common knowledge, the war ihad/i begun because Pulse attacked first. That said, the attacks by Pulse never seemed to be especially successful and, obviously, the results had been far less dire to the citizens of the world above. Why, though, was there such a difference between the casualties on Cocoon and the ones on Pulse? The Pulsian folk seemed tough, if they were anything like Fang and Vanille…and they certainly didn't lack the ability to fight back.

_Was it because of the difference in the fal'Cie on the two worlds? _The fal'Cie of Cocoon spoiled its citizens and protected them from any harm. The people of Cocoon were the fal'Cie's pets. Here, though, on Gran Pulse, whenever the fal'Cie weren't attacking the citizens of the planet, they were ignoring them. They were more focused on cultivating the land and, as a result, the people were left to fend for themselves. Had that been a key factor in the proceedings of the war?

She read on, memorizing the names of the villages that had been destroyed and the numbers that had died next to each name. Initially she had thought that, perhaps, the citizens of Pulse had transformed into Cie'th, but now she wondered…

Her nose was only inches from the poster now; her eyes slowly and deliberately scanned every word, vowing to never forget the horrors that Gran Pulse had to endure throughout. _Whatever happened to wartime conduct? To the rules concerning the safety and rights of civilians? Why didn't they apply here?_

Had all of Pulse's citizens been seen as monsters? As people who deserved to die? Is that why those who came in contact with the Pulse vestige in Bodhum were forced to be Purged—because of that undying fear of anything relating to Pulse?

The image of Vanille consoling Sazh came to mind, as did the memory of Fang advising Lightning about Snow while gazing upon the old photograph of a life long gone. _How could anyone see them as monsters? _How many more like Fang and Vanille died because of Cocoon's inability to understand? Because of Cocoon's brutality?

The anger—that uncontrollable anger that she hadn't felt since she attacked Snow soon after being branded—returned and roiled her blood. How could the people of Cocoon be so damn _stupid? _Why couldn't they understand what they were doing to the planet beneath them? She may be a soldier, and she may be skilled when it came to killing humans and monsters alike but, dammit, the war and the losses were pointless! Even she could see that!

She clenched her fists and readied to make the poster, that horrible reminder of the truth, pay for the knowledge it had bestowed upon her. Her hand, however, hovered near her ear, uncertain. What point would there be in hitting the poster? All she'd manage to do is hurt her hand…

Hope reached up and took Lightning's fist in his palm, gently pulling it downwards. "Attacking an inanimate object won't do anything, Light," he said lightly, his fingers lingering a few moments around her hand before he withdrew.

"I know," she said gruffly, her cheeks hot. _I feel like an idiot. _She was very aware of the eyes of the others on her, and of the awkward silence that had fallen around the room.

Fang shuffled around near the exit. "The war was tough on both sides. Maybe a bit more for us but, hell, we started it, yeah? Maybe we got what we deserved." She offered a shrug, one that was far too casual and indifferent, before stepping outside and holding the door open. "At least we're able to travel together and not kill each other. That seems like an improvement."

Vanille skipped next to Fang. "And plus, we're relying on each other now! There's trust between us!" She chuckled merrily for a moment. "Maybe we're learning."

Lightning said nothing, her anger still bubbling. Try as they might to alleviate her fury, it did little to quell the flames in her veins. The stupidity of the people, of the leaders from both worlds—Pulse and Cocoon—was unbelievable. They were driven by fear and misunderstanding and unwillingness to communicate. They were fools, all.

_I was no different. I _am _no different. I feared Pulse, too, until Serah was taken on the Vestige. _

She shook her head, telling herself it was an entirely different matter, and joined Snow and Hope as they stepped outside, back into the salty Oerban air. Snow was casting her sidelong glances, obviously worried, but she tried to ignore it. She had nothing to say, after all. Maybe he, too, sensed that there was little he could verbally do for her, as, instead of words, he reached over and squeezed her hand tightly, briefly, before placing that same hand on her shoulder and guiding her forwards, towards the bridge.

"No more stops for today, I think. We've been playing tourist long enough," he said, using his free hand to shield his eyes from the sun. "Let's just head straight for the bridge and see what's beyond that." He dropped his hand from his brow and glanced over his shoulder at the others gathered behind him and Lightning. "Sound good?"

A cacophony of groans and assent met Lightning's ears and, without further ado, they continued forward, past the doors of the buildings on either side of them, and ever towards the bridge, towards their fate.

The battles were no less grueling, but they had become routine by this point. Hope, Fang, and Lightning had become an especially effective team when they worked together and it showed when the battles became shorter, though still intense. Snow, Sazh, and Vanille formed a second team due to the limited space they had to fight and would travel ahead to the next set of fiends to take them on. It was an effective method, although the lessened manpower was more tiring.

The sun was still fairly high in the sky when they reached the beginning of the bridge. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and sat on the cracked concrete for a short breather.

"Wonder what's beyond here?" Snow said, perhaps more to himself than anything. Lightning took a seat at his side, offered him her water flask, and shrugged.

"It used to be another village. Well, I mean, there was a big plain, and_ then _there was a village," Fang said, her eyes distant as she remembered. "Vanille and I snuck over there a couple times. Nearly got eaten by fiends a couple times, too."

"With you leading the pack, it's a wonder the two of you even survived," Lightning sniped.

"I've saved your ass more times than I can count!" Fang shot back, clearly annoyed.

"Please. You're too old to be saving anybody's ass, let alone mine."

"If there's any ass I'd like to save, it'd definitely be yours, Lightning."

Lightning's head swiveled around to glower at Snow, who hid his smile behind the water flask as he took a drink. Once finished, he nudged her in the side and cackled devilishly, and Lightning heard Hope groan.

Fang, however, hadn't forgotten the debate. "_I'm _old? Hah! I was frozen in a crystal. I never aged a day. Hell, I look younger than you do!"

"I just look older due to the stress of having to save your ass every day," Lightning said evenly, nearly grinning in satisfaction when Fang spluttered, completely at a loss for words. Finally, after trying to form several incoherent sentences, she began cursing again, threw her hands in the air, grabbed her pack, glared at Lightning, and stalked away.

"One point for Farron," Lightning said, quietly enough so that only Snow could hear. Her words caused Snow to choke on his water.

Hope shouldered his pack again after their brief respite. "Best go find the harpy," he sighed, trudging forward. Sazh followed suit, commenting on the fact that Hope had just 'made a funny'. Vanille only shook her head and jogged to catch up.

Snow stretched his hands over his head and stood, offering a hand to Lightning, which she declined. She stood on her own and handed Snow his gloves, which he had removed, and readied herself to continue on. Before she could take a step, Snow leaned forward and pressed his lips against her forhead, smiling warmly at her when he stepped back.

"Just a few more hours 'til we stop for the night," he said happily. "Then we can be…'us'."

Lightning, unsure of what to say, nodded, smiled, and turned to leave. Snow grabbed her hand and went with her, their fingers intertwined.

She had to admit, the feeling of holding somebody's hand—a hand that didn't belong to a child—was nothing short of awkward for her. Her arm was at a strange angle and her palm was sweaty from using her gunblade throughout the day. Yet, that said, she had to admit that it felt…_nice. _Right, somehow. His large paws easily contained Lightning's, with some room to spare, and he was surprisingly gentle for a man his size.

That same damn fuzzy feeling began spreading through her, and she began to wonder when she became such a _girl._

They broke apart once they caught up with the group, both taking the lead once again. Fang was muttering darkly, cursing Lightning out, but said nothing particularly violent or hateful as they treaded forward.

_No need to apologize to her. I didn't really say anything bad. She's just ticked off because I won._

Satisfied that she hadn't caused any lasting harm to the strange relationship she had with Fang, and still feeling the warmth that Snow's touch had imparted upon her, Lightning's steps quickened slightly, pulling her ahead of the others.

And then she stopped, suddenly, and the rest of her group gathered around her, curious. Then their jaws dropped, and Snow took several steps to the fore.

There, standing no less than twenty feet away, stood Serah.


	16. Disillusioned

**Note: So, I figure I owe everyone some semblance of a reason as to why I've been horrible about updating. There are several facets to my excuse, but the most prevalent one at the moment is the fact that I'm getting married in a month and a half and, for some confounded reason, I'm actually expected to take part in planning the event. I don't know why this expectation has been placed upon me, but I find myself disliking it quite a bit...**

**Added later: Okay guys, the description for this story is "Snow", "Lightning" and "romance" for a reason. Srsly.**

**Anyway, I hope you can still enjoy this chapter! Please review or leave a comment to let me know people still follow this tale, and to let me know what you think of it. I appreciate your thoughts!**

* * *

"Serah? How did you—"

Lightning stared for many long moments, her mind scrambling, grasping frantically at the faintest gleaming of sense that flashed through her mind. Her voice had caught in her throat; her legs refused to budge. No messages being sent from her brain were being transmitted to the other areas of her body. The only thing she could do was stare in semi-horror at the shade that resembled her sister.

How did she know it wasn't really Serah? Why was it so apparent to her and no other soul? And, if it was so apparent to her, why couldn't she do a _damn thing _about it? Why was she frozen in her spot, holding her breath, hardly daring to blink?

That's when she spied it again: Serah's engagement necklace, dangling from her neck, gleaming menacingly in the sunlight. Suddenly, her paralysis made a little more sense; her strangling fear became more understandable. Her eyes remained locked on Serah and her blood boiled at the sight of this…of _whatever _this thing was taking on the form of her sister, but ice soon replaced the flames in her veins when Snow—clueless, bumbling, idiotic Snow—opened his arms wide to welcome Serah. Sazh released an audible growl behind Lightning, though whether it was because he sensed the _wrongness _of the situation or because Snow was being a total bastard was beyond Lightning at the moment.

No, the only thing she could concentrate on was the sudden ringing in her ears and the violent drop of her heart into her stomach. She felt as though someone had stabbed her chest, wrenched it sideways, and then punched her in the stomach with brass knuckles when she saw Snow embracing Serah in the same way he had done to Lightning not so long ago. Lightning stared dumbly at the two figures before her, her mind alternating between loathing, hate, anger, and an overwhelming depression that threatened to send her teetering over the deep end. Each time she drew too near to the edge, she'd let her rage silently consume her again as a distraction.

But it would never last, that rage. The sadness, the crushing sense of loneliness, always seeped right back in.

Hope shifted behind Lightning, drawing near to her elbow, his face a dangerous scowl. His check brushed against her arm; his hand gently grazed over the top of Lightning's fingers, but his eyes, glinting dangerously, never left Snow.

"All the time I was asleep, I knew what was happening."

_Oh, really? Really? All this time you were asleep, you knew what was going on, huh? So that's why you're running back into Snow's fat-ass arms? That's it? _

Why couldn't Snow see it? What the hell was wrong with him? Was he so desperate to see Serah that he'd take this pathetic excuse of a puppet and accept that as his former fiancée?

Wait—was that it? Had he missed Serah that much?

Had Lightning really only been a substitute?

Doubts came again, and this time there were reasons for them. Undisputable proof, in Lightning's eyes, that she had been used. Undeniable evidence that Snow hadn't really cared for her, not like he said: he just wanted a warm body to snuggle up to, one that reminded him of his dearly beloved. His words probably hadn't been for her after all: they were probably all for his benefit, so he could gain something. They were probably all lies.

He never meant a damn thing, did he?

_I'm a soldier, _she thought bitterly. _A killer. The anti-hero. I don't get my own happiness, do I? I fight and give it away for everybody else to have. That's my role. My purpose. Everybody else just uses me to help themselves, don't they? Even Snow._

"I kept trying to think of a way to save Cocoon—together."

And that's when Snow snapped back to reality. He uttered Serah's name, shoved her away: repulsion, shock, horror, and the signature expression of someone who knew that he just screwed up royally was etched all over his face as he stumbled backwards several steps. He glanced quickly towards Lightning, who didn't even grace him with an acknowledging nod…her eyes remained coolly forward, sending all her hate towards the phantom-puppet before her.

Hope, sensing Lightning's rising ire, pressed himself closer to Lightning. "Let's beat the shit out of it," he seethed, though whether he meant _Serah _or Snow, Lightning wasn't entirely sure.

_Serah _rose to her feet, slowly. "You get it now," she said softly. "There are no gods with miracles to save us, no matter where you look."

Lightning's glare of intense hatred heated to unfathomable levels. She didn't know why, exactly, she was so upset. It could have been because this beast took on the form of her sister; of pure, innocent, everybody-loves-me Serah. Perhaps it was because it had been a long night and her nerves were wearing thin. Or, perhaps it was because of that crushing feeling that Snow wasn't meant to be hers; that Lightning wasn't supposed to be happy; that Snow had wanted Serah all along; that she had been lied to; that every single damn time she got close to something it was ruthlessly ripped from her grasp…

Or maybe because, for the first time ever, Lightning was experiencing something similar to heartbreak at the sight of her sister and Snow together. She finally understood what she was doing with Snow, that she was taking Snow away from her only flesh and blood, and that she had endured all those trials of getting over her sense of betrayal just to see _this…_

Her jaw set, and her hand itched to reach for her sword. Her body was slowly humming back to life. Perhaps, within a few minutes, it would respond to her brain and she could destroy the vile monster before her that had just stolen the euphoric feeling from Lightning's gut.

"Destroy Orphan!" False Serah pleaded. "We'll save the world!"

Finally, Lightning snapped. She felt it, too, deep within her—deep within her chest, buried beneath her brand. She felt all the many years' worth of buried tears spring to her eyes, her heart felt like it stopped beating and her body went cold as the last of her walls came tumbling down. "Stop it!" she cried, and her voice shook with an emotion that echoed her despair.

_Serah _wanted to save the world? Together? It echoed too many conversations with Snow. It echoed far too many of Lightning's fears—that Lightning could do nothing without Serah, that in the end, Lightning was useless to protect anybody, that they would have to protect _her_. In the end, everybody could do their own thing without Lightning. It was entirely selfish, she realized this, but it was time for her to face the truth of it all. She was on this journey for something far more than just "saving Serah"—she was here so she could regain a purpose within her life, to feel loved and needed, and all that seemed to be shattering. This specter had reclaimed the one thing that Lightning had gained, she thought—

"You can't do that. You love me too much."

Lightning stood there, at a loss.

"You do. Don't you, Claire?"

It was hard to miss the devilish twinkle in _Serah's _eyes, the all-knowing smirk that played her lips. Lightning's hands transformed into fists, ready to strike, when Snow finally roused from his slumber.

"Enough already!" Snow stood—protectively?—before Lightning, his face grim and full of regret and self-loathing. "Listen up. We are all shooting for the same goal here."

_Are we Snow? Are we really? What goal are you hoping to attain through all this? Power over me? Manipulating me? Making me feel like shit right now? Sex? What was the point? How could you be so blind?_

And then, as if to assist Snow's inability to see, _Serah _transformed into the beast she truly was—Barthandelus.

A small voice within her almost laughed. Lightning herself had to fight the urge as well. Of course it was Barthandelus—who else would it have been? Only he would have known how to pull the strings so well. Only he knew how to bring about the depths of despair that Lightning now felt. Only he knew how to manipulate the situation to his advantage. She should have seen it sooner.

"And the result of that is this." The head of the Sanctum held his arms wide, like Snow had when he welcomed Serah back into his _loving _arms. Snow recognized immediately who was being mocked.

"You son of a –" he charged forward wildly, his own teeming emotions guiding his swing. It was an effort as fruitless as any other against the mastermind of the Sanctum—the old man merely vanished, only to reappear a few feet away. Snow recovered quickly, rushing forward yet again, but his fist was blocked by a shield that sent him flying backwards, towards Lightning, and he crashed onto his back. Lightning didn't even bother to check if he was okay. Instead, she used her training to calm herself down to a point where her emotions didn't blind her vision, to where she was the cold soldier she was used to being. While she settled, Barthandelus began speaking.

"You betray your fal'Cie to chase after dreams and shadows," he said slowly, deliberately. Lightning knew what he meant—they betrayed Cocoon's fal'Cie's orders to try and save themselves, and their world…and in the mean time, they chased the shadow of hope that was saving Serah, and, in Lightning's case, the dream of maybe finding her real purpose in life, the one that didn't involve bending everything around Serah's will.

_The dream that could have involved Snow._

She berated herself for the thought, focusing intently now on the old man before her.

"The world you claim to wish to protect now faces the end of days with no hope of salvation."

Lightning grunted. "I didn't think fal'Cie had the means!" The fal'Cies' destiny was chosen for them already. They could do nothing outside of serving the humans that had become their pets—that is, they couldn't do anything aside from giving those same humans a hazy focus to complete. Ending the world wasn't in their job description.

_Although he did a hell of a job ruining _my_ world._

Barthandelus smirked in his all-knowing way, only making Lightning more resolute in ensuring that this bastard was going to get the flaming shit beaten out of him.

"Oh, it won't be fal'Cie who destroy her," he said mechanically. "For centuries now Cocoon has provided generously for its human inhabitants' every want and need. Coddled them, one might even say. The result being a deep-seated fear and hatred of change and all things aliens."

Lightning saw Fang shift out of the corner of her eye. She also noted that Fang's weapon was drawn, and a mirthless smile was on her lips.

"Fed, nurtured, and ready to detonate at the slightest spark. The seeds of destruction take root, even now."

That's when it all started snapping into place within Lightning's head. "What did you do to Cocoon?" she spewed venom at the elderly man before her as her body finally responded to its deep-seated desire to draw her weapon.

Barthandelus grinned again. "I resigned, appointing Raines as Primarch in my stead."

Snow seemed shaken out of his regret and self-loathing at this revelation, which had also affected Lightning. "Raines? He's alive?"

He seemed so…_eager_ at that thought.

_Of course he is. If Raines recovered from his crystal stasis, that means Serah can, too._

That sadness and guilt penetrated her heart yet again.

"The puppet is restrung to serve my needs, yes. Its eyes had long since turned to glass. Of course, the Calvary's eyes will see our friend as nothing more than a traitor to their cause. They'll say the fal'Cie got to him, too, or some such drivel. And imagine—when I spread word that it's Orphan tugging at his strings—what happens next."

Lightning's head lowered, ready to charge, but Sazh's voice somehow dragged her back, away from the violence. "You're gonna use the Cavalry to take the thing out?" He said incredulously. Snow turned to look at Sazh, and then came to rest on Lightning. She felt—actually _felt—_the longing in his gaze, but she had no doubt in her mind that the yearning was for Serah. Not her.

Never her.

The growing smirk on Barthandelus' face sealed the man's fate: everyone drew their weapons, even as he finished laying out his intentions, and the noise of Vanille's rod striking the ground returned Lightning to battle mode. "Perhaps. Or perhaps I'll feign the howling of Pulsian wolves and let the fear-addled sheep slaughter themselves first. Either way, the end is at hand." He laughed in a way that nearly made Lightning shiver. "But what of yourselves? Will you enjoy the festivities beside me?"

Snow's head finally snapped back towards the former Primarch, glaring mightily.

"Or perhaps," Barthandelus raised his staff high in the air, a blinding glow surrounding him as his mechanical bird flew down to greet him. "Greet the end here, in the land where it all began?"

"Kiss my ass, cocksucker!" Sazh bellowed, firing off an entire clip once Barthandelus transformed into his terrifyingly large alter-ego. Hope, who had been hugging close to Lightning's side, immediately laid his hand on Lightning's shoulder, and she saw the faint glimmer that was a protective spell encase her. His hand dallied on her skin before he darted to the opposite end of the field, doing the same for Vanille, Fang, himself, and then Sazh—Lightning noted with some satisfaction that Snow went without.

"Vanille! Hope! Behind the group, support roles! Fang—saboteur, _now!" _Lightning issued her orders clearly, concisely, needing the chance to melt back into her former commanding role. When she was nothing more than a soldier, she didn't have to _feel. _She only had to concentrate, to think logically and get the battle done. As long as she had a goal, a target to kill, she could handle the confusing rush of emotions that threatened to swallow her whole. At least, for now.

"You need me!" Fang hissed. "I'm better than—"

"You're the best saboteur we have, so do the job I give you!" Lightning shouted as she lowered the tip of her blade to the ground, dancing between raining blows of missiles and other such nonsense that Barthandelus was sending her way.

"But—"

"No!"

"You need my spells! Lightning! You need _me!_" Hope cried as he watched Lightning's blows fall fruitlessly on Barthandelus.

"I wouldn't if Fang would do her damn job!"

"Light—"

"Shut the hell up, Snow," she spat, whirling around once to face him. "I didn't ask for your opinion, and I don't want it now!"

Fang continued to argue with Lightning while Lightning charged forward endlessly, her blade working tirelessly against their hardy foe. She didn't particularly care that her attacks were less effective—it'd just mean more time on the battlefield, more time away from…from everything else.

Finally, after seeing Lightning's many attacks hardly scratch Barthandelus, Hope dashed between Snow and Sazh, roughly shoving the former to the side, and stood directly in the center of the battlefield. She saw that familiar fire in his eyes, the same one she had caught a glimpse of when he had charged Snow in Mah'habara (or, rather, when he darted off to _find _Snow in the caverns), and she knew what was coming. Quickly, she hopped down off of the puppeteer and tucked herself into a neat summersault that carried her far from the imminent explosion that was to follow. She may not have seen it, but she felt its searing heat on the back of her legs and neck, and was nearly deafened by the roar that came after.

Lightning stood by Hope's side, preparing for her next assault. "I told you," Hope huffed. "Next time, listen to me."

His eyes locked on hers, and Lightning knew that his words were meant for more than just this battle. She didn't have the energy at that moment to backhand him.

But, damn it all, she wished she did.

* * *

The battle was nearing its end after well over an hour of endless combat. Lightning had never endured a battle such as this and, she had to admit, it had taken its toll on her. Mentally speaking she was just okay: she could focus on the battle so long as her eyes didn't happen to land on an equally-struggling Snow, who would cast her sideways glances every time he so much as felt her eyes upon him. Twice now their gazes had locked, and twice she _hmph_ed audibly before destroying one of Barthandelus' creepy-ass heads that he wore. While Snow proved to be effective at allowing her to strike much harder, he was also causing her to make stupid mistakes like striking when she should have healed or defended.

In addition to making mistakes that nearly cost _her, _Lightning's disrupted mental judgment also meant that Hope, Vanille, and Sazh had nearly bitten the dust more than once. Hope had saved Lightning's ass four times already, and though it was usually Lightning who issued the orders on when to heal and when to change battle paradigms, Hope and Sazh took it upon themselves to pick up Lightning's slack: they, being a little more flexible in their l'Cie abilities than Snow, for example, would switch to whatever role they believed would assist them the most without so much as saying a word to Lightning.

Physically, though, Lightning was, by far, the worst off. She had been relentless in her efforts of attacking the foe throughout the entire battle. Though her body was conditioned for such events, she found that her lack of sleep and the grueling day before her left her feebler than she was comfortable with. More than once she found herself knocked down by one of Barthandelus' attacks, and at one point her leg was split open in a nasty gash that, it seemed, nearly had her muscles spilling out of her thigh. It was a disgusting sight, and both Vanille and Snow had spied it at the same time. Vanille had cried out in dismay and tried to scramble over to Lightning's side, but Fang had yanked her back and shielded Vanille from yet _another _assault by Barthandelus. Snow's eyes had narrowed and he began sprinting across the battlefield to aid Lightning, but Hope, with a vicious snarl, lurched forward to Lightning's side and his healing spell flowed forth from his hand. His eyes locked with Lightning's, nodding once when the spell was complete and helped her to her feet, which was when she took off again to seek her vengeance.

Snow had stopped mid-sprint, his eyes darting between Hope and Lightning, before slinking back to his guard duty for Sazh (he had originally been watching over Hope, but after Hope continually edged to the opposing side of the field as Snow, the sentinel soon gave up). His stance was exceedingly defensive, to the point where the excess energy from Barthandelus' attacks had little effect on their brutish guardian: instead, it envigorated him with some semblance of strength that allowed him to rush forward, bellowing, his fists drawn back and prepared to pummel the first thing he laid hands on. Surging, raw emotions guided his attacks; a deep hatred and loathing that few understood but all appreciated, as his assaults were indeed putting a dent in the fal'Cie's armor.

Now Lightning stood with her gunblade lowered at her side, her eyes taking in the sight of the faltering fal'Cie before them. She knew it was almost defeated, but the prospect of what would come _after _its defeat was almost more daunting to her. She'd have to face Snow eventually, she knew that, but she wasn't sure how to avoid him for the time being. This battle was the only thing stalling the inevitable.

The thought of stalling, of purposefully giving this last stretch less than her all, came to mind. She wondered if she could pull it off without the others—namely Fang—catching on. A third and fourth glance was cast around at her troops, and the thought was almost immediately dispelled from her mind at the sight of her haggard friends.

Vanille was supporting herself with her rods, leaning against them for support as she wearily raised her hands to throw a spell Sazh's way. Her eyes were heavy and her face and body were muddied and splashed with flecks of blood. Sazh appeared worn and tired, to the point where he could barely even stand without stumbling over himself. Fang was battered and bruised from shielding Vanille and Lightning as often as she had, and her favored staff had broken at some point during the fight, leaving her with a newer and less useful weapon.

Hope and Snow both appeared relatively similar: their clothing was torn at spots, and both sported blood on their coats and gloves. Hope's pant leg had been singed by his own spell that had backfired, somehow, and, strangely enough, Lightning swore she noticed a similar feature on _Snow's _pants. Both were exhausted, and yet both were still fighting valiantly, giving the battle everything they had. Hope was stumbling now, though, and would have fallen flat on his face were it not for Fang reaching down and steadying him with an even hand. He gave her a bleary smile and somehow mustered enough strength to conjure up another hailstorm.

Fang, after waiting out a deadly rain of blows from Barthandelus, charged forward yet again, her polearm split into its three sections as she leapt high into the air. One section struck the left-most singing head in the eye, interrupting the spell it was preparing to cast. She twisted mid-air and wound her weapon around herself and, when everything was pulled tight, she released her gathered energy and delivered another devastating blow to the already-weakened head beside the first one she attacked. It died, faded away, and Fang, with a triumphant roar, landed safely back on the ground in time to receive another protect spell from Vanille.

Not wanting to be outdone, Sazh charged forward, his weapons emanating a cold energy. He grinned, tapped the icy sides of his guns, with his nose, and fired off a barrage of shots to the exact opposite heads that Fang had struck. "We men will get this shit taken care of!" he shouted, his enthusiasm masking his exhaustion. An entire clip from both guns was released, but the effect hadn't been as powerful as Sazh had hoped, as Lightning had been forced to deflect Sazh's bullets, lest she be their primary target. "Oh. Oh shit."

"Watch where you're shooting, idiot!" Snow cried when Sazh backed himself near the giant. Sazh yelled something intelligible right back, just before Barthandelus began to charge for his next attack.

Hope collapsed as Barthandelus prepared yet another missile attack. Fang grabbed Vanille and tossed her by Hope, running over soon after to guard them both with an upraised staff, shouting Hope's name while Vanille summoned a potent revitilzation spell. Snow protected Sazh as best he could, but the overgrown man glanced up to see Lightning fending for herself. Their eyes met yet again and Lightning gave one of her signature glares before darting between the falling projectiles and nimbly jumping upon Barthandelus' shoulders to drive her sword into the monstrosity's skull, which was what she had been intending on doing before Sazh disrupted her. After over an hour of battling, it seemed as if their attacks _finally_ had an effect on the main portion of the fal'Cie—its defenses had been lowered enough that her blade struck true. Moments later, Barthandelus was defeated…but not without saying a few final words.

The six of them stood there as they observed Barthandelus' retreat with weary eyes. None could compel themselves to so much as attempt to chase after him. When the portal appeared, Lightning knew it lead to Cocoon—to their ultimate goal. She knew Barthandelus was baiting them. She wanted to follow through with the plan, to go through the gate and seek their ultimate goal, but it wasn't because of any noble cause like finding Serah—it was simply so that she wouldn't have to deal with Snow again tonight, in Oerba. She wanted to be engaged in battle so that her mind could be free from _thinking _and _dwelling _on what had transpired between Snow and Serah. She just wanted to forget and move on.

Her conscious mind didn't seem to want to accept such reasoning, though, as it fed the lies of _tactically speaking, it would be wise to charge the enemy now _and _waiting will only give Barthandelus more time to prepare. _She knew something was inherently wrong with these statements, and her sergeant's mind nagged at her to reconsider, but she would have none of it. They would move on, today, after they caught their breath.

She turned, holding her head high, and informed the group of her intentions, maintaining an even composure all the while. She felt the heavy stares of her teammates, heard the almost-silent mutterings of Sazh and saw Fang's exaggerated eye roll, but she wouldn't bring it up. They'd have to accept her decision without any further ado.

Far more aggravating was Vanille's sad, pity-filled eyes that weighed heavily on Lightning, and Snow's shame-filled glances in her direction. Perhaps the others sensed that Lightning's patience was about to snap, because they decided to separate of their own accord.

Fang was the first to speak. "We'll break first, like you said," she said with a small sigh. A tap on Vanille's shoulder alerted the young girl that Fang wanted her attention. "I saw some scraps a bit further back that might work wonders with your weapon…" With that, the two left, casting dark looks Snow's way as they passed him.

Sazh stood towards the back, his arms crossed and his mouth tight. "Snow, come with me to the terminal. I'm gonna hack into it and get some supplies. I can use your stupidly big arms to help me carry them back here." Snow, looking like a little boy about to be scolded, heeded Sazh's words and turned slowly to trail after Sazh, who had already begun stomping towards the ancient computer.

Hope was the only one left, and once everyone was a good distance away, Lightning willed herself to give him a small smile, which was not returned. Instead, she saw his normally placid blue eyes transform into a squall of gray. His head was lowered, casting shadows across his face, and in that moment he was both wonderful and terrible to behold. Lightning could see – no, _sense –_the thunder cackling around him, could feel his silent strength and power. That power, that mystery, intrigued her: and that intrigue, in turn, alarmed her.

She turned, chastising herself. _He's just a kid, and Snow just…this is wrong._

_Wrong? _Another voice chimed in. _'Wrong' was stealing your sister's fiancée. 'Wrong' was kissing him on the roof. 'Wrong' was hoping you could have a future with him._

_No. 'Wrong' was going through all that just to see him run back to her—not even her. Just an image projected by Barthandelus. _

She didn't remember it happening, but she found herself sitting on the bridge with her head in her hands, her mind in overdrive. Had she been foolish to think Snow would ever truly move beyond Serah? To fall for _Lightning? _Serah and Snow were made for each other. They fit, didn't they? Serah was the damsel in distress, he was the hero…and what was Lightning?

She was the battle-weary soldier. A sergeant. Not Serah.

What had she expected to happen? She had known that heartbreak would be the only outcome. When did she become so delusional as to believe otherwise?

Warm hands wrapped partially around her upper arms, and she felt a familiar heat flood her body. A glance down made her heart skip a beat: she spied gloved hands.

But they belonged to Hope.

She sighed and relaxed her body to allow his cure spell to course through her more easily. "Thanks," she mumbled when she felt the sinews of her muscles pulling together more fully. Her leg still ached, but it was already noticeably lessened than the unbearable pain from earlier.

Hope didn't say anything; instead his hands trailed further down her arms, still healing. Light fingertips graced her elbows, where they lingered.

"How bad do you feel?" He asked quietly, and although the voice belonged to Hope, it was deeper, huskier—full of battling emotions.

"I'm fine," she said automatically. Hope tutted and pressed forward, his chest pressing against the back of Lightning's head.

"Yeah, right," he muttered, his fingers continuing down towards her wrist. "You're not a very good liar."

"Noted."

Silence fell between them. She watched Hope's feather-light fingers dance over her skin, first in a healing trance and then without the tell-tale green glow. The rhythmic circles travelled from her upper arms to her wrists and they distracted her from the painful memories and thoughts that plagued her. She gladly welcomed Hope's attention.

There was a hesitation in the dance, and a sudden rigidness overtook Hope's body as a new harshness entered his voice. "Snow's an idiot," he said, forcefully. Lightning grunted in response. "I mean it, Light. He doesn't deserve someone like you. If I thought it'd make you feel better, I'd kill-"

"Enough," she said quietly, suddenly feeling very weary.

How much more death and loss could she take? First she lost her parents, then her childhood and social life, then Serah…now, when she thought she had gained something-someone-it got torn away from her by an illusion of another woman. Was it her lot in life to have fate make a mockery of her? To tempt her with happiness and then suddenly snatch it away?

What was she missing? What was she not understanding?

Hope's arms encircled her shoulders and hugged her tightly, his chin resting against the crown of her head. She felt his presence, and also a prickling sensation at her eyes.

How could she feel so lonely with so many people surrounding her?

"I'm here for you, Light."

She allowed one tear to fall for all the things she had lost and never regained. Nothing more.

* * *

"You damn idiot! Give me one damn good reason why I shouldn't blast your ass back to Cocoon!" Sazh hissed as he beat the keyboard of the terminal. He had been deathly quiet since they left Lightning many minutes prior.

Snow's shoulders slumped, his head hung. "Sazh, I don't—"

"Do you even know what the hell you just did to that woman?"

"I don't—"

"Of course not! You so stuck on yourself that you can't see the damage you causin' others!" Sazh huffed, his eyes darting quickly to the screen when the terminal began to beep irregularly. "Dammit." He punched more keys until, finally, it played a cheerful-sounding tune that signified they had gained access to the main public server on Cocoon. "You just broke that soldier, fool," he began again, this time more vehemently. "She had her hopes all up, was bein' all nice, and was as damn near to giddy as a woman like that gets, 'cause she thought you was all into her. And what'd you do, hm?"

"I—"

"You done fucked up!" Sazh roared. "She looked like you ripped her heart out and fed it to those damn dinosaurs!"

"It wasn't that bad—"

"No?" Sazh laughed coldly. "What the hell do you know? You're an idiot, remember? I just told you that you were." More buttons were being pressed as Sazh placed his order, and the items were being created and mixed in the dispensing receptacle. "You just confirmed her doubts, boy. She was lookin' for a reason to not get involved, and your little display with that ugly-ass Barthandelus just gave her one hell of a reason."

Snow, though not entirely understanding why _hugging _the illusion of Serah was such a dreadful thing, knew that Sazh was probably more than correct in his analysis of the situation. He knew the truth behind his friend's words. Not knowing how else to properly vent his frustrations, Snow hit a fist against a piece of the concrete bridge that had somehow bent sideways, and was lying perpendicular to the rest of the cement. He felt the pain and remembered Mah'habara. He remembered Lightning coming to him. Remembered hurting her and pushing her away.

Would she come back to him again?

Snow looked over his shoulder and saw Hope with Lightning, embracing her, and he knew that he had hurt Lightning one too many times. She wasn't going to linger and help Snow heal while ignoring her own wounds.

Sazh shoved a handful of potions into Snow's hands. "You better try your damndest to make things up with her, 'cause if you don't, Fang and I'll beat the shit out of you. We'll enjoy it, too."

* * *

Fang and Vanille were the first to return. When they did, they were met with a stony-faced Lightning and an unreadable Hope.

"Ready to go?" Lightning asked, taking note of the shared glance between the two girls. "What now?" she snapped, her patience waning by the second.

"It's, well…" Vanille struggled to find the words that she so desperately sought, but Fang touched her shoulder, nodded, and picked up the conversation in her stead. "I'm tired as hell. Vanille can barely walk straight. Sazh is cursing like a sailor and he's gonna start throwing punches soon. We need rest, Lightning."

Lightning stood and adjusted her gloves and shoulder plate. "Fine. We rest when we get to Cocoon."

Stupid idea? Yes. Fang knew this, too.

"That's the dumbest plan you've ever had!" Fang cried, her stance widening. "We don't know what's waiting for us on the other side of this gate. By the sounds of it, it's gonna be war. You're going to march dog-tired troops into that mess?"

A curl fell into her eyes as Lightning met Fang's dumbfounded stare. "That sounds about right."

"Stupid bitch," Fang grumbled, which caused Hope to protest slightly. "Just 'cause you don't want to deal with Snow doesn't give you the right to sacrifice us!"

Silence fell immediately after Fang realized her error. Lightning, not knowing if she should be angry, embarrassed, or shamed, merely stewed quietly in her spot, reflecting on the truth of Fang's statement. Without a sound she brushed her hair out of her eyes and strode forward, shoving past Fang, and made her way back to Oerba. She passed Sazh and Snow, the latter trying desperately to gain her attention by reaching out to her, but she snapped her hand away and continued on. Sazh transferred all the supplies he carried into Snow's already over-burdened arms, then jogged to catch up to Lightning.

"Where we goin'?"

"I'll figure that out once I get there."

Her angry footsteps stopped in front of a large warehouse near the bridge; the warehouse that they had cleared earlier without really exploring it. She threw her shoulder into the door and, as usual, it didn't budge. She swore loudly and readied her next assault when Sazh and Hope appeared at her side. Their combined strength reopened the doors and, without waiting, Lightning walked in and began setting up her bedroll in the furthest corner. There was a hideous black spider lurking there, along with a damp spot that looked like it probably had all kinds of bacteria in it, but she didn't particularly care – she just wanted to be alone.

"Fang and Vanille got watch tonight," Sazh said. Lightning grunted in approval as she draped her flimsy blanket over her bedroll.

Hope, after many minutes of debating, threw his bedroll down just a few feet away from Lightning. He almost reconsidered when he saw the gargantuan spider, but after throwing an excessively large fireball in its direction, and after seeing it was quite crisped, he was able to prepare his bed.

The other three arrived with Vanille in the lead, almost frantically setting up her bed. Fang followed shortly thereafter, red in the face and pissed off. Snow was some ways behind, a combination of fury and shame expressed on his countenance.

Lightning was almost glad to see him shamefaced.

Vanille and Sazh struck up a loud, forced conversation about sleeping arrangements—which was pointless, as Lightning, Hope, Sazh, and Vanille had already claimed their spaces—while Hope and Fang ruminated quietly in a corner together. Lightning busied herself with menial tasks until she felt someone watching her.

"What do you want?" she spun around quickly, her tone expressing her exasperation.

"To talk," Snow said timidly. "Upstairs."

Lightning blinked at him once, her arms hanging limply at her sides. "No." With that she bent down to untie her boots, but Snow caught her arm.

"We need to talk. Please."

"Touch me again," she hissed, "and I'll make you pay." Her voice was venomous ice, and Snow knew that she was serious. He backed down, looking like a beaten puppy. Lightning continued to ready herself for bed. Even while the others still spoke, she threw herself under her meager covers and rested her head on her hands, staring hard at the burned carcass of the arachnid only a few feet away.

_Snow can burn in Hell with that spider._

Why should she talk to him? Their pathetic excuse of a romance barely lasted a day before he ran into the loving arms of an imaginary woman. He had spouted all that shit about being ready, about moving on – hell, he had even taken off his engagement necklace – and, what's worse, she had _believed _him. She had been ready to begin handing her heart over to him – and for what? So she could watch him run into her sister's arms?

_Oh, the irony. It kills. Thank you, Fate. I owe you._

At least she found out what it felt like to be in Serah's shoes. At least their fling had barely started before it was over. That certainly had to be good for something.

_But how long will I be alone for?_

She paused at that. Would any man ever see her romantically, or would they ever dare to try? Perhaps they'd all end up being like Snow—try and gain Lightning's affections and then run away once they saw her for what she really was?

Was she capable of loving? Was she capable of being loved?

What was wrong with her?

Why did everyone leave her when she needed them most?

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to inhale slowly. _I need to calm down. I'm getting carried away. Overreacting. Being melodramatic. _

The air in her lungs was released as slowly as it had entered, and once her blood pressure dropped back down to a normal level she was able to comprehend that the room was very quiet. Everyone must have turned in early, she believed.

_Turned in early…like me and Snow. Barely lasting a day. _But if it was so short, why did it hurt like it did?

She pulled her shabby blanket around her shoulders and stood quietly. Suddenly, she didn't want to be here. Some cool air was needed to clear her head.

Lightning tiptoed to the stairs, pausing when she saw Fang sitting near the stairwell, carefully pulling the curls of Sazh's afro while he slept with his head on her lap.

"Fresh air?" Fang asked quietly, releasing the curl so it snapped back in place. Lightning nodded once, solemnly, though she was almost disgusted by the sight of the two. "Good. If you need to talk—"

"I don't. Thanks," she said flatly, already halfway up the stairs. Her feet carried her the remainder of the way, where she opened the door to the rooftop. As she did so, her nose was assaulted by an array of aromas, all delicate in nature. As her eyes adjusted to the dim moonlight, she understood why – she was surrounded by flowers, hundreds of them, all of various types, and all in bloom. The bright petals appealed to her eyes and, with little extra thought, Lightning took a seat on a bench and leaned over to smell a daisy.

_Serah loved daisies._

A frown possessed her lips when she recalled a time when, only a few months ago, Serah had brought home a bouquet of pure white daisies. Lightning had demanded to know who had given them to her, but the only response she had been given was "an admirer".

There was no doubt who the admirer had been.

She grunted and leaned back into the bench, clasping the blanket to her chest with one hand and holding the daisy to her nose with the other. As she remembered times long gone, she spied a large shape looming a few feet before her.

"Daisies don't suit you," Snow smiled weakly.

"Go the hell away. I told you I'd make you pay."

Snow's forced smile faltered. "Daisies just don't match. Too weak and delicate. We need something else for you."

"I said 'go away'. What didn't you understand?"

Snow was silent as he slowly peered over the flower beds, his hands clasped behind his back. "I made a mistake today," he announced, leaning down to examine a flower before righting himself again. "Seeing Serah—"

"Not Serah," Lightning interjected.

"Seeing the _image _of Serah took me off guard. I was relieved to see her. I thought maybe things would end. This whole l'Cie thing, I mean. She—the image—ran towards me. I didn't know what to do…"

"So you welcomed _Serah _back with open arms. Got it."

He sighed and rubbed his eyes in frustration. "I don't understand what's so terrible about what I did! I-I hugged the stupid thing. I didn't have sex with it!"

"That's not the point!" Lightning barked. The wind blew and a door creaked open behind a flowering bush. "The point is that you ran back to…to _Serah _without so much as a second thought. That says a lot."

Snow nodded where he stood, then leaned over to pluck a blossom. He lifted it to his eyes, scrutinizing it carefully, then turned to face Lightning, his face buried in shadows. "A rose."

"What?"

"A rose. It suits you."

"How original."

Snow bit the inside of his cheek and drew nearer to Lightning, his eyes locked on the flower's petals.

_A rose. Common. Everyday. Thanks, Snow._

"A rose," he enunciated clearly, bravely taking a seat next to Lightning. She drew her knees underneath her, withdrawing from his presence. "It looks…feminine. Delicate. Beautiful." He glanced up at her. "There's a lot of layers to the petals. It smells amazing." A slight smile on his part was not returned by Lightning. "But everyone knows that there's more to a rose than just that. It looks beautiful, but if you're not careful when you reach for it, it fights back. It resists being plucked—its thorns will dig in to you."

_What is he trying to say? That I dig my thorns into everyone? _

Snow looked frustrated. "The only way to get the flower without damaging it is to slowly, carefully, reach for it; to know where the thorns are, to understand that they're there, and to..to just…work with them. Maneuver around them, you know?"

"Does this have a point?" she snapped, feeling satisfied by the hurt that sprang into his eyes. Despite that, he continued with his thought.

"Then, sometimes, even after finding the thorns, the person reaching for the rose is still careless. He's too rough, grabs the flower, treats it badly, and injures himself…and the rose, too." At that he lifted his thumb to show a deep laceration, one in the general shape of a thorn. He then showed Lightning the stem of the rose, which was slightly bent from his efforts of pulling it from the dirt. "Look. What I'm trying to say is that I treated you wrong today. I acted without thinking, and as a result I hurt both of us, in one way or another. I'm sorry."

Lightning said nothing.

Snow sighed and broke off the stem of the rose, examining it a final time before tucking the flower behind her ear. "Beautiful but strong. Always prepared to defend itself. Yeah. Definitely a rose."

At that point Snow had the audacity to lean in and kiss her.

She was stupid enough to allow it to happen.

He was nervous, she could tell that much: where before he had been more aggressive with his display of passion, now he was carefully pressing his lips against hers, ready to jump away at the first sign of trouble. He knew he was walking on dangerous ground, perhaps. As a few seconds went by without him being injured, he relaxed a bit, bringing his hand up to stroke the side of Lightning's face, to tuck the flower snugly back behind her ear yet again. Calloused hand found the back of her neck, pressing her head into his a bit more forcefully, and as he did so she felt his tongue gently gliding over her bottom lip. She very nearly granted him entrance, too.

She was so damn close to it that she became angry with herself for giving in so easily.

The hand that held the daisy soon dropped the small flower in her lap, then reached up and grabbed Snow's wrist, thrusting him backwards. "I can't forget what happened today that easily, Snow," she said, averting her gaze. "I need to think. I need you to leave. Go back to bed."

He growled, frustrated, and leaned in again: this time hot kisses traced her jaw, the sensitive folds of her neck, her shoulder…she didn't want it to stop. A part of her wanted and needed the attention. She craved it in more than a physical way—in a sense, it almost reaffirmed that Snow's intentions had been entirely for her all along.

She could almost forget that she had taken second place when Serah appeared.

Her mind, always ahead of her heart, had already ordered her hands to push Snow back.

"No, Snow. I said no."

"But—"

"She told you to leave, moron." Both heads swiveled over to see Hope standing near the doorway, his face donning a stubborn frown. His eyes were locked on Snow, and his footing was rooted to the ground. "So leave."

The two males glared at each other for some time before Snow stood wordlessly and departed, his knuckles white from forming tight fists, leaving a confused Lightning in his wake.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," Hope said quickly, stepping nearer to Lightning. "I woke up and saw that you were gone, and so I...I came to see if you were okay. I mean, not that you couldn't defend yourself or anything," he added quickly. "I heard Snow arguing with Fang for a bit before he came up here…and then I came up soon after." The seat Snow had taken previously was now claimed by Hope, who was gently taking Lightning's hand, much to her discomfort. "So…are you okay?"

"Yup." She was thoughtfully silent for a few moments as she carefully removed her hand from his and clenched the blanket more tightly around her shoulders. "That was uncalled for with Snow. You shouldn't have called him a 'moron'."

"Well, he _is_ a moron, and you've called him worse," Hope huffed. Lightning couldn't really argue against that logic, so she absent-mindedly reached up and stroked the velvety petals of the rose, her thoughts immediately flying to Snow. Hope, perhaps sensing her darkening mood, reached up and peeled away a lock of hair hanging in Lightning's eyes. "You don't..." He bit his lip nervously as he dropped the curl to the side. "You don't look okay."

"Just tired."

She was far from tired—her mind raced at a hundred miles a minute, trying to understand Snow. How could he _not _see the big deal about letting another woman run into his arms? Why couldn't he understand Lightning's worries over where he really stood with Serah?

She felt a strange, comforting, pulsating sensation emanate through her body, originating at her temple. Her eyes traveled over to see Hope's hands glowing purple, and very soon after that her body became heavy and her eyes weary.

"Dammit, Hope," Lightning yawned as her head fell onto Hope's shoulders without her consent. While she sure as hell didn't want Hope sending her to sleep in such a manner, she knew she desperately needed the rest. She wouldn't have gotten it any other way; not with the road her mind was taking this night.

Hope chuckled, almost uncertainly, in response to Lightning's comment. "G'night…Claire," he said quietly, almost as if he didn't want Lightning to hear.

Lightning didn't even have a chance to respond: she was already fast asleep.

She woke twice from her deep slumber: once because she felt her body being adjusted on the bench. Her light blanket was draped over her body, and she felt a feather brush against her temple and, soon after, her lips. Lightning was too tired to realize that there were no feathers near her. Only Hope.

The second time came much later, when the moon had nearly settled down for a rest of its own, and this sudden wakefulness was brought upon her by nightmares of the Shiva Sisters-although she knew nothing of their appearance, they somehow were pale, pink-haired twins, one more bright and cheerful while the other was haggard and worn. The first took the gift from Serah to Lightning into its hands and, donning a smile all the while, she shoved the small knife into the heart of the second sister, grinning and twisting the blade mercilessly as the second sister struggled to escape from the pain and hurt, from the betrayal of her kin.

Lightning woke in a cold sweat, the brand above her breast sending a sharp pain through her body. Wincing, Lightning sat upright and allowed the blanket to collect around her thigh. She doubled over, her fist pressed tightly against her chest, and took several deep, even breaths to calm herself. Her face was level with her knees, and as she struggled to regain her composure, her hair fell about her face, disrupting the resting spot of the flower that Snow had given her. It fell to the ground, and Lightning wondered at the crumpled leaves and the bud's overall poor condition.

Trembling fingers stretched out to grasp the petals, but they stopped mere inches from the flower. _It should just stay there, _she thought bitterly. The ground was, after all, the perfect place for such a token: it had a higher probability of being stomped on and ruined, didn't it? That would have been just fine by Lightning.

Once more her mouth took on the shape of a thin line as she sat back in the bench, drowsiness overtaking her once more now that her body wasn't reacting to her heightened distress. A brief consideration was given to the idea of rejoining the others downstairs, but as exhaustion claimed her she found herself already lying on her shoulder, facing outwards and yawning widely. She turned, curling herself into a ball, and prepared to sleep yet again.

She closed her eyes only briefly before opening them, peering over her shoulder at the forgotten blossom. She frowned as she spun around on her bed and, without really thinking, she plucked the rose back up and held it up against the waning moonlight.

_I don't know what to think anymore._ She furrowed her eyebrows as her fingers traced the delicate edges of the petals. _Does he really care for me or not? Or is it really just Serah?_

And with that she curled her hand back inwards, clasping the bud against her l'Cie brand and wishing madly, perhaps vainly, that it was the former option.


	17. Public Enemy

**Si's Note: Dammit! I thought that I had gone only a couple weeks before uploading this one...where did the time go? Ah well...at least I got it out before The Big Day. As a side note, I will reiterate my statement from the last chapter - this has the label of Snow and Lightning for a reason, guys!**

**Anyway, please feel free to review! I do so love hearing from those who read this, even if I'm absolutely horrible about responding!**

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It had started out as a good day, sure. He had stayed up the entire previous night after having made out with the woman he had ardently desired for all these years. His thoughts had been buzzing from the feel of her lips against his skin to the way her skirt would hitch up when Lightning stretched her arms around his shoulders and the bulge of her bellybutton ring against his abdomen. The latter two thoughts especially ensured that he definitely wasn't going to get any sleep, and it also provided him with much discomfort throughout the twilight hours.

After that night, it had seemed like a promising morning—they made good progress through Oerba and gained invaluable experience as they trekked through the empty streets of the abandoned city. All six of them had been having lighthearted conversations in between killing anything in sight, and Sazh and Lightning were actually getting along quite well: Sazh had confided in Snow that Lightning was a big softie at heart, which was then followed by a very severe threat to Snow's manhood if he dared breathe a word of that to Lightning.

Then he had held Lightning's hand, felt some fuzzy feeling deep within him, and was as happy as a clam—whatever that meant—and everything was splendid. Absolutely splendid. He had been imagining things to discuss with Lightning or, more importantly, he envisioned different things they could do once night fell, and none of them included him sleeping in a cold, damp corner of a warehouse, alone and miserable because he had hugged some damn image created by Barthandelus.

What did he do that was so wrong? Why wouldn't Lightning accept his apology? He hadn't hugged the stupid thing because he was still romantically interested in Serah, or because Serah came first or…or whatever the hell it was that Lightning claimed he did. The only thing he remembered feeling is a deep, intense sense of relief at the thought that, now that Serah was back, maybe things could settle down and they wouldn't have to be so concerned about whether or not they'd survive the next day. It didn't make much sense, now that he thought about it, but hindsight is a bitch that way.

Things were going decently well up on the rooftop overwhelmed by flowers, too, once he got going and didn't fear quite so much for his life. He had managed to kiss Lightning, and he had felt her body respond to him positively before being pushed away. That meant she didn't despise him to the point where physical contact repulsed her—which was good. But then that little bastard boy came running onto the scene, his fourteen-year-old pride all out on display, and ordered Snow to leave. On any given day, Snow would have fought back…but he was so enraged by the interruption that he was forced to remove himself, lest he repeat the Mah'habara incident, only this time he'd have taken Hope by surprise instead of it being the other way 'round.

Now he was staring at the cold, metallic roof of the warehouse; bitter, pissed off, tired and hungry. Somewhere between being chewed out by Sazh, getting into a verbally abusive shouting match against Fang that he may have lost, and trying to make things up to Lightning he had forgotten to eat. As a result, he was facing his second night without sleep.

What had started out as a good day resulted in the most miserable day he had ever spent on Gran Pulse, and quite possibly Cocoon as well.

Snow was not happy.

He grumbled into his trench coat, feeling terribly sorry for himself. If Lightning could just _believe _him when he had explained what had happened, then maybe they'd both be spending a lovely night beneath the stars on the flowery roof, which would have been a fantastic spot for a romantic romp or four. But, no, instead he was here…

_That woman is too damn stupid sometimes. _

A grunt escaped him as he sat up and sighed, thoroughly aggravated with the entire situation he found himself in. Calloused hands roughly pressed against his face, trying to force his annoyance away. Fang, who had apparently just switched shifts with Vanille, was quietly padding by but stopped when she saw Snow.

"Can't sleep?" she asked kindly, using her staff to help her lean down to his level.

"Not at all," he mumbled, his voice thick with exhaustion.

"If you'd like, I can help you with that…" She glanced down at Snow, smiling warmly, her hands glowing a faint purple. Snow nodded appreciatively.

The last thing he remembered was Fang's staff hurtling through the air at record-breaking speed, but that was right before it smashed against Snow's head and effectively knocked him unconscious. Were he still in the realm of the waking, he would have heard her sneer, "Stupid ass."

He should have known it was coming as soon as he heard the niceness in her voice.

The passage of time continued on its merry way without Snow being aware of it, and some while later he was roused by Vanille's surprised intake of breath, followed by long-lasting guffaws by Sazh as Fang explained exactly how Snow had, during the course of the night, suddenly sprouted a lump the size of a chocobo egg on his head.

"He's lucky I didn't get to him, or else my gun'd be pointed at his a—ahh, hey, look who woke up! Long night, kid?" Sazh boomed cheerfully. Snow tried to blink, wondering if Sazh had somehow known that consciousness had been restored to him, but the effort he put into thinking was pointless once Hope started speaking.

"Not really a long night, no…I slept pretty well."

Vanille grunted in annoyance. "I bet you did," she said, almost coldly. If Snow weren't in such severe pain, he would have been astonished at her tone.

_What happened? What's going on?_

"I'm going to go pee," Hope announced, and his footsteps were quite quick as he began to dart across the pavement, but somebody must have blocked him, as a short moment later a thump was heard, followed by a soft "Oof".

"You aren't going nowhere, kid," Sazh warned. Snow's interest soared, and he wished madly that he could see what was going on. "You and I need to have a little talk."

"A…about what?"

"Somethin' tells me you know exactly what about," Fang said lightly, though her voice was no less menacing than Sazh's. At the mere sound of her vocal cords in action, Snow felt angered all over again…and then pain wracked his brain from focusing his hatred too much.

"Is this necessary?" Hope said, and the sounds of a struggle could be heard. He must have given up shortly into it.

Vanille's dancer-light footsteps reverberated off the walls. "You know you don't have a chance with her, right?"

"What are you talking about?"

Sazh tried to be gentle with his words, but a slow crescendo built his voice into a rather uncomfortable volume. "You know what we're talking about, Hope. She's twenty-one. You're a fourteen-year-old. She thinks of you like some…you're just a kid!"

_Hell yes you are._

"You guys are all crazy," Hope muttered, and it seemed that he was trying to escape through the door, judging by his amount of effort going into his exhales and grunts. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Hope—"

"I just want to pee! Why can't I pee without you guys badgering me about this? And why won't this stupid door open?" More scuffling noises ensued as Hope tried desperately to retreat.

"You can't keep trying to screw Snow over by showing Lightning how awesome you are and then making Snow look like a jerk," Fang said slowly. "Even if you did succeed, all you'd manage to do is leave Lightning heartbroken and alone. Why don't you get that?"

A loud _thud _echoed through the warehouse. "Snow doesn't deserve Lightning! All he does is screw up and make her feel bad! She-she and I have been together since...almost since the beginning. She's the only person here I can count on, and Snow's trying to rip her away and he's...he's gonna just make things bad for her in the end!"

_...the hell does he know? I resent that! He has no idea what's going on!_

"Hope, it's okay, calm down-"

"No! You made me talk, even when I had to pee, so now you have to listen! You're all being so stupid about this!" His voice was not hysterical, but it was loud and adamantly enforcing his thoughts. "You saw what happened yesterday with Snow - do you really think that, at the end of all this, it will be any different? Snow's just gonna run right on back to Serah. You know it will happen, but you keep shoving the two of them at each other anyway! You're setting her up to...to be devastated, and once that happens she'll leave us and never come back!"

_Is that what all this is about? He's afraid Lightning will leave him?_

An excruciating stretch of silence passed between those gathered; the air was uncomfortably thick. Snow strained his ears to hear what was going on, but the most he could make out was, possibly, quiet sobbing...or it may have been some monsters scuffling in the distance. Finally Sazh said, "S'all right, Hope...S'all right. Calm down. Let's walk outside, okay? We need to do some man-talking." Afterwards, the metal of the door ground against the cement, and two sets of footsteps escaped the warehouse.

Snow's mind tried to understand what had happened, but it didn't work too well. He instead focused on Sazh's voice, which was still permeating through the metallic walls despite his distance, and he could clearly make out him speaking to Hope about Snow and Lightning's strange relationship, about how Hope needed to let things take their course, and then a question that involved what exactly happened on the roof and how Hope felt towards Lightning. This last section, which would have been the most educational conversation Snow would have ever eavesdropped on, was cut off when Vanille and Fang began to speak.

"That," Vanille said slowly, "was awkward."

"You," Fang countered, "were a bit chilly back there to Hope. What was that about?"

Vanille's beads tinkled. "I just don't get why the guys fawn all over Lightning. What about us?" she sighed. "I don't get it."

"Speak for yourself. Sazh's all over this." Fang slapped her backside. "Besides, if I was a guy, or if I weren't interested in men, then I'd be all over that girl, too."

"What!" Vanille seemed shocked, and a little hurt. Snow wasn't sure whether to be disturbed, annoyed that _this _was the reason that he couldn't hear Sazh and Hope's discussion, or incredibly intrigued. "Why doesn't anybody care about _me?"_

"There, there...We care about you! You wouldn't be forgotten! It'd be a Ménage à Trois!"

Another silence. "Fang...sometimes I don't really know why I'm friends with you."

"I don't really know, either...but, come on, the idea _was _pretty damn good."

"No, Fang. It's a horrible idea, and it'd never work. Besides, it'd be weird and...and it just wouldn't work, okay?"

After that, the two females delved into an in-depth debate on the logistics of such a relationship and the pros and cons of one as they made their way to the opposite edge of the warehouse. It became so in-depth that Snow's aroused interest suddenly disappeared and he wanted nothing more than to get the hell out of there and try to listen in on the conversation he had previously heard. He slowly, painfully crawled over to where the door was and thanked his lucky star that Sazh and Hope had left it slightly ajar. He didn't dare stand, lest Vanille and Fang discover that he had been privvy to their conversation, and so he continued on his belly, propelling himself forward by slightly raising his body and pushing with the balls of his feet. It was a few minutes before he completely removed himself from the inside of the warehouse, but once he got outside he didn't really know what to do. His head still felt like an adamantoise sat on it, the sun made his headache worse, and he feared that Sazh or Hope would appear from around the corner at any given moment and beat the shit out of him over some stupid misunderstanding between Snow and Lightning, or because he would have interrupted them.

Oh, the day was not getting any better...

Snow flopped onto his back and shielded his eyes from the burning rays of the sun, trying to formulate a plan. He had somehow become Public Enemy Number One, which did not bode well with him at all. He needed to either find a friend or just lay low until everyone was all ready to leave -

_Where's Lightning? She's probably the only one that won't try to kill me today, ironically enough..._

A shadow passed over the sun, and Snow peeked through the crack of his fingers to see if it had been a cloud. Instead, he found a rather dissheveled Lightning peering at him from over the rooftop of the warehouse. "You sound like a whale when you roll over. The whole building shook."

Despite himself, Snow couldn't help but grin. "Good morning, beautiful." It might have _seemed _like sarcasm, but Snow thought otherwise...and he was desperately hoping it would be enough to put her in a good mood. Maybe it'd even be enough to brush over the whole issue from yesterday...

"Shut up, Snow."

Or not.

"Still mad?"

"I said 'shut up'." She paused and pursed her lips as she surveyed the area. "Where is everyone?"

"Hope and Sazh went to talk. Vanille and Fang are inside, and I strongly suggest you don't listen to their conversation."

"Didn't really want to," she responded. "What happened to your head?"

"Fang," he said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "How come you're up there?" Snow noticed the flimsy blanket help firmly within her grasp, and he suddenly realized that she had been absent during the debacle inside.

Lightning just shrugged before vaulting over the low walls of the roof. "Hope used some weird spell. It put me to sleep."

The struggle that was Snow trying to stand to his feet was only worsened by the sense that the ground was continually leaping up at him and trying to slap him across the face. "Huh," he scowled, once he managed to stand fully. "Sounds like some sort of date-rape spell."

The joke was not appreciated, which became apparent when Lightning folded her arms across her chest and frowned. "Nobody asked you for your opinion," she sneered. "He was just being nice. Courteous. More than I can say about you."

"Please. That kid'd do anything to jump into your pants, and you know-"

He hadn't realized that she had been carrying her gunblade, because if he had, he'd have been much more careful with his words. His error was realized far too late, however, as he found himself at the mercy of her blade tip, which was uncomfortably close to his jugular. "Like you're any different?" She said snidely, and when Snow's eyes raised to meet hers, his heart dropped to his stomach. Behind her lashes he spied nothing but anger when she gazed at him. "You'd say any lie to do the same. You weren't so different back when we first met, either. You haven't changed a bit." She dropped her blade and walked past him, her shoulder ramming against his, hard.

Snorting derisively, Snow turned to watch Lightning leave. "Whatever. Keep telling yourself that, Lightning. When you're ready to man up to the truth, let me know."

Lightning tapped her temple twice before grabbing the handle of one of the doors and sheathing her blade. "I've known the truth since the beginning of this mess, Snow. I just forced myself to believe otherwise." The door opened up a smidgeon once she began to pull, but Snow strutted forward and slammed it back shut, which caused the other to pop slightly open. His headache and irritation fueled his anger.

"You don't know shit, Lightning. You've been lying to yourself this entire time, trying to come up with excuse after excuse as to why you can't go ahead with _anything, _when the truth of the matter is you're nothing more than a damn coward. You pretend you're so big and tough by throwing me aside, by pushing everyone else away, but you know what? You only come across as an ass! And with Serah, all you do is-" He stopped suddenly when Lightning's angry little fist forced his jaw from its socket. He glared coolly at her, and she returned the gesture quite readily. Without blinking he set his jaw back into place, leaned forward, and pushed her hand, which was reaching for the open door, away. "All you've done about this Serah mess is find all these different lies to cling to, to keep you from making the hard decisions that I've already made. And you know what? As soon as you make them, you still scramble for reasons why you should go back on your decision-" A second punch came soaring from the left, but he ducked under it and allowed Lightning's fist to hit nothing but air. "As soon as that Barthandelus incident happened, you pulled away without even listening to my explanation. I'm not the smartest guy in the world, but I'm not a liar. You're just too much of a coward to believe me! You know what the implications are of our relationship, and you're just looking for every excuse in the book to not deal with it!"

Lightning was positively seething by this point. "No, Snow. You don't know shit about me. You have no idea what's going on in my head, and no idea why I do the things that I-"

"Then tell me!" Snow roared, his fist slamming against the door behind him. His head throbbed, his jaw ached, and now his hand was stinging slightly. He knew that the entire population of Pulse was probably aware of their argument, and he didn't care in the least. "I'd sure as hell love to know what you're thinking, 'cause I don't have a damn clue!" His eyes aimed towards the sky as he let his head fall backwards in exasperation. "You won't let me get close to you, and when I try you sit there and say I'm a damn liar!" _What do I have to do to prove how serious I am about this? _"I mean, I had to find out from some scary-ass fal'Cie what your name is! Just tell me things-"

"You don't deserve to know anything," she said, and her voice was like ice. Her eyes shot to the left, where they hovered for a few seconds before flying back to Snow. "Go back to your damn damsel and play 'hero' all you want. You don't need cowards like me in the picture, right?"

_How did it get to this point?_

"Lightning, no, wait-"

"Get away from me, Snow. I'm done with this conversation."

"Wait, dammit!"

She tried shoving his hand away from the door, but he countered by sweeping his forearm over her wrists, pressing her arms back down. "You're not going anywhere, Claire," he breathed. At the mention of her name, Lightning's face froze, and her expression swayed between outrage and sorrow. "You can't walk away every time you're upset. You can't leave whenever thing's don't go perfectly."

Back straight and head held high, she enunciated clearly: "Watch me."

And watch he did as she soared back up to the roof in two leaps - one that took her to a window sill, and the next that took her to her destination. Snow could do nothing but stare in astonishment at her pathetic behavior, and he was left wondering how the hell a simple 'good morning' had escalated to what it had.

_I shouldn't have lost my temper, but..._

Enough was known about Lightning to realize that she only behaved in such an immature, and violent, manner when someone, particularly Snow, struck a very major nerve. He didn't know if it had been the mention of Serah, or the idea that Lightning was a coward, that had sent her flying off the hook, but there was definitely something amiss. His only real regret, aside from losing his temper, was not finding out what they underlying factor was to this entire mess. Why couldn't she confide in him - no, why _wouldn't _she?

Why did she run away every time he wanted answers?

Why did she have to hit him so _damn _hard?

He rubbed his jaw absentmindedly, craning his neck to peer at the roof. He knew she wouldn't go inside, not yet. She would probably fume by herself for the next thirty minutes, and then appear downstairs, acting like she had just woken up, then she'd demand to leave at that exact moment.

_Fine, let her do just that. I don't care._

Somewhere deep within he felt an inkling of fear, though. She would demand to leave, to go to Cocoon at that exact moment, and all they knew of what was awaiting them was that the Calvary would possibly be in an all-out war against the Sanctum and its citizens would be hysterical. Doubts about whether he was really prepared for such an event flooded his mind: Barthandelus had, after all, taken quite a toll on the entire group of them. He wondered if they would truly be ready for something like Orphan, which was probably a much more powerful fal'Cie than the old bastard himself.

Worse, though...what if something bad happened on Cocoon? If they got into a fight with some beast that overpowered them...what if Lightning were to fall in battle? She had a tendency to jump in front of attacks that threatened the safety of another in the group, especially Hope...and she would have no qualms about taking a life-threatening blow to save someone else. Snow knew that no beast could fell her in normal battle, when she wasn't concerned about the safety of those around her, but...what if she was taken down by protecting others?

By protecting him?

They were on bad terms right now, and it was doubtful that she'd speak to him any time soon. If she were to take a fatal blow in battle, then...

Snow was certain he wouldn't be able to move on. He needed her, more than he realized. She gave him a reason to fight: he wanted to be with her when it was all said and done. Each day was another chance to draw nearer to her, to learn about her; and though today didn't go well (or yesterday, for that matter), he still hoped that things could be rectified. He couldn't lose her.

He wouldn't lose her.

He would do everything in his power to ensure she was safe. She _had _to be safe.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled as he thought, and as he flew around he realized what it was that Lightning had noticed earlier. "What are you looking at?" Snow's eyes bored into Hope and Sazh, who were standing silently quite a distance away, but still within earshot. Sazh just threw his hands in the air, while Hope looked away, abashed. Snow gingerly ran his fingers though his hair before turning towards the door and sighing with great exaggeration. The same digits that had previously travelled through his hair now wrapped around the door handle and prepared to open it, but Hope charged forward and told him to wait. "What?" Snow snapped impatiently. He didn't really feel like being told off by a fourteen-year-old when he was already ticked off and in a horrible mood.

"I...I just...wanted to say..." Hope looked hopelessly over his shoulder at Sazh, who was tapping his foot impatiently. "I...just..why did you do that to Lightning yesterday?" he blurted, and though his cheeks tinged after his question, he wasn't about to back down.

Had Hope asked the question in any other manner, Snow would have flown off the handle, completely losing whatever cool he had remaining. The curious manner that Hope had tipped his head, the sincerity and sadness in his eyes, and his sorrowful tone, however, caught Snow by surprise. As a result, the only thing he found himself doing was swallowing hard and dropping his arm. "It's not like you to find out the facts _before _attacking me," Snow said with a slight smile. Hope looked away, his cheeks now an unearthly shade of scarlet. "What happened yesterday," Snow mused thoughtfully. "I saw Serah and thought that everything would be over. I was relieved, and when she came running towards me, I just didn't really know what else to do. There's no sinister plot or anything...just me being stupid." He leaned against the door heavily, releasing his breath slowly, carefully ensuring that his head did not press against the cold metal. "Everybody thinks that I ran back to Serah because of some deep emotions that I felt towards her or whatever. That's not it. That's not it at all."

Hope pondered this for a moment before asking, quite nervously, "So...you don't...feel that way towards Serah, then?"

Snow looked down at Hope, a harsh expression on his face. "Not anymore."

A nod was given by the younger boy, who had now shoved his hands in his pockets. "And...what about Lightning?"

"What about her?"

"Do you...what will you do with Lightning when all this is over?"

Snow's heart sank a little further. "That depends if she still hates me as much as she does right now." He pointed to the bruise that was sure to have formed on his face by now, and Hope seemed rather shocked by whatever met his eyes. "If she's willing to talk to me, then...I'd like to sort everything out and..." Snow suddenly felt very embarassed and exposed, but he felt no need to hide his desires. "I dunno, if everything works out well, I'd like to...maybe start a family up or something."

"With...Lightning?"

"She's been a good mom to you and Serah, so why not?"

Hope visibly cringed. "You care about her that much?"

Snow was thoughtfully silent for a good stretch of time. _Did _he care about Lightning that much? Was he willing to start a family with her, share a house and his deepest emotions and desires and all that, despite her reaction to him today? Wasn't he pushing things a little quickly? She had, after all, just knocked his jaw from its proper residence...

Then again, didn't she have every right to treat him that way? To her, it probably seemed like he was running back to Serah, just like she had said before...even if that wasn't the case. He shook his head and returned to the question at hand. "I care about her a hell of a lot more than I ever realized," Snow said solemnly. "I just keep screwing up when I'm trying to show her that." The question didn't need to be answered fully; not yet. He still had time to ponder whether a future with her was still likely, and to try and mend whatever rift had come between them.

Hope nodded a few times, and then grew very serious. "What will you do if you see Serah again - the real Serah?"

_What _will _I do?_

He had never really thought about it. Yes, he cared about Lightning, and his romantic feelings for Serah were basically nonexistant, but...how would he break the news to her? What would he say? How would he act? Could he do it, with Lightning looming in the background? What if she came running to him again, like the false-Serah did yesterday? Could he refuse her? Would he hurt Lightning for the umpteenth time?

Snow's shoulders slumped. "I have no idea," he admitted.

Hope didn't seem entirely satisfied by this answer, but he didn't press Snow any further. Instead, he walked forward until he was at Snow's side, facing the opposite direction. "I'm sorry for getting in the way, even after I promised I wouldn't. I...don't want Lightning to get hurt, and I don't want her to go away." Head hung, he continued. "Don't make her leave, Snow. Convince her to stay with us...with...with you." At that Hope sidled through the door that Snow was not occupying.

Sazh then strode forward, beaming proudly at Hope's back. "He's a good kid. Little confused, and a bit of an overachiever when it comes to women, but a good kid overall." Chocolate eyes raked over Snow. "You look like shit," he commented, a goofy grin on his face. "Can't imagine why."

Snow shrugged. "Women hate me today, I guess," he said in resignation.

"I gotta admit...you deserved it. Bastard."

"Yeah, yeah..."

Sazh scratched his chin for a moment. "Sleeping Beauty didn't take kindly to you today, huh?"

"I'm not going to talk about it," Snow muttered in response. "I just hope she realizes that I'm telling the truth...preferably sooner rather than later."

"Don't worry, Trench," Sazh patted his shoulder reassuringly before beginning to side-step through the door. "She's got a fiery temper and a mean right hook, but she has the potential to be smart, too." Sazh's face turned forward, into the building, and he mumbled a very perceptible "oh shit".

Snow, interested, stepped in close behind. There, standing no less than ten feet from the door, was Lightning with her face masked in glorious indifference. She noticed the two men walk in and she simply walked away, her head now slightly bowed. Hope rushed over to them, mentioning that he wasn't sure how long she was there, but she had been present when Hope had walked inside as well.

An uncomfortable silence stretched for two minutes before Fang and Vanille rejoined the group from their conspiratorial corner. "So," she said, drawing out the 'o', "Do you guys think that jealousy would ultimately ruin a Ménage à Trois relationship?"

Sazh blinked several times. Snow groaned. Hope just looked confused.

"Ménage à Trois? Is that Oerban for something?" Hope asked Fang. When she burst into laughter, he turned instead to Snow. "What?" He said defensively.

"Don't corrupt the kid," Snow said, leaning against the wall. Vanille rolled her eyes at Fang and approached Snow, already prepared to patch his wounded head.

"She hasn't stopped talking about it since you snuck out," Vanille said quietly. She noted the newly formed bruise on Snow's cheek and raised a questioning brow at him. Snow just gave her a pointed _who do you think? _look that explained it all.

"You knew I snuck out?"

"I didn't blame you," Vanille grinned, withdrawing her hands once the spell had done its work on both of Snow's injuries. "Lightning hasn't said a word, either, since she woke up, even after we said 'hello'," she said, her voice now a low whisper as Fang and Sazh began speaking on the subject of choice. "Did...something happen?"

"What happened with Hope yesterday?" Snow ignored the question from Vanille. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. It would be best to forget about it and move on.

Vanille shifted uncomfortably, unconsciously drawing nearer to Snow as she did so. "Oh, nothing. Just put Lightning to sleep."

_I bet that's all he did...they wouldn't be acting so weird if that was it._

The conversation between the two eldest party members began getting far too suggestive for any of their tastes, so Lightning finally stepped forward and cut them off. "Enough. We need to prepare to leave. Pack up your bags, eat, and head back to the bridge." She looked pointedly at Fang and Sazh. "Orphan is waiting for us. This is no time for games. Cocoon could be in danger." Her eyes flashed dangerously towards Snow, and he sensed an alarming amount of animosity radiating from her. "Some of us will finally get the chance to play the hero and get the damsel."

"The damsel is being pretty uncooperative right now," Snow mumbled under his breath. Vanille chuckled and Snow felt the movement against his arm, which she was pressed lightly against. Lightning, too, seemed to notice her proximity and disproved of it, judging by the sudden scowl that crossed her features.

"Or several damsels," she added as an afterthought.

Sazh cheered greatly, "Oh, hell yes! I like the sounds of this!"

Lightning's mood was not improving, and for whatever reason this made Snow slightly happier. It may have been because her irrational behavior earlier had caused this whole mess to begin with, and so anything that could ruin her day now was just sweet revenge.

Rubbing the back of his head in concern, Hope interrupted the festivities to voice his thoughts. "Light...do you think...we can do this?" Sazh's grin faltered and died, and even Fang's perpetual cheeky smirk disappeared as the reality of his words sunk in. "I mean, Barthandelus was really difficult yesterday, and Orphan..."

It was then that Vanille abandoned Snow's side to take Hope's hand in hers, but her countenance, too, was drenched with worry. She looked from Hope to Lightning, her mouth open but no words came out. She, too, was hoping for an answer, one that didn't involve running away.

Lightning's eyes flew to Snow for a moment, perhaps hoping that he'd do his job and make one of his heroic speeches. Instead, he nodded towards her, reassuring her, pressing her to speak. Truth be told, the same worries had already plagued him, and he needed an answer as much as the two younger ones. Brows furrowed, Lightning considered Snow for another moment before turning her attention to Vanille and Hope. With nary a second thought, she glided forward and kneeled before the two, her gaze alternating between both sets of worried eyes. "We've endured PSICOM soldiers chasing us through hell and high water. We navigated across Cocoon, alone, with the outside world hating us for what was forced upon us. We've kept sane when we have a ticking time bomb on our bodies. We've travelled across a planet that's at least three times the size of Cocoon. We've killed a few fal'Cie, defeated the Primarch a couple times, survived attacks that most other people would have died in...and, through it all, we've grown to trust each other even though we're supposed to be enemies." At this Lightning's eyes, now soft and kind, landed on Vanille. "We've handled everything thrown at us so far - we've done more than surivive. We've _thrived. _We've grown and learned. We can handle anything that comes our way. We can _do _this." Lightning pulled Hope into a tight hug, and Vanille, unable to help herself, threw herself into the mix as well. Lightning seemed surprised at first, but she just gave a quiet chuckle and stood, slightly embarassed, tucking her hair behind her ear. She considered the two before her again with a soft smile and, reaching into her pack, she pulled out two very large, very red rambutans, an Oerban fruit, for the two kids, then proceeded to prepare a breakfast with some of the meat they had remaining without saying another word.

Snow had to admit, he was impressed. Not only impressed, but he suddenly became very convinced that, if he were to ever have children, he wanted her to be the one bearing them.

* * *

Nearly an hour later they stood at the portal to Cocoon, all six of them exchanging uneasy glances with each other. Finally Lightning pulled out her gunblade and held her free hand against her chest in thought. "Okay guys," she began. "No turning back from here. We're ready. We can do this."

Snow's mind suddenly recalled his fears about losing Lightning. He couldn't allow her to go through that portal; not when things were so hostile between them...

"Light," Snow said suddenly, stepping forward until he was only a few inches away. He was aware that all eyes were on him, even while he felt her annoyance, which was better than the animosity, blossoming forth from her, but he pushed the discomfort aside. He had to. "Did you mean what you said? That we can handle anything that's thrown at us?"

Her hardened walls dropped as she looked at him suspiciously. "Of course."

"I hope, then," Snow said in a barely audible whisper, "that it also applies to us." He took her hand quickly and pressed it to his lips before dropping it and backing away. She didn't seem to know how to react.

"Be careful in there, soldier," he said, smiling weakly.

Then he jumped through the portal.


	18. Concrete Hellhole

**Si's Note: **Well, I'm married now and am living in a new state. It was a long, time-consuming project, but it has been successfully completed. Now that things have settled down, I should be able to write more...hopefully! Anyway, check out my profile for the thing about challenges.

I know this chapter was a long time coming, but I still hope you can enjoy it! As another note, I should add that the method of arriving on Cocoon differs from the game because the game was dumb. They jump into an airship, go to Cocoon, jump off the airship and use eidolons...but what happens to the airship? Why waste all that energy when there are portals that take you to and from Cocoon in the game already? So, yes, I changed it. Anywho, feel free to tell me what you think via reviews. I always appreciate hearing from you!

* * *

A horrible tugging sensation at his navel dragged Snow back into the realm of the conscious. When he had first leaped through the portal, it felt as if his body was being ripped apart, piece by piece, and, hardly able to stand it, he allowed himself to succumb to sweet oblivion. Now he almost wished he had not, as it would certainly have helped to explain how he had managed to get hundreds of feet into the crisp, cool Pulse air; how he was now floating amongst the clouds and treading where naught but birds had traversed before. It was a curious feeling, but it still put him ill at ease.

By strengthening his core muscles and jerking them violently to the right he was able to twist in midair, to look behind him and slightly down. He gasped when he saw the faint dull gray outline of the bridge in Oerba—or, at least, it _looked _like the Oerban bridge—and soon after this revelation he began to panic. The others were not visible, no matter where he looked, and he was entirely unsure where this portal would take him. He _hoped _it would be Cocoon, but what if it was another Ark? Some beast would probably attempt to lay waste to him as soon as he arrived, and, being alone, he wouldn't have a chance against it.

_Why did I have to jump in alone? Why couldn't I have waited for everyone else?_

Of course, the answer was simple: he wanted to impress Lightning. Or was it more along the lines that he couldn't bear to see her response to his attempted apology? He definitely didn't want to wait around to see her rejection of it, and so, without thinking, he had leaped in to greet his probable death head-on.

_Smart, Villiers. Don't think, just act. Way to go._

Another harsh jerk at his middle sent a shockwave of pain through his back as his direction suddenly changed. He was now traveling, quite quickly, to his left, far from Oerba. His altitude was climbing at a rate much faster than he was comfortable with, and he was pretty sure that he never wanted to use a Pulse-to-Cocoon portal ever again. As his speed increased, he decided that, most certainly, he would _never _use one for the entirety of his life, so long as he could help it.

In an attempt to distract his mind from the pain pulsating at his middle, Snow examined his hands and was slightly surprised to see that they were quite hazy. He blinked several times, curled and uncurled his fist, but no matter what he did he was unable to see clearly. Closing his eyes, he inhaled slowly and released his breath. Just as slowly he began to open his eyes, peering down at his hands through the tiny slits between his eyelids, but instead of spying his hazy extremities he saw, with sudden clarity, that he was upside down and sprinting towards the surface of Cocoon.

Panic, overwhelming and uncontrollable, seized him as he foresaw his impending death by being splattered all over the streets of Cocoon. _Nobody would even be able to recognize my body! _ The speed was so great, his angle of descent so terrifyingly drastic, that he most certainly wouldn't survive the fall without a few broken bones, a concussion, and a sudden inability to live.

Not knowing what else to do, Snow closed his eyes and began to throw out prayers to anyone and anything that would listen. He didn't try the fal'Cie, though, as he was pretty certain that they would be tickled by Snow's current predicament, and so he thought _screw them _and instead prayed to the supposed Goddess, and maybe a random mattress or net, that mercy would be found within them and they could, you know, save Snow's life and everything. Prayers became more fervent and unrelenting as he peeked through his eyes again and saw, with great horror, that the ground was rising to meet him, fast. To help matters, his body became as heavy as a rock, almost ensuring certain body-splatter as the cause of his death. His lips moved at a speed that even Sound would be jealous of, and he prayed for a good length of time. All together, it was probably more than he prayed in his entire life, although, to be fair, he wasn't so sure his prayers to the mattress should count.

_Time…_

A good length of time _had _passed by…

Snow rocked back and forth on his feet, contemplating this fact. He had been hurtling towards the ground, and when he had last looked, he had almost – wait, he was rocking on his feet?

Eyes flying open, Snow looked down, bewildered, and saw his feet standing on solid concrete. He gaped openly for some time, not entirely sure what to make of this strange sight, and, after a moment where his mind decided that it couldn't handle this new information and it stopped functioning, Snow was able to find his words again.

"I'm…alive?" He blinked at the ground, apprehensive of making such an assumption so quickly. After a few moments he decided that he wasn't entirely sure if he was alive or if this was some sort of afterlife that he hadn't heard of yet. Now slightly curious to discover his state of being, Snow looked up and around, blinking at the bright sun high above him. Eyes falling down to a concrete building not far from him, he spied the words "-dential Building" in giant letters that were placed on a curved steel bar on the top of the building. Further examination would prove that almost all the buildings were made of the same concrete, and the whole world he stood in looked rather bleak and gray.

_I'm dead. I have to be. This is some sort of concrete hell._

Snow never thought he'd miss Gran Pulse, but he'd take that hellhole over this any day of the week.

He spun around and noticed a faint purple outline near the building he had awoken next to. Curiosity possessed him as he stepped nearer, his nose almost pressed against the dim glow, and he peered into its foggy depths. He was almost positive that he spied trees—Pulse trees—and maybe an ocean, along with…a bridge? But what was that in the foreground…? It was a dark chocolate, with some green, and –

Snow cried out in alarm as a heavy body plowed into him, sending both he and the new-found, similarly dead life-form toppling to the ground. Battling against this potential enemy, Snow managed to sit right-side up on…

"Sazh? Shit, man, you died, too?"

"Sure as hell feels like it," Sazh mumbled. It was noted that his face was a ghastly shade of green. "Man, I'm gonna be sick…"

Snow quickly scrambled off the old man and helped him to his feet. "How can you be sick? We're dead."

Calculating brown orbs lifted to observe Snow for a good stretch of time. "Maybe your atoms weren't arranged back properly," he said quietly, now seeming a bit unsure of Snow. "We aren't dead," Sazh announced after another brief moment. "Judging by the sign on that building, we're in the Old Quarter of Eden. That's the residential house over there." A finger was pointed towards the building that now, from Snow's new angle, read "Eden Residential Building". "This is just some concrete jungle, not a concrete hell."

Snow rubbed his neck, a bit embarrassed. "Can't really tell the difference," he mumbled, but he quickly yelled in alarm as Sazh's face turned an even more unnatural shade.

"I'm gonna go around that corner and show the road what I ate for lunch, I think," Sazh said and, with quaking legs, he delivered on his promise.

Gagging at the noises erupting only a few feet away, Snow quickly removed himself from the general vicinity of Sazh and edged to the other side of the portal, his eyes sweeping over the city that he had heard of, but never before seen.

Eden was the capitol of Cocoon, both in a political and somewhat religious sense. This is where all the major decisions concerning Cocoon were made, and also where the Primarch reigned…though the two practically went hand-in-hand, Snow reminded himself. The stories claimed that this city was more advanced than any other on Cocoon, and also far more beautiful than most could imagine, but Snow definitely wasn't convinced of that. How could the stories be true, judging by what he was now seeing?

Very suddenly he ached for Lightning to join him. She would have the answers, and if not then her uncaring shrug would comfort Snow in a way that was entirely nonsensical. There was, of course, more that he wished for from her, but right now he'd be happy with anything that wasn't a cold sneer. Something that could resemble friendliness, maybe. Gods, just _seeing _her would put him at ease.

Snow heard obscene curses emanating from behind him, all said in a distinctly foreign accent. Hardly able to contain his grin, he turned sharply around to see Fang tangled in her sari, which was ensnared her leg hopelessly, and her staff was tied to the outside edge of her thigh. A minute's struggle freed her from her prison, but Snow wouldn't allow it to go without comment.

"Nice, Fang. Very –"

"Say another word and I swear I'll rip off the reason you think you're a man," Fang scowled, wiping the sweat from her brow. "I don't know what the hell just happened to me, but I never want to do that again. Next time, I'm flying."

"With our magnificent airship?," Snow said, his grin broadening.

"I," she said slowly, seemingly implementing every known method to man of keeping her temper in check, "have a flying eidolon." She grunted in annoyance. "Airships," she mumbled in disbelief. "Dumbass."

Snow let her blow off some steam with her mumbling and cursing for awhile, but soon he lost interest. He was about to ask where the others were when Sazh decided that he really didn't care enough for his lunch to hold onto it at all, and so he shared more of it with the pavement. Fang, upon hearing Sazh, abruptly paused in her speech of why she hated portals and grinned darkly. "I take it our pilot didn't care too much for the ride, yeah?"

Snow shrugged, his mind too preoccupied with other things to partake in her jest. "Heights get to him."

"I'm gonna—oh, hey Hope," Fang said nonchalantly as Hope stumbled through the portal, his face even paler than normal. "You know, you don't look so good."

"Just…just go away, Fang. Please," Hope added, heavily sitting down on a nearby step. He put his head in his hands; feathery hair veiled his fingers. "Light said it shouldn't be that bad…"

"Goes to show she's –" Fang paused mid-sentence when Sazh began retching. "Poor guy. I'm gonna go see how he is." She spun on her now-freed heel and turned around the corner. There was a noise that sounded like liquid being displaced, and then Fang began practicing her uncouth vernacular a second time. "The hell…is this…? Oh, oh shit, it is, isn't it? ….it's all over my sandal!"

Snow chuckled at Fang's distress, while Hope just seemed to grow paler. Snow turned to see if the young boy needed anything, but just as he did so Vanille tumbled through the portal, looking as bright and cheerful as ever, despite the fact that she landed squarely on her rump. "Hey guys!" she smiled, brushing herself off as she stood. "That wasn't as bad as I was expecting. It was pretty neat to see Oerba from so far away!"

Hope blinked at Vanille, his lips searching for words that eluded him. "No, it wasn't. It was horrible."

Vanille frowned, not satisfied by Hope's lack of enthusiasm, but her expression softened when she laid eyes on him. "You know, you don't look so good."

"I didn't notice," Hope mumbled, burying his head further. Vanille clucked disapprovingly to herself before joining Hope's side, her hand moving in comforting, rhythmic circles on his back while she allowed some of her magic to seep into him.

Sazh and Fang were still around the corner, but Fang's shouting and cursing had subsided. It was rather silent on their end, to be honest, but Snow thought little of it. Vanille and Hope sat there wordlessly, Hope lost in concentration as he tried to refrain from copying Sazh's actions while Vanille did what she did best: comforted.

Snow, standing off to the side, alone, began to wonder where Lightning was. It didn't feel right without her, and, he had to admit, he was a little worried. What if she was trying to do some fool's errand on her own in Oerba? What if she was so sick of Snow that she didn't want to face him again? What if she didn't make it through the portal in one piece?

How could they go on without her?

Snow, who had begun to pace, retraced his steps back to the portal opening and peered inside, recalling how he had somewhat envisioned Sazh before he had arrived. Could he do the same for Lightning? Waiting was not something Snow was good at: he wanted to _know _when, and if, she would show up.

He pressed his face against the portal and was surprised to discover that it refused to give. He had believed it'd be a two-way deal, but apparently that was not so. Slightly annoyed, though for no apparent reason, he continued to search for his dearly beloved but saw nothing other than the faint reddish hues of the setting Pulse sun.

"Where are we?" Hope finally spoke, his voice cracking midway. Snow didn't take his eyes from the portal.

"Eden. Sazh said it's the Old Quarters or something like that. I dunno, never been here."

Hope was quiet, but the sound of skin brushing over cloth could still be heard. "It's not what I thought Eden would look like," Hope sighed. A glance in his direction confirmed that he had once again buried his head in his arms. "Are you sure it's Eden?"

"Nope."

"Great."

"You two are getting along pretty well today!" Vanille said cheerfully. "Did you let bygones be bygones?"

"I don't even know what that means," Hope mumbled, and out of the corner of his eye Snow saw Hope's head fall between his knees, which were pressed tightly against his chest. "I think I'm gonna hurl, though."

Snow felt something very solid hit his chest, and his eyes widened when he saw the waves of pink beneath his nose. He heard the squeak of leather being ground together as Lightning's fists tightened a few feet below Snow's head. "Move, Snow," she seethed without so much as a 'hello'. Snow, knowing he was already pushing it, didn't point that out and instead stepped aside rather abashedly, although he did cherish the moment where they touched, no matter how volatile it was.

Lightning glanced around, probably assessing everyone and everything. Her brow furrowed, her frown deepened, and she spun quickly back to stare accusingly at Snow. "Where's Sazh and Fang?"

"Around the corner. Sazh got sick, Fang's helping."

"I bet," Lightning muttered, kneeling by Hope's side. Vanille's lips were down turned at this point, but she quickly reclaimed her typical smile. Lightning lightly grabbed Hope's hair and tugged his face up so she could examine it. He gave her a weak smile, proclaimed that he felt fine, and tried to resume this façade. Lightning, however, asked Vanille if she had any more of a certain Pulse fruit, which she did, and Lightning took it from Vanille's outstretched hand. "I figured out that the leaves help with stomach problems," she told Hope, offering him a dull green leaf. "Tastes horrible, but it'll help."

Hope gingerly accepted Lightning's offering, but peered at it cautiously. "Maybe Sazh should have it. He's already gotten sick—"

"Which means he's got nothing left to lose," Lightning said lightly, gently pushing the leaf towards Hope's mouth. "Eat it."

Hope did as he was commanded, which he didn't seem too happy about. His lips puckered and his eyes watered almost immediately after the greenery was placed into his mouth, and he had considerable difficulty swallowing, but once he did and a few minutes passed the color began to return to his face. Lightning saw this and nodded with satisfaction, standing once again.

She took more time observing their surroundings, and Snow was enraptured by her facial expression. Her eyes were wide, almost thoughtful as she examined each building, her lips moving soundlessly as she thought to herself. Every now and again the corners of her lips would fall, her eyebrows would knit together in puzzlement, and her eyes would scan the area very quickly until she found the answer she sought, which would then ease her back into her back into her thinking. After awhile she announced with a sigh, "Something's not right. This is Eden, the Old Quarters or, more commonly, the Residential Quarters, but…" she shook her head. "It's not how I remember it."

"What do you mean?" Snow asked, earning him a puzzled frown. He'd take that over the angry Lightning any day.

"I mean that it's just not right. When I was here for my initial GC training, I was stationed in that building –" she pointed to the building that both Sazh and Snow had noticed. "—so I got to know this part of town pretty well. It was _never _quiet. There were always people everywhere. GC initiates always occupy the building, too. It looks like it's the afternoon, which means that they should be off of training. _That's _when we'd get our free time, so we should at least be seeing some of the newbies walking around. Instead, there's…nothing. Nobody."

"Looks like a concrete and not-as-friendly version of Pulse," Fang huffed as she emerged from around her corner, Sazh holding on to her shoulders as she helped him towards the others. She noticed Snow looking at her sandaled feet with some disgust, which caused her to raise her left foot and waggle it in the air. "Reason number two for not wearing sandals."

Hope, always unable to contain his curiosity, asked the one question that everybody else didn't want to: "What's the first reason?"

"Dinosaur shit," Fang said promptly, in all seriousness. Sazh rolled his eyes, but Vanille quickly jumped to her friend's defense.

"It's true!" she squealed. "Why do you think I wear boots?"

"Can we _please _get back on topic?" Lightning said, exasperated. Snow nodded in agreement, but stopped when a question flew to his mind.

"What was with that portal?" he asked suddenly, earning groans from most of the group.

"If you hadn't jumped in head-first, you'd know the answer," Lightning growled, not too keen about the distraction.

Sazh, who was now sitting on the ground near Hope, took a deep breath. "Easy, girl. Don't rush in with your claws out. Be nice." Lightning whirled around to glare mightily at him, but Sazh was too sick to really give a damn. "I'll make it easy to understand, Snow. Basically the machine uses electromagnetic energy to rip our atoms apart, one by one, and we go flying through a—well, simply put, it's kinda like a magnetically charged road that we can't see. Right before we land, there's a machine that orders our atoms back together, and _viola! _We're humans again. It's almost the same way the computer terminals work when we ordered supplies on Pulse from Cocoon, except with people."

"But…I saw myself. How could I see myself if…?"

"You didn't actually _see _yourself. Your mind just wasn't able to comprehend what the hell was going on, so it _creates _the perception of you traveling and seeing yourself. I blacked out for the first part," Sazh sighed. "When your atoms are torn apart, then you aren't really a _person, _you know? But they still function how they should, and once your body is recreated all the signals of 'what the hell just happened' get sent through your brain, so your brain creates a hazy image of what may have happened through the…the memories that your atoms have of the travel. All this happens in the split second it takes for us to solidify before exiting the portal."

"You almost sounded smart there for a second, old man," Fang cooed, squatting by Sazh's side. Sazh gave her a weary grin, then allowed his head to fall against her shoulder.

"I don't know if I like the sounds of that," Snow mumbled.

Lightning's hands flew to her hips. "I don't like the sounds of us waiting around here while something's obviously wrong, so if you don't mind, let's get down to business. We need to figure out what's going on and where everybody-"

"Wait!" Vanille cried, shooting up with surprising speed. Her finger pointed up to the top of a nearby building, which was one of the tallest around. "Somebody's up there!"

All eyes snapped to where Vanille was pointing and, sure enough, all pairs of eyes confirmed what she had seen. A lone figure stood there, almost stoically, facing away from them. A small circle hovered above it, dancing about the person's head with little rhyme or reason. From his position, Snow thought the person to be on the short side, but then again Snow _was _pretty far away. But still, the idea that there was somebody else out there, somebody that wasn't just one of the six, sent a thrill of joy through Snow. For a long time he had almost forgotten about the existence of others. Yeah, sure, he talked about saving them, but he had never really thought about what he was saying. It just sounded good at the time.

Now, though, he was faced with indisputable proof that there were others out there, and one was right in front of him. He desperately wanted to speak to them, to once again converse with a personality that wasn't as snarky as Fang's, as annoyingly bubbly as Vanille's, as unpredictable as Lightning's, or as hormonal as Hope's. Of course, the person could always prove to be worse, but that was a possibility that never crossed Snow's mind.

Eyes snapped back to Lightning when she began to charge towards the building while the others still gaped at the long figure standing high above. "What are you doing?" Snow asked, running to catch up.

She cast him a quick glance. "Finding out where everyone is," she stated simply, already eying up the building. "I'm going alone."

"Like hell you are," Snow growled, his long, thundering gait easily catching hers. The others were shouting behind them, but none seemed to feel like tagging along. Instead they just watched, defeated, as Snow and Lightning burst into the building and began their ascent up a murderous flight of stairs.

"Why didn't we just jump up the building?" Snow groaned, his calves beginning to burn after the thirteenth landing.

Lightning grumbled ahead of him. "What would you do if you saw some half-crazed person leap over the side of the building, demanding to know where everyone went?"

Snow pondered the question for a minute. "Which one of us is half-crazed? 'cause if it were you, then I'd run away, as fast as I could. Without a doubt."

"You're digging your hole deeper, Villiers," she snarled, snapping around a corner so quickly that her cape slapped Snow across the face.

"You did that on purpose!"

"Get over it."

"What the hell did I do to you? What more can I do to prove—"

"This isn't the time for that, Snow! Get a grip, and realize that there's more going on here than just you and me!" She had paused at the twentieth landing, her hands tightly gripping the railing as she peered down at Snow. "You continually fail to notice that we're the only ones who have any idea as to what's going to happen to Cocoon. In fact, you _all_ act like it's no big thing. Don't you get it? The fate of Cocoon—of the people of Cocoon—it's all depending on us. But you keep running around like some dumb puppy—"

She lost her words then and frustration overtook her stoic demeanor. Throwing her hands in the air she resumed her two-steps-at-a-time pace and leaped up the next flight in a flash.

Snow was right behind her.

"When will you get that life can't just be about one target? A lot of things go on at once, and you've got to deal with them as they come! You can't be like Vanille and run away from everything all the time!" He grit his teeth through the pain that now seared through his thighs. "We're a team. If something is bothering one of us, then it affects everyone. It affects our performance. We need to fix this, Light!"

"You're right, Snow." She glanced over her shoulder at him, sweat gracing her temples. "We need to fix this now. Would you like the make-up sex here, on the landing?" He heard her sigh irritably. "This can't, and won't, be fixed anytime soon. You don't even get why I'm upset: you think it's all about you hugging that pathetic excuse of Serah that Dysley created. You don't see it!"

His fist pounded against the "27th Floor" sign as he roared in anger. "That's because there _isn't anything to see! _Nothing! Why are you being so damn stubborn about this?"

"Because everything's hinging on it, Snow," she said quietly, suddenly turning to face him as her hand rested against a door. "Now be quiet. We're at the roof access."

"But—"

She shoved a hand over his mouth while simultaneously opening the door with her spare hand. The sunlight pouring through blinded Snow momentarily, and he raised his hands to shield them from the sudden onslaught of light. When his vision was once again restored, he realized that Lightning had already stepped onto the roof, but she was frozen in her steps.

Snow quickly stepped forward, beside Lightning, and saw the sight that he knew had thrown Lightning's mind into disarray.

Standing no more than ten feet away from the pair of them sat a young girl holding a red balloon. It wasn't so much the cuteness of the children's song that she sang, or the way her bright yellow sundress set off her light skin tone that had caused Lightning to pause; rather, it was the girl's cherry-blonde hair that was tied into a ponytail over her shoulder, the way her mouth was upturned into a soft smile and the tiny frame of the child that so closely resembled the very person that forced Snow and Lightning apart. She looked hauntingly like Serah, so much so that Snow feared this to be another ploy of Barthandelus'.

The girl stopped mid-song when she saw Snow approach. Wary eyes settled on he and Lightning, and Snow nearly shivered again at the striking similarities of the child to Serah. Lightning, regaining her composure, squatted down near the ground, a friendly smile on her face. "Hi there," she said kindly, and Snow was taken aback at the stark contrast between this tone and the one she had used earlier on him.

Still cautious, the girl edged away from them, to the opposite side of the roof. Dark blue irises focused on Snow, who must have appeared as a giant, and even Snow could see that she was scared. "I…Momma said not to talk to strangers," the girl stuttered quietly. Snow rubbed his neck and backed away, but Lightning remained where she was.

"That means you're a very smart girl," she said. Cocking her head to the side, she added curiously, "We won't hurt you; we just want to ask a tiny question. My name is Lightning, and this is my friend Snow."

Though nodding slowly, the girl still gripped her balloon tightly, fiddling nervously with the strings. "I'm Teresa," she said shyly, still edging towards the door. "My momma is probably looking for me, though, so…I should go home."

Lightning nodded as well. "Okay, we'll let you go home. But can we ask you our question now?"

Once the door handle to the stairs was firmly in her grasp, Teresa seemed a bit more confident. "Okay," she said slowly, cracking the door open. "But just one!"

"Where is everyone? It's so quiet. We want to find them," Lightning said enthusiastically.

The woman Lightning had become during this moment was so drastically different than any of the other sides of Lightning that Snow had previously seen that he could do nothing but stare at her, dumbfounded. No matter what, Lightning was almost always the cold-hearted soldier or the silent maternal figure, while managing to be the leader and, though Snow was loathe to admit it, she was also essentially the hero of the group, the one the others looked to for strength. Now, though, she had adopted childlike qualities as she spoke to this Serah look-alike: her mouth was slightly opened and upturned, her eyes were soft and gentle, and her voice lilted in a sing-song way as she spoke with the young girl. Of course, Snow admired all these things, but more than that he wondered why she suppressed this side of her when it seemed to come so naturally.

_Why won't she open up?_

Snow was forced back to the situation at hand when the girl pointed out to the west, standing on her tip-toes as she did so. "They're at the party with the Primarch! Momma was gonna take me, but she's not feeling well, so we stayed home and…" The girl frowned and tugged her balloon closer to her. "She's gonna wonder where I am. I have to go home. It was nice talking to you, Miss Lightning and Mister Snow!"

"You too," Lightning smiled as they both watched the girl disappear behind the heavy metal door that was the exit. The gentle patter of little feet echoed throughout the stairwell and they listened to it for a few moments before they settled into silence.

Snow watched Lightning's countenance darken, and once again he saw the demons battling within her, waging a war that he hadn't been witness to since they first landed on Gran Pulse. As he had then, he wished desperately that he could help her, to ease her burdens, but this time not as a friend—he wanted to prove to her that she could count on him, and that he cared for her more deeply than he was ready to admit to.

"Light…?" He said tenderly, stepping nearer to her side. An unsteady hand reached towards her, but she pulled away at the last moment and marched resolutely towards the edge of the building, surveying the west, where the girl had pointed. Snow stood silently behind her, watching her, his heart feeling as if it would burst out of his chest and die at her feet.

"Look," she said, nodding in the direction she had been staring. She was oblivious to the internal struggles of Snow, and he supposed she didn't want to know, anyway. Burying his rising emotions, he joined her once more and peered out over the edge.

"Looks like a hell of a party," Snow said quietly, hardly able to stand the sight of Lightning in his peripheral vision. She was so close, but she wouldn't let him any closer…

"There are thousands of people there…" she continued, her eyes narrowing. "Raines has to be there, too. The Calvary must not have arrived yet, or else it'd be pandemonium."

"What should we do?" She was always the one with the plan, always the one to focus on the target. Why couldn't she focus on _him?_

She peered over the edge of the building, down to the concrete ground below. "Meet up with Sazh and the others, tell them what's going on. We go from there."

Snow, not even sure what it was that he had seen, nodded, took the small device from Lightning, and hurled himself over the edge of the building, closely behind Lightning. Right before landing he hit the button on top of the mechanism and felt a strange charge of electricity course through him when his fall was cradled by some sort of static electricity. His body floated for a moment while he struggled to free himself from the landing device, and once he did he handed the device back to Lightning, his hand lingering over hers when he did so. She harshly snapped her hand back and jogged towards the group, leaving Snow alone with his thoughts while he walked slowly behind.

_Is this it? Is this the end? After everything, she's just going to act this way towards me? I've apologized already! I told her what happened, what was going on, and she's just…acting like…I don't even know what she's acting like! What's going on?_

_What do I do if she leaves me? _

_She can't leave me._

_I need her here._

_She's…_

_She's my Focus. She keeps me going. Without her…I'd lose whatever hope I have for the future._

"Hello? You with us, big guy?"

Snow shook his head vigorously and found Fang hovering inches away from his face, her index finger poking his forehead. "You gonna listen to Sunshine, or do we have to fill you in again later?"

"Oh, uh…" Snow's fingers automatically found his headband. "I'm listening, sorry."

Fang gave him a once-over before spinning on her heel and backing up parallel with Snow. "You're both acting weird. All this tension is stressing me out," she whispered. "Kiss and make up, dammit."

"Trying. Not working."

"All right everyone," Lightning began, kneeling to the ground. She pulled a paper from her back, looked at it briefly, and turned it over. From what Snow could see, it looked like a—

"Where'd you get a map of Pulse?" Fang asked sharply.

"The dwelling we stayed in on the first night in Oerba," Lightning responded casually, grabbing a pen from somewhere within the depths of her pack. She quickly sketched out several rectangles of various shapes and sizes, and after a few minutes she sat back and admired her work.

"Art definitely wasn't your strong point," Sazh smirked, supporting himself on his knees. Lightning scowled at him before drawing a large 'X' on the map.

"This is where we are," she said, her mouth tight. "This," she drew another 'X' some distance away from the first, "is where we need to be."

"What's there?" Hope asked, settling in between Lightning and Vanille to observe the former's handiwork. His eyes leveled with Lightning's while she answered.

"That's where everyone is. According to what we heard, there's some sort of…of party or something going on there. The Primarch is there, along with thousands of people. We have to get there, fast, before something happens."

Vanille scooted closer to the map, chewing nervously on her lip. "What do you think will happen?"

With a deep frown, Lightning admitted that she didn't know. "What's obvious is that Dysley is planning something. Raines is the new Primarch. That means that the Calvary is out for blood. If the Calvary figure out that it's…Orphan or whatever that's pulling the strings, then they're going to go after Orphan, which is exactly what Barthandelus wants. We have to stop them."

"Doesn't Bartandelus want everyone dead?" Fang said slowly. "Y'know, as some sort of sacrifice? If that's the case, then wouldn't this be a prime time to start that whole slaughtering process? There's a huge crowd of people, all in one spot. If Barthandelus doesn't kill them, then they're going to get caught in the crossfire of the Calvary and Raines."

Lightning nodded, mostly to herself. "That's what I'm afraid of. We've got to get everyone out of there, but first we should consider getting to Raines. If we make ourselves visible before finding him, then we risk him escaping."

"Wait, wait, wait," Sazh interrupted, leaning over the map. "We've got a long distance to cover before getting to Raines. What if the Calvary arrives before we get there? It's gonna take awhile, after all."

"If the Calvary gets to Raines first, then they'll kill him. Whether he chooses to die or Rygdea simply does it himself is anyone's guess. Anyway, if that's the case, then we work on getting the people out of the area. Something bad'll happen, and they don't need to be there for it."

"How are we gonna get them out?" Hope asked, his eyes once more raising to Lightning.

"Simple," Snow said, stealing Hope's attention away. "We're l'Cie. That'll scare the shit out of everyone."

Everyone nodded in agreement at that.

"Now, how are we getting there? If you're map is scaled right, then I sure as hell don't want to walk that far."

Lightning stood, a small smile on her lips. "Like Snow said: we're l'Cie. We travel in style." At that a bright pink light erupted from her chest, and Lightning's hand clasped between her breasts. She bowed her head and in a quiet, almost otherworldly voice she uttered Odin's name.

Snow had never before seen Lightning's eidolon: since landing on Pulse, Lightning had relied solely on her swordplay and her magical abilities to win her victories, never her summons. Snow secretly wondered if she feared the eidolon would turn on her, and so for that reason she refused to rely on its strength, but he would never be sure. Either way, when he witnessed Odin appear within the depths of crystals that shot from the ground and saw the towering form of the intimidating killer, and when he felt the shock wave of energy released by the being, he was somewhat intimidated.

Lightning leaped high into the air almost instinctively before the creature released its energy, and once the wave passed the timing was so that she twisted and rocketed head-first towards the ground. Odin caught her and flipped her back into the air, where Lightning rolled and righted herself before landing elegantly before the summon. With a single word from Lightning, Odin transformed beautifully into a magnificent steed that Lightning quickly clambered onto.

Everyone stared in awe at the two for a moment while Lightning adjusted the sheath for her gunblade. Fang quickly shook herself out of it and mumbled something about show-offs. Snow just shook his head and felt jealous of the dumb horse.

"We'll probably only need three eidolons. No point getting carried away with the summons. Snow, yours is a motorcycle, right? That means two can probably ride it. Fang, you can fit the other two on Bahamut without a problem. Figure out who goes with who, and then we'll prepare to leave."

"I'm with Snow," Sazh said immediately, crawling towards Snow's feet.

Fang seemed offended. "What? Why not with me?"

Sazh blinked up at Fang. "Your eidolon is a dragon. It flies. In the open air. Plus, I sure as hell would rather ride a motorcycle made out of two women than fly on an obviously male dragon."

"Pansy," Fang mumbled, gathering the two younger ones with her arms. They stood off to a distance, signaling to Lightning that they were ready.

"All right. Don't engage the enemy unless I give the signal—a fireball to the sky. We need to see what's going on before we rush in like madmen. Got it?"

"You got it, boss," Fang saluted.

"I'll follow you, Light," Snow said.

"I'll follow Snow," Sazh added.

Lightning rolled her eyes while Odin shuffled its hooves impatiently, his shining eyes looking down upon the two men. "Ready to go?"

Snow and Fang asked for a moment as they summoned their eidolons. Hope and Snow were already too familiar with Bahamut, so they paid little attention as the dragon was called forth from the depths of another dimension. All eyes – specifically the male ones – were on Snow as he summoned Shiva. He recalled that only Fang had been present to see the summon, so the others were in for an interesting show.

He felt a distantly familiar coolness within his veins, almost as if his blood were beginning to freeze over within his veins. It wasn't all throughout his body, though; it was concentrated in his forearm, the one that bore his brand. It shot down until it was directly beneath the surface of his skin, on the palm of his hand. Using a great burst of energy the cold exited his body and coalesced into a small ice crystal that he threw into the air and caught with his other hand, crushing it almost immediately after catching it. He felt a grin spread across his face as a coveted thrum of power coursed through him, and, knowing it needed to be released, Snow called Shiva's name. The shards flew from his hand and hovered a few feet away, liquefying while a strange symbol appeared in its depths. Sazh gasped openly when the outlines of two women appeared, spinning slowly around the outer rim of the aquatic sphere. The two sisters shot from the ball and quickly took shape, flanking Snow.

Sazh was already beside himself, and Lightning looked beyond displeased. His grin growing, Snow made a fist in the air and said, "Show 'em how it's done!"

Heeding his words, the ice eidolons quickly joined hands and began to fuse together to form a motorcycle. By this point, Sazh's eyes were wide in wonder and Lightning seemed pissed off beyond belief.

"Disgusting," she spat, and, reacting to her tone, Odin reared back and snorted in Snow's general direction.

"They picked him, Sunshine," Fang smirked, helping Hope mount her dragon. "Don't blame Snow for it."

"Who the hell would have imagined that? Why are the two sisters—oh, for shit's sake, forget I asked," she mumbled, her fingers knotting into Odin's mane.

At this point Sazh, who was already on the motorcycle behind Snow, leaned forward and whispered into Snow's ear, "She's jealous."

"What'd you say?" Lightning hissed, urging Odin forward until his foreleg was pressed uncomfortably against Sazh's knee. Her eyes would have burned holes into Barthandelus' head, were he present.

"I…I said…I said 'go us!'"

"Really, Sazh? That's the best you could do?"

"Shut your damn mouth, Trench!"

"But, really, that was horrible—"

"Be quiet, both of you!" Lightning's head snapped back to the general direction of where they needed to be heading. Her eyes were narrowed in concentration, and a few moments later she said urgently, "I hear Raines' voice." Snow strained his ears, but it didn't take long for him to pick out the distinctly monotonous tones of Raines' voice. "We need to leave, now!" And, without another word, she was galloping off towards the setting sun. The Shiva Cycle, after a moment of shocked apathy, was now zooming behind her, a thin sheen of ice trailing behind it. Fang disappeared into the sky with the youngest members of the group.

Snow watched the blur of Odin's legs pound over the pavement and watched in wonder as the eidolon easily cracked the ground beneath its feet with its powerful gait. It wasn't a beautiful horse, now that Snow really looked at it: if anything, it was almost ghastly. Its body seemed part mechanical, part skeletal, part man and horse, creating an odd combination of elements that was almost too much to behold. It emanated power and energy, though, and judging by the looks of it, Odin would have no issue destroying any who dared threaten its l'Cie master.

In a way he was glad Odin had chosen Lightning. If she wouldn't allow Snow to protect her, then at least this beast could do the job.

But, then again, she never really relied on Odin, either, did she?

With a sigh Snow leaned into the handlebars of his motorcycle and shifted gears on the bike. Sazh was humming happily behind him, his fingers tapping the bike in what Snow knew to be an inappropriate spot, which brought a slight smile back to Snow's lips. At least somebody was enjoying themselves…

Lightning suddenly charged up the sides of the building, the hooves of Odin glowing with electrical energy that allowed him to pull off such a gravity-defying stunt. Not wanting to be outdone, Snow yanked the handlebars back, earning a cry of alarm from Sazh as the bike quickly lifted into the air and supported itself on roads made from ice.

A heavy _thump _above him signified that Lightning had landed, and a similar noise a few moments later announced Snow's arrival as well. Lightning was sitting high in Odin's saddle, gazing out to the city beyond. Sazh and Snow pulled up near her to observe the sight she was now taking in.

Snow gasped. They were literally a hundred feet above and away from a huge racetrack, and Raines' face was plastered all over large television screens.

"That was fast," Sazh said, scratching his chin.

"Our eidolons are fast," Lightning shrugged, still taking in the sights.

"Why the hell didn't we use them to travel on Pulse?"

"Walking seemed like a better option at the time."

"Shittiest reason ever."

"Why's there a race going on?" Lightning asked quietly, her eyes barely even blinking, even when Fang swooped down on Bahamut behind them. Hope was holding on to Vanille's waist with a deathly strong grip, his eyes tightly shut. "What is Raines doing?"

Fang casually glanced out towards the race. "Nobody ever knows what you Cocoon people are doing, especially when it comes to your Primarchs. Let's just agree that you're all crazy and go from there, yeah?"

"He's planning something, Fang. That's the only reason for all this…"

"Well, if this is part of his grand scheme, then we should destroy it, don't you think?" Fang grinned, brushing stray strands of hair from her eyes. "No point letting these shenanigans carry on."

"What if that's what he wants us to do?" Vanille queried, gently trying to pry Hope's hands away from her abdomen. It was a battle that she quickly lost.

Sazh sighed sadly and removed himself from the back of the motorcycle. "Nobody has any idea what's going on. We've been manipulated through this whole damn mess. We don't know what we're supposed to do, so let's do what we do best: let's go crash this party."

Snow looked over to Lightning, waiting for her response. None came, so he asked timidly, "Well? What do you think, Light?"

She turned to face him, her eyes bright and mischievous. Without a word she kicked Odin's sides and together they leaped from the building, soaring high and far from its rooftop and landed easily on the track, far behind the racers and cameras.

While the others scrambled to summon their own eidolons, and while Fang and Snow prepared to follow after, there was a strange drum of excitement that coursed through them. They knew that their adventure would soon be drawing to an end, that they could soon resume their normal lives, though of course with a few new friends. They knew that what immediately awaited them would be the challenge of a lifetime, and that they'd have to rely on each other more than ever before in order to make it through.

Most of all, though, they were pretty damn excited to be taking their eidolons onto a racecourse in order to scare the living hell out of everyone.

Snow, though, found that his mind wasn't entirely focused on the task at hand, for he had been the only one to witness the grin that spread across Lightning's lips as she looked at him and jumped from the building.


	19. Destruction and Despair

**Si's Note: **Two weeks! Yessss. This would have been out sooner, but we got a puppy (a German Shepherd), and whenever I'd start to write it seems like he'd think it was the perfect time to piss on the carpet. Damn dog.

Anyway, please review! It's a little discouraging to see that, now that I have time to write more, fewer people are reviewing. I do hope that changes...

* * *

Wind whistled past her ears, slicing at her cheeks and twirling its fingers through Lightning's hair as it went. She was deafened by the sound, but that was irrelevant: she was being driven purely by instinct by this point: she didn't need her ears now. The knowledge of where to go and what she had to do had somehow been instilled within her, and she had the intention of seeing her divinely-inspired plan through to the end.

Odin's hooves were galloping in mid-air, a stream of rose petals following in his wake. Lightning, seeing the race track draw nearer, dug her knees into Odin's sides and prepared for a potentially rough landing. The precautionary measures were needless, though, as he lightly touched down on the glowing racetrack, far behind the other racers and cameras.

She knew she was grinning, but she couldn't help herself: the knowledge that this would be the final stretch of their journey, that soon they'd no longer be cursed with their brands that seemed seconds away from turning them into monsters, that she was in familiar territory and about to battle against familiar opponents…it was surreal, almost, to imagine. She was in total control of the situation once more. She wouldn't have to rely on anyone else; just herself and her own knowledge.

As she drew Odin's blades nearer to her sides, she glanced over the surrounding area with interest, taking in the details and running through possible scenarios in her head. With little thought she determined that joining the race, acting like they were meant to be there and that it was all part of the show, would be the best option. The people would be thrilled at the sight, and maybe they could get to Raines a bit easier that way. So long as nobody screwed up, they would be able to traverse the race track quickly and jump off at their exit before their identities were discovered. It was a plan full of risks, but they had been in worse situations before. Even if it failed, there would be other options available to them.

Serenity of the likes she hadn't before been introduced to possessed her body. Complete peace overtook her when she prepared herself for the trial ahead. Somehow, she knew she would succeed in this task. No doubts troubled her mind, and she was completely consumed by the task before her: other thoughts were not permitted to trouble her. She wondered if this was a function of her own body, or if somehow Barthandelus was even manipulating her thoughts, but even that failed to concern her, just like the little girl on the roof didn't ring any alarm bells, despite the terribly coincidental similarities between her and Lightning's younger counterpart. If he was playing puppeteer with all these events, then she didn't particularly mind.

"I haven't seen you grin like that since you ran into battle against Alexander," Snow said lightly, drawing his Shiva Cycle near to Lightning.

Her attention snapped to him. How had she failed to hear him approach?

Why did that calm disappear from her so quickly?

"Point?" Lightning asked, a certain edginess enfolding her voice.

"No real point," Snow shrugged, sitting lazily back in the cycle. "I just enjoy seeing it. It's a rare sight on you."

Why were her thoughts suddenly in disarray? She wanted that clarity back, the serenity. It distracted her; consumed her. This, on the other hand, brought the crushing reality back: soon Serah would return, and when she did a choice would have to be made, and Lightning was certain it wouldn't be in her favor.

A glance over her shoulder confirmed that the others were almost all gathered behind her. With a shake of her head she tried to clear her thoughts, but when it failed she focused intently on the image of Raines plastered on all the screens throughout the race course. _That's better, _she thought as the burning intensity to destroy the mastermind behind Raines' ascension claimed her again. The peace from before had yet to return, and she had to admit that she desperately desired it to come back, even if it was a ploy of Dysley's. Anything was better than being sidetracked by the giant to her right.

Fang swooped down to Lightning's left. "Plan?"

Another shrug from Lightning was sent Fang's way. "Get to Raines without alerting them to who, or what, we are."

"And if that fails?" Fang cocked an eyebrow towards the sky at Snow's words, and Lightning didn't blame her. Usually he never asked what Plan B was.

Lightning had to admit that, for the first time, she didn't have a Plan B. Of course he'd ask for it when she didn't have one crafted…

"We play it by ear," she said, smiling softly at nothing in particular. Not having a carefully constructed blueprint of a plan-of-attack was…freeing, almost. It sparked her imaginative side, which was something that hadn't seen much use in many years. "We're heroes. Heroes don't need plans."

She dug her heels in and leaned into Odin's armored neck, urging him forward by gently squeezing his sides with her thighs. No words needed to be spoken between the two: they had an unearthly bond that allowed her wishes to be his response, and so, with only the slightest of movements he would perform any complex maneuvers that Lightning desired with little fuss.

Together they charged down the racetrack just as Raines snapped his fingers for the race to begin. The drivers of the velocycles burst into motion, screaming through the racetrack at speeds that were incredible to those looking on.

Lightning, far behind, felt glee bubbling within her.

As fast as they were, she was faster.

Soon she caught up with the cyclist furthest behind. He glanced at her quickly, confusion clouding his vision. Lightning just lowered her head and Odin responded with another burst of speed and a soaring leap that took them high into the air, far above the other racers. Once again his hooves met naught but thin air, and she looked down below at the drivers, noting that she was almost directly above the man in first place. He was only a tiny speck, but she still could see him look up and, she imagined, he was gaping openly at the sight of a half-mechanical horse flying hundreds of feet above him. His distraction cost him, however, as he quickly lost control of his bike, which flipped over itself and flew perilously close to the edge.

_One less enemy to be concerned about—no, what's he doing? What the hell is Snow doing?_

Snow, in all his heroic stupidity, had charged forward with his own motorcycle. Lightning watched as he commanded the two sisters to separate, which they did, and together the two ice queens caught the careening, soon-to-be-dead man in their cold grasp. Snow, with a surprisingly agile jump, had landed neatly on the side of the bike. She could hear his annoyingly cocky voice say "Close call," and after that it was nearly impossible to miss his war cry of "And the hero saves the day!"

_Stupid ass, stupid ass, stupid ass…_

Of course he'd have to wave to the crowd. Certainly, the camera would have to zoom in on this self-proclaimed hero while he thanked the crowd for cheering for him. Why would it _miss _the brand so clearly and obviously displayed on the moron's forearm? And then, surely, the crowd would all be terrified by the sight of this Pulse l'Cie, who they had cheered for two seconds earlier, and they'd all start to panic…

"Prob'ly should've covered that."

_Why the hell do I care for that bumbling, stupid, idiotic, ass-wipe of a fu—_

The alarms sounded and a man came over the PA system announcing that intruders were on the racetrack and that they were confirmed Pulse l'Cie. Now their way to Raines would surely be blocked, and they'd have to make shit up as they went, because Plan A sure as hell wouldn't work out.

She watched Snow with considerable wrath as he took off on the track below, taunting the racers to catch him even while they a trail of bullets followed his path. He drove beneath a bridge where Hope had been patiently waiting, probably having foresaw something along these lines occurring, and when Snow passed by Hope jumped down to the part of the track where Snow had just traveled.

Lightning's heart nearly collided with her ribcage when she saw one cyclist stop suddenly mere inches from Hope's face. Hope, not even fazed, greeted the man with a grin and a cheerful "Hi there!"

The man tried to attack Hope, but soon Alexander fell from the sky above onto the enemy that tried to suppress Hope, and instead the man was flattened. With great pride Lightning watched as Hope commanded Alexander to cut off the other attackers; no fear was evident in the young man.

She realized that she was still in the air, being rather ineffective while the battle raged on below. Immediately upon this realization she began her descent, and as she touched down Hope's blockade sent one cyclist careening down the track. He barely missed Snow, who called out "I think we have a winner!"

Not entirely sure what was going on, Lightning took a moment to survey what was occurring on behind her. She saw that Snow was looking directly at her, waiting on her next action. Her head snapped back forward to gather her thoughts, and a split second later she gave a simple command: "Now!"

Odin transformed back into his humanoid shape, and as he did so Lightning leaped into the air. As gravity took over again, she took hold of Odin's outstretched hand and, using the otherworldly powers he was granted, he swung her far down the track, back towards Snow. She snapped her gun out of its sleeve and directed a bullet at one rider, knocking his now-lifeless form off the bike. The bike quickly approached, and as it did she switched her gun out for a blade and dug it into the vehicle, trying to steady herself. Gunshots were bouncing off the hard metal of the velocycle, and Lightning tried to hide her body behind the front of it, waiting patiently until her attacker came closer. When he did, she leaped from one bike to the next, digging her sword into the front end yet again.

"You're dead!" the man called out, reaching for a full clip for his gun.

"You first!" Lightning snarled back, grabbing hold of his arm and pulling him, with all her strength, from his seat and tossing him towards the ground far below. Lightning twisted herself into the formerly occupied seat, and it was at that point Fang flew by Lightning's side, laughing at what she had just seen transpire before her eyes.

Another rider rode between the two women, shooting mercilessly at Lightning. She shot back, but the man tapered down his speed to avoid the gunfire. Fang fixed the man's lack of deadness by bashing his skull with Bahamut's wing. She was still chuckling merrily when Lightning turned to her other side just in time to see yet another attacker trying to ram Lightning off the road. Lightning countered and won the short-lived battle.

On her velocycle Lightning continued in the direction of where Vanille stood with Hecatoncheir. She wasn't surprised to see that the young girl who wasn't particularly fond of fighting was pretty much getting clobbered by the security forces that had arrived on the scene.

Lightning's eyes quickly ripped to a piece of wreckage that fell from the air. The cycle was too clumsy, and her reaction too late: the bike collided with the metallic junk and Lightning, at the last moment, ducked out from the bike. She free-fell through the air, down, down, and tried to right herself. She could not, and so she called yet again for her trusted eidolon, who appeared quickly below and caught her just as fast. As she settled back into her seat she saw, out of the corner of her eyes, that Vanille's eidolon was no longer present, and she now sat with Sazh in the car.

Leaping over wreckage and foes alike, Odin cleared a majority of the obstacles facing their path. As they two began their descent once more to the ground, Lightning cast her eyes about her and saw the multitude of enemies surrounding them. On horseback it would be suicide to try and take them all on at once—even if the horse _was _a warhorse like Odin. If they surrounded her, it could end badly…

Sensing her thoughts, Odin transformed again into its other form and together they landed, blades drawn, and began their assault. Lightning took the lead and swung her gunblade to and fro, striking someone with each jerk of her arm. At the last moment she spied a ship tumbling through the air, preparing to land squarely where she stood, and it was then that Odin once again came to her aid: with powerful arms he lifted the ship, earning Lightning enough time to swing onto an upraised arm. Odin leaped from beneath the ship's shadow, tossing Lightning over his shoulder and when she landed she was on horseback yet again.

She shielded her eyes as Phoenix awoke in the sky high above, shedding its light on the damage the six l'Cie had inflicted upon the celebratory event. Lightning, staring at the fal'Cie that she had forgotten about while traversing the natural landscapes of Cocoon, witnessed a large shadow pass over the fake sun. Surprised, her attention snapped forward as Odin reared, and before the warmech flying overhead could land she already held Odin's blades at the ready.

Odin snorted. Both of them were prepared for this fight.

No, she was more than prepared—she _craved _a battle.

She would not lose.

* * *

Just as the fight against the warmech was wrapping up, distant, thunderous booms ricocheted off of metallic and concrete buildings alike. Snow, Vanille, and the others drew to her side as Lightning's foe fell to the ground, defeated. None bothered to congratulate her on her victory; all were straining their ears, trying to identify what it was they heard. Lightning asked the question that was on everyone's mind: "What's that sound?"

No answers came for a long stretch of time. The idea of stepping into a warzone where they knew nothing about what they were about to face was slightly intimidating, even to Lightning. What was it that was making such a racket? Was the Cavalry bombing Eden? Was Raines beginning the process of sacrificing the populace? Had the city gone mad by the appearance of the l'Cie?

Snow stepped to the fore when an explosion rocked one of the top stories of a not-too-distant building. "What is going _on _out there?" he asked to no one in particular, his eyes locked on the ball of flames that shot towards the sky. Hope, only a few inches before Lightning, replied.

"Looks like the Calvary's made their move," he said, clenching his fists.

"No, there's more to it than that," Sazh said, his voice grim. Lightning watched as the old man picked up an earpiece and held it near his own ear, a deep frown forming on his lips. "They're sayin' that Eden's crawling with Pulse nasties…"

"Fresh off the Ark, I'd wager," Fang said, her hands on her hips.

"This is outta control! What'll happen to Cocoon?"

"It's all-out war," Lightning conjectured, walking forward to view the same sight as Snow.

Hope shuffled his feet behind her. "Did we cause this by coming back?" A slight pause. "Barthandelus' perdiction…it's all coming true!" At that everyone turned to face the eerily perceptive young boy. Snow and Lightning exchanged quick glances.

Hope _was _right. Dysley had been correct with everything thus far. What if the sacrifice…?

"Well, his future stops right here," Snow said, forming a fist before his chest. "We're the ones who decide what happens next."

"So let's get moving!" Vanille added. Everyone agreed.

With no more words to share all six fell into a tight formation, making their way cautiously, but quickly, forward, towards the sounds of battle that were becoming more audible with each step. Lightning, Snow, and Hope were in the lead while Fang and Sazh held up the rear. Vanille kept her eyes glued on the sidelines, prepared to announce the sudden arrival of anyone, or anything, that tried to flank them.

More than once Lightning felt Snow's eyes land on her, and more than once his arm brushed against hers. His proximity was unnerving, and it sent her thoughts far from the battle at hand. She remembered how, just minutes before, they had stood alone on the rooftop overlooking the grand city of Eden. She recalled feeling his distress; she also reminded herself of her own desire to draw near to him when he approached her. Of course she didn't allow herself such a luxury: she hadn't really forgiven him for what he did on the bridge, even though he had apologized and explained himself…

Why didn't she believe him? He was sincere with his words to her, she knew that. Despite her accusations, Snow wasn't a liar. No, he was too stupid and innocent to pull off a successful, believable lie. So, she knew he was telling the truth…why, then, did she refuse to allow herself to accept that? Why was she forcing herself to believe that Snow wanted to be with Serah? Why was she telling herself that Snow just didn't realize what he wanted?

Maybe…could Snow be right? Was she a coward? Was she unable to face the facts: was she too afraid of facing Serah in the end?

"Light, enemies right ahead," Snow said in a low voice. Her mind reeled back to the situation at hand, and she gave a simple nod of thanks to Snow for alerting her to the problem.

A flying fiend was swooping at them from high above, unlacing its claws in an attempt to snatch at any limbs that were carelessly left about. Lightning watched its path for a moment and veered quickly to the right, the others following suit as she employed her basic evasive maneuvers. The monster roared in irritation but was too lazy to really do anything about the situation, so instead it continued flying in the direction it had been going.

"Running from a fight? I didn't think she had it in her," Fang cajoled behind her. As she ran, Lightning aimed her middle finger high in the air. Fang got the point.

They slowed to a complete stop as they approached the narrow track arranged in such a way that it appeared like a spider-web. They were high in the air, suspended on thin wires that didn't seem like they'd hold the weight of four adults and two teens. Sazh slowly tiptoed forward and peered over the edge of where they currently stood.

"Why the hell does my fear of heights continually come back to bite me in the ass?" he snarled, looking to Lightning as if this was all her fault. "Every single place we go to has the threat of me falling to my death, and I'm just supposed to be okay with that or else I get slapped across my damn face. Why, I ask you?"

Fang put her hands on Sazh's shoulders. "Stop being a pussy and go, old man," she teased, lightly pressing him forward.

"I ain't no pussy! I just don't like heights! It's a perfectly logical and life-preserving fear!"

"We don't have time for this!" Lightning stepped lightly onto the supports, then tested them by jumping up and down several times. "It's fine; they barely move. Let's go."

"Wait, wait, wait," Fang said, pushing Snow away just as he was about to jump onto the walkway himself. "This looks like a puzzle to me. Lots of paths, only one that leads to the end, y'know?"

"No," Lightning said, "I don't."

"Yes, you do, so stop being difficult," Fang said sternly. "Are you sure you even know the right way? If you take a wrong turn, we could get ambushed by the hundreds of big flying things that keep swarming through the air, looking for a tasty meal. We don't have the time for that."

"I think I can figure it out, Fang."

"I think I can, too. Why not let me take the lead?"

"You'll get us lost."

"Like hell I will!"

"I'm not having this debate."

"I'm taking the lead. You're not gonna keep me from my shining moment forever."

"Fine," Lightning said, irritated beyond belief. "Two parties. One goes with you, the other me. Whoever reaches the end first gets to lead the way until we get to Barthandelus."

"Is this a bet?"

"It's a way to make you shut up."

"I accept."

"I'm with Light," Snow and Hope said automatically. Sazh and Vanille glared coolly at them from their spots.

"Thanks, Trench," Sazh muttered bitterly. "I'm gonna be on this damn circuit for hours."

Lightning wasn't sure, but she swore she heard Vanille muttering "Damn, damn, triple damn," under her breath before speaking up. "Don't you guys think we should travel together?"

"Nope," Fang grinned, taking the path that led to the right. Lightning shook her head and motioned for Snow and Hope to follow. Vanille and Sazh sulked behind Fang.

Snow scratched his neck casually. "You sure this is the right way?"

"Fang's an idiot," Lightning announced, her eyes scanning the sky. "Most of the paths will lead to the finish—I saw that much from the rooftop over the track. The path we're taking, though, is the shortest."

"I knew I picked the right person to follow," Hope grinned, his boomerang held tightly within his grasp as he jogged behind the other two.

"You and Fang," Snow huffed behind her, "don't get along well, huh?"

"They're too much alike," Hope offered, earning him a dangerous scowl from Lightning.

"True enough," Snow said. "Both stubborn, always thinking they're right, totally unable to accept anybody else's viewpoint on anything—"

"Both are horrible in the mornings," Hope threw in, earning him another angry glare.

"Since when have you two been on such good terms?"

"Sometimes you just gotta find things you have in common," Snow shrugged with a devilish smirk.

Lightning frowned ahead of them. "Fang's an ass, but that doesn't mean I hate her."

"Just intensely dislike?"

"No."

"What about Vanille?" Hope said, his voice bright despite the ominous shadow that hovered over them. Lightning decided to dodge that beastie, too, just to ensure she arrived before Fang.

Lightning reached behind her and placed her hand over her gunblade, just in case. "Nice enough," she said.

"And Sazh?"

"Why am I being asked this? We have bigger things to deal with!" She said sharply.

She couldn't see it, but she knew Hope was unhappy behind her. "Sorry," he said quietly in a hurt tone.

_He's probably just looking for a distraction. Way to ruin the mood. _She tried to think of a way to rectify the situation, but could think of nothing other than answering the question itself.

"Sazh is a perverted old man, but if you can get past that he's not so bad," she said, throwing a quick smile back at Hope, wishing that it would bring his mood back up.

It worked.

The rest of the way was relatively smooth going, and they only ran into a Pulse beast once. The battle took longer than Lightning cared for without the aid of the others, but it still fell to their might after a few minutes of mindless attacking. Eventually they came to the end of the track, where the narrow path expanded into a large half-moon shape that dropped off suddenly at the end. Hope peeked over the edge and said that, far below, there appeared to be a road or something, but it was quite a fall to get there.

Snow stood with his hands over his eyes, searching for Fang. "She's way the hell out there," he said, turning back to smile at Lightning. "It'll be a few minutes."

Lightning nodded and took a seat at one end of the platform. She saw Hope nod to Snow, rather awkwardly, and then the younger boy took a seat opposite of Lightning at the far end of the half-moon section of track. Snow cocked his head at Hope, rubbed his arm, then turned and walked slowly towards Lightning, his head bowed timidly.

Without asking he took a seat at her side, resting his elbow on a raised knee as he looked out to the world of Eden beyond. "Strange, being back on Cocoon, huh?"

Lightning nodded, feeling the familiar discomfort of being close to him creep back into her body. She enjoyed his presence and loathed it all at once.

When did she come to loathe it?

Was it really loathing, or was it more along the lines of…fear?

"When this is all over," Snow continued, his eyes fixed on a distant building, "what will you do?"

She was quiet for awhile as she contemplated her options. It was doubtful that the people of Cocoon would receive her well, after everything that had transpired, so remaining among that populace was unlikely. Even if they did welcome them back, how could she rejoin a populace that so readily wanted them to die? The memory of that would be forever in her mind, and she doubted any new friendships could be formed. She'd forever wonder if, at the time of the Purge, the individual thought that the deaths of all those in Bodhum were justified.

No, staying among the people simply wouldn't do.

So, then, her only option was leaving. Perhaps she'd go with Fang and Vanille back to Oerba?

She told this thought to Snow without really thinking about it, and watched as the corners of his lips drooped. "Oh…you're going with them?"

"Maybe," Lightning shrugged. "I haven't really gotten that far in my planning."

"What if you were asked to stay?" he said lightly, his eyes flickering in her direction. Lightning watched him for a moment, piecing together what it was that he really implied.

Stay with Snow. Oh, how tempting the thought was…

But staying with Snow…what would that do to Serah? What would happen to her?

Her flesh desired it, her heart was torn, and her mind said 'no'. Everywhere she turned there was a blockade, and nothing within her was able to help her overcome it.

"There's no reason for me to stay," she said, noting the unintentional ice in her own voice. Snow winced and his head dropped, his spirit broken.

"No reason, huh?" He whispered, shadows claiming his eyes. "None at all?"

Lightning said nothing. Her vocal cords refused to allow her to utter the denial that her mind demanded she say.

"Not even Hope?"

"He has his dad to go home to," Lightning managed.

"Sazh?"

"He's got Dajh."

"And what about me?"

Lightning stood after spying Fang, Sazh, and Vanille approaching. "You have Serah," she stated flatly, turning away when Snow stood angrily to protest.

Fang began tossing excuses left and right about why she lost, but Lightning was no longer in the mood to play along. She held up her hand to silence her and then motioned for them all to join her at the edge, where she stood. It took a minute for everyone to gather, and in that moment her mind was travelling a hundred miles an hour.

She knew what Snow wanted her to say. It'd be so easy to brush over all her fears and worries and say that she'd be with him. It'd be easy, now, to forget about Serah when she wasn't here. So easy to assuage Snow's worries and her own with simples lies and false hope, but she had to take a page from Sazh's book and apply it to her own life: she couldn't cling to false hopes anymore. She had to face reality.

Someone was going to get hurt. She wanted it to be her. She didn't want Serah to return to heartbreak.

That was her reality.

She was to live to ensure her sister's happiness. Her mind, her consciousness, would not allow anything other than that. It was easy for Snow to forget about Serah, but Serah was Lightning's blood. She was Lightning's _sister. _The only family left. She could not, would not, hurt her.

She could, though, hurt herself. She would break her own heart, all for Serah's sake.

Her eyes remained shut, damming the tears back that threatened to spring forth, while the others gathered behind her. When she felt all five of their presences, she swallowed hard and opened her eyes, her face like stone.

Sazh was by her side, his arms folded and looking over the edge. "Shit, man, no way. I'm not doing this. I've had enough. This damn devil," he jerked a thumb towards Lightning, "is finding ways to pay me back for that stupid towel, I know it!"

Vanille was on her hands and knees, oblivious to the older man's rant. "If only we could fly!"

Fang, perhaps knowing that something wasn't quite right, nudged Lightning sharply, nodding towards Vanille. Lightning nodded and stepped forward, digging through her pockets until she found what she sought, thankful for her ability to distance personal problems from battle.

"We can jump," she said, handing Vanille the same device that she had given Snow earlier. It was infused with AMP technology and would protect them from a death-inducing fall, no matter the height.

Lightning didn't wait for a reply. Anxious to return to battle, she was the first to leap from the high platform.

Once more the wind rushed past her, screaming into her ear, forcing her thoughts away from the depressing truth that threatened to crush her and instead put her attention to the distance that they had yet to travel. She knew there was still a good stretch of distance that stood between them and Eden's Hall, where Orphan would surely be. They had to keep the Calvary from attacking the fal'Cie, no matter what.

As she neared the road below she tossed the gizmo that would cradle her fall with one hand and grasped her gun firmly in the other. A well-thought out moment passed by until she released a single round into the small device, which instantly exploded when the bullet hit its target. The explosion sent a decently sized burst of electromagnetic energy hurtling through the air, which momentarily sent the gathered soldiers below flying backwards, partially stunned. With the element of surprise on her side, Lightning took advantage of the situation and landed with her knees tucked in towards her chest in order to avoid the gunfire of the soldiers that had been too far away to feel the effects of the device. She remained low to the ground as she charged forward, instituting sideways rolls to dodge incoming fire, and she'd pause for the briefest of seconds to send a few shells towards her opponents.

She felt the energy emanate from the AMP devices that the others were using, so she knew they were close behind. They gathered around her just as Lightning landed a punch into the esophagus of a soldier who really didn't seem to have any idea what was going on. Sazh winced at the sight.

"Ouch."

"They were shooting at me. It's the least they deserved."

"She shot one in the balls. Poor bastard," Fang added with a dark chuckle.

"Just aim for the head next time, okay?" Sazh said with a pained groan. "It's not as hard to watch."

"Right," Lightning uttered, rolling her eyes, her feet already dragging her away from their idiocy.

They were on a long stretch of barricaded road, and she knew that behind sporadically planned blockades there would be troops waiting to ambush them. It was a trap – a very obvious trap – and they had nothing they could do other than push forward.

Battle after battle ensued against the lower-ranking Sanctum forces. They were tough, Lightning would give them that, but they proved to be of little challenge to them. Towards the end of the straightforward stretch, some Sanctum Seraphs appeared, which did cause Lightning to stumble slightly. She remembered from her GC training that the Seraphs were very skilled, very specialized soldiers who were trained for nothing other than to subjugate their opponents. They were good at it, and everyone knew it.

The preliminaries were finally over, it seemed. The Sanctum was finally going to take the six l'Cie a bit more seriously.

Lightning smirked at the idea that she was now on par with the Sanctum's finest, and it put a much-needed spring in her step when she wondered what Amodar would think of her accomplishments. She spun gracefully on her heels, her cape twisting tightly around her waist before she thrust forward with her blade. Maybe she would have gotten promoted yet again, or maybe she'd have been sent to join the PSICOM men if she were still in the Guardian Corps…

_Those days are gone. Why bother wondering about it?_

The battle ended with the party feeling a little dissatisfied. "So," Hope said slowly, "we just beat up some of the good Sanctum soldiers, right?" He furrowed his eyebrows as they jogged forwards a ways. "It kinda worries me that those were the guys protecting us all this time…"

Fang laughed. "They didn't have anything to protect you _from. _Gran Pulse is pretty much lifeless now. They're probably only used to fighting some stupid wild dogs or something like that; not actual, one-hundred-percent-certified Pulse l'Cie."

"If we woulda been this strong to begin with," Hope continued, "then the Purge never would have happened."

"Then we would have been the ones to cause some sort of civil war," Lightning cut in, her eyes locked on two red lifts. This is what all the soldiers had been protecting: this elevator would lead them closer to the heart of Eden, where Orphan would undoubtedly be or, if not him, then Dysley. "Come on, we're taking a ride."

They emerged in a small, walled-off area somewhere far away from where they had entered the elevators. There were sounds of vehicles racing by at a very close proximity to where they stood, and immediately they all wondered if the mobile security forces were on their tail. Silently everyone nodded and removed their weapons from where they were being carried, and Lightning led the group to the corner where the walled-off area opened into an exit. She slowly stepped out until her foot was flush with the corner, pulled her body forward, readied her gun, and then shot out around the ninety degree angle with her finger on the trigger, Sazh right behind her.

Nobody was there, it was just cars speeding by. She told this to the others, who immediately followed her out to view the sight. It was calming, almost, to see such an ordinary thing unaffected by the chaos that had been following them since their arrival on Cocoon. They considerately watched the going-ons for a moment, until their thoughtful silence was interrupted by Sazh.

"So the Cavalry's here to, uh…"

"They're here for Orphan," Lightning finished, turning to face the group. "If it's close to the fal'Cie Eden, they're probably headed for the heart of the Sanctum."

"Right. And if they destroy it, then bad things are gonna happen," Fang said, her voice unusually serious.

Hope sighed. "So long Cocoon."

"Then we better get there before they do," Snow said, determined. The others agreed with nods of their heads and quiet grunts of approval.

"Uh-oh…" While the others spoke, Lightning saw a disturbingly familiar purple portal appear a few yards above the road. It was massive in size, and she knew that it could only mean trouble. As the form of the beast burst from the confining transport, Lightning saw its colossal frame and she thought no longer. Her body was already reacting without her really realizing it. "Let's move!" She shouted, her legs bursting with energy as she leaped forward, into oncoming traffic. Her jump was high enough to clear the cars and land in the median, where no safe driver would be directing their vehicle.

A giant-ass Behemoth was charging at her on all fours, its head lowered while it snarled viciously.

A Behemoth.

Its width alone covered half the highway, and, as coincidence would have it, it was travelling on the wrong side of the road. Several cars smashed into its chest and did no damage to the beast. Instead they ricocheted harmlessly off its steel-like skin and bounced easily back towards Lightning. She jumped again, using one of the oncoming cars as a foothold to gain more air. Her sword poised for an attack, Lightning propelled herself forward, striking the beast on the head.

Something with very wrong.

Her sword caught the metallic headpiece it wore and there was a split second where nothing happened. Then all the energy that she had placed into the swing came back to bite her in the ass when it came bouncing back at her, sending her flying helplessly backwards.

She heard everyone gasp in surprise and worry. More than that, she heard Snow cry out her name in alarm, charging forward, heedless of his own safety, to join Lightning's side in the battle, to protect her, like heroes always do for their damsels.

_Wait…what?_

She shook her head and spun sharply around in mid-air, digging her blade into the grates of the road to stop her fall. Grimacing, she pulled her shaken body up onto her feet and shook off her own shock at how things had unfolded

Snow ran to her side, followed moments later by Sazh. "Lightning!" Snow cried, grabbing her shoulders. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"She's fine, Trench," Sazh said, grabbing Snow's shoulders and wheeling him around. "But we're about to die, unless we kill this nasty SOB."

Fang leaped onto the scene with her lance flashing in the Phoenix-given sunlight. "This guy's from Pulse. He's no pushover. This'll be a real fight!"

Lightning spat out some blood that gathered in her mouth. She must have bitten her tongue somewhere during her dazzlingly unplanned descent. "I'm ready for one," she said bitterly, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

Casting his eyes over her, probably to make sure she really was okay, Snow's grip on Lightning tightened. "Don't do that again. Ever," he warned. "You might think death is no big deal, but I sure as hell would prefer you stay alive."

"Snow, above you!" Hope shouted suddenly from his corner of the battlefield. Snow and Lightning's heads both shot up to see the beast's claws slamming down through the air at them.

"Shit," Snow spat. He rammed his body backwards, into Lightning, throwing her out of harm's way. She landed on her rear end but quickly got to her feet once more, demanding Snow to get the hell out of there before she even saw what was going on. Her eyes connected with the sight she sought, and she saw Snow's upraised, locked arms get slashed by the tail ends of the Behemoth's claws. Snow roared in pain as the seams of his biceps were torn open. Vanille was too busy sending spells the Behemoth's ways to aid Snow, but Hope and Lightning arrived simultaneously on the scene while Fang distracted the monster away from the three.

"I'm fine," Snow persisted, gripping a potion from his pack. He poured the magical liquid over his wounds, but everyone saw that it did little to heal him.

"Stupid ass," Lightning muttered. "I could have dodged that myself."

"Less heroic that way," Snow smiled grimly. Hope, with one eye on the battle that was unfolding, lay a hand over one of Snow's arm and began to heal the damage that had been done. Snow looked to Lightning. "Surprised you're here. Shouldn't you be fighting?"

"Shut up while he's healing you," Lightning said lightly, watching the damage repair itself before her eyes. She recalled when she healed Snow, back at Hope's house all that time ago, and remembered that _that's _when everything started. That's when she understood that she had…_feelings _for this lumbering idiot, and it was the first time she really touched him or gave any time to even think about him. It had happened suddenly, unexpectedly, and now she almost wished it never happened at all.

Her eyes snapped to Hope. "Done?"

"Yeah," he said, quickly brushing his hands off on his pants. "Good enough for now."

Lightning quickly joined the fray when she heard Vanille begin to scream as the Behemoth charged her direction, but several gunshots behind the foe, where nobody seemed to be, directed the beast's attention there instead. It raised its claw and swiped down, then turned around to face the ones gathered on the other side.

Fang was throwing every spell she knew at the Behemoth in order to make it more vulnerable to the attacks of the others. She was a dirty fighter, and many times Lightning didn't always appreciate her work: it wasn't the best of ways to test her skills if her enemy was weakened by the tribeswoman, after all. Vanille and Hope were alternating between healing and elemental spells, although the former tended to stick more to healing while the latter was far superior at sending a firestorm, which would quickly be proceeded by a raging storm, towards the Behemoth. Snow and Lightning were the main attackers, charging forward between the spells of the others to destroy the living hell out of the beast. They didn't put much thought into what they did: they just knew that they were strong, and that this monster from Pulse needed to die.

_This is…nice, _Lightning thought as she synchronized her attacks with Snow. Both leaped up on opposite sides of the Behemoth, weapons readied, and unleashed their fury on the monster's skull. _We work well together._ She remembered when their attacks used to be uncoordinated and clumsy; the right hand never knew what the left was doing. Now, though, she was able to read Snow's movements and predict what he'd do next, and she was certain he was perceiving the same things with her own movements.

Almost as a test Lightning tensed up and prepared to leap onto the fiend's neck to attack there, although she didn't know if it'd be particularly effective. Snow's eyes shot to her, and for a moment his brow furrowed in thought. Understanding dawned on his face, and as soon as Lightning jumped, Snow was mimicking her movements, joining her on the neck.

"So, you do pay attention," she called over the din of her sword striking occasional metal.

"More than you realize," Snow said, almost too quietly for Lightning to pick up.

She didn't put too much stock into the statement. Her attention was too narrowed right now: she figured, judging by the beast's declining enthusiasm, that they were getting close to—

"What the hell is going on?" Fang cried, taking a step back. Hope and Vanille followed suit, but Snow and Lightning were stuck on the monster's neck. Panicking, both gripped tightly to the Behemoth King's mane as it stood on mighty hind legs, its roar deafening both of them. A blinding light enveloped its body, now blinding Lightning and Snow as well, and for a span of time that lasted far too long Lightning was in a world where she could neither see nor hear, and it frightened her terribly.

She felt a powerful arm wrap around her shoulders, dragging her over to the side. She lashed out, but paused when she felt a familiarly hard body at her side. A rumble sounded, and she felt the vibrations echo within her skull that told her somebody had just spoken, but she didn't know what was said. All she knew was that Snow, who now held her, had said it.

He tugged, hard, on her body, forcing her to loosen her grip, and together they fell, fell, fell…

But she landed safely. She didn't know how, or what had happened, but—

_I can see! _

She saw Snow beneath her, smiling warmly up at her from where he lay, cradled by the AMP technology that she had given him earlier. She desperately fought off the grin that threatened to show itself on her face, and instead wormed her way out of Snow's grasp.

"That was inappropriate for the situation," she said sternly.

"You liked it."

_I hate him._

"Do you guys think you could, oh, I don't know…_help us with the damn situation?_" Fang bellowed from where she stood. Lightning, deciding that Fang probably had a point, charged forward again towards the Behemoth, who had ripped off the metallic crown it wore and now wielded it as a sword. Lightning understood then why Fang was so desperate: the Behemoth was beating Fang with the sword, gradually wearing down the shield that she had crafted. She was tiring, quickly, and Vanille and Hope were beginning to look drained after expending so much energy in their spell-casting.

Lightning, ashamed and embarrassed, swung her sword through the air and had it greet the Behemoth's spine with a heart-warming _thwack. _Snow rushed forward to Fang, erecting his own shield to give her a moment's reprieve. He tried to keep the monster's attention on him, but he wasn't anywhere near as annoying as Fang, who had to keep dodging attacks from the one-tracked-mind of the Behemoth. She was cursing madly, running circles around the Behemoth, and then, suddenly, the expletives ceased and she practically screamed for Lightning.

_She never calls for my help…_

Alerted now to the fact that something was very, very wrong, Lightning ducked down and sprinted as fast as she could to the source of Fang's voice. When she found her, she also found Sazh, on his side with a pool of dark blood surrounding him. Fang was on her knees, shaking him and slapping him across his face, shouting his name, but the old man was far too pale…

"Snow, Vanille! On me!" Lightning commanded, enfolding Sazh into her arms while both she and Fang ducked away from another attack. The two that she called for came to Lightning in a flash, and the younger girl burst into tears at the sight of Sazh so bloodied and limp. Lightning grabbed the beads around Vanille's neck and tugged her down. "Listen to me," she said calmly, albeit rushed. "He's going to die if you don't pull yourself together. I need you calm and ready to heal, not sobbing like a lunatic."

"B..bu…Sazh…" she began, then flew into a fit of sobbing once more. It was drowned out briefly by a loud explosion behind them; Hope's doing, undoubtedly. When the noise ceased, Vanille was beyond the point of hysterical.

Lightning slapped Vanille, hard, across the jaw. The girl stuttered, and the shock immediately ceased her tears.

"Good. Now, heal him. Fang, distract the Behemoth. Snow, protect Vanille. Got it?"

Everyone nodded solemnly and proceeded with their instructions. Lightning ran over to check on Hope to find that he was doing fine on his own, his mind blissfully clear from the image of a torn and dying Sazh.

_I don't think I've ever seen so much blood…_

Lightning was fighting on auto-pilot while the image of Sazh, on his side, flashed through her mind. His entire torso was covered in blood, and in the few seconds it had taken her to move him, she had discovered why: a giant claw had ripped through his skin at some point in the fight, ripping it open in three ragged gashes. Her hand had literally fallen into Sazh's body, and when she glanced at it now she saw the dark, dried blood and something that looked horribly like a small piece of flesh sticking to her glove.

She held back the bile that rose in her throat.

He had lost a _lot _of blood. He was so cold to the touch, his skin pale, and his lips were starting to turn blue…

Had he died?

She hadn't even checked. Was Sazh dead?

Gods, Sazh couldn't be dead.

All the signs were there, though…

"Lightning! We need you here, now!"

She blinked several times, searching around her for the source of the voice.

Where was the Behemoth? She stepped forward, walking towards the direction where she knew Fang was, and her foot landed on something bulky and tough—_oh, there it is._

It was dead at her feet.

Her eyes slowly lifted to where Sazh had been found and spied the puddle of crimson, then she followed a thin train of the liquid to where Fang, Snow, Vanille and Hope stood. They had moved back to the small nook where they arrived, and all stood around Sazh, their faces drawn tight and grim.

Lightning, knowing the worst was about to happen, strode forward, her head bowed and tears stabbing at the corners of her eyes.

She'd lost another.

Sazh was dead. She knew it. It was her fault. She could have prevented it, but she hadn't.

She was a blight to everyone around her; she was their death sentence.

Lightning. It does nothing other than destroy, after all.


	20. Another Promise

**Si's Note: **Here's the next chapter. Thank you to all who reviewed last chapter-it definitely raised my spirits a bit! Please review again...your thoughts are appreciated!

* * *

Snow's heart ached with worry while sitting by Sazh's side. He watched as the pilot's chest rose and fell in irregular patterns, barely lifting with each breath. The color of his face was paler than it should have been, his lips a little too blue, and his wound…

Tear-clouded eyes shot to Vanille, silently pleading for the answer to his unasked question. The young girl choked back a sob, bit her lip, and met Snow's penetrating gaze with equal weight. "I don't know," she said, her voice thick. "I don't…I just don't know!"

Fang rubbed Vanille's shoulder absentmindedly while her other hand gently stroked Sazh's afro, where the chocobo chick had come out of hiding to sit on his master's forehead. "It'll be okay," Fang murmured. "He's tough. He can handle it."

Sensing that Fang wasn't entirely certain of her own words, Snow found himself frowning even more deeply and leaning towards the old man, giving him an inspection of his own. Granted, Snow was the worst magic user of the bunch and his healing skills were probably below par, but he imagined he would be able to tell if a wound was lethal or not.

His eyebrows were knitted together when he examined the bare chest of his friend, ignoring the not-as-firm pectoral and abdominal muscles that he normally poked fun at, and instead he focused entirely on the ragged skin across his belly. Three attack wounds, all about half an inch or so deep, but none really seemed to have punctured anything vital, in Snow's opinion.

Sazh's skin was healing itself even while Snow continued his observations, though a great delay had taken place between Vanille's attempted fixing and the current time. He wondered why for a moment, but he knew that the answer wouldn't be apparent to _him_, of all people. Instead he prayed for the second time in one day, wishing against all possible odds that Sazh would come out of this okay.

Everyone's breath caught in their chest when Sazh released a low moan, and then…

…then his breathing stopped.

"What the hell happened?" Snow roared, dragging himself nearer to Sazh's side as Fang shouted for Lightning's aid.

Vanille panicked again and leaned forward, hands glowing, to pump more magic into Sazh even though Snow was certain she didn't have the energy to properly provide it. Hope, too, dashed forward and followed Vanille's lead, despite the fact that no magic could resuscitate a dead man. Snow and Fang weren't even sure where to begin: Snow was never taught mouth-to-mouth, which was probably the only viable solution, and he was fairly certain that a few centuries-old Gran Pulsian wouldn't really know it, either. Fang's eyes met Snow's and his thoughts were confirmed.

Hope's efforts, combined with Vanille's, were doing nothing, as Snow expected. Sazh still wasn't breathing.

Though he was hardly able to contain the hysteria that was about to consume him, Snow still had a flicker of a thought that seemed entirely logical: _Lightning would know how. _She was a soldier, and such a practice seemed entirely likely for a soldier to know in case one of her brothers were to fall. That, probably, was why Fang had called for her, but…

"Where is she?" Snow spat, his eyes darting everywhere. They fell to where the body of the Behemoth now lay, and he spied Lightning walking quickly in their direction, her eyes downcast, her posture suggesting she bore a heavy burden. He didn't know what the hell her problem was and at this point in time he didn't particularly care, either.

"Lightning! Get your ass over here, now! We need you!" Snow shouted, waving his arm frantically. Lightning's head snapped up and her eyes narrowed, then she burst into a sprint.

Her eyes swept over the still form of Sazh as she approached. Fang informed Lightning that he had just ceased breathing and Lightning waited for no further information. She straddled Sazh's hips and interlaced the fingers of both of her hands, placing them, stacked, on Sazh's chest and she immediately began compressions. "Hope, tilt Sazh's head back and lift his chin. Fang, when I tell you to, you need to seal your mouth over Sazh's, pinch his nose, and exhale into his mouth twice. Understand?"

"What the hell is this? What am I doing?"

Snow watched as Lightning silently counted. "Don't ask questions! Do as I say, dammit!" She was at twenty-four now and she continued to go while Hope did as Lightning instructed. "Twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty…Fang, breathe!"

For a brief second Fang's eyes were wide and bewildered as she looked to Lightning for confirmation. Lightning nodded sharply, which is when Fang lunged forward and pressed her mouth against Sazh's, breathing deeply into him, pinching his nose shut as instructed. Vanille was crying again, and that only added to the chaos that Snow felt was going on around him.

After the second breath there was still no sign of life from Sazh. Lightning's eyes were filled with concern, but she continued on with the compressions, ignoring the small amount of blood that was seeping from Sazh's now-sealed wound. No doubt his skin was being stretched due to the compressions on his chest and the weight of Lightning on his waist.

"…thirty. Fang! Now!"

Fang once again lowered her head and gave Sazh another breath of air. Sazh's chest rose sharply and fell, unlike the last time, but there still was no response from the man. Fang's eyes desperately shot to Hope, then again to Lightning. "He's not waking up!" she cried while Lightning continued with her duty.

"We've only tried twice! Calm down!"

"He's not breathing!" Vanille sobbed. "His heart…is his heart even beating?" She scrambled to Sazh's arm, checking for a pulse. "He's dead!"

Lightning's eyes darted up to Snow, and when they did he felt her begging him, somehow, to deescalate the situation.

In a moment where Snow had absolutely no idea what to do and even less of an idea of what was going on, he demanded that everybody just shut up and do their damn job. When nobody listened, he decided to try a different attempt. "Lightning's the only one here who has a clue what she's doing," Snow said loudly. "So do what she says! If you don't, Sazh…he'll…"

"Breathe, Fang!"

"I don't—"

"Breathe! Now, damn you!"

Fang ducked down again, her face shielded by wild locks of hair. When she rose again, Snow saw the tears lining her eyes, and the very distinct expression of someone who's given up completely.

"He's not dead," Lightning mumbled. "He's not. I didn't give him permission to die. If anybody is going to kill the old codger, it's going to be me."

"Lightning…" Hope began lightly, but she cut him off with a deathly glare.

"He's not dead," she repeated stubbornly.

"Light, it's been five minutes…he's…"

Lightning unlatched one of her hands and grabbed Hope's scarf, yanking him towards her as her raised voice escalated into a shout. "Damn it, Hope! Do what I say and stop arguing with me!"

A little broken, Hope nodded quietly, pulling away from Lightning's grasp. Once free, he bowed his head to look at Sazh's still-closed eyes.

After another thirty compressions and two more breaths by Fang, Lightning swore violently. "Forget this," she mumbled. She stood, suddenly, and the others all gasped at her callous attitude towards the situation.

Didn't she care about Sazh? His life was on the line here, and she was going to just—

A small streak of lightning burst from the soldier's hands, directly down into Sazh's chest, leaving the smallest of burns where it struck him. His body jerked spastically, but no sign of life came from her attempt. She flexed her fingers several times while Vanille looked on, horrified.

"What are you doing?" She squealed. "No! Don't do that! You'll-!"

Lightning's glare silenced Vanille. Once quiet ensued, she repeated the reviving process yet again, still to no avail. She growled, adjusted her aim, and after another spark from Lightning, Sazh bolted up from where he lay, vomiting as he went.

Vanille didn't care if he was violently ill at the moment or not: she threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around Sazh's middle. When bile touched her arm, she winced but still held tightly to the man.

Fang looked like she was ready to cry. "Don't you dare do that to us again, old man," she said harshly.

Sazh surprised them all when his head slowly turned to consider the tribeswoman. Wide eyes blinked, confused, and then he tried to speak. A garbled mess replaced actual words; he vomited a little more, then went limp in Vanille's arms.

"No! No, not again!" Vanille whimpered, lying Sazh back down in a rush. "Lighning, help—"

She was already at Sazh's side, feeling his wrist for a pulse. She shook her head and sat down heavily beside Snow. "He's alive. Just unconscious. You may want to check over him, Hope—I'm pretty sure I broke a few of his ribs."

Hope, not even daring to question Lightning again, nodded and, trembling, he laid his hands on Sazh's body to do his job.

Fang's rear met the cement beneath her, following Lightning's suit. "Will he live?" she said wearily, trying her best to mask the worry that she felt.

Lightning shrugged. "Hopefully." Snow couldn't help but note the concern in her voice. "By the looks of things, though, he's lost a lot of blood. Magic won't help him regain that. He's going to be out for awhile, and even when he does wake up, he's going to be weak. Very weak."

Snow grunted beside her, feeling extremely useless about the whole situation. "What'll we do, then? I mean, Cocoon's being attacked, and Sazh needs rest…"

"We wait," Lightning and Fang said firmly, together. The two women looked at each other, surprised, then both shrugged and looked away. Lightning continued. "This planet wants us dead, and the six of us have risked our asses to save them. I'm not about to abandon an essential member of the team for the people here; not after all we've been through together_._" She pursed her lips at the very thought._ "_We've got time, so let's take advantage of it."

"I don't really care about Cocoon," Fang added, "but I do care about Sazh—uh, his health and everything. So, yeah, like Sunshine said: we wait it out."

Vanille sighed and collapsed on the ground next to Fang, alongside Sazh. "He could be out for days. What if Cocoon can't last that long?"

She looked to Lightning for an answer, but nothing came. Snow's attention turned to the woman at his side, and he found her head buried in her arms with her knees drawn close to her chest.

"Light…?" Hope began, not moving from his spot near Sazh's skull. He watched her nervously, seeming ready to leap to her aid at the first sign of distress. Snow, upon viewing this, automatically inched closer to Lightning.

"Sazh will be good to go in a bit. He just needs some rest, and to take it easy once we head out," Snow said to the others. He pressed himself closer to Lightning, his mouth inches from her ear. "Light…? Are you okay?" He waited for a response, but none came. He wasn't surprised by this, though, to say the least. She had already spurned him more times today than she ever had in the past, and each time around it hurt a hell of a lot worse than the last. When she rejected him on the platform, stating that Serah would be waiting for Snow instead of Lightning, he had to do everything in his power to stop himself from slapping her. How many times did he have to explain himself, or his thoughts?

He heaved a sigh that was cut off by a sigh from Lightning herself, who stood and declared that she was going to go see what was going on outside of their small nook. She stood and marched away, head bowed, leaving the others baffled.

Fang, leaning over Sazh and peering into eyes that she pried open, grunted. "Sure, she can resuscitate him, but what happens afterwords isn't much of a concern."

Vanille hit Fang's arm lightly from where she lay. "Stop it, Fang. You're too hard on her. _She's _the reason Sazh's alive to begin with. Besides, she's had a hard day, too.."

"She makes it hard on herself," Fang shrugged. Snow had to agree with Fang.

Hope sat back, the chocobo chick in his hand. "Snow, aren't you gonna go see what's up?" he said lightly, though it was obvious it had been difficult for him to say as much.

Once more Snow was surprised at the boy's offer. He wasn't really sure if Hope was trying to get him in trouble with Lightning or if he finally, genuinely was attempting to assist with the so-called _relationship, _but it didn't particularly matter at this point. Snow nodded to Hope and stood quickly.

He inched around the corner silently, peeking his head out to see if he could spy Lightning without alerting her to his presence. Sure enough, he found her a few feet away, bearing the same burden that she had been when she first made her way to Sazh. She was hugging her arms to her chest and her face was parallel to the ground below, her body rather rigid. Snow tiptoed nearer, watching as Lightning's shoulders rose and fell softly, in a way that was hardly even noticeable, and he listened as she tried desperately to control her breathing, to even it out again.

He was only a foot away now, and she had lost control of her breathing that she had almost reined in. It was shallow, fast, and, Snow knew, she was on the verge of letting those long-held tears loose. He didn't want to speak to her: she'd only reinstate the barriers that she spent so many years perfecting. It was tempting, too, to pretend that he wasn't there and just let her cry, but the last thing Snow wanted was for Lightning to feel alone.

Instead, he waited until she was on the brink of losing her cool, and then he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin against the crown of her head. Lightning inhaled sharply, but when Snow's grip only tightened, and when he whispered to her that everything was okay, he noticed that the breath she took in had yet to be released.

She shook violently; her shoulders were quivering and, at times, her body would lurch forward slightly, but she never made a single noise to alert the others that she had finally let those walls crumble down. Tears that had long been denied were finally released, and Snow was more than honored that he was able to witness this. He wasn't gloating about how she was crying, albeit silently: no, he was just happy she trusted him enough to show him this side of her.

The amount of time that passed didn't seem like a long while, but many thoughts passed through Snow's mind as he waited for Lightning to release her emotions fully. He recalled the many occasions where Lightning's fist had met some part of his body—typically his face—and how much it had hurt, both physically and emotionally, each time. At first he just desperately wanted to get along with…with his future sister-in-law, but eventually the despair was due to reasons that were far more complicated.

When he and Lightning met on the Vestige, when they saw Serah, he wanted nothing more than to show Lightning that he would be able to save Serah, to show Lightning that Serah wanted _him _at that moment, not her sister, so that she could feel what being rejected, as he had been, was really like. When Serah turned to crystal, Snow was devastated…but more because Lightning's opinion of him had plummeted than anything else. Somehow he knew Serah would return, so his concerns never lay there.

Hope's house was a memory that he would never forget. He knew now that the strange tickling sensation had been Lightning's fingers gently tracing over his skin; he was able to piece that together on his own. After observing so many healings, and being healed so many times himself, he came to understand that the reason he had felt Lightning's presence was because she had placed so much of herself into healing him. And when he had woken, when she had decided to speak to him and to apologize, he would never forget her catching his wandering eyes, but instead of destroying him with harsh words he was met with a slightly confounded countenance, never anything more. When she led him out of the room, his arm was draped over her neck, and he had _felt _her heartbeat increase at his touch. It hadn't made sense then, but now…

Why was it that he had to figure it all out on his own? Why wouldn't Lightning ever admit to anything?

He sighed and pulled Lightning closer to him, remembering the first time she allowed him to be this close to her in Mah'habara. It had been so new and exciting then, and every time afterwords it was always the same feeling. Granted, they hadn't been close too often since, but it had yet to lose the excitement that came along with it.

With a small smile Snow brought his hands higher, around her midsection, still hugging her warmly. Lightning had calmed considerably, and her breathing was once again becoming more regular. Snow buried his nose in her hair and smelled the faint, soft spices that were attributed to the soldier, but also the distinct, coppery tang of blood that seemed to complement the other scent far too well. "Tell me," his voice was barely above a whisper, "what's on your mind."

Lightning was still as stiff as ever, and if Snow tilted his head slightly one way and peered down he could see that her cheeks were tinged pink, almost to the point of matching her hair. Her eyes were downwards, her jaw set: she was embarrassed.

"We almost lost Sazh, Lightning. It's okay to feel—"

"Nobody else did," she said flatly. "Just me."

"We were all freaking out before you came, and even more after. You stayed calm the whole time." Snow sighed. "It's okay to show emotion, you know."

Lightning was quiet, but judging by the expression she had donned, she strongly disagreed with the statement. Snow had to try another tactic to get her to open up, that much was certain, but he was never very good with thinking ahead, or with battle plans. He always ran in, head-first, and hoped for the best. What would he—

"It was a moment of self-pity. Nothing more." Lightning looked away, her eyes locked on the distant shapes of the heart of Eden.

_That was a bit easier than I thought. _"Self-pity? What were you thinking about?"

She sighed again and her head dropped, and for many minutes she was silent. Snow was just about to press the question to her again, but just as he opened his mouth she decided to speak.

"I almost lost Sazh. We did lose him there, for a minute. All I could think about was…was how I do nothing other than destroy the lives of everyone around me. I bring harm to everyone. Like I told Hope: Lightning does nothing other than destroy, and I…" her shoulders drooped. "Everyone I know dies. They get hurt. They turn to crystal." At this she turned around and faced Snow, her eyes hard. "You're not going to be any different. You'll get close, and at the end of this mess—"

"Lightning, listen to me," Snow said, lowering his head to meet hers. "What happened to the others…it's not your fault! None of this is your fault!"

"No?" Snow was taken aback by how cold her tone was. "Sazh never would have been injured if I would have taken the time to pay attention. Serah wouldn't have turned to crystal if I would have _listened _to her. My mom would still be here if I would have worked harder, made more money to afford a better hospital." She paused and narrowed her eyes. "Look at the trail of destruction we've left, Snow, since we've started this journey!"

"It's not your fault, Lightning."

"This whole mess is my fault! If I would have spent more time with Serah, and less time working, then she never would have gone into the Vestige to begin with! She wouldn't have been alone! She…" Her voice trailed off and she looked away.

"Wouldn't have met me?" Snow said casually. Lightning's attention snapped back to him and she nodded once, sharply.

Snow felt a bit offended, but he tried his damnedest to cover his anger. "And if that would have been the case, then you never would have got to meet any of us. We'd all be random strangers, wandering aimlessly in the world. You'd prefer that? After all this shit we've been through?"

She hesitated.

_Gods, she hesitated!_

"You have friends here, Lightning. Hope…looks up to you, Fang thinks you're all right, Sazh thinks the world of you, and I…" _tell her what you feel! _Curious blue eyes waited for Snow to finish his sentence. "I…care about you. If this journey never would have happened, then…I would have made a huge mistake in my life. I'd be without some amazing friends." He wrapped his fingers in blood-speckled hair, tugging lightly on the pink locks. "You haven't brought destruction with all of this, Light. You've helped all of us to grow. We're all better people because of you. Because of this journey, because of you're actions, we've discovered so many good things—"

Snow's words were lost when Lightning's mouth shut him up. She propelled herself forward, her hands gripping the edges of Snow's coat, and once more Snow was able to feel the marvelously tender touch of her lips against his.

He was stunned, momentarily, by her actions, as he had been the first time they shared a kiss. The hand that had been lost in locks of hair now cupped the crown of her head in his palm, pulling her closer to him, while the other hand wrapped around her waist, inching up the back of her shirt, tracing her spine. He felt her bones with the pads of his first two fingers, felt the muscles working as her hands frantically scrambled to find the skin of his chest beneath all his layers of clothing, and as his fingers crawled higher it tugged her shirt upwards, revealing more of her toned abdomen. When his shirt was raised by Lightning's efforts, their skin touched, and both felt the sudden heat that spread through their bodies.

Surprised, Lightning pulled back, panting slightly. Her eyes and hair were wild as she surveyed Snow in a calculating manner. She nodded, ever-so-slightly, and pushed herself back into him once more. The force of her impact sent Snow reeling back towards the wall, the corner that he had sneaked around, and his arms were pushed flat against the concrete as Lightning struggled to remove his jacket.

Snow then understood what the nod was for; he knew what it was that she wanted. She was upset, not in her right mind, and needed an emotional release. At any other point in time she would have been mortified by her unthinking actions.

He, on the other hand, was more than willing to accept the activity that she was presenting to him, so he too-readily assisted her in removing his trench coat. As soon as it was off, his hands flew to her vest and unzipped it, throwing it away from her shoulders.

Hot breath met his neck when she lowered her mouth to suckle on the tender skin there, and for a moment Snow wondered where the hell she, an inexperienced woman in the ways of love, learned how to drive him as crazy as she was able to. The brief thought of _Gadot _disrupted him for a second, but not enough to distract his attention away from the fact that she was now working on his vest.

His head swooped down to hers, greeting her lips with wild abandon. His tongue slid into her mouth briefly, tasting and exploring while he began to work on her turtleneck. His handiwork was about to reveal her breasts, for the first time, but the sound of Hope's laugh from a short distance away rocked Snow back into the present.

They were about twenty feet away from Hope, Vanille, and Fang.

Sazh was unconscious. He had almost _died._

Lighting was almost topless.

_Hell, she looks amazing._

His eyes raked over her body, noting that, though her frame wasn't exactly the prized hour-glass shape that most men craved, it _was _firm, and there were curves present. Her ribs were only slightly visible beneath the muscle, and, since she was breathing rather heavily, it stretched her skin tightly…

He lost himself again in another heated kiss with Lightning, but she, too, seemed to have been brought back to the present situation. Their mouths moved rhythmically while each tongue performed a careful, delicate dance with the other, searching and exploring passionately. Her head tilted back and her hand cradling the contours of Snow's neck while the other teased his lower abdomen. Their kiss slowed, and Snow's eyes fluttered open to see that Lightning's face was once again pink, and her brows were locked together in contemplation. Finally, as Snow expected she would, Lightning pulled away, her eyes down-turned.

"That's enough," she said quietly, kneeling down to pick up her vest. She tugged her turtleneck back down with one hand and then replaced the damned vest with the other, hiding any and all evidence that she had a feminine body shape beneath the dull layers.

She sighed and picked up Snow's trench coat, draping it over one arm as she began straightening his vest, much like a wife would do for a husband before he went off to work.

_Oh, shit, not these thoughts again…_

The trench coat was held open for him to place his arms in and, a bit unwillingly, he replaced the jacket onto his shoulders. "So," Snow began, not entirely sure where to start a conversation after _that._

"Sorry," Lightning said simply, turning away to fix her hair.

"No reason to be sorry. I enjoyed it. I…missed you."

She said nothing to that at first. As she was combing her fingers through knotted hair, she responded with a whispered, "I guess I missed you, too."

"You guess?"

"Shut up."

Snow grinned, feeling a strange sense of elation rise within him. He laid his hands on Lightning's shoulders and massaged them slowly, pressing a kiss against Lightning's temple. "You saved Sazh, and you're about to save Cocoon. You needed some sort of release. I'm just happy I was here to help."

She snorted in an unladylike way. "I bet."

A minute of silence passed between the two, and if Snow were psychic he would have realized that they were both thinking the same thought: _What next?_

Lightning turned around suddenly, her face surprisingly unreadable. "When all this is over, and Serah returns…are you going to tell her what happened?"

Snow wasn't really expecting this question from Lightning, especially since he'd been receiving nothing but death glares and harsh words from her for the past while. "Uh…yeah."

"You hesitated."

_Gods, why did I hesitate?_

"You took me by surprise, considering how you've been acting towards me lately," Snow replied honestly, which was good, as it made Lightning look a little ashamed.

"Yeah, well…you deserved it," she shrugged. She adjusted the pack around her leg, giving Snow a good view of her rear end. "When will you do it?" she asked casually, not bothering to look at Snow while she queried.

"I haven't really thought about it," Snow responded. "But the sooner, the better."

"The sooner the better," she echoed, her voice hollow. She continued adjusting things, like her boots, which had been untouched, for the most part. Another moment's pause led her to say, "You should wait a week. No…two weeks would be better."

"Are you crazy? No way!"

"Why not?" Lightning said sharply, turning around to face Snow. Her face was terribly severe, and Snow suddenly remembered why he had been so afraid of this woman.

He gulped to gather his courage. "I can't lie about things for that long, Light. I mean…she'll want to start wedding planning, or to…to kiss or…or whatever! I can't do that to you, or to her. It's not right."

"None of this is right," she mumbled, tossing her hair out of her eyes. She looked towards where Sazh and the others were before turning back to Snow. "Listen. I don't want to spring this on her as soon as she gets back from her stasis. That'll be the last thing she needs. We just…we need to pretend that everything is normal for a bit before we drop the 'I've-been-cheating-on-you-with-your-sister' bomb." Dark, stormy eyes raised to meet Snow's. "Promise me that you'll wait."

"Are you out of your mind? That's a terrible plan! She'll be even more pissed when I tell her two weeks later!"

Lightning took a step nearer. "Don't argue with me. I know what'll happen. Just promise me you won't tell her for two weeks, okay?"

"I—"

"Promise me!"

Defeated, and not really sure what exactly this was _really _about, Snow finally agreed to the promise, ignoring the uneasy feeling he had about the entire thing.

Lightning sighed heavily, her shoulders slightly hunched over. "Good," she said breathily. "Good. Now, let's get back to the others…we've been gone awhile."

Confused, Snow merely nodded and fell in-step with the soldier, though he didn't forget to grab her hand and squeeze it tightly as they walked. She gave him a weak smile, then turned her head forward and concentrated on the scene before her.

They arrived back at Sazh's side to find him still unconscious, though color was returning back to him. Vanille reported that his heartbeat was becoming more steady and his breathing more regular, while Hope claimed that he had healed the five or seven ribs that had been broken by Lightning. He said the burn on his chest wouldn't disappear, though, and he really didn't have any idea why.

Lightning nodded and thanked both for their findings, then examined the tiny nook that they'd be hunkering down in for the time being. She tutted quietly, then turned to ask Fang a question. Lightning paused, frowning, then asked for Fang to leave with her. Fang's head snapped up quickly, she saw Lightning, and then she nodded and stood, leaving the area to go to where Snow and Lightning had just been.

"What's going on?" Snow asked, directing the question to Vanille. The young girl chewed her lip nervously, perhaps a bit afraid to talk about her friend while she was absent.

"Fang's been acting weird," Hope responded instead. "She's been really quiet and kind of zoning out a lot. Dunno why. We were telling jokes, and I even called her an old harpy, and she didn't do anything." He stood up from the ground and brushed his hands off on his shorts. "How is Light?"

"She's fine, as always," Snow said nonchalantly, taking a seat by Sazh's arm. "You know how she is," he added, noting the knowing nod that Hope gave as a response.

"Do you think Sazh'll be up in time to save Cocoon?" Hope said, sitting next to Snow. Vanille took the spot on the opposing side of the giant.

"'course. He's a tough old man. He'll probably be awake by tomorrow." They sat in silence for awhile, remembering the events of the day, until the silence was interrupted.

Vanille raised her arm up in the air. "He threw up on my arm. It kinda burned."

Sure enough, her skin was a bit red where she pointed.

"She wants you to feel sorry for her," Hope teased, poking his head around Snow's frame to grin at Vanille.

"I do not!"

"Yuh-huh. You've been complaining about that for for_ever._"

Vanille's face turned a bit red as she held her breath, perhaps holding in some curses as well. "At least _I _didn't get yelled at by Lightning!" Vanille retorted, and Snow, deeming this a rather low blow, thought to remind the young girl that Hope, at least, hadn't been _slapped _by Lightning, but thought better of it when Hope countered her response with a statement of his own.

Snow grinned as the two kids exchanged insults and teasing back and forth for many minutes, until it eventually got to the point where Vanille had Hope pinned to the ground with her Binding Rods, demanding an apology for Hope saying that she must have skinned all the dogs on Pulse to get all the fur she wore. Hope refused to apologize, of course, which caused their friendly debate to escalate into a furious tickling match that Hope had no chance of winning.

"Tell the damn kids to shut the hell up."

"They're having fun," Snow said defensively.

"I'm trying to sleep."

"Well—wait, Sazh?" Snow spun sharply around and kneeled over the old pilot, hoping that he wasn't just having a conversation with a disembodied voice. "You…no way you're awake. You're supposed to be unconscious. You lost too much blood!"

Hope and Vanille were being too noisy in the distance to really know what was going on, so Snow was by himself. He had to lean close to Sazh to hear what he had to say. "It's been a hell of a day," he mumbled, his eyes tightly closed. "Hell of a day," he repeated. "I feel like shit, and I think I deserve to get drunk."

Snow laughed quietly, resting back easily, thrilled that his friend was, for now, back in the conscious realm. "If it makes you feel any better, Lightning was straddling you and Fang gave you mouth-to-mouth."

One brown eye peered up at Snow. "That's one mean joke you're playing," he said severely. When he saw the sincerity in Snow's eyes, he groaned. "Shit, man, why the hell didn't you wake me up for that?"

"We were trying. You were sort of dead."

"Huh. Well, that's good. Maybe I'll get some real action once I get better; you know, since I almost died and all."

"You did die. We brought you back," Snow corrected.

"Even better!"

Snow chuckled again, then, in a low voice, told Sazh the chain of events that had eventually restored his life to him.

"Huh," Sazh muttered, once the tale was spun. "Never imagined Soldier Girl'd be the one to rescue me. Figured she'd be the first one to stab my brain, if she had the chance."

"You and everyone else here," Snow added.

Sazh released a long breath and readjusted his head to make himself more comfortable. "I feel weird. Like…all this magic is inside me. I can…It's like I can _feel _Vanille and Hope's spells doing their thing, and then there's this weird electricity—must be Light's—buzzing around in my chest." He closed his eyes again. "Some weird-ass shit going on," he said quietly, but no more words came from him after that. Just soft snores.

_Maybe today won't turn out half-bad, _Snow thought, rummaging through his pack to find a moth-eaten blanket for Sazh. He laid it over the man as he considered what else the day could have in store, which was when Lightning and Fang appeared around the corner. Lightning was stopped by an accented voice saying her name, and when she turned, Fang seemed to be a bit…unFang-like. Fang rubbed her own shoulder, and, if Snow's ability to read mouth's was any good, he could have sworn he saw Fang tell Lightning "Thanks," before she walked towards Sazh.

Lightning, too, seemed surprised, but in typical Lightning fashion she just shrugged it off and followed Fang's footsteps back to where the everyone was gathered. Snow watched Lightning as she, in turn, watched Hope and Vanille's going-ons, which now included practicing the effectiveness of their silence spells on each other. She shook her head and took a seat near to Snow. "Any stirrings from him?" she asked.

"Yeah. He was awake a minute ago, cursing like a sailor."

"Really?" Fang said, and upon Snow's affirming nod, she burst into relieved laughter. "Dumb old man," she said lightly, jostling him carefully with her finger. He grumbled, turned his head away from all the noise, and returned to his slumber.

"He shouldn't even be conscious yet," Lightning said suspiciously, eyeing Snow as if he may have lied.

Snow was just as puzzled. "That's what I said. He just mentioned that he felt weird…like he could feel everyone's magic working in him."

"He's lost too much blood, he shouldn't—"

Fang interrupted Lightning. "We're l'Cie. Nothing's made sense in our journey so far…why start trying to make sense of things now?" She grinned at Lightning's disgruntled frown. "We're different than normal people. Let's just roll with that."

"Some of us," Lightning amended, "are more different than others." With a smirk towards Fang, the soldier turned and used a curative spell on the two younglings, who had silenced each other simultaneously.

"Damn," Fang snapped her fingers. "The quiet was nice."

"You're right!" Hope grinned. He said something, very quietly, and they all watched as a gleaming of purplish light flew towards Fang. "The quiet _is _nice!"

Fang tried to speak, but discovered that she could not. Hope, triumphant, smiled innocently. "Payback for all the times you gave me the wrong fruit for dinner, harpy!" He and Vanille exchanged high-fives, but soon ran off in terror when Fang jumped to her feet, lance in hand, and chased after the two mercilessly.

Snow jerked a thumb towards Hope. "I like him."

"Told you he was a good kid."

Snow smiled and watched as Hope's legs were swept out from under him by Fang, whose mouth was moving ceaselessly, silently. "What'd you and Fang talk about?"

"Can't tell," Lightning said, smiling. "Secret."

"Oh? What, are you two friends or something now?"

Lightning nearly grinned, but quickly hid it. "Nah. We just understand each other a bit better." She watched as Vanille turned traitor and removed the silence spell from Fang, much to Hope's distress. "She was just a little frazzled after Sazh nearly…y'know. We talked about it, and that's that."

"Sounds like friends to me."

She took out her bedroll and laid it out on the cement, grabbing Snow's after hers was set up. "Maybe," Lightning shrugged.

Snow's thoughts about Fang and Lightning's possible friendship disappeared when he saw Lightning lay out Snow's bedroll beside hers. His eyes rose to meet hers, and he received a scolding. "Warmth only. No funny ideas."

"Never," he grinned.

He didn't tell her that those funny ideas were already stampeding through his skull.

_Yeah. Today isn't half-bad._


	21. Monsters

**Si's Note: **Man. Between computer issues, visiting in-laws, and FanFiction not working I've been unable to post this chapter for the last week and a half. Ah well, I guess it's here now, so…viola?

Also, I've gotten a couple examples of songs that coincide nicely with this story. C-Flare mentioned one by Ayumi Hamasaki called "About You", and another one called "Never Knew I Needed You" by Ne-Yo was brought up by an anonymous user. Check 'em out if you feel like it!

Also-Also: Best review from last time: "am craving the next chapter more than world peace."

So, anyway...yeah. Please enjoy this chapter, and feel free to leave a review! I do love them!

* * *

The still air of the night was punctuated occasionally by shrill sirens and automatic weapons firing sporadically, the two sounds following one after the other. No doubt they were the sounds of war: the sirens to warn the people of impending danger and the gunshots to ward said danger away. Occasionally there were roars from beasts, war cries from another world, voices that none, save the six l'Cie, were familiar with. Lightning found that she could identify most of the beasts by their calls, but that brought her no comfort throughout the night. She knew that each fiend was a formidable foe and that, to the untrained citizens that were now being attacked, the monsters would almost certainly be a death sentence.

Her head lifted slightly, peering beyond her shoulder to the area where Sazh still rested near the concrete partition that separated their nook from the highway. She watched Sazh for a minute, noting his shallow breathing and the winces that would occur whenever he took a breath too deep. He was pale still, and colder to the touch than Lightning cared for him to be.

Hope, who was on watch, had been checking on him occasionally throughout the night. Lightning taught him how to feel for a strong pulse, taught him what a dangerously weak pulse felt like, taught him healthy breathing patterns and other such things that were easy to spot medically but could potentially save the life of their weakened ally if he were to succumb to his wounds yet again. Hope, ever diligent, would run down his makeshift checklist every twenty minutes or so, his hands finding the gentle folds of Sazh's neck where the old man's pulse could be found. Lightning watched as he counted slowly, nodded, and then continued down to the man's chest, where he listened for a healthy breath. He, too, must have noticed its weakness, because the boy bit his lip and glanced hesitantly towards Lightning, contemplating, perhaps, if he should wake her.

Strong arms currently held her flush against Snow's body; their bedrolls were hardly indistinguishable from each other. His head was half-hidden beneath tendrils of rosy locks, his nose was tickling the back of Lightning's neck. Her cheeks reddening, Lightning tried her best to shuffle away from the giant, lifting his hand and gently placing it aside so she could escape from his clutches. She found that the task was much harder than it should have been, and after several minutes of silent struggling she was finally free from his hold. She sat up using nothing more than her abdominal muscles and glanced quickly towards Snow when he stirred in his slumber. He mumbled something, rubbed absently at his nose, and then tucked his hand beneath his head and fell back to his dreams.

With a soft sigh she stood, catching Hope's eye as she did so, and met the boy at the far end of their sanctuary, sitting just as a behemoth bellowed in the distance. The two of them listened to the gunshots that followed, seemingly lasting forever, and then the sounds of war ceased yet again.

"Busy night for PSICOM," Lightning commented, "but at least they're not after us at the moment."

Hope smiled wearily. "They would be if they knew where we were," he said, still hovering over Sazh's body. Lightning watched as his hands emitted a soft glow that seeped through the elder man's clothes into his body. "He's not doing as well as I thought he'd be…"

Lightning nodded and continued to watch Hope do his magic. "What's your diagnosis?"

Hope couldn't help but grin. "Well, I'm not a doctor—"

"One of the best that we have," Lightning said with a small sense of pride.

"Well, there are only six of us, and Vanille's the best medic we have so I'm not so sure that's a compliment." He returned his attention to his patient. "But his heartbeat seems to be okay, I think, but his breathing isn't normal. It's not deep enough."

Lightning watched Sazh breathe again—several shallow breaths, followed by a deep inhalation that was accompanied by a wince. "Some of his breaths are deep, just not the majority."

Hope nodded. "Yeah, I know. But whenever he breathes deep, he looks like he's in a lot of pain…"

Lightning nodded again. "You're right. So, whenever he breathes deeply he's in pain, and so he breathes shallowly to spare himself. Occasionally, though, he needs more oxygen than what he's getting, so the deep breath…" She shrugged her shoulders. "Think about it: what happened to him that would cause that reaction?"

Hope looked at her, puzzled, then glanced back to Sazh. "It wouldn't be his wound: that wasn't deep enough to affect his breathing, and it's mostly healed." He pursed his lips in thought.

Lightning hid a small smile: she enjoyed such training exercises. She often was ordered to train younger recruits that needed special attention back when she was a member of the GC. She had always pretended that such tasks annoyed her, but in truth she found them enjoyable. It wasn't that she liked teaching: she just delighted in seeing her trainee grow more confident in their abilities as time went on. Nobody wanted a comrade that didn't believe in themselves, after all…

"You broke his ribs!" Hope said suddenly. "They're probably not completely healed yet—the healing spells might be going to other damaged areas first, so-"

"He's uncomfortable, but probably just fine." She nodded respectfully towards Hope. "You're a better medic than you think. You did good."

He grinned brightly at her, happily, but his joy was interrupted by an unusually loud, terrifyingly close, howl from a beast that Lightning could not place. Her eyes darted to Hope, who was rooted to his spot, listening intently. He seemed paler than normal, and his lips were drawn tight with worry. He, too, looked to Lightning and arched an eyebrow, silently mouthing: _what was that?_

Lightning ignored his question and listened more closely. She couldn't _hear _anything, but she felt...

Lowering herself to the ground, Lightning pressed an ear to the cold, unforgiving concrete beneath her. She raised a hand to stop Hope, who had stood, and with furrowed brows she concentrated with all her might.

Sure enough, she felt the reverberations of giant footsteps and heard the vibrations that each step sent through the ground. Whatever made that sound was big: bigger than she was comfortable with. Immediately her thoughts flew to the giant, turtle-like dinosaurs on Pulse. They had never fought one of those: would they be able to handle it here, in the cramped spaces that they were confined to? It would be one thing if they were in the open with a viable escape route, but here…

It gave a second roar, this time coming from about a hundred yards further than the first. It was beyond them now; they had gone unnoticed for the time being. Hope, relieved, slunk back against the wall. Lightning followed suit.

"The hell was that?" Fang whispered harshly from her spot, not more than three feet away. Her head bobbed up from behind Sazh's shoulder, and Lightning could see the alertness in the tribeswoman's eyes.

"No idea," Lightning whispered back. "But it's not our problem anymore."

Fang grunted and adjusted her furry pillow, fluffing it roughly for good measure. "It's not now, but judging by our luck it sure as hell will be tomorrow. Stupid PSICOM bastards will probably piss themselves when they see it, run for cover, and leave us to do all the dirty work of defending the planet that we supposedly came to destroy."

"Somebody's in a bad mood," Hope muttered under his breath.

Fang's head shot back up. "My beauty sleep was interrupted by some obnoxious little monster. Why should I be in a good mood?" With an irritated sigh she lay back down, and within a few minutes where Hope and Lightning remained utterly silent, Fang was back to softly snoring.

"I really don't like her most of the time," Hope mumbled to Lightning, fiddling with his fingers. "She's so annoying. I don't know how you can _not _beat her up, Light."

Lightning tried to come up with some wise or considerate response, but at the end she gave Hope a wry smile. "Honestly, I don't know, either."

Hope chuckled to himself for a bit and then resumed nervously toying with his hands. He watched Sazh breathe for awhile, and he must have grown bored with it as he eventually decided to ask Lightning a question. "What do you think you'll do once all this is over?"

Biting the inside of her cheek, Lightning mulled over an answer. "Dunno. Maybe go back to Pulse with Fang and Vanille or something. I doubt the GC would want me back. Cocoon…I don't think I could live here, not after everything that's happened, so Gran Pulse is really the only option left."

He was still for a few moments, but his eyes were wide with concern. "You're not going to stay?"

Lightning shook her head.

"But…but we all need you!"

She sighed, not wanting to have this same conversation twice in the same day. "Hope, you guys don't need me. You all have families to go back to—"

"I have my _dad _to go to! What about my friends? I want to see them, too! If you go to Pulse, I'll…" his voice lifted to a higher pitch than normal, and he swallowed hard. "You're the only friend I have. You _can't _go away, Light."

Lightning recalled their conversation in Oerba about Hope being the awkward kid at school, the nerd that was always picked on. Of course he wouldn't have many friends, and though she doubted that he had _no _friends, his words still stung. She had, after all, been mostly absent from Serah's life once their parents had died. Lightning had been too busy climbing through the ranks of the GC, too busy ensuring she had enough money to see Serah through college to be with her. She had neglected her own sister, and now Hope, her second-chance of sorts, would be put into the same situation Serah had been, only there was no older sibling to care for him. Just a dad that had been mostly absent from his life to begin with.

"I won't be far away," she said lightly. "And whenever you need me or when you want to visit, all you have to do is call."

Hope's eyes were misted over, but he jutted out his jaw defiantly, refusing to succumb to the tears that threatened to fall. "Why are you leaving us?"

"I'm _not _leaving you, Hope. I won't. I just can't stay here."

"Why?"

"Because I can't."

"It's because of Snow and Serah, isn't it?" Hope said, almost bitterly. "You don't want to stay because of them?"

Narrowed, angry eyes shot to Hope. "It doesn't matter why—"

"Snow wants to be with you, Lightning! Serah can find other places to go—we all want you to stay with us! We _need _you to stay with us!"

"The only one that needs me to stay, Hope, seems to be you," she said coolly. "And I doubt you need me. You'll be fine with your dad."

Hope buried his head in his hands, grief-stricken. "Light…people need you a lot more than you think. You didn't realize Serah needed you until it was too late, did you? I'm _telling _you that I do—that we do—and you won't listen to me!"

"How the hell do you know that about Serah?" Lightning growled.

"Everybody knows! You think we're so stupid, that we don't realize anything, but we all see it! We all know it! We care about you!"

Lightning inhaled deeply, fighting to remain in control of her emotions. They seemed to be getting out of hand lately, doing things of their own accord without her consent. She hadn't intended on kissing Snow earlier, but she was so full of guilt and relief and all sorts of emotions that she couldn't name that she just wasn't able to help herself. She hadn't intended on crying, either, and the thought that she actually had cried, in front of Snow no less, shamed her beyond belief.

Now, though, anger was trying to fuel her actions: anger that a little boy was talking to her like she was a child; anger that he and everyone else seemed to know about her guilt; anger over the fact that he was trying to guilt her into staying and, damn it all, how the hell did he get to know her so well?

And how dare the little runt say that Serah can go live somewhere else when all was said and done! He didn't know about the situation—well, no, he _did, _he just didn't really understand it. How could he? He was only fourteen! Lightning could barely wrap her head around it all, and so if she couldn't, then this little kid surely wouldn't even be able to grasp the fundamentals of her predicament!

_But he said that Snow cared about me…_

She internally chastised herself for the thought. The concept that Snow could care about Lightning more than Serah was something that she refused to actually believe. It just didn't seem logical to her.

_No, it did seem logical, but that changed_.

Up until a few days ago, he still wore their engagement necklace. Just a few days ago he had allowed a shadow of Serah to run into his arms. Sure, Snow had defended himself and given good reasons, but Lightning just couldn't accept it, no matter how badly she wanted to. It was easier to deny the words that Snow spoke, to convince herself that his words simply were not believable. She had learned in her training that the thing most likely to be the truth was the thing that was the most likely to occur, the thing that was easiest to understand. His feelings for Lightning being stronger than those for Serah was not an easy thing to grasp (after all, he had asked Serah to marry him, but he could barely admit to Lightning that he wanted to be with her). Instead of believing, then, she just opted to play along with his silly game until she was proven right. She figured two weeks would be enough time for _that._

It was undeniable that her heart, and her body, craved the brute, but in the end she knew that Snow wouldn't be there for her. She knew Snow would return to Serah—and when had she ever been wrong? Or even if he did stay, something bad would inevitably happen to Snow like it had to all the others, which was something Lightning could not accept. But it seemed as if her points of logic wouldn't sink into Snow's thick skull, which wasn't really a surprise, but nor would he heed her obvious attempts to brush him off and to ignore him. Each time she did so hurt both of them more than she cared to admit, no matter how cool she tried to act after each verbal berating, and so she had taken a different route to get things done: she had decided to give Snow what he wanted. Agree to his terms, follow his lead, suffer from a bit of heartbreak, and then at the end she'd be consoled by the idea that she had been right from the beginning. It lacked a romantic flair, and a happy ending, but then again she was used to such things. It never bothered her before, and she wasn't about to let the concept bother her now.

It was better than acting as if she didn't care, it would grant her some much-desired time with Snow, and it would produce the same result in the end anyway.

Another few calming breaths later Lightning had recomposed herself in front of Hope. "I care about all of you, too, but you have to understand that I can't stay here. It has nothing to do with Snow and everything to do with how we've been treated since we became l'Cie. I cannot, and will not, live side-by-side with the people that so readily tried to kill us and Serah. I'm not that forgiving of a person to begin with," she shrugged. "Right now they'd kill us as soon as they saw us, despite how we're trying to save their lives. Twenty-four hours or so from now we'll be saviors, but will they realize what we've done? I don't think so. I think they'll still hate us; me especially, considering my former career. I'll be the most visible, and it'd be safer for everyone if I disappeared."

"So…you're not running away? You're protecting us?" Hope sounded doubtful, and Lightning wondered when he got the balls to question what she said.

"I suppose so, in a way. I also just don't want to be on Cocoon anymore. I liked Pulse."

Hope nodded slowly at her words, finally seeming to accept them. "I liked Pulse a lot, too, even though we almost died a thousand times. I especially liked Oerba. It was nice there. Kinda creepy, but peaceful, you know?"

Lightning nodded. She understood him perfectly.

"Maybe we can all go there," Hope began slowly. "You, Fang, Vanille…I can convince my dad to come, too, so I can join you guys. Maybe Dajh and Sazh…and anyone else that wants to join us." He thought about this prospect for awhile. "Maybe we all could restore the town. Do you think Vanille and Fang would like that?"

"Yeah, I think they would," Lightning said with a tired sigh. She could argue more with Hope, say that he would be better off on Cocoon, but what point would there be in that? His dad would talk sense into him or, more likely, he'd forget about the idea once things settled back down. Either way, it wasn't worth a debate.

"It's settled then! We'll go there, together." As an afterthought, he added in, "Promise?"

Lightning merely smiled at him, not wanting to give the young boy any false hope. She wasn't one to promise things that she knew would not be delivered, and she did not want to have Hope look forward to something that would never occur.

She stood and stated that she needed to get back to bed. "If you need anything," she added, "then you know where to find me. Don't hesitate to wake me up."

Hope nodded earnestly. "Okay. Thanks for the company, Light."

With a wave of her hand she dismissed the thanks, then settled back into her bedroll with a wide yawn. She was more tired than she thought, but of course sleep would be denied to her for the time being.

"Sounds nice: all of us in Oerba, together," Snow rumbled behind her. "You should have agreed to it."

Lightning squirmed uneasily in her spot. "I thought you were sleeping." It was more of an accusation than a question, really.

"I was. Kinda hard to sleep when some big-ass creeper starts roaring as it moseys on by, and especially hard when Fang opens her big mouth to complain. I've been awake since."

"Spying?" She hissed, casting a dark glare over her shoulder.

"No. Eavesdropping." She heard the crackle of his lips splitting into a devious grin.

Lightning groaned and tugged her blankets up over her shoulders but Snow wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her close. She didn't want to be there: her mind screamed against it, telling her to be strong and correct Snow, to pull away, but everything else in her being just said _shut the hell up and let me do what I want._

Snow nuzzled her neck with his nose, and soon whatever will her mind had left to fight disappeared. She was tired of being strong, of standing alone. Right now, she wanted to be held by the man she came to admire; by the man that she was forbidden to have.

"I don't blame you for wanting to leave," Snow whispered quietly. "I mean, I don't really care for the idea of staying on Cocoon either, not after everything that's happened. I think the others probably feel the same way…and I think that Hope might have a good idea. The Oerba thing. Don't you think?"

Lightning mumbled something that may have been an affirmation, but she didn't want it to be too clear.

"Sazh and Dajh could live in that workshop and tinker around with all that shit in there. Fang and Vanille could teach little Dajh about Gran Pulse; you could probably teach him how to beat things up and heal people and, you know, how to do all that useful stuff that you know how to do. Hope and his dad…well, I don't know what they could do, but I'm sure they'd be useful at something."

Hope's dad probably wouldn't be useful for much, but she was certain there would be many things that Hope would excel at, if only he were taught. She mentioned as much to Snow, who laughed quietly. "True enough, I guess."

"What about you?" She whispered, curious what the brute would do in his spare time.

"Kick ass and chew bubblegum?"

"Lamest joke ever, Snow."

"Fine, fine," he gave an over-the-top sigh and let his hand travel slowly over the curve of Lightning's waistline. "I dunno what I'd do. I'm not good at much, but I guess I could be the security of the town." He pressed his lips against her neck, and she felt him smile softly into her skin. "It'd be nice to come home after a hard day's work to see the missus, who would greet me with a loving kiss instead of a punch or something."

Lightning frowned.

Snow, however continued with the thought. "Lightning—no, Claire—Villiers."

Her frown deepened.

"Claire Villiers," he let the name roll off his tongue. "Kinda…posh sounding. Rich. It flows really well. Maybe it's meant to be?"

Lightning's body went rigid, and Snow realized his error too late.

"Look, Light, I'm—"

"Snow, knock it off. This isn't the time to be talking about that kind of thing. Besides, you're still technically engaged to my sister, and we're not even…I mean, we've just—"

"I got it," he said.

"No, you don't!"

Instead of getting angry or defensive, Snow gave a resigned sigh. "Light, stop. Sorry for upsetting you. It was all in good fun."

_Good fun?_

"I won't mention it again, okay? But, really, you need to stop doubting everything I say. It's aggravating."

Lightning was still stiff, still annoyed, but tonight was not the night to carry on with such things. There was an impending battle with Orphan approaching, and entering it with hurt feelings towards one another, or being angry with each other, would help no one. Knowing this, she swallowed the several biting comments that demanded to be said and instead gave a short, curt nod that Snow could see. "Sorry."

"No harm done!" Snow said happily. "So…bed time?"

She gave another nod.

"All right! Let's get our sleep on, then!" With that, he twirled Lightning around onto her opposite side so that the two were face-to-face. He smiled softly down at her, his stubble scratching against the forearm he used as a pillow. A thick finger brushed the hair from her face, traced her jaw, then grabbed Lightning's shoulder and pulled her close. "G'night, Lightning," he said, his voice muffled by Lightning's thick hair. "I'm looking forward to seeing you in the morning."

Lightning responded with a simple, "Yeah, you too." She listened to his steady breathing become deeper until he fell asleep, listened as the world around them seemed to become still during the darkest part of the night. She knew that she should be cold, that she should be worried over their fates to come, knew that she should feel guilty about what she was doing, but all she could concentrate on was how warm Snow was. His arms were comforting when they encircled her body, and the only thing she desired more than their l'Cie nightmare to end was that this—she and Snow, together—could be her reality, because she felt, more strongly than ever before, that this was how it was meant to be.

* * *

Destruction lined the highway of Cocoon: evidence of battles hours-old lay strewn everywhere. Cars were smashed; their windshields broken in and the metal crumpled like paper. The people were, for the most part, long-gone, but some had not been lucky enough to escape. There had been a few instances where Lightning, scouting out the area further ahead of the others, had to quickly run back and divert the course of the five behind her to spare the younger two the sight of broken and bloodied bodies that could be found here and there. Mostly the dead consisted of the men of Eden, but at one point she saw two teens lying near each other, male and female, the lower half of their bodies crushed into an indecipherable mess. At this Lightning held back the bile that rose in her throat, then jogged back to the others and ensured that Hope and Vanille walked by without looking at the gory mess to their right, even though the stench was horrid enough to pervade their nostrils and clue them in to what it was they were trying to avoid.

Fang didn't seem too disturbed by the sights, but Snow, being nothing more than a softie at heart, was deeply distressed by the images. His eyes were lined with tears whenever they passed another corpse, and Lightning knew that he probably felt guilty for being unable to save these poor souls. He, like she, probably wondered if the lives of these innocent citizens could have been spared had they dragged Sazh with them the night before instead of resting. Would their rest end up causing more destruction than good?

Of course, they should have still been resting today. Sazh was hardly in any shape to travel: his breathing was still labored, and his wounds, though no longer open, were still sore. He was woozy whenever he stood, or if he exerted himself too much, so many protective measures had to be taken to ensure that he remained safe. Still, him traveling was an unwise decision for his own health.

The reason they decided to leave was much the same as the reason Lightning had to scout ahead of the others. When morning came Fang had risen and told Hope to go take a break for a minute, which he did willingly. He ran onto the highway, looking for a decent place to relieve himself, and upon finding the prime location he also found a broken car. Interested, he finished eliminating and then turned to examine the vehicle, only to find a husband and wife, dead, on the outside of the passenger's side of the vehicle. They bore wounds similar to Sazh's, only much deeper and with organs that were supposed to be inside pouring out.

Hope returned to camp in tears, a small trail of vomit splattered on the outside of his glove and, ignoring Fang, he ran to Lightning to shake her awake. She listened to his tale, waiting patiently between quiet sobs and hiccups, and upon learning what he had witnessed she threw her hard exterior to the wind and wrapped him into a tight embrace. Snow, who had been listening, did the same, causing Hope to lose any and all control of his tears. The three of them sat there, hugging each other, swaying gently back and forth for some time. By the time they separated, everyone, including Sazh, was awake and the story had been relayed by Fang to them.

"We're going. Now," Sazh said grimly, standing uneasily to his feet. Vanille began to protest, but Sazh cut her off. "People are dying, Vanille. We can't sit here on our asses and do nothing. I don't give a shit if I have to hobble along a mile behind you: we're going, now, and that's final."

And, with that, they had gathered their things and set out to continue their journey, only to find a mess of dead bodies along the way.

Sazh, sitting in an ancient velocycle that Lightning had found soon after departing from their nook, shouted from the back of the group that he could see the distant outline of one of the dinosaurs far ahead. Lightning was hardly surprised by this: it was more than likely the source of the ruckus from last night. With a nod of affirmation that she had heard Sazh's words,Lightning kept charging forward.

After about an hour of jogging up the highway, the bodies lining the streets began to appear less often and finally they disappeared altogether. She wasn't sure why this was the case, but she was thankful for it all the same. Another mile or two forward and Lightning paused in her tracks, shielding her eyes to gaze ahead.

"I see people," she said. "Alive. There's a lot of them, too." There were probably hundreds gathered beneath a canopied section of the highway, all huddled together protectively.

Fang joined her at her side, mimicking Lightning's stance. "There certainly are a lot of 'em," she said quietly. "How well do you think people can recognize us?"

"Probably not very well," Vanille said from behind. "They didn't recognize Snow until the camera spotted the brand. As long as we can hide those, I think we'll be okay."

Sazh grunted. "I don't wanna be attacked by a bunch of crazed idiots, but we gotta get through...I guess we don't have much of a choice," he sighed, buttoning up his shirt. Snow removed his bandana and wrapped it around his brand, mussing up his hair for good measure. Hope tugged his gloves up higher and Vanille tugged her skirt down slightly.

"That's totally not going to work, Vanille," Hope smiled weakly. Vanille stomped her foot and pretended to be angry, but in all reality they were thrilled that Hope had said anything at all: he had been silent since this morning.

"What about Fang's?" Snow asked, motioning towards the mucked-up brand on the Pulsian's shoulder. Fang merely shrugged.

"Damn cool tattoo, don't you think?" she said, showing off the tribal pattern with a wave of her hand. "Got it the other day at Palumpolum for a great price."

Lightning rolled her eyes. "If that works then I will lose any and all faith in the human race."

Fang flashed a smirk. "I lost that a long time ago, Sunshine."

With a sigh Lightning turned and began trudging forward, towards the people, with Hope tight at her side. "I hope this works," he said quietly, nervously. Lightning just lay a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

"It will."

They walked slowly through the crowds, trying not to cause any undue suspicion. It was hard, though, considering the members of their group: they had a giant of a man in a trench coat, a black man with an afro and a chocobo in his hair, a young girl wearing hardly any clothing, and a tall and tanned woman with a large lance and strange clothes. Lightning swore that she and Hope were the only somewhat-normal ones of the group, and she cursed the others for their horrible sense of fashion and for their need to stand out.

"We need to split up," she said quietly, watching the quizzical and cautious glares of the people of Cocoon. "I think people suspect us."

"Who goes with who?"

"Fang, go with Snow. Sazh, take Vanille."

"…the hell is a black man on a velocycle supposed to do with a little white girl? I'll look like some pedophile!" Sazh whispered loudly.

"Fine. Fang, go with Sazh. Vanille, go with Snow."

"She's half my height! If anybody would look like a pedophile—"

Lightning turned around and gave Snow a pointed stare. "Really, Snow?"

"I'm just as tall as Serah was!" Vanille pouted, crossing her arms. "You didn't complain _then!"_

"Point taken. Come on, Vanille," Snow sighed

The two walked to the right and, to add to the effect, Vanille tried to take Snow's arm in her own, but he shook her off and shoved her slightly aside. Lightning then turned to watch Fang and Sazh go to the left, where they looked horribly odd together: Fang had to walk quickly to keep up with Sazh's vehicle, and the two were such a strange sight that they were turning many heads.

Lightning groaned. "This is never going to work. They look like freaks of nature."

Hope took Lightning's arm. "Knowing Fang, she'll open her big mouth and get us all in trouble, so we should probably get heading out before we're figured out."

Lightning nodded and started forward again, weaving through the crowds of people who were too busy complaining about their fate to do anything about it. She found herself growing more annoyed as she passed more people: everyone wondered why they had to endure such a fate, why they had to be stuck in such a situation, but not _once _did someone try to do something to rectify the wrongs that had been done to them. Honestly, were they all that pathetic? Did the six l'Cie have to do _everything? _

They saw an end to the tunnel, and Lightning's mood lifted slightly. They were almost there. Just a little ways more to go! The others hadn't been spotted yet! They were—

"You're GC, aren't you?"

Lightning's pace quickened. She was practically dragging Hope along beside her.

"Wait—you're GC! I can tell by your shoulder plate—hey, stop! Why the hell are you running? Stop!"

She felt the eyes of several people land on her, and the crowds seemed to draw closer together, pinning her in. It could have been her imagination, but it seemed far too real…

Instinctively her hand itched towards the hilt of her gunblade. "What do you want?" She directed the question towards the voice that had spoken to her, although she was unsure who, exactly, it had been.

"You're GC! Why are you running? You're supposed to be saving us from this mess!"

The crowd around her whispered to each other, and she felt their accusing glares land on her.

"I'm working on it," Lightning huffed, her eyes scanning the crowd for her accuser. She couldn't find him, there were so many people…

In the background she saw Sazh and Fang, both of whom had stopped to watch the proceedings. She jerked her head towards the tunnel opening discretely, and, understanding, they quietly continued on their way. _How the hell did they make it out without being spotted? This is absolute crap._

"I'm on official business," Lightning continued. "So please stand aside—"

"Like hell I will! GC works for the city—you're not under the Primarch's orders! Do something! Save us!"

"I'm trying, damn it!"

"Wait," a woman's voice said, and Lightning spun around to spy a middle-aged lady step forward. She wore an atrocious flowered dress that was dyed in uncomplimentary colors and the very sight of it assaulted Lightning's vision. "I recognize you from the TV…Primarch Raines was talking about you."

Others began nodding their heads slowly, mumbling, recognizing Lightning's face now. Whatever Raines had run about her, it had certainly been effective.

"Light, we need to go now," Hope whispered, tugging on her arm. He glanced nervously towards her.

"I need to get to Eden Plaza to—"

"She's the l'Cie!" one man shouted, and upon this revelation the entire crowd began crying out in alarm, pointing accusing fingers as many backed away.

"This is all your fault!" Another man cried. "My wife is dead, and it's all because of you!"

"You brought these monsters here! You brought this on us!"

"You're trying to kill us!"

"Monsters!"

"Light!" Hope cried, pulling close to her side. She looked down to him, saw the genuine fear in his eyes, and she decided enough was enough

She whipped her blade out, flashing it before the crowd and waving it threateningly back and forth. "You idiots have no idea what you're talking about," she hissed, jerking her wrist so that her blade transformed into a gun. The crowd in front of her gasped and pushed backwards, away from the tall, crazed woman that stood before their eyes. "I'm not here to kill you, even though you seem to think otherwise." She and Hope took a step backwards, towards where Sazh and Fang were heading. "We don't want to hurt you, but we've got bigger fish to fry. If you try and get in our way—"

Hope cried out Lightning's name, and as he did so she felt a cold blast on the back of her neck. She spun sharply to see an ice shard blasting through the air, digging itself deeply into the shoulder of a man that was only a few paces away from the two of them. A knife had fallen to his feet.

The crowd began to scream and run away at Hope's magical l'Cie display. Lightning took advantage of the chaos and grabbed Hope's hand, lowering her head and charging directly through the crowd to get away. Hope, panting, interlaced his fingers with hers.

"Thanks for the save," she called over her shoulder to him.

"He was going to kill you. I should have killed _him_," he shouted back, a dark tone to his voice. It disturbed Lightning, to say the least.

"No. You spared him. Now he has to wonder why you didn't kill him—now everyone has to. We could have done it, easily, but you chose not to. Hopefully that'll make them reconsider their views about us deadly l'Cie."

Hope _hmphed _loudly but said no more.

They both were breathing heavily once they reached the end of the highway. It was free of people, since they all were still screaming in terror and huddling together for safety again far behind them. The other four l'Cie were already there, waiting.

"And you thought _I _would be the reason we'd get caught," Fang said, folding her arms across her chest. "Looks like you were wrong."

Snow was looking her over for wounds from a distance, but Lightning shook her head towards him. "I'm fine: Hope saved me from some guy that was going to stab me. We're both fine."

Snow sighed in relief, then held out a hand for Hope. "Thanks, man. I owe you one."

Hope shook Snow's hand solemnly. "Yeah, you kinda do."

"How 'bout we focus on all the niceness later," Sazh said, the motor of his velocycle purring as he slowly turned. "Looks like we got us some silver-haired punk that needs an ass-whupping."

Lightning's head whipped up and, to her dismay, she saw a far-too familiar face. "Yaag," she said under her breath, none too happy to see her former instructor standing before her now.

Yaag Rosch had always been a man that was passionate about his duty, but now it seemed that his actions were driven more by his hate towards the l'Cie than the duty that he swore to uphold. He was blinded to the truth by his rage, and Lightning knew that, no matter what words were explained, he would not be swayed by any argument. Not now, at least.

"Come on," Lightning said to the group as her blade-arm twitched. "We have another disillusioned idiot to deal with."


	22. Villainous Hero

**Si's Note: **I thank you for all the wonderful reviews that you've sent! I appreciate the time that it takes for you to write one out and send it..I truly do!

I do hope to continue seeing all the awesome reviews and comments. They make my day! So...feel free to leave a comment!

* * *

"Rosch?"

"I see your power has grown, Mr. Villiers."

_Huh. 'Mr. Villiers'. That's a change. Normally it's just 'Villiers', or...or a punch in the face or something.  
_

"No matter. We will lay down our lives if that is what it takes to stop you."

Snow resisted the urge to scratch his head in confusion. "Uh, we're on the same side here? Yeah. We came back to stop all of this."

Yaag shook his head, almost sadly. "Nevertheless, you are l'Cie." At this his body had mysteriously teleported into the _Proudclad_, and Snow had to admit that he was insanely jealous of the teleportation ability. It would have been pretty damn useful on Pulse and could have saved them weeks of travel. "We can trust the pawns no more than the fal'Cie who move them. Humanity's fate rests in its own hands!"

_Yaag…you're such a douchebag. Seriously._

Snow rolled his eyes in exasperation, clutching at the bandana around his arm and scrambling to untie it. His hair was an untidy mess and it continued to fall into his eyes: he could barely stand it, and it simply wouldn't do now that a battle was upcoming. As he worked on securing the knot to the black material, he chanced a glance towards Lightning. She seemed frustrated: her lips were drawn tight and the scowl she wore was nothing short of extraordinary. As her deathly dance began, with her gunblade as her partner, Snow continued to observe that her movements were a bit choppier than normal; jerkier. She was agitated, all right.

_That's strange. Rosch didn't seem to do anything that would have upset her _that _much, did he?_

Snow replaced the cap and charged forward, stopping suddenly and rather unexpectedly to prepare himself for the attack that Yaag was definitely conjuring, judging by the frantic waving of his hands from his pilot seat. He stuck up his middle fingers at Rosch, yelling obscenities about the man and his mother in an attempt to incite the disillusioned idiot's attention towards Snow. He proved to be as successful as Fang in this area, for once, and when he was assured of his accomplishment he began bracing himself for the imminent contact of Yaag's rage. In his peripheral vision he saw Lightning edging to the side of the combat arena, her eyes aflame.

Something was eating at her, but what?

Far too many gun-arms shot out from the sides of the _Proudclad _and aimed themselves solely on Snow. He cursed vehemently at his luck, as he had assumed that the airship would be the wielder of one gun at most, and gritted his teeth once the assault of bullets began. It didn't last long: the bullets all sprang forth at once; a giant burst of gunpowder and flame, and were it not for the inhuman defenses that he had been granted as a l'Cie, he most certainly would have been dead.

"You okay, Trench?" Sazh called from a safe distance, his arms hanging out from the sides of his velocycle as he emptied dual clips into the armored surface of Yaag's airship.

"I'm fine!" Snow called back, shaking his arms out. They were horribly numb, for some reason.

His attention was diverted back to the _Proudclad, _where Lightning was shouting towards the pilot's area. "Rosch! Listen to me! This is pointless—we're not here to harm anyone! Barthandelus is up to something. He's the one pulling the strings to all this!"

"You are a Pulse l'Cie!" Yaag's voice was tinny when it was carried through the ship's speakers. "Your will is not your own—you can serve only your master. I will not have your lies!"

"Dammit, Rosch! Listen to me!" Lightning buried her blade into a feeble section of metal and used it to careen herself in front of the windshield, where Yaag was safely hiding behind. She somehow managed to find a hold, and she hung there, glaring into the ship's depths, her fury on full force. "Dysley's going to murder this whole damn planet if you keep this up!"

Instead of responding the guns attached to the ship swiveled onto Lightning, who hung there without her weapon and was utterly exposed.

"You," Rosch began slowly, and Snow could see him lean forward, his hands resting on the piloting console, to draw nearer to Lightning. "are a Pulse l'Cie. Nothing you say will change that, nor will your words affect the outcome. One of us must die: our goals are conflicting. I will warn you," his hand slammed down on the console, and the guns armed themselves, "it will not be me who falls."

"Shit," Snow spat, sprinting forward as fast as his legs could take him. _He_ could barely withstand that attack, and he was _made _for defense. If Lightning were to get hit, then…

He lowered his head as he ran, but he knew that it was hopeless. He wouldn't make it in time.

She wouldn't make it.

Lightning was punching at the glass with all her might, cursing out Yaag and his stupidity.

She was blinded to what was about to happen.

The guns reared back and were preparing to shoot and Snow shouted Lightning's name. Surprised, Lightning glanced over quickly and saw the guns. She tried to throw herself over to her gunblade, the one friend that she could not abandon, and tried to pull it from the metal she had buried it in, but the blade was sunken in to the metal quite deeply and all her efforts proved to be in vain. The guns had followed her movements exactly and still surrounded her in the same way that they had.

"Watch it, Sunshine!" Fang cried, using her lance as a means to vault herself up to Lightning's level. Arms that Snow knew to be wildly strong gripped Lightning's waist just as the first round was released, and in a too-quick flash, Fang and Lightning were hurtling backwards in space; Lightning without her weapon. "Well, well, look who saved Little Miss You-Could-Never-Save-My-Ass's ass?," Fang taunted, the wind scattering her words. It was impossible to miss the delighted laugh that followed, though.

Once Lightning safely hit the ground, Hope ensured that she was all right and then ran to Snow's side, muttering spells under his breath that erected various protective barriers and strength enhancements onto Snow. It was quite the switch, to be honest: usually Hope purposefully avoided giving Snow such helpful devices. _This must mean we're friends, _Snow thought, biting back a smirk.

"Vanille," Fang began, separating her lance into its three sections, "get closer to Snow! You need a guard, and I'm not gonna be it this time around!" Fang started shoving Vanille in Snow's direction. The young girl was acting the part of a medic, and in between healings she diverted to more offensive spells to assist the attackers along, but now she stumbled and complained about Fang being pushy before trotting over to stand beside Snow.

"Hiya," she said, throwing a fair-sized shard of ice in the _Proudclad's _direction.

"Don't talk to me," Snow grumbled, edging closer to the young girl so he could provide decent protection, if need be. Hope arched a questioning brow at him before beginning to repeat his protective measures on Vanille.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to—"

"It was totally on purpose, Vanille. I don't know what the hell you were trying to accomplish, but I feel…dirty."

"People were looking at us funny! I had to do _something!_"

"That does _not _mean you can grab my ass and try to kiss me, damn it! You look like you're ten, even if you dress like some Pulse stripper!" Snow sighed and rubbed his arm. "People probably thought I was some child moles—"

"I do _not_ look like a Pulse stripper!" Vanille whined, spinning on her heels to poke a tiny finger into Snow's chest.

"Vanille, your skirt barely covers your ass! If the wind blows, then everyone sees—"

"Even though I find this discussion wonderfully enlightening," Sazh called, his bike whirring behind them, "I would suggest you all cover Lightning a bit more than you're doing. She doesn't have her weapon, remember?"

"Oh, shit," Snow mumbled, his eyes scrambling to find Lightning. "I forgot…"

"You do owe me an explanation later, though," Sazh continued. He was reloading his clips. He looked up and saw Snow's eyes purposefully scanning the battlefield. "Lightning's on the other side of Fang, by the way."

The woman was where Sazh said, and she was indeed still weaponless. Thankfully, she was more versatile in her roles than most of the others, and she was just as deadly casting spells as she was wielding her blade. A firestorm, followed by a hailstorm and then deadly bolts, were all flying from her hand in quick succession, her eyes alternating in color with each spell. For every burst of flame, her eyes shone red: for every bolt, the red swirled into a dangerous pale gold. She looked fierce; more so than she had when Hope had gone missing, all those months ago. She seemed as if she wanted nothing more than to see Yaag fall.

Nimble athletics removed her from harm whenever it was necessary. Easy tumbles and rolls were made, even as she was in the middle of casting a spell. It was astonishing to see how much more graceful she was without a sword, especially considering the fluidity with she used the weapon. Slowly, surely, she inched towards the right, out of the _Proudclad_'s view, and once she was a good distance away from the main group, she shot Snow a pointed look, nodding sideways towards her sword.

"We need a distraction," Snow said, loud enough for Vanille and Sazh to hear. Hope had jumped back towards Fang and had begun his typical assault by this point.

"What kind of distraction?" Hope asked from afar.

Sazh rubbed his chin in thought with the rear sight of his pistol. A light-bulb suddenly went off in his mind. "Quick, Vanille! Bend over!"

"You know what?" Vanille turned around. Her face was crimson as she glared coolly at Sazh. "I'm gonna make you bleed."

"Do that _after _Rosch is dead, please," Snow said. "Because, really, we need a distraction. Like, now."

Sazh nodded solemnly. "I got this." He revved his engine and the velocycle lurched forward, shooting towards Yaag's airship. His eyes were narrowed frightfully, bright determination shining forth from his burning gaze. He screwed his mouth into a formidable scowl, and, really, his face was terrifying enough to cause a small child to have an uncontrolled bowel movement. As he charged forth, he spun his pistol between his fingers, then stuck the barrel outside of the velocycle, aiming the gun towards the windshield.

All the sudden movement and manly macho-ness was a bit too much excitement for the rickety old bike. The engine began whimpering and complaining about the abuse it had to endure, and about five feet from the _Proudclad's _side the engine decided that enough was enough, and so it went on strike and stubbornly ceased working.

"What?" Sazh cried, peeking out from the side of the cycle. "This is shit! Come on, you piece of trash! Work!" He leaned forward and, wincing, began tapping on the front of the bike with one of his guns. "Work, damn it!" Turning the key again, the engine pathetically coughed its way back to life, but it was hardly able to move more than a couple miles per hour at best.

Sazh threw himself back in his seat, not even bothering to steer, while the chocobo chick flew in frenzied circles around his head. The velocycle slowly puttered a few feet before the _Proudclad_, and Snow could see the confusion clouding Yaag's face as he watched the proceedings.

The tiny velocycle continued on its way for a few more feet, then sputtered to a stop yet again. Sazh released a loud sigh and rested his head against the back of the seat. "This is about as far from what I had in mind as you can possibly get," he groaned. "I was gonna do some kick-ass stunts, toss a few bullets, you know…act all Lightning-like and shit, but of course that's not what happens. Instead, I'm some injured old man in a shitty little bike that moves slower than a damn dinosaur." He got out of his bike and kicked it over with some gusto, although afterwards he certainly felt the pain of the movement. "Oh, damn it all…" He looked up towards Yaag and cupped his hands over his mouth. "Just do me a favor and shoot me now, you damn fool!"

Yaag seemed to be at a loss. He leaned over and said something to the co-pilot, who merely shrugged his shoulders.

Snow cast a quick look around at the others, seeing if they were hiding their amusement any better than he had. Snow had accidentally snorted in laughter, but that was far less than the others: Vanille was pointing and giggling mercilessly, Hope was grinning like an idiot, and Fang was doubled over in laughter. All in all, nobody seemed to take it all that seriously.

Lightning peeked out from the airship's side, probably drawn to the scene by Fang's obnoxious guffaws, and once she saw the proceedings she rolled her eyes and disappeared again.

Fang trotted forward, trying to catch her breath between random bursts of laughter. Tears lined her eyes and her face was unusually red. "That was the funniest thing I think I've ever seen," she announced, dragging the bike back up from the ground. Sazh fell back into the seat as Fang positioned herself behind the bike.

"I'm so glad I could provide you with so much amusement," Sazh sneered, pocketing his guns. "Get me the hell out of here, woman."

Fang, still chuckling, used her strength to shove Sazh forward, but she didn't stop once they were out of harm's way. She continued pushing Sazh around while the old man groaned and held his head in his hands. Vanille, oblivious as always, clapped her hands and asked if she could join.

_Why is nobody taking this battle seriously? I mean, yeah, we needed a distraction, but…really?_

Hoping that maybe somebody saw Yaag as something similar to a threat, Snow turned to Hope to see what the youth thought of the actions of his elders. Though he was still grinning widely, he had at least drawn his boomerang and laced it with silvery ice, just in case it should have to be used._  
_

Snow chanced a glance back to Yaag, who seemed infuriated by the mockery the three were making of him. He was pressing buttons left and right, but, for some reason, nothing was really happening. Snow was sure that he was cussing out the technicians or pilots on the airship, judging by the pained and annoyed expression of the co-pilot. Everyone was probably wondering what the hell was going on, but, really, they needn't have wondered at all.

Lightning leaned over the top of the airship, hanging upside down in front of the windshield. Snow couldn't see her face, but he did see the many cords that were hanging from a square piece of technology that she held in her hand. He saw Yaag's face switch from fury to loathing to pissed off within two seconds, which was just enough time for Lightning to chuck the technology at the windshield. The ship parts cracked it ever-so-slightly, and then Lightning whipped her newly recovered sword out and shoved it through the small fissure she had created.

It dug in quite nicely.

Snow heard Yaag demand for the airship to pull back. Just like that, the ship transformed from its offensive mode to defensive flight mode, and it began to pull away.

Lightning yanked her gunblade from the windshield, shouted something at Yaag even though he was fairly well off in the distance, then fell - with style - to the ground. She stood and brushed herself off before joining Snow and Hope to watch the other three, who were still wheedling around like morons.

"I don't know how we've survived this long," Snow said, earning an approving nod from Hope.

"Luck. It's the only explanation," Lightning added, sheathing her weapon.

They remained for a few moments more, watching as Fang used her strength to bring the bike into a wheelie. Snow shook his head at the trio. "They didn't really take the fight that seriously," he said, rubbing his still-sore arms. "I mean, Yaag's no pushover…"

"He's nothing special. I mean, we beat the crap out of Barthandelus before coming here, and Yaag is no Barthandelus." Lightning shrugged, then she examined her hand where there were small electrical burns, probably from when she tore out the airship's components. "Hope, do you mind…?"

"Sure thing, Light," he said, and began to do what he did best: heal Lightning.

"You, though," Snow continued, giving a small smile to the woman at his side, "you looked pretty fierce out there."

Hope glanced up quickly towards Lightning, then put his head back down. Lightning remained thoughtful for a few moments, then nodded once to herself. "I guess the battle was personal," she said casually. Snow pressed for further explanation. "Yaag was my instructor, a long time ago when I was still going through the academy. I learned a lot from him, and I respected him. The only thing on his mind was protecting Cocoon, no matter the cost." She looked down at her hand and examined it, now that Hope was finished with his work. A thankful smile was given as she flexed her fingers. "I guess I was disappointed to see how much he's changed."

"He didn't change," Hope said slowly. "I think he's still trying to protect Cocoon, but he's just stuck in Barthandelus' lies."

"I doubt that," Lightning said coldly, but then she shook her head yet again. "Anyway, none of this matters. It's in the past. We need to get moving."

The three of them nodded, but then Hope stopped suddenly.

"How's Sazh gonna get around? I think his bike is broken."

"Fang gets to push it," Lightning said. The other three were close enough to hear.

"Why the hell do I have to push it?" Fang complained, stopping to put her hands on her hips. The action caused the bike to lose its balance, and it almost toppled over were it not for the frantic efforts of Sazh and Vanille to prevent it.

"Guess," Lightning said dully, then she motioned for the others to follow. "Come on. We're almost to Orphan. We've got to go."

Fang, grumbling, turned back around and began pushing the bike after Lightning. Sazh, thoroughly enjoying the new twist of events, tried to lean his head back to relax, but stopped short when Vanille's arm hit his head. "Out, Pulse-stripper," Sazh commanded.

Vanille brought her arm back to swing wildly at Sazh, but Fang saved Sazh's face the trouble by grabbing the tiny wrist. "Out means out," Fang said, pulling the young girl away from the old man.

Vanille was positively seething. "When this is all over, I'm going to_ make sure _you bleed." With that, she stormed forward to join Hope.

A quizzical glance was cast towards Snow by Lightning, but Snow merely shrugged. "You missed a lot while you were off doing all the work."

"Don't I always," he heard Lightning mumbled darkly. He was going to ask what she meant, but then memories of previous conversations flashed into his brain, and he found that he already understood the meaning behind the statement.

_It's amazing how I can feel like a jack-ass for saying such a simple sentence._

They resumed their march towards the capitol of Cocoon with gusto, their spirits high. Lightning led the way, as usual, and Snow was right at her side, as it should be. Occasionally Fang would remind Lightning of the whole 'ass-saving' thing, which would cause little more than an eye twitch of annoyance from their leader, but no further reaction was gained from this. Finally, Fang gave up and began asking Vanille, Sazh, and Hope what they'd do once everything was said and done with.

After thinking for a brief moment, Vanille admitted that she missed Oerba quite a bit, despite its current state. She wanted to return and repair it, even if it meant she would be the only resident. Fang, despite liking Cocoon and all its eccentricities, vowed that she, too, would eventually return to Oerba to help Vanille.

Sazh wasn't so sure about his course of action. "I mean, I can't just up and leave: I got a kid to take care of," he admitted. "But I just don't know if Cocoon will be the place to take care of him. It would be the ideal, sure, but, I mean, will people be okay with him being the son of a Pulse l'Cie?"

"Of course they will!" Vanille said cheerfully. "Once we find Orphan and people understand the truth, then they'll see that we were the good guys after all!"

"Youthful optimism," Sazh chuckled, but said no more.

Hope gave the same answer that he had given Lightning: that he was going to convince his father to move to Oerba. That caused Vanille to celebrate with massive hugs to the silver-haired youth, who seemed extremely embarrassed by it all.

Lightning said she had considered returning to Gran Pulse, but left her response at that. Snow grinned and said that heroes don't need plans, which was an answer that everyone accepted well enough, despite the ambiguity.

And so, just as the conversation about future plans began wrapping up, they arrived at a dead end.

"Like our luck doesn't suck enough," Hope mumbled, glaring down at the ground below.

Everyone, save Sazh, peered over the edge at the barely-visible ground beneath them. Lightning tutted impatiently, casting glances all around her. Her head snapped to the right, and Snow heard her mutter thanks under her breath. "Over here," she motioned, and leaped over a wide gap. She landed with a metallic clang that satisfied the woman. "It's some sort of elevator. It should take us down to the ground."

"Awh, shit," Sazh groaned. Snow, laughing, went over to Sazh and had him cling to his shoulders, knowing full well that he couldn't make the jump in his present condition. _Though even if he were fine, he still wouldn't do it._

The two men landed easily in the elevator with Lightning. Vanille took Hope's hand, smiling, and the two also came over together. Fang, remaining behind, looked questioningly down at the velocycle. "Should I bring it?"

Snow felt something strange on his back.

"No," Lightning began, "you can—"

"Sazh, I swear to God, that better be your gun."

"The hell do you think I am? Of course it's my gun, you pervert! Lightning might find you pleasing to the eye, but you're a damn ogre to me!"

"That is _not _your gun."

"It is too, you bastard!"

Snow dropped Sazh rather roughly onto his feet. "I'm not carrying him. Bring the damn bike."

Fang obliged with Snow's request, quietly chuckling as she lifted the surprisingly light bike with one hand and jumped into the elevator. She set it neatly into the corner, where Vanille approached it and sent a tiny bolt into the engine just as Lightning pressed the descend button.

Snow continued his squabble with Sazh, despite knowing full well that it really had been only Sazh's pistol. Fang, Vanille, and Hope were talking amongst themselves off by the velocycle, and Lightning's head was bowed in thought. The voices of those in conversation bounced roughly off the cold walls and steel elevator, assailing the ears of the six gathered. Wincing, they all lowered their voices considerably, speaking just loud enough for their conversational partners to hear.

Sazh and Snow had somehow moved from pistols to Serah, and the transition had gone unnoticed until now.

"What're you gonna do when Serah comes back?" Sazh said, leaning wearily against the elevator's handrails.

Though he had thought about it occasionally, Snow hadn't really come to any real conclusion how to go about things. Sure, he was going to tell Serah, but he truly wasn't even sure how to break the news to her, if he were to be entirely honest with himself. A part of him shrunk back at the thought, not wanting to be the deliverer of such horrid news. It had to be done, sure, but how do you go about something like that? _Oh, hey, remember how we're engaged? Well, after traveling with your sister for awhile, I decided I'd rather bang her instead. You cool with that? Yeah? Great!_

Really, though. How was he supposed to bring it up? Especially after two weeks of pretending that he was still madly infatuated with her? She'd probably want to start planning the wedding the moment she was noncrystalline, seeing how eager she was about all of it. While he may not have been the Serah-expert, he did know that she could be rash with her actions sometimes, and he also believed that Serah could have a fiery temper (though he had never really seen it himself). What would _she _do once the news was given?

How could Snow, who had always striven to be the hero, become the villain? It would be...hard for him, to say the least. If anything would stop him from telling Serah, it would be that.

_Maybe I could just break up with her without telling her about me and Light?_

He gave a miniscule shake of his head at that. Sure, that would be easier, but what would Serah do when Lightning and Snow got together so suddenly afterwards? It was wrong, yes.

But it would be easier.

Or, perhaps, Snow could pretend as if nothing happened between he and Lightning-

_No. I can't do that. I don't love Serah: I can't marry her. It'd be a bad situation for all three of us._

_Then again, _another voice chimed in, _Lightning seemed to think you wouldn't follow through with it anyway. Maybe her mind's changed since then, but she still might have doubts. It'd be easier for Lightning to accept me leaving than it would be for Serah._

Another head shake. _No! I'm going to stay with Light. That's that._

He banished the thoughts from his mind, believing that his course of action had been firmly set into stone. A sidelong smile was given towards Sazh, to reassure himself more than the pilot, really. "Lightning made me promise to wait for awhile to tell her, so…" Snow shrugged. "I guess I have to pretend everything's normal." He'd just stick with that story until he _actually _knew what actions he would take.

A contemplative look fell over Sazh's countenance. "Huh. How long you gonna wait to tell her? Couple days, so she gets used to being back, or less than that?"

Snow shuffled his feet. "She wants me to wait two weeks." His words were met with silence, and Snow chanced an embarrassed glance at his old friend.

Sazh was contemplating, deeply, what Snow had said. At length, he shook his head and put a hand on Snow's shoulder. "Good luck, boy. You're gonna go through hell."

"That's what I thought," Snow mumbled.

"You just better make sure you know exactly which sister you want," Sazh continued.

"I _know _which one I want to be with," Snow said sharply. "Besides, once I tell Serah what happened, she won't want to stay with me anyway. I mean—"

"I know, Trench. I know," Sazh said softly. "Just be sure, for Lightning's sake."

The two fell into silence once more, and they heard the whispers of the conversation going on in the corner. Lightning, her head still bowed, hadn't said a word yet.

"What's going on, Light?" Snow said, a little more loudly than normal. She barely moved at his words.

"Gunfire. Coming from below."

Speech between Fang, Vanille, and Hope ceased quickly, and they all strained their ears to listen. Sure enough, they could hear the faint echoes of gunshots emanating from somewhere beneath them, and, faintly, they heard the cries of some beast that was distantly familiar.

"Those big things from the ark," Fang whispered gravely. "So, they've got Ark nasties here, as well as monsters from Gran Pulse? It's worse than I thought."

"Do you think…everyone'll be okay?" Hope asked, his face suddenly ashen. It was no surprise, really, considering what he had seen that day. Even Snow had been affected by it.

Lightning kneeled down to his level and brushed Hope's hair from his eyes before gripping his shoulder. "Not everybody will be fine, no," she said slowly. "But those who are still alive will remain alive, because we're going to save them. Got it?"

Hope nodded appreciatively, though, judging by his expression, he was loathe to leave the elevator.

"We're the only ones who can stop this mess," Lightning continued. "Even though Yaag seems to think we're not human enough to care any more. He's wrong." The elevator lurched to a stop, upsetting the balance of everyone on board. They steadied themselves and, now that they were on ground level, they could clearly hear the sounds of gunfire, the screams of the civilians, and the soldiers shouting their orders to each other.

It was strange how easily they forgot the chaos surrounding them when in battle. Perhaps it was because battle was something so second-nature to them, something that had become natural, that everything else just fell away. When fighting Yaag, Snow had lost track of the terror that had surrounded them. He had forgotten that men and women were _dying _while fighting beasts that the l'Cie could easily destroy.

He shuddered to think that he didn't care as much about the destruction of Cocoon as he initially believed.

Lightning, her face tight with determination, nodded to Hope and stood once more. "Let's go show them how human we really are."

Sazh mounted his velocycle, which Vanille had repaired with the minuscule amount of effort she had put into it, and together the six burst forward from the elevator and raced down the road that they were on. In the distance they saw one of the Ark beasts with its head lowered, roaring, and that was where the gunfire came from as well.

"Watch out for bullets," Lightning warned, her voice strong as ever.

A rocket was released from an RPG and it landed exactly where it needed to: the beast exploded before the l'Cie's eyes.

They all sighed in relief, but it was short-lived: one of the dinosaurs, attracted by the noise, stampeded over several lanes of highway towards the now-visible group of soldiers. The trained men, seeing the giant size of the beast, panicked slightly. "Fall back! Suppressing fire!"

Snow watched as the front lines remained strong, still attacking the dinosaur, while the back of the lines fled in fear towards a giant gate. The monster reared up stomped its front legs back on the ground, and Snow knew what that shockwave could do from his own experience. Three men fell backwards and struck their heads, hard, on the cement. Blood seeped from beneath one man's helmet. Another man was directly in the path of the beast's next step. The third was more than likely unconscious.

When the soldiers realized that they were outmatched, they quickly fell back to the already-closing gate. One brave soldier stepped forward and continued his assault, even while his comrade was obliterated beneath the giant foot of the beast.

"Disengage!" One soldier called. "They're closing the gate!"

The warning came far too late. As the soldier turned around and tried to rejoin his brothers-of-war, the gates were already almost completely shut. "Hey! Wait! Open up!" His voice became shrill with terror. "Open up, let me in!"

Snow's heart swelled with compassion for this man, despite that they were supposed to be sworn enemies. The dinosaur was still charging forward, bellowing its war cry, and the man could do nothing but stand against the gate and await his impending death.

"We have to do something," Snow said firmly, looking towards Lightning, who nodded in agreement.

"Like hell we do!" Fang said from behind them. "If we came ten minutes sooner, that same guy would be trying to kill us!"

"So we prove to them that we're monsters by refusing to help?" Lightning snarled. "We'd be no better than them!"

"They'll just try to kill us afterwards," Sazh continued, "I'll give Fang that, but Lightning's right: if we don't help, we prove that those PSICOM bastards have been right about us all along."

Snow saw Fang grimace. "Don't come whining to me when they turn around and try to slaughter you," she mumbled.

Now unified in action, if not in thought, they all increased their speed, even as the dinosaur prepared its attack on the soldier. The six arrived just in the nick of time, and their appearance seemed to startle the Pulse monster. Snow looked back and gave a meaningful nod towards the soldier, who clung helplessly to his gun.

At the first sign of Hope and Vanille's magic, the soldier behind Snow stuttered, "Y-y-you're…you're the l'Cie?"

"In the flesh," Fang said, driving the dinosaur back with thrusts of her lance. They had been pinned a little _too _close to the gate for comfort.

A few minutes of intense battle ensued, and Hope and Vanille both had to focus solely on healing the others due to the heavy damage the beast was inflicting. Snow was sure he had gotten a concussion after one particularly nasty shockwave.

"You're supposed to be aligned with these things," the soldier said, regaining his composure. "You're supposed to be on their side, trying to kill us…"

"Look, we'd love to clear up all the misconceptions and all," Sazh said, loading his pistol from his velocycle, "but we're a little preoccupied at the moment."

"But…"

"We're not here to kill you!" Snow shouted, tossing Hope and Vanille behind him when the monster tried to swing its tail. Snow grabbed it and, using all the strength he could muster, he tried to snap the tail bone. He must have succeeded in some way, as the Pulse beast gave a shrill cry and shook Snow off. He regained his footing, then resumed his guard.

After another few minutes of serious battle, Snow found that he suddenly had a new companion. "I have no idea what the hell is going on, but I want that damn thing dead as much as you seem to." The soldier lowered himself to one knee, aimed his gun at the monster's head, and released a full magazine into the thing's brain.

Once the soldier's endless supply of bullets joined the party, the battle seemed to go fairly smoothly. The beast was quickly tiring, and once that happened it became sloppy in its actions and movements. Snow almost felt bad about killing what Fang had claimed was a baby dinosaur, but then he looked behind the beast to the corpses of the three soldiers it had left behind, and all his compassion quickly fled.

With a mind-numbing tremor through the earth, the fiend fell on its knees and toppled over, dead, its body lying over those it had earlier killed. The l'Cie shook their arms out and wiped the sweat from their faces, not at all pleased at the number of battles they had faced during the day. Their displeasure was compounded by the fact that they knew more battles, all more horrifying than the last, were to come.

Lightning sheathed her blade and turned around, crossing her arms over her chest as she scrutinized the soldier. The man gripped his gun even more tightly, but he didn't raise his weapon. Snow, wanting to smooth everything over, stepped forward. "This guy helped us out," he said simply.

"I could tell. Sazh can only fire a few bullets at a time, so when I heard a hundred being shot, well…" She held out a hand to the soldier, her eyes burning brightly. "My name is Lightning Farron, former sergeant of the Bodhum Guardian Corps."

The man nodded uncertainly but didn't take her hand. "I…recognize you. From TV."

Lightning dropped her arm, disgruntled. "Then you know me as a merciless Pulse l'Cie, hellbent on destroying Cocoon, right?"

The soldier hesitated, then nodded again. "That's what's been said, yes."

Lightning frowned and dipped her head, which was when Snow joined the conversation. He wanted this man to know their story, or at least the beginnings. He wasn't content with letting him walk away, wondering why the l'Cie had spared him. That simply wasn't enough. "Listen," Snow began. "She's a _former_ sergeant because she agreed to go on the Purge train in order to save her sister. That man, there," he pointed to Sazh, "only wanted to save his son. The kid over there lost his mom in an accident and, since he didn't know what else to do, he followed the young girl there. We all met up on the Pulse Vestige by chance, and we were branded l'Cie. We were told by someone…by Lightning's sister – also a Pulse l'Cie – that our Focus was to save Cocoon. We intend on doing that."

The soldier's face was masked by his helmet, but Snow was sure that he was at a loss. "My orders are to kill you," he said wearily, resting his back against the gate. "I sure as hell won't be trying that anytime soon, especially after, well, you know…"

"I'd be more than happy to knock you unconscious," Fang offered. "You know, to make it seem like we whipped your ass and all. That way you don't get in trouble."

Snow glanced over his shoulder and narrowed his eyes at Fang, who merely shrugged and grinned.

"I think…" The man sighed. "Thanks for everything you've done. I'm going to go and pretend I never saw you; find some other group of soldiers to join."

Snow held out his hand for the soldier to shake, which, after a moment's pause, he took. "Thanks, man, for helping us out," Snow said solemnly. "We weren't expecting that."

"Today's just full of surprises," Fang muttered.

"She's always like that," Snow added, motioning towards Fang. "Don't take it personally."

"Got it," the soldier said. He removed his hand from Snow's grasp and, after giving the group an awkward nod, he took off to the side without looking back.

They watched him depart for a moment before Snow turned around and headed back down the way he came. "Let's go," he said. "There's nothing else for us to do here."

He was surprised when the others wordlessly followed.


	23. Shrouds, Treasure, and Chocobos

**Si's Note: **Damn you, Dragon Age 2.

* * *

It had been a punishing day for all of them. After having fought the _Proudclad, _a baby dinosaur, and the endless enemies that seemed to stream out of from nothingness, they were all left wanting rest. Sazh was becoming especially weary, and more often than not Lightning would catch him resting and grimacing while clutching his side. Fighting was becoming a strain for him, and so, in private, Lightning had made her way back to the pilot and instructed him to remain in the velocycle and abstain from battle. He had protested, but, as always, her steely will won the fight.

Hope and Vanille were mentally exhausted from all the spells they had been tossing left and right. Normally spell-casting was easy for them, but the sheer number of opponents that they had faced throughout the day and the little rest that they had received compounded the fatigue that they typically felt after a single battle. They were becoming less useful in each encounter, as their spells came less often and, many times, were not as powerful as they could have been.

Snow and Fang were holding up decently well, although their arms seemed to be permanently bruised from the devastating blows they had taken for the team. Fang's left arm was more purple than tan, and no amount of healing seemed to do any good.

Snow was, of course, more concerned about Lightning than himself. During the course of their journey through the streets of Eden, he had approached Lightning several times and snuck in a pathetic cure spell of his own to ensure that she was in peak physical condition. His efforts were pointless, really, but she had to admit that she deeply appreciated his labors. The healings were always done when Snow believed Lightning wasn't looking, but a cure spell has a particularly strange feeling of warmth and skin-tugging that is hard to miss, and so Lightning was always aware of them. On his last effort, she had reached her hand back to his and gave him an appreciate squeeze of the palm, which surprised him slightly before his lips fell into a goofy grin.

Now it was a little beyond late afternoon and Phoenix had begun to dim its lights for the crowd of people gathered on the streets. The mighty fal'Cie seemed oblivious to the condition of its pets below; it didn't know that no sleep would come to the inhabitants of Eden on this night. Even if a resident of the manufactured planet managed to find a safe place to slumber, the screams and cries of the other citizens would be enough to wake the dead, let alone the living. The gunfire, the roars from another world, and the ravaged bodies that lay on the street were something that many had seen in movies, but in real-life it was a nightmare that they could not walk away from; a nightmare that would keep them awake for days, if not weeks, to come.

Lightning had noticed that the gateways of Eden had willingly opened for them thus far, and, knowing that these doors were fal'Cie, she knew that Barthandelus had given the order for the l'Cie's path to remain unhindered. The puppet-master was still mocking them and calling them forward; still manipulating their path.

He wanted them to destroy Orphan, right? What good, then, would destroying Orphan do for the world if it was Barthandelus' will for them to do so? Barthandelus had done no good thus far, so what would doing his will now accomplish? Why did he really want the Calvary to reach Orphan?

These thoughts plagued her as she traveled with the others, and so she had remained unusually silent. At first none had noticed, and when Snow had asked her on the elevator what she had been thinking, she fluffed it off with the mention of the gunshots that she heard below. For whatever reason, the other five took the matter quite seriously even though the gunfire had followed them since this morning. The sound was hardly anything new, but they all acted as if it was something profound.

At any rate she had just been thankful that her distraction had worked. She didn't wish to burden them with the thoughts that had claimed her once the battle with Yaag had begun. It was he who had made her wonder; he that had made her question whether or not they were doing the right thing. He had been her instructor, yes, and she had admired the hell out of the man when she was a young recruit. He wished to stop Lightning and the others from destroying the planet, though they were here solely to save Cocoon from being destroyed by the Calvary. Why would Barthandelus have his entire PSICOM fleet after Lightning, to supposedly stop the planet's destruction, when it was the Calvary who was aiming for Orphan, not they? It simply didn't make sense to her, and since she knew the intellectual power of Rosch, she also knew that he should have been capable of such logical thinking, of which he had taught to Lightning in the first place. He was blinded by something: fear, or perhaps rage, and so he refused to see the truth.

Was Barthandelus truly so cunning as to blind a man like Yaag to his schemes?

What were they getting themselves into?

Snow cast her a concerned gaze as they trotted forward, towards the next door. "Light, are you—"

"I'm fine," she said, giving him a quick smile to reassure him. It seemed to work well enough, since he nodded in her direction and returned a smile of his own.

She felt terrible lying to them about her concerns, and she admitted that they should probably be aware of her thoughts as well, since they were all just as involved as she was. It would be such a burden, though, to them, and she didn't wish to put any more on their minds then she needed to. Hope and Vanille, especially: they were so young and she didn't want them—mainly Hope, to think about such things, not after the day he had.

Fang, Sazh, and Snow, though…they deserved to know. She decided that she'd mention it to them when the opportunity arose.

Her feet slowed to a stop as they approached the next gate. They waited impatiently for the door to open, as the others had, but for some reason it refused to budge. Lightning, puzzled, leaned forward and stroked the door with her palm, but it did not respond to her l'Cie touch. By now the others were concerned, and Snow was the first to step forward and mimic Lightning's actions. Still the door did not open, and so Snow shoved his weight against the door, hoping for _something _to occur, but nothing did.

Exhaustion, frustration, and resignation seemed to wash over them all then. Snow bashed his hand against the door and leaned his forehead against the cold steel. "So close," he murmured. Lightning put her hand on her hip and turned towards the others, who all seemed just as downcast as Snow.

"We'll find another way in," she said, though she wasn't sure where she'd find such a passage. There was only one way leading into Eden, one road, and they were on it. To find another way could take them hours.

"There's no time for that!" Snow growled, punching the door with the flat of his fist yet again. A moment's pause was followed by a horrible grating sound, one that echoed off the walls and bounced roughly back to their ears. Those who didn't grind their teeth at the noise covered their ears and complained loudly, but then they saw that the door was beginning to open and all fell still.

This was not normal.

Everyone instantly became concerned. Snow stepped back from the door, his fists raised and ready. Lightning's gunblade was out and held high above her shoulder, prepared to battle. Hope and Vanille stepped back-to-back, their hands both glowing with spells that they could unleash at any moment. Fang leaned lazily against her lance, and Sazh just shook his head and pulled out one of his guns.

"Gate got ya beat? Hero?"

_I know that voice. _Lightning flinched at the memory.

Immediately Snow and Lightning dropped their stances, just as Lebreau taunted Snow. "Pretty lame," she droned.

Their bikes whirred past the six of them, which forced them all to duck and jump to the side. Instantly Lightning became annoyed, and considered then and there to shoot the gas tanks of the NORA bikes and make them all explode.

Serah's friend, Maqui, waved to Snow and greeted him, as did Lebreau. Snow laughed and jogged forward, giving them a greeting of his own. Lebreau and another NORA member – Lightning jogged her memory to recall that the blue-haired boy was Yuj - drew nearer on their bikes, where the cocky, extravagantly dressed Yuj began to speak. "So, Snow. You're a Pulse l'Cie now, huh?"

Lightning's muscles flexed instinctively towards her blade, and the others dropped their gaze to the ground. Snow, however, just flashed his brand towards his old friends. "Yeah," he said, almost sorrowfully, "good times."

Yuj leaped down from his bike and took a step towards Snow. "Then why didn't you tell us?" He came closer and his brows were furrowed in anger. "Why the hell didn't you come and find us?"

Lebreau trounced forward to join Yuj at his side. "Yeah! We've been waiting!"

"Us and the rest of the Purge fugitives," Maqui added, joining the line.

Sazh, Hope, and Vanille all directed grins at each other while Lightning found herself at a loss for words. She truly hadn't expected anyone to take the side of a Pulse l'Cie, but now she discovers that there were dozens of people awaiting their return, so that they could assist the six of them in their journey? It was simply more than she could grasp. She had expected to be treated as a monster, not like…not like _this_.

"But, damn," Gadot said, "those Pulse fal'Cie sure know how to pick 'em." At that his eyes briefly swept over to Lightning and the damn man gave the tiniest of smirks before returning his attention to Snow.

_Damn him. Damn him to hell._

She shook her head, telling herself that now was not the time. "Yeah," she said, her feet pulling herself to stand beside Snow. "Out of all the idiots in the world, they chose this one."

Everyone chuckled at this, and Snow couldn't help but grin as he took a few steps towards Lightning. "Hey, hey, hey, now wait just a minute here!" While the others were distracted, he flashed his smile at Lightning and briefly rested his hand on her shoulder before joining his comrades. "_I _am your fearless leader. You're not supposed to laugh at the boss!"

They circled in and prepared for a conversation, but a bomb sounded in the background and forced everyone back into reality. As much as she wished to be pulled back to times long since forgotten, she could not ignore the trials to come, Lightning knew they had to be on their way. She went to Snow and tapped his arm, motioning that they had to get going. Snow gave Lightning one of his smiles that always tugged at her heart in a way that made her feel giddy with girlish pleasure.

Gadot seemed to see Snow's softened expression towards Lightning, and a strange look passed over his face. "Just like old times, huh, boss?" The question confused Lightning, and she made a note to herself to question Snow later on it. Maybe after drowning them in bad news?

Lebreau had missed Snow's gaze and Gadot's directed comment, though. "Don't you worry: we'll take care of the civilians."

Gadot was still carefully scrutinizing Snow, and Lightning felt her face beginning to heat up.

"And you concentrate on saving Cocoon," Maqui ordered.

Hope threw his arms wide and stood by Snow's side. "We all will. Together!"

The four NORA members went silent and merely cast Hope awkward glances. Hope's arms dropped slightly, and Lightning saw the embarrassed smile that began to form on his lips.

_Poor guy just wants to fit in. Come on, Snow…don't leave him hanging there.._

Snow put his hand on Hope's head and grinned at him before turning to the four friends. "Now, what's our motto?"

"Fal'Cie are no match for NORA!" they all chanted, jumping high into the air with enthusiasm. Hope chuckled a bit and shuffled away towards Lightning, leaving Snow to converse momentarily with his friends as they remounted their bikes.

"That was awkward," Hope sighed, rubbing his face.

"A little," Lightning admitted. "But maybe they'll let you join their ranks after this," she added. The idea brightened the boy's spirits, and he returned to Vanille's side with a skip in his step.

Lightning then turned to see what was taking Snow so long. He was speaking to Gadot, and though the expression on Snow's face was easy, Gadot seemed both shocked and nervous at whatever it was Snow was saying. She tried to listen in, but the motors of the bikes were drowning out the conversation that was taking place.

At one point Gadot's eyes flashed again towards her, but instead of smirking, Gadot seemed to gulp.

_What the hell are they talking about?_

She thought for a minute, then she suddenly remembered that she had admitted to Snow what she and Gadot had done together, and now she and Snow were sort of a couple, and Gadot was _right there, _looking at her and talking to Snow, and –

Her face flushed horribly, so she turned away and walked towards the open gate. Hope and Sazh followed, and soon after Vanille, Fang, and Snow joined them. The NORA gang had apparently taken their leave, and so the journey was able to continue.

"I didn't expect to have fans on Cocoon," Fang said. "Figured everyone would be stupid asses about everything and try to kill us."

"Me too," Sazh admitted. "You got some good friends, Trench."

"Yeah," Snow grinned. "I know how to pick 'em." At that he tossed a roguish wink towards Lightning, who, instead of feeling flattered, wanted answers.

"What did you say to Gadot?" she demanded crossly.

"That's none of—"

"What. Did you. Say."

"Don't fight, big guy," Fang warned. "You'll end up with a sore ass in the morning, and it won't be because of anything pleasurable."

Snow gave an exaggerated sigh and rolled his eyes, muttering to himself. "I told him that I knew what you and him did on the beach," Snow confessed, "and that I'd beat him up next time I saw him because of it."

"So that's what took so long to say, huh?" Lightning shot back, her eyes narrowed.

"Well, no…I mean, of course saying something like that brought up some questions, so I had to answer a couple of them—"

_"What did you say?_"

Snow held up his hands. "I didn't tell him anything, don't worry! I didn't have enough time to explain, so I figured it'd be best to wait until I had enough time!"

Lightning thought about this for a second. _Not explaining means he doesn't have to explain himself _further _when he stays with Serah. I guess that course of action is understandable, then._

She nodded and released a heavy sigh. "Fine, then. I'll believe you."

"That's a switch," Snow said.

Lightning glared at him.

* * *

Their forced march led them through crowded streets of people, all of whom appeared to be shaken, but still alive. No gory messes were to be found on these particular streets of Eden, and for a moment Lightning almost believed that this Eden was the same Eden she remembered from so long ago, with its pristine streets and hundreds of people milling about doing their daily tasks. She was shaken roughly back to the situation at hand when she saw the towering shapes of behemoths and Ark beasts fighting amongst themselves ahead. Some other creatures were running aimlessly in circles; or standing still, staring dumbly into space, perhaps waiting for their unsuspecting prey to approach.

Lightning wasn't really sure what to make of the fiends' behavior, but once she looked skyward she saw the NORA gang taunting the creatures from the air, or spraying some sort of chemical on the larger ones so they'd remain occupied with each other. The foursome had remained true to their word: they were indeed protecting the citizens of Cocoon, albeit in their own unique way.

"We don't need to fight these guys," Snow said proudly. "NORA's got it covered."

Hope cast a confused glance towards Snow and his face darkened momentarily, recalling memories that were best left forgotten. He banished the thoughts with a wave of his hand, but Lightning saw it unfold. She pitied the young boy, but she would not call him out on his momentary relapse.

"We still have to get past them, though," Fang said. "Any bright ideas on how to sneak on by?"

They all paused in their tracks to consider the matter. They had never tried to sneak past anything before: usually they could outrun it or kill it. Now, though, time was of the essence and they had little room to maneuver, so their options seemed limited.

Sazh snapped his fingers, diverting all eyes to him as he began digging through his packs. "Some of the things that we fought – don't remember what – dropped some weird shit afterwards. We found some of it in those random treasure sphere things along the way, too, that Barthandelus planted for whatever reason. Remember how we never really knew what they were?"

Lightning thought about what Sazh was saying. Every now and again some soldiers would drop something that was in a strange spray can, and one time they covered themselves with it but they never really saw any effect take place. "I know what you're talking about," Lightning said finally, earning an approving nod from Sazh.

"Well, I was playing around with it one day—"

"Sazh!" Vanille said, shocked. "What if it's deadly chemicals? You shouldn't play with that stuff!"

"Quiet, or I'll forget to stop calling you a Pulse-hooker," Sazh grunted in annoyance. "Anyway, I ain't done talking yet." Once he cleared his throat to cover Vanille's aggravated squeals, he continued. "Anywho, like I said, I was tinkering around with it one day and sprayed some of it on me. Weird thing was, the dumb chocobo couldn't seem to find me afterwards. He flew all around me, goin' this way and that, even ran into my head a few times. I just figured the stupid thing got drunk or something—" at that the chick erupted from Sazh's afro and flew around his head in angry circles—"but now I think that maybe it had to do with that chemical. I don't think it could see me."

"So," Fang said slowly, tapping her chin in thought, "are you suggesting we test out your theory right now?"

"We don't have any other plan," Hope said with a shrug.

"Chocobo's are smart. Probably smarter than these big guys," Vanille said, nodding towards the behemoths. "If the chocobo couldn't see you, then it might just work on them."

"Intelligence has nothing to do with it," Fang cut in. "It's a _chemical_. What if it doesn't react with all types of creatures? Then we're screwed _and _we have a chocobo that's acting like it's drunk. No offense," she added when the bird darted in front of Fang's face and chirped in irritation.

Sazh finally produced the strange cylindrical bottles he had mentioned before. Lightning took one from him and examined it carefully, noticing that, on the bottom, written in a small, steel-gray font that nearly matched the container itself, was the word "shroud".

After shaking the bottle for a second, she turned to Snow and asked him to spray the bottle over her. Snow looked surprised. "You're gonna try it?"

"It's not going to hurt. Like Hope said, we don't have any other plans, and this sounds decently plausible."

Snow sighed and took the bottle from Lightning's hand. "How 'bout I test it out first?"

"Sweet, but no," Lightning said, holding her arms out and spreading her legs. "Just spray the damn stuff already. It's not a big deal."

The spray fell over her like a cool mist, covering her body in a silky sheen. She felt the chill pass over the back of her arms, felt it seep in through her shirt to cover her body. Behind her, Snow chuckled and kneeled down on his knees to spray Lightning's legs. Once more the light spray covered her skin, from her heel to high on her thigh—

"I don't think you need to go _that_ high," Lightning hissed, twisting her head around to glare at Snow. He gave her a wide grin and looked back towards the bottle.

"Do you think it needs to be rubbed in?"

Lightning ripped the bottle from Snow's hands while Sazh and Fang cracked up in the distance.

"Keep it kid-friendly, please," Hope groaned.

She quickly sprayed the front of her body, grimacing when the foreign chemical touched her face. Her tongue snuck out of her mouth and flicked over her lips, and she discovered that it was slightly bitter. This caused her to quickly spit the taste from her mouth.

"All right. Let's see how well this works," she said. "Don't spray it on you yet: no need to poison all of us if it doesn't work. Just wait a second."

Snow complained about her playing hero, but she shushed him and jogged forward, towards one of the behemoths that was playing with an Ark beast. She cautiously edged around them, watching for any change in movement from the monsters. Success was granted to her when she easily slid by without their notice, but she didn't want to equate that to the shroud; not yet, anyway. Instead she bit her lip and scanned for the next nearest monster, spotting one of the mechanical soldiers just a few yards away. A hand was held high to halt the movement of the other five, and she went forth yet again to test out this new chemical.

She approached even more slowly than before, her movements graceful and quiet. Sharp eyes never left the automated movements of the destruction machine from Pulse, and she observed that the thing, despite looking directly at her, showed no signs of aggression. Interest piqued, she took several quick steps towards it, her footsteps a little more loud this time. The machine paused and scanned the area several times, searching madly for whatever made the noise, but it was met with no luck.

Now she really wanted to test the shroud's capabilities. She stood on her toes and waved for the others to come over, and with a sidelong glance at her possible opponent she shouted that the shroud seemed to work. At her voice the machine went positively insane, clambering towards the sound of Lightning's voice. Lightning quickly dodged sideways, and the man-made device charged on in the same direction, oblivious as it passed Lightning on its fifth step.

The others quickly sprayed each other where they stood. After a moment's consideration Fang doused Sazh's velocycle with the chemical, much to the man's approval. Once they were protected by the shrouds they jogged forward, looking in wonder as they passed by each beast, unnoticed, and by the time they reached Lightning, Vanille was positively in awe.

"That would have saved us so much time on Pulse!" She cried in excitement. "That stuff is amazing! How does it work? What's it made out of? Do we have more?"

Sazh tugged at his coat with a smug expression on his face, looking down at Vanille from his cycle. "I know, I know: I'm awesome. I'll admit it." With a dumb grin he started to answer Vanille's questions as they continued on their way, overlooked by their enemies as they went. "I'm not exactly sure how it works. My best guess is that is covers human scent and disguises our infrared signature, since mechanical things can't seem to see us and the normal beasties ignore us. I don't know if that's entirely accurate, though, because I'd think that they'd still be able to _see _us and attack…"

"Unless Pulse creatures use their scent to hunt," Snow said slowly, turning to Fang for an answer.

The woman just threw her hands up and shrugged. "I didn't study those things. I ate them," she responded.

"Do you think it'd work on soldiers?" Vanille continued.

"Probably," Lightning said. "The PSICOM guys have infrared-sensing helmets. If what Sazh said is right, then it should work on them, too."

"We have to be careful on how much we use. Looks like one bottle covers three people, and we've got about nine bottles left. It wears off over time: the chocobo chick was able to see me after about five minutes or so when I first tested it," Sazh explained

Now that they could rest a bit easier knowing that the populace was safe, thanks to NORA, and since they could move unhindered and unchallenged through the streets of Eden, their journey towards the heart of Eden was much faster and smoother. They were easily able to evade even the largest of beasts, much to everyone's delight. It was a much-needed boost to morale, and that boost gave them all added energy that Lightning was sure they'd be in dire need of later.

After some time, as Sazh was mentioning that they were just about out of the shrouds, they came to a set of stairs. Sazh somehow got his velocycle up them with Fang's assistance, and Hope and Vanille took the steps two-at-a-time. Snow and Lightning had been guarding the rear after a near-attack by a beast that had been chasing after a butterfly, and as they ascended together, Snow's arm snaked around Lightning's waist.

"Do you think we'll get any time together before…you know…?"

"No," Lightning said. "We don't have time to spare. I think Barthandelus is expecting us, and soon. I'd hate to disappoint him."

He chuckled quietly to himself as they slowly took the next few steps. Lightning's torso tingled from his touch, and she admitted to herself that she would dearly miss the sensation of him holding her in such a way. It was innocent and tender, two things that she was not accustomed to, and it thrilled her every time he initiated the contact. "I don't want to wait two weeks to tell Serah," Snow said finally. "I can't wait that long. It's cruel to her, and…I can't stand the idea of being away from you for so much time."

Lightning winced inwardly. She didn't want to be reminded of Serah, of what was to come, when she was perfectly content with what was occurring in the present. "You promised, Snow. You can't go back on that."

"What if it's for the best?"

"I think I know what's best for my sister, don't you think?"

Snow's mouth opened to argue, but he shut it firmly a moment later. "I could disagree, but I don't want to fight," he sighed. "Not now; not when we're so close to finishing all this." His eyes roved up to Fang and Sazh, who were standing near each other at the top of the stairs. Fang was rubbing Sazh's shoulders, talking easily, and the old man was chuckling to himself while appreciating the attention that was given to him. "They've gotten pretty close," Snow commented with a sly smirk.

"So have they," Lightning said, taking a step and nodding to Hope and Vanille. Vanille had Hope's hand again, and they were talking about how they'd go about fixing Oerba together.

Snow snorted loudly. "The kid's still got the hots for you, though. I've got competition."

Lightning rolled her eyes and wriggled her hand out from Snow's grasp. "The only person you should be worried about is Gadot."

"He doesn't have enough money to take you out on a date," Snow said smugly. "He owes me thirty gil: that's about fifty more gil than he owns."

"Why does he owe you thirty gil?"

"A bet," Snow shrugged with a devilish grin. "I should tell you about it some time, maybe."

"Sounds good."

Together they approached the top of the stairs, now standing in a line with the other four. They all looked towards the large hall that was ahead of them, the hall that was undoubtedly awaiting their entrance. Lightning looked to Snow for comfort, as she suddenly was filled with dread at the thought of proceeding forward. Snow gave a small, reassuring nod and placed his hand on the small of Lightning's back. She gathered her courage, steeling herself, and proceeded forward on the carpet that clearly depicted the path they were to take.

They all moved forward as one, but each step forward brought a heavier weight upon their shoulders. Each step brought a greater sense of dread.

"What the…?" Sazh whispered quietly. Lightning paused to look back at him, and her eyes were suddenly aware of the small snowflakes that were falling gently around them.

Transfixed, Lightning slowly reached her hand out and prodded a glimmering speck with her finger and watched as it quickly scattered into millions of tiny particles.

Vanille gasped. "What is this stuff?"

Lightning was about to answer with 'snowflakes', but stopped short. _No, _Lightning thought, dismay seeping into her bones. _Not snow…it's dust. Crystal dust. Like Oerba._

The memory of Oerba, still and silent as the grave, hit her hard. With wide eyes she looked around Cocoon and felt the stillness that pervaded the city, the utter silence that greeted her ears. Were the streets not bustling just a moment ago? Had they not heard gunshots earlier, and explosions? Where did the sounds go—where did the _life _go? Why the hell was the crystal dust _everywhere?_

Lightning's eyes fell to a corner where rubble, sand, and a woman's body lay, and her heart squeezed tightly within her chest.

Fang stepped up and snatched at the air. "It's some sort of crystal," she said slowly, her eyes falling to Sazh, then Lightning. Her gaze was heavy, weighty with knowledge.

"I don't like this," Sazh said, wincing as he looked around. "Is Cocoon falling apart already?"

"Could be," Hope said, turning to face the rubble that Lightning had been looking at. He quickly closed his eyes again and faced a different direction. "Maybe Orphan's having trouble holding things together with all this fighting going on."

"The clamor of this conflict rouses the Maker," a voice, deep and frightful, sounded behind Lightning. She spun on her heels, knowing the voice far too well to dare expose her back to him.

Barthandelus, guised as the old man, Dysley, had his image projected into thin air. No doubt it was some form of magic that utilized the fine crystal dust, but no amount of explaining could shake the distinct sense of unease that rose whenever Lightning saw the damned man's face.

Everyone was on edge once the fal'Cie released a throaty growl of a laugh. Instinctively they circled together, back-to-back, and their muscles tensed and readied for a fight.

Sazh was the first one to talk back. "Yeah?" he said haughtily, no doubt summoning up every ounce of bravado that he could. "Well, we're gonna stop this ruckus soon enough!"

The image of Dysley narrowed his eyes in anger, and as suddenly as the projection appeared, it had faded away. Replacing the image was the old man himself, donned in all his extravagant clothing and wielding his staff. "Can you halt the Calvary's charge?" He asked, his mechanical voice full of mocking awe. He shook his head, a small smirk tugging on dried lips. "Filled with righteousness they will slaughter Orphan in the name of Freedom. Your only recourse will be to deliver them death, swift and certain."

Lightning drew her weapon, as did Fang beside her. Both women flourished their polished steel threateningly for the fal'Cie to see. "No! Unlike you, they'll listen to reason!" Lightning said, dropping low into a defensive stance. Fang remained high, her lance cocked back, as if she were prepared to hurtle it into Barthandelus' face.

Instead of fearing their signs of aggression, Dysley narrowed his eyes further and his body stiffened. "We will see about that," he said darkly. "I shall savor the demise of Cocoon from atop the highest seat in all of Eden. You, too, should hurry along to the heart of our grand capitol." Dysley's head cocked slightly towards Snow. "Your loved ones miss you so."

Lightning's veins pumped with rage.

"Come, l'Cie," Barthandelus taunted, his body levitating high in the air. "Fulfill your destiny!" With that the wizened old man turned in the air and shot off into the sky like a rocket, disappearing into the still-bright rays of Phoenix.

Hope stood near to Lightning, his hands curled into angry fists. "Your destiny…we'll decide our own destiny," he spat.

Lightning nodded, her gaze still steady on the spot where Dysley had disappeared. "Right," she said to Hope, "over Barthandelus' dead body." She looked down and gave the boy a reassuring nod before grasping his shoulder and pushing him gently forward.

"We've got a demented fal'Cie to kill," Fang said, cracking her knuckles.

"And an Orphan to save," Sazh added. "But, uh, let's kill that dumb bastard first, 'kay? He just royally pissed me off."

"Sounds like the best plan I've heard all day," Snow said, jogging behind Lightning.

Lightning grunted in approval as she ran and slowly made her way towards the ceilinged dome that marked entrance to the heart of Eden. The plush red carpet beneath her feet seemed to be a mockery, now, as it cushioned their path towards the capitol.

She thought more on the task before them: they either had to convince the Calvary that their course of action would be the downfall of Cocoon, or they had to kill them. The former would be no easy task, especially considering that they were enraged by Raines' supposed betrayal. Killing them would prove to be easier, but the morality behind such a choice was in question.

"Do you think Rygdea can be convinced?" She asked Fang. The tribeswoman had spent more time with the Calvary than any of them, so her knowledge could prove useful.

Instead, Fang shook her head. "Hard to say. He seemed reasonable enough, but, then again, he's probably pretty mad right about now. If we get out of this without a fight, I'd be surprised."

Lightning groaned inwardly, hoping that it wouldn't have to come to such a thing. She genuinely liked Rygdea, from her experience on the _Palamecia. _Of course, he could have changed quite a bit since then, but still. He was a good soldier and a good man. To lose him due to bullheadedness would be tragic.

"Ah, shit," Sazh mumbled behind them. "Glass floors. What kind of sick bastard invents glass floors?"

Lightning looked down and her head quickly shot back up. Heights had never really bothered her, but when a glance reveals the bowels of hell itself, she was willing to reconsider her stance.

"Treasure!" Vanille said, pointing to her left. "More treasure!" she added, pointing to the right.

Lightning shrugged and approached the Barthandelus-given aid on the right, while Fang sauntered to the left. Both opened the chests at the same time to reveal six items that, when Fang held them up for the rest of the party to see, Sazh was the only one who seemed excited. Lightning's chest, however, caused her to frown.

"What the hell? Did you seriously just get a stuffed chocobo?" Snow grinned, darting forward to look at Lightning's prize. "That is some awesome shit right here. It suits you well, too! You can cuddle with it at night and everything!" His grin broadened. "This totally beats the carbuncle plushie you were gonna get for your birthday."

"Shut. Up."

Snow's entire face lit up. "Give me that. I'm keeping it."

"No, you're not. I'm selling it first chance I get."

"Like hell you are!"

"Snow! Give it back!" Snow had wrenched the toy from Lightning's hold and was stuffing it desperately into one of his pockets while fending Lightning off with the other. "You dumb ogre! Give it back!"

"You wanna wrestle for it?"

"Snow! You annoying ass!" Lightning ripped herself away from him and prepared to beat him to the ground. She would _not _allow this bumbling idiot to make a mockery of her like this!

...And what had he meant by the carbuncle plushie?

"Holy shit!" Hope cried suddenly, sprinting forward as fast as he could. Vanille and Sazh chanced a glance behind them and saw a beast of a dinosaur lumbering towards them, lowering its head into a charge. It sprang forward with surprising quickness, which caused the l'Cie to forget about the chocobo plushie and everything else as they tried to retreat.

There was a loud crackling sound when the dinosaur stepped on the glass floor. Lightning leaned forward when the floor gave way under the enormous weight of the beast, her heart racing with excitement. She watched as the monster's front legs scrambled for a hold, but nothing was strong enough to keep it. Slowly, it sank down further into the massive hole it had created and, eventually, its legs disappeared completely and the monster fell into the dark depths below.

"Our luck's turning around," Hope said, his voice thankful. "Finally."

"Nah," Sazh said, leading the way with his no-longer-decently-conditioned velocycle. "That was just one dumb-fuck of a dinosaur."

A chorus of agreement met Sazh's words as they continued onwards, and for a brief moment Lightning felt the smallest bit of humor at the situation that had unfolded.

Then she saw Snow flash the damn chocobo plushie beside her, and she was ready to absolutely devastate something. Very, very soon.


	24. Defiers of Fate

It had been nauseating, almost, to see the soldiers so suddenly turning into Cie'th, and Yaag must have thought the same. Only that could explain his sudden change of heart; only that would cause a man such as he to go against the fal'Cie. He had once thought the fal'Cie, and Barthandelus, to have nothing but the best interests in mind for the people of Cocoon but, as Yaag himself admitted, under the whims of the fal'Cie he had orchestrated mass murder to calm a panicked populace, even while knowing the actions were a farce. The men and women who now wandered the halls as Cie'th had stood by his side and committed the same sins as he, and as payment they were turned into mindless beasts. This, more than anything, opened Yaag's eyes to the truth. Lightning was only saddened that it came so late.

Lightning's head bowed when the explosion rang from the door behind them. She knew that it had been Rosch, undoubtedly finding an end at his own hands. Why he did it was not important: whether he did it to punish himself, to fend off Pulse beasts, or some other reason mattered little. She respected that he chose his end for himself and did not allow the fal'Cie to instruct him any further. Finally he became the man she knew him to be, and she viewed him in a more positive light now because of it.

Vanille and Snow were especially silent after Yaag met his end, and the silence was compounded by the stillness of the narrow hall they found themselves in. Lightning stood by a terminal and considered ordering medical items, but when Sazh, now off his velocycle, leaned against the elevator and put his face in his hands; and when Vanille broke into tears and sought Snow out for comfort, Lightning decided to postpone her shopping. Her troops needed her.

Snow seemed entirely out of place when consoling Vanille. He was uncomfortable and his body rigid, but he pat her back lightly and repeated the mantra of "He went out how he wanted…it's okay". A few times he shot a panicked look towards Lightning, pleaing for help, but for the moment it was ignored since he seemed to be doing as well as she could have. Instead, Fang came to Snow's aid and hugged the young girl tightly, leaving a relieved Snow to join Hope against the opposite wall.

Sazh sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his ashen face. "Today sucks ass," he said. "And a good man just bit the dust 'cause of these damn fal'Cie. They gonna get what's coming to them, let me tell you…"

Lightning nodded absentmindedly a few times at his words and placed a hand on Sazh's side, gently pushing. A sharp inhale, followed by a quick slap at Lightning's hand, was given by the pilot. "Ouch," he mumbled. "Still hurts, soldier."

"You don't look so good," Lightning commented.

"Haven't looked good in years," Sazh smiled. "I'll be fine. Let's just get this over with. I'm about done with this l'Cie shit."

With another nod Lightning passed Sazh a healing poultice that he quickly guzzled down. Once the container was emptied he returned it to Lightning, who tossed it aside in a corner of the hall. She turned towards Vanille and Fang now, approaching them slowly. She heard Fang whispering that it wasn't too late, that they still had time to fix everything, but Vanille was whimpering quietly still. Lightning offered a few soothing words of her own, then left Vanille to Fang's care knowing that the elder tribeswoman could do a better job with Vanille than she ever could.

Now she was kneeling beside Hope, watching him carefully. He had gone through so much for a young boy - killing many men, possibly hundreds, for the mere cause of survival; having to deal with the time bomb on his wrist, the death of his mother, saving the world...and she was amazed at how well he was holding up. She mentioned as much to him, and he gave her the faintest of smiles that faded quickly. At this, Lightning frowned.

"What's wrong, kid?" She asked, tucking a few loose strands behind Hope's ears.

He was silent, chewing thoughtfully on his lips. No answer came, and so Lightning looked to Snow for the response she sought. He hesitated at first, then sighed. "It's the Cie'th. Seeing them up close, seeing what we could become…how easy it is to become them…" Snow sighed and put both hands on his bandana, adjusting it mindlessly. "It's just…creepy."

It did bother her, too. Seeing the monsters that they were doomed to become; to see others become it…it was a shock to her. She had believed that maybe becoming a Cie'th was a slow process, painfully slow, but knowing it could happen so damn _fast _was a reality-check. It reminded her that, as Sazh said, they were living on borrowed time, and unless they fulfilled their focus…

Lightning's hand squeezed Hope's elbow. "That's not going to happen to us, Hope. We won't become Cie'th. We won't be monsters."

"Everybody already thinks we're monsters," Hope said quietly, toying with his hands. "But I guess we have to prove them wrong still, huh?"

"That's right," Snow grinned. "So I think it's about time we did just that. Let's not let Yaag's sacrifice be in vain."

"He deserved to die," Hope said coldly, standing as he did so. "He tried killing all of us. It's his fault so many are dead. Who knows how many other Purges he's conducted? I don't feel bad for him just because he finally did the right thing at the end to make himself feel better."

"It's not his fault, Hope. Not entirely. He thought he was doing what's best for Cocoon—"

"He couldn't see that killing hundreds of people might just be a bad idea?" Hope shot back, stunning Lightning momentarily. "Killing a few people so other idiots won't panic is the dumbest thing I've ever heard of, and he did it!"

"If he wouldn't have done it, then Dysley would have killed him and found somebody else to do it, like Jihl," Snow said severely. "He was just following orders that he thought were for the benefit of Cocoon. That's it."

Hope grumbled to himself and dusted off his shorts. "Ready to go, Light?" he said, looking up to her. She saw the dark glimmer in his eye and her worry for him became more profound. He truly was beginning to hate anything and everything relating to the Sanctum, no matter their role. Perhaps it was all the death he had seen throughout the day, or perhaps the memory of his mother was particularly fresh in his mind. Either way, he was heading down a dangerous road, and she intended on talking to him about it. Eventually.

"Right. Yeah. Let's go." She pressed the call button for the elevator, and moments later the tiny man-carrier arrived. Sazh swore when he realized it was far too small for him to take his velocycle, and as Lightning and Snow squeezed in they saw Vanille and Fang helping the old man out of the bike and consoling him. Lightning pressed the descend button and the doors slammed shut inches from Lightning's nose, and together the two plummeted to the depths below.

"Cozy—"

"I'm worried about Hope," Lightning interrupted quickly, her eyes boring holes into Snow's. A flash of irritation lit across his face, but he regained his laid-back demeanor in a second.

"Oh?" He said lightly, toying with the cuff of his sleeve.

"He's…angry. Really angry."

"I don't blame him. He's lost more than any of us here because of the Sanctum, and since he's so young he probably can't handle it very well."

"That's strange of you to take his side," Lightning started suspiciously, then shook it off. "Whatever. What should we do about him?"

"Let him beat the shit out of Dysley?" Snow offered with a shrug. "Always worked for me. I'm sure it'll help him out, too…though I don't really want an angsty teen following us around for the next who-knows-how-long-until-we-reach-Dysley."

Lightning sighed again. "He just seems so upset. I wish I could do more to help."

"Why are you concerned about him and not Vanille?" Snow lifted a brow in curiosity. "She was balling her eyes out, but you didn't even go up to her."

Her foot tapped impatiently against the elevator's floor. "She's got Fang. Whatever Fang has to say means more to her than anything I could do. Besides, Vanille's at least willing to be emotional and show her feelings. Hope, for the most part, keeps everything all bottled up…and that doesn't lead anywhere good. Trust me."

"Seeing as you're the master of it, I guess I can trust you."

Lightning tapped Snow gently on the shoulder with her knuckles, then dropped her eyes. "We don't need two of me running around, but the more I try to prevent it, the more it seems Hope copies everything I try to do."

"At least he's got a good role model," Snow said, his warm breath tickling her ear. Lightning resisted the temptation to make the moment more intimate and instead stepped outside the elevator, which had just arrived at its destination. She craned her neck back to observe the vaulted ceiling that seemed to defy the laws of gravity before turning her attention to the stunningly detailed, gold-colored walls. Immediately an uneasy sensation began to settle in her stomach, and she verbalized her desire to stay put until the other four arrived. Snow, his face suddenly anxious, nodded in agreement.

When the others were again at Lightning's side, she finally decided to step forward and examine the small, domed structure towards the back of the room. The anxiety was now present among all of them, and as they moved forward and Vanille queried as to the whereabouts of the Calvary, their apprehension was answered by a small horde of lumbering Cie'th. Instinctually the six gathered together and, weapons drawn, shuffled towards the back of the room where they could at least prevent themselves from being surrounded. Once Sazh, Hope, and Vanille's backs hit the wall simultaneously, things changed.

"…what the hell is this?" Sazh bellowed when the tall glass windows began shattering around them.

"No, it can't end like this!" Vanille cried, ripping her rods from her side to cling tightly to them. Already the walls on all sides began to crumble to pieces, following the windows' lead. In their place a blinding white light shone, and despite Lightning's best efforts, she could do nothing but shield her eyes.

"What's going on?" Fang shouted, her voice barely audible over the sounds of the room literally dissipating around them.

Lightning found that she had no answer.

Several moments went by; several moments of blinding light and deafening silence. She tried to speak, but she couldn't hear her own words despite feeling the vibrations of them in her throat. She reached blindly for someone, anyone, praying that she had not lost the others. She gasped in surprise and relief when her hand clutched on to something. She knew not who it was, or what it was, but she didn't care. Fingers white from strain, she refused to let go.

Many minutes – or was it hours? Seconds, perhaps? – passed, and Lightning tried to open her eyes. On each occasion that she did so, she was met with the same whiteness as before and was forced to slam her eyelids shut against the powerful rays. Her eyes were watering relentlessly, she could feel the streaks of liquid on her cheeks, but she didn't dare let go of whatever she had to wipe her face.

She would not lose anyone else.

Finally she felt whatever she held shift, and then a strong hand fell on her shoulder. The voice that came next was tinny and barely audible, but Lightning heard it nonetheless. "Well, this is romantic, eh?"

Her eyes flew open to discover that one arm was wrapped tightly around Vanille's neck, and Lightning's back was pressed so tightly against Fang that she was pretty sure the tribeswoman's breasts were resting on Lightning's head.

Lightning immediately released Vanille, who gave Lightning a weak smile while rubbing at her neck and coughing lightly.

"Sorry, Vanille…I didn't know…"

"It's okay," she said brightly, though it was ended with another cough. "I'm used to things being rough." She cleared her throat, then her eyes grew wide. "I mean, from the fighting and stuff! It's always hard! Not—you didn't take that the wrong way, did you?"

"Vanille, you totally flash ass at everyone here," Snow mumbled. "Of course we all took it wrong."

"_I do not flash ass!_"

"Hate to break up the party," Fang said slowly, "but there's something you all should see."

They all turned to where she was facing and gasped audibly: the room truly had dissolved around them, and now they stood in a purple-hued…cavern of sorts where the walls glowed with an eerie light and irregular shapes flew past them at high speeds.

Lightning walked to the edge of the platform they stood on, weaving between arches as she went, and looked over the sides. There was no floor: everything seemed to extend in all directions into a purple abyss.

"Shit," Sazh whimpered behind her. "I hate my life."

o-o-o

* * *

o-o-o

How can you explain knowing what was to come next when, in all reality, there was no real way to have known? Lightning wondered this almost immediately upon giving the orders for them to rest — for what she knew would be the final time. They took positions against the stark-white walls that had small blue orbs stuck to it in a grid-like pattern, making it seem technologically advanced, sure, but it gave off an unfriendly and unfeeling vibe that did little for the nerves. Sadly, they needed their nerves to be as collected as possible, so it probably wasn't the best room for their break.

Lightning placed her hand against the door frame that would lead to where she believed the final fight would take place. She didn't know why she knew this: it was simply an instinct, deep in her gut.

_This is it, _she thought, her hand tracing slow circles onto the door frame. Her sweat and the oil from her fingers left faint outlines on the door. _The big finale. What will happen to us? _

The recollection of Calvary members and PSICOM men turning to Cie'th was burned into her mind; it was something she would not soon forget. The soldiers had been turned into l'Cie without a focus and so, naturally, they immediately became monsters - Cie'th. If the six l'cie found that their focus went unmet in the room to come, they would become the same things. They would become those _abominations._ There would be no return, and all their work to get this far would be for naught.

Her eyes traveled to Vanille, the young girl whose insight stretched eerily far, and Lightning wondered at the creases in her forehead. What did the young Pulse girl know? What did she remember from before? Were they marching to their doom?

Eyes now went to Fang, who seemed just as curious about Vanille's expression as Lightning. In a rare moment the elder tribeswoman was without her snark and smirk, and instead she donned an expression similar to dread and fear while silently observing her younger counterpart. Was she remembering Oerba? Her time as a l'Cie? Being Ragnarok? What were they contemplating?

Hope and Sazh were sitting together beside Fang, the elder man instructing the younger on how to improve his weapon with various materials they had gathered throughout the journey. Hope was nodding seriously throughout their conversation, and at one point he looked up to meet Lightning's eyes. He gave her a warm smile before looking back down to where Sazh was pointing, then he began to rub a metallic piece along the edges of his boomerang.

Snow was digging furiously through his and Lightning's pack, searching for whatever healing poultices they could find so that they could be conveniently placed at the top of everyone's bag. He seemed happy for the distraction. In fact, all the men seemed to be distracting themselves.

Why couldn't the women seem to do the same?

Lightning sighed and ran her fingers again along the crack of the doorway, almost wanting to peer through to see if her gut was correct in its assumptions. Yet, Dysley _had _to be there. She always felt like this before he appeared, and she doubted her instinct would fail her now.

But what sort of battle would await them? Their last spar with the fal'Cie took quite some time to accomplish, and it drained them badly afterwards. This, however…this was far more serious. They were on Barthandelus' home turf now, playing by his rules. Lightning honestly had no idea what to expect.

"Hey, Snow," Fang's voice startled Lightning from her thoughts and interrupted the still silence that had fallen over the room. "Do you still have that camera? I think this would be a good time to use it."

Snow thought for a second, then nodded and reached in one of his pockets to produce the requested item. It had been given to him after the death of the dinosaur in Eden's Hall by a reporter who didn't seem to be doing much reporting. The man, eccentric at best and with a disturbingly severe case of Tourette's, asked the group of l'Cie to take a camera with them to help log the events that were to take place. Between outbursts of heavy cursing, he managed to give his information so that they could eventually 'return' the photos back to him. He said that, despite knowing that they were the wanted l'Cie, this was too big of an opportunity to pass up and so he was willing to work with the "crotchbutterers", whatever the hell that meant.

They agreed to his proposition on the terms that he take a picture of their group, one for each member of the party, and he begrudgingly did so. Afterwards, he ordained that Snow should be the keeper of the camera while asking that "you sons-of-two-ball-bitches make the shit sure you don't touch me" as he handed the item over. Needless to say, Snow rolled his eyes and ensured that his hands caressed every portion of the reporter's palm while taking the camera, photos, and additional film from him.

Once Fang held the camera, she gave Lightning a small smile. "Doom awaits us on the other side of the door. Might as well make a show of it beforehand." She examined the camera a bit but returned it to Snow, confused. "I don't know how to work it. It's not like the cameras we had."

Snow nodded and held the camera in a readied position, waiting for Fang to position herself. She quickly grabbed Vanille and wrapped her arm around the girl's neck, pulling her close. A forced, cheesy grin was given by both, and the picture was ejected by the camera seconds later.

"Huh. Neat." Vanille took the picture and laughed at the image she saw. Fang, now a bit more excited, asked Snow for another picture of her and Sazh together. Snow agreed, and soon Fang had scooted over towards Sazh and pushed him forward a bit. Sazh groaned and managed a stiff smile. When Fang laid her head amongst the curls of Sazh's afro and released a snort of laughter when the chocobo flew up and rested on Fang's crown, well, Sazh's face split into a grin as well. It made for a fine photo that Fang handed to Sazh.

"You got more ways to keep that safe than I do," she said with a small smile. Sazh looked at the picture with a soft expression, then nodded silently and tucked it away in a pocket inside his jacket.

Soon it was Lightning who was taking pictures of everyone: Sazh and Snow, the three boys, Hope and Vanille, Vanille and Sazh…pretty much every combination available, she was responsible for ensuring a nice picture came out. Lightning admitted to herself that she was feeling a little left out, but she would never vocalize such a petty thought. Instead she continued taking the portraits, without complaint.

Finally Vanille stepped forward and took Lightning's hand, tugging her forward. "Okay, your turn!"

"I'm not one for pictures…"

"Yes you are!" Vanille said, handing the camera to Snow. Lightning rolled her eyes and placed a hand on her hip for the first picture with an overly-posed Fang and Vanille. Fang punched Lightning in the gut lightly—which Snow also got as a picture—then demanded Lightning take a proper photo. She did, eventually, and then more pictures were forced upon her with her and Sazh.

The two soldiers faced each other and nodded slightly while Snow waited for their pose.

"You know, we're more alike than you think," Sazh said with a grin.

"Glad you can say it, 'cause I sure as hell won't admit to it."

Sazh chuckled for a moment, then itched absently at his head. "We've been together from the start, you and me. You're the one that got me into this mess." He held out his hand. "I owe you a lot, Soldier Girl."

Lightning took his hand and nodded again to him, not really knowing what to say. She decided to go with something simple. "I'm glad to have you on my side."

As the two soldiers shook hands, solemnly admitting their respect for each other, Snow snapped a shot. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Snow inspect it closely before handing it to Sazh. Sazh lowly uttered his approval, then tucked that picture away as well.

Next came a photo with she, Hope and Sazh, and then just her and Hope. Hope didn't seem entirely sure how to pose, so she lowered herself down to his level and quickly tried to tame his unruly hair yet again, to no avail. Hope gave her a sheepish grin and tried to plaster down his silver locks with his palm, but it was still useless. Snow took his chance then and got a photo.

"You doing okay?" Lightning asked Hope quickly.

"I'm ready to face Barthandelus. He's going to pay."

"That's right," Lightning assured. She was told that she had another photo coming up, but Hope quickly grabbed her wrist.

"I'm…I'll have your back in there, Light. I'll make sure nothing happens to you, or anyone." His large eyes looked towards her, glistening and full of emotion, before he turned away and went to the corner that Sazh and Vanille now occupied, all preparing for what was sure to come while looking over the photos each possessed.

"Now it's your turn with Snow," Fang said in a sleazy drawl, dragging Lightning away from the others and pushing her around the corner to where Snow was waiting. The two stood near each other a bit awkwardly while Fang examined the camera and tried to figure out how it worked.

"Okay, I think I got it," she said. "Now, for some poses…I got it. Lightning, act like you're going to punch him. It's a classic."

Lightning crossed her arms over her chest and glowered.

"Right. Forget it. Now, what to do…" She thought for a bit while Lightning waited in agitation. "Damn, I suck at this," Fang muttered.

"Don't worry, I got you covered. Just be ready," Snow said, a boyish grin spreading across his face. Once Fang raised the camera, Snow wrapped an arm around Lightning's waist and leaned in and down until his chin was brushing against her temple. Lightning still stood there, arms crossed, too comfortable to move. The lights flashed, and the still of Snow and Lightning was produced with Snow seeming warm and happy, while Lightning played the part of a stoic soldier.

"Wait, we're not done yet," Snow said. Fang nodded and lifted the camera again while Snow dug his free hand in his pocket. He pulled out the stuffed chocobo and held it over Lightning's head, dangling it tantalizingly close. Immediately she grew annoyed and jumped to reach it, just to have Snow pluck it out of her reach. This happened two more times before Fang got another picture, and as soon as she did the chocobo chick disappeared back into Snow's oversized coat. He nodded once to Fang, who grabbed both pictures and chuckled slightly to herself before announcing that she just _had _to show these pictures to Vanille. Lightning quirked a brow at her odd behavior, but she disappeared far too quickly around the corner to join the others.

"What was that-" Lightning began, but stopped when she felt his hands on her shoulders, shoving Lightning backwards into the white wall that had been their backdrop. Snow's hands first tangled themselves in her hair, then trailed down her face, edging across her features and pushing against her lips. She saw white flashes to her side, probably from the blood rushing to her brain, but she lost track of that when cracked lips clashed against hers in a frenzy of desperation.

His hands dropped further still to her neck, and she felt him collecting her hair in one hand before tugging her head to the side, exposing the pearly white flesh of her neck. Lightning restrained any vocalization of the pleasure she may have felt by biting her lip while Snow's attention to the nape of her neck continued with hot kisses, nips, and gentle flicks of the tongue.

The ministrations to her long neck ensued. His free hand lowered to her hips, where the pad of his thumb grazed lightly over the skin of her hipbone, sending flares of energy and heat throughout Lightning. Not knowing what else to do, she buried her head in his shoulder and pressed herself close to Snow, capturing his hand between her and him. She didn't know, really, what she was doing: she just knew that she wanted his growing desire to be as close as possible to the central source of the heat that was coursing throughout her body. To satiate this craving, she lifted one leg and wrapped it around his middle, pulling him close even while he pressed her further into the wall and him. Though there weren't many, all the soft portions of flesh on her body melted into Snow's taut muscles, and she started to believe what people said about how two can become one.

She felt drunk with lust and want, from having held all her sexual longing back for so long, from denying herself the base needs of any woman. Irregular, hot bursts of breath emitted from between her lips, and she felt her body become damp from…from the heat? She didn't know. What she did become aware of, however, was that Snow's lips were now dancing with hers, and she could taste the salty sweat that had seasoned him after an arduous day of fighting. The cadence of their kiss quickened from an _andante _to an _allegro_, and Lightning soon found herself getting lost amongst the flurry of kisses, lip biting, nails digging into skin, and tongues clashing together in a hypnotic dance.

His rough, calloused hands slowly traipsed up her thigh, ever closer to the place that no man had ever been. He slipped beneath the skirt and was nearing the hem of her shorts, but suddenly his body went rather stiff and his hand paused in its tracks, puzzling Lightning and giving her thoughts of ways to make him continue.

The warmth of his palms were removed from her inner thigh and was instead placed at the small of her back, the other on her shoulder. Their pace had slowed somewhat, but Snow was still possessive of Lightning. She tried to pull away once, but he forced her right back, refusing to budge, and she admitted that maybe she didn't really care to back away after all.

She felt his rough fingers along her temple, and suddenly her skin was no longer falling prey to his insatiable lips. Eyes fluttered open to see Snow panting heavily, his hair veiling his eyes to her sight. Though she couldn't see it, she felt the intensity and solemnity of his gaze, and she felt her own eyes drop under the scrutiny.

He pressed another rough kiss against her lips. "This is only goodbye for now. I plan on doing this again in a couple weeks," he growled hoarsely.

She tried to respond, but her standing leg felt like jelly and she found that she was pinned so tightly against the wall that she could barely take a proper breath. Her hands gently pushed Snow back so she could breathe. "Sounds good," she chuckled weakly, using him for support. Snow ensnared her into a powerful embrace that she knew would not end any time soon.

Quiet clapping was heard to Lightning's right. "Gotta admit, that wasn't shit: it was steamy. I imagine the steamier bits are gonna happen after we fight that Dysley guy, though, right? I mean, it'd be a waste of a perfectly good erection, otherwise." Fang motioned towards the lower half of Snow, and now that she pointed it out, Lightning _did _feel something…hard.

_Did…I cause that?_

It was strange. She never caused an erection before.

At least, not that she knew of.

_But...wait..._

"_What the hell are you doing here?" _Lightning hissed, lurching towards Fang to give the damn woman a piece of her thoughts. Snow held her back, somehow, but Fang acted as if Lightning had said nothing at all.

Instead Fang grinned widely at Snow's tinged cheeks and severe frown. "Happens to Sazh all the time, don't worry," she said. "And I certainly intend on doing something afterwards to help him out, if you know what I'm saying."

"It's kinda hard not to know, Fang," Snow said. Lightning nearly swore at the giant smirk that slowly spread on the man's still-bright face. Did he not care that she had been there for all of that? What the hell was wrong with guys?

"You can't give us a damn moment of privacy?" Lightning shot at Fang, who merely shrugged and handed at least a dozen pictures to Snow.

"It was my responsibility to create memories. I did that. Pretty well, too, if you ask me," she added, pointing at a picture of Snow paying attention to...

...how had they not noticed her? Were they so lost in themselves that...?

"I appreciate it, Fang," Snow said with a small salute. "I mean, not you spying on us and acting like some pervert but, you know..."

"Might want to keep those away from the kids," she advised before giving the two of them a thumbs-up and a wink as she left.

Lightning first tried to snatch the pictures from Snow's hand, but after several minutes of failure she leaned over Snow's elbow to examine the rest of the damning evidence while trying to swallow her rage and ignore the odd tightness Snow's pants seemed to have adopted. The first two pictures were decent, with a stiff pose and a photo with the damn chocobo, but the next dozen were of the two of them in various stages of kissing, with the last being Snow, eyes closed, embracing Lightning.

She felt slightly ashamed at the pictures; that they existed.

_Damn you, you stupid bitch. Damn you to hell. I hope you get destroyed by Dysley. You should be - no, you know what? I'm going to kill her. I'm going to turn around in the battle and shove my sword through that wench's heart._

Despite her thoughts, she managed to ask Snow to dispose of the pictures. Rather politely, too, all things considered.

Snow, oblivious to her rage and entirely enraptured by the photos, responded with,"You don't have to look at them if you don't want to, but I want them."

_Ah, damn it. If Serah sees…_

_ No, he'll get rid of them by then. He wouldn't keep any evidence. Fang might have been a total ass and a bit of a creep, but at least these photos won't last.  
_

Lightning sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, mussing it up even more than it already was. "Fine, keep them," she resigned. Her back met the too-familiar wall again and her head turned towards Snow, who was tucking the pictures into the same pocket that the damn chocobo was in. She released a pent-up breath to vent some steam. "Everything's coming to a close soon," Lightning said, watching Snow closely to gauge his reaction. "It'll all be decided with this one last fight. I…wonder what's going to happen to all of us—"

"We'll be fine," Snow said quickly, harshly. "Nothing can happen to us. We're unstoppable." After a small hesitation, he gave an uneasy smile.

"You don't believe that."

"I do too."

"Don't lie to me, Villiers," Lightning whispered. "You're as easy to read as a book. You're worried something will happen. You wouldn't have have done all...all _that_, otherwise."

"Nobody's going to get hurt. We'll be fine."

Lightning sighed at his blatant denial of his own feelings, despite how obvious they were. Did he not trust her enough to talk about his feelings, or was it some man-thing where he had to act all strong for a woman? Either way, it was somewhat aggravating.

"We should get back to the others and prepare. There's…a lot at stake. I don't want to go in and realize I don't have my sword or something," Lightning said, despite dreading the idea of seeing Fang again. She hoped she'd be able to control her temper...at least somewhat.

Snow just gave her a nod of understanding, then motioned for her to lead the way. She took a step forward, then stopped just long enough to press her hand against Snow's arm, squeezing it gently. "Thanks, Snow, for everything. I mean it."

He cocked his head at her, unsure. "What did I do, other than try not to ravish you?"

Lightning chuckled quietly. "Don't worry about it. Just know you have my thanks."

He shrugged and tagged along behind her, both following the path Fang just walked to where the others were waiting.

Lightning never really knew first-hand what a walk of shame was, but she imagined it to be similar to what she was doing now. As she and Snow rounded the corner together, Fang and Vanille's attention immediately flew to them, with Vanille bursting into random giggle-fits every now and again. Hope seemed intent on avoiding anything to do with Lightning at the moment, and Sazh kept wiggling his eyebrows at Snow, then tossed a silent cheer in for good measure. Lightning's face burned even as she shot Fang dagger-eyes, but she still kept her head high and stomped right on over to where Sazh and Hope sat, yet again working on their equipment.

"So," Sazh said, drawing out the vowel for far too long. He quickly snapped his head up to look at Lightning. "Fang says you have some nice pictures—"

"I'm not above hitting a crippled man," Lightning seethed, thrusting her weapon in Sazh's face. The old man didn't take the threat and instead was trying to subdue his laughter.

"Got it, got it. So, you need your blade waxed or - oh, no, that would be Snow who would need that, huh?"

_Damn it, even Hope is trying not to grin._

"I'm sure Lightning's needs a rub-down, too," Vanille chimed in. Snow and Sazh gaped at her, while Fang's snort echoed throughout the room.

"You know what? I'm going to let Dysley kill you all for me. Not just Fang. All of you."

Sazh laughed again. "You know, I bet you a thousand gil that the biggest thing up that old man's ass is that he hasn't been laid in years," he said, using a small chisel to punctuate the air. "No woman, or man, in their right man would sleep with that thing."

"He's not human," Hope reminded him, but Sazh waved the very valid point off.

"Don't matter. Everything has sex at some point. Well, at least, I think so. Hell, I don't know, but still: he hasn't been laid in years."

"He's a fal'Cie, Sazh—"

"Dammit, boy, don't you listen?"

"Actually, I think his biggest problem is that he's still alive," Fang added in. "Otherwise, Sazh, you'd be just like him."

"It's been three damn years, not a thousand! Don't compare me to that thing!"

Snow coughed in his corner, drawing everyone's attention to him. "I think Fang has a point: so long as he's alive, he's gonna be a headache. How about we get ready to take care of that problem?"

"Spoilsport," Sazh mumbled, grabbing Lightning's still-outstretched weapon. He examined the blade before digging through his goodie-bag and producing a few scraps of metal. "Lemme work my magic for a few minutes and this'll be as good as new."

"Thanks," Lightning nodded, purposefully turning so that she wouldn't face Snow. Embarrassment was still near and any reminder of what just occurred would provoke that embarrassment to new heights. She didn't want to go into Orphan's lair with a reddened face.

She turned instead to Fang and Vanille, kneeling down to watch them prepare. She hated being in this close of proximity to the elder tribeswoman, but after what Snow had asked in the elevator she thought she owed Vanille a small conversation or two.

"You two were pretty—"

"Shut up and talk about something else, bitch," Lightning hissed at Fang, stuffing a potion into a bag rather roughly.

Coughing politely, Fang obliged. "Okay, well, uh…I'm looking forward to handing Barty's balls to him in a handpurse," she said with a wicked grin.

"Please. You'll end up being the first that Hope will have to revive," Lightning muttered, rolling her eyes.

"You know you need me to win this. I'm the best at everything."

_She is pretty damn good at everything, _Lightning conceded. _Gods, I hate her sometimes._

"Being Ragnarok must have made me awesome," Fang continued with a smug smile while Vanille shook her head.

"She's always like this before some big event. She's gotta talk herself up a bit, y'know?"

"I guess," Lightning said. Speaking further to Fang would only encourage Lightning's current case of unrivaled anger, so she turned to her main target. "Vanille, how are you holding up?"

Vanille seemed surprised by the question, but tried to recover quickly. "I'm…doing fine. A little nervous. I hope we aren't too late…it was so hard to tell time in those stupid rooms with all those things flying past."

Lightning nodded slowly, thinking. How much time _had _gone past? "I think we're still good to go. We're not Cie'th yet, right?"

At the mention of the monsters, Vanille's head hung low. "Those poor soldiers…I hope they can find peace somewhere. They didn't deserve to be turned like that."

"That's why we're fighting," Fang said. "Because of the injustice and possible planet erupting and everything. Bad guys gotta die to the good guys, and Dysley is just one more bad guy that needs to go."

Vanille began twisting her locks around her finger nervously, still deep in thought. "We should have healed Yaag," She said quietly. "I don't understand why we didn't. Maybe he'd still be alive—"

"He wanted to die that way, Vanille," Lightning said, her voice stern. She, too, had thought about why they hadn't offered this service to him, but eventually she reached her conclusion. "He had committed countless atrocities under the name of the Sanctum: hundreds of innocents have died by his hand, and many more could have been killed during our Purge if we wouldn't have stopped it. He knew what he was doing, but still he chose to keep doing it." Lightning slumped back against the wall, aiming a thin stream of air at a lone strand of hair that had fallen in her eye. "His death, in his eyes, probably righted those wrongs."

"Bastard got out easy," Fang muttered, testing the edge of her lance. "Woulda been poetic justice if he lived."

"True enough," Lightning said darkly, returning to the task of repacking their supply packs.

Many minutes of near-silence stretched before them while all attended to the needs of their weapons and supplies. The apprehension was beginning to settle in again, now that everyone was thinking their own thoughts and not being interrupted by others. Even Snow, usually rather oblivious to the events to come, seemed to be unusually still, casting fleeting glances towards Lightning now and again. She caught them, on occasion, and tried to give him a reassuring head-nod, but they were never returned. Many times he would only flash a quick smile before his face darkened and he turned away.

She knew what they were wondering, far too well.

_What if we don't succeed?_

If they didn't prove the victors, Cocoon was doomed. It was as simple as that.

They had no room for error here.

_Can we really do this? We struggled so much with Barthandelus last time, and the fights coming to this point were anything but easy..._

Doubts began to creep in, slowly. She knew how much was at stake, and she knew how crippling doubt could be. Knowing that, however, did not help.

They were good, and if anyone could defeat Barthandelus, well...it would be them. But being the best at what they did and performing a feat such as the one they were going to be forced to perform...they were two entirely different matters.

_Strategies need to be formed. Battle positions. Escape scenarios. Battle development. I need to start thinking._

_Hope needs to concentrate first on defensive buffs for all of us, and then switch to offensive spells. Vanille's focus will be healing only, and if she needs help then Hope or myself can jump in to assist. Sazh will sabotage the enemy's defenses while Snow, Fang and I fight offensively. Snow and Fang can be the main physical fighters, I can alternate between physical and magic. If the enemy starts concentrating too much on Hope, Vanille, or Sazh-_

This carried on for some time, and the logic and solidity of her planning helped to ease her nerves. She thought of as many possible situations as possible and determined how she would react to them ahead of time; thought of various ways to escape sticky situations, and then considered as many worst-case scenarios as her imagination would allow her to. She committed each and every tactic to memory before nodding quietly to herself.

Fang, who had apparently been observing her for some time, noticed the nod. "Got the battle plans all figured out, eh?"

Lightning was slightly taken aback. Was she that obvious?

"Everyone knows when you're thinking. You get this scrunched-up look on your face and you look ridiculous," Fang answered the unasked question for Lightning. "Anyway, did you?"

Regaining her cool demeanor, Lightning responded with a solid "Yes".

"Well, whatever plan you have is better than the crap I can come up with, so..." Fang gave the tiniest of smirks. "What's our plan, Leader?"

Lightning wasted no time in explaining the details she had thought out, and she ensured that each and every member knew their roles and who would be in command by using simple and precise wording. She would _not _allow one of them to fall because of any confusion about roles. That was simply unacceptable.

Once she finished describing everything as explicitly as possible, she looked each member of the party in the eye and asked if there were any questions related to their role or where they should be in battle.

There were none.

She stood and dusted off her skirt, although no dust had gathered on her during their rest in the immaculate room. The other five followed her example and stood as well, weapons in-hand and ready.

"This is it, guys," Lightning began, walking towards the door that would lead them to their fate. "This is what we've been fighting for. I don't know what's waiting for us, but whatever it is, we're ready for it." Her hand rested on the cool metal. "We're all different people, different personalities from different backgrounds, but we've overcome our differences to become a cohesive unit. We've overpowered small armies on our own, taken on the Sanctum single-handedly, and, damn it, we're going to come out the victors here, too."

Sazh chuckled behind her.

"Despite the odds, we managed to find each other and stick together. Our fates have intertwined and we've been forced to rely on each other to survive. With the aid of each other, we've discovered what our breaking points are, where are weaknesses lay, and we've become stronger for it." She paused for a moment to think. "Don't let your doubts fool you: together, we are strong. Together we are, and have been, unstoppable. We are a force to be reckoned with, and the Sanctum knows it. As long as we're together, as long as we fight as one, none of that is going to change."

Her hand forced the door open, and began her march inside with the others close behind. She heard the footsteps echo off the metallic unknown, but her mind was too focused on what was to come.

"Do you hear me, Dysley? We will not fall here!"

The others responded to her with their own cheers and battle-cries, and together they stormed forward to kick their fate in the ass.


	25. Restoration of Humanity

It enveloped her, the darkness did. It was familiar to her: something that she seemed to have always known. Her memory recollected nothing before this shadowy existence. There was nothing around her, no person, either, but that was how it had always been. It didn't bother her. It was a mindless existence, one where time had no hold, and nothing had occurred before to make her think otherwise.

At least, that's what she originally believed. Now, though, she wasn't so certain. She had seen flashes of things; images that hinted at a world beyond this empty life, one filled with colors and emotions and actual _things_.

There were so many things that she did not know: so many aspects of these images that she did not understand. She did not know what she was looking at. She knew nothing at all. It was all so foreign and strange, and yet…and yet she _remembered_.

It was only small fragments, pieces that made little sense. First came colors: vivid splashes of pink, blond, silver, and black, mostly. As each raced by, there was a shadow attached to it, something that she was unable to recall. When she tried to concentrate on this, there was almost an invasion in her mind, something that was purely impulsive, seeming to demand that she cease these recollections at once. The feeling of primal rage echoed forth from this impulse, a rage that verged on violence, and it took every fiber of her being to fight it back so she could dwell on the beautiful colors once more.

Peace was granted to her again, allowing her to continue to contemplate the shadows from before. As she strained her mind on the most prevalent color, pink, a figure began to form. She knew that it had arms, legs, a head, but knew not what it was that she was beholding. How could this figure exist in her world of nothingness?

Her brain stretched to find a word for the form that she was able to see, and after much deliberation she came to the conclusion that perhaps it would be best to name it a 'human'. Where the name came from she wasn't sure, but it fit. Once giving the being a name, she was able to see more details, as if the name had conjured up a more vivid memory all in itself. Its skin was creamy white with the pink spilling over its shoulder in cascading curls that were tied with a band near the skull. Its face was narrow and thin with a similarly fashioned body. White cloth covered her torso, while mainly red seemed to consist of the cloth that covered her lower portion.

This figure was extremely familiar, but why…?

Frustration built up within her, and the irritation that stemmed from that emotion threatened to break down the barriers that kept the anger at bay. Slowly, ever so slowly, calmness swept over her and she was able to further investigate her memory.

_This 'human' is female._

This in and of itself was a breakthrough, but the next thought was especially so:

_Female? Sisters are female…This was my sister. This was Serah._

At this revelation, she no longer viewed simple concepts like colors or individual people. She was plunged headfirst into memories that she carried from some life that had long-since passed.

_The human – no, her sister, Serah, appeared to be very young, still a small child. Her pink tresses were cast haplessly over her shoulder with a few strands sticking out on end. Her face was scarlet and her mouth was screwed into a severe frown, blue eyes flashing dangerously, especially for one so young. They argued about something, but the words and context did not make sense. She held a broken doll in one hand and, without hesitation, threw the decapitated head of the toy directly into the eyes that beheld her._

_A sudden change in memories took her elsewhere. Now she was in front of an old house, with two older individuals in the background. These two elder humans sat together, the female appearing weary as she rested her head against the other. _

_This second human seemed much different than Serah and this new female – it was much taller, much more burly, and scratchy hairs grew around its jaw and mouth. Quickly she understood that this is what must be considered 'male'._

_The male and female turned their attention to each other as she and Serah, now slightly older, prepared a lemonade stand in the yard. They were so consumed by this task that they neither noticed the adults behind them, nor the new, smaller boy that appeared from their right._

_He came to them, took a cup of the sour yellow liquid and splashed it over Serah's new dress, calling her childish names in the process. Angry and nearly twice the boy's height, Lightning (_that was her name_!) ran forward and punched him in the face, telling him that if he ever touched her sister again, she would find him and break his face, permanently._

A pause took place at the end of this recollection as the faces of the two adults came to mind. The woman bore eerily similar hair to that of Serah's, and the man's gruff appearance rang a distant bell as well. He donned eyes that matched Serah's and a similar, sunny disposition that coincided with hers as well. If Lightning didn't know better, she'd have thought that these two adults gave Serah their attributes and…

_No, they _did _give her those attributes. Those are her parents—_my _parents. My mother and my father._

Time shifted and warped around her, transporting her to a new place with far less charm.

_There were many humans—no, people—gathered in a large hall, but all seemed to have coordinated their dress: everyone wore black. Their faces were downcast and far from smiling. Serah was there, amongst the crowd, sitting on a small chair in a corner. Lightning watched Serah's gaze shift between the people present, all wearing black, all with grim countenances and whispering, and Serah couldn't seem stand the solemnity any longer. She ran to the front of the room where few people were standing; where a long, wooden box dominated the setting, and she steered herself to the edge of the wooden frame of the box._

_No, that wasn't a box. _

_It was their father's casket._

_Serah leaned forward as tears streamed down her cheeks, peering over the box, crying out for her father, begging him to wake up. Everyone in the room went still, watching as Lightning took several steps forward and reached for Serah's shoulder, holding her close as the young girl sobbed into Lightning's chest. Serah's body convulsed, the power of her cries overwhelming her tiny frame, and soon Lightning found that she could no longer hold the tears back herself. Silently the salty droplets fell from the corners of her eyes, burying themselves in Serah's hair. Serah continued to cry, softly moaning her father's name, oblivious to the waterfall that streamed onto her crown._

_No matter what comforting words Lightning offered, no matter how much she tried to swallow back her tears and act strong, nothing eased the pain that Serah felt. She still wailed, her cries haunting Lightning's mind even now. Soon a woman came forth, slowly prying Serah away from Lightning. With an angry, accusing glare, Lightning's head snapped up to see who dared to separate her from her sister, but she was met with her mother's tear-stained visage. An invitation was given to Lightning to come with Serah and their mother, but Lightning shook her head, saying she wanted to stay with her father. _

_When the room was absent of her immediate family, Lightning cautiously approached the casket, holding her breath as she did so, biting her tongue to distract her from the burning in her eyes. She peered over the edge of the wooden frame, squinting, afraid of what she might see. The sudden pain that pierced through her heart sent her tumbling backwards, backing away from the shade that resembled her father. Whoever that man was, it was not he: her father was a man that was full of life, full of laughs, with a rosy tint to his face and a sparkle in his eye, never to be caught in fancy clothes. This stranger, though bearing some resemblance, was not her father. He would never have been so pale, so dressed up with his hair so finely combed. He would not be resting so when his friends and family were about._

_Her father was not dead. He could not be dead._

_She backed away from the casket, mortified by what she had seen, and looked frantically around the room for some escape from this sick imposter. Even while the tears fell in tidal waves from her cheeks, even while she ran to find the comfort of her mother's arms, she still allowed herself to believe the lie that she had crafted to ease the pain that throbbed within her. She turned the corner, knowing that her mother and sister would be there, but when she rounded the corner-_

_The image shifted again. It still had the same weighty feel, but the setting was entirely different. Everything was an uncomfortable, stark-white: the walls, the sheets, the uniform of the woman at the bedside…_

_Lightning blinked several times, inching closer to the bed while firmly grasping the hand of her sister next to her. She would not allow herself to show weakness. Not in front of Serah, and certainly not in front of her ailing mother._

_Lightning's face was tight, serious, while she watched the labored breathing of the woman that had brought Lightning into the world so long ago. Her pink hair spilled out around her in all directions like a fan, looking like champagne had spilled onto the pristine pillowcases. She saw the pain-furrowed brows, the creases on her mother's forehead, and she had to look away, to find something else to linger on. This sight was simply too much._

_Her mother requested that Serah go fetch the nurse to ask for some water. Serah, ever the pleaser, jumped up and ran for the door. Now alone, Lightning's mother beckoned for her to draw closer. After a slight hesitation, Lightning obeyed and, upon her mother's offer, took the clammy hand that was given. As she listened to what would be her mother's final request, Lightning did everything she could to focus only on the wall, to blot out the emotions that were threatening to surge forth under her cool exterior. By the time her mother was finished, she had asked more of Lightning than any woman should ever ask a teenage girl, but Lightning swore that she would uphold every wish._

_She closed her eyes so her mother would not see the anguish that Lightning felt brewing within her as the weight of her mother's words began to take root. _

_When she lifted her lids again, her heart sank._

_Everything was the same as before: the stuffiness, the heaviness, the solemn faces and moroseness of everyone present, the all-black garments and the long, wooden box at the front…_

_Lightning was leaning over the edge of the casket, no longer believing that this funeral was an elaborate ruse, like she had when her father had died. She understood the reality of the situation far better than anyone else present. _

_Some resentment was held towards her mother for making a teen promise the things that she had. It would mean the end to the life that Lightning knew and the beginning of a hard career as a soldier—the only job that would accept someone as young as she and still pay decently. She was responsible for raising a twelve-year-old to adulthood, ensuring that she came out okay because, despite the number of people present, nobody else was family. Nobody cared enough to lend a helping hand._

_Serah, as quiet as a mouse, approached Lightning with drooping shoulders. She wasn't sobbing, not like last time. She simply looked lost. Lightning came up to her, wrapped her arms around the girl's shoulders, and allowed the shudders of Serah's silent grieving to take their course through her body. A lump formed in Lightning's throat and she wished she could release her own grief, as her sister was now doing, but she had to refuse. She had to be strong for this little girl who was now without parents. She had to show Serah that life would go on, and that they'd be okay with just the two of them._

_Because, this time, there was no woman to come take Serah away, to banish her fears and sorrow. This time, Lightning was alone; the only member of her family left to take care of this sad little girl she now held._

_Flash forward a few days: it was her first day free after dropping out of school, and one day before she began her training in the Guardian Corps. She kneeled on the grass with a bouquet of flowers clutched in one hand, her free hand tracing the letters on the stone before her. She paused and glanced around at the other headstones surrounding her, wondering how many others had left orphans behind, before leveling her gaze on the fresh mound of dirt beneath her._

_Her name used to be Claire, she recalled, but not any longer. Claire was helpless, able to do nothing more than watch those she loved fall ill and die; to see them suffer and shed tears of pain and sorrow. She was able to do nothing to help them, and if she were to help Serah avoid such a fate, she could no longer be the same person. That destiny was not her sister's to share, and to ensure it, she would become someone else. Someone new._

_"My name is Lightning now," she said quietly, gently placing the flowers at the foot of the headstone before rising stiffly to her feet. Rubbing her arms to restore the warmth, she began to walk away from the sad place that was home to those that both created and destroyed the little girl known as Claire._

It dawned on Lightning that perhaps she was still the human she remembered being, that perhaps she still existed. She used the memories that had been conjured through sheer force of will and tried to get a bearing on who, or what, she now was. The only response she received was the rage. It was lessened, but it still beckoned for her to give in, to rid herself of her past life and embrace what had been bestowed upon her. She didn't know what it meant, but she feared its call, and so she buried herself once more in the past.

_Arrangements had been previously made for Lightning to enter the GC. She had aced the entrance examination and passed the physical tests with flying colors. The only area she scored low on was the area of social interactions, where she barely scraped by. Still, though, the professors had been impressed, and since few females were enrolled, they were glad to have Lightning on board._

_Instead of a classroom mixed with a fairly even male-to-female ratio, she was in a predominantly male setting. One day she had stood across from a boy, not much older than her, and both had their weapons unsheathed. The fight began, and it wasn't long until the victor was decided._

_She walked away from the unconscious boy's body and heard the other males whisper about her masculinity, saying she was only top of the class for performing special deeds for the teacher, for saying-_

_She soon learned to block it all out and concentrate on little more than her target because it didn't matter what they said. Not anymore. _

_As she grew older, there had been a few times where she was invited to parties hosted by either the GC Professors, which were typically suit-and-tie events, or parties held by the general student body. She rarely attended the former, and never once attended the latter. She was always nose deep in her books or out practicing her swordplay. She had no tolerance for treating this career like a game or some social event: her sister was counting on the income she would earn, and to earn the best pay she had to be the best soldier. There was no room for anything less than perfection._

_A year later, when Lightning had established her career in the GC as a diligent soldier, it became apparent that she was consumed by her work. She gave up everything to ensure Serah was well provided for: when asked if she would go out, the answer was always 'no'; on her days off she would volunteer to work extra shifts to get paid overtime; she never went on a date, rarely ever went shopping for herself, or went out to socialize in general. Her only friends were her weapons and the only thing she knew to rely on was herself. _

_Serah was lonely, certainly, but Lightning assured her that there was no other way to go about it. Serah wanted to attend college, to be a teacher, and so, to make sure that happened, Lightning worked her ass off to save up enough money. It didn't help that their parents had left the house in subpar condition, or that, between Serah and Lightning, food never seemed to last for more than a few days. _

_Serah loved shopping and would often take the allowance granted to her by Lightning to go and buy new outfits for herself, but Lightning never had the opportunity to join her. The repairs on the house had to be done, and so Lightning did her best to do that on her own. If she wasn't working on the house or her job, she was either trying to help Serah with homework or, more likely, trying to catch up on sleep. There was rarely a free moment where the two could spend time together._

_Of course, there were also fights. Usually it would be because Serah would get home from a friend's house late, forget to do her homework, or simply that Serah wanted Lightning around more._

_They had gotten into a terrible fight about that once, she recalled. Serah had burst into tears, saying that she really was an orphan with no family, that her own sister abandoned her. Lightning, no longer understanding the language of despair, retorted that Serah should just suck it up and act like an adult, since Lightning was doing everything for Serah's sake. She should have stopped there, but she continued on, telling Serah all her grievances – about how she, Lightning, was not allowed a life because she was so busy ensuring that Serah would be able to live like Lightning had not. It carried on for nearly an hour before Serah ran off for two days to stay at a friend's, leaving Lightning feeling bitter and alone. _

_Other scenarios passed by until, quite suddenly, she was standing in the sand of a beach on a particularly sunny day. She was wearing an all-black outfit, slaying fiends, when a group of young people approached her._

_She recognized one of them. He was tall, blond, muscular and unreasonably attractive. But, despite this, she spoke to him harshly, her scathing words and biting remarks attempting to slaughter his ego. He had asked her out once, but she refused, as she always did despite the longing for a night out with a good-looking guy. She had not been on a date since, well… ever. It seemed as if this day wasn't about to change that record._

_Another day was prominent in her mind: when she was promoted to sergeant. Her town was a small town, and so something like a promotion to the ranks of sergeant was a big deal. A large group gathered in town and watched the ceremony take place. Others were being promoted to various ranks, but Lightning was the highest-ranking among them. When her turn came up, she walked forward to a beefy man with a moustache and accepted the shoulder plate that was assigned to her. This man stepped aside, bowed, and presented Lightning to the crowd. Everyone cheered, and when she looked down at those gathered immediately before her, she first saw Serah with her sad smile, clapping politely for Lightning and wiping away a small tear. _

_The next person she saw was the blond man, winking at her, and a tall, tanned man avoiding her gaze. _

_Other days passed by, but few seemed to be of little import. It was simply life going on as it always had. One night showed people milling about while Lightning was on security detail, and she was approached by her superior about being promoted. Then there was talk of a much-needed vacation with Serah followed by fireworks…_

_There was a light shining on one memory where she stood within her own home, angry and upset, while a giant of a blond stood near her, accusing her of not listening. Lightning, though unsure of what the subject was about, knew that her outrage covered her guilty conscience, and despite wanting to probe for the truth that she believed to be hidden, she turned her back and paid no further heed to the man behind her. When he left, she turned back around, noted the silence, then hung her head, her hand clenching a new dagger that rested on the tabletop. _

_Then there was the train with many hooded civilians, where their fear was palpable. Everyone's nerves were on edge, including Lightning's, but she knew what she had to do. She had a man she could trust to aid her at her side, despite his hesitation to join her, and she knew she was more skilled than these PSICOM soldiers that were posted at random intervals on the train. She wasn't about to allow these bastards to lead her to her death._

_Thoughts and memories skidded by until they paused at a distinct thought. She was with a group of four others: a young girl with pigtails, a boy with silver hair, a man with an afro, and the tall, muscular man from before._

_But she wasn't on some fun outing with the group, nor was she on a date with the blond man. No, instead, she was punching him. He fell to the ground and got back up, only to fall again by the fury her fist contained. She saw the flash of anger in his eyes and felt regret, but that did not quench the rage, hurt, and guilt that swelled in her breast._

_Wait, her breast? There was a marking on her breast...a tattoo? When did she get a tattoo?_

Memories continued to fade in and out, but after the memory of the beatdown, there seemed to be one major consistency in each one: the blond man. He was always ready to jump into the fray, to be her guardian, to ensure that she would not fall victim to any fiend's attacks. She watched as he took blow after blow for her, throwing himself into harms' way to ensure Lightning's safety. Even after suffering one punishing strike, he would turn around and see if she was in one piece, offering what little bit of assistance that he could to make her better if her condition was less than perfect. He did everything to protect her, even if it meant suffering ungodly damage to do so.

As she witnessed these memories, a familiar feeling began to stir within her. She knew this man very well, and she felt something akin to adulation – no, adoration, maybe, towards him. She respected him, cared deeply for him.

But love stirred within her for others as well. If she stretched her mind a bit, she remembered a young boy. Silver hair erupted everywhere, and she saw his bright, round eyes that had shown fear at first, but grew to confidence as he realized his own strength. Though the soft spot in her heart was a different sort of affection from the blond before, it was no less powerful. For this boy she felt motherly love, a tenderness that she had formerly only shown to Serah. Whenever this boy looked up at her with those eyes, it made her heart feel lighter and happier; it made her feel like she was making a difference that counted in this crazed world.

Among the other memories were two other people that would appear now and again: a black man, the one with the afro, and the young, pig-tailed girl. Towards the man with the afro, she felt camaraderie. He was a good friend, somebody she could relate to on many levels. He had understood the same feeling of loss that Lightning had experienced and known what it meant to sacrifice everything for those you love. They had conversed about the subject occasionally, she recalled, and those conversations helped to craft a friendship she never imagined having.

The girl, however, was a different case. Lightning realized she didn't know much about her, but she respected her abilities and her want to protect her dearest friend.

But…who was her dearest friend?

In fact, how did she even know these people?

Then, as if in answer, like it had been waiting all this time, the final image burst forth: a woman with crazy hair, a blue sari, a lance…

_Fang._

What had Fang done? She had agreed to become Ragnarok, agreed to bring 'salvation' to the land—

_That was it._

That was the spark she needed. Everything rushed back to her, connecting all the missing pieces to form a beautiful whole.

_A Pulse fal'Cie turned me into l'Cie and gave me a focus that no one truly understood. Serah, who had become a l'Cie before me, told us to help Cocoon. After hearing this from Serah, she turned into a crystal, and we vowed to uphold her wish. We would save Cocoon, not destroy it._

_The people I saw before are l'Cie, like me, and have travelled with me from the beginning. Those people were my reason for fighting, for continuing on despite how ominous our future looked. The boy was Hope. The girl, Vanille. Sazh. Serah. Fang. Snow…_

_I fell for Snow, even though he is my sister's fiancée. _

_But that doesn't matter. Not right now._

She used the memories that she had conjured to strengthen her as she opened the door to where the rage resided. It threatened to take her over, to consume her fully, but she recalled those that were counting on her and all the tasks left undone, and somehow she managed to fight back. She pushed and shoved her way through the desire to harm and to kill, to bring destruction upon the land, even though it seemed so natural for her to do so. She became aware of where her body – her actual body – was in time and space, and soon, very soon, she felt her humanity begin to restore itself within the hollow shell that had taken over.

_There are things to do and people to save. Memories are nice, but that's all they are: something to dwell on while the world carries on without you. I have a place to be, a fal'Cie to kill, a world to rescue, and friends to save. I cannot be sitting here, in this void, reminiscing. I have remembered, and I will not be a Cie'th any longer._

_Not when I still have a focus to complete._


	26. Reuniting

When she remembered it all, when she realized what had occurred because of that damn Barthandelus, she had been quite pissed-off in her prostrate position. Then the anger passed away, dissolving with the last remains of her monstrous shell, leaving only a sense of pride in its place: she had done what no other had. She had defied the whims of the fal'Cie, had refrained from remaining a Cie'th. She was human again, whole again, and once more with her peers. The cost of becoming complete was emotionally draining, and the vivid recollections of her past left her heart feeling heavier than it had in years, but it was worth it.

She rubbed her eyes to rid herself of the memories that still floated in her vision, allowing herself to come again to the situation at hand. With clear sight she was now able to view what was occurring: Fang was hanging by her wrists from the clutches of the fal'Cie, and nearly lethal surges of electricity were being pumped into her body. She would be electrocuted, her body would spasm from the electric current, and then she'd fall unconscious only to be revived again to have the process repeated.

Lightning wanted nothing more than to blow the hell out of Barthandelus. Or Orphan. Or whatever the hell the fal'Cie's name was now. She didn't know, she didn't care. She just wanted it dead.

She placed the flat of her palms against the ground and pressed her body upwards, but was surprised to find some resistance against her legs. When she twisted her torso around she spotted Hope's head resting on the back of her knee, Snow's leg crossing over one thigh and burying itself beneath Sazh's chest, and Sazh's afro was tickling the inside of her thigh. Vanille was nowhere to be seen and, in a moment of panic where Lightning frantically searched the room again, she was able to spot the young girl's tear-stained face below where Fang was hanging.

Cursing quietly, she wriggled her legs, trying to free herself from the weight of the men while still trying to be as quiet as possible, so that the idea of a stealthy attack could remain a viable option. Her motion must have roused the others because, one by one, their heads slowly began to pop up and they all rubbed their eyes, as Lightning had done. They looked around blearily at first and, once realizing how their bodies were intertwined, they scuffled back several inches in shock.

Sazh's eyes were angry slits, and his mouth opened wide, probably to tell the fal'Cie exactly what he thought of its tricks, but Lightning quietly slapped a hand over his mouth and put a finger to her lips, signaling for him to be quiet. She felt his scratchy lips move against her hand, but soon the movements ceased and she was able to draw her hand away.

Hope and Snow glanced at each other first, the latter giving a cockeyed grin to the former. The grin vanished when Snow's gaze snapped towards the sound of an agonizing scream that belonged to Fang, and, at the same time, the four Pulse l'Cie's nodded their heads to each other, drew their weapons, and helped each other to stand.

Sazh, Hope, and Lightning stood in a tight cluster while Snow slowly crept along the sides to where Fang was being held. Vanille was shouting, saying she'd rather fight and lose than give up. Using that as some semblance of a signal, Lightning quickly nodded to the other two and, at once, they recalled their l'Cie abilities and sent forth three waves of fire towards their foe.

The puppetmaster was hit directly by the blast and recoiled, sending Fang flying through the air. Snow seemed to quickly figure out the trajectory of the woman's body and sprinted to where it would land. He caught the tribeswoman easily within his arms, sinking to his knees to keep the momentum from her fall sending them skidding back.

"Miracles out of misery?" Sazh growled low, his gun by his ear. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Yeah, Fang," Hope said, holding out his arm to send a reviving spell into Fang's body. "Who'd be dumb enough to swallow that crock?"

_That's right. Fang thought that all this misery could cause a miracle – could cause our 'salvation' to occur._

Snow gingerly placed Fang back on her feet while Lightning strode forward, grabbing Fang's abandoned lance along the way. Her gun was aimed at the left-most head of the fal'Cie because, truth be told, it's feminine voice and manly beard freaked the hell out of her. "Sure, we've all had better weeks."

"You're alive!" Vanille cried, barely refraining from leaping towards Hope and hugging him with all her might.

Fang's voice was still weak when she spoke. "But…but you can't be…"

"Could be more fal'Cie smoke and mirrors," Lightning said with a shrug. She glanced over her shoulder to where Fang stood, and she saw the confusion, joy, and semblances of guilt that clouded the wild woman's eyes. Lightning couldn't help but hang her head.

Upon seeing Lightning's reaction, Snow's head also drooped. "Fang, I'm sorry."

"We made you go it alone," Lightning said, advancing towards the woman who, not too long before, she had longed to kill due to an invasion of privacy. Now she wanted nothing more than to console Fang and ask for forgiveness for her stupidity. Holding up the lance for Fang to take, Lightning gave her friend and ally a small smile.

"Second time now, isn't it," Fang mumbled, shaking her head. She looked away to collect herself, then her eyes met Lightning's again. When their gazes met, Lightning saw the newfound determination and was glad to see it. With one hand on her lance and a quick nod, Fang let Lightning know she was ready for whatever was coming next.

They turned to their enemy, ready for the fight to come, but Vanille's curiosity forced them to pause. "But where were you?" She twisted her hands in anticipation, wanting so badly to know where her friends had gone without her and what it was that they had to endure.

Hope bit his lip in thought, trying to recall. Even Lightning was having a hard time remembering now: it was fading so fast, it seemed. "Somewhere cold and dark," Hope answered, "Just thinking about everything that had happened up until now. And then…and then it was like -"

"It was like I had a glimpse of the future," Snow interjected, causing Lightning to stir.

_He saw the future? But…how? All I saw was the past…_

"Everyone was smiling and laughing." Snow chuckled softly. "Even Light." Light glanced over to where he was, surprised by his statement. He pulled out Serah's crystal and barely nodded in Lightning's direction. "Even Serah."

_What does he mean by that? That Serah will be happy with him, and I'll be okay with that, too? Or that…she's okay with us…?_

"I don't know," Sazh said with a shrug, giving his guns a once-over. "It was like a new focus, or, you know, I'm thinking, it didn't really make sense of course. I mean, knowing we were worm bait an' all, but…as luck would have it, next thing I know I feel somebody pushing me right along."

"You were with us, too, Fang. Same side. All of us," Snow said.

_Did we all see separate things?_

"Together to the end," Lightning said quietly with a shrug, figuring she'd ask later what it was each person had seen. Her words earned approving nods from the others gathered while Fang considered what had been said. Finally she gave an appreciative smile and bowed her head, but their bonding moment was ruined by the pained cry of the fal'Cie that was sinking into the pool before them.

Everyone's brand glimmered. Lightning put a fist over her heart.

"The Heroes never die." Snow's voice was gravelly and full of emotion. "Come on. We've got a world to save."

Hope drew up to Lightning's side, his boomerang clenched tightly within his fist. "If we've got the power to destroy Cocoon, then we have the power to save it. You say you want your day of wrath, do ya?" His voice rose to a shout, taunting their foe. "Well, it's coming right up!"

Sazh took several paces forward, wincing a few times, but he showed no other sign of his disadvantage. "Time we gave the people what they really want."

"We can do it. I know we can," Vanille said after a moment's pause, where they all waited for the fal'Cie to resurface. "We made it this far. Let's make a real miracle happen!"

Fang snorted in approval and strut to the forefront of the group, flourishing her lance. "Lady Luck sure ain't on his side!" she cried, her voice raising over the cackling, maniacal laughter of Orphan, who was rising from the depths of the water.

"You overreach yourselves," Orphan stated matter-of-factly, its yellow eyes gleaming like headlights.

Lightning rolled her eyes, tracing a path through the air with her blade. "No, we overreach you."

"Is that so?" the fal'Cie queried, almost seeming bored. Its infantile face and mature voice put Lightning on edge.

"You don't believe in anything," she continued, steeling herself against the piercing, pupil-less eyes of the beast before her. After recalling the story that Barthandelus had told her before she had been placed into that Cie'th coma, she went on to say, "You gave up on life before you were even born. Sat poisoning Cocoon from the inside, waiting for someone to come and destroy you. Sure, you think the end of the world is salvation. All you care about is death's release…so take it and leave the rest of us alone." Her eyes raised and met Orphan's once more in challenge. "We don't think like that." She watched as Sazh and Hope tossed their weapons in the air, charging themselves up for the inevitable. "When we think there's no hope left, we keep looking until we find some. Maybe Cocoon is past saving, but it's our home. We'll protect it or die trying! We live to make the impossible possible! That is our focus!"

And, with a bone-shaking cry from Orphan, the battle for their lives and home was about to begin. Though she wasn't certain what would become of Cocoon if they slew the fal'Cie that was responsible for the planet, she lulled herself into believing that perhaps this fal'Cie wouldn't be so special. Perhaps his downfall would still allow Cocoon to continue as before.

Even if it didn't, though, it would still be worth it to be rid of something as powerful and as crazy as Orphan. And, in all reality, they had little choice: it was either they kill him here and now, or die and have another group selected by Orphan to travel the same journey as they had.

Their choice was really already made for them.

Lightning drew her blade over her shoulder as the others fell into the formation that they had discussed at their final rest, even though she wasn't sure how suitable it would be given this new situation. Seeing that all weapons were drawn and that a fierce glow erupted in everyone's eyes, she knew the fight needed to begin. "Find your own road to hell!" She cried, mustering her bravery for the events to come.

Almost immediately she felt the rushed sense of doom befall her, and she recalled this feeling from their fight with Barthandelus in Oerba, and also when she had been discovered by Odin. The feeling had only become worse as time wore on, and she knew – _knew – _that if she took too long, she would be done for, even if she had never fallen to doom's call previously.

The tables had been turned now. There was no time for careful planning and slow, deliberate offensives – they had to act, fast.

Snow immediately set out to challenge Orphan, hoping to draw the attacks to the far side where he and Fang resided. Hope, perhaps feeling the same sense of doom as Lightning, set about casting a spell he had rarely used that helped boost everyone's reflexes, thus making them faster in a fight. Vanille, knowing that, for now, the party was safe, began throwing every elemental spell she possessed at Orphan. Pausing ever-so-briefly in his work to admire Vanille, Hope soon shook his head and finished off the supportive spells he had been preparing, then joined Vanille in her work.

Lightning backed up to where Sazh was, both watching the quick proceedings with experienced eyes. Sazh's eyes grew dark before he called out that none of the attacks were working.

"Switch to physical attacks, then!" Hope cried out, his boomerang already flying through the air. Snow and Fang glanced at each other before Snow grabbed Fang and tossed her towards Orphan. Her lance caught on the fal'Cie's armor and the tip of the weapon bent easily.

"What the hell?" Fang cried, landing on Orphan's shoulder and tossing a punch at its face. All that resulted was a lot more cursing from the tribeswoman before she jumped away, trying to dodge a purple ball of energy that seemed to follow her around.

"Bullocks," Fang shouted, nursing her knuckle by sucking on the little specks of blood that appeared. "That hurt, and it didn't even cause a dent!"

Everyone began to grow uneasy, pausing momentarily to look to Lightning.

"Why are you stopping? Keep going! We have to dent his armor somehow!" she commanded, charging forward with the tip of her sword dragging against the ground. Sparks erupted along the path, and only ceased when she drew the blade up, smashing the flat of the blade against the armor out of frustration before she began stabbing sections with the weapon, searching for a weak point.

Sazh, backed against a wall for support, was firing off clip after clip, aiming it directly at the fal'Cie's face. Excessively colorful words were spewing forth from his mouth, which was screwed into the most frightening scowl Lightning had ever seen. Not wanting to waste any more precious bullets, Sazh tucked his guns into his belt, rolled up his sleeves, and began to alternate between synergy and air-based spells.

Fang and Snow did what they could to distract Orphan so the others could perform more efficiently but Orphan seemed to be losing interest in the two sentinels and their well-practiced insults. Several times one of the two would have to dart from their position and take a damaging blow for the sake of the others, walking away with bruises or scorch marks that were left to stay, since the healers were too distracted to do much about it.

A few minutes later, Snow's and Fang's condition had worsened far faster than Lightning would have liked, but she was almost too frightened to ask Hope or Vanille to try fixing the inuries– their explosive fire spells were the only thing that appeared to put a dent in Orphan's armor, and the ominous feeling in Lightning's gut was only worsening. Instead of getting a proper healer to do the job, Lightning abandoned the post she had taken with the two younger members of the group and sprinted to where the sentinels were. Fang gave a haggard smile and Snow merely tried to catch his breath.

"Damn, I'm feeling all five-hundred years of my stasis right now," Fang coughed, holding herself up on her lance while Lightning quickly gauged the severity of Snow's wounds. It wasn't anything major; just small burns and lacerations. His condition probably had more to do with exhaustion than anything. Lightning gave him a small potion and provided what little healing she could before sending him on his way. He gave her a quick thanks before jumping forward again, taking a blow that would have otherwise knocked Vanille onto her back.

Fang gripped a laceration across her shoulders with the hand that was nearly black from the bruises caused by striking Orphan. Lightning shook her head and applied her magic where she could. "Show-off," she muttered, nodding towards the purpling fist.

"Hater," Fang shot back. "You're just jealous 'cause I'm pretty and kick ass."

Lightning tried her best to give a smile before grabbing for another potion within her sack. Her pool of energy seemed to be running a little low at the moment to be casting spells, and, since she wanted Fang back on her feet as quickly as possible, she opted to pour the healing poultice over the woman's wounds instead of waiting to reenergize. "Be more careful next time. When you see that your _lance _doesn't work against Orphan, don't try your fist instead."

"I told you I had a few screws loose," Fang said, feigning offense to hide the wincing from the sting of the potion. "I can't believe you forgot."

"I didn't forget. I just choose not to listen when you talk."

"Bitch."

"Harpy."

Fang gave a grin before standing, flexing her knuckles. "Thanks for the healing, friend," she said, quickly mocking a salute before jogging back off to Snow's side.

After that, things began to pick up the pace.

All six of them donned a thin line in lieu of their lips, determination highlighting their countenances as they all gave the battle their best. Lightning was beginning to feel like the timer was nearing its end, and still little Orphan showed no signs of weakening. To say that they weren't frustrated would be the understatement of the year. They wanted to win, they _knew _they could win, but they weren't entirely sure _how _to go about doing it.

When Sazh opted for his guns yet again, and after he released a total of thirteen bullets, he released a cry of rage and proceeded to toss everything he had at Orphan, including vulgarities. Bullets, spells, and a few empty cans of **Shroud **were thrown Orphan's way until the old man lost the rest of his cool.

"Damn you, you son-of-a-bitch! Why won't you die? Fang, you're the damn Ragnarok thing! Kill him! That's your job!"

"Uh, I failed at that job. Twice. Remember?" Fang shot back, offering a solitary fireball for support.

"Well, stop failing and kill the bastard!"

"I think she'll pass on that!" Vanille said, dodging another purple ball of energy that was prone to scorching the skin it landed on. She danced around on her tiptoes as it followed her before it finally evaporated.

"We're not making a dent," Hope said. "Light…do you have any plans?"

Lightning grunted in irritation, totally unsure of what they were supposed to do.

"We've hit every piece of this thing," Hope continued. "So there's gotta be something we're missing!"

Whatever timer was ticking within her was beginning to wind down. Lightning started to feel drained.

"Are you okay, Light?" Snow called over his shoulder, seeing the slowly slumping shoulders of the ex-soldier.

"I'm fine," she assured, straightening her posture quickly. She lowered her head in thought, knowing that this was it: if she didn't think of something to do, it was all going to end here and now. They would have defied fate for their entire journey, up until this point, and then they'd…fail.

She couldn't fail. She couldn't let everyone down. She couldn't send these people that she had grown so close to…she couldn't let them die. She wouldn't allow it. Claire allowed people to die: not Lightning.

Picking her chin up suddenly, Lightning's eyes narrowed and examined Orphan. "We haven't hit him everywhere yet. Fang, launch this thing in the air!"

Fang released a cackling laugh as she darted forward, Snow fast on her heels. They both pried the bottom of Orphan off the ground and, once signaling Hope and Vanille to send a blast beneath the fal'Cie, they prepared to make their timely escape. The joint fireball hurtled towards them and, at the very last moment, both rolled to the side to avoid the flesh-searing heat that followed its eruption.

Lightning didn't stop to admire the scene of the almighty fal'Cie tumbling in the air. Instead she ordered everyone to charge forward; to release everything they had on this beast that had caused so much strife in their lives. No one debated her orders.

Filled with fresh enthusiasm and vigor, everyone managed to find the strength to continue. Fang began prying the shell off of Orphan with her lance, doing her best to expose the fleshy skin beneath. Vanille used her binding rods to grasp the shell from the outside and aid in Fang's endeavors. In charge of ensuring that Orphan remained off the ground was Hope, who placed a well-aimed air spell at the base of the fal'Cie every now and again. Sazh and Lightning would release a few rounds of bullets into any exposed piece that they saw, and Snow, who had evaded Lightning's notice was, as she now saw, at the back of the fal'Cie, following Fang's example.

Together they loosened the invincible armor of the fal'Cie and carved a way to dealing major damage. They couldn't remove the entire hull, but the bottom portion was exposed, and that was all they needed. Hope, Vanille, and Sazh cast mostly air-based spells on Orphan to avoid blowing up one of the team members while the other three gathered together and made their final charge against the true heart of all the wrongdoings of the Sanctum.

Even as she ran, Lightning felt doom reigning her in. Her shoulders slumped further and her legs felt heavy. Heart palpitations followed, and she broke into a cold sweat. Breathing became difficult.

Her time must have gone and passed.

She reached Orphan first and, with the little strength that remained, she thrust her blade as deeply into the fal'Cie as she could. She stumbled over her own feet, but the momentum only aided her efforts to shove the sword further into the fal'Cie. Fang and Snow delivered their final blows soon after her, but they both backed away quickly so that they could repeat the process, if necessary.

Lightning, however, was done. Her vision was going black, swirling around her, as her breath caught in her throat and failed to travel any further. Snow, sensing something was wrong, ran back to her side and dragged her away from Orphan who, by the sounds of it, was in his death throes.

Snow carried her to where the others stood, all worrying over Lightning's condition. She felt some strength return to her, but not enough to stand on her own. Her five friends stood around her, their eyes filled with concern, even while Orphan's cries continued. "We're here to stop him. We've come to save Cocoon, right?"

Everyone nodded uncertainly in affirmation, not exactly understanding what was going on. Lightning glanced dizzily to Orphan, watching as he slowly met his destruction, and she wondered if she would follow soon after.

No matter what happened to her, though, they had done it: they had stopped Orphan. They saved Cocoon from his idea of salvation. What happened to her now didn't matter: they had defied their own fate, and they all should be proud of what they'd done.

The earth shook beneath them and sent Lightning's stomach aquiver, forcing her down onto her hands and knees to keep balance. Snow, too, was unstable, but he helped Lightning back up to her feet, holding her close as the structure seemed to shudder around them.

Lights began flickering on and off, and the rumble became deafening. Eyelids fluttered shut once Lightning realized what was happening around her, and the understanding made her heart sink. Her initial thoughts on the matter had been correct: Cocoon couldn't stand without Orphan. They had unwittingly caused the destruction of their home.

She didn't want to die like this. She could not die, not when so many would be harmed because of their actions. She had defied her fate, sure, but in so doing she had condemned so many to their deaths - hundreds of thousands of people, probably millions, gone. Dead, because of her.

Teeth clenched, Lightning shook her arms out of Snow's firm hands and used them to brace herself on her knees. Focusing only on her breathing and not the chaos around her, she was soon able to recollect her breath, and her vision soon returned. Though her heart still fluttered uneasily, she would not succumb to its warnings. There was more work to be done, and it would be finished by her hands. Death would have to wait until her job was done.

Glass shards flew everywhere once the floor began to shatter around them. Vanille and Hope both raised their arms to defend themselves, but the adults just let the shards fly past. Lightning, at least, figured she deserved worse than a few scrapes and cuts for what she had done.

Something tugged on her insides, and when Lightning's attention snapped downwards she saw that she was afloat with the glass suspended in the air around her. She saw Orphan's Cradle crumbling beneath her, and at that point she knew that the only way to rebuild the world was with the aid of those who had travelled with her on this journey.

"Stay together!" She shouted, watching as everyone quickly scanned around them to find her voice; the only thing that could keep their heads cool at a time like this. She was a voice of reason, and she'd use that to her advantage.

Sazh looked about him, spotting Hope a few feet below. He reached out and told the young boy to take his hand, which Hope swiftly did. Hope and Snow immediately reached for Lightning's hand, and once they formed a circle they soon knew something was amiss.

Snow released Sazh's hand and spied the two Pulsians far below them. "Fang! Vanille!" His voice was on the verge of panic as he watched the two of them reach – not for the four above them, but for each other. The two women gazed up, their faces sad and somber as they watched the other four slowly float out of reach.

Lightning watched the two Pulse women form their own circle, nod, and bow their heads. Those from Cocoon, the four l'Cie who still held hands, gasped in surprise as the form of the two individuals Lightning never truly got to know burst into a brilliant white light. It was too powerful to look upon and so she turned her head to avoid the blinding white, only to see the beasts from the Ark disintegrate before Lightning's very eyes.

"Shit..shit…no…"

Sazh's voice sent Lightning's concentration reeling back to Fang and Vanille, but they were no longer there. Instead, Ragnarok – now complete – stood on the remains of one of the buildings, all of its arms outstretched as it cried into the night sky.

"Fang…" Sazh murmured, his eyes glued on the sight beneath them. "What are you doing?"

Their eyes all followed Ragnarok as it leaped down the building, off the edges of Cocoon, and down towards the boiling ground below. Gran Pulse seemed to be reacting to the sudden change of gravity, as its insides were boiling out flooding over the craggy landscape, scorching the grasses that hung on the outlying plains. Hope cried out in despair when the changed form of Fang and Vanille disappeared beneath the clouds, hurtling towards the lava beneath them.

It seemed as if ages had passed before they received a sign of what would befall them, their home planet, or even their eccentric friends. While they fell, so slowly, towards Pulse's surface, they saw the fires of the lava beneath them begin to rise, even as the waters of Cocoon began to gather on the bottom of the planet. Gravity once more acted and forced the water downwards, while the lava burst into the sky, undoubtedly guided by the mystical powers of the joined beast that had fallen into the flames. Water and fire met, intermingling with each other, and slowed down the path of the falling planet that was connected to the water. Another mighty roar was released by Ragnarok, summoning a cool wind that chilled both Lightning's bones and the waters that fell towards Pulse. The lava, too, was cooled so quickly that it became immovable. The waters cascaded down the lava-pillar, freezing as it went to create a vertical line of ice.

Then…

Silence. Stillness.

There was nothing. Just quiet tranquility. All the chaos and the threat of impending death and doom disappeared, leaving behind no trace of its existence. There was only peace.

But peace was something that was foreign to Lightning, and it was something that her life would not allow. Not in her past, and certainly not now.

"_Wake up."_

Vanille's voice rang quietly in her head and Lightning was all too willing to answer her call.

In a flicker of time her body was restored from the crystallized form it had taken, and with a sharp intake of air, Lightning breathed in the fresh air of Gran Pulse that she had learned to love. In disbelief, as if she couldn't comprehend what had just happened, she looked down at her hands, trying to understand just _how _they were no longer crystals…how they even existed still. She should be dead. Cocoon should be destroyed.

Yet, Cocoon was not destroyed. It stood atop the pillar of fire and ice that Ragnarok had crafted, its crystalline edges gleaming in the sunlight. In the quiet stillness Lightning was given a chance to try and make sense of everything that had happened. She thought, and slowly it began to dawn on her.

Cocoon's downfall should have been the catalyst of destruction for both it and Gran Pulse and yet both had been spared.

Five hundred years before, Fang had been charged with destroying Cocoon, but she had failed. This time she had become Ragnarok and failed again. When Vanille became Ragnarok _with_ Fang, and both their guardians joined forces, they were able to form a complete whole that was able to save Cocoon.

That much was easy enough to understand. But there were still questions that remained to be answered, and one was how she and the others had turned to crystal if her focus had been to destroy Cocoon. She could see that Cocoon sat before her, still mostly preserved, and certainly not obliterated. It didn't make sense, but if she really considered it, she could see what must have been the proper response: by destroying Orphan, the four Cocoon l'Cie had fulfilled their focus by initiating the destruction of Cocoon.

By becoming Ragnarok, Fang and Vanille both completed their focus. Their focus was never for one of them to simply become Ragnarok: they both had to.

Once they did, they brought about a miracle: they saved Cocoon.

"They did it. They saved the world."

"No…they gave us a new one."

Lightning turned and saw Hope, Sazh, and Snow slowly approaching her, all staring in wonder at the planet sitting on a pedestal above them.

"That's one gift I'll forgive them for not wrapping," Sazh said sadly, forcing a smile on his face in lieu of Lightning's calculating eyes.

"Does this mean we've completed our focus?" Hope asked, shielding his eyes against the sun as he watched the line of people and soldiers slowly make their way off the planet.

Snow laughed and joined Lightning's side. "Cocoon's seen better days, that's for sure."

"Yeah, and I'd say that qualifies as a demolition," Sazh continued, searching his afro for the chocobo chick. "Focus complete."

"It really is a miracle," Lightning said slowly.

Fang and Vanille never had believed in miracles: they always strove to make them happen themselves instead of waiting around for one to occur. Together, they became Ragnarok and saved a world doomed to die. Like Dysley had said: Only destruction can bring forth salvation. Only despair can bring forth miracles.

Maybe the old man was right.

...and maybe the old man was simply trying to save Cocoon from Orphan's wrath.

Either way, there was a new crystal legend in town, new saviors. Maybe Fang and Vanille could even be considered the new Maker? Maybe it didn't matter.

"My brand!" Hope cried suddenly. Lightning, thinking that not all was as well as she hoped, spun sharply around to face Hope, her eyes immediately darting to his wrist. "It's gone!"

Lightning clutched at her heart as she watched the men examine the now-bare skin where their brands used to be. She couldn't help but grin at the thought that she would no longer have to worry about those she cared for becoming Cie'th. Now they could just live life normally. Hope could be reunited with his father, Dajh and Sazh could be together with their pet chocobo, Serah and Snow—

Lightning's heart skipped another beat when she felt the back of her neck tingle and she turned to face the opposite direction again, spying two lone figures in the distance slowly walking towards them.

Sazh didn't wait to see what would happen with the love triangle. He ran past Lightning, Snow, and Hope as fast as he could, ignoring his injuries, and scooped up Dajh as quickly as he was physically able, plastering kisses all over the little boy's face. Dajh giggled in delight and threw his arms around his father, kicking his feet gently in glee. The chocobo chick, too, joined in the festivities: he shot out from within Sazh's hair and whirred around Dajh's head, chirping happily. By their side, Serah smiled and laughed, then looked up expectantly towards Lightning and Snow.

Lightning took a deep breath, trying to find the happiness she knew she should be present given the situation. After all, her sister was alive! Her only remaining family! She wouldn't remain a crystal for all eternity…she'd be able to live out the rest of her years, like a normal human!

And yet…

She sighed, her hand becoming a fist over her breast as Snow took careful steps forward, his eyes flickering between Serah and Lightning.

"Light…? I can't – "

"You promised, Snow," she said quietly, raising her eyes up to the feminine figure of her sister. "Don't disappoint me."

"But – "

"She's waiting for her hero. Go on."

Snow hesitated, his attention wholly on Lightning now.

"Go, Snow," Lightning urged gently.

Snow began to say something, stopped, and hung his head. He sighed, then his body seemed to undergo a metamorphosis to become the man that Serah expected: he looked up and forced a smile on his face, his eyes trying hard to ignite the same spark of joy that could be seen within Sazh's. His hand quickly touched Lightning's shoulder as he jogged past her in order to greet his fiancée, leaving Lightning and Hope behind to watch the reuniting of the two lovers and the father and son.

Hope took several quick steps towards those now together, searching for someone coming to claim him. His head scanned in both directions several times, but no other soul was in sight. "They're gone…aren't they?" He lifted his eyes to Lightning, and she saw the sadness in the young boy's heart. He had lost so much, witnessed more than he should have, and now, at the end of it all, he had nothing waiting for him. Not knowing what else to do, Lightning laid a hand on his shoulder – partly to comfort him, and partly to distract her from the now-embracing forms of Snow and Serah. "I guess they meant for this to be good-bye. Then again, we've changed our fates before…" Hope shook his head, then eyed the happy Serah and stiff Snow. "Light…what's going on?"

Lightning sighed before forcing a cheerful smile on her face. "Everybody deserves a happy ending, Hope."

He looked at her questioningly and with some alarm, but Lightning had no time to explain: soon Serah's thin arms were wrapped around Lightning's neck, hugging her tightly, whispering that she had missed Lightning.

Lightning greatly wished that she could have said how much she had missed her sister, but in all reality there had been times where she had shamelessly hoped Serah wouldn't return so that she could claim the man who held Serah's heart.

Instead, all Lightning could do was apologize for everything. _I was a horrible sister. I have done things that cannot be forgiven. All I can ask is that you live the life you were meant to._


	27. Settling In

Though the shell of the planet still remained, Cocoon had essentially been destroyed. The fal'Cie could not operate without Orphan to lead them, and so the infrastructure of Cocoon was, for the most part, demolished. Although it was clear that, due to the invasion of the monsters from the Ark, the death toll would reach an unimaginable magnitude, there were still more alive than dead. They owed their lives to the two women who had become the new crystal legend, the new Maker-figure of the people. Their sacrifice allowed a doomed people to continue existing, and Snow wished he could have informed everyone of the sacrifice of Fang and Vanille, what they had done for everyone. Instead he was to remain quiet and inconspicuous, per Lightning's orders, to avoid detection and go on living life without being harassed for their part in the planet's downfall.

It was so frustrating for him, knowing that he helped rid the world of the fal'Cie's rule and prevented a near-catastrophe from happening, but yet he was entirely unable to boast about his or his friends' accomplishments. He knew the answers to the questions that the people were asking – all the how's and why's, but everyone had to remain in the dark and oblivious to the form of their salvation. All they knew was that, somehow, fire and ice melded together to create a support pillar for Cocoon, allowing them to live. Snow could add no further knowledge to that for fear of exposing the other l'Cie.

_Well, we're not l'Cie anymore, _he amended, his eyes raking over his bare wrist. The others were without their brands as well, which was good in the fact that they no longer had to fret about the time bomb they all wore, but it also meant the definitive end of their adventures. Without their abilities, they were relatively useless against some of the stronger beasts out there. Sure, Lightning could always stab something to death, but some of the bad guys were too thick-boned to even be affected by a metallic sword. Now that Cocoon was safe, they had to revert back to a quiet, normal life where their mortality was no longer at the forefront of their minds.

_Easier said than done. _Going back to normal may have been easier, were it not for the nightmares that plagued him when he laid his head down to rest. Dreams of their time expiring, of the faces of the soldiers he had a part in killing, of Sazh falling to the behemoth, the bodies that littered the streets with their innards spilling out, or of Lightning succumbing to death's sweet release from her troubled life…all these things bothered him; all these things woke him up in the dead of night with cold sweat covering his body, and the images were burned into the forefront of his mind. He had seen so much death and destruction, had caused so much of it himself, that he doubted he'd ever get a full night's rest again.

No matter how much he tried to convince himself otherwise, he knew, _knew, _that things could never go back to how they used to be. He'd witnessed too much, been party to too many things, and grown as a man since _then. _He wasn't the same man Serah remembered, and he didn't care to become that same Snow again.

That, in and of itself, was a problem. Serah had no knowledge or memory of what had occurred between her crystallization and her release, just like how Fang and Vanille didn't know much about what had taken place when they woke, either. Her mindset had not changed, unlike Snow's, because it had no reason to. She was gone for months, sleeping in a peaceful slumber, while the world around her went to hell. He had tried to explain to her in their idle time all the things he had witnessed and been part of, tried to show her the horrors that lurked in his mind, mingling with the guilt, but Serah was not able to understand the gravity of it. She was too pure, too naïve, to grasp the core meaning behind Snow's imparted words. At most she offered a consoling embrace with comforting words, maybe a tear or two, but that was about it. While he didn't rightly know what it was he expected or desired as a response, he knew he needed more than that.

To make matters worse, she was now asking questions relating to their marriage – the types of things he'd like in it, who he'd want involved, when and where it should be, and other questions that were equally annoying. He rarely responded to these with more than a shrug, and after he'd find any excuse possible to avoid further questioning, even if it meant finding a sudden reason to excuse himself from wherever Serah was to go somewhere else. Sazh and Dajh had proven to be an excellent justification for his sudden departures, as Sazh would, of course, need help with the well-behaved lad who did little more than play with his chocobo or help his father out. However, after about two days of that, Serah quickly picked up on Sazh's schedule and would often remind Snow that Sazh wouldn't be in his lean-to at that particular moment in time. When Snow realized he had been outwitted, his games, for the most part, came to an end.

Instead of being absent, then, he was now confined to the small, leaky lean-to that he and Sazh had crafted together before their first night on Pulse. Its thatched roof had a few holes in it, thanks to Dajh marching inside with a stick, pretending to be leading a parade. He had bellowed orders to the imagined trombones behind him, jabbing his stick in the air, through the ceiling, shouting about them being all wrong...

Snow hadn't thought much of it then, but now that he could see the gray clouds billowing towards them, he could only cringe: it was going to be a wet night.

He rapped his hands against the wooden walls of the shelter, his legs stretched out on the leafy floor and his back rested against the same wall he was using as a percussion instrument. He bobbed his head to no particular rhythm while Serah chattered away, sitting at a slight angle to his knee. One of her fingers toyed with the cloth on Snow's pants as her words registered distantly somewhere in the back of his mind.

"…I overheard some soldiers saying that there are plans to start building things like this shelter, or maybe even small huts and houses, so that people have somewhere to stay," Serah said with a smile. "But some people are against that idea, because they don't want to settle down permanently quite yet. They're afraid this isn't the best area to stay." Her smile dropped as she thought and tugged the ends of her hair. Her eyes flickered towards Snow expectantly, waiting for his input.

A chuckle had to be stifled when he thought about Lightning looking to him for such an answer. She'd probably already have the layout of the town in her head, along with plans for building an armory by this point in time. The idea made his heart suddenly ache for her companionship, but he knew he could not do anything about that. Not right now. There was a promise in the way of that dream. So, instead, he checked outside to make sure nobody was near enough to eavesdrop, and then he spoke in a low voice. "This place is close to where we arrived on Pulse for the first time," he began, folding his hands together behind his head. "The further out into the plains you go, the more dangerous it gets. Here you've got water and a lot of woods and rocks and stuff, but on the plains all you have is grass. I'm pretty sure they'd be better off making this permanent."

Serah nodded, her eyes roaming around the darkening wilds around them with a dreamy expression on her face. "This place is so peaceful," she said quietly. "It wouldn't be so bad for us to live here, huh?"

Snow was thankful she was looking away so she couldn't see the momentary panic that passed through him. He calmed quickly enough, having had so much practice with stressful situations lately, and was able to don the most neutral expression he was capable of. "I think it's only peaceful here because the sudden appearance of people and a planet scared the shit out of the wildlife," he said lightly. Serah admonished his language with a light slap against his knee, but Snow wholly ignored it. "This place will be crawling with fiends again, soon enough. Just wait."

"But it gets more dangerous as you go out, right?" Serah asked, a brow raising high. When Snow nodded, her eyebrows dipped in thought. "Then it makes no sense to go further out. We'd be putting our family in danger."

_Lightning laughs in the face of danger._

A shrug rolled off Snow's shoulders. "Maybe."

She frowned at him and pursed her lips in thought. Eyes raised suspiciously, she asked him if he had seen other possible places to stay in his journeys; places that he wouldn't mind journeying to once more to settle in. Oerba was the first idea that came to him, but that was a place he didn't want Serah knowing about. Oerba had somehow become a sacred memory to Snow, and so the place was also afforded that title of being almost holy. Everything that had taken place there seemed monumental to him, in some way. He didn't want to bring a stranger somewhere like that – it was a place for the six l'Cie to remember and hold dear to their hearts; not a place for outsiders to rape.

He didn't dwell on the strangeness of calling Serah an outsider, considering it was she who brought the six l'Cie together. Instead, he opted to appease Serah with stores of places other than Oerba – places like Taejin's Tower or Mah'habara, resting his head back against the wall as he did so. He recounted to her the story of how furious Lightning had been when Fang stole her towel, of their trek through the Tower and Sazh's unexplainable fear of heights, how Lightning had eventually taken revenge on Fang after setting Sazh's pants on fire, and other stories that seemed to revolve more and more around the sister of the girl that wore his engagement necklace. She was a good sport, though, and laughed at all the right spots or clapped her hand over her mouth in surprise at other parts, but her animation throughout did nothing to push away the fog of memories that was slowly choking him.

The fronds above his head quivered from the chill wind that blew through the large clearing that they, and hundreds of others, took shelter in, making Snow pull his coat more tightly around him. He felt the lump in his pocket and remembered the stuffed animal that resided there, and he wished he could find Lightning to give it to her. It'd only be an excuse to see her face wrinkle in fury as she tried with every morsel of her being to get her hands around the fluffy yellow thing and rip it to shreds.

A bolt of regret raced through him when he realized how few mementos he carried from their journey. He had endured extreme hardships and physical pain, been pushed to his mental limits, questioned everything he believed in, developed friendships that meant the world to him, and ultimately had the adventure of his lifetime and he had little, if anything, to show for it. Just this chocobo.

As he spun another tale about how they boarded the _Palamecia, _he recalled that, during that period, he had been able to feel the tingle of Lightning's magic within him, weaving the sinews of his body together while mending bones. It had a warm, electric feel about it, one that was distinctly hers, and he wondered if he would still be able to feel it. He paused in his story for only a few moments, closed his eyes, and searched, but he could find nothing. The hum of magic within him, and any traces that Lightning may have left, were gone.

He sighed and subconsciously buried his hand in his pocket to feel the plush exterior of the chocobo for comfort. After getting a funny look from Serah, Snow continued speaking. "…Mah'habara is hot as hell. Like, seriously, I think Sazh lost thirty pounds from sweat alone by the time we were done with that place. So, 'course, since it's so hot that, by the time we rest for the night, we wanna cool down. So, Sazh and me take off a couples layers, figuring we'd be the only ones smart enough to, but, turns out, Light was thinking along the same lines—"

"No!" Serah gasped.

"Yeah! So, she's got her vest and stuff all in a pile, and Hope's eyes are practically popping out of his head…"

He went over the highlights of their months-long journey in a span of maybe thirty minutes. He never once touched on any subject that centered only on he and Lightning – no, he avoided that bomb altogether. Instead he ran over things that stuck out most about the adventure, like battles or bonding moments with the group or pranks that he, Fang, and Sazh would invent for poor, helpless Hope and Vanille.

At the end of it all, Snow sat quietly, his finger rubbing his chin of its own accord while he reminisced on all the untold memories. He was shaken from this when Serah started giggling, quietly at first, and then it expanded into a fit of laughter. Snow didn't ask what she found so funny: he knew she'd tell soon enough. His eyes passed over the ceiling while he waited, frowning when he saw droplets of water falling through, hitting the ground near the opposing wall. It was beginning to rain.

"I can't even imagine Light walking around in her skirt and her belly top. I think I've only ever seen her wear _just _that, like…once, when she was getting ready for something. So really, it doesn't even count."

Snow didn't want to tell her just how _little _he had seen Lightning in.

Silence stretched between them as Serah considered the memories passed on to her and Snow thought about what would eventually come. He doubted he'd be able to stay here forever: eventually the people were bound to figure out that the Pulse l'Cie were in their midst, and he was sure the people wouldn't be too happy about all the trouble the six of them had caused. If that happened, they'd almost certainly head for Oerba, but…would they be able to make the journey without their powers? If they discovered they couldn't, what then?

He didn't know the answers. He could think of questions, most of the time, but usually the only response he ever had was to charge in, guns blazing. With this scenario, though, that option wouldn't work.

No, he didn't have the answers. But he was sure Lightning would know.

The rain began falling harder, making the leafy roof above shudder. Small puddles began to collect on the ground, both inside and out, and Snow longed for the rocky caverns Fang and Lightning were so apt to spot.

Serah hugged her arms tight to her chest, trying to protect herself from the cold that settled in around them. "I miss Lightning," she said quietly, dipping her head between her knees. "Have you seen her lately?"

"No," he said softly, his arm snaking out to pull Serah to his side. She inched close to him, her head buried in his shoulder.

He didn't know why he did it. He shouldn't have.

A slow stream of air forced itself out of his mouth. "I haven't seen her since Cocoon fell."

He really hadn't, either. For awhile, the group of them had stood in a circle, chatting and catching up while Lightning and Snow tried to keep their distance, and then, suddenly, Lightning was walking away, her arm around Hope's shoulder. He watched them disappear over the crest of a hill, and that had been the end of it.

"I've seen her once since then. The day after, I think," Serah said quietly.

_The day after would have been three days ago. She could have easily disappeared since._

"Do you think she left?"

Snow's eyes snapped to Serah, his gaze burning intently into hers. "No. She's still here, somewhere. The refugees are in a big area…we probably just keep missing each other."

Serah was taken aback by the firmness of his voice, and he immediately regretted it. She looked away, hugging her knees even more tightly than before. "I'm just worried about her, Snow. She's never disappeared on me before, but from what you told me , it's not unusual for her to do that. I don't know why she would leave, though—"

Her voice quivered and fresh tears lined her eyes, but Snow saw her swallow hard and shake her head; a very Farron-like thing to do.

But what she said was a terrifying reality: Lightning _was _prone to leaving abruptly, and without informing anyone. He didn't know where she would have gone, but he prayed that it wasn't anywhere far. He hoped that maybe she would just be on the opposite side of the camp or something. He couldn't take it if she were any further than that, on her own, fighting battles without Snow at her side.

The very thought turned the ache in his heart to a stabbing pain.

"I'll look for her tomorrow," he said quietly, gently massaging the back of her head.

She leaned into his hand, her watery eyes finding Snow's. "Thank you," she whispered, grabbing his free hand to press a kiss against his knuckles.

He didn't have the heart to tell Serah that he wasn't doing it for her, so he merely nodded in affirmation of her thanks, squeezing her hand for good measure.

* * *

Sazh's hovel wasn't too far from where Snow's was, and so he was able to arrive at his friend's place relatively early in the morning. He rapped the wooden frame with his knuckle, then peered inside, searching out the old man. Nobody was home.

Cursing, Snow's head popped back outside, scanning the area for any sign of Sazh. It seemed everybody was awake already: the whole camp was buzzing with activity. Many soldiers were helping average citizens collect materials that would be needed for shelter and, in some cases, there were already people working on the framework of a small home. Many women and children were walking near the outskirts of town where fresh fruit and berries were available, collecting as they went. Others still were standing near the river that ran along the edge of the eastern side of the campsite, talking amongst themselves and pointing into the waters of the river, probably trying to figure out how to catch the fish that swam inside. Everyone seemed to be working towards their survival.

Everyone, that is, except Snow. He searched everywhere for his friend, thinking that Sazh would be the best place to start the search for Lightning. It wasn't much of an idea, but it was, really, the only one he had.

The sun was barely casting any shadows by the time he finally saw the familiar afros of Dajh and Sazh, both bending over the river. Sazh told Dajh to get ready and the boy quickly stuffed his thumbs into his ears. Sazh grinned, pulled out a silencer and put it on one of his pistols, then leaned over the water, waved the gun over the surface, and shot at something.

Despite the silencer, the gunshot was still surprisingly loud.

Snow walked over just as Sazh used a make-shift net to grab at the fish, which had a large hole in its head.

"We got dinner, Mister Snow!" Dajh said excitedly, pointing at the fish with one hand while his other still protected his hearing. "My daddy says we're gonna eat like kings!"

"I didn't know kings ate fish that were shot with pistols," Snow mused, grinning towards Sazh.

The old technician threw his hands up in the air. "Gotta get a kid excited about eating fish somehow," he said. Dajh frowned towards him.

"Daddy, does that mean kings _don't _eat fish?"

"'course they do," Sazh said, bending down to put a hand on Dajh's shoulder. "They eat fish all the time. I should know. I always caught fish for the kings."

At this fact, Dajh's eyes grew round. "You caught fish…_for kings?_"

"Yup."

"What king?" Snow asked, arms folded.

Sazh told Dajh to cover his ears again, which the boy swiftly did. "King You-Better-Shut-the-Hell-Up-Before-I-Ram-This-Gun-Up-Your-Ass, that's who." He waved at Dajh that it was safe when Snow bit back a laugh.

"What're you doing out here, Trench? Usually you stick around-"

"Daddy, I want to shoot a fish," Dajh whined, pulling at Sazh's coat.

"You're too young."

"But—"

"You have to be eight to use these. You know the rules."

Dajh threw his head back in exasperation, his small hands hitting his thighs, a groan escaping from the bottom of his belly. He stomped off to a log about ten feet away and sat down, kicking at the grass and muttering darkly.

"He's got your attitude, I see," Snow commented.

"My mouth, too. You should hear him when he gets angry. Curses like a five-year-old sailor…or, at least, he thinks he does."

Snow's eyes narrowed in disbelief, but after Sazh nodded his head towards Dajh and told him to take a listen, he suddenly believed.

"I'll show daddy that I don't need to be eight. I'll get them. I'll get those hucking fish. Then he'll see…"

"'Hucking'?" Snow mouthed. Sazh nodded.

"As long as that's what he thinks the word is, I'll roll with it," he muttered. "Now I make him cover his ears when I got something to say, 'cause I don't want him to learn the real words. It's too late with 'shit', though…he's got that down pat."

Sure enough, Snow looked over to see Dajh with a small stick, poking at the fish. He missed, but the power of his strike nearly sent him into the cold river water and made him lose his weapon. "Shit," Dajh pouted, slumping down to sit on his knees. He plucked at the straps of his overalls with tears in his eyes.

"His mother would be mortified," Sazh added sadly before turning back to Snow. "So…uh, what'd you want?"

"To see if you've seen Lightning lately. I told Serah I'd look for her."

"Uh-huh," Sazh rolled his eyes. "I _bet _you're doing it for Serah…"

"Come on, Sazh, enough of that. It's stressful enough as it is, trying to go through with all this."

Sazh snorted at that. "'Stressful'? You seemed to be enjoying yourself the other night! I stopped by your tent to see how things were-"

"I'm supposed to act like everything's how it was…and she kind of just…threw herself at me. I didn't know what to do..." he added, wishing the defense wasn't so pathetic.

"You're playin' a dumb game with those women. It ain't right, what you're doing. I don't care if Lightning ordered you to do it. She's got it all figured out, always does, and so if she wants you to do something, you better bet your ass that she's three steps ahead of you in it all."

Snow's fists clenched at his side, but he refrained from speaking harshly. Sazh only ever tried to say what was on his mind, as honest and brutal as it could be. He could also be intelligent, when the time called for it, and Snow had to realize that maybe his consul was something to heed.

"Whatever, look, I'm just here trying to find Light. Do you, or do you not, know where she is?"

Sazh grunted, pulled a knife out of his boot, and started to clean the fish. "Nope."

"I know you well enough to know when you're lying, man," Snow said angrily.

"I don't know where the hell she is now, okay?" Sazh said, stabbing into the fish with more force than he needed. "Somehow, someway, that soldier and I became friends. She helped me through shit that I didn't think I could handle, and I respect the hell out of her. She told me her plans, and then she swore me to secrecy. I wouldn't betray your trust, and you damn well better believe that I'm not about to get _that _woman on my bad side, either." He realized he had forgotten to warn Dajh and looked over at him in a panic, but was relieved to see that the boy hadn't been listening. He breathed out, then gave Snow a sideways glance. "I was there when she nearly knocked you cold, remember."

Snow felt the anger coursing through him, but once he considered it he understood that he had no right to be mad at Sazh. He was keeping his promise to Lightning, just as Snow was trying to do. Getting angry would be hypocritical. Calm managed to prevail over the anger, and he was able to try and think of a second course of action.

But then Serah approached from behind, throwing his arms around Snow's middle. He felt her face press into his mid-back, remembered how Lightning's nose was able to nuzzle his neck, and he felt a little sickened inside.

Serah's head peeked beneath Snow's arm, and for that she got a large grin from Dajh, who immediately brightened from the presence of the young woman.

"Hey guys!" she said cheerfully. Sazh mumbled a hello as he threw the spine of the fish over his shoulder.

"Hey, Miss Serah!" Dajh said, throwing his arms up for a hug. She obliged, and, using most of her strength, lifted him up for a quick squeeze. "I got another story for you!"

She smiled and chuckled, but shook her head. "Sorry, Dajh: I've got work to do. I'm trying to find my big sister." At that she glanced up at Snow, who also shook his head, then her eyes fell to Sazh, who was taking painstaking efforts to avoid everyone's gazes.

"He doesn't know," Snow said, sparing his friend from having to go through that ordeal a second time.

Serah seemed crestfallen by this news. "Oh," she said simply, head dropping.

"Your sister was friends with the other boy, wasn't she?" Dajh said, leaning forward with wide eyes. "He said his name was Hope. He gave me a piggyback ride yesterday, and said that one day my chocobo will be able to carry me around like he did!"

"He did?" Serah said, feigning surprise. "Well, I think he's right! One day, your chocobo will be big enough for _three _people to ride on, I bet! And it'll be super strong and fast, like you!" She tapped his nose with her finger, and Dajh giggled bashfully.

Sazh watched the two interact for a moment. "Wanna babysit?" he asked. "You know, once everything back to normal? So I can go on hot dates?"

"Daddy, what's a 'hot dates'—"

"Hush, son. Hush."

"But, Daddy—"

"You can't go on dates. Fang will kill you," Snow said, a small, sad smile on his lips.

Sazh returned the same expression. "Yeah, she'd have my head twirling on her lance before I even walked out my doorframe."

"Oh, I didn't know you two were…" Serah gasped. "I'm so sorry, Sazh."

Sazh waved it off, turning to face away from them. "We weren't anything, and it's not like she's dead. Don't worry about it. It's fine."

Serah nodded in understanding.

Snow changed the subject because, no matter how much Sazh said it was fine, he could see the hurt in his eyes and had witnessed Sazh's pain himself.

Whenever Sazh glanced towards Cocoon, he had to swallow hard and turn away, fast, before his emotions overcame him. Fang may not be dead, but she had been crystallized for five hundred years before.

_Dead or crystallized…there's no difference. She still can't be here for Sazh._

Snow felt horribly selfish by his unrelenting search for Lightning while his friend was here, before him, hurting more than Snow could know. He wanted to do something for him, but feared that, if he waited too long, Lightning would be out of his grasp.

Perhaps Sazh understood Snow more than he thought, because the pilot turned to Snow, nodded, and said, "You should go find Hope. I'm sure that, if anyone knows the specifics about Lightning, it's gonna be him."

"You think so?" Serah said hopefully.

"Yeah," Sazh mumbled. "Probably."

Serah bubbled over with happiness that they were a step closer to finding where her sister was, while Snow kept feeling more and more guilty about everything.

"Sazh, if you ever need—"

"All I need is some time and my son's company. You come back when all this is settled, and then we can have us a man-to-man talk." Chocolate eyes burned into azure ones, leaving a very distinct message that, for now, Sazh didn't want to talk about losing Fang, about losing the second woman he truly cared for. Now, he just wanted to be left alone, enjoying the time he had with Dajh. "You can find Hope by the section where all the newcomers come in, more than likely."

"Thanks, Sazh," Snow said.

"Don't mention it," he said, turning back around to the river to fish for more dinner. Snow shook his head and walked away, Serah joining him soon after. She linked arms with him, and, silently, they both went to the place Sazh had described.

It was anything but easy to find a teenage boy amongst a crowd of weeping, terrified adults. The crowds were massive in this section of the refugee camp, and it would have been impossible to make his way through the sea of people were it not for his tremendous height. Serah clung to his coat and followed in his wake, blindly going wherever he went. Hours must have gone by, painful hours where they often thought they caught glimpses of the silver-headed youth, but it would always turn out to be someone else.

The sun was settling in, preparing to dip beneath the western horizon, its bright rays sparkling through the crystals of Cocoon's surface. It cast a mystical glow over the people, and the newcomers all gathered to watch the spectacle. Snow hoped that, maybe, the concentrated crowd would help him find his target, but he had no such luck.

After nearly another hour of madly searching, Serah finally tugged on Snow's coat. "Snow…I don't think we're going to find him today," her voice quaked at the thought of not knowing where Lightning was for yet another night. "We can't keep searching. My feet ache and we're not having any luck. We should go back to our homes."

"We can't just give up—"

"We're not giving up," she corrected gently. "We're just going to have to try again tomorrow. I don't think it'd be a good idea to look in the dark, and, besides, I think we've circled this side of camp almost twenty times…"

She was logical and made sense, but he still didn't like it. But, as always, he knew he didn't have a strong enough argument to oppose her, so he agreed to go back.

They reached the lean-to that Snow occupied, and though Serah had a matching one right next door, she still opted to sleep in Snow's, although he made sure she was tucked in away from him. The last thing he needed was Lightning finding them snuggled together when she decided to show her face again.

Serah sighed and took off her shoes, massaging the soles of her feet. "I haven't walked that much in a long time," she commented.

_She never would have been able to keep up with us._

_…hm, that's kinda harsh._

"Hurting?" Snow asked kindly, then offered to get some water for her to soak her feet in. She said that he didn't have to do that, but he decided to go do it anyway.

Once he got to the river, he realized that, despite having a canteen to fill up with water, he had no bucket to put the water in. He groaned in annoyance at his own stupidity, then marched back to where Serah was, admitting his mistake to her as soon as he got inside.

She was down to her tank and her skirt; her tall socks had been removed, exposing a long span of thin, pearly legs. Snow tried to avert his eyes, to think of Lightning and _her _legs, but he was a guy and it was so damn hard sometimes…

"I stink. I'm going to go wash," he announced.

Serah paused for a minute, then just said, "Okay".

He ran out as fast as he could, aiming for the river he had just left. He didn't waste any time: he jumped right in as soon as he stripped off his shirt and pants.

His boxers floated up lazily around him, caressing his legs so softly that he shivered more from that then the chill of the water around him. Relaxing was next to impossible in a river this cold, on this chilly of a night, and, not able to stand the biting chill, he hurried through his bathing routine.

He hauled himself out of the river as quickly as he had jumped in, then realized he hadn't brought the towel from his pack. He swore loudly a few times and began to believe that somebody was out to piss him off today.

No other real options were available, aside from waiting to dry or returning to Serah in his boxers. He didn't want to dry off with his dirty shirt, nor did he wish to send Serah the wrong message, so he just had to wait it out. He laid in the grass, watching the stars wink at him from their velvet canvas, and wondered just where in this wide expanse of land Lightning could be.

He knew that she had to be nearby: there were too many things left unfinished and, knowing her, she'd have to wrap up any loose ends before she committed herself to something else. But, once she determined her job was completed, she would do the next task she believed necessary, whatever that would be, and would do it without feeling the need to inform the others.

It was a foolish wish, but he hoped that the next loose end would be him, that she would come back and get him, reunite, and finally be able to be together, with each other, and no interferences. It was selfish, perhaps, considering the chaos that still swirled around them and the fact that Serah was still oblivious to what had passed between he and Lightning, but it was a desire nonetheless.

He missed her, everything about her. He missed her criticism that masked her want for him to improve himself, missed watching her battle, missed their banter, how she was never able to admit that maybe she had a friend in Fang, and even things like the way she'd try to punch the daylights out of him when she would get mad…

_I miss her so much._

It was so foolish, though! It had only been a few days since he had last seen her, but it seemed like so long ago. Then again, they had spent the past several months together, every single day, for all hours of the day. Not seeing the other five constantly was another thing he was not yet used to, but it was the worst with Lightning.

He hated to admit it, but it was true: without Lightning, his life was boring.

She _was _the action and adventure. He followed _her_ to the next battle, followed her around Cocoon, following a target that only she knew about. She would not sit still, would not want to settle down and live the normal, average life like Serah did.

Snow had thought he was ready to settle down, be content, and have a family, but now he realized that he been misinformed. He hadn't know about the excitement that waited for him with Lightning, but now that he did, he wanted more of it.

Oh, how much more of it he wanted…

Though the darkness deepened around him, he knew that he didn't want to return to Serah just yet. His mind was too busy thinking, remembering, to go back to the dilapidated shelter that they currently shared.

There was also another reason, one that his conscious self wasn't entirely aware of, for why he wanted to linger. He had read some sappy stories in his day, and in many of them, there would always be a risqué meeting by a river or some body of water. The meeting would be mysterious, unexpected, and fulfill the passions that each party craved. Snow had many passions and desires right now, many wants and needs.

And, so, Snow waited.

But this was no story, no fable meant to satisfy the lusts of the readers.

He stayed for over an hour, but Lightning never came.


	28. To Lightning

Several more days passed without signs of Lightning or Hope. Serah never gave up, despite the daily disappointment when Snow took her to the main refugee area to search for Lightning's young and loyal companion. Each day that they tried and failed frustrated Snow all the more. He was furious with Lightning for disappearing without even _mentioning _something to him, especially considering everything that they had gone through. They'd bled together, freed Cocoon from the whims of the fal'Cie, battled fate, became something of a pair and did all that other shit and she _still_ was acting like she was a solitary soldier. It had seemed as if she was making progress with her lone wolf issues, but she certainly proved Snow wrong with this latest debacle.

The worst part was that Sazh had _some _inkling as to what was going on, but he wasn't telling Snow. Snow had practically begged Sazh the night before to give him a hint, and all Sazh would say is that he was sure that Soldier Girl was fine and that there was no reason to be concerned. Though he tried to push for more information, Snow got nowhere: after that tidbit, Sazh shut up, leaned back, and observed Cocoon in the night sky for some time.

It was hard enough dealing with his anger over Lightning disappearing, but now Snow was trying to deal with Serah's sudden mood swings. She was angry that Lightning was gone, just like Snow, only hers was, perhaps, to a greater extreme. It didn't make sense to her why Lightning would fight so hard to get Serah back and then, when she _did _come back, the damn soldier went and disappeared without a word. What, Serah would ask, was the point? Didn't Lightning care? Didn't she _want _to be with Serah?

Serah would ask Snow all these questions between fits of rage and sorrow. Snow, who had always thought of Serah as level-headed and easy-going, was not prepared for these outbursts and, when they did happen, it was so sudden that he was struck dumb at the shock of it happening at all. He was used to Lightning's violence and harsh words that would cut right into the heart of the matter, not these types of questions that circled around why things didn't go as Serah had thought they would.

He had to admit that he was irked about Serah's reactions, justified or not. While he, too, wondered why the hell Lightning ran off, he was more concerned with where she went and if she was safe, especially since she was without anyone to back her up. Serah was probably concerned, but she was only focusing on why Lightning wasn't there with _her. _He didn't get why Serah could be that selfish about the situation, about why she could only concentrate on how she was being slighted of her sister's company.

Snow seemed to always be in Serah's company, though. Currently the two of them were walking through the overcrowded refugee area for the umpteenth time, trying to search out the platinum-blond locks of a young teen amongst a crowd of young teens with platinum-blond locks. Hope was also short, which was a strike against their search, and his clothes were not even all that noticeable amongst the crowd of brightly-dressed, morose refugees. The most they could pray for, really, was that Hope would notice Snow walking amongst the crowd and run up to greet him or something.

"This is pointless," Snow seethed, stopping for a quick break under the shade of a tree on the outskirts of the camp. "I don't know why you keep insisting we do this, Serah. We're not going to find Hope this way. It's impossible. We have to think of something else."

"What else is there to think of?" Serah said, a slight edge of bitterness to her voice. "Sazh seems to know more about what's going on then he's saying, but he won't talk about any of it. We can't find Hope. Vanille and that other girl –"

"Fang," Snow interjected sharply. He wasn't about to let the elder tribeswoman's name to be forgotten.

"Right, Fang…they're both crystallized and we can't talk to them. Either we get Sazh to spill the beans, which I doubt you'll do, or we keep looking for Hope."

"'Which I doubt you'll do?'" Snow quoted, his eyes narrowed in irritation.

"You haven't done it yet, have you? Or maybe you haven't figured out that Sazh knows something about all this? Either way, I'm sure you won't be able to get him to talk, so we might as well keep looking for Hope."

Snow bit his tongue, unable to speak out of the fear that he would tell Serah just what it was that was on his mind – that she was being stupid about all this and that she just didn't _understand. _If Lightning didn't want to be found, then she was going to be covering her tracks hellishly well. If Hope really did know something, then he'd have been given strict orders not to say anything which, knowing Hope, he would never defy those orders, especially when it was Snow who was asking. Neither was Sazh going to say anything out of respect for a fellow soldier's wishes and Snow didn't want to force his friend into releasing information that he didn't want to share. For now all Snow could hope for was that Sazh was right; that Lightning was okay and that, eventually, she was bound to return.

But he couldn't tell Serah that. He tried to, once, but all she said was that if they stopped looking then it must mean that they don't care anymore. She'd go on to say that she knew Snow and Lightning didn't get along well, and that she didn't expect Snow to understand – it was just something that Serah felt needed to be done. Snow's anger flared at her callous statement because he knew he cared about Lightning's absence more than anybody else present.

To say that, though, would require more explaining than he cared to do. Instead of talking he yanked out his canteen and took a long swig from it. When he saw that Serah didn't bring hers, he handed his off and watched as she forced an appreciative smile and took a drink. She replaced the cap, but held onto the container, tracing the scratches and gouges on its surface with an appraising finger.

"Did something happen on your trip? With Lightning?"

Snow was surprised from his stewing thoughts with the question and he turned a questioning glance at her. "A lot of things happened on our trip with all of us."

Her brows furrowed as she shook her head. "No, I mean…did she change somehow? Did…something happen to her? Something bad? There's a reason she's doing all this, I know there is…I just can't figure out what."

"Serah, we went through hell. Of course we all changed. We grew a bit, I guess. Learned stuff about ourselves. That sort of thing."

She sat there for a moment, thinking, her neatly trimmed nails tracing the roughly-hewn letters of Snow's name on the canteen. "What did you learn, Snow?"

He thought about the answer for a bit. He knew that he had grown, but how? He didn't see the world like he used to, that much was certain. Snow turned forward and shrugged towards nothing in particular. "That nothing's as simple as it seems, I guess."

"And Light? What about her?"

"What makes you think I know?"

Serah watched him as she spoke. "You may not get along well, but you traveled together for a long time."

Everyone knew that Lightning had developed as a person more than anyone else in their group. They all saw the changes in her attitude; all saw how, at first, she had kept them at arm's length and, at the end, was willing to call everyone, even Fang, her friend. She was unquestionably an army within a single person, sure, but she had come to rely on the others as time passed by, though in her own unique way.

"She learned that people care about her, and that she can care for other people," Snow said quietly, thoughtfully. He stared out in the distance, remembering. When Serah shifted next to him, he brought his attention back to her, a small smile on his face, forgetting his irritation towards her earlier as he delved further into his thoughts about Lightning and the journey the six of them had together.

He would do anything to go back to their adventure. Anything at all.

Serah hummed in acknowledgment and quickly stood, offering Snow a hand that he accepted, though he didn't play their old game – where he'd pull her down to him. He just stood, his mind distracted, and he vaguely registered Serah saying something about returning home since it was starting to look like it would rain again. He agreed to the suggestion with a slight nod.

Idle chatter filled most of their time as they walked home, talking about nothing particularly important or very interesting. Serah would comment about her future career goals, her vision of how Pulse would be once everything settled down, how much she missed Maqui…things of that nature. Snow would nod and make grunting noises or add small side comments to show that he was listening, and once in awhile he would add something of his own to the conversation.

Pockets of awkward silence would fall between them as well. Conversations would suddenly die, leaving nothing but the sounds of wind bustling through the trees to meet their ears. Snow would realize then just how thin the bond between him and Serah had become, at least on his side. He had been absent from her for a longer period of time than he had dated her, and now…she was almost a stranger. She was the same Serah with the same personality, but with his new outlook…she was just different.

He rubbed his neck when Serah found something else to discuss, almost preferring the silence so that he could think. Chattering on, she was oblivious to his troubled countenance and his frown and, he was certain, she knew nothing of the turmoil brewing within him.

Ceasing suddenly in her tracks, Serah gasped. "Is that…a velocycle?"

Snow's eyes snapped up, scanning the horizon. "What?"

Serah looked sideways at him, both curiosity and excitement in her gaze. "Come on! It's a velocycle up there, by our huts! Let's go check it out!"

Snow jogged by Serah's side, forming a plan. He was sure that the only people with velocycles would be some sort of newcomer, and the only thing a newcomer would possibly want with their huts would be to take them over. He wasn't sure how many were there but he knew he could handle some common thugs if he had to. He'd fought much worse.

As they approached they heard familiar voices ringing through the air and the tinkling of a very familiar and very feminine laughter sent a bolt of much-needed joy through Snow. He looked quickly to Serah, flashed a smile, and jerked his head so that she would follow.

They neared their own lean-to and peered in, but saw that nobody was present. Snow quickly crossed the distance between his and Sazh's home and noticed that the voices were much louder. Hardly able to contain his excitement he burst inside without checking, and his arrival sent a chorus of cheers throughout the cramped space.

"The hero's finally here!"

"'bout damn time!"

"Where the hell have you been?"

Snow grinned, really grinned, for the first time in what seemed like forever. He looked around at each of his old comrades and slapped them once on the back in some awkward man-hug until he got to Lebreau. She swatted away his attempt at a light hug and embraced him tightly.

"Idiot! We've been waiting here for ages! You should have known that we'd be coming today," she said, punching him on the arm when she separated from him. Snow rubbed his neck again.

"We've even been waiting to pull out the booze until you arrived," Gadot said, pointing lazily to several packages that were residing in the corner of Sazh's hut.

Serah stepped up next to Snow, flashing Lebreau a strange smile before snaking her arm through Snow's. Before she was able to lay claim to him, Snow shook her off gently and went over to Maqui, ruffling his hair much like he and Lightning had always done to Hope. Maqui pushed him away, a blush forming on his cheeks when Serah giggled.

It began to rain outside almost as soon as Snow had said a few words to everyone. Sazh, who had just run back in with some food he had been storing in a make-shift freezer, was muttering darkly under his breath. Once he saw Snow amongst his companions, however, his spirits seemed to lift. "They found me earlier today. Tried to find your lazy as—er, butt," he corrected himself with a sidelong look to Dajh, "but that didn't work out too well."

"Figures," Yuj grunted. "Can't find him when he's needed, but he's always there annoying the hell out of you when you don't want him to be –"

"Hey!" Lebreau slapped Yuj's shoulder. "There's a kid amongst us. Watch your mouth or it'll be the next thing I slap."

Yuj rolled his eyes but he at least apologized to Sazh, who just shrugged. "I've taught the boy a lot worse, believe me."

They settled down a bit while the rain poured outside, and though they were crammed inside the small hut like sardines it was still cozy, somehow. Serah was to his right, Lebreau at his left, and Gadot directly across from him, sitting next to Sazh and Dajh. Lebreau was watching Gadot and Dajh with a small smile, obviously enjoying whatever she was seeing.

Maqui took the spot on Serah's other side, and the two were deeply engrossed in some conversation. Yuj remained quiet, observing everyone carefully, as he usually did.

Snow asked how they had been able to find him, but Gadot just shrugged and, with a knowing look to Lebreau, said that they just had a good idea of where to look. Though he tried to press further, the two just chuckled and would answer no further. He didn't mind too much, though, and soon it was far from his mind.

After some brief questions were passed around, Gadot delved into describing the turn of events on Cocoon while Snow had been a l'Cie running from the Sanctum. Everyone was quiet when the retelling took place, though the other NORA members would remind Gadot of certain events that had occurred from time to time. Dajh tried to interrupt with questions, but Sazh gave him a toy gun he had whittled out of wood to shut him up.

Apparently, immediately following the branding of the l'Cie and when the Vestige fell, Gadot and the others used the grand distraction to take the refugees into the outskirts of Eden to an ancient part of town where relatively few people lived. They snuck in at night, into an abandoned factory of some sort, and tried to lay low for awhile, hoping that Snow would come back and give them a directive. When they went nearly a week without any word, they had feared the worst for Snow and decided that they needed to relocate, as the search for the refugees was intensifying and drawing nearer to where they hid.

Lebreau and Maqui went out and, over time, _acquired _many different outfits from street vendors for the refugees so that they could begin the process of blending in with the populace. They couldn't make a stand against the Sanctum, they knew, so the only idea that they had was to try to evade and assimilate.

Yuj had the idea of sending out one family or one group of people every day to various large cities to help avoid any suspicion that might have accrued if dozens of people suddenly arrived at once. With something similar to a plan had been formed, they began to execute it.

At this point Maqui excitedly added that almost every family vowed that, if NORA ever came to blows with the Sanctum, they'd do their best to help them out.

_Damn right they did._

Gadot paused and focused his attention on Dajh. "Hey man," he said, his words directed to Sazh. "I don't know how much you want your kid to hear…"

Sazh nodded and moved to take Dajh to Snow's place, but Lebreau stopped him. "I already know this story. I'll take him." She held out her hand for Dajh to take, but the young boy shied away from her, clutching close to Sazh's pant leg.

"I can take him," Serah offered, standing and motioning for Dajh to come to her. Dajh gave Lebreau a once-over before sprinting to take Serah's hand. Lebreau tried to protest, but all Serah said was that it would be nice if the NORA gang could catch up, and that Snow could simply fill her in later.

They all watched Serah leave, covering Dajh's head to protect him from the rain as she ran. Gadot sighed and apologized, but when it was brushed off he shrugged and carried on where he had stopped.

He continued to say that they had remained in their hideout for too long and were discovered. The Sanctum came and started a slaughter when the original NORA members were out scouting the opposite side of the city for more clothing. When they returned they saw that pretty much all of the people who had remained in the factory were dead. Only a few survived because they hid, and of those few a couple committed suicide later because they were too traumatized.

At this part Gadot stopped and rubbed a hand over his face. "It was weird. Like…hard to explain. You'd wake up one morning having had around twenty people with you, and then you blink and there were suddenly nineteen, eighteen…it was crazy."

Maqui nodded gravely. "Most hung themselves. I found a few. One guy jumped off a cliff. Yuj found him."

Snow looked to Yuj and saw that his normally pale skin had paled even further at the mention of his find.

_Even the young kids had to endure all this. It wasn't just Hope. Yuj, and Maqui, too…_

His outrage towards the Sanctum, as destroyed as it was, began to grow. He vowed to never allow something like the Sanctum to exist again, so long as he was alive.

Lebreau quietly picked up where Gadot had left off. "By the time we made it to Palumpolum, there were only about fifteen of us all together. A few refugees that we had sent there earlier, people who were already able to blend in, managed to find us, somehow. They agreed to take a few of the kids that survived. Each city we went to was like that: we'd find somebody that we had helped that was willing to help us in return. Finally, after about a month and a half of that, it was back down to just us."

She looked to Gadot to keep going, but he was still lost in unpleasant memories. Yuj took over. "I don't know how long we traveled, but it seemed like forever. We went from city to city, making sure things were okay. There were a few times we were recognized and we had to run and avoid that city for awhile. Eventually we made it back to Eden, where we tried to hang out under the radar but still try to keep track of everything that was going on. Lebreau managed to snag a job and Maqui did, too…probably because they stand out the least," he added with a cocky smirk. Maqui punched him, which only caused Yuj to chuckle. "We watched and we waited for some news. Awhile went by, but there wasn't anything."

"Then something happened to Dysley, Raines stepped in as Primarch, and the world went to hell," Gadot finished. "We were at the races, watching. We saw you. We saw everything that happened and we were stoked and pissed all at once. Yeah, you were alive, but you never came to find us, douchebag!"

Snow lifted his hands in apology and Sazh grinned, watching the group silently.

"Anyway…while you were gone, not a whole lot changed until Raines took over. The Sanctum was getting stricter about some things and they'd kill anyone on sight who they believed helped out someone having anything to do with Pulse, but aside from that you wouldn't have known that much changed. When Raines took over, the Calvary was pissed and was ready and willing to arm anybody who wanted to stand up against the Sanctum. We got armed, we got velocycles, and then we kicked ass."

"How'd you get to Pulse?" Snow asked, but Gadot shook his head.

"That's a story for later. Now, it's your turn. What you have to say has gotta be way more exciting."

Snow nodded to Sazh to start the story. "After all," Snow said, "these guys already know what I was doing up until I went for Serah."

Sazh shrugged and spun a large portion of the tale, stopping only once they got to Pulse. It was at that point, Snow realized, that he and Fang had started to draw close to each other, and the same could be said for Snow and Lightning. Snow's eyes fell on the sad chocolate gaze and he nodded imperceptibly to his old friend, understanding. Snow took over and rushed over the events that led them to Mah'habara, Taejin's Tower, Oerba and, eventually, back to Cocoon.

When he mentioned the battle against Barthandelus, the NORA members drew close, listening intently to how everything played out. Lebreau gasped when she found out that the four from Cocoon had turned into Cie'th and quickly asked how they escaped.

Snow remembered everything that had taken place when he had been transformed: it was all so vivid that he doubted the memories would ever fade. His mouth opened and shut several times, trying to find the words. How could he explain that he had seen the past, and then a future where everyone seemed so content? How could they understand that he hadn't even realized whose memories he had been witnessing until halfway through the experience? Would they be able to comprehend such a thing?

Sazh coughed lightly. "It's hard for even me to get," he said. "Basically…we weren't human. We didn't realize that we were human. But we had such a strong bond with each other, and had been so driven by our duty that, even once we became Cie'th, we were able to remember. I don't know about Trench over there, but I sure as hell had no idea what was happening at first. I saw flashes of my old life, of old memories, and slowly I started to remember what I was – that I was a person – and then I began remembering _why _I was in the predicament I was in. After awhile, the memories helped…free me, I guess. Then again, we may not have ever been Cie'th to begin with," Sazh said with a small smirk that Snow couldn't help but return.

"Coulda been more fal'Cie smoke and mirrors," Snow echoed, flinching lightly at the remembrance that was so close at heart.

A short, quiet calm fell about them as they all thought about what the other party had to endure. Sazh, never one to appreciate quiet moments, suddenly burst into laughter. "Remember that time when we tricked Hope into eating like…five of those deadly fruits? He was up shitting all night!"

Snow joined in with the laughter. "No, he wasn't gone all night. He made sure to check on Light when we were on watch."

"That was before Mah'habara, huh?"

"Yup."

Sazh grinned. "Little bastard."

"Whoawhoawhoa," Gadot wiped the air with his hand to get the talking to pause. "What happened? It sounds like something I need to know."

Sazh and Snow looked to each other, then started to chuckle again, not even sure where to start. The old pilot began saying something to the effect of Hope being jealous of Snow and Lightning, but Snow quickly cut Sazh off, his eyebrows arching high to warn the old man. "Oh, for shit's sake, really?" Sazh grumbled. "Just be a man about it already."

"Now isn't the time, Sazh!"

"What's this about?" Gadot asked. Lebreau and Yuj joined in the inquiring, while Maqui just looked at Snow with confusion. "Jealous of you and Farron? How come?"

"Hope had a crush on her pretty bad," Snow said, trying to cover everything up with a smile. "And since me and her were the same age…" he shrugged and waved his hand casually through the air, as if expecting the statement to explain itself. For the most part, it seemed to work, too.

Sazh dropped his jaw, as if he couldn't believe Snow had come up with such a clever lie. Gadot squinted at Snow, disbelief and a knowing smile on his face. "I see," was all Gadot said, shrugging off the conversation and picking up with others that revolved around the refugee camp.

Since Sazh had been heavily involved in helping out the refugees lately he answered as many of the questions that the NORA team could throw at him. They seemed eager to help out and Sazh gave them plenty of ideas on where they could start.

Conversations and tales from bygone days were swapped between the six of them and the laughter that often stemmed from such stories were music to Snow's ears. It had been far too long since he laughed properly with his old friends, and though he wanted Lightning to be with them, reminiscing and enjoying life, he had to settle for what was in front of him.

Eventually Sazh came around to asking how the NORA team had met, which was a topic they were all too willing to talk about. Snow, with one knee pulled near his chest and the other resting against the floor, made a sweeping gesture towards Gadot. "Me and him were friends since we were little. Neither one of us had parents, so we hung around with each other in the orphanage all the time. Later on, when we were like…ten, we meet up with this girl on the beach-"

"I might add that they tried to pass off the most ridiculous pick-up lines I've ever heard as legitimate flirting, too," Lebreau threw in with a laugh. "'Girl, if looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction!'"

"Snow hasn't improved much since then," Gadot said quickly, ducking when Snow threw his canteen at him.

"That was your line, asshole!"

"Of course it was," Lebreau cooed. "Snow, I believe you said: 'How was Heaven when you left it?'"

"I did not say that!"

"You did too! I don't forget these types of things. I'm a _woman._" She paused and bit her lip. "Snow, I think you also asked a bit later what time I had to be back to Heaven or something. You were on a roll that day."

"Oh, shut up. I didn't say that."

Yuj's face brightened suddenly. "Remember when Lightning dissed Snow a few years ago?" He raised his voice a pitch or two and imitated Lightning as best he could. "'Dinner, with you? I'm not that desperate for a good meal.'"

All the guys, save Snow, were busting up laughing. Snow was not pleased.

He countered with all the many times Gadot had been put down with his advances at the Pub, the multiple times he had a drink thrown in his face, and the one time he got kicked in the crotch. "Also, a certain woman threatened to cut his balls off."

"Just _one,_" Gadot corrected with a small smirk. "The left one. I still believe she'd do it, too."

"She would," Sazh threw in. Gadot's head spun to face the old man, who wore a wicked grin.

"Hell, the old guy knows?"

"'course I do. I'm _Sazh. _Sazh always knows all the shit that goes down."

From there a lot of finger pointing, Snow putting Gadot into a headlock, cheering, calming down, and more story swapping took place.

They were all getting along well, and they were thoroughly enjoying each other's company. Yuj and Maqui, being the youngest, just seemed to absorb more of what everyone was saying rather than offering anything themselves, but aside from that there always seemed to be something to say or a story to share.

Eventually the storm had passed and in its place a hazy mist hovered above the grass while the dark storm clouds clung to the night sky around the moon, acting as an efficient blocker of light.

The group had fallen silent, content with the company of others and the memories that had been passed between them. Every once in awhile, as they reflected, they would chuckle quietly to themselves or shake their head.

Eventually Sazh announced that he should probably go fetch Dajh, but he offered to let some of the guys stay in with him. Maqui and Yuj jumped at the opportunity to sleep somewhere with a roof over their heads while Lebreau said she'd stay wherever Serah was for a girl's night out. Snow, a bit relieved that Serah would be well away from his abode tonight, turned to Gadot and mumbled something about a sausage fest and a sleepover. Gadot rubbed his hands together in glee, slapped Snow's butt and, at the onslaught of arched brows and the awkward silence, he couldn't help but laugh.

Sazh left to grab Dajh and returned with both his son and Serah in tow. Lebreau quickly explained the sleeping arrangements to her and Serah nodded, quickly giving Snow a kiss and returning the chocobo plushie before she trotted back out with Lebreau. His pilot friend just shook his head and proceeded to tell Dajh that they were having some guests over.

Gadot clapped a hand on Snow's shoulders and led him outside without a word to the others. Snow pointed towards his lean-to, and the two old friends made their way there.

"You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do," Gadot said severely. "And since we all failed to crack open any beer while we were chatting, I figure we can talk and booze at the same time."

"How did you manage to bring that here? Where'd you get it?"

Gadot cast him a sidelong grin. "We raided a few Sanctum-run places on our way here," he said. He produced a couple bottles of beer from his pack and handed one to Snow as they each took a seat on the opposite ends of Snow's tiny living space. They cracked open their drinks and Snow felt extremely satisfied when he felt the cool liquid slide down his throat.

"So," his tanned friend said, raising the neck of the bottle to his lips as he pondered his question. "I know you ain't telling the truth about the sergeant. Out with it."

"I've only been gone for a few months, and you've already become a lightweight. This shit's getting to your head," Snow said. "You're imagining things."

Gadot took another swig. "I'm not as dumb as you. I can figure things out. I knew something was up when we met up with you in Eden. Ain't no way she'd have told you that story about me and her unless something was going on. You also were giving her that moony-eyed look that little puppies give, you know?"

Snow chuckled at that.

"And you sure as hell wouldn't have threatened to beat me up 'cause of what happened on the beach a few years ago unless, you know…you two had it going on."

"You're crazy."

"You're evasive! I'm right!" Gadot looked behind him, at the wall, remembering that Serah and Lebreau were only twenty or so feet away. He scooted across the room and sat perpendicular to Snow, so both were resting against the wall. The leader of NORA was quiet, slowly draining his bottle, while Gadot merely waited for Snow to cave-in.

"If something was going on between us, don't you think she'd be here now?"

"Hell no. She does what she wants. And you're still being elusive, so I still know I'm right."

Snow rolled his eyes and remained silent, not wanting to give Gadot the pleasure of being right, even though the damn man knew Snow well enough to tell. They had grown up together and were like brothers. They had shared details and thoughts about their lives with each other that they hadn't shared with anybody else. Of course the tanned oaf would know he had a thing for the same girl he had a thing for years ago.

Gadot rested his head against the wall, lolling it to the side to look at his old friend. "I take it Serah…well, it's obvious she doesn't know. How'd it all unfold?"

"With Lightning?" At Gadot's eager nod, Snow sighed and rubbed his face, trying to grasp the straws of memories that floated lazily in his brain and danced out of reach because of the alcohol. "I don't know. When I was with Serah…well, we were never around Light. Serah was pretty careful to keep me from her, probably because Light woulda flipped out…so I never had to deal with her then. But when it came around to it being Lightning's birthday, I knew I'd be facing her and telling her me and Serah were engaged …and that's when I started to get the feeling that everything was wrong. In typical me fashion, I just made myself forget about it. Then the two of us got stuck doing the same journey and…I don't know. I realized she wasn't as much of a bitch as I thought and, as bits and pieces of her past started to come together, I totally got why she was how she was. It started out as respect, admiration, and then it just blew up in my face. In _our _faces, really."

Gadot spluttered out the brown liquid he hadn't yet swallowed. "You mean to tell me that all this shit was _reciprocated _by the Sergeant?" At Snow's tiny smirk, Gadot shook his head. "Hell, man. That's gotta be some record. I've never heard of her dating anyone. _Ever._"

"She didn't. There was just the instance of you," he added with a menacing growl that Gadot ignored.

"You sleep with her?"

"What? No! I mean, I would…no!"

Gadot laughed again, then ran his hands through his hair and considered Snow for a lengthy amount of time. "You know, I thought it was weird when we ran into Lightning. She talked to us for a minute and when I asked if you were with her, she looked all uncomfortable and said 'no', then told us how to find yo—"

"Wait, you mean you saw her on Cocoon? When?"

"I dunno. Maybe five, six days ago? She said she was aiming for Palumpolum. Dunno why; that's all she said."

_Palumpolom? That's where we met up with the Calvary…and it was where Hope lived. Why is she going there? Why did she go alone? Why didn't she tell us where she was going?_

"How did you two meet up?"

"We saw her in Eden when we were getting ready to leave. She was poking around where the Primarch's office used to be."

_What the hell is she doing?_

Snow nodded and tried to piece together the new information in this puzzle, but Gadot's incessant questioning about Snow and Lightning was making the task far too difficult, especially when he got around to querying on how he would handle things with Serah, and how Lightning was wrapping her mind around all that, too. When he admitted he didn't know how to tell Serah, Gadot shook his head.

"Gotta tell her soon, bro. You can't keep waiting. I know how you feel about breaking hearts – I mean, you could barely get yourself to dump that crazy chick; kept coming up with stupid excuses. What was her name?"

A rueful smile spread. "Meredith," Snow answered.

"She was bat-shit crazy, man, and you still couldn't do it. You made _me _do most of the work, jackass."

"Oh, I remember."

"You better remember. You still owe me for that."

"You were repaid. I introduced you to Liza. Remember _that_?"

Gadot bowed his head in thought, and when he raised it Snow saw a devilish smirk. "I'm pretty sure it's impossible to forget Liza. You're right: debt repaid."

Both of them took to their drinks for a minute more, not bothering with thinking and just letting the alcohol have the desired effects on their brain. "So," Gadot drawled out. "I have to say…I mean, first let me say that I'm glad I'm not in your shoes. But I gotta admit that I'm glad you won't be marrying Serah."

"Oh?"

"She's too prim-and-proper. We're a rough-and-tumble bunch. We like to drink. We like to fight. We like to curse. The two times you brought Serah around, she was nice and all, but sometimes I got the feeling she thought we were dirty mongrels."

"We are."

"True," conceded Gadot, "but I don't need to be thinking _other _people think that about us. The Sergeant, on the other hand, is even more of a beast than us, curses eloquently, and could easily drink me under the table. The night we got drunk, she had like…twice as many drinks as me and could probably have kept going, if it weren't for the bar fights." He cackled at this, but moved on. "And anyway, you looked creepy as hell when you stood next to Serah. No offense, but she looked like…like…"

"I got it," Snow mumbled, remembering his own comments towards Vanille about how he looked like a pedophile when he got paired up with her.

"Good. No offense or anything," Gadot added as an afterthought.

Snow rolled his empty bottle across the wooden floors, watching it drop and fall with the curves of the logs. He chewed on his lower lip for a second then turned to Gadot. "Why the hell didn't you say something before?"

"You would have kicked my ass?"

Snow gave a resigned sigh to that. He probably would have. "Wanna do like we did with Meredith and –"

"No thanks. I don't mind winning over girlfriends, but I won't do fiancées."

Snow gave a half-hearted smile. "I figured it was a long shot."

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you're going for the sergeant, but you still gotta tell Serah. Soon."

Though he wanted to inform Gadot about the promise he gave to Lightning and why he felt obligated to keep it, he figured that Gadot would come back with a better reason as to why he shouldn't wait and, knowing Gadot, Snow wouldn't be able to counter with anything better. He _knew _they were right, both Gadot and Sazh, but he couldn't bring himself around to action. Not quite yet.

He heard Gadot chuckling next to him, and at the curious, lifted eyebrow that Snow prompted him with, Gadot raised his beer bottle and said in a low, cheerful voice: "To Lightning: a finer ass I've never grabbed."


	29. Hope and Shit

_A/N: Please check my profile to see a link to MakudeX's Youtube video that he created, which is based off of Revelations. Quite a few weeks went into preparing it, and it is only the first of a series of videos that is being planned. Please leave a comment on his YT, and also feel free to review this chapter - I always appreciate it!_

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It had been strange, at first, for her to ascend the icy steps back to Cocoon - the home that she had grown to loathe because of all the ghosts that haunted every corner. She hadn't wanted to come back but a sense of duty to those that she had grown to care for had forced her to make this journey, to traverse back into these unholy grounds that she had fought so hard to both save and destroy.

The feeling was odd, to say the least. She knew she was the cause of the permanent silence that fell onto her ears, knew that she was part of the reason why a huge number of the planet's population lay dead across her path, and yet, despite the death and decay, she also knew that what she did was for the greater good and that all this destruction was a necessary evil. She had, after all, saved Cocoon from a madman and prevented the deranged fal'Cie from sacrificing everyone to the Maker.

Despite this knowledge, she couldn't help but feel twinges of guilt whenever she would stumble over a dead body or the remains of a once glorious building that was now little more than crumbled concrete.

When faced with the signs of the fate she had decided upon for so many, she could do nothing more than bite her lip and look away, ever towards whatever goal she had in mind for that day. It was the only way to get by without being crushed by the overwhelming reality of just what they had done.

Nimbly she hopped over the side of a fallen apartment building, noticing out of the corner of her eye a blackish puddle of blood and a hand that had, unlike the rest of the body, been saved from being crushed beneath the rubble. _Nothing can be done about it now_, she thought coldly, the same way she had been thinking since she ascended the steps to this snake's nest. A_ll I can do is keep moving forward. Feeling pity or remorse will only slow me down and drive me crazy._

Pausing, she strained her ear to listen for her little partner. She heard the soft patter of feet behind her hopping over the same obstacle she had just passed over and, now reassured, she moved on without looking behind her.

Cocoon was much different now than it had been. Thanks to the layer of ice cradling it from the bottom and the ultimate death of Phoenix, the sun-fal'Cie, the planet was no longer the temperate climate it had once been: it was now exceedingly cold. The warming ultraviolet rays from Pulse's sun was unable to penetrate the atmosphere Cocoon and so the temperatures were constantly frigid. In addition to losing its heat source, Phoenix had also been the main light source of Cocoon - now that it was gone, so was the light. During what should have been daytime it was a constant dusk-like state of darkness, and night would envelop them in ultimate blackness.

No one had been prepared for this change, especially Lightning, who had escaped Cocoon as soon as it tumbled to its death. Because of this she had been forced to scavenge for much warmer clothing from either stores that still held such valuable remains amongst its pillaged goods or borrow from those who were unfortunate enough to perish during Cocoon's fall, all in order to make sure she wouldn't freeze to death on her Good Samaritan mission.

In addition to the temperature, the business of the people and their constant comings and goings, the life and activity of Cocoon, had been replaced with the gentle descent of crystal dust falling from the sky and landing silently on the ground below, collecting in a thin layer on the ground. It was oddly serene and unsettling all at once.

Aside from that, there was almost nothing – Cocoon was still and lamenting its demise.

It had gotten worse as she plunged deeper into the heart of this lost cause. When she had first returned she had seen people leaving in droves to get to the refugee camp, their faces filled with hope for a new beginning and sorrow for all that they had lost. Occasionally, too, she could find signs of violent lifeforms still struggling to survive: some of the wild, indigenous beasts of Cocoon still lived, and attached to their life was a hunger that was unrivaled by anything else Lightning had seen before. There were plenty of times where Lightning had to jump in and save the day for someone who was being dragged off by frenzied beasts that were eager for fresh meat.

Many times she was received with thanks, but the few occasions where she had been recognized made her think twice before running again to someone's aid. Even though she had just saved their lives she was, to them, responsible for all the death and all the devastation that lay in plain sight around them. To them, she was still a l'Cie, branded by the Pulse fal'Cie to continually bring them harm. To them, she was still a monster.

And though she'd never admit it out loud, there were times when she would silently agree with them.

None of her actions had been heroic, after all. They had all been done out of self-interest, out of the desire to persevere and keep surviving. If they had refused to accept the fate of destroying Cocoon, none of this would have happened and they would have turned into Cie'th and, eventually, Cie'th stones. No one would have been hurt, Cocoon would have still been standing, and life would have gone on as normal.

Instead she had fought to save her sister, her last remaining family. She chose peace of mind over the peace of the people. Along the way she killed whoever dared to impede her progress, despite how those men and women were only doing what they were ordered to do. Somewhere in between, she had committed the greatest sin of all and fallen head over heels for a damn, lumbering giant that still continued to desecrate her mind with unwholesome thoughts, in spite of the distance she had purposefully placed between them.

At what point was the population of Cocoon really in her thoughts? She could say all kinds of crap about giving the people what they really wanted – freedom from fal'Cie rule – but is that what they truly did want? Did someone give the populace some kind of poll so they knew that everyone wanted to be free of their benefactors who so carefully coddled them?

She grunted and hoisted herself up and over another fallen skyscraper. These thoughts had plagued her since before the fall of Cocoon, before Fang and Vanille had sacrificed themselves and become Ragnarok, and they would not abandon her.

_Fang and Vanille...they're gone for good, aren't they?_

They were the true heroes in all this; not Lightning, not Snow, and not any of the others. Had it not been for those two tribeswomen, everyone and everything would have perished – including her. Those two had been Cocoon's enemy, but they did all that they could to ensure their friends' survival.

Lightning sighed and reached back over the fallen concrete, waving her hand around in empty space until she felt another, smaller hand latch into hers. With another grunt she yanked the light weight up and over the obstacle she had just crossed and watched as Hope's body flew through the air. Another tug on his hand, towards the ground this time, forced the boy to flop down onto the hard concrete.

"Ow," he said, rubbing his backside and giving Lightning a lighthearted grimace.

She gave the briefest hint of a smile. "Toughen up," she said with a soft punch to his shoulder. He feigned reeling backward, clutching at his arm, a forced, pained expression on his face. When Lightning just rolled her eyes with a smile and turned back around, he quickly righted himself and jogged in front of her, down the only path available to them.

As Hope decided to lead the way she couldn't help but shake her head in wonder at this durable young boy. To say that she was surprised to see that he had tracked her down and set his mind to following her despite the harsh environment would an understatement of drastic proportions.

Before she left she had told Hope and Sazh her plans of what she was going to do, hoping to help calm any furor that may have resulted in a sudden disappearance on her part. They had protested, saying they should come along, but convincing arguments on her part convinced them that she needed to go alone - though it must be said that Sazh saw through her excuses and made a side comment that had made the young woman appreciate his oft-hidden wisdom.

But, at first, she had only wanted to come to Cocoon to see if she could discover any clues on how to free Fang and Vanille from their crystal slumber. Dysley's office was raided, along with a few other prime fal'Cie locations, but she had found nothing, of course. After a few days of pointless examining of documents that seemed top-secret, she decided to retrace her steps back to where Cocoon and Pulse were joined to see if she could take the railways and get to Palumpolom to make sure Hope's father had made it out. It had been a sudden decision that was brought on by her want to help rectify some wrongs, as she had seen the widespread devastation she had caused on her trip to Eden.

Of course, along the way she had an awkward meeting with the NORA gang, where Gadot proved to be more astute than Lightning wished, but that was another story entirely.

Once she made it back to the connecting point, she took off down the railways. That night she stopped to rest and, huddled beneath her blankets and coats and without a fire of any sort, she heard some rustling behind her. Lightning had grabbed her blade and, in a blind frenzy in the darkest depths of night, she had somehow managed to pin someone to the ground with a sword pointed at their throat. Thankfully she had learned what Hope's panicked yelp sounded like through the course of their quest together and so she immediately recognized his mangled cry for mercy.

After a lot of cursing and yelling on her part she had begun to drag him back to Pulse, but his pleas to go with her swayed her, just as they had not long after they first met, and she was too drained to argue with him further. She agreed to take him along with her to his hometown.

Once he was over the shock of nearly being murdered by Lightning, he was able to speak coherently enough to tell the story of how he had found the normally hard-to-trail soldier. Apparently he gotten tired of waiting at the refugee quarters for her, like she had instructed him to do, and used what resources he could scrape up to make the return trip to Cocoon. Each and every day he would make the trip and wait at the conjunction of the two planets, trying to spy her out. Mostly, he admitted after much questioning, he just wanted to be the first one to greet her back.

Then the day came when he was finally able to spy her coming from far down the road but, thanks to his vantage point high above her, he saw that she was not returning to their new home and instead taking a different route on the rails. Without thinking he hurriedly ran after her without any supplies to speak of.

When she realized that he was not exaggerating - he really didn't have any supplies - she chastised him for his hasty and ill-thought decision, reminding him of how important his pack was and how, many times, his pack would be the sole factor in determining whether or not he lived. She then went into a long-winded lecture on how vital proper rations were, how important knives or weapons would be, how a blanket was much-needed once they progressed beyond the conjunction point...

Really, though, she wasn't fooling either Hope or herself. She was relieved to have some company to travel with. She had gotten so used to traveling with five others and leaving her mind on either auto-pilot or ignore mode that, when left alone for a great stretch of time, she had been surprised at what a bitch her thoughts managed to be. Her trip from that point on was a lot more tolerable and, dare she say it, slightly more enjoyable because of her youthful companion.

She was now watching Hope as he side-stepped a rather gruesome-looking splatter that lay in his path and tried his best to ignore the fleshy bits that clung to the pavement. The shade of his face was a bit pale, maybe on the green side, but it wasn't nearly as bad as it had been initially. For the first few days Lightning found that she often had to stop and comfort Hope as he threw up on the side of the street after seeing something particularly ghastly lying alongside their path. He'd be embarrassed afterwards and try to brush it off as nothing, but she wasn't a fool: she knew this trip was taking a toll on him mentally.

And why shouldn't it? Lightning was probably eighteen, maybe nineteen, before she had to face sights like this. Even then, it wasn't nearly as widespread as what they were witnessing now, nor were they as…awful. He was only fourteen and witnessing signs of a terrible battle where the people who died had no chance of surviving; they had been totally helpless when it came to their demise.

If anything, she should have been bothered that Hope was becoming accustomed to such sights.

She called forward to Hope, trying her best to don the least affectionate and most straightforward voice she could. "How 'bout I blindfold you?"

Hope stumbled in his tracks then righted himself quickly. Without looking back, he said, "…what? B-blindfold?"

"I don't want you to see this stuff, Hope. You _shouldn't_ be seeing it."

"Oh." There was the slightest touch of disappointment in his voice. "No, that's fine. I can handle it."

_That's what worries me._

She shook her head slowly. Maybe she was being too protective of Hope, trying to save him from viewing the gruesome reality of the world. He wasn't Serah she wasn't his mother-figure, and she shouldn't go around fooling herself that she could somehow make things right with Serah through Hope.

She could guide him as a friend, maybe, or perhaps as a sort of a mentor, but she could never take Nora's place, or Bartholomew's.

_Let the parents do the parenting._

She almost laughed at that. When it came to Serah, she certainly hadn't tried to act her part of the sister. The two of them had an odd relationship – they had never really shared confidential information with each other, nor had they participated in…much of anything, really, with each other. No, all that stopped after their father died.

So…maybe Hope was her chance to act the part of the sister; the part that she had given up for the sake of raising Serah on her own as a teenager.

She shook her head, unsure of what to make of it all. For now she would play the role she had always donned with Hope and pray that everything would turn out well.

Their travels continued until the duskiness of day made way for the desolate darkness of night. By that point both were dragging their feet from exhaustion and when they hopped down the now above-ground-level railway to the soft grass below, Hope nearly stumbled and fell off the decent-sized hill they were on.

They clambered down the gentle slope until they were nestled between two hills. Lightning strained her eyes to see if she could find any decent place to rest and, this time, she was in luck: she spotted a very shallow cave that almost seemed carved into the mound of earth to her left, and it was beneath the tracks so they were able to feel some smattering of security. The damned beasts were prowling everywhere, after all, and since both required rest they had to find the place they felt was the safest for both of them to sleep at once.

Hope, so tired that his words came out as grunts, didn't bother dragging out his blankets. He fell to the soft dirt beneath him, curled into a ball, and fell asleep within minutes.

Lightning clucked her tongue and left him for the time being, leaving the cave to collect any wood that she could find. This proved to be difficult both because of the penetrating darkness and the fact that there was nothing dry around. After searching for nearly twenty minutes and only finding a few twigs, a pine cone, some needles, and a huge pile of shit, she threw her discoveries on the ground in anger and stomped back to the cave. There she unraveled every blanket that she owned and began layering them over Hope, muttering darkly to herself the entire time.

He woke up during the process and rubbed his eyes. "Light, I've got that coat on that we found. It's warm enough."

"Just take the damn blankets," Lightning mumbled, unlatching her cape to throw it around her shoulders once Hope was buried beneath a foot-thick pile of cotton and wool.

"There's like…six here, Light. I'm hot. Take some for yourself. It's too cold at night without some blankets."

"You're warm?"

Hope nodded sleepily as he lazily began pulling the topmost blankets off him. They were halfway removed before he fell back asleep, his hand still clutching the edge of on blanket. Lightning shook her head and accepted the luxuries offered to her, wrapping one around her shoulders and the other was draped over her legs. Her most precious possession, her gunblade, was in her lap, within a second's reach in case she should have need of it tonight.

Her eyes steadily closed as she listened to the silence of the hours of darkness. Punctuating the stillness was Hope's soft, rhythmic breathing, and it was the comfort of regularity that she found therein that helped push her into fitful slumber.

It seemed as if she barely closed her eyes before she felt a strange tugging at her arm. She tried to elbow it away, thinking it was Hope attempting to snatch one of the blankets he had given to her. Her elbow met something hard and the "oof" that followed after made Lightning feel a smidgeon of satisfaction at having told Hope off without even having to open her eyes and bark at him. Only a couple seconds passed before the nudging began again and this time Lightning felt the full effects of her exhaustion as she woke up, infuriated and ready to lay into Hope for daring to annoy her at such an early hour.

Her wrath slipped away when she heard his quick, panicked breathing. She glanced quickly towards the cave entrance but spied nothing there, mostly because she could barely see two inches in front of her. She tried to see Hope's face, to see if anything was wrong, but again she could see nothing. She grabbed at her pack and dug around for a flashlight until she produced it and shined it on her young companions face. He quickly lurched forward and covered the beam of light with his hand, and a moment later she felt his breath on her ear.

"Something's out there."

Her head snapped back to watch the entrance again, this time the grogginess quickly draining from her as adrenaline began to pump through her veins. Forgoing vision, she tried to listen intently instead. She tried to hear whatever it was that had Hope so riled up, but still there was nothing.

Just as she was about to tell Hope to go back asleep, she heard what it was that must have roused Hope: a loud snuffling, very close by, followed by very low, deep growls. Whatever it was must have been large: its slow footsteps sounded like small rolls of thunder.

Lightning didn't dare walk to the front of the cave to annoy that which was disturbing her sleep. She had a good idea that whatever it was owned the huge pile of shit outside and she didn't want to mess with that - she and Hope combined didn't have the manpower to take down a baby adamantoise.

Hope, too, must have had a similar idea of what it was lurking outside. He slowly took the flashlight from Lightning and, only allowing a small sliver of light out through his fingers, he shined it upwards so they had just enough light to see each other. He then looked to Lightning, his brows knit in consternation as he quietly exclaimed that the thing could easily step on their tiny cave and finish them off for good in a cave-in.

"We can't do anything about it, Hope. It's right outside."

"We can outrun it," he said in a rushed whisper. "It's better than staying in here!"

Her body protested at the very idea of running – ever since her l'Cie powers left her, she found that her continued journeys were making her feel exhausted. But, in the same breath, she knew Hope was right: they could easily outrun the big beast that was on their front door, and running might be safer than staying inside and praying that the dumb dinosaur wouldn't step on their hiding place and cause it to collapse.

Then again, all the beasts that managed to survive were more active at night, and if they ran they'd be open to an attack from any angle. When they were l'Cie, when there were six of them, that wouldn't have been an issue, but now that there were tough Pulse nasties out there and it was just the two of them, one of whom having relied strongly on l'Cie magic…

"We have to stay put, Hope." He opened his mouth to protest, but Lightning hushed him quickly. "It'll be fine. That thing is probably too small to make the cave collapse…and it might not even be one of those dinosaurs."

"You know it is," he said in a low voice, his eyes glued on the cave entrance.

"Doesn't matter what it is. It's too dangerous to go out. That's my decision, and this is not a democratic vote. Go back to bed."

He gave her an incredulous look, as if he couldn't believe she would have _that_ suggestion at a time like _this_. She gave him an equally stern look, yanked his blankets to her side and tossed them over his head and around his shoulders, then pointed to the ground. Knowing he wasn't going to get anywhere, Hope did as he was commanded but his eyes remained glued to the outside for some time with the flashlight still in his hand, his ears pricking up at the slightest noise, and he looked as if he wasn't about to fall asleep any time soon.

She half-considered knocking him unconscious with a few choice moves she had learned in her training so that his mind could get some form of rest, but something gave her the impression that it was the wrong thing to do and so she let the idea go. Instead, she let him watch the cave entrance with fearfully large eyes.

She smiled to herself and looked down at his head when she felt Hope scoot a little nearer after the baby adamantoise took another thundering step closer.

"Nervous?" she asked quietly, arching a brow high.

"That thing could kill us."

"Yeah," she said casually. "It probably will."

Hope's eyes darted to Lightning in fear, but then the whites of his eyes lessened as his face crinkled into a tiny grin. "Don't do that! It doesn't help my nerves!"

Lightning grunted in amusement and turned to look at the door, watching the very edge of one of the beasts clubbed feet swing in front of the entrance. Lowering her voice further, she moved elsewhere with the conversation. "Think your dad can keep up with our pace when we head back?" She knew he had been worried about what condition his father would be in if they found him, and she was hoping the certainty of him being alive that was in her question would alleviate some of his fears.

"My dad? Keep up?" He scoffed quietly. "No way. He works all the time at some desk job and doesn't do anything _but _that. He's out of shape."

Before she made her statement, she chewed the words around in her mouth. "You still sound a little bitter about your dad being gone all the time."

A knowing glance was shared between them. "You _always_ sound that bitter."

"Do not."

Another grin before he looked down and stuck his finger in the dirt. "I can't help it. I guess I forgive him, but it's kinda hard to just...forget that he was never there, y'know?"

She nodded, a silent gesture urging him to keep sharing his thoughts.

"And, like...all that time I only had my mom to go to, so she and I became close. I saw how much it was bothering her, how dad was never home, how stressed she would be for whatever reason, and it made me...it made me hate my dad all the more. Then came all the missed vacations, the plans that always fell through because of work, all the things for school that he never cared about...y'see?" He was picking at the edge of the blankets now, avoiding Lightning's steady gaze entirely. In a defensive tone he added, "If somebody grows up without many friends and with a dad that's never around, then...yeah. You get close to your mom. She's all you have."

"I get that," came the soft reply. "I didn't think less of you because of your grieving, you know."

"I know," he said softly. Hope was sitting with his head buried in his knee. "You just needed me to be strong. We couldn't afford any weak members...and I was weak."

"You grew out of it," she said with a half-hearted smile.

Hope's mood didn't lift at the joke. "I was only useful because of my magic. Now that it's gone-"

"Now that it's gone, you're still among the strongest people I've ever met," Lightning finished firmly; so much so that Hope looked up in surprise. "You've gone through a lot and kept your head pretty even through it all. Don't let anybody discredit you, not even yourself. Most adults wouldn't have made it in your shoes, so don't you dare think you're weak. Got that?"

"Yeah," he said, his chin lifting slightly. "Got it."

Silence spread between them again as they huddled near each other, both praying silently that the clumsy turtle wouldn't step on their hideaway. It seemed to be munching on the nearby greenery and, occasionally, the slightly pungent smell of defecation would reach their nostrils. They could at least be thankful that the things were herbivores...from their experience, carnivores smelled much worse.

She mentioned as much to Hope, who had to stifle a laugh.

At least an hour dragged by and the beast had not yet moved. Its grunting had ceased, as well as the sounds of it eating, so Lightning could only assume that it had fallen asleep right outside their doorstep. She wished Hope would follow suit, but the young boy seemed as awake as ever. She couldn't say the same for herself - she felt her eyelids drooping and, at times, she had to jerk herself back into a state of wakefulness. She was being outclassed by a kid!

Some movement alerted her a bit more, but it was only Hope shimmying away from her a bit, wrapping his blankets more tightly around his shoulders after setting up the light between them. Now that the dead of night had struck his breath was forming a very visible mist in front of him and his face was paling from being exposed to the elements. Lightning took some pity and shuffled off her layers to grab her cloak. Her fingers already seemed to freeze and cease to respond from their few seconds of exposure, but she was still able to make a hood of sorts for her young friend so that he could be a little warmer. Without a word she sat back down and once more donned her blankets again.

Grateful for the extra warmth, Hope pulled the cape closer to his head with gloved hands until only his nose and a small patch of skin was visible. "So," he said after a moment of chuckles between them, "I like your cape."

"Red's not your color. It looks terrible on you."

"Your face looks terrible on you!" Hope shot back.

"That the best you can do?"

A second's pause. "...yeah."

With a shake of her head, she muttered under her breath: "All these months and you still haven't learned any proper insults? Pitiful."

Hope gave a shrug, but with all his bundles of blankets it only looked like a fat red lump shuddering in the night. "Snow and Fang were ever the only ones I could insult." He stopped and rubbed the tip of his nose against his soft covers. "Usually they weren't able to figure it out, though. Guess it went over their heads."

_More than likely._

Another stretch of absent sound, interrupted only by the quiet snores of the beast outside, ensued. Hope seemed lost in thought, while Lightning still struggled to stay awake. She didn't want the poor boy to stay awake, alone, with that monstrosity right on their door. She knew that he would soon open his mouth to talk, since he was feeling quite chatty tonight, and she hoped it would happen soon so her mind could be jogged back into action.

She didn't have to wait long.

His hood was jerked back a bit by his own hand, revealing his face once more. "Do you still think of Fang and Vanille often?"

The only answer she could come up with was an honest one, and that was that, yes, she thought of them quite often - nearly every day. She didn't bother going into detail on why she believed they were the true heroes, or how she was realizing just how much they had to suffer through and sacrifice to get through their journey...that wasn't what Hope was wondering now. He wanted a simple answer, and that was all she gave.

"I think of them a lot, too. I miss Vanille, and even Fang, even though she teased me so much."

"It means she liked you," Lightning said, falling a bit to her right in order to nudge Hope. "She thought you were a good kid."

"I thought she was an ass half the time," Hope mumbled.

Lightning caught this and bit back another chuckle. "Your mother would kill me if she heard how we corrupted your speech."

"Well, good thing you didn't hear me when I fell off that light post the other day. You would have been afraid she'd come back and murder the crap out of you." He flashed a toothy grin before his face quickly fell. "What about...what about your parents? Do you still think of them a lot?"

_He wants to know if the pain of her memory will ever go away, doesn't he?_

Lightning bit her lip, deciding on the best way to answer such a question. If she were to be completely honest then, no, the pain never leaves. She had some recollection of her parents all the time, more often than she wished, and each time a flashing image of their gravestones would accompany it.

And the worst part was that she at least had that memory of her parents being put to rest. All Hope had was the image of his mother falling to her death, and she could imagine that he pictured his mother as one of those unfortunate souls that they had discovered who were splattered against the pavement. What a morbid thing to have to envision for a child!

_But, according to Hope, Nora died as a hero. She saved Snow. How did _my _mother die?_

She shook that thought away, banishing it forever. It was unfair to make that comparison.

"All the time, Hope," she murmured, almost to herself. "The pain will always be there, but it will lessen over time. Especially if you have good friends." She paused, reflecting. "I've heard someone say once that friends have no value to survival and that, in combat, a friend can be a dangerous thing to have. You focus so much on them that you can fall instead." She let out a low breath of air. "I thought that was true for a long time, and for a lot of reasons. Now, though, I know better. You, and the others, helped me see that. Hopefully you'll see the value of friendship, too, and learn to use us and come to us whenever you start feeling down. I could have used something like that back in the day."

Once more he disappeared into the red depths of her cape. "So...we're friends? We can talk about anything then, right?"

"If I feel like it, sure."

Tension was strung in the air while he considered his next words. "So, say I have a question - "

"Out with it."

"Okay." He breathed in and out for a second, perhaps trying to calm his nerves. "Okay," he repeated. "What...I mean, we're not done on Cocoon yet, so we've still got a lot of time 'til we get back to Gran Pulse, but, um...what are you going to do with Snow when you get back?"

Lightning frowned. She did _not_ want to talk about this. She had done her damndest to keep it out of her head since she left and, in fact, the main purpose of leaving was to ensure that Snow realized that he and Serah were practically made for each other. With a bit of a growl she said, "Nothing."

Hope retreated further into his hood until she could no longer even see his nose. Whatever he was considering, he didn't want Lightning to have any part of it. Several minutes passed before he uneasily asked another question, and though it was only two words, it still jarred her. "Why not?"

Lightning sighed and tilted her head back against the gentle curves of the cave wall. "Hope..."

"You said we were friends and could talk about anything!"

"Dammit...I said if I felt like it!"

"So...feel like it! I always talk with you about this type of stuff. You should talk to me!"

"You wouldn't get it. You're fourteen."

"You don't want to go back because of Serah, right?" Hope asked, his voice holding a cutting edge. "You think Snow's gonna get back with Serah and you don't want to deal with it? So then you're gonna run away from everything? I thought we were going to go to Oerba together, all of us?"

"I never promised that," she said wearily. When did this kid get the right to question her like this? "Besides, Oerba'll be covered in dust soon, anyway."

The anger that Hope was feeling was obvious - it emanated off of him, through his covers. "This is so stupid, Light. You can't abandon us just because you still think Snow is some no-good lowlife. He's not that bad, and...and..."

"And what?" At no further response, Lightning scoffed. "That's all you got? 'He's not that bad'?"

"No," the youth retorted hotly. He was pissed at Lightning, and that set her back. He had never been angry with her before, not like this.

"Then what, Hope? Do share."

He fumed for awhile more, his anger and hurt gathering about him and making him feel a little more foolhardy than normal. Finally he lost his cool and, in a low, rushed whisper he spilled on everything he knew relating to Snow's affection for Lightning.

She sat there patiently and listened to his tirade, hardly able to believe that this young boy had so much knowledge of Snow's intimate thoughts of Lightning. He knew so much that, with any other person, she would have thought they were lies...but this was _Hope_. He had always been honest with her.

But how could he know about how Snow removed his necklace because he didn't want Lightning to feel second-rate? Or how would he know how much Snow had agonized over coming to terms with his feelings for Lightning before they even had any sort of relationship? How could he have known Snow's resolve to do what his heart wanted him to do, what his mind told him to do, and what he knew would be right? He knew everything, from Snow's thoughts of Lightning to what Snow knew Lightning would think of the unraveling of their heated rivalry with each other; that stupid rivalry that turned into such a demented romance. He talked about how he had overheard Snow and Sazh discuss the topic several times, how Hope had purposefully antagonized Snow for his feelings, how Snow's relationship with Lightning was the reason Hope had blown Snow's arms to smithereens...

No, this young boy knew far too much for it to be a lie, and he was in such a heated frenzy that he wouldn't have been able to make up the lies so quickly. Everything he said was true, at least to his knowledge.

And that left Lightning in a very poor state of mind.

If it all was true, then Lightning had probably made a very poor decision on both Snow's character and his resolve, along with the decision to leave without ever mentioning anything to the brute. She had discredited him in her mind, made him out to be some scumbag bastard who would abandon her as soon as his old flame got back. She had thought that their whole relationship was based on loneliness and missing Serah, had convinced herself of this, and now to learn that he had been in anguish over the state of his tumultuous feelings...

"He's probably told her by now, Light," Hope said finally, his voice hoarse from his harsh whispering. "You don't give him enough credit. You don't give any of us enough credit," he added, hurt.

Lightning sat there, still trying to absorb all the information and feeling entirely shitty about herself at the same time. "Why...did you tell me all that? How did you know?"

Hope slumped to the ground, rolling over on his side to face away from Lightning. "I pay attention to everything, Light; not just to what I want to hear about. And sometimes a friend has to ignore his own feelings and do what's right, especially if doing what's right means you won't abandon us."

With the tiniest shake of her head, Lightning tried to shake off the slight reprimand she had just gotten from a fourteen year old. "'His own feelings'?" she repeated.

Hope grunted quietly, pulling himself further from Lightning. "My own feelings are that Snow's a big idiot most of the time, that's all," he said darkly. With one final tug of his covers he finally fell still. "I'm going to sleep. 'Night."

"'Night," Lightning said a bit weakly while her mind was going a hundred miles an hour and, yet, still getting nowhere.

_It was all true, wasn't it? If so, then things just got a bit more...complicated._

She owed Snow an apology for a lot of things, and not just for leaving without a goodbye.

But an apology meant that she would have to face him again.

And facing him again meant that she would have to learn, once and for all, if he had told Serah.

If, for some reason, he hadn't told Serah then she could deal with that. She had been _preparing _to deal with that for a few weeks now, after all.

But if he _had _told Serah, then...

_...shit. Shit shit shit.  
_


	30. The Start of the End

**Si's Note: Please read my profile for updates/news/etc. **

* * *

His body was curled into a ball, his head tucked into her shoulder and his legs were pressed into her sides. She could feel him shaking from the cold, shuddering from his withheld tears. She wished she could offer him more comfort than this, than running her fingers through his hair and silently watching the horizon as she held him, but no wise words of healing could come to mind. The ache that he felt could possibly lessen, sure, but the regrets of the relationship that Hope never had a chance to forge would always be carried by him.

Her eyes swept over the carcass of Palompolum, tracing the skeletal remains of buildings and skyscrapers up to the dimming and ever-dark sky. She wished that the sight wouldn't have been so horrible to behold, that it could have simply been an empty, lonely city but that type of wishing never panned out for her. The horrors here were no less here than those they had witnessed on the path to this land and she would never understand why she thought it would be otherwise. As soon as she saw what was before them she had no reason to believe that they would find Hope's father in this mayhem but, still, for Hope's sake, she went forth.

They clambered through the rubble; Hope being driven by a mad desire to find his only remaining kin. He scrambled through obstacles that on any other day he would have had to take his time poking through. He ignored sights that would have made him stop and hold back his vomit, cared nothing about the beasts digging through the garbage so near to where he stood. His eyes were focused up, by a fallen billboard, towards a house that only he could still have known the location of. Hours passed but he never stopped for breath, never once paused alleviate the pangs of hunger that he must have felt by now.

Lightning did nothing but follow silently, haunting each of his footsteps with her own, watching the insane determination that suddenly overcame the boy with grievous understanding of what he must be feeling. She bit her lip, holding the words on her tongue at bay. She couldn't tell him that this was a vain effort: he would have to see it for himself.

He stopped without warning when standing on a large piece of upturned concrete, his eyes locked on the house that he had been hunting for the past two hundred minutes and a tiring amount of days. It was smashed, as were most of the buildings here, and had the fallen half of the billboard smothering its remains. If something had been inside then there was no chance it could have made it out. If someone had made it out of the house on time then lingering here would have been a stupid, deadly thing to do.

A guttural cry was ripped from Hope's throat. He charged forward, possessed by grief, and began throwing rubble away from the house. He dug deeper, as deep as he could, until he reached a large piece that neither he nor Lightning would have been able to move. Defeat being something he was unwilling to accept, he tried to call on his old l'Cie powers to assist him, forgetting that those skills were something long since lost to both him and Lightning; something lost to them when their world came tumbling down.

Still she watched on as he crouched down, pushed his back against the large block and gripped underneath it with his fingers and tried lifting it with his legs. Veins sprouted beneath the skin of his forehead, his neck, his arms. His face turned red, then purple.

Tears pricked at his eyes.

She touched his arm; he pulled himself away and kept trying to do the impossible. She stood there, watching him for a moment longer, noticed what remained of a person not twenty feet away. If Hope turned around it would be impossible to miss – hell, even if he just glanced over his shoulder…

This time she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into her, cradling his head in her arms, running her hand down his back. He didn't resist, he stopped fighting. He lay still, then shuddered when the wind picked up. It died soon after but his shaking didn't cease.

For a long time they stood like this and Lightning began to remember those things that she had never wished to recall. Moments like this with Serah, after the death of either parent. The moments where she felt helpless, like she could do nothing to save the world that was crumbling around them. She had become Lightning so that those moments would never have to happen again.

She began to think that history has a funny way of repeating itself, that time has a cyclical and morbid sense of humor.

Movement in the shadows alerted her to the here and now, the situation that they were currently in. True dark had fallen quickly and they'd be asking for death if they stayed out here much longer. She recalled that there was something that could pass as shelter not too far back and decided to aim for it.

A murmur into Hope's ear told him the plan and he said nothing against it. Though it was unnerving to watch him move around listlessly with that lost look in his eyes, she knew she still had some things to be thankful for. If he were howling into the night then they probably would have been discovered long ago by the beasts that still clung to life.

She did her best to ignore that grieved gaze and backtracked through the empty streets.

She directed him into the concrete lean-to she had seen earlier, began to pull out the blankets that they'd need to stay relatively warm throughout the bitter nights. Hope stood still, his hands clutching his own shoulders and eyes staring out the entrance while Lightning did most of the work. She thought little of it, all things considered, and grabbed Hope's pack to set up his bed and blankets for him.

Everything was prepared by Lightning's hand, even the meager excuse of a fire she had conjured with stolen matches and wood from expensive old furniture. It wasn't much but it was enough to give them a little light. Without the false, twinkling stars of Cocoon's sky or the Fal'Cie moon, the nights seemed much less beautiful. This fire, at least, could distract them from that.

Hope wouldn't listen to her pleas for him to sit and join her. He remained standing, lost in thought and memories. She, too, began to dive into the past, prompted by Hope's melancholy and the stillness around her. Memories from her childhood swam to the surface, trying to break through the barriers that had been built to keep those very thoughts at bay. Finding that old tactics no longer worked, her mind switched modes and remembered the night sky of Gran Pulse, remembered the warmth of sitting around a fire with five others and chatting until dusk. She remembered Snow's sideways grins, Fang's howls of laughter, Vanille's squeals of delight. Even Hope had laughed then.

She wished she could see it all again, hear it all again. Now it was so depressing and lonely that she thought she would explode. Not once did she ever imagine that she would miss those things but here, in the middle of a city filled with death, she found such an idea to be the most wonderful thing in the world.

Coldness of a different kind began to settle in. She clutched at her thinning blankets, wishing it would do some good.

Her eyes settled onto Hope's back as she tried to guess at what might be running through his mind. Was he recalling his hometown and its former glory? Memories of his old life? His now-lost family? The friends that had been left behind; saviors that would forever be remembered as villains?

She knew those thoughts were poisonous ones. Thoughts that, left unchecked, could lead Hope down a path that wasn't even worthy of being trod on by him. Right now she was the only one there to help him, to ease his pain, and she couldn't help but think she was the best and worst person alive for this job. She may understand his emotions, but helping him through it was another matter entirely.

Her Blaze Edge sparkled in the firelight, granting her an idea.

She said silent thanks to her most trusted blade and took its handle into her hands. In the same movement she grabbed her pack and slid out the extra gunblade that she always carried, placing it into her offhand and stretching that out towards Hope. Her knuckles bumped against his padded back, urging him to turn around and look at her. He obeyed her commands and, once turned, he looked at her gift with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

Words were never her thing. She struggled to put words to her feelings more often than not, and even if a sentence eked its way out it was usually never the right thing to say. It was easier for her to convey her thoughts through actions, through something that she excelled in. She didn't know if the meaning of this would pass on to Hope, but it was worth a try.

She shuffled off the extra layers of blankets and slid them away from the fire. With a flick of her wrist she extended the blade of her weapon and nodded at Hope to do the same. He was still confused, still looked a little lost but, even so, his gaze traveled down to the weapon he held in his hand while he tried to mimic Lightning's movements. It took him three or four tries before he got it, but the ring of metal sounded of his success.

A small smirk of satisfaction slid across her lips at his tiny victory. He saw it in the firelight and gave her a weak smile of his own. It wasn't his typical smile, the one usually reserved for her, but it was a start.

Silently she placed one foot in front of the other and turned her hips to face perpendicular from Hope, directing her right shoulder to face him. Her offhand, though it held nothing, was still tense and prepared to defend herself if need arose. Years of training made the stance automatic – she wasn't entirely sure how to teach it to Hope other than by showing it to him.

He glanced from Lightning to his own form, trying to copy every last detail of what she was showing him. His feet were a bit too far apart, his posture was a little lazy, and his arms were _too _rigid. His grip on the gunblade was nothing to be impressed by and, indeed, the weapon almost seemed to be too much for him. Still, though, he looked to her for confirmation and she couldn't bring herself to criticize his effort just then. Maybe if he decided to continue learning from her, then she'd address the problems. Now, though…

Now was a time for action. Not words.

She nodded once, sharply, then pushed the blade forward to cover half the space between her and her protégé. He quickly copied the movement and did the same, thrusting his blade with a little too much enthusiasm. Their weapons met with a loud, metallic clang that reverberated throughout their tiny shelter.

The force of the impact surprised him, and his blade wobbled considerably in his one-handed grasp. He readjusted his grip, trying to hide his embarrassment, then looked to her to continue on with the lesson.

It was a slow dance that they shared. She showed him different ways of attacking, from an upward arc to a sweep aimed towards an opponent's knees. She taught him the difference between a parry and a block, the understated importance of balance in a swordfight, how to keep the right distance from your foe, the placement of your own sword – things that it took her ages to learn properly she threw at him during their first session together, hoping it would drown him in information that he'd have to sift through and process for hours, if not days.

His frame seemed weak, and his young and boyish face did nothing to make him seem like he would be a challenging opponent. Despite this, he was eager to learn and, better yet, he learned quickly. He could be a passable swordsman if he dedicated enough time and energy to it, but she doubted that he would ever excel at swordsmanship like she had.

Then again, he had surprised her before. Maybe there was still a chance for her to be surprised again.

They went back and forth, their blows becoming a little stronger as time passed; their movements would become a little faster. His footing, as ungraceful as it was, was becoming surer.

Their blades would meet high in the air, then one steeled sword would push the other aside to meet at the base of their torsos. She would draw her weapon back, slowly, and move to thrust it forward but he would parry it with a slash to the side. She tried to use her feet to unbalance him, use her cape to disorient him, and at first her tactics succeeded. After awhile he began to formulate plans to counter her and, though they were simple, they would effectively stop her feeble attempts to trip him up.

For well over an hour they went back and forth, one teaching while the other did his best to keep up. It was distracting and exhausting for both of them, she knew. The sheer force of concentration on his face mixed with the tiny beads of sweat that gathered on his brow was a good enough sign that he wasn't thinking too much about the tidings the day had brought. She had succeeded in what she had attempted to do and, just this once, she wasn't afraid to revel in her victory a little.

She didn't bother to stop the training until she could visibly see that his tiring was affecting their swordplay. His movements were getting sloppier and he wasn't paying as close of attention as he had been. His sword was dipping lower than she had recommended and his posture was suffering.

She stepped out of the way of one of his strikes, grabbing his wrist before he fell and impaled himself on her spare blade. "You did good, kid. Let's get some rest."

"I'm not tired."

"I am."

He looked at her with suspicious eyes but didn't argue further. He went back to the fire and settled down near his bed, grabbing a tiny bag of food to snack on before he lay himself down. She joined him moments later, sipping at the warmed water that had been ice not long before.

They sat in silence. Lightning watched as Hope's eyes focused on the fire and could see nothing beyond that. She had hoped he would go straight to bed, but it would seem that it had been an idle dream at best.

After some time had passed, he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. "I didn't think I'd find my dad alive," he said finally. "But you traveled so far to get here, and I didn't want to give up without trying."

Her gaze landed on the fire, too.

"I knew I wouldn't find him. It didn't make any sense to come here. What were you expecting to find, Light? You were going to come without me…"

_What was I expecting to find? I was expecting to find your father. I expected to find him dead. I expected to bury him, for your sake, and then bring you back something to remember him by. One day I expected to bring you back to his grave._

_After seeing your face when Serah and Dajh returned, after seeing how sad you were, I couldn't sit by and do nothing._

She shrugged at his question. "I don't know. Just thought it was worth a shot."

He folded his hands, pressed them against his chin in thought. "Thank you. For coming out all this way just to look for my dad. I…I really appreciate it, Light. But…"

His sentence fell into nothing, and probably would have stayed there had Lightning not encouraged him to finish his thought.

"But everybody's probably worried about us. I think it's time we went home."

_Home?_

The foreignness of the word made her blink stupidly. Hope gave her a forced smile, his eyes shone oddly bright yet again. "Pulse was a better home for me than this place ever was. I don't have many good memories here, you know?" He furrowed his eyebrows then lay his head in his arms. "I miss them. They're my family now." His voice cracked and he paused. "And I miss being warm. I say we go back."

She turned her head away from him and nodded, the shadows of her profile dancing in the firelight. "Not much left for us here, anyway," she grunted.

Another watery-eyed smile, followed by soft thanks. An almost peaceful silence fell between the two of them: now that they knew where their next steps would lead them, now that they knew that they'd be going where live beings would be waiting, their journey seemed far more tolerable despite the outcome so far.

Her chin nestled into the fleshy part of her forearm and she watched Hope with a certain interest as he considered the fire in front of him. His eyes were crinkled in thought, in sorrow, but there was a strength about him that had not been there before. Maybe it had something to do with the finality of their journey, of knowing that he wasn't alone despite being the last remnant of his family. Now he was among the ranks of Snow, Fang and Vanille, of being the last of their bloodlines roaming the planet. Now he was an orphan with all of the others. Though it was odd, she didn't doubt that it instilled a certain sense of camaraderie in him. Now he finally belonged somewhere where he may not have fit in before.

She didn't know if it made sense. But it fit.

His reverie broke and he turned to watch her, now. Thoughtful eyes examined hers and then a smile broke out. "Do you think Snow would be better with your sword than me?"

The question took her by surprise, but only for a moment. "His attacks would be stronger. But he's too big of a guy – he'd be clumsy. You could develop some finesse if you wanted. He'd just be…Snow."

Hope was pleased by the answer and nodded his head several times.

"You didn't ask about Sazh."

He looked back to her, his head cocked a little to the side. "Should I ask about Sazh?"

"Yes."

"Okay. So, uh, do you think Sazh would be better?"

"No. He would suck. A lot."

This answer actually garnered a small laugh from Hope, one that she was even happier to hear in the increasing darkness of the night. The sound of her dried lips crackling into a thin smile was sure to be heard throughout the cement lean-to, but she didn't care. Again she leaned over and nudged his shoulder with hers. "Go to bed."

"Yeah, yeah…"

He settled into his blankets near the fire and, for several minutes, she watched him gaze at the dancing flames of their diminishing fire, hypnotized by its dance. As minutes dragged on his eyelids drooped until, finally, they closed for the duration of the night.

Left alone in a city full of death, hiding in the remains of what was once someone's house, watching the sleeping form of a boy who had just discovered he was the last of his family made it difficult for Lightning to sleep. She tried pulling the covers over her head and resting her chin on her chest, but that aggravated the already tense muscles of her neck to a degree that made it impossible to imagine sleeping in that position.

She tried lying down, but her desire for rest faded quickly once she heard distant howls that she didn't like the sounds of.

Air puffed out of her mouth in an aggravated sigh: she would be losing another night's worth of sleep tonight, it would seem. She could barely count how many times this had happened but, if she had to guess, she'd say for every night she had slept she'd been awake for one and a half nights besides that.

She never thought cold would bother her, that silence would bother her, or death, or chaos. But she had never been quite so alone or quite so vulnerable before. In the Guardian Corps she had her squad, as useless as most of them were, and no real danger was ever really present. While a l'Cie she had the others, people that she'd dared to consider friends, people who would watch each other's backs. Now, though…

Now the only thing to comfort her were thoughts and memories. Now the only warmth she felt was by sitting close to a fire that couldn't be built too bright. Her companion was a boy who was trying his best to be bright while his world faded to gray.

It was…it just…she…

_Damn it. _

Her chin rested on her arms again. _I miss Snow._

Damn it!

Why had she gone without him? Why had she insisted on leaving without so much as saying a word to him? Making Sazh swear not to tell anyone where she went?

No, she shouldn't question _why. _She knew damn well why she did it. Maybe she should be asking herself why the hell she bothered to trust herself with these types of instincts when all they ever did was steer her wrong?

She had given Snow so much shit over the past few months; always believing he only had the worst of intentions, thinking that he just wanted some ass while Serah was gone and that she was the closest to Serah's image that he could get. She never imagined that he would have actually fallen for her, and even those days where she briefly considered the notion she would dismiss it soon after.

She had truly, truly believed that, if he was left alone with Serah, he would quickly forget about Lightning and return to his former flame. But Hope's words seemed to imply otherwise – those nights where he could have been thinking about Serah, reminiscing about her, he instead chose to dwell on Lightning. He had shared intimate memories with Sazh about the older Farron girl and not the younger. In fact, Serah was largely left out of all conversations between the two men, unless it was how to get over her or break up with her.

Why the hell didn't anyone think to share this information earlier? It probably would have spared everyone a huge migraine and—

_Hell, be honest with yourself. You wouldn't have believed it. Maybe you still shouldn't believe it. _

_You'd be stupid not to, but since when has that stopped you?_

She glared at the fire, berating herself for all the times she had shoved Snow away, accusing him of cheating and taking things too lightly when really he had faced just as difficult of a dilemma as Lightning had. The idea of walking away from Serah had never been easy for him, after all.

Goddamn.

Seems like he was a nice guy after all.

If she returned and found him back in Serah's arms then she sure as hell wouldn't blame him. She didn't even have a right to be mad or say "I told you so". She couldn't say a damn thing after the way she treated him.

But if he was still there, waiting for her as a free man…

She looked away, knowing that she was blushing even in the dark. Her stomach knotted and her skin crawled at the very thought, but…

…but if he was waiting, he deserved an apology.

And then she'd punch him in the face and kiss him.


End file.
